sorry if this is taking space on your dash


click each pic for better resolution! ;;

a while ago I exchanged headcanons with pseudocitrus, if you’re interested (or wanna know) /where did this crackship come from/ then I suggest you to read silhouette

credits for the dialogues used in this comic –most of them– go for her!

I wrote a thing. My first thing.

I sat on this for 3 days because I was afraid to post. Too many brilliant writers around here, and I am definitely out of my comfort zone. Anyway, super awesome @callmeder reviewed it for me - all the thanks! - and I finally decided to put on my big girl panties and post it.

Also - I don’t know how to put this under a cut, so, sorry if it takes up a lot of space on your dash.

*hiding* *I’ll be back later*

Master Fanfic List

My Sassenach

Sam wasn’t particularly looking forward to his day. He’d flown in from London last night for another round of screen tests.  He’d already tested with what felt like hundreds of actresses, although he knew in reality the number was only a few dozen.  Dozens of young women with whom he’d read, acting out the fight by the river, the scene on the horse (he was bloody tired of falling off of that thing) and finally, kissing.

“Don’t fool yourself,” he thought ruefully, “the kissing wasn’t so bad.”

He had actually taken a class in ‘intimate scenes’ back in school, and had plenty of experience with the look, the touch, the slightly opened lips, the kiss, the final, searing gaze. He was good at it, and he knew it. He had kissed plenty, men and women, in the name of work before.  Actors would tell you during interviews that it was awkward, embarrassing, unfortunate work, but he knew them for the liars they were. Kissing was fun, no matter the circumstances, and he relished the job. And to kiss a bevy of beautiful actresses in the name of work? He wasn’t daft enough to complain. The problem here was that Claire was proving to be elusive.  

After landing what appeared to be a dream role – the chance of a lifetime, really, playing the male lead in a rather large undertaking – it all seemed to be going nowhere as the ever diminishing supply of relevant actresses failed to be right for ‘Claire.’ Granted, he was in LA, where they would never, ever run out of actresses, but Claire had specific requirements, and Ron Moore wasn’t going to settle for anyone less than perfect to be his lead. Sam had given up believing that this perfect embodiment of Claire could possibly exist, in LA or London. So, he’d woken up this morning with a bit of a damper on his usually exuberant spirits. Still, needs must, and he worked through his morning routine, exercising, showering, meeting with his agent and manager, catching up with friends for lunch and finally, arriving at the studios for the screen tests.

He’d arrived in plenty of time to meet with the casting director, look over the headshots of the women he was to test with and review his lines, just to be sure. Sam took every aspect of his job seriously; he refused to be unprepared for a test, no matter how many he had to do or how tired he was of doing them. Today’s testing was scheduled to take all afternoon, and he would be working with six new women. He glanced briefly through their bios, but his dampened spirits prevented him from really paying attention. He knew that at the end of the day they probably still wouldn’t have a Claire, and he would be tired, emotionally drained and, if he was being honest with himself, aroused from the close proximity of pliable female flesh, pressed close to him, soft lips at the ready.

It certainly wasn’t the arousal of attraction to a specific individual, but Sam was young, healthy, physically active and most certainly susceptible to the pleasures of the fairer sex. He was also a man of honor, not prone to sleep around just because he could. Oh, sure, he’d had his time playing the field. He was undeniably attractive. Even his genuinely humble nature couldn’t pretend otherwise, and he knew exactly how to use his charms to devastating effect, making nearly any woman he desired putty in his hands. It was just that these dalliances, while physically rewarding, did nothing for his emotional core. He was old enough now to want more from his relationships with women, and found casual hookups far less gratifying than they used to be. So while he knew he could most likely make arrangements to go home with at least one of today’s actresses, he couldn’t bring himself to want that. He sighed deeply, knowing already what that meant: a good, sweaty two-hour workout at the hotel gym later tonight and if that didn’t work, a long, steamy shower where he could release the physical tensions of the day.

It wasn’t that Sam was a prude, or opposed to casual sex. It was just that since his last relationship ended, he was unsatisfied with the idea. He felt restless, as if he were searching for something. He knew that in reality, he was searching for someone. Someone to share this new adventure with. He’d spent a number of years travelling all over Europe and the U.S., working at theaters here and there, and was happy with his nomadic life. But now, who knew? Maybe it was the unrelenting search for the perfect Claire that put him in mind of finding the perfect companion to share what was sure to prove a more stable life in Scotland.

The first test was scheduled to start in ten minutes, and he owed it to the young woman not to begin in this agitated state of mind. He excused himself from the room where he had absentmindedly been chatting with the casting director, a few producers and some other staff. In the bathroom, he splashed his face with cold water and stared at his reflection. “Oh, God,” he practically prayed, “please let us find her today.” And then, “get it together, Heughan.” He took a bracing gulp of whisky from the flask in his jacket pocket and returned to the room.

It was obvious from the moment the first actress opened her mouth that she wasn’t Claire, but Sam gave  100%, helping her get through the test and wishing her well at the end. His mood did not improve. The next few tests were passable, and one seemed almost promising but he didn’t have high hopes for her. He figured he’d see her again in a few days for a second test, and made a mental note to have his manager reschedule his flight back to London.

It was getting on in the afternoon, and he was looking forward to his last screen test, only because that meant he was about an hour away from going back to his hotel. In the restroom, he brushed his teeth for the last time (he was meticulous about oral hygiene when it came to these sorts of things) and reapplied his cherry lip balm, mentally readying himself for another round of fighting, loving and leading the scenes. When he returned to the room, he was informed that the final candidate of the day had phoned to say she was stuck in traffic and would be late. He silently cursed, but put on a brave face, pulled out his phone and settled down to entertain himself on Twitter until the poor soul should arrive. God knew he’d hate to be late to a screen test.

After about 30 minutes, he excused himself and wandered down to the lobby, feeling the need to get out of that room and breathe some fresh air. He was pacing around the lobby like a caged animal when suddenly he felt…odd. Turning around, he saw the most beautiful face. Momentarily flustered, he stared with his mouth slightly agape. The beautiful face coalesced into a full person, and Sam came to the realization that she was speaking. To him. He should do something. He knew that much, but this odd feeling…well, he seemed to be at a loss. He floundered, lost in her face. Suddenly his brain caught hold of words, and then managed to string them into a sentence.

“Hi!” this beautiful vision was saying, “I’m Caitriona. You must be Sam. I recognize you from your headshot. They sent it over with the script and the rest of the paperwork. It’s nice to meet you. I’m so sorry to be late. It’s horrible, I know, but I just couldn’t…”

Sam dimly realized that she was babbling, nervous words pouring out of her mouth in reaction to her anxiety. Ever the gentleman, Sam’s instincts took over and he reached out and took her hand. Not to shake it in greeting, but merely to hold it, comfortingly, his thumb unconsciously caressing the soft skin at her wrist.  He cleared his throat, shook off his confusion and spoke.

“Hello, Caitriona! Yes, I’m Sam. Don’t worry about being late, it happens.”

He still felt unaccountably odd, and covered his own confusion by determinedly soothing this lovely creature. They chatted for a few minutes, and Sam, regaining his composure, was able to deploy his considerable charm to great effect. Before long, Caitriona was smiling and laughing, perfectly at ease. Sam was delighted to see her relax, and spared a moment’s wonder that he should be so…enchanted? Really? Was that really the word? But it was. From the moment he felt her presence in the lobby, he had been unaccountably enchanted with her.

Sam walked her to the room where the Very Important People were waiting and busied himself with his phone while they made introductions and conducted the necessary small talk. Finally, the time had come and the screen test was ready to begin.

The test had an unmistakably rough start. Caitriona was obviously nervous and unsure, and Sam felt the anxiety of it in the pit of his stomach. Why was it so important to him that this woman do well? He didn’t have the answer, but knew without doubt that he must give her everything he had. As they worked through the scenes, Sam saw Caitriona’s confidence grow, until he became aware that she, not he, was subtly leading the scene. He followed where she led, and by the time they were fighting at the river, Sam was lost in the moment. They were positively tearing into each other. Sam had her in a bear hug, she was fighting him off. He saw real anger in her eyes. Was she going to hit him? God, he hoped so! All of his senses were tingling. He felt alight, sizzling with the magnetism in the air. This is what he loved about acting. Getting in deep, putting it all out there and leaving caution behind. Clearly this Caitriona knew her stuff, and didn’t feel the need to hold back. They worked through the lines, repeating a few things at the direction of the producers, relishing the moment.  

Sam was so lost in the joy of it, he hadn’t paid attention to where they were. He knew the scenes and could do them in his sleep. So, it was a bit of a shock to him when he found himself stilled, quiet, projecting longing, love and lust from his beautifully expressive eyes. Caitriona was still, as well, standing close to him, leaning into him, so that he could feel her warmth, smell her heady scent. Her hair was softly brushing his jawline and he could feel her breasts just skimming across his chest. Holy Lord, he could feel her nipples, hard under her dress. Was the woman even wearing a bra? Why was he thinking about this?

“Focus, Sam. You have work to do. Get on with it, now.”

Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. Her breasts pressed up against his chest, and he felt her arch her hips into him. He pulled back just a fraction, enough to gaze into her eyes, dark and bottomless. The electricity was snapping between them and he couldn’t tell if she was acting or if she really wanted to kiss him. Hell, he couldn’t tell if he was acting. All he knew was that he was going to kiss this woman. Caitriona or Claire, it didn’t matter. He needed his mouth on hers, and so, he began. Slowly, gently, just grazing her lips with his own, feeling the softness, the damp, tender willingness of her mouth, open to his. He touched her upper lip with his tongue and she started, grabbing the back of his neck tightly, bringing his mouth more firmly into contact with her own, now opened fully to him.  

They kissed, lost in the dizzy swirl of tongues dancing, sharing breath, swallowing small sounds of pleasure. The kiss reached its crescendo, an intoxicating mix of sweetness and lust until slowly, deliberately, they brought it down, easing the dance, stilling the need, lips hovering once again, just brushing against each other. He could feel her breath, feel her heart pounding in her chest, matching the pounding of his own heart, blood thrumming in his ears. He opened his eyes to find hers already on him. They stared deeply into one another for a long moment, breathing, calming, centering, still pressed firmly together.

Sam’s senses came back in full and he finished the scene, releasing her reluctantly. He could still feel his hands in her hair, her thighs soft against his own hard, muscled legs, the smallness of her waist, the fullness of her breasts and he was off again imagining her long legs curling around his hips…

‘STOP!’ he yelled internally. He didn’t know if he was yelling at himself or her, but he had to get it together. Caitriona was standing still, arms at her sides, breathing deeply, waiting. The room was quiet. Hushed. Electric. It was just a moment too long before one of the producers spoke, thanking Caitriona for her time. Telling her they’d be in touch. Confirming all the information they’d already confirmed. She turned to Sam, thanked him, offered him her hand. He took it automatically, shaking it this time, like the professional he was, wishing her well, saying that he hoped to see her again soon, wondering if she was attached. And then she was leaving. Coat and papers in hand, she was walking out the door. Sam stared after her in disbelief, feeling oddly bereft.

The kiss was still with him as he wrapped up for the day and headed back to the hotel. Still with him at dinner, at the gym, in the shower and undeniably still with him as he tried to focus on his nightly binge of Friday Night Lights. It was pointless to keep trying to watch, so shutting off his show, he opened Google and decided it was time to do some research.

He had no idea who this Caitriona Balfe person was, but of one thing he was sure; she was going to be his Sassenach.


So let’s see here we’ve got:

  • an Operator symbol sticker, THAC sticker, Badmitten sticker and Dogdog and Friend Explore Space sticker from Troy’s Redbubble, all resting comfortably on my laptop
  • the poster from the Kickstarter
  • 2 THAC posters, plus one more on my wall that I didn’t feel like taking down, signed by all 4 THACsters
  • the NEW new THAC poster by reactionchick, also signed by all the THACboyzzz
  • all 3 seasons of DVDs (the first two seasons are the old versions, signed by THACnerds and also Doug Jones) + the boxset + the blu-ray + another of the ver1 S1 DVD (??? why do I have an extra??) all signed by THACbros
  • 1 THAC sticker, 1 Blub Blub sticker from Troy’s Redbubble, 1 Kickstarter MH sticker, 1 Operator symbol sticker, 2 Levitating Dog Torso stickers (why do I have 2? good question, I don’t even know), 2 Shreddin Shads stickers, 2 DogDog stickers, 2 THACnerds stickers
  • 1 RTX-CLUSIVE Ready Set Go pin (I don’t know if the guy that made those is on tumblr, but YOU ARE MY HERO) and 1 THAC pin
  • 2 parking passes from THE season 2 hotel (one from MarbleMeet in June 2014, one from the journey back from MTAC in April 2015)
  • a Masky mask and a Skully mask, signed by the abovementioned THACdudes
  • Alex, Jay, and Tim paper children from hidethethirdproxy
  • Troy’s character sheet from Celebrity D&D at MTAC this year
  • THE TAPES from the distortion hole some more burned/broken than others. The one that still sort-of worked is signed by those THACnerds. 

And last but not least,

  • 3 tickets from the real-life park containing the red tower/gazebo and whatnot (one from October 2014, one from December 2014 (when I got the tapes), and one from April 2015)
  • the rarest of Pepes an Operator sticker from Austin Comic Con in November 2013, aka the reason I refuse to get a new phone case
  • AND (not pictured because I forgot) a THAC business card from RTX with “disappoint your parents” written on the back by Tim because of course.