I think it’s the second time I’m saying hello. As I announced last time, today is the season’s end! As the season ended, I finished my college graduation ceremony (yuhu~)
I wanted to finish Season 2 immediately without a break, but I’m really sorry I did not. I am sorry to have caused you so much trouble preparing for Season 1 and I am sorry to have caused unreasonableness to the uploading team again… Something seems to have been a series of hardships and apologies.
However, as I have tried hard, my readers have been interested and liked it, and it has become a good thing!
Thanks, dear readers… (nod)
So about when season 2 starts!
The exact comeback date will be announced via sns!
I am aiming for about the middle of March or the end of March!
In fact, I thought it would come out early March, but if I prepare too hastily, I have an ominous feeling… that I will have to take a week rest. I think that if I ended up taking a week rest, the flow would be cut off…
I hope you enjoy the story that will be heard in the future!
Sorry for the absence… yet again. Regular uploads will be brought back probably late May whenever school is finally out for me. Until then posts will be arbitrary… I hope you don’t mind.
TRIGGER WARNING: Depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, low-self esteem, strong language, etc (Let me know if I missed any)
This is a little something I put together when I was going through something a while back. If you or a loved one are going through something like this shown in this imagine (Really just suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, etc.), please call this suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255
If you ever need someone to talk to and you feel uncomfortable calling this number, feel free to contact me personally. (Please don’t use anon because I don’t want to post it for the internet to see)
As for permission before reposting on another platform.
You’re so ugly.
You aren’t good enough.
Why do you even exist?
He doesn’t love you.
The world will be better off without you.
You sat in the dimmest part of your bedroom, your head in your hands and the blade beside you. You knew going back into that old habit was terrible. But at times like these, it was hard to have any self-control.
The thoughts weren’t sparked by comments from some of Tom’s fans that despised you. You “got used” to them, but nevertheless, you deleted your Instagram and snapchat minutes before your emotional breakdown.
Really, nothing really triggered you into this. You woke up today and thought. I’m not okay. Why am I not okay? You thought about your life. You were in college, which was well payed for by your family. You’re dating a freaking celebrity. So why did you feel this way?
Tears rolled down your face as the dark thoughts pounded against your skull. You’ve thought about this plenty of times as a young teen. And you thought about if you actually went through with your initial plan, you wouldn’t have met Tom. You wouldn’t have fallen in love.
But here you are. In love. Yet so broken. But rest assured it wasn’t his fault in any way.
The thoughts. The self doubt. The self hatred. The loathing. The depression. The need to dig the blade into your wrist to make a deep vertical cut.
It all hit you like a Tidal Wave.
No one will miss you.
Just one cut. Doesn’t even have to be too deep.
You aren’t good enough.
They hate you.
He hates you.
You’re just a parasite to him.
And before you could stop yourself, you grabbed the blade and slashed at your skin four times. You stared in horror as the blood dripped from your skin to the beige carpet. Your breath was shaky as you dropped the blade and broke into sobs.
Then you heard him.
“Babe? You won’t believe what happened at the park with these squirrels!” Tom’s accent rang through your flat. You shot up, picking the razor up and throwing in the trash bin, slicing your finger tips in the process. You grabbed some tissues and plopped them on top of the blood stains, cursing at yourself.
“You dumb fuck.” You muttered to yourself, realizing that those stains will never come out. Tom called for you again, you hear Tessa’s barking becoming louder as she smelled your blood. “Just a minute, Tommy!” You called back, practically slamming your fistful of tissue onto the stains. “Dumb fuck.” You muttered at yourself once again.
Then you heard the door swing and Tom say. “What the fuck?” You kept your back towards him, your bleeding wrist held tightly against your chest, as you kept cleaning. “Babe what did you spill?”
“N-nothing.” You whispered, wiping away, the tissues tearing apart.
He walked over to you. Tessa pushed past him and onto the bloodstains, howling and barking. Tom turned you around to see your nightshirt covered in blood along with your bloody wrist and hands. “What did you do?” He said in horror. He hates you. The voice hisses again.
And that’s when you burst into tears.
The silence was filled with Tessa’s alert barks as you collapsed into Tom’s arms in tears. He pried your arm from your chest to see the four scars bleeding but not enough to were it was life threatening. He got up. He’s going to leave you. He hates you. But to your surprise, he helped you up too.
Tom walked the both of you to the bathroom where he had you put your wrist against the running faucet. He then washed them for you. Then Tom fetched a huge bandage and covered it.
Tom finally broke the silence. “Why?” He asked, his jaw tight.
You exhaled a shaky breath before saying. “I-I don’t know.”
“Damn it, (Y/N)!” Tom yelled as he began to cry, his hands slamming on the bathroom counter, making you flinch. He immediately noticed and apologized. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, love. I-I just want to know why.” You stayed silent. “I want to know why you, the most caring, selfless, beautiful, amazing, sweetest girl would do that.” There was more silence. “Is it because of me? Am I not around enough? Am I not good enough?”
“No!” You exclaimed. “You’re the caring one. You’re the selfless one. You’re the amazing one. You’re the most attractive person in the world. And I’m wondering if I’m not good enough for you. Am I a charity to you, Holland?”
“No.” He said, pulling you into him, hugging you tightly.
“Then why are you dating someone like m-me? I’m normal. I’m ugly. I’m not perfect. I do this. Why are you with me when you can have literally anyone better?” You asked as you cried.
Tom pulled away, pushing fallen pieces of hair from your face. “You are beautiful. You’re the love of my life and I don’t want you or anyone else to hurt you. Okay? I love you so much. Please never again. I’m here, baby. I’m always here.”