sorry if its too long for you

Leaving you

Summary : you have some bad thoughts and doubts about yourself and your relationship
Pairing: bucky x reader
Warnings: sad shit, crying a lot, angst, tiny bit of fluff, happy end, mentions of a nightmare
Words: 1127
A/n: I wrote this in like 20 minutes so sorry if its really bad but I just wanted to share that.
Also don’t judge me for this I kinda feel like this is something personal?? Idk


Its been going on for so long now that you can’t even remember when it started anymore. It must have had a reason. Or maybe not.
You couldn’t tell. This feeling was so stupid. You shouldn’t feel like this, you know this feeling is just imagination and not true but what are you supposed to do ?
You can’t fight it anymore. You can’t fight your heart anymore.
Its too hard.
And it breaks you.
It was a dumb desire. A need to make things better. But you couldn’t .

You just didn’t feel like yourself anymore.
It was not so easy to be described but you just couldn’t fight against it anymore.

It was so hard. And so exhausting.
So why not leave ? Take your bags and leave.

That’s what you thought. Over and over again.
It’s been your inner conflict in so many sleepless nights in which you suffered from all these pessimistic thoughts while the person next to you didn’t even have a clue of what was going on.

You often just stayed awake looking at the ceiling for hours deep in thoughts until you finally caught your braveness and looked down to him.
And there he was laying next to you with his hands around you , breathing slow and steady.
And in these moments you found yourself smiling.
Smiling at the pure sensation of what seemed to be luck .
Smiling at the warm feeling making its way through your chest.
But then again you weren’t fair. And you weren’t honest in any way.
And you found your self averting your eyes from bucky back to the ceiling again because you couldn’t bare to look at him anymore.

In your head you replayed all the memories and you silently cursed because you knew you couldn’t safe this.
This relationship was about to fall down.

You were scared to lose everything you’ve ever known but it was just too much.
Too overwhelming.
Maybe love was just not the right thing for you.
Maybe you weren’t meant to love.
Maybe love wasn’t meant for you.

This situation had too many mistakes and you knew you couldn’t safe this love. You couldn’t safe this relationship.
You just didn’t feel good enough anymore.
You didn’t feel like this was the way it used to be, a happy genuine relationship that was based on love.
Of course you loved bucky.
But Bucky. You didn’t know if he loved you anymore.
And that was too much for you.
The thoughts of being not enough.
And there wasn’t really anything you could do.
You tried being better. You tried pleasing everyone but you couldn’t do it anymore. You couldn’t pretend to be something you are not, anymore.
It was just too hard.
A tear ran down your eye as you slowly close your eyes, preparing to be weak. For only a minute. A second.
Not longer.
But then the left bedside began to shake and it felt like something familiar.
Something horrible and as you laid your eyes on bucky you saw him frowning deeply as he whispered something.

And for a moment you debated. You debated with yourself.
Should you just leave him in this nightmare.
Let him feel the sadness and the lag of hope you’ve felt these past weeks ?
And for a minute you just laid there watching as he struggled, not even attempting to soothe him at least a bit.
And then you thought ‘what are you doing ?’ And you didn’t know. ‘What is wrong with you?’ You thought and you didn’t know.
The tears fell from your eyes. Tears caused by your own cruelty.
You still loved him and you watched him suffer just like that.
And you cried even more as you slowly realized what you did.

And you cried.
You cried as you shook his shoulder, you cried as you spoke to him.
And then finally, he stirred awake. And with the shock written on his face he jumped up.
Sitting on the bed he buried his head in his hands crying silently and you sat behind him, watching his back as it shook with quiet sobs.

You felt your hand reaching out to him, wanting to feel him.
Make sure he was okay.
And as you touched him he tensed, and his head snapped around to look at you with wide eyes and then even more tears fell from his eyes as he quickly hugged you tight against his chest.

He cried into your shoulder and you cried with him. Because it felt like it was one of the last times that you were embraced by his warm arms.

He pulled you tighter and tighter , rocking back and forth and it was so heartbreaking and so saddening.
But these moments, in which you felt needed and important were rare.

You just felt unappreciated, unimportant and not good enough.
Not good enough.
Not good enough.
Not good enough.
A disappointment.

“I dreamed that you left me” he mumbled against your neck in a shaky breath, pulling you even tighter in fear you’d do what he said.
In fear of loosing you.

“It felt so real” he whispered, followed by tears and you sat in his arms, motionless and speechless.

This was exactly what you had thought about in all these days.
All these weeks you just felt like grabbing your bag and leaving without another word because it was the only thing left for you to do.
The only thing that was right.
Because you weren’t enough.

And here you saw it, what it would do to him if you left.
He was desperate.
And frustrated.

And without your permission your hands found their way around his back, running up and down soothingly as you Nuzzled your head to his neck, breathing in his sent.


You hesitated for a moment, just blankly staring against the wall.
It broke is heart and yours.
But did you really want this ?
Do you really want to stay ?

And in your heads the words of all your former loves replayed ‘someone will love you’ 'someone will love you’ 'someone will love you’.
And then suddenly you knew, that someone was bucky.
Bucky was the one to give you his everything.

And then suddenly you knew you were appreciated and you were loved.
You are wanted and you’re needed.
And now you felt so dumb.
So dumb for even feeling differently. For almost destroying what you always wanted.
For almost breaking two hearts at a time.

You squeezed him tighter as your eyes shut, with tears falling from them as you mumbled against his neck with all the honesty that was left in your tired body.
“I will never leave you.”

@learisa @melconnor2007 @kenobi-and-barnes @momentofpeaceandbeauty @yellowtheremarvelfan @sebbylover24 @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @mytrueself @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @basicwhiskeyprincesss @olicia-leeshy @marvelbase001 @smol-flower-kiddo @socially-unacceptable-h0e .

anonymous asked:

Would you ever post pictures of all of your tattoos in a masterpost?

sorry it took me SOOO long to answer this!!! these are not aaaaaall of them i have a bad luck 13 cat on my back, another angel on my arm and a devil on my other arm but its most of them !!! im too lazy to take pics of those but rn but u can see them in photos of me haha xoxo 

Breaking In (Blackpink)

Pairing: Jennie x Lisa

Genre: fluff (??)

Note: I’m so sorry it took too long and its so short! I just wanted to make it clear that i didnt specify if they’re a couple or not, but i think it can fit in both ways. It goes from you. Anyway, i hope you like it. x.


Originally posted by lalisani


“Okay, when we get in we have to be quick and discreet.” Jennie said pulling down a bag full of work tools. “Don’t get lost from me.”

“I don’t know, Jennie yah, I love you and all but I don’t want to get arrested because of you.”

“We won’t get arrested.” Jennie said cutting some chains with pliers, “We won’t steal anything, we’ll just… see how pretty the night city look from the roof.” She smiled at Lisa when she finally opened the door.

They got in and Lisa quickly locked arms with Jennie so she won’t lose her. The store were really dark and the only thing that was helping them to see was a small flashlight Jennie has bought. ‘She always thinks of everything’ Lisa thought.

After some time wondering inside the store, they’ve found a big flight of stairs, heading to the roof. They smiled at each other and went all the way up the stairs. 
Lisa was the first one to get up in the roof. She walked closer to the edge and sat on the floor, followed by Jennie.

“Wow.” It is beautiful in here. “Lisa said mesmerized with the way Seoul city lights looked at night. It was a sea of lights, of all colors; Some were bigger than others and some were brighter than others. The muffled sound of cars and people was the only thing they heard. “It’s so peaceful.”

“I told you.” Jennie looked over at Lisa and seeing that she was shaking, she opened her arms to her, “Come, I told you to bring a coat, it’s cold.” Lisa crawled to Jennie and rested her head on her shoulder while Jennie hugged her.

They stood like that for some moments until they heard noises down in the store, “Shit, what was that?” Lisa asked, getting up and helping Jennie get up.

“I think it’s the security guards.” Jennie got her bag from the floor and Lisa froze. “Guards? Why didn’t you tell me there where guards?”

“I don’t know I thought they were off today.” Jennie grabbed Lisa by the hand and they started coming down the stairs, making absolutely no noise.

They opened the stairs door carefully and noticed that the store lights were on. As they were walking towards the front of the store, they’ve heard a male voice screaming at them.

They started to run as fast as they could. When they were about to walk through the door, they saw two big guys running after them, making them almost stumble on each other. They got out of the store and managed to escape from the securities. Luckily, Lisa had parked the car close to the store where they had breaked in.

“Get in the car!” Jennie threw the bag inside their flashy pink car, getting in right after.

As Jennie were getting inside the car, one of the securities of the place ran over to them, making Lisa desperately step on the accelerator, almost hitting the dumb security guard and making him fall on the floor.

Jennie looked out of the window and saw the three security guards standing at the front of the store, watching them get away.

“Suckers!” Jennie screamed at them, making Lisa laugh at her and pull her to back in the car.

“Apart from the fact that we almost got caught, that was amazing.” Lisa looked at Jennie and then turned her attention back to the car. “It was fun, we should do that more often.

"Yeah we should. The girls won’t believe it.”

10

tag meme: name ten favorite characters from ten different fandoms.

sometimes a Family is just one dad-joking Suit with a robotic arm, a secretly-soft ageless pilot with a dark past, two tiny traumatised scientists in love, and a self-sacrificing beautiful superheroine with no chill.

2

He can’t be edgy all the time though, right..? 

10

Saeyoung: Ohhhh, Saeran! I’m so happy! Thank you thank you thank you!!

Saeran: Yeah…you too. Happy birthday…idiot.

Saeyoung: Hey, let’s take a selfie with your new phone! Get over here!

Saeran: *sighs* Alright.

Saeyoung: Smile!

Saeyoung: This has been the best birthday EVER!! Thank you, Saeran…

6

I’m sorry, Mob, but whatever happened… You’re probably the only one who can fix it.

random quotes from Super Best Friends play Final Fantasy XV

“I want him to just pick this thing [Carbuncle] up and eat it.”

“I remember that first trailer back when I was nine. This game took 85 years to come out.”

“Noctis looks like such an asshole I can’t stand it.”

In game: Find out what Gladiolus is weak to and let him have it.
Matt: “He’s weak to insults about his performance in the bedroom.”

“Prompto is the most boyband of them all.”

“When Noctis’s Papa Roach CD is done, the game is over.”

Patt: “I will rescue you buddy.” *revives Prompto*
Matt: “I rescued you with my magical boy hands.”
Patt: “My magical boy hands for my magical boy bands.”

“When teaming up with your buddies nobody can stop the amount of dicks you draw on each others faces.”

*seeing Ifrit in the first cutscene*
Patt: “The fact that it’s a perfect naked man that will not leave his chair–”
Matt: “I feel like at the end of my life that’s what I’ll be fighting. And I will fail.”

*imitating Regis* “So your boybands doing shit huh, what, you’re gonna go on tour?”

“Gladio can you please button up your shirt it’s distracting everyone.”

“Gladiolus looks like he’s from The Bouncer. In fact he might be from The Bouncer for all we know.”

“Gladiolus and Ignis look like that one guy from The Bouncer in the cactaur outfit put into two people.”

*Matt, imitating Regis again* “Remember Noctis, every moment you live is a disappointment for me.”

“And please… do something about your hair. It’s a constant embarrassment.”

*Patt, now imitating Regis* “You look like such an asshole, but, you’re my asshole.”

“It would really suck if he was doing the deed with Lunafreya, and he yells out some other dumb girls name in the Final Fantasy universe. Like ‘Oh! Yunalesca!’ and she’s like ‘Who the fuck is Yunalesca?’ ”

Matt: “Push the fucking car losers!”
Patt: “Push the car, and make sure that Gladio’s butt is the one that’s really in center there.”

“Why is Prompto always on the floor?”

“Wait, I don’t wanna play as Gladiolo– Gladiyolo, god–”

*after seeing Noctis summon his weapons* “No wonder she’s getting married, she probably saw that and went ‘Yes!’ ”

*sees Ignis walk off in the background* *Matt bursts into laughter* “Ignis is just like ‘fuck it I’m out of here!’.”

“I’m seeing photos people are posting of these guys taking selfies with themselves walking around in the background.”

Patt: “I just did a backflip slash for no reason, other than I think Noctis thought it was cool.”
Matt: “Well it’s because he knew Prompto was watching.”

“That should be the Logo of our channel – stop bitching, start killing.”

*Prompto starts singing the FF victory tune* “AHH!!– AH YEAH! ALL RIGHT, YOU WON ME OVER!”

*Ignis explains the Crownsguard attire* Patt: “Oh, so that’s why. They’re forced to dress boyband.”
Matt: “Or forced to dress like they just raided a Hot Topic.”
Patt: “It’s the law… So the King, that King? [Regis] Was like ‘everyone has to dress like this in my army’.”
Matt: “Okay, you know what? Fair enough. I never realize that.”
Patt: “That King is the weirdest old man in the world.”

*imitating Regis* “I want all the hot boys to dress in leather in my army.”

“Cindy, and one of these guys, I wanna help that along.”

Matt: “You know what this place [Hammerhead] needs!? It need one of those big inflatable floaty guys!”
Patt: “And it should be a cactaur.”
Matt: “Yeah! OH!! That makes me so excited!”
Patt: “There might be in here, who knows?”

“Why aren’t your lips moving Ignis?”

anonymous asked:

Mary Watson as a character absolutely ruined BBC Sherlock. I hope one day you may read the books of ACD and truly appreciate the characters of Holmes and Watson. I have no intention of being rude, but am just baffled how anyone can so misinterpret two of literatures most loved characters.

{{Mary Watson as a character absolutely ruined BBC Sherlock.}}

Such a shame that you think that a great and interesting woman character ruined your interpretation of Sherlock. Even with yer preconceived notion that Sherlock and Watson were gay and in love, I think you could have still enjoyed MG and SM version of Mary Watson. Mary brought love into John’s life and made him happy when he was sadly mourning Sherlock’s death. She gave him a beautiful daughter and most importantly, she became best friends with Sherlock too.

That is the most important part because up until then, Sherlock was the only close and trusted friend that John had (yes Stamford was his friend too but not on the scale of what Sherlock became to John) Mary liked Sherlock instantly and Sherlock liked Mary instantly as well. 

Sherlock knew that Mary was not perfect and that when he read her that she was a liar and keeping secrets but Sherlock had just come off 2 years of lying to his best friend and was still keeping secrets so who was Sherlock to judge when he himself was far from innocent. Sherlock could see that Mary made John happy and Sherlock knew that John needed and deserved to be happy, especially after faking his death and coming back to life.

For John to have Mary in his life at that time was the best possible thing that kept the Holmes and Watson friendship going, she saved that friendship because she knew how much they needed each other, she knew how important that friendship was to each of those men. The addition of Mary Morstan to the Holmes and Watson orbit was not about dividing these best friends, it was about enhancing it, about helping it grow to the next level, which was the brotherly bond that Sherlock and John had.

It was Mary who saved that friendship not once, but twice.

It’s all fine and good you think Sherlock and John were in love, I wouldn’t tell you that yer wrong. If that is yer interpretation of these two characters then, awesome. BUT that shouldn’t cloud yer judgement and enjoyment of the character of Mary Watson because even in the ACD canon stories Sherlock liked Mary. And in BBC Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes loved and protected Mary Morstan Watson. She was his 2nd best friend and they had a bond that was totally real because they both understood each other.

They were very much flawed but they wanted to be better people and they became better people because they had one common denominator, and that was their love for John Watson. And both of them lied and did things to protect John from their truths. They didn’t judge each other and they didn’t have impossible expectations of what a friendship was supposed to be. Sherlock and Mary did the best they could. That is why their friendship worked perfectly.

{{I hope one day you may read the books of ACD and truly appreciate the characters of Holmes and Watson.}}

Honestly I probably won’t ever read the books. My husband who is a huge fanboy of Sherlock Holmes on the scale of the Mofftiss, tried to get me into Sherlock LONG ago but failed. I only became interested in watching Sherlock when I fell in love with Benedict and then fell in love with the BBC version of Sherlock. The writing, the setting of London, the actors that use their talents to bring these wonderful characters to life. The BBC version of Sherlock is the only version I’d ever be into. Fingers cross we will get S5 because S4 was AH-mazing! and I loved every minute of it and I’d love to see them expand on Eurus and explore more of the Holmes Family narrative. I’d love to see John and Rosie interact more, I’d love to see Irene Adler make a surprise appearance and cause some playful trouble for Sherlock AND I want to see how the Molly and Sherlock dynamic continues, now that we know they both love each other. I’d like to see where that love takes them..

{{I have no intention of being rude,but am just baffled how anyone can so misinterpret two of literature’s most loved characters.}}

Anon, no rudeness taken! But I believe you are confusing interpretation with truth. The version of Holmes and Watson, YOUR interpretation is that you believe they are and have always been in love. That they are gay and that is the way ACD wrote them to be, gay on the down low because back then homosexuality was not acceptable. Well, the truth is, ACD modeled these 2 men after people he knew in his real life. And gave them personality traits of the people he knew in that life. We don’t know what the truth was about them. All ACD gave us was the stories of 2 men and their ridiculous adventures and it’s up to the reader on how they want to view this 100+ year old relationship between the world’s only consulting detective and a doctor who became his trusted confidant and documenter of their adventures together.

Thanks for stopping by!

long mornings and longer thoughts

The Reader and the Writer (Part 3)

Originally posted by juptern

Part one here    Part two here

Anon requests: Will you please do part 3 of the reader and the writer

You’re writing is so amazing, it’s what keeps me alive 😂😍 so thank you for doing such an amazing job and I hope you’re having an amazing day 💜 And I was wondering if you consider writing a part 3 of The Reader and The Writer someday? Because I’d love to read more of it 🙈

Please please PLEASE do a Part 3 to the reader and the writer? It’s amazing x

Omg! Part 3 please gor he reader and the writer 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PART THREE OF THE READER AND THE WRITER PLEASE

PART 3 OF READER AND THE WRITER

Part 3 of Reader and Writer?? Cause you are too good to us??? Like thank you??? 💞I swoon for your writing 💞

I NEED PART THREE OF THE READER AND THE WRITER ASAAAPPPP

The Reader and the Writer (part 2) was amazing and so are all ouf your writings ! I can’t wait for a part 3 !

Will you do a part 3 of the reader and the writer??

I know you just posted but WOW I NEED A PART THREE OF THE READER AND THE WRITER GIRL YOU TOO GOOD!!!

OMFG PLEASE PART 3 OF THE READER AND THE WRITER AAAAHHH I’M SO GLAD I REQUESTED IT YAAASSS YOUR WRITING IS PERFECT AND AMAZING I LOVE YOU <3

I!!! AM!!! SHOOK!!!! I NEED PART 3 OF READER AND THE WRITER WOWOWOWOW ITS AMAZING

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Description: The reader returns, and she offers the writer some explanations that he’s been waiting for

Warnings: none

Word count: 1,041

A/N: It’s here! I am so so so sorry for making you guys wait this long, I had so much going on this week and I had barely any time to write at all. I hope this makes up for it, enjoy!


Jughead didn’t expect for (Y/N) to return to Pop’s; in fact, he thought she’d leave town.  However, the following night he was proven wrong when she walked in and sat across him in their usual booth.

“You’re here,” he stated. (Y/N) quirked an eyebrow.

“You expected otherwise?” she inquired, crossing her arms.

“Well, to be fair, I hadn’t seen you in about a month before yesterday,” Jughead defended himself.  (Y/N) sucked in a breath and went to contradict him, but she realized he was right, so she shut her mouth.  They sat in silence, both of them avoiding eye contact with each other.  Finally, (Y/N) sighed and broke the quiet.

“So I’m guessing you want to talk about it,” she said, not even bothering to pull out a book.  Jughead nodded as he closed his laptop.

“I think I deserve a bit more information than the fact that you were born in Riverdale,” he grumbled.

“You do,” she agreed.

“So why did you think that was important to tell me?” Jughead began the interrogation. “Out of all the things to say to stop me from leaving, why that?”

“Well it worked, didn’t it?” (Y/N) attempted to joke, but Jughead didn’t even crack a smile.  She sighed and continued.  "I don’t know, because that’s the beginning. I’m a reader, Jug, I like to start at the beginning of a story.“

"And so your beginning started here.”

“Yes.”

“But then you moved somewhere else?” Jughead asked.  (Y/N) nodded.  "Why?“

"Because we had to,” she responded.  "My parents were… unpleasant people, to say the least.  Bad people tend to mingle, and thus my parents met the Blossoms.“  Jughead’s head perked up at the mention of the family.

"The Blossoms?” he echoed.  "As in Jason Blossom?“

"No, the other notorious Blossom family in Riverdale,” she rolled her eyes, sarcasm oozing from every word.  "Yes, Jason Blossom’s family.“  Jughead’s silence signaled for her to continue.  “My family and their family had this long-lasting feud for as long as I can remember.”

“So is that why you left?” he asked.  “Because of the feud?”

“Yes,” she answered tentatively, “and no.  It’s complicated.  You see, I didn’t leave Riverdale with my parents.”  (Y/N) paused for a moment, biting her lip.  “My parents were murdered.”  Jughead’s eyes widened as he realized the severity of her situation.

“The Blossoms did it?” he immediately assumed.  (Y/N) shook her head.

“Not that we know of,” she replied.  “They never figured out who did it.  Yes, the Blossoms were high on the suspect list, but personally, I don’t think it was them.  They’re too snobbish to actually murder someone.”  The pair fell into a silence, Jughead attempting to soak up all the information he was just given.  (Y/N) lazily glanced around the dinner, scanning the strangers’ faces.

“Why’d you come back?” Jughead spoke up.  (Y/N)’s eyes flicked back to his face.

“They were about to sell our old home,” she shrugged.  “My aunt was infuriated, so she packed up all our things and moved here.” Jughead had so many more questions swirling around his mind, but when he observed (Y/N)’s face, he saw how tired and deflated she looked.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “this is too much for you.  I shouldn’t have pressured you to tell me everything at once.”

“No, it’s fine,” she insisted, shaking her head.  “I want to tell you, I… you deserve to know.”  Jughead reached across the table, grabbed (Y/N)’s hand, and gazed at her in a manner she couldn’t quite distinguish.  He didn’t say anything, and neither did she.  They just sat there in the booth, on a quiet day in Pop’s, Jughead holding (Y/N)’s hand and she was letting him.  Without speaking, she understood what he was trying to tell her: there was nothing left to say.


For the next two weeks, neither Jughead nor (Y/N) said anything to each other.  They still went to Pop’s every night, and they sat together at the same booth.  But (Y/N) always had a book, and Jughead always had his laptop.  Frequently, when one of them wasn’t looking, the other would glance up and stare for just a moment.

On a slow Tuesday, Veronica entered Pop’s.  She was only there to pick up the food she and her mom had ordered, but she noticed (Y/N) and Jughead sitting together at a booth, and so she sped over there.

“You’re back,” she noted, sitting down next to (Y/N).  She glanced up, putting Frankenstein down, and shot Veronica a timid smile.

“I’ve been back for a few weeks,” she responded.  Veronica furrowed her eyebrows.

“Really?” she questioned, shifting her gaze to Jughead.  He didn’t look up from his computer.  (Y/N) awkwardly nodded, turning back to her novel.  Veronica glanced back and forth between (Y/N) and Jughead, waiting for one of them to say something.  “Do you guys ever talk?”

“It’s not always necessary,” Jughead replied, rolling his eyes.

“Well yeah,” Veronica shrugged, “but you guys are dead silent.  Neither of you have spoken to each other since I got here.”  When neither of them replied to her comment, Veronica understood that she was unwanted and left.

The two sat in silence for another hour before Jughead interrupted it by slamming his laptop shut.

“Okay, I’ve spent two weeks thinking about what to say,” he started, catching (Y/N)’s attention.  She lifted her eyes from her book and stared at Jughead, puzzled.  “But I don’t know.  I don’t know what to say!  How do I respond to the fact that your parents were murdered?”

“You don’t have to sa-”

“Yes I do!” Jughead interjected.  “Because we’re… friends, we’re friends.  And I’m supposed to say something to make you feel better.”  (Y/N) tilted her head sideways as she gazed at Jughead, trying to think of a reply.

“You still have a question,” she finally said, “don’t you?  And you didn’t want to say anything else because you didn’t want to tempt your own curiosity.”

“No,” Jughead shook his head, “no, I-”

“Just ask,” (Y/N) stopped him.  “Just ask me, Jug.”  He inhaled sharply, and examined her face.  There was no doubt, no hesitation; just determination with a hint of anger. Jughead sighed, giving into (Y/N)’s, and his own curiosity’s, demands.

“What’s your real name?”

Part four here