sorry if these are wrong

deep, rooted fear

Aries: powerlessness, losing a sense of their own self, never achieving their goal, losing their  flame, being seen/described as incapable and being underestimated, life being dull, plain and grey - and they are a part of it

Taurus: losing what is most important to them (materialistic/security/loved ones), never being able to expand themselves and being stuck on something they don’t want/think they don’t deserve, not reaching a higher level and worries A LOT about the future and how it might look like 

Gemini: being ‘caged’ in their own mind, being seen as stupid or of unsound mind, having no real connection to anything and anyone, being scattered and all over the place (internal), being judged for their words/intellect

Cancer: the future, never forgetting past trauma/overcoming sadness, not being able to let go, being used, showing their soft side, showing their real selves and coming out of their shell, having no home

Leo: being exposed to every flaw and insecurety they have, never being able to shine and show their true self, being lost, having no energy/optimism to go on, trusting the wrong ones too easily, not having the life they always wanted/admired

Virgo: being a failure to themselves and anyone else, losing control over their life, not being able to go on anymore, paranoia of everything that could go wrong, exposing themselves too early/easily

Libra: never finding the one, feeling no fulfillment deep within, feeling like a ghost/having no real face, not being satisfied themselves,giving too much, being hurt/forgotten, being completely alone

Scorpio: being hurt/exposed, letting the wrong ones in, (past) trauma, never healing scars, love (loving oneself and being loved), opening up, becoming the demon and the demons of the world/life, losing

Sagittarius: being trapped and caged, never being able to feel life, being exposed to their feelings and showing their caring/loving side, never being able to win (due to running away from their problems), never being truly content

Capricorn: being stuck on lower grounds, always losing, never winning, their hard built up reputation being shattered, losing what’s most important for them, inner conflicts and hidden emotions - not being able to express them and compensate for it, 

Aquarius: being the madman and not the genius they wish to be, being lost in the world, an inner standstill, having no one by their side, being alone, being judged for what they are inside, not knowing the answer/being completely hopeless

Pisces: never being able to truly love/be loved, being lost in their own mind/trauma, afraid of being hurt and used, an inner trance that they can not escape, a martyrer that is shamelessly sacrificed and will never be recognized, no understanding for their view/opinions

Most of us guessed that Navy would end up betraying everyone by the end of the episode. 

I don’t think most of us expected that having her go from this:

to this:

would be really good for Lapis’ mental health.

And despite certain people’s fears about certain story boarders… this was actually very much in character for her. I think it’s pretty safe to assume that Lapis has always been cynical, even in her pre mirror days. After she escaped she went from cynical to detached and apathetic. Not an unexpected defense mechanism for someone who was trapped in an inanimate object for 6,000 years. But she has made progress. She trusts Steven and Peridot. Enough not only to express her concerns, but to essentially make a confession.

Life on Earth is really confusing. It took me a long time to get use to it. I’m still getting use to it.

Given everything that’s happened to her on Earth, it’s only natural that she’s having a hard time adjusting. But she’s just confessed her biggest insecurity: she knows she’s having a hard time dealing with what she’s been through, while having to get use to to living a normal life on the planet where her greatest traumas happened. Before the rebellion she would have done her job and left for the next planet, Earth having been a distant memory by this time. But now she can never leave. Earth has to become home. 

She wants to move on, but feels guilty about how difficult actually doing that is.

So here comes this I-Insta-Love-All-Things-Earth ruby, who seems freakishly well adjusted from the moment she crashes face first into the planet. Never mind that she was lied to not once, but twice, by the crystal gems. Never mind that she was blasted out into space and abandoned while they stole her ship. All is instantly forgiven and she just wants to be a part of their happy family.

Worse yet? The people Lapis cares most about just buy it. They go right along with it as though Navy’s behavior is perfectly normal. It took time for Lapis to even begin to be okay with the idea of living in Earth and forgiving the crystal gems- she’s still working on it, and it’s painful. She’s worked so hard for every inch of progress she’s made, and here’s someone who’s seemingly able to move on the same day they got to Earth.

I just don’t get it. Why is it so easy for her when it was so hard for me? 

So when the perfectly well adjusted Navy turned out to be a gleeful sociopath  gleefully hell bent on revenge, everything fell into place.

Navy’s sudden but inevitable betrayal was the best thing to happen for Lapis’ mental health to date.

So what’s the take away from this? 1) People react differently to trauma. 2) Just because someone seems well adjusted doesn’t mean they are. 3) It’s okay to take a long time to heal from your traumas. It’s okay for it to be a constant work in progress. It’s okay not to be okay. 

And at the end of the day, that realization can almost feel like happiness. 

I drew phil but

it needs improvements

perfect.

7

monsta x members + name meanings