If you dye your hair, your soulmate’s hair color changes as well and you swear the moment you see your soulmate you will choke them because you just woke up with your hair colored like a rainbow and it’s your first job interview at a prestigious company what the fuck.
A/N: This is not beta read, so sorry if there are any mistakes. (Title from the Bob Dylan song Tangled Up In Blue, though it doesn’t really relate to the fic (just thought it fit as a title). Also I’m a photoshop n00b so sorry for the crappy hair edits.)
The first time it happened was when Dan was eight. At that age he only knew of one other person that it had happened to before, she had been lucky though as her hair colour had changed to a sensible colour, he however hadn’t been so lucky. One day he had woken up with bright yellow hair! His parents had gasped when he walked into the kitchen that morning.
It’s been a brutal winter/cold season. I haven’t shaved my legs since November. Ain’t no body got time to wear cute dresses and shorts when it’s that cold out. No one’s gonna see my legs.
It’s nearly the end of March and I finally let myself shave my legs.
What began to bother me was the fact that as I walked around in shorts within the warming comfort of my own home, I could feel the air weave in and out and between the hairs on my legs.
But what really pushed me to shave was that my bare hairy leg brushed against a rogue spider web I didn’t see as I moved through the basement to grab something.
It clung to my leg hair for dear life and had I not been wearing slippers because my basement is cold, I would not have been able to fend off the spider that was coming right for my ass because I had disturbed it’s web.
That was it.
That was the last straw.
I finally shaved.
And now I’m laying in bed where it’s safe and warm™ beneath my blankets and I’m rubbing my legs together.
I don’t think my legs have ever been this smooth. Like, if someone could have a dissociation with their legs, this is it. Because they’re so smooth they don’t even feel like they’re even my legs.
okay look sometimes I’m like ‘oh but haha those stereotypes of Australia being dangerous are just stereotypes’ but then I was just making some bullshit Maggi two minute noodles (don’t judge me) and I walked away for like two minutes and a redback spider fell through the exhaust vent above our stove and boiled to death in my two minute noodles so now I have to throw it all out and start again goddamnit I’m just so hungry and I want to eat without spiders in my food is that too much to ask god is it really???