sorry for the long and sappy letter

My letter to everyone who hasn't found the person who lights up their world yet:

There is someone out there who will duet a Michael Buble Spotify playlist with you while you’re driving in the car. Someone whose eyes light up when they talk about their passions, and even though you have zero idea what they’re talking about you smile and listen because you love the way they look when they’re talking about something they love. Find someone who will fly across the world to see you even though they have a fear of airplanes. The person who finally makes sense of the love songs you always listen to when you’re lonely. Find someone who you can just look at forever and makes your heart flutter whenever you’re together. Find the person who makes you grateful for every second you spend together. Someone who welcomes you into their world and takes you places you’ve never been before; places like happiness, acceptance, and love. Who takes you out on cute dates and eagerly accepts your bet that they won’t finish all their food. Find someone who drinks good beer and knows exactly what kind to order for you. And who listens to you ramble about your useless wine knowledge then orders the kind you suggest for them. Someone who takes pictures of you when you’re not paying attention just so they can always remember how you look when you’re pondering something. Look for the person who will drive you two hours to Disneyland and will ride the Tower of Terror with you even though they hate drop rides. Find the one who makes promises of forever, even though the thought of forever scares the shit out of you. Your person will show you off and tell you that you’re amazing even when you don’t feel like you are. There is someone out there you can’t live without. They will clarify your world. They will erase your “out of sight, out of mind” mindset and you’ll finally realize that absence really does makes the heart grow fonder. Your heart will grow exponentially fonder when they’re not around. Finally, find someone who tunes your heart strings and makes forever seem less scary with them by your side.

Sincerely,
Someone who found their person

Sam Calling (A SPN Fanfic)

OOC: This one is super rough and I’m not at all happy with any of it from a writer’s perspective, but I figured what the hell! Might as well post it. It’s got some harsh Dean in it, but it smooths out near the end. Unbeta’d, so sorry for any mistakes or typos.  EDITED FOR TIMELINE ISSUES so If you see “10 years” and not 5 that is in error. |D

Summary:  “ It’s not like Dean waits for a call, thinks maybe one of these days Sam’ll be that sappy-eyed guy who can’t help but dial in and see what’s going on. But then, Sam didn’t bother writing letters or leaving messages when he was at Stanford, so… So fuck it. It’s done. That’s all she wrote.” Sam walks out on Dean after Gadreel. AU, not featuring the MoC. 

Warnings: character death, grief, grumpy negative dean (haha)



The bunker has been quiet for a long time. Dean hasn’t bothered keeping track of much, but he does know it’s been at least five years. Five years since Sam walked out after Gadreel, five years since he had told Dean he wasn’t coming back to this place, five years since Dean heard Sam’s voice. Which is fine by Dean — if this was enough to rip apart everything they’d built? This mistake? Then fine. He has enough guilt to feed a small village for a few years; he told Sam he was poison, and Sam listened. Good. Good for him. It’s not like Dean waits for a call, thinks maybe one of these days Sam’ll be that sappy-eyed guy who can’t help but dial in and see what’s going on. But then, Sam didn’t bother writing letters or leaving messages when he was at Stanford, so… So fuck it. It’s done. That’s all she wrote.

Cas stops by a lot, nudges him to look for Sam. Tells him Sam’s just upset and trying to find himself, probably. And god, Dean gets it, you know? He gets it. He fucked up; he’s just — selfish enough to wish Sam would just build a bridge and get over it, and he knows that’s shitty, and he knows it’s more complicated than just lying to Sam innocently. It was Sam’s worst nightmare. It was worse than dying. Kevin was gone. And that was Dean’s fault, no matter how much Sam beat himself up over that… that was on him. He might as well have burned the eyes from the kid’s head himself, with how much trust he depended on from him. How much he just expected everything to go smoothly, with a potential killer listening in the next room. He dreams about it a lot, wakes up screaming because he’s dreaming about putting a blade through Sam’s heart, or sometimes thinking Sam’s been abducted again… but it’s just that Sam’s gone.

Gone, gone, gone.

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