sorry for the bible I just had to get my feels out

OH NO!! MID-SEASON FINALE. TINY HELLATUS. BUT UNTIL THEN, HERE’RE SOME POST-SPN SCOUTTHOUGHTS!

  • well hey luci worked a soup kitchen so that was nice of him 
  • i like how they’ve gone from staying as far away from satan to chasing him around the country 
  • LOL AWKWARD DAD TALK THE BIBLE BURNIN HIS HAND i’m sorry but i thought this was hilarious 
  • satan you are so awkward you’re just as bad as your siblings 
  •  NO!! BAD! NO SATAN SEEDS 
  • AW ROYAL FAMILY BONDING 
  • gentle deancas arm caress i’ll get what i can, when i can 
  • “do you know who we are” “…winchesters” me, out loud: “o shit" 
  • british mol get outta my gotdam eyes 
  • "oh god” “nah he left” there’s my cas. but seriously chuck get your neurotic little ass back down here. bring amara. it’ll be fun 
  • THESE ARE NOT THE DROIDS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR 
  • everyone’s hair after the big blast was on point 
  • omg the little holiday promo they showed with j2m genuinely laughing was super cute ;o; 
  • ????? 
  • 6 WEEKS 2 DAYS 10 HOURS

ok so the winchesters are finally in some sort of prison, but what happens when you run dudes like them through the system?? they’re dead

but i am excited for cas and mary to bond more!!

nothing you'll miss

so i spent the afternoon thinking about the synonyms for betrayal. none of the words were strong enough or fitting for the feeling behind it. had to learn it the hard way. how since the last time i held you, it feels like someone took a hammer to my hands. this ache you won’t give a name. a bruise i couldn’t explain. the part in the horror movie you cannot look away from. i wish i could rip corinthians 13 out of the bible. it feels like my body made the bricks you built your new house out of and i don’t get to live there. i just have this shoebox full of old fists i never gave anyone. everything could’ve been anything else. whoever is upstairs shoveling the sands of time owes me some happiness. me saying “sorry i’m not staring i’m just trying not to blink.” they don’t get it. no one does. no one gets that when i went to see jesus you weren’t there. everything is just too loud and too full of cement and wondering when you’re coming home. come home. there we are. me and jesus. talking about how much cum i have to leave behind. in bodies that aren’t yours. the asphalt hell of “let her go” and all this whatever. he looks at me and says “the proof is in the pudding.” it is. and here i am. thinking about that scene in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind where joel and clem are standing on the ice and he says “what if it breaks?” so what if this whole thing breaks. as long as i don’t have to wonder. tired of all the people i meet shapeshifting into you the first time they make me smile. it’s hard on me. this worn out heart. this gift shop full of excuses. this wedding dance on crows feet. it’s like i walked into this store and the only thing they sell are snow globes capturing every moment you said you missed me and didn’t mean it.