So this is going to be a long personal note, it’s not really a rant but sort of about my day. If you’re not into that kind of thing, just scroll down, the last paragraph is sort of a message for anyone else, whether you’re having a bad day or not.
So today is my birthday, but I feel like this is the worst day / birthday I’ve probably ever had. I’m usually a pretty happy person and being an only child, I really have the best birthdays but today I’ve just been feeling like total crap. One of the worst things ever is that today is a Saturday and I don’t have to go to school, and so usually I get a shit ton of wishes and presents and this year it feels like no one cares or gives a fuck about my birthday because they don’t have a chance to come up to me and give me a present and do the implied HEY REMEMBER I’M BEING NICE AS FUCK AND GIVING YOU THIS PRESENT RIGHT NOW kind of politics. Maybe this sounds bitter and whiny as fuck, but I’m feeling like no one cares and it sucks. Early this morning, my best friend and her mother came over to my house at midnight and wished me happy birthday, my best friend sleeping over. We had a great time, but I’ve been sick these few days and I just. I had to wake up at 7:30 am though, to go for school for my extracurricular activity practice, and it was horrible. First of all, the only person I could have had fun with wasn’t there and I was other people. The extra-cur is guitar, and I feel like I’m not very good at it, and the competition is coming soon and I feel like I’m going to get kicked out of the competition team, and I’m sick and I can’t practice and it’s putting so much pressure on me, and my friends who were there didn’t even come over to see how I was feeling. Not their fault, really, but I just wished sometimes people would care. I feel so whiny, if you’re still reading this, I’m so so sorry, I love you.
Maybe one of the other things, is that usually I would go out with my family on my birthday, but this year my dad’s not around (working overseas) and I thought I would be okay but I’m not and I miss him so much and I just feel like absolute crap.
I feel like this could be my best year yet, I’ve finally found some things that I’m really interested in but this birthday’s been bad. :( I’m sorry dear reader, it’s not your fault I just needed to get it all out you know.
My chinese tuition teacher did make it all better though, she let me cry it all out and it’s probably because at this age, my hormones are just everywhere and school is a load of pressure. But that’s it about me.
Here’s for you: wherever you are, whoever you are, whether you’re having a good, or a bad day, remember that you are you, and you are the most important one of all, try not to give up yeah? If you want to escape, only do it if it’s an alternative positive option, and NOT giving up. Stay strong, I love you, even if I don’t know you, there are many people everywhere who don’t know you and care for you. You can send me asks if you’re having a bad day, I promise I’d try my best to reply and help.
Have a great day,