sorry it's only season 1 i still need to find season 2 okay~~~~~

anonymous asked:

Give us more of your happy headcanons please 😊

i hope this means like just like regular msr headcanons? right? if im wrong just give me another ask and ill do the something else :$) and like thank u for sending this :$)

btw happy headcanons: thats the cutest thing ive ever read by the way. happy headcanons. i dont know why i just

-mulder and scully had saw each other prior to the pilot meeting. i mean, one or both of them had probably attended a lecture that the other had done and were familiar with their face. i mean, given that neither passed out when they laid eyes on each other.

-after their first meeting, scully went home (btw why the fuck was she dismissed after like five minutes at work. ‘we leave for the very plausible state of oregon at 8 am see u tomorrow’ what the fuck) but after their first meeting, scully called ellen and told her she was working with that hot lecturer from last year and he was coincidentally spooky mulder, the most single man on the planet. help me ellen i dont know if ill make it.

-mulder called the gunmen because he needed advice about this adorable little redhead that had been assigned to him and oh god im screwed. i mean i hope one day i will be, but right now, im totally, metaphorically, screwed. she was sent to spy on me right???? what do i do now?????

-mulder’s fear of fire (i know but just wait) was cured after that case, one because scully was there and he knew nothing bad was gonna happen to him so he felt more comfortable facing said fear, and two, 'scully was there and she was really really cute and i was tryin to get with her all this first year and then that bitch phoebe showed up and fucked everything up and im not letting her have any power over me so there. fear cancelled. ’

-mulder slept with like a sheet as a blanket for years. he overheats. hes a walking furnace. but after the season 3 incident (or was there one before??) where mulder spends the night in scullys bed because he got poisoned, he noticed that she had a lot of covers on her bed. so eventually he went out and bought a ton of blankets just in case she ever spent the night at his place (purely platonically right???) and so she wouldnt get cold.

-not msr related but walter skinner knits. and is good at it. check out his etsy store. smoking man-voodoo dolls half off until forever.

-not happy, but the reason why mulder wears such hideous ties is because his father and his minions were government workers and always impeccably dressed, and when mulder became a federal agent, he hated the idea that he was growing up to be just like the man, so he embraced the 90’s style.

-scully could never tell you, but maggie could: mulder adn scully had worked together for three months. just three months. and by that time, scully had stashed a pack of sunflower seeds in her car, her apartment, mulder’s car (that man cannot think ahead), her mother’s house and the cushions of the mulder’s normal chair in walter skinner’s office.

-alternatively, mulder stashed scully’s favorite cassettes in his car, his apartment (hey, he could dance. maybe if the mood struck them they’d put something on and let some yayas out), the office (for when she was in a particularly awful mood because of some shit he pulled.)

-scully always gets mulder cryptid or alien gizmos when shes out of town. mulder always gets her science or medical related stuff. they once had to suffer through a budget meeting in 98 degree heat with their coats on because neither was willing to show off the “i’m feeling all science-y” (spelled with periodic letters), or the “aliens exist” temporary tattoos they were each sporting.

-at the end of every month, whoever has been to the hospital more takes the other out to dinner. it started out as a formal affair, going to a fancy restaurant and pretending that they were just friends not fbi partners. now the atmosphere is still the same, but they go to sandwich shops or burger places. scully just wanted to make sure mulder didn’t go broke since he was paying for dinner every time.

-the gunmen do regular bug sweeps of the office, their apartments, and maggie scully’s house. it was actually mulder who asked them to do hers because the adoption papers have almost gone through and his new mom needs protection. but once a month, the gunmen have a great time going over to maggies, they have lunch with her, and then in the afternoon right as they’re wrapping up, maggie’s friends come over to play cards adn invite melvin, richard and john to play with them.

-the gunmen are the #1 Caught in the Act witnesses because of the bug sweeps at the wrong times. maggie scully is #2. william scully was #3. an incident with the 3rd victim and Return of the Jedi movie night caused carrie fisher’s gold bikini to be forever tainted.

-maggie scully is very protective of fox. shes well aware that shes’ the only person who can call him fox without triggering him, and she loves this poor boy. she’s his second emergency contact, after scully of course, adn occasionally she’ll get a call saying fox is in the hospital only to show up and find her daughter straddling his hips with her tongue down his throat. “DANA KATHERINE SCULLY THIS MAN NEEDS HIS REST AND IF I FIND YOU DISTRACTING HIM FROM THAT ONE MORE TIME I’LL HAVE YOU THROWN OUT OF THE HOSPITAL UNTIL HES BETTER.” “maggie im really okay” “FOX YOU WOULDNT BE IN THE HOSPITAL IF YOU WERE OKAY.” and meanwhile scully’s hiding under mulder’s covers with a face to match her hair.

-walter skinner is genuinely terrified of maggie.

-totally not a headcanon yall probably know this from watching season seven right???? right????? but mulder agreed to go to oregon with skinner under one condition: scully goes to the hospital and gets checked out. i’m not leaving you until i know that you’re not going to pass out alone in the apartment and accidentally die.

-mulder never cried harder than when he found out scully was pregnant.

-“skinman i quit the bureau thank you and goodby-”“wait, sir, its me, agent scully, ill call you right back after mulder and i have a talk ok?”

-mulder’s allergic to pineapples. but it mysteriously went away a week after everyone found out about it.

-scully was forced by maggie to go to her high school reunion, and so she convinced mulder to come and put on the s'mulder (he trademarked that thats another story) and get back at those fucking bitches who bullied her for trying to start a biology club.

-actual dialogue from that night:
“Scully? You tried to start a biology club that’s so cute.”
“Emphasis on try.”
“What, no one wanted to compete with Dana Scully’s genius?”
“More like no one wanted to be around Dana Scully.”
“Awww, Scully, I would have been in the biology club with you.”
“Thanks, Mulder.”
“we can start our own biology club”
“mulder we’re not- whatever. oh wait check out my butt, stephanie baker is looking”

-scully and mulder both gave each other stars for christmas the same year, and they went stargazing to try and find them, only to discover that they were right next to each other in the sky.

-scully did in fact give mulder porn for christmas that one year. that seems really weird but you didn’t see the card.

“heres blank tape, video camera’s all set up. figured since those tapes aren’t yours, we could make one that was.”

-the gunmen can quote the lazarus bowl line for line. so can skinner. he plays it whenever hes sad.

-mulder makes a point of PDA towards scully whenever bill scully jrs in the room. not enough to be obviously trying to piss him off, but enough that he most certainly is.

-mulder changed his shampoo to make his hair especially fluffy circa season 2. do you miss me scully? do you miss petting my fluffy hair?

-anytime one of them asks the other for a drink, mulder will bring scully iced tea, and she’ll bring him root beer. everytime he’ll throw his head back in mock disappointment like that one stakeout.

-mulder is very aware of how much it turns scully on to see him with no jacket, dress shirt arms rolled up to his elbows. thank goodness he normally runs hot.

-they both secretly love when the other rests their head on their shoulder. but of course they never admit it.

-mulder always makes them run an office secret santa. just the two of them. because hes mulder.

-his fish have all been named after moby dick characters since he heard that that was a thing.

-they went on runs together during that second year just to be able to spend time together, but then stopped because how the fucking hell is scully faster than him, im sorry scully you’re ruining my rep, im gonna have to pretend i wasn’t just beaten in a 5k run by someone nine inches shorter than me.

-mulders mother bought him a polaroid camera when he went off to england for school, saying that he’d make so many memories adn all that crap. he never used it until he and scully were put on fertilizer background checking and he wanted to make the best of their roadtrips. she then bought one of her own and thus began the most intense contest of their lives to see who could take the most candid shots of the other. at this point in time, mulder’s closet has just of boxes of pictures of scully.

-their son would find all these thousands of pictures years later and wonder, for the thousandth time that day, what the fuck was wrong with his parents.

-they once had to take a ferry. dont ask me how or why, but it was just something they had to do. and mulder refused to stop just quoting lines from moby dick. the only way that scully could get him to stop was to pretend to see a nessie like creature.

-scully dominates at paintball, and when her son hit eleven years old, became the coolest person in the world hands down. mulder didnt stop trying to convince her that she was ALWAYS the coolest person in the world.

-they have a box of mulder’s clothes that scully simply labeled “the apocalypse could be upon us but so help me if these jeans go missing, i will hunt you down and end you.” nobody touches her man’s ass hugging jeans.

-scully + hoodie + overcaffinated mulder =

[this was the last thing i wrote last night before i passed out and i have no idea where i was trying to go with it but i think its hilarious so…]

-when mulder adn scully were first picking out things for their home together, mulder came home with a light blue-purple linen comforter. he liked the color and the texture and they loved it for exactly one year until william threw up on it and they couldnt get the stain out.

-mulder has been banned from the local florist because he loitered too long trying to pick out flowers for scully, they thought it was suspicious.

-mulder then got into gardening, and was taught by skinner how to not kill a plant.

-they have a sunflower patch right outside william’s bedroom window.

-maggie knit a blanket for william that he slept wrapped up in until he was in grad school adn the stitching finally gave out.

-if they were to have another kid, the siblings would have a rapport much like mulder and samantha’s or melissa adn scully’s. they called each other buttmunch adn teased and pulled each others hair, but let each other tag along on adventures and shit.

-mulder has a frequent customer card from LUSH because his lady loves baths and he loves excuses to follow her around smelling her hair all damn day.

-theres a fair in the tiny town they live in once a year in july. they have a family tradition of going to it, and watching fireworks and going on rides. by ten o'clock, every single time, both kids would crash from the funnel cake-induced sugar high.

-the first movie william scully ever attended was the incredibles. until the age of 9 he wanted to be a superhero and mulder 100% supported him and tried to get scully to do some science experiment that would make their son into a superhero.

-they live in a tiny town where the only entertainment is either a movie theater running very old movies or the local elementary school’s talent show. theres a farmers market on the main street every weekend in the summer and the mulder-scully clan often will bike down and hang out there for the day.

-mulder and scully chaperone school dances. every single dance. if there’s a photo booth, they’ll go make out in said photo booth and embarrass their kids only slightly more than if they were slow dancing in the middle of the vacant dance floor. “cant you just be normal???? i get you waited years to get together and are 'makin up for lost time’ but you dont have to take it out on me!!!!!”

-every year they host a “sci-fi july” for all of their friends and their families. they hang a sheet up outside every saturday night in july and watch a different sci fi movie out on the projector. scully and mulder can always be found in the back of the crowd, cuddling in a beanbag and arguing about inaccuracies.

-drive in movies. mulder adn scully cuddling in the back seat of the car while their offspring block their view on the hood of it, sharing a box of fries.

-maggie dominates the bake sale. neither mulder or scully can cook for shit and so they enlist maggie and she becomes famous.

-william has been banned from playing poker. after winning far too much off of uncle frohike, he’s been demoted to crazy 8s.

-mulder has half an alien face tattooed on his lower back. since scully has a tattoo he should too right? but he could only handle the tattoo needle for so long and afterwards scully assured him that half an alien head looked plenty cool and she loved it. he didn’t really care, she’d be the only one to get to see it, but he was more fascinated about why the hell the tattoo needle turned her on originally????? wh- how-??? scully????

-uncle skinner takes his godchildren’s halloween costumes to a new level.

-the bullpen bet as to who the father of scully’s kid was (please everyone knew it was mulder, but they were just bored) was called off when scully left early one day with the most intense craving for sunflower seeds.

-the only thing that mulder knows how to cook is grilled cheese and tomato soup. you’d think toast would be easier than grilled cheese, adn therefore something he could cook, but that is not the case.

-anytime one of the kids is sick, mulder or scully stays home with them and they spend the entire day playing scrabble and eating cinnamon toast.

-an older will is completely unable to walk anywhere near the hoover building without being yelled at as “HEY SPOOKY MU- oh sorry buddy. jeez you look like your dad”.

-as they grow older, mulder and scully decide to retire from the bureau. scully will occasionally do pathology consulting or lecture circuits, but for the most part, they simply stay around their home in virginia and have the peace that they always dreamed of.

-but that said, after their retirement, the x files, for the first time, remained open, and in years to come, many agents worked their way in and out of the office, none having as much a lasting devotion to it as mulder adn scully had. the few that did last fairly long had just as much trouble with the government conspiracies as their predecessors, despite the smoking man being long dead.

and when these agents had difficulty on cases, when they were clearly lacking in bits of information only people deeply involved with the conspiracy or long-time observants would know, all of these agents made their way out into the more rural parts of virginia, to an old but warm house, and they’d sit on the porch listening to mulder and scully bicker about what was true or not, now being the deep throat contact that the x files depends on. but for the first time, these deep throats weren’t at risk of murder because the head of the fbi was their children’s godfather and god help the poor bastard who disrupted their peaceful life.

-mulder always keeps the freezer stocked with chocolate ice cream. if its not, it is treated like a national emergency.

Anyway...

As one can assume based on my username I spend a lot of time thinking about Bellamy, who he is and what makes him who he is. My most recent round of thinking circled around to JRoth and his statements about Madi potentially causing issues between Bellamy and Clarke (because Clarke will do things for Madi that may not align with what’s best for their people), which made me think about what Bellamy’s relationships with children specifically over the course of the last four Seasons have said about his story arc, so let’s delve into this:

In Season 1, Bellamy’s connection to a child is Charlotte (who is 12). Through his relationship with her, we get our first real glimpse into who Bellamy actually is. Charlotte is only in two episodes (1x03 and 1x04) but her impact in Bellamy resonates across the Season.

Charlotte has a relationship with both Clarke and Bellamy and it’s one of the ways the show gives us a visualization of the differences between Bellamy and Clarke. We’re first introduced to Charlotte when she has a nightmare and Clarke attempts to comfort her:

Clarke: “Hey, wake up. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s just a dream. You’re Charlotte, right? I’m Clarke. It’s okay to be scared. Do you want to talk about it?”

Charlotte: “It's… my parents. They were floated and they… and I see it in my dreams and I just…”

Clarke: “I understand. My dad was floated, too. So, how did you end up here?”

Charlotte: “Well… we were taking my parents’ things to the redistribution center and… I kind of lost it. They said I assaulted a guard.”

Clarke: “I can’t say I blame you. See that bright star up there? That’s The Ark orbiting above us. I think whatever happened up there, you know, the pain… maybe we can move past that now. Maybe being on the ground is our second chance.”

The next time we see Charlotte she’s followed Bellamy and the hunting party because she can’t deal with the sound of Jasper’s pain, unfortunately before they can make it back to camp the acid fog rolls in and we find Bellamy and Charlotte trapped in a cave.  Again, Charlotte is sleeping and has a nightmare, a parallel to her first interaction with Clarke, but they differ in how they handle the situation with Charlotte:

Charlotte: “No!”

Bellamy: “Charlotte, wake up. Charlotte: I’m sorry.”

Bellamy: “Does it happen often? What are you scared of? You know what? It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it.”

Charlotte: “But… I’m asleep.”

Bellamy: “Fears are fears. Slay your demons when you’re awake, they won’t be there to get you when you sleep.”

Charlotte: “Yeah, but… How?”

Bellamy: “You can’t afford to be weak. Down here, weakness is death, fear is death. Let me see that knife I gave you. Now, when you feel afraid, you hold tight to that knife and you say, ‘Screw you. I’m not afraid.‘”

Charlotte: Screw you. I’m not afraid. Screw you. I’m not afraid.”

Bellamy: “Slay your demons, kid. Then you’ll be able to sleep.”

We see the difference in Bellamy and Clarke’s handling of the situation from the get go, while Clarke tries to get Charlotte to embrace the fear and learn from it, Bellamy encourages her to run from that fear, to pretend that she’s not afraid, to slay her demons. And we know she does this with disastrous effect when she kills Wells.

Bellamy is shaken by Charlotte’s actions, because they were influenced by his words, but “Weakness is death, fear is death” is still a statement that Bellamy embraces for the rest of the Season, in fact the only reason we actually see him admit to being afraid is when he thinks he’s dying (in a moment of weakness).

They deleted a scene where Bellamy gives a rousing speech to the Delinquents, but here’s what he says:

“Everybody, listen up. I know you’re afraid, but how you choose to handle that fear is up to you. You can let it break you down or you can use it to make you stronger. Are we just a bunch of kids from the Ark who weren’t strong enough to survive? Because if we lose today, if we let the fear win, that is what they’ll say about us. But I say screw fear: I’m telling my own damn story!”

Bellamy’s rejection of fear is the first sign that he’s anything other than the asshole that the show originally attempted to paint him as and also sets up his defining arc (”Screw fear.”) for Season 1.

Bellamy’s Season 2 kid is Lovejoy’s son and he’s introduced in Episode 2x11 (not as early as Charlotte) but he is a defining moment for Bellamy:

Lovejoy’s Son: “Mister… Are you on a ground unit? My dad is training for a ground unit.”

Bellamy: “It’s pretty cool up there. I hope he makes it. They’re just kids.”

Maya: “What did you expect you’d find here?”

And Maya’s question is an accurate assessment of Bellamy’s thought process until the moment he sees Lovejoy’s kid. He really did believe that the Mountain was full of monsters (and why shouldn’t he have?). Seeing Lovejoy’s kid forces him to reconsider the plan of attack and that’s when he almost begs Clarke for another:

“She helped me escape. If not for her, I’d be dead. And, Clarke, there are kids in here. We need a plan that doesn’t kill everyone. Please tell me we have one.”

Because Bellamy can handle killing monsters. That’s just slaying your demons, but kids? That’s a violation of everything he believes and it’s being forced to help make the decision that ultimately kills 26 children (along with the men and women) that is responsible for contributing to Bellamy breaking after his actions in the Mountain. 

Because for the first time slaying demons meant killing innocents as well. 

His Season 3 Kid? Adria, the girl who Luna loves. 

Again, this child is introduced late into the Season and they don’t actually interact much, but it is the first time that Bellamy actually sees with his own eyes the carnage that the Chipped!individuals can wreak on unsuspecting towns and its then that he fully realizes that the Chipped! aren’t enemies in the traditional sense. 

His interactions with Adria (and the others on Niylah’s rig) help lay the groundwork for Bellamy’s refusal to invade other Grounder villages the very next episode and, later, his insistence that the Chipped! are not killed only temporarily incapacitated until Clarke could shut down the CoL. 

Because this time, they are going to find a plan that saves everyone, unlike the ultimate resolution for Season 2. 

And last but not least, we have his Season 4 Kid: The Grounder Slave girl he saves in 4x02, When he saves her (and the other slaves), it’s a continuation of the journey he’s been on since Season 2 and Lovejoy’s kid:

Bellamy: “We didn’t get the machine.”

Clarke: “It didn’t survive landing?”

Bellamy: “No. It did, but I had a choice… bring the machine home or use it to save them.”

Raven: “Oh, we are so screwed.”

Bellamy: “We have time, but I am not sacrificing any more innocent lives.”

Clarke: “You just did.”

Bellamy: “I made the call, and I’ll live with that.”

Raven: “Yeah. You’re not the only one who has to live with your call, as usual.”

Bellamy: “Well, go tell them. Go tell Riley I should’ve left them to die.”

Bellamy has been forever changed by his actions over the course of the Seasons, but this is the first time we see him directly reference the loses he’s had to inflict in order to save his people. This is the beginning of Bellamy’s “We save who we can save today” arc. 

We see this arc come to final fruition when Bellamy has to make the decision to close the door on Clarke and blast off. The arc that we see begin for him in 4x02, saving those who can be saved, even if it ultimately means that others will die in that episode, is what preps him to be able to make the decision to close the door on Clarke in 4x13. 

It wasn’t just Clarke’s speech about using his head (although we do see him reference her with “It’s what she would have wanted”), it was the fact that he’d already made a decision just like this. Choosing to stay behind to wait for Clarke would have meant the death of the others on the rocket and while Bellamy might have been willing to make the sacrifice if it was just him (”I left her behind. I left her behind and we all die anyway”), he could not justify making the decision for everyone else, so he saved who he could save today. 

Basically….I wrote all of this out to say we should be paying close attention to Bellamy’s initial interactions with Madi (who will likely be one of the first children he meets) in Season 5, because they obviously plant lots of little seeds for Bellamy’s overarching Season journey in his relationships with children. 

anonymous asked:

It's more that he takes up so much screentime that no other character has gotten well-paced growth or a backstory arc. Cassandra suddenly had a call from the hospital that her tumor's worse but she hadn't had symptoms all season? Ezekiel is a super empathetic person for one episode then back to snark 24/7? Eve hasn't gotten focus since S1 Christmas, she's always Flynn's SO. I like him, but they're using him too much and we're going into the fourth season barely knowing any details about the cast

Okay I’m sorry but this actually made me laugh

“he takes up too much screentime”

Out of all 30 episodes, over 3 seasons, Flynn has only been in 16. One of them (And the Eternal Question) he about 10 minutes of screentime. Only 2 of those episodes were even focused on Flynn (”And the Hollow Man” and “And the Trial of the Triangle”).

“no other character has gotten well-paced growth or a backstory arc”

This has nothing to do with Flynn being in episodes. This is entirely because The Librarians is a small show with only 10 episodes per season. There are massive time jumps between episodes and we can only get so much story in 40 minutes.

The backstory of every character has been address in multiple occasions at this point. I mean, Jacob had an entire episode, “And What Lies Beneath the Stone (AKA Coyote)”, dedicated to his previous home life, in “And the Rule of Three” we learn that Cassandra’s family was rather controlling as well as her emotions over her tumor in “And the Heart of Darkness”, and in “And the Curse of Cindy” and “And What Lies Beneath the Stone (AKA Coyote)” we learn that Ezekiel once worked for MI6 and grew up impoverished. Jenkins even got backstory points in “And the Apple of Dischord” and “And the Fatal Separation”, as well as sprinkles of his history throughout other episodes.

I would also like to point out, the first show runner and one of the main writers for 1 and 2, John Rogers, was not fond of throwing backstory at the audience, in fact “backstory arc” probably would have made him cringe.

“Eve hasn’t gotten focus since S1 Christmas”

Eve focused episodes: “And Santa’s Midnight Run”, “And the Loom of Fate”, “And the Infernal Contract”, “And the Image of Image”,  and “And the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy”. We get backstory in two of these episodes as well as a little backstory in “And the Fatal Separation”.

“but they’re using him too much and we’re going into the fourth season barely knowing any details about the cast”

Once again, 16 episodes, and we know a lot about these characters for only 30 episodes, I’m not sure what show you’re watching.

Eve Baird:

  • Military parents, born on Christmas Eve
  • Spent most of her life in the military
  • Went through A LOT to get to her position in NATO including sexual harassment from the people she worked with
  • This resulted with her having some issues with self image and the way people interrupt you based on how you look, and does not like having photos taken of her because of this
  • Stays in touch with the people she fought with, even had a mentor
  • Incredibly protective, only wants the best for the Librarians and the Library
  • Also not “always Flynn’s SO” in “And the Hollow Men” she left his bitch ass behind when he wouldn’t stick around, and was prepared to do it again as many times as she needed to in order to protect Cassandra, Jacob, and Ezekiel
  • BEAT DESTINY LIKE TWICE WHO DOES THAT
  • Growth: Over the past 3 season we’ve watched Eve turn from a hardened boss bitch military solider to someone who cares fiercely but is still learning to be a guardian to someone who understands that the people she works with are human and acts in their best interest

Jacob Stone

  • Rural upbringing with a bitch of a father and a most likely absent mother
  • Worked on an oil rigging firm that his father hoped he would run with him one day whether he wanted to or not
  • Had to grow up with a father who thought he was a dumbass as he taught himself to read ancient greek texts at night
  • Has major league trust issues after spending about 30+ years hiding his identity from people
  • Passionate, will fight for what he believes, even if it’s against people he admires
  • Better singer than Ezekiel
  • Probably would’ve been a professor is he had a different life cause honestly he was enjoying himself way to much in “And the Cost of Education”
  • Doesn’t think too highly of himself when it comes to fighting, before “And the Fatal Separation” he only thought of himself as a bar fighter
  • Incredibly loyal once somebody’s earned his trust
  • Growth: Over the past 3 season Jacob as grown from a distrustful man who hides his abilities from the world to someone is unashamed of his passion and fully trusts the people around him

Cassandra Cillian

  • Had a mom and dad who pushed her to be the best in academics, no matter what she wanted
  • Diagnosed with her tumor at 15 years old
  • Her parents threw out all her STEM trophies when she became too sick to compete 
  • Grew up feeling inadequate, constantly reminder of her mortality as well as having to face her synthesis attacks 
  • Couldn’t go to college, despite how badly she wanted to
  • Child-like at heart, because she grew up with parents who never gave her the chance to believe in magic (they told her Santa wasn’t real when she was 3)
  • Picked her own death date when she was diagnosed with her tumor because she wanted to die on her own terms
  • Feels the need to prove herself because before she thought her gift was a curse that made her useless and now struggles with the idea that her gift is the only thing that makes her useful
  • BISEXUAL AS HELL
  • Growth: We’ve watched Cassandra gain control of her abilities gradually over the course of season 1 then gain confidence as she finds something she’s quite good at (combining science and magic) over season 2 to someone who has learned that she does not need magic or her gift to be useful

Ezekiel

  • Grew up impoverished (with someone else, as he says “we” in his monologue)
  • Was made fun of by the other kids, this made him grow to resent other people and just take what he wants
  • Was recruited by MI6 for his skills (and in fact did enough for and against the MI6 that he has 2 separate files)
  • Believes he’s only good at stealing, and is proud of his abilities
  • Met Flynn once while Flynn was the only Librarian
  • In that same time period, made a name for himself among the underground community of thieves
  • Spent a lot of times in night clubs, enough to be able to easily recognize different symptoms of drug use and how to treat them
  • Still cares greatly for the wellbeing of other people, even though he’s constantly egotistical 
  • He was at one point, the worst version of himself, and wasn’t even that bad
  • Growth: Went from literally the worst version of himself, someone who would bail on the people who needed him and would rather run then punch, to someone who would go through the same torture repeatedly to save his friends and not even boast about it, in fact he fakes forgetting everything, who sacrifice himself to help the cause, and would fight side by side with people who once though he was just an egotistical brat

Jenkins

  • Was once the night Galahad of Camelot
  • Fought his own father, who turned to the Serpent Brotherhood and bring chaos to the world
  • Has spent thousands of years working for the Library, tinkering and enhancing magical objects
  • Does not like the first Librarian, Judson, because he fell in love with the first Guardian, Charlene, but Charlene chose Judson over him
  • Is friends with Mrs. Clause apparently?!?
  • Also performed naked on stage at one point?!!?
  • Unfortunately that’s all I can think of because we haven’t had much with Camelot since season 1 and I’m just waiting for the Jenkins focused episode I need in my life
  • Growth: Grew from a grumpy caretaker who wanted nothing more than to be left alone and not bother to someone who cares deeply for the people he’s become friends with and actually charge into dangerous situations to save them after even being told not to (I mean, dude jumped off a cliff to save Eve man like my gosh)

I would list Flynn’s stuff, but I have 3 movies worth of backstory for him and I can’t properly separate it from the show without having to rewatch everything. 

However, I think at this point it should be rather obvious that Flynn being in only half of the series has done very little to actually affect the developing story and the character growth in The Librarians

anonymous asked:

Hi, i'm really interested in your analyzing stuff as they make sense so much. So what is your opinion on Noora's character development? It does not seem consistent to me. It's like Noora season 1 is a different person from Noora season 2, 3, 4. Well, to me, SKAM is such an exceptional series because it feels so real. I love it a lot so the Noora's inconsistency just bothers me too much. Hope you could help me with this way-into-deep fangirl problem haha. Takk

hahaha aww hello angel and thank you so much! <3

see I totally agree with you! Noora is so different from season 1…it’s interesting 

I wonder if this could have anything to do with the pov concept. 

How each character is perceived differently depending on the main. 

in season one…to Eva, Noora was this completely cool, mature, wise, kind and badass girl who came out of nowhere and helped Eva find her balance in the world when all she could do was stumble. 

but then in Noora’s own pov, she actually saw herself as someone who had to be strong and put together all the time. she wouldn’t let herself give in to emotions and break or ask for help…to her she almost had to be the “effortless strong mature social justice warrior” everyone perceives her as….so when she begins questioning her own morals 

and can’t seem to swim in the deep waters without a lifeboat… she beats herself up even more because she has always relied on herself…depending on someone else would almost make her weak in her opinion…but her season taught her that that’s not the case and just like everyone else, Noora needs people and it’s okay to ask for help. 

It was a good development in my opinion (if you take out all the willhelm stuff)

but then in Isak’s pov she became more of a passive character…who we only really saw when she was discussing her break up with willhelm..i think this is because Isak was struggling with his own boy problems so when it came to Noora he perceived her as a girl heartbroken and struggling over a boy…almost like self projection

and now Sana….Sana is struggling so hard to maintain her two seperate worlds and fit into this one that she is seeing how easy it comes for others. And Noora kind of represents that no matter how much they can be alike…Sana won’t always be treated the same because of their differences appearance and faith wise. But also Sana and Noora are truly so similar and Noora struggles with opening up and accepting her feelings (as explored in her season) so I think we kinda see this in Sana’s pov somehow? we are reminded of how much Noora struggles with things like Sana and how alike we are, but we also see how easy things seem to come for her that aren’t easy for Sana. which ends up making Sana annoyed influencing the perception of Noora to be different again. 

So maybe it is a pov thing? 

or maybe it could also be a really realistic thing….because Noora was 16 when we met her in season 1 and since then so many things have happened, and she’s had her heart broken, morals questioned, and she’s faced assualt…so it makes sense that Noora’s character would twist and turn quite a bit. She is learning just like all of us….and still growing and becoming the person she is. 

she’s still there but I think perception influences it a bit. 

I dunno I miss season 1 Noora too because she seemed so different…but maybe this is better because we are being reminded that she is not perfect, or completely wise, or with all the answers who can do no wrong. 

she is real and human just like you and me and I don’t think that came out so much in s1 because in Eva’s eyes she was this beautiful heroine saving her from isolation and loneliness and giving her someone she can turn to. <3 

kinda like how Even came across as this mysterious uber cool perfect handsome confident guy with no worries in the first half of season 3…..oh boy were we wrong. 

I don’t know if this made any sense or if I just ranted…but maybe Julie is just trying to capture a more complex character in Noora…but yeah I agree it’s a lot different to s1. 

Request -- Hello there ^-^ can you write a one shot where the reader is in a relationship with Sam and maybe pregnant and the story takes place at the end of season 1/beginning of season 2 so John is still alive and the reader shares Sammy's opinion on him and they argue alot with John. And John yells at the reader that she would be a bad mom and that she would raise her kid exactly the same he raised his two sons? And in the end it's all fluff between sammy and the reader? Thank you xx

(For be-a-little-dreamer. I hope that you like it! x)


Racing through the halls of the hospital and trying to find the room that Sam was in, you only faintly thought about the strong antiseptics and metal scent that was usually present at every medical center. You absolutely hated it, but it wasn’t the most important thing to you right now, so you just scrunched your nose slightly at the sickening smell and went on, making sure that you were on the right track.

The phone call had only come from Sam ten minutes ago, who had a raspy voice and an out-of-it feeling to his words as he had slowly explained what had happened so that you could grasp the event through your abrupt panic. He had been the only one awake at the time because he had suffered only minor injuries, but John and Dean were still unconscious. Even though he didn’t directly tell you, you could tell by the broken touches in his tone that his older brother certainly wasn’t in the best shape. You had promised to be there with him as soon as possible and was keeping your vow by rushing to him, finally reaching the flight of stairs that would lead you to the right floor. As you rapidly stepped up them, you suddenly realized that your hands were cradling your stomach; apparently, you had been holding it unthinkingly.

Regardless of your hesitance, you dropped your hands at your sides at sighed to yourself. You had only just found out a couple nights ago that you were pregnant, and still had yet to tell Sam about the discovery; you were showing only a tiny bit, and he had been oblivious to the change of your body so far. Telling him had been number one on your agenda when he got back from the hunt, but under the shadow of what had just happened, it was obviously not a good idea to announce the news to him right now. At this time, you just needed to be his support while he and his family healed; you knew that all three of them were strong, but you knew that he needed someone to be with him and be an anchor.

Turning the corner when you reached the top of the stairs, you started to run when you saw him leaning against the doorframe of one of the rooms midway down the hall. You called out his name and his head snapped up, his lips turning up into a smile of mixed emotions; it was somber, of course, but he was blissful that he was able to see you again. He opened his arms and you ran into them, burying your head into his shoulder and keeping yourself from shaking and crying in his hold. Sam was alive, breathing, and there was nothing that you were more grateful for at the moment.

“I—I love you so much,” you whispered into his jacket, and he kissed the top of your head tenderly.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he murmured in return to you, pressing your forehead against his when you lifted your face. Pulling away, you ghosted your fingers over the cuts and bruises that were evidence of what he and his family had been put through; he chuckled, pressing his lips lightly to your fingertips. “Don’t worry. I’m basically indestructible.”

Laughing softly, you rolled your eyes, but your two words were a bit sorrowful. “If only.”

“What a sweet reunion,” You spun around when you heard John’s voice come from the hospital bed, and saw him sitting close to upright with a smirk on his face.

“I’m sorry, John, I didn’t realize that you were awake,” you apologized politely, stepping into the room with Sam at your side. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Well, sweetheart, I was possessed by a demon and practically just got crushed by an eighteen-wheeler. Does that answer your question?”

Dad,” A hiss seeped through Sam’s clenched teeth, but his father just ignored him, and you silently shook your head to tell him that it was okay.

Your smile, which you hoped to be bright and assuring, actually turned out to be quite unenthusiastic because of his attitude. “I’m sure that you’ll be back up on your feet in no time at all.”

He scoffed, gazing in distaste at the bland walls around him. “Let’s hope so. And to think, I would even be going through all of this torture if Sam had shot the damn demon.”

Sam’s hands balled into angry fists, and he stepped towards his dad; John looked unabashed as he towered over him, though, and is expression actually had a hint of amusement in it as he came closer.

This is…torture for you?” Sam seethed incredulously, but didn’t seem surprised at his father’s choice of words at all. “Let me tell you what was torture: leaving Y/N behind and going through state after state looking for you, with Dean somehow managing to get me just a little bit hopeful!”

“And I still don’t know how,” John didn’t have any sense of shame. “You’re still just as stubborn as ever. There’s a reason why I raised you in this life, Sam—”

“Yeah, so you could get revenge on the Yellow-Eyed Demon! I know that!” His voice rose a few notches, and you stepped back, becoming a bit frightened of their argument. “But that’s all you’ve ever cared about after Mom died! I came with Dean because you’re my family!”

"Family?” John guffawed without humor. “Don’t you talk to me about family, Sammy! You walked out on yours!”

Sam looked ready to explode. “And you shouldn’t coach me on it, either!”

“That’s enough!” Your yell was loud enough to shut both of them up, and the air was silent as they both turned to look at you. John’s eyes roved over your tense body until they landed on your hands, which had subconsciously made their way back to your stomach protectively.

"Mary did that,” John’s voice was a little awed as he spoke.

Bewildered, Sam looked between the two of you. “Did what?”

“The hands on her belly,” His father responded, and Sam followed his line of sight. “She only did that when she was pregnant.”

The hazel gaze that belonged to the younger Winchester fell on yours, and you stared straight back at him with a bit of guilt in your own eyes.

“I’m sorry—” You started, but John interrupted you before you could explain why you hadn’t told him yet.

“How could the both of you be so goddamn idiotic?”

"Excuse me?” you asked, your glare afire at what left his mouth. “What exactly do you mean?!”

“You conceived a child in the worst kind of lifestyle that exists!” He spoke as if you were incompetent to process what he was saying. “That kid is screwed already!”

"And what exactly makes you say that?!”

“Darlin’, am I really going to have to spell it out for you?” He laughed, ignoring how furious you were before becoming completely serious and allowing his words to slip out as yells. “You’re going to raise it exactly how I did Sam and Dean, and you’re going to be a horrible mother!”

A sudden rush of heat and anger rushed through you, and you couldn’t stop yourself before you planted a slap across his cheek; he actually looked a bit surprised at your action, but you didn’t take any satisfaction from that.

"I promise you that I’ll prove you wrong. I will never be as terrible of a parent as you are.”

With that, you made the trek out of the room as quickly as possible, fuming the whole way. Your vision was being blinded by your tears of rage, and you slumped against one of the alabaster walls so you could just stand there and cry; honestly, you didn’t care who saw you at that point. You were taken aback when you felt arms slide around you cautiously, and you sank into the familiarity of them as you sobbed, grateful for Sam’s presence as your tears dampened his plaid shirt and jacket. He comforted you while you cried, leaving trails of soft kisses over your face and whispering words of comfort as the sobs that racked your body began to disappear.

"So,” Sam started when you were quiet, both of you in calm states once again. “How long have you known?”

“I found out two nights ago,” you confessed. “And I’m not too sure, but I think I’m almost three months along.” He whistled lowly, and you looked up at him with fresh saltwater filling your eyes again. “I’m sorry if this isn’t want you want, Sam. I just—I-I don’t know—”

“Are you kidding, Y/N?” He took hold of your chin gently, and you realized that a huge grin was on his face, the first genuine one that you had seen since you had gotten to the hospital. “I love our child already. Believe me when I say that.”

“Really?” you whispered, and he nodded in response before putting his hands over yours, which were still resting on your abdomen.

“You’re going to be an amazing mother,” he told you, putting his lips to yours in a passionate kiss; affectionate joy was electric inside of you, and your smile matched his when he pulled away. “And trust me, we are going to prove him wrong.”

"But, we have to get through this first,” you said, and he nodded in miserable agreement, lips pressed in a tight line. “I’ll be here for you, as always.”

Sam kissed you sweetly once more, hugging you to him. “And you’re all that I need.”

It Doesn't Matter What Others Tell You, It's What You Believe That Counts

I can’t begin to tell you how much I love my dash on Tumblr. Every morning, before I start my day, I take a peek to see what everyone in this phenomenal fandom has been up to while I was sleeping and I can’t help but smile. The fanart is jaw-dropping, the fanvids are heart-wrenching, and now that I’ve started reading fanfic, I’m finding so many that are addictive. What I particularly enjoy is the down-to-earth responses and metas written by the bloggers I follow. They answer with such raw honesty that I fall in love with them every morning, all over again.

I’m not a fan of the blogger who tells you what you want to hear. I do not mean that to be offensive to those bloggers or disrespectful in anyway; it’s merely my personal preference. I like to keep it real (except when reading fanfiction, or writing my wishlist for Olicity, or imagining what Oliver and Felicity are really saying when they engage in eye frakking…huh, maybe I don’t like to keep it real……JK). I’m also not that blogger who is going to tell you what you want to hear. I’m going to tell you what I believe and how you take it, whether you believe with me or choose not to, is entirely up to you. And you will never hear me say that anyone who believes differently is wrong. Who are we to say that the belief or opinion of someone else is wrong? We may disagree, but that’s okay and no one should be belittled for having a different viewpoint. Our viewpoints are what make this fandom so rich in ideas and theories of where the show is going. So, no, I will never say someone else’s opinion is just wrong. Of course, that philosophy does not apply to Lauriver fans. They are just wrong. I kid. Sort of.

When it comes to the issue of whether Olicity is endgame, it is my opinion that it is an entirely subjective issue. We cannot know what is in the minds of the EPs or what their long-term plan is for these two beloved characters. Marc Guggenheim said that they always have a plan in place but that they need to leave room to deviate from the plan. I think that is the case with Olicity. Do I believe Olicity is endgame? With all my heart. Can I guarantee you that Olicity is endgame? Nope. But I can tell you why I believe they are endgame and you can either believe with me or look for someone to make you a guarantee.

Those of you who have followed me for some time know that I did not ship Olicity until this scene played out:

And it wasn’t until Episode 1 of Season 2 that Olicity started vying for OTP status against Mulder and Scully. In fact, I was quite torn. Can you have more than one OTP? I decided I could, especially since one show is no longer on the air (dear God, if they do another movie I will be certifiable.). Especially after this scene (sorry, not the one of him rescuing her. This said so much more to me!)

Season 1 established Original Team Arrow and a deep, friendship between Oliver and Felicity. Yes, it was filled with sexual innuendos, Felicity staring at Oliver as he worked out, and an electric charge that just hummed in every scene they had together but most of that was on Felicity’s side. Oliver was still too focused on the notebook and (leans over desk to gag into trash can) Laurel. As one reviewer said about her, Felicity was us; she epitomized the fan reaction to Oliver’s utter hotness and sex appeal. But in Season 2, that awareness started to shift. For me, I saw bits of it in episode one. Especially when Felicity shows him the improvements she made to The Foundry. The look on his face when he saw the improvements and then the bow:

And I will forever believe, regardless of what anyone else says, that the one cup of coffee scene was when Oliver began to (pardon the pun) smell the coffee, not enough to for that “light bulb” moment, but enough to stare at her longer than usual.  And it wouldn’t be the last time Oliver would look at Felicity in that way or that Felicity would offer comfort in a way only Oliver would accept.

\

As the season progressed, my belief and faith that Oliver and Felicity were endgame continued to take root. It solidified into something more concrete, especially with scenes like this:

But this:

The epic rage on Oliver’s face as he kills the man who threatened Felicity’s life, my God, I actually flinched (and still do) when I saw this and thought to myself that this is a man too stupid to realize he is in love. And then the crafty director captured this:

Make some room Mulder and Scully, Olicity are taking up residence.

The incredible, and undeniable, chemistry between the actors translates into their characters almost magically. Yes, we talk about chemistry all the freakin’ time when it comes to these two, but really what other word captures how much their scenes absolutely freakin’ sizzle regardless of what they are discussing? Their combined charisma and the intensity they lend their scenes together is what gives an added dimension to Arrow. It is what gives it more depth beyond a crime-fighting superhero show. It’s the very heart and soul of the show (this in no way detracts from Diggle’s importance. That is a post outside of Olicity because Diggle is more to me than someone who ships Olicity).

So I believed.  And every week the writers and producers gifted me with more reasons to believe. I will never forget the scene where Oliver apologizes to Felicity for being an asshat to her in 2.10. To comfort her about Barry, Oliver muses that perhaps Barry is dreaming of her. When Felicity starts to use logic and medical studies, Oliver gently stops her and this:

But I think we can all agree that this moment in the mansion, was never truer than it was at that moment.

Every plan must have room for deviation and I think it is quite clear that the producers are deviating from their original love interest plan. Will that deviation continue? I really don’t know. Only Marc and company can tell us that. But with moments like this between Oliver and Felicity:

 And this:

 And then this:

And finally:

I believe, with all my soul, that when all is said and done, it will be Oliver and Felicity. There is no other choice to make. Sinceriously.

Some Bethyl-ish thoughts on those new clips... (Spoilers)

So first off this is just my opinion on the new Beth clips that just leaked, not an attack on anyone’s ship, which is why it isn’t tagged with Caryl:) Also Gifs because, feeeellllsss…. forgive me.

1. I don’t think Beth has amnesia, when you see her in the hospital for the first time she’s obviously confused but she knows her own name, so chances are its just her being untrustworthy and quiet. She wouldn’t react to Carol being brought in because its obviously after she’s been there for a while and has been beaten, so she knows what these people are capable of and not to trust them.

2. It looks like Carol sacrifices herself for Beth and probably Daryl. We know she’s at the hospital with Beth and that when you see Daryl come back and Michonne ask about Carol, he looks away upset and then calls out to someone behind him (probably Beth). I don’t wish death on Carol but I think narrative wise this is where they have been building to, its obvious she feels guilty about the people she killed and she’s incredibly removed from everyone, so this looks like the way she might chose to ‘atone’ for her sins. Especially after being at the church this is where her mind might be, looking for a way out and sacrificing herself for two people she cares about. They might have written themselves into a corner with Carol at this point since she has done so much and seems unable to forgive herself and rejoin her family, even after saying she wants to start over, she still tries to leave, knowing that as strong as she is, being out there alone is basically a death wish. Whether you dislike Beth or Bethyl, you have to remember that Carol as a character loves them both and would sacrifice herself to protect them, because they are her family.

3. Beth deserves a bit more love than she gets. It always surprises me the way certain female characters are viewed. If they are strong from the get go (like Michonne) and become vulnerable, we don’t view that as weakness. If they start as victims and become stronger (like Carol) we respect them, we let them find their strength and respect that. Whereas when Beth sees the same sort of character development (although slower) we see her as annoying, needy, weak etc. Looking at how far she has come from the sheltered farm girl to a fighter and someone who managed to comfort and give Daryl some peace, I’m so proud of her character. The Walking Dead doesn’t have a great track record of creating well thought out female characters, especially in the early seasons with Andrea and Lori, but I really love what they have managed to do with Beth, Michonne, Carol and Maggie. They have layers, they aren’t just one thing anymore, but people seem to hate Beth for growing. And if you think that a cop trying to force her into having sex is acceptable, we can just part ways here. I for one am expecting her to stab him in the eye with some scissors because she isn’t about to become the victim again. She has changed and Daryl helped with that, but she has also been hardened by her experiences over the past few years, she’s shaped herself into a warrior the same as her sister did. CHARACTER GROWTH.

4. I don’t know what is going to happen with Daryl and Beth, I just know that while everyone settled and sort of looked forward and forgot her, Daryl didn’t. He went after her without a second thought, even with everyone found and with him again, something was missing. Beth has had such a huge effect on him, the same as Rick and Carol have before, in shaping his outlook and changing what he thinks he is capable of and who he is. Whether you want to believe its romantic or not, it saved him from thinking the way Carol does now, that there is no going back and that too much damage has been done. Daryl could easily be as broken down as Carol is  (Norman admitted as much), without Beth he might have not been able to come back from what happened at the prison. So I really want to see the dynamic between him and Beth at the camp with their family. Personally it would great to see them sort of become an inseparable team that just gets each other without words and slowly becomes romantic… but I’m rambling now.

5. Beth isn’t going to die. She can’t. If Carol doesn’t make it then we’re already down one essential female character, I just don’t see them decimating the 'original’ cast more this season. Since we really only have Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Daryl, Rick, Carl and Michonne left. They have to keep some of them around since we have the biggest connection to them and are more invested in their outcomes more than Tara or Eugenes’. Plus this isn’t Glee, they can’t just create a whole new cast and kill all the originals off…. or send them to New York.

6. Maggie. Maggie. Maggie. I love you but the fact that you haven’t really mentioned your sister at all since leaving the prison and don’t even look a little sad that its just Glenn there and not her too, isn’t working. The writers are kind of doing her character a disservice here and I’m hoping its because there will be a bit of dramatic payoff when Beth comes back, since she had such faith that everyone would live and no one but Daryl really saw the same in her. I think the show needs that sort of conflict instead of just the big bad of the season and monotony of survival.

Ah sorry this was so long! I have feeeeels okay?

Title: Peace I Leave With You, 22/27-ish?

Fandom: OUAT

Rating: M

Word Count: ~6,400

Summary: When Emma needs a friend in Storybrooke, she finds one in the sinfully attractive priest Killian Jones. AU starting in season 1.

Notes: I managed to finish this one while I was sick in bed, so I guess there are some upsides to being ill. We’re moving into the home stretch. I decided to veer slightly further from canon for the final chapters, but I’ve put some fun twists in there. Also, much thanks to artielu and angelicbeing for some brainstorming help. Hope you enjoy! Disclaimer: Lines of dialog from the show are quoted in this chapter – none of it belongs to me, etc. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21

Or read on Ao3

I received a request for recaps since my updates are far apart, so I’ll give that a try.

Previously in PILWY: With Johanna’s murderer still on the loose in Storybrooke, Emma and Henry leave for New York with Gold, only to discover that Neal and Baelfire are one and the same. Still reeling from that news, Killian is captured by Regina and Cora - who faked her death at the well. They torture him and Belle to get the location of the dagger. Killian helps Belle escape, but faces more torture before David rescues him. Learning of Killian’s capture, Emma and company race home. Killian is severely wounded in the hospital, and Gold helps Emma use her magic to heal him. After placing protection spells around town, Emma visits Killian and they share a night of passion. Killian confesses his love.

-

Emma knows she needs to get home to Henry. She doesn’t intend to fall asleep. But after the terror and exhaustion of the day the exquisite peace she feels wrapped up in Killian’s arms is too much for her, and she drifts off.

Sometime later the feeling of Killian twitching and shaking beside her rouses her to a state of nervous alertness. She starts up from her pillow, but seeing no threats in the dim moonlight that fills the room, she turns to look back at Killian.

His eyes are still shut, but he shakes his head back and forth, his body jerking every few seconds. A steady murmur of half-distinct words issues from his mouth. “No… mmhhnn…don’t know…ngh…don’t know…stop…please stop…”

His mutterings take on a more insistent and panicked tone as they go on.

Emma sucks on her bottom lip, uncertain of what to do. She’s had her share of nightmares in her lifetime, but she’s always coped with them on her own. She’s seen movies and read books where parents comfort children with nightmares or lovers comfort one another, but it’s something that’s never been done for her, and she has no idea how to do it for him, either.

She extends a tentative hand to brush against his shoulder. “Killian?” she whispers.

He gasps, his whole body goes ridged, and his eyes fly open, staring sightlessly at the ceiling. He takes a few deep breaths, and Emma sees his fingers dig into the sheets, curling into a grasping fist.

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