uh, so recently, i decided to come out to my mom that i was asexual and she sat there staring at me for a solid eight minutes or more .. who knows, but she seemed so disappointed and she said 'what did i do wrong? it's my fault isn't it?' and i have trouble believing that she meant to upset me, but she really did? and idk, it's been hurting me for the last few days nd i just?? dont know what to do? ( this is so negative, wow im sorry )
(pls don’t feel the need to apologize)
I’m so sorry it didn’t go as you hoped, anon. While your probably right that your mom didn’t mean to upset you, that doesn’t eliminate the pain she did cause. Idk how you told her/what you told her, exactly, but maybe her response is rooted in a misunderstanding of what asexuality is, and perhaps if you explained to her why her response hurt and more about your sexual orientation, she would respond in a way closer to what you’d hoped for.
Otherwise, please know that your feelings and identity are valid, no matter what anyone, even your mom, says. Being asexual is perfectly fine and no one’s fault and they’re a plenty of people who support you and accept you.
Most of us guessed that Navy would end up betraying everyone by the end of the episode.
I don’t think most of us expected that having her go from this:
would be really good for Lapis’ mental health.
And despite certain people’s fears about certain story boarders… this was actually very much in character for her. I think it’s pretty safe to assume that Lapis has always been cynical, even in her pre mirror days. After she escaped she went from cynical to detached and apathetic. Not an unexpected defense mechanism for someone who was trapped in an inanimate object for 6,000 years. But she has made progress. She trusts Steven and Peridot. Enough not only to express her concerns, but to essentially make a confession.
Life on Earth is really confusing. It took me a long time to get use to it. I’m still getting use to it.
Given everything that’s happened to her on Earth, it’s only natural that she’s having a hard time adjusting. But she’s just confessed her biggest insecurity: she knows she’s having a hard time dealing with what she’s been through, while having to get use to to living a normal life on the planet where her greatest traumas happened. Before the rebellion she would have done her job and left for the next planet, Earth having been a distant memory by this time. But now she can never leave. Earth has to become home.
She wants to move on, but feels guilty about how difficult actually doing that is.
So here comes this I-Insta-Love-All-Things-Earth ruby, who seems freakishly well adjusted from the moment she crashes face first into the planet. Never mind that she was lied to not once, but twice, by the crystal gems. Never mind that she was blasted out into space and abandoned while they stole her ship. All is instantly forgiven and she just wants to be a part of their happy family.
Worse yet? The people Lapis cares most about just buy it. They go right along with it as though Navy’s behavior is perfectly normal. It took time for Lapis to even begin to be okay with the idea of living in Earth and forgiving the crystal gems- she’s still working on it, and it’s painful. She’s worked so hard for every inch of progress she’s made, and here’s someone who’s seemingly able to move on the same day they got to Earth.
I just don’t get it. Why is it so easy for her when it was so hard for me?
So when the perfectly well adjusted Navy turned out to be a gleeful sociopath gleefully hell bent on revenge, everything fell into place.
Navy’s sudden but inevitable betrayal was the best thing to happen for Lapis’ mental health to date.
So what’s the take away from this? 1) People react differently to trauma. 2) Just because someone seems well adjusted doesn’t mean they are. 3) It’s okay to take a long time to heal from your traumas. It’s okay for it to be a constant work in progress. It’s okay not to be okay.
And at the end of the day, that realization can almost feel like happiness.