Never Again (Older! Damian Wayne x Reader)
@eblades: “Could you do a Damian x reader where the reader has self
harm cuts on her wrists and she hides them from everyone and makes everyone
think they are ok when they aren’t at all but Damian notices that something is wrong
when he grabs her wrist and she flinches but she keeps acting like everything
Schninner: Hey squad, this got really dark somewhere along the lines, and I just wanted to tell you guys, if you are ever in this position, I just want to let you know that you have people out there that love you, and I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m always here if you ever need to talk to someone. (Also, this turned out really bad(?) so sorry in advance.)
(Reader is a girl)
Warning: Mentions of self-harm, some serious dark stuff
Word Count: 1146
“You’re okay, you’re okay, everything is just fine.”
Words were mumbled under your breathe, words meant to reassure, to comfort, only to aimlessly leave your lips. Your hands tugged at the base of your sleeves, pulling them well past the base of the palm of your hand. The rough fabric irritated the already red and swollen skin on your wrists, causing you to wince.
It hurt, it always did, but it was nothing compared to the internal turmoil that you felt on a daily basis.
“[L/N]!” A familiar voice called from behind you causing you to form the smile that was your disguise.
“They must never know.”
“Hey Dami!” Your voice dripping with cheerful and a smile stretched across your face.
He can closer to you eyeing your smile warily, matching concern in his eyes. “[L/N], is everything okay?”
You involuntarily tugged harder at your sleeves, your hands balled into fists clutching the fabric of your long sleeves. “What do you mean?” Your voice was forced into a false curiosity as you cocked your head to the side ever so slightly.
Damian’s eyebrows furrowed, you tried to hide it, but there was no way of hiding the slight quiver that trembled through your voice.
“Please, [F/N], talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.”
You pretended to check the time on your phone, “Look, I have to go, I’m going to be late,” You forced the urgency into your voice, and began to hastily walk away. You needed to go, now. Before you broke down in front of him, before you showed him how much of a mess you truly were.
“[L/N] Wait!” He grabbed your wrist, causing you to breathe in sharply from the pain and winced.
Of course, he noticed it, he was the Son of Batman after all, you would have been worried if he hadn’t. Realization flashed in his eyes as he loosened his grip on your wrist and placed a gently hand on your shoulder, guiding your trembling body toward your nearby apartment. You didn’t fight it, what would be the point of fighting it? He knew, after all this time of trying to hide it, he knew.
And you knew what was going to happen next, the unavoidable pity talk.
Where he’ll tell you that it was just a faze, that your jut some hormonal girl who was just doing this for attention, then proceed to tell you that you have no reason for doing this, for hurting yourself. It was the same conversation, same talk that you always had, but with different people. This was the reason for keeping it a secret for so long, you didn’t want to see the look of disappointment and disgust on his face, not Damian’s.
You were both silent as the elevator doors opened to your floor, and the silence remained as you walked closer to your apartment door. Damian opened the door for you, unlocking it with the key that you always kept underneath the door mat. You walked in, looking at the floor the entire time.
He shut the door, locking it behind him, then turned to you, his expression unreadable. You opened your mouth to say something, but before you could speak, his arms were wrapped around your body, his head burrowed into the crook of your neck.
You stood there for a moment, not sure how to respond to his embrace, you eventually returned his embrace, managing to wrap your smaller arms around his torso.
“When?” He simply asked, his head remaining where it was.
“For about four years now.” Your voice coming out as small and helpless.
There was silence as you both continued embracing each other.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He inquired, nearly whispering into your [H/C] hair
Tears began streaming down your face, this was… different. There was no shouting, no judgment, just concern. Pure undefiled concern for your wellbeing.
“I-I didn’t want you to th-think less of me,” You stuttered through your tears, hugging him even closer to you.
“I- I thought that if I showed you how, just, messed up, I am,” You sobs interrupted your sentence, Damian remained silent, letting you cry into his shoulder. You attempted to catch your breath before continuing, “I-if I showed you how broken I really was, y-you would leave me.”
“Tt, [F/N] that’s ridiculous,” You gently pulled away from the embrace, gingerly placing his fingers under your chin, lifting your face to his, “I could never, and would never leave you.”
He looked deeply into you [E/C] eyes with you staring right back into his. His hands slightly shaking underneath your chin, “[F/N], I-“ he hesitated his mouth forming into a slight scowl as he turned his head away from yours.
“I love you.” He finally blurted out causing your eyes to go wide in shock.
“I love you too much to see you do this to yourself,” he continued, once again coming into eye contact with you, his hand moved to your cheek, and the other on your opposite cheek, his thumbs wiping away the tears from your puffy red eyes.
“Please,” he started, his voice cracking with emotion, “please stop this.” The tears that sprang from his own eyes caused you to stare at him in disbelief.
“Promise me that you’ll never do this, never again.” His voice filled with remorse and care caused your heart to leap out to him, all you wanted to do was to stop those beautiful eyes of his from crying anymore, you wanted, needed, to see him smile, to hear his laugh; but you also needed to be realistic.
“I’m sorry Damian, but I don’t know if I can,” you replied, you glanced downward at your feet, not able to look at him in the eye.
The silence was und=bearable. You were expecting him to leave, to slam the door in your face, and leave you to cry to yourself.
But he stayed right there.
With his hands placed on either side of your face, his green eyes staring intensely at you as tears continued to stream down.
“We’ll make a deal then,” He stated, clearing his throat from any potential sob, “Anytime you feel like your going to cut, or harm yourself, you call me.”
You directed your eyes back to his, seeing the earnest and genuine compassion in them.
“It doesn’t matter when or where, I will be here.” He let go of your face and stuck a hand out for you to shake. “Deal?”
You looked at his face, then to his outstretched hand. In one fluid and sudden motion, you had nearly leapt into his arms, hugging tightly as new joyful tears came tumbling down your cheeks. You held his close to you, a small smile forming on your lips.
“Deal.” You whispered into his broad chest as he hugged you back.