Give us more of your happy headcanons please 😊
i hope this means like just like regular msr headcanons? right? if im wrong just give me another ask and ill do the something else :$) and like thank u for sending this :$)
btw happy headcanons: thats the cutest thing ive ever read by the way. happy headcanons. i dont know why i just
-mulder and scully had saw each other prior to the pilot meeting. i mean, one or both of them had probably attended a lecture that the other had done and were familiar with their face. i mean, given that neither passed out when they laid eyes on each other.
-after their first meeting, scully went home (btw why the fuck was she dismissed after like five minutes at work. ‘we leave for the very plausible state of oregon at 8 am see u tomorrow’ what the fuck) but after their first meeting, scully called ellen and told her she was working with that hot lecturer from last year and he was coincidentally spooky mulder, the most single man on the planet. help me ellen i dont know if ill make it.
-mulder called the gunmen because he needed advice about this adorable little redhead that had been assigned to him and oh god im screwed. i mean i hope one day i will be, but right now, im totally, metaphorically, screwed. she was sent to spy on me right???? what do i do now?????
-mulder’s fear of fire (i know but just wait) was cured after that case, one because scully was there and he knew nothing bad was gonna happen to him so he felt more comfortable facing said fear, and two, 'scully was there and she was really really cute and i was tryin to get with her all this first year and then that bitch phoebe showed up and fucked everything up and im not letting her have any power over me so there. fear cancelled. ’
-mulder slept with like a sheet as a blanket for years. he overheats. hes a walking furnace. but after the season 3 incident (or was there one before??) where mulder spends the night in scullys bed because he got poisoned, he noticed that she had a lot of covers on her bed. so eventually he went out and bought a ton of blankets just in case she ever spent the night at his place (purely platonically right???) and so she wouldnt get cold.
-not msr related but walter skinner knits. and is good at it. check out his etsy store. smoking man-voodoo dolls half off until forever.
-not happy, but the reason why mulder wears such hideous ties is because his father and his minions were government workers and always impeccably dressed, and when mulder became a federal agent, he hated the idea that he was growing up to be just like the man, so he embraced the 90’s style.
-scully could never tell you, but maggie could: mulder adn scully had worked together for three months. just three months. and by that time, scully had stashed a pack of sunflower seeds in her car, her apartment, mulder’s car (that man cannot think ahead), her mother’s house and the cushions of the mulder’s normal chair in walter skinner’s office.
-alternatively, mulder stashed scully’s favorite cassettes in his car, his apartment (hey, he could dance. maybe if the mood struck them they’d put something on and let some yayas out), the office (for when she was in a particularly awful mood because of some shit he pulled.)
-scully always gets mulder cryptid or alien gizmos when shes out of town. mulder always gets her science or medical related stuff. they once had to suffer through a budget meeting in 98 degree heat with their coats on because neither was willing to show off the “i’m feeling all science-y” (spelled with periodic letters), or the “aliens exist” temporary tattoos they were each sporting.
-at the end of every month, whoever has been to the hospital more takes the other out to dinner. it started out as a formal affair, going to a fancy restaurant and pretending that they were just friends not fbi partners. now the atmosphere is still the same, but they go to sandwich shops or burger places. scully just wanted to make sure mulder didn’t go broke since he was paying for dinner every time.
-the gunmen do regular bug sweeps of the office, their apartments, and maggie scully’s house. it was actually mulder who asked them to do hers because the adoption papers have almost gone through and his new mom needs protection. but once a month, the gunmen have a great time going over to maggies, they have lunch with her, and then in the afternoon right as they’re wrapping up, maggie’s friends come over to play cards adn invite melvin, richard and john to play with them.
-the gunmen are the #1 Caught in the Act witnesses because of the bug sweeps at the wrong times. maggie scully is #2. william scully was #3. an incident with the 3rd victim and Return of the Jedi movie night caused carrie fisher’s gold bikini to be forever tainted.
-maggie scully is very protective of fox. shes well aware that shes’ the only person who can call him fox without triggering him, and she loves this poor boy. she’s his second emergency contact, after scully of course, adn occasionally she’ll get a call saying fox is in the hospital only to show up and find her daughter straddling his hips with her tongue down his throat. “DANA KATHERINE SCULLY THIS MAN NEEDS HIS REST AND IF I FIND YOU DISTRACTING HIM FROM THAT ONE MORE TIME I’LL HAVE YOU THROWN OUT OF THE HOSPITAL UNTIL HES BETTER.” “maggie im really okay” “FOX YOU WOULDNT BE IN THE HOSPITAL IF YOU WERE OKAY.” and meanwhile scully’s hiding under mulder’s covers with a face to match her hair.
-walter skinner is genuinely terrified of maggie.
-totally not a headcanon yall probably know this from watching season seven right???? right????? but mulder agreed to go to oregon with skinner under one condition: scully goes to the hospital and gets checked out. i’m not leaving you until i know that you’re not going to pass out alone in the apartment and accidentally die.
-mulder never cried harder than when he found out scully was pregnant.
-“skinman i quit the bureau thank you and goodby-”“wait, sir, its me, agent scully, ill call you right back after mulder and i have a talk ok?”
-mulder’s allergic to pineapples. but it mysteriously went away a week after everyone found out about it.
-scully was forced by maggie to go to her high school reunion, and so she convinced mulder to come and put on the s'mulder (he trademarked that thats another story) and get back at those fucking bitches who bullied her for trying to start a biology club.
-actual dialogue from that night:
“Scully? You tried to start a biology club that’s so cute.”
“Emphasis on try.”
“What, no one wanted to compete with Dana Scully’s genius?”
“More like no one wanted to be around Dana Scully.”
“Awww, Scully, I would have been in the biology club with you.”
“we can start our own biology club”
“mulder we’re not- whatever. oh wait check out my butt, stephanie baker is looking”
-scully and mulder both gave each other stars for christmas the same year, and they went stargazing to try and find them, only to discover that they were right next to each other in the sky.
-scully did in fact give mulder porn for christmas that one year. that seems really weird but you didn’t see the card.
“heres blank tape, video camera’s all set up. figured since those tapes aren’t yours, we could make one that was.”
-the gunmen can quote the lazarus bowl line for line. so can skinner. he plays it whenever hes sad.
-mulder makes a point of PDA towards scully whenever bill scully jrs in the room. not enough to be obviously trying to piss him off, but enough that he most certainly is.
-mulder changed his shampoo to make his hair especially fluffy circa season 2. do you miss me scully? do you miss petting my fluffy hair?
-anytime one of them asks the other for a drink, mulder will bring scully iced tea, and she’ll bring him root beer. everytime he’ll throw his head back in mock disappointment like that one stakeout.
-mulder is very aware of how much it turns scully on to see him with no jacket, dress shirt arms rolled up to his elbows. thank goodness he normally runs hot.
-they both secretly love when the other rests their head on their shoulder. but of course they never admit it.
-mulder always makes them run an office secret santa. just the two of them. because hes mulder.
-his fish have all been named after moby dick characters since he heard that that was a thing.
-they went on runs together during that second year just to be able to spend time together, but then stopped because how the fucking hell is scully faster than him, im sorry scully you’re ruining my rep, im gonna have to pretend i wasn’t just beaten in a 5k run by someone nine inches shorter than me.
-mulders mother bought him a polaroid camera when he went off to england for school, saying that he’d make so many memories adn all that crap. he never used it until he and scully were put on fertilizer background checking and he wanted to make the best of their roadtrips. she then bought one of her own and thus began the most intense contest of their lives to see who could take the most candid shots of the other. at this point in time, mulder’s closet has just of boxes of pictures of scully.
-their son would find all these thousands of pictures years later and wonder, for the thousandth time that day, what the fuck was wrong with his parents.
-they once had to take a ferry. dont ask me how or why, but it was just something they had to do. and mulder refused to stop just quoting lines from moby dick. the only way that scully could get him to stop was to pretend to see a nessie like creature.
-scully dominates at paintball, and when her son hit eleven years old, became the coolest person in the world hands down. mulder didnt stop trying to convince her that she was ALWAYS the coolest person in the world.
-they have a box of mulder’s clothes that scully simply labeled “the apocalypse could be upon us but so help me if these jeans go missing, i will hunt you down and end you.” nobody touches her man’s ass hugging jeans.
-scully + hoodie + overcaffinated mulder =
[this was the last thing i wrote last night before i passed out and i have no idea where i was trying to go with it but i think its hilarious so…]
-when mulder adn scully were first picking out things for their home together, mulder came home with a light blue-purple linen comforter. he liked the color and the texture and they loved it for exactly one year until william threw up on it and they couldnt get the stain out.
-mulder has been banned from the local florist because he loitered too long trying to pick out flowers for scully, they thought it was suspicious.
-mulder then got into gardening, and was taught by skinner how to not kill a plant.
-they have a sunflower patch right outside william’s bedroom window.
-maggie knit a blanket for william that he slept wrapped up in until he was in grad school adn the stitching finally gave out.
-if they were to have another kid, the siblings would have a rapport much like mulder and samantha’s or melissa adn scully’s. they called each other buttmunch adn teased and pulled each others hair, but let each other tag along on adventures and shit.
-mulder has a frequent customer card from LUSH because his lady loves baths and he loves excuses to follow her around smelling her hair all damn day.
-theres a fair in the tiny town they live in once a year in july. they have a family tradition of going to it, and watching fireworks and going on rides. by ten o'clock, every single time, both kids would crash from the funnel cake-induced sugar high.
-the first movie william scully ever attended was the incredibles. until the age of 9 he wanted to be a superhero and mulder 100% supported him and tried to get scully to do some science experiment that would make their son into a superhero.
-they live in a tiny town where the only entertainment is either a movie theater running very old movies or the local elementary school’s talent show. theres a farmers market on the main street every weekend in the summer and the mulder-scully clan often will bike down and hang out there for the day.
-mulder and scully chaperone school dances. every single dance. if there’s a photo booth, they’ll go make out in said photo booth and embarrass their kids only slightly more than if they were slow dancing in the middle of the vacant dance floor. “cant you just be normal???? i get you waited years to get together and are 'makin up for lost time’ but you dont have to take it out on me!!!!!”
-every year they host a “sci-fi july” for all of their friends and their families. they hang a sheet up outside every saturday night in july and watch a different sci fi movie out on the projector. scully and mulder can always be found in the back of the crowd, cuddling in a beanbag and arguing about inaccuracies.
-drive in movies. mulder adn scully cuddling in the back seat of the car while their offspring block their view on the hood of it, sharing a box of fries.
-maggie dominates the bake sale. neither mulder or scully can cook for shit and so they enlist maggie and she becomes famous.
-william has been banned from playing poker. after winning far too much off of uncle frohike, he’s been demoted to crazy 8s.
-mulder has half an alien face tattooed on his lower back. since scully has a tattoo he should too right? but he could only handle the tattoo needle for so long and afterwards scully assured him that half an alien head looked plenty cool and she loved it. he didn’t really care, she’d be the only one to get to see it, but he was more fascinated about why the hell the tattoo needle turned her on originally????? wh- how-??? scully????
-uncle skinner takes his godchildren’s halloween costumes to a new level.
-the bullpen bet as to who the father of scully’s kid was (please everyone knew it was mulder, but they were just bored) was called off when scully left early one day with the most intense craving for sunflower seeds.
-the only thing that mulder knows how to cook is grilled cheese and tomato soup. you’d think toast would be easier than grilled cheese, adn therefore something he could cook, but that is not the case.
-anytime one of the kids is sick, mulder or scully stays home with them and they spend the entire day playing scrabble and eating cinnamon toast.
-an older will is completely unable to walk anywhere near the hoover building without being yelled at as “HEY SPOOKY MU- oh sorry buddy. jeez you look like your dad”.
-as they grow older, mulder and scully decide to retire from the bureau. scully will occasionally do pathology consulting or lecture circuits, but for the most part, they simply stay around their home in virginia and have the peace that they always dreamed of.
-but that said, after their retirement, the x files, for the first time, remained open, and in years to come, many agents worked their way in and out of the office, none having as much a lasting devotion to it as mulder adn scully had. the few that did last fairly long had just as much trouble with the government conspiracies as their predecessors, despite the smoking man being long dead.
and when these agents had difficulty on cases, when they were clearly lacking in bits of information only people deeply involved with the conspiracy or long-time observants would know, all of these agents made their way out into the more rural parts of virginia, to an old but warm house, and they’d sit on the porch listening to mulder and scully bicker about what was true or not, now being the deep throat contact that the x files depends on. but for the first time, these deep throats weren’t at risk of murder because the head of the fbi was their children’s godfather and god help the poor bastard who disrupted their peaceful life.
-mulder always keeps the freezer stocked with chocolate ice cream. if its not, it is treated like a national emergency.