sorry for ripping your heart out

Okay can we talk about the look that Ian gives Mickey when Mickey says that Ian had his back more than his family ever did?

 How tragic is that Ian is shocked when Mickey said that because he has realized just how untrue that is? He clearly knows that Mickey is giving him entirely too much credit. He completely recognizes that he wasn’t actually there for Mickey nearly as much as Mickey seems to remember, and he feels bad because if the limited amount of times that Ian backed him up is considered more than his family… Then Ian is finally realizing just how alone Mickey always was. Looking in Ian’s eyes and seeing that regret and that shame honestly made me forgive him instantly because it was made painfully clear that he knew how much of an ass he was and he feels bad for it (though I had already mostly excused him because he was unmedicated, but this took the cake). I feel like this is something that a lot of Ian haters seem to overlook is the fact that Ian clearly knows that he fucked up and clearly knows that he was horrible to Mickey and that he doesn’t deserve him anymore and that is just so upsetting to see him recognize that. 

Who’s to say that Ian wasn’t constantly wrestling with his guilt at knowing that in the end he wasn’t a very good boyfriend to Mickey even before this moment? (Obviously I know it wasn’t his fault, but try telling that to Ian… especially in this moment.) He recognized that he did build a wall between him and Mickey that hurt both of them. That wall was built when he broke up with him in 5x12, I argue to protect Mickey from hurting if Ian decided to remain unmedicated, but also to protect himself from the pain of knowing he would be hurting Mickey, and also to protect himself from Mickey eventually leaving (which I have no doubt Ian saw happening while his plan was still to keep off his meds). When Mickey punched him in the arm for not visiting him, I felt all of that built up pain and resentment for being abandoned and my heart broke so much. Imagine the resentment he was burying deep up until that moment. All of the visitation days he was waiting, hoping, for Ian to show up and never did. The letters he may have started but never sent because he knew he wouldn’t get a response. So literally all he had in prison was the memory of their relationship and his confidence that if he got to see Ian on his meds that Ian would be back to his Ian, or at least closer, and that they could make it work. Then my heart double broke when I saw the shame in Ian’s eyes for knowing he abandoned Mickey… 

Guys, I am so not fucking okay. I am so far from okay.

a letter to everyone who’s ever hurt me;

i am so god damn tired of hearing “you did nothing wrong, you deserve better, you deserve so much love, i don’t deserve you.” it is engraved in my fucking head. i want to rip out my teeth and slam them into your heart so you know how it feels to cough up broken pieces of a person you once loved. because you shoved all of these words down my throat and i was convinced, maybe for once, someone felt it too. it’s like putting money in a machine, fuel me and make me work and I’ll confine to your needs. give me happiness and I’ll give you all my love. with one smile i will give you my ribs, with one touch, one call, i will personally rip my heart out with my bare hands and place it right into yours and I’ll do you a favor and ignore your trembling hands and instead, I’ll shoot you with a, “hey, how ya doing? haven’t talked to you in a while!” text cause i have never been one for subtlety or expressing how i feel. “im sorry. you deserve more, you don’t deserve that, you deserve so much love!” then why does this keep happening to me? if i deserve more, why is all of my love one sided? unrequited? why is my heart layered in stitches and still im the one who always gives. if you are so sorry why in the fuck do you keep letting me crash and burn? why in the fuck did you think it was okay to tell me you loved me and then not speak a word to me for three fucking months? i have always been one to remember everything and i remember the way your lips felt on mine for the very first time and how i was so in shock i couldn’t even kiss back but i swear to fucking god i felt my veins turn into fireworks and my body into a land mine and with one more touch i thought that i just mightve exploded and jesus fuck i don’t even know how you feel and i have destroyed myself pondering over it and they tell you that their touch means forever but all i can think about is you telling me i deserve better but if i deserve so much more why will no one reach out and give it to me? i am choking on water and drowning in my own house because i gave you the key and i trusted you with all i had but when you walked away you left the faucets on and i wondered why i just couldn’t stop crying. i think you slammed the door too hard, i think my water bill is too high, i don’t even bother to wipe my eyes because all i can think about is your smile and how it made me feel like i was finally safe but all i ever am is somewhere for people to go when they need to take refuge, and i am never a permanent home, just a quick little stop, a let’s take a break, unwind and ruin the foundation kind of stop. an “oh its okay it’ll only hurt a bit” kind of stop, an “i love you.” kind of stop but i always love more, so can you stop? i can’t stop bleeding, i can’t stop scratching myself raw, i can’t stop screaming because all i am good for is always loving more and i am so beyond tired of hearing how i deserve better, maybe i don’t want better, maybe i am ready for a fight, maybe i am fragile and gentle and cry all the time over the smallest thing because one bad thing just sends my heart crumbling but i want a love that rips me apart and maybe im already in pieces but i really wouldn’t mind if you turned me black and blue because i swear to god, no matter what, im always going to love more so i might as well just see how much i can take before i collapse on the floor and i am so tired of always being the one with the brave face and im tired of forgiving without even a slight trace of an apology and i don’t even give a shit that you don’t talk to me anymore because maybe i did deserve more and maybe i finally found it but im afraid this fire is unrequited too and i am so tired of burning one second and being ice cold the next and all i need is consistency but i get summer days filled with winter nights and i am sorry for always loving more. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen but we all know that is a god damn lie because my hearts already prepped and ready for the next gaping chest i see. // i think that’s my problem, im always one to give without them even asking for anything but i cannot stop stitching up soldiers in a war i wasn’t even drafted in.

you slammed the door on my fingers and I apologised for standing in the doorway

you walked out on your promises and I apologised for not closing the gate behind you

you let me slip through your hands and I apologised for being so hard to hold close

you ripped my heart out of my chest and although I was the one bleeding on the floor I still apologised for leaving a stain on your carpet

—  I’m sorry, Im sorr&;, im s0r/[!y?
Best Friends Don’t... (Part II)

READ PART ONE  HERE // Series Masterlist

(Friends-to-lovers Harry and y/n mini series)

*NSFW*

Knock

The air was just chilly enough to need a jacket as you rushed down the stairs in your office and out the door to start on the walk to Harry’s flat. 

It was a Thursday night, which meant it was your movie night with Harry. This tradition had started in the early years of Uni, catching up on the latest seasons of your favorite shows or discovering new movies together. You’d hang out in Harry’s dorm, or he’d sneak into your girls-only hall, and would stay up much too late for your early morning classes the next day. 

Now that the both of you were out of school, it was a bit more work to see each other, but you didn’t mind the walk. 

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Rotten Judgement - part 4

AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Hercules!AU After selling your soul to save your lover’s life, you become one of the Lord of the Underworld’s slave. Bucky is obsessed with one thing: collecting hearts. But why?

Word Count:1,877

Warnings: -

A/N: I died three times while writing this. I dedicate this one to the sun, kindly f*ck off. I hope you like this one, some fun stuff coming soon :)

Rotten Judgement - Masterpage

You and Steve walked hand in hand down the street, enjoying the cool breeze. You knew you had angered Bucky, but you didn’t care. You would deal with him and his silly pride later. Right now, you wanted to enjoy your time with Steve. He was charming and, quite literally, perfect.

“I’ve got a friend who wants to meet you,” Steve said.

“You told your friends about me?” A slight blush crept up his cheeks, making you chuckle. “Relax, Cap. I’d love to meet your friends.”

He gave you the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen. It made your stomach do a pleasant flip. You felt your face heat and bashfully lowered your eyes.

It’s too cliché, you thought. Get a grip, girl!

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              DAMON SALVATORE SENTENCE STARTERS.


                 taken from ian somerhalder’s portrayal of him on the show, not the book.


  • “Hello, brother.”
  • “Stop being cute.”
  • “Nostalgia is a bitch.”
  • “I’m stronger than you think.”
  • “I’m gonna go rip his head off now.”
  • “Our life is one, big proverbial coin toss.”
  • “I could rip your heart out and not think twice about it.”
  • “Sorry to spoil your seven minutes in heaven. We have a problem.”
  • “For someone who doesn’t wanna be like me, you sure are good at it.”
  • “Take it from the guy who supposedly got it all and is sitting with bubkis. Stop moping about who are not and start being the guy you are.”
  • “Very Emerson, the way you reveal your soul. So many… adjectives.”
  • “Is that where you’ve been all morning, out buying bossypants?”
  • “I’m not some drunk sorority chick. You can’t roofy me.”
  • “Does it get tiring, being so righteous?”
  • “You just don’t wanna die, do you?”
  • “Why are you so mean to me?”
  • “Don’t tell me what I can’t do.”
  • “Hashtag, you’re welcome.”
  • “The only one I can count on is… me.”
  • “Today has been a no-good, very-bad day.”
  • “This would be so much more fun if we were naked.”
  • “I guess I’ll have to cuddle up next to the fire with all my rage.”
  • “You brood too much… My actions, they belong to me. I own them.”
  • “I do believe in killing the messenger. Know why? It sends a message.”
  • “Can we not do the whole road trip bonding thing? The cliche of it all makes me itch.”
  • “I look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less intelligent version.”
  • “Your search for life’s purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.”
  • “I’m trusting you. Don’t make me regret it.”
  • “Alright, brother. Time to go.”
  • “I’d be extra nice to me right now.”
  • “You are officially the most terrifying person I know.”
  • “Didn’t you find it weird that you made a friend so fast? Have you met you?”
  • “I gotta admit, even for me, it’s a little kinky.”
  • “You have no sense of humor.”
  • “So all’s forgiven?”
  • “I don’t do good. It’s not in me.”
  • “Stop being ashamed of who you are.”
  • “I’m better at being the bad guy anyway.”
  • “Take it from me: strange is bad, dead is worse.”
  • “I promise you. I will never leave you again.”
  • “You want a partner in crime? Forget _____. I’m so much more fun.”
  • “You know what they say: the way to a psycho killer’s heart is through his stomach.”
  • “Get your ass out the door before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself.”
  • “There’s no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones.”
  • “Hindsight is almost a bigger bitch than you.”
  • “I’ve been dead before. I got over it.”
  • “Life sucks. Get a helmet.”
  • “You need to stop doing that.”
  • “Humanity’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
  • “I’m staying clear of all women at the moment.”
  • “I want to throw you back in my bed and never let you leave.”
  • “You went on a murderous rampage. It happens.”
  • “First of all, don’t nickname. That’s my thing.”
  • “And here I thought my future was bleak.”
  • “I have moves you’ve never even seen before.”
  • “You do realize you are dating a reformed serial killer, right?”
  • “You know this whole pretending to hate me is getting a little silly.”
  • “Guilt. Don’t know it, but I’ve heard it can be a royal bitch.”
  • “One thing you’re not going to do, you’re not going to mess with me.”
  • “You’re lucky you’re adorable because your eternal optimism is super annoying.”
  • “If you’re gonna be maudlin, I’m gonna kill you myself. Just to put me out of your misery.”
  • “Sometimes really terrible things happen to amazing people.”
  • “You better start talking or I will kill you in your sleep.”
  • “That’s it? We’re gonna kill bad guys together and you’re not even going to talk to me?”
  • “Is that what you people think of me? That I just instantly resort to violence?”
  • “You are literally the best person I’ve ever known.“
  • “You came here to kill me?”
  • “Eh. I’ve seen worse.”
  • “I think I like you.”
  • “I’m a good guy now, remember?”
  • “I’m lost… metaphorically, existentially.”
  • “I like a woman who knows what she wants.”
  • “Just stop talking. Just kiss me. Be my distraction.”
  • “You once told me that calling me Satan was an insult to Satan.”
  • “So I’m thinking of a person. He’s reasonably good looking, charming accent, and he would be the most amazing wingman if he just got rid of his martyr complex.“
  • “Whatever desire you have to save me, I kinda need that right now.”
  • “Listen, how I got this amazing body has nothing to do with science.”
  • “Clarity over cleverness. That’s what I always say.”
  • “You’re choosing that woman over me?”

Im so sorry..
If I’ve hurt you,
That was not my plan, not my intentions
I wanted to love you…
Wanted to be there, be yours…
Hug you as the leaves changed to magical colors
Hold your hands to keep them from the frosty winds..
Kiss your lips to keep the blushing pink color from ainking away during the frozen tundra winter
But i couldn’t …
I lost myself.
Lost my feelings..
And most of all…
The one that ripped ny heart out and tore it to shreads over and over……
I lost you…
Maybe we weren’t meant to be
But at that moment
We were;

We were supposed to dance as the cool rain washed away all our insecurities, our fears, and doupts…
We were supposed to stare at the stars and talk about life, death, and everything in between at 1 AM in an empty park with only the gentle sounds of our breathing and the pounding of our hearts
Feeling as though we were invincible
We could face the world and the destruction if faces…
But we couldn’t,
We didn’t.
And im so sorry

Leave This Town Pt 7 (Mechanic!Bucky AU)

Characters: reader, Bucky, Surprise Avengers! :)

Summary: After leaving the small town life behind, you’ve worked hard to make your dreams come true. When something unexpected brings you home, you’re brought back to the place where everything changed. Timing is everything and now there just might be a second chance with the man you left behind. 

Song Inspiration: Angela by The Lumineers

Warnings: Fluff! Tiny bit of angst. Mentions of death.

Word Count: 3.2k

Tags are at bottom (TAG LIST IS CLOSED I’M SORRY)

**This fic is for @bionic-buckyb ‘s 5K AU Writing Challenge**

A/N: Oh my gosh, this fic has taken over everything and I just can’t stop myself from adding more parts but I don’t want to?? I’ve been so excited to get to this part so please let me know your thoughts! I adore you all. <3

<<<Part 6   Part 7   Part 8>>>

Leave This Town Masterlist

Full Masterlist

______________________________________________

Originally posted by bovaria

Two Years Later

Warm, salty sea air caressed your face and tousled your hair in the early light. Resting your mug of coffee on the porch railing, you let your gaze wander over the sprawling city toward the rolling hills and beyond. It was in the stillness of the morning where you allowed yourself to marvel in the fact that you now called this place home. In a few weeks, it would be two years since you arrived Los Angeles without a clue and barely a plan. It was amazing to think back on the path you had taken, the struggles you’ve had, and the sacrifices you have made.

Pressing the mug to your lips, you took a sip and felt a presence behind you seconds before a pair of muscular arms wrapped around your waist.

“The ocean is that way, you know,” he teased, hooking his thumb in the direction behind you.

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anonymous asked:

Your villain x hero stuff is destroying me tho I'm just gonna rip out my heart and hand it to you, goddamn. Feed my addiction please: a villain (with somewhat an obsession for the hero) has the hero at their mercy. Sorry for the request and thank you for your writing and just have a good day!

I am so weak, like damn. Your addiction cannot be worse than mine, no need to be sorry, I live for interesting hero x villain dynamics. Okay. Last villain x hero thing I’m going to indulge myself with for at least ten prompts. Maybe some fluff next. 


1) The villain looked down at the hero, held tilting as they watched the hero struggle.
“You’re getting predictable, you know. That saving people thing of yours. It’s going to get you killed.”
“You say that like you’re not planning to kill me.”
“Sweet thing, why would I kill you? You might just be the best weapon I’ve ever seen.”
“I’m not a weapon.”
“All you know how to do is fight me, doesn’t that make you a weapon?”


2) The hero flinched as gentle fingers dabbed at their bruises, stitched wounds, cleaned away the blood alongside a chiding click of the tongue.
“Why are you doing this?” they rasped. “What are you going to do to me?”
“I dislike debts. Consider mine to you paid.”


3) “You’re obsessed with me,” the hero said.
“Me? You’re the one who’s spent the year actively plotting to defeat me and stalking my every movement. You’re lucky I feel the same way or I think that would be considered harassment.”


4) “You think you’re so good.” The villain’s expression turned as cold as liquid nitrogen, all playfulness whether mocking or genuine vanished without a trace. “But you do not hesitate to use my feelings for you against me. Perhaps you imagine that going out of your way to toy with me doesn’t count as cruelty? Why is that?”
The hero’s breath caught in their throat.


5) “I’m going to ruin you.” The villain confessed it softly, like the most intimate of secrets. “Maybe then I’ll stop loving you. Kinder for us both that way.”


6) “I like this, you at my mercy. It’s just like old times.”


7) “You think me a monster, perhaps you’re right.” The villain studied the hero almost clinically as they gasped desperately for air. “But at least I am what I am. You would tear yourself into a hundred pieces if that would make them love you, but don’t you see?” In an instant, they’d stepped close, cradling the hero’s jaw. “You’re never going to be enough for them. They want an angel who will save them all and you are only human.”


8) “Why don’t you just get it over with?”
“You don’t rush art, and you are worth more than a sloppy death.”
The hero didn’t quite know how to respond to that - it seemed sincere.


9) “All this,” the hero managed. “For power? Is it really worth it?”
“Don’t be such cliché – those are terrible last words. Honestly, I expected better of you. If you had power you wouldn’t be on your knees before me now.”


10) “Oh, please tell me you’re going to monologue and give me time to escape?”
“It’s like you want me to kill you.”

Hold On To Me

Author’s note: Okay so this fic spawned from a few different requests I got, but in the end I kind of ignored the requests and did my own thing?? Sorry guys. But anyway, ever since I saw Wonder Woman (the day it came out lmao) and then the two other times since then (bc I’m trash) I’ve been developing this idea and yeah. Hope you guys enjoy! 
Also! Please listen to ‘Heart’ by Sleeping At Last, as that’s the song I listened to while writing and it kind of fits! 

Summary: You joined this godawful war alongside your brother and his best friend. As a female pilot, already under stress due to your gender, the war became too much, ripping away everything you loved - but Steve was always by your side. Then he disappeared, and you had nothing left. So when he turns up out of nowhere with a stunning warrior goddess by his side, there are mixed feelings that arise. But you cannot let yourself get distracted by feelings that may or may not be reciprocated - there is still a war to be won. 

Part One / Part Two / Part Three 

Steve Trevor x Reader


   The first time you met Steve Trevor was back in 1916, the year you’d been assigned to British forces. You were waiting for your brother to return from a flight, so that the two of you could celebrate the fact that you’d finally been assigned a mission, and your pilot’s license - an incredibly difficult feat, due to the fact that you’re a woman. You were stood in the middle of the large hangar when something hurtled into you. 

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10

Turbulence is scary, but it’s not dangerous. In fact it’s… totally normal actually… When flying over mountains? I know. My mom told me the same thing right before she was ripped out of our plane. Shit! Sorry, I… I didn’t know. My head knows the facts, but right now, my heart is doing the driving. Okay, then forget the facts. Okay? Just let’s… Tell us how you feel. Say everything that’s going through your head. Just let it out.

IRON FIST, 1x08 “The Blessing of Many Fractures

Comatose-Chapter 2

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Bucky X Natasha, Logan Howlett X Reader

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Cheating, Feelings of worthlessness, Depression.

Summary: You are the sister of Charles Xavier, You are part of the Avengers and Dating Bucky Barnes, Unbeknownst to you Bucky is having an affair with Natasha, you catch them in the act and things go downhill from there.

Originally posted by unchartedghoul

Waking up the following morning is like ascending from a year in ice. Your heart is cold and numb, eyes crusted together with sleep and dried tears, your lips are cracked and voice scratchy from screaming your pain at the four walled prison you had made for yourself.

You contemplate calling Bucky, going so far as to pickup your phone, ignoring the 80+ missed calls you have from various Avengers. Finger hovering over the call button on the screen, the images of his betrayal replay inside your head. Stifling a sob, it lodges  in your throat, and you dial another number instead, a number you haven’t called in over 3 years, and pray that he will answer. You didn’t leave on the best of terms, after all.

Ring… Ring… Ring…

“What?” comes the gruff voice over the phone.

“Lo-Logan?” you croak, only to have silence greet you.

When the curt reply of, “(y/n)” finally comes, your heart plummets into your stomach. “I’m sorry,” you sob. “I shouldn’t have called.”

“No, wait, (y/n). What’s goin on?” You begin to cry in earnest and then, “I’ll be there in four hours,” comes over the line before it goes dead. You stare at your phone in horror. No… oh fuck..

Scrambling out of bed, you fly into the shower, scrubbing every inch of your skin, shampooing your hair and rinsing in record time. Rushing to your closet, you pick out black, skinny ripped jeans, combat boots, and a studded, capped sleeve, loose fitting t-shirt. You run a brush through your damp hair, pulling it into a tight ponytail before brushing a light dusting of blush across your cheeks and applying a coat of mascara to your eyelashes.

Feeling armed enough to face the onslaught of questions the arrival of Logan will bring, you step into your living area, taking in the shattered glass on the floor. Well fuck, this is a mess, you think as you float the pieces of glass in the air.  With a twitch of your fingers, you disintegrate them before turning your focus to the rest of the apartment. You straighten the hot mess your frazzled nerves made last night with a flick of your wrist, and satisfied with your progress, you sit yourself on the couch. Staring patiently at the door, you await Logan’s arrival.

Three hours and thirty minutes later, you hear a knock on the door, which sends a weird sense of panic and relief washing over you. Opening the door, you take in Logan’s features The man hasn’t aged a day. Strong muscular frame, hair styled just so, and a white wife beater under a leather jacket. Same old Logan.

“(Y/N)” he says in greeting.

“Logan,” you reply as you step aside to let him in. Gesturing toward the couch, you fidget as you ask, “Want something to drink?”

“Nah,” he replies. “What I want is for you to tell me why you called me out of nowhere, sounding like hell,” he states plainly, causing you to sigh as you take a seat next to him.

“I don’t know why I called…” you trail off. “I guess, I needed to hear a friendly voice..I..” You start crying as you try to get the words out. “The man I loved, my boyfriend of two years, thought it a fucking great idea to sleep with my best friend! And then he tells me he’s in love with both of us!” you exclaim shakily. “I’m such a fool to think it could have happened any other way, I mean, you left me for another woman.” You laugh mirthlessly as Logan growls. “Why the hell would it be any different this time? Why would anyone see me as anything else but a pit stop to someone better?” Pulling your knees to your chest, your breath hitches as you ask, “What’s wrong with me, Logan? Why can’t anyone love me enough to stay?”

Crying in earnest now, great heaving sobs shaking your delicate frame, you go willingly when he pulls you into his side. “There ain’t nuthin’ wrong with you, sweetheart. I loved Jean, and I loved you. I just… loved her a lil’ more, and I wound up killin’ her.” He snorts out a self-deprecating laugh. “She broke me, more than once, but you, you saved me. From the nightmares, from the darkness, and I treated ya like shit. I’m sorry for that.” He sighs loudly before continuing. “He’s an idiot, this man of yours, and I’m sorry he hurt ya,” Logan says gruffly

“I love him, Logan. More than I loved you, and a part of me wants to run back there and forgive him for everything.” Licking your dry lips you carry on, “And I need to go back, because it’s my job. People count on me. I’m gonna have to face them both, and deal with this, and all I really want to do is go home,” you say as you cling to his shirt.

“You wanna come home?” he asks tentatively.

“Yeah. I really just want to go home, Logan” you reply truthfully. “I wanna feel anything but this… numbness.”

He scrutinizes you for a full minute before he takes out his phone and dials a number:

“Professor,” he says, causing your head to snap up. “We have a problem.” He listens to the voice for a full thirty seconds before he says, “That’s the lay of the land, yeah. What can we do about it?” Silence again filled the space between you. “Alright. I’ll let her know. See you in a couple of days, Professor.” He presses the end call button and looks down at your shocked face. “Don’t look at me like that. You said you wanted to come home,” he says while quirking an eyebrow.

“I didn’t mean for you to call my brother!” you shriek, scrambling  frantically upright. “We haven’t spoken in more than four years, Logan!” Pacing the length of your apartment, you glare at his smirking face. “There’s a reason I haven’t been home to visit!”

“Well, suck it up, Bub’. He’s makin’ the calls as we speak. You’re being transferred back to the X-Men.”

Tags: Here we are pretties. Tell me what you think! If i missed anyone. Yell at me

@kika-doll @barry1215 @youreaninjaturtle-blog @erinvanlyssel @melconnor2007 @i-had-a-life-once @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @justreadingfics @griseldaevn @marvelrevival @gingerbatchwife @minxyvixen @megs4real @bolontiku @debzybrazy @nennesse @thatweirdgaygirl @dustycelt @gypsycat111 @sapphire1727 @arrowswithwifi @flirtswithdanger

@tatortot2701 @officialconsultingpsychologist @hillrich @fangirlextraordinaire @actual-bucky-barnes-trash @chipilerendi 

Confidential Couple

Request from anon for an Opie x Reader, where the two keep their relationship a secret due to the reader being Jax’s little sister.

Originally posted by stilinski-ortiz

You jump as you feel a pair of hands on your waist, ripping your earphones out and looking behind you. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Sorry.” Opie grins, pulling you back into his chest and wrapping his arms around your tummy. “I’ve hardly seen you today.”

“I know, babe, but my mom is already suspicious. We’ve gotta be careful.” you reason, relaxing back into Opie’s chest and breathing in his calming scent.

He hums in response, his head nuzzling into your neck before his lips start pressing kisses to your skin, your eyes closing as you place your hands over his. “Ope…”

“Jax is fixing up some car, the others are out.“ he mumurs between kisses, your body slowly but surely melting under his desires. “We’ve got time.”

A bang in the distance makes you jump, Opie pulling away from you as you go back to sorting through the box of family photos, your heart beating a thousand times a minute.

When you’re both convinced the coast is clear, you huff, turning around to face your secret lover. “I’m sick of sneaking around, Ope. I don’t wanna be like this anymore.”

“What, you think I do?” he asks defensively, before letting out a heavy sigh. “You’re the one who wanted to keep us a secret.”

“Yes, because I don’t fancy seeing my boyfriend and my brother at each others throats.” you snap, regretting it instantly, though you do nothing to apologise. Closing your eyes, you run your fingers through your hair, frustrated at the whole situation.

“I gotta go.” Opie says, turning away from you and heading out the room. You shake your head at his retreating figure, grabbing your stack of photos before exiting the room, heading towards the main area of the clubhouse.

Pausing your music, you grab a couple ice cold beers from behind the bar, heading out to TM. Just as you reach the garage, bikes fill your ears, the missing members flooding into the lot.

“Need any help?” you ask once you reach Jax, him straightening up from under the cars bonnet, smiling at you in thanks as you hand him a beer.

“Nah thanks, sis, I’m almost done.” he replies, cracking open the top of the bottle and taking a long gulp. “Is Ope alright? He just took off, seems kinda pissed.”

“I’m not sure.” you lie, taking a drink of your beer. Jax nods in acceptance, Chibs, Clay and Bobby saving you from the conversation.

“Doesn’t look too good with the Irish, we need to be on high alert.“ Clay warns, Jax throwing the rag he was holding on the floor. “Get everyone here, lock down.”

Your mind goes straight to Opie, and even though you know he can take care of himself, you know you won’t stop worrying until he’s back. “I’ll go get supplies. Food, drinks, extra pillows. Any requests?”

“Can you get us some cigs please, lass? You know the ones.” You nod in response, checking your pockets for your car keys and cash before practically speeding off.

“Take one of the prospects with you!” your stepdad shouts, you waving him off in response, insisting you’ll be fine.

As you’re moving around the store, throwing pretty much everything in your cart, you ring Opie for what feels like the fiftieth time, breathing a sigh of relief when he finally answers. “Do you ever stop calling?”

“Do you ever stop ignoring my calls?” you sass back, grabbing a huge pack of toilet paper and placing it in your cart. “Irish aren’t happy, we’re on lock down.”

“Shit.” he says, realisation in his voice. “No wonder Jax has been calling me.”

“Yep.” you deadpan, walking down the aisle full of candy, knowing your nephew is going to be bouncing off the walls from all the sugar. “That’s what happens when you act all grouchy, you miss information.”

“I’m not grouchy.” he defends, though you can tell he’s smiling through the phone. That’s one of the things you love about the two of you, how easy it is to forgive and forget. “Where are you?”

“I’m just at the store near Floyd’s, needed an excuse to get away so I could dial you a million times without being questioned.” you reply, already feeling a lecture coming on from your protective ass boyfriend.

“Please don’t tell me you’re alone.” he says, you staying silent. He curses under his breath, keys jangling in the background. “Stay there, I’ll be there in five.”

“Yes sir.” you tease, seduction in your tone, before ending the call. You smile to yourself as you move from aisle to aisle, content with the knowledge that you and Opie are on good terms again, no matter the circumstances.

As you reach the back of the store, the varieties of ice cream making your mouth water, a chill creeps up your spine. You look over your shoulder, the feeling that someone is watching you too strong for you to be mistaken.

You grab your cart, deciding to get the fuck out of there. Of course, your instinct is right, a hand covering your mouth and yanking you backwards so hard you almost lose your stepping.

Your heart feels like it’s going to explode out of your chest as you struggle, your screams silenced against the man’s hand. He pinches your nose, cutting off your only air supply as you frantically scan the store, praying that someone, anyone, will walk up the aisle and save you.

You look down, seeking an opportunity as you stamp on the persons foot as hard as you can, glad you’re wearing boots as the man temporarily moves back from you. You have no time to recover as you abandon your items, sprinting towards the exit.

Just as you reach the outside you feel a hand latch onto your hair, a sound of agony leaving your lips as tears fill your eyes, panic and pain flooding through you. He yanks your head back, delivering a harsh blow to your face, your cheek throbbing.

“Fucking bitch.“ the man spits, his Irish accent helping you understand his motive. You try to free yourself, but his grip is too tight, your limbs too weak to fight back.

”(Y/N)!“ You almost cry in relief at the sound of Jax, you twisting to see your brother and Opie running towards you. You’re shoved to the ground, your knees scraping the concrete, a hiss leaving your lips.

Jax rushes to your side as Opie moves to the man, and you’re thankful the lot is empty as the two men start fighting, Jax raising you gently to your feet. “Are you okay?”

You nod, tears slipping down your cheeks as your body shakes with adrenaline. Looking behind Jax, you notice the Irish man is behind held up against the wall, Opie delivering blow after blow.

“Opie! Ope!” Jax shouts, finally forcing his way between the two men. The Irish man slumps to the floor, unconscious, as Jax pushes against Opie’s chest, the taller man deliberating on what to do before he steps back. “I’ll go see if any of this shit has been caught on tape. Take my sister to TM.”

Jax jogs away, Opie’s gaze finally settling on you as he takes you in. “Jesus Christ.”

He’s next to you in a flash, slipping off his kutte and helping you put your arms through the sleeves, warmth and his scent covering you. Your body feels exhausted, drained even, but you resist Opie’s requests to pick you up, knowing you need to keep your strength up.

He’s as delicate as anything as he places his helmet over your head, snapping it shut and making sure not to trap any of your hair as he does so. Once he’s mounted his bike, you settle behind him, you wrap your arms around his waist, resting your head on his back.

Your body is heavy with fatigue as you struggle to stay awake, Opie’s natural warmth making you feel all the more relaxed.

You’re free for no more than ten seconds before you’re bombarded with questions, Opie’s bust lip being ignored once your dark purple cheekbone comes into view, Clay practically frothing with anger as your mom soothes you.

“I fucking told you to get one of the prospects!” Clay shouts, your eyes filling up again as Gemma tries to calm him down. “Why don’t you ever listen to me?!”

“Back off!” Opie booms as he stands in front of you, your fingers gripping the back of his tshirt, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep in his arms.

“Or what?” Clay responds, his voice eerily calm. “She’s my daughter, I’ll talk to her however the fuck I want!”

“Yeah? Well she’s my girl, so treat her with some fucking respect!” Opie roars, your grip tightening on his shirt as everyone falls silent. You step from behind your boyfriend just in time to see Clay lunge for Opie, Bobby and Chibs somehow keeping the two apart as they try to reach one another.

“Stop it!” you scream, everybody pausing to look at you. “Don’t you think I’ve been through enough tonight?!”

You angrily wipe your eyes as the group watches you silently, pity on all their faces. “Sweetheart-”

“No.” you cut your mom’s sentence short, your voice shaky yet strong. You shake your head in disgust, hating that they’re all acting like this when you could’ve been kidnapped tonight. “I’m going to bed, and I swear if any of you disturb me-”

You swallow the lump in your throat, refusing to break down as you turn on your heel, heading straight to the only place you know you’ll feel safe. Opie’s room.

About ten minutes later, you’re wrapped up in his duvet, wearing one of his giant tshirts and a pair of his boxer shorts. His scent is everywhere, and as much as you love it, it’s making it all the more harder to resist him.

Your phone vibrates, you fishing for it under the covers until you find it, a new message notification on the screen.

You alright? X

You smile despite yourself, messaging Opie back and telling him it’s safe to come in. He does so promptly, an apologetic look on his face as he sees your tear stained cheeks. “Hey.”

“Hey.” you whisper, your voice hoarse from shouting. Once he’s shut the door, he makes his way over to you, crouching beside the bed as he moves your hair around your ear, your eyes fluttering shut at the contact.

“I’m sorry.” he says, pressing his lips lovingly to your forehead. His tone is nothing but genuine, the look in his eyes the same.

“Me too. I didn’t mean to shout.” He shushes you quietly, a smile slipping onto his lips. “Can you come lie with me, please?”

He doesn’t even need to think about it, kicking off his boots and taking off his jeans before he’s crawling in beside you, wrapping his arms around you protectively as you nuzzle into his chest, feeling as if weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

“Jax knows, by the way.” he mumbles casually, his hand stroking your hair soothingly. You sit up slightly, eyes wide as you wait for him to continue. “He took it surprisingly well.”

“Really?” Hope floods your body. Maybe now you and Opie will be able to act like an actual couple. Well, once people have gotten used to the idea.

“I mean, yeah, he was pissed at first, but once he realised how much I love you, he understood.” Your heart flutters, a warm flush spreading across your face. Neither of you had even thought of the word love, let alone said it aloud, and Opie’s now nervous expression proved that.

Without hesitation, you lean forward, pressing your lips against his own, your hand going to the back of his head as he kisses you back, your skin tingling as if it’s the first time.

“I love you, too.” you say once you pull away, the words easily rolling off your tongue. “Thank you for protecting me today.”

“I’ll always protect you.” You kiss him once more, before relaxing back into his hold and allowing yourself to drift to sleep, safe in the arms of your lover.

A/N - Really didn’t plan on this being so long, but I hope you like it anyway!!! Been going through a bit of writers block so you’ll have to excuse me for the lack of updates, but I’ll keep trying to produce for you guys! See you next time ❤

i’m sorry that people have left you. i’m sorry your heart was ripped out, ribs broken and lungs barely moving. i’m sorry that you weren’t appreciated, i’m sorry you’ve been used and thrown away. you deserve more than that. you deserve to be the best friend, the most important, the number one. you are more than what you have been given, you are not a quick fuck, you are not a ragdoll, you are not what they have said about you or what you have said about yourself. please, you deserve more. you are more. you are, you are, you are. you are MY best friend, you are THE most important person in my entire life, you are MY number one. you deserve more than the way i treated you today, you deserve every single i love you and i miss you and i want a future with you that you have received. you deserve to be needed and loved and please believe me when i say that i need you and i love you. breathe in, and breathe out. unclench your hands, take mine instead. we can get past this, this isn’t the worst night you’ve had. breathe in, and breathe out. i love you. i love you. i love you. i understand you must protect your heart, but please don’t revert back to rule number one. my heart beats with every breath you take, and every single blink of your eyes. you are more. my love, my darling, my sweet baby boy, breathe deeply and know you are mine, and you are your own. you are not their words or actions. it isn’t your fault they can’t see you for what you are. you are worth more than gold, worth more than whatever the big bang caused, you are worth more than this. i will live alongside you. i will live alongside you forever, and our kids will marvel at the love in our eyes. breathe. our fire will never go dark. you carry my heart with you wherever you go. breathe. i love you. you are loved. you matter. breathe. breathe. breathe.

Hoseok's runaway daughter. Pt.3 END - Sensitive

[pt.1] [pt.2] [pt.3END] [pt.3END(Y/N’s p.o.v)] [Pt.3.5 Alternate End]


Originally posted by jhope-shi

Hoseok’s p.o.v

It was late. Ever since she sent me that last message, I’ve been looking for her. It was true, the things that I said. I did tell my wife that we should have aborted her when we could have. But I didn’t mean it, not whole heartedly. At first, it was a lot of hassle - she was unplanned after all but I love my wife and the guys convinced me that it was going to be okay to have a child at the same time as my music career. But was it? I was stressed, I said those things - I didn’t mean them, but just my luck, she heard it all. Every time I had said something along the lines of not wanting her, she heard me. But I do love her, I promise that I do - how could I not when she’s a part of?

Keep reading

Devil Side-Chapter 16

Summary: I forgot how intense this chapter was. I lied about fluff. I am a liar. 

Pairings: Bucky x reader

Warnings: Emotional and mental abuse. EMotional affair. swearing. angst. flashbacks. emotions.

Word Count: 1485

Flashback

“Мудак!” asshole, she screams. Her usually beautiful face twisted into something foul, red and blotchy, fake tears streaming down her face. She hurls a vase at Bucky’s head which he dodges artfully, hissing in anger as it makes contact with the wall.

“You’re acting insane!” he yells, dodging various projectiles as he moves toward her at lightning speed, grabbing her by the upper arms.

“You are a liar!” Ivanna spits. “You promised me a better life!” she struggles to free herself from his grip, failing miserably as Bucky’s strength effectively cages her.

“What the fuck are you talking about!” he demands, completely lost. He had walked through the door to a screaming and irate woman, barely able to make out a word she was saying.

“The party!”

Bucky stares at her, dumbfounded, unable to comprehend that a missed party would solicit this reaction from her. Sure, their relationship had not been perfect. She seemed perpetually unhappy with his proclivity for staying home. Not being comfortable among large crowds, he knew she had strayed somewhat. To what degree he couldn’t be sure.

He should have left. He was painfully aware he should have packed his bags long ago, but she was all he had left besides Steve. He sacrificed a two-year loving relationship to be with her, his reasoning be damned. He wasn’t going to give her up. He couldn’t.

“It’s a party Ivanna, ты смешной.” You’re being ridiculous, he says calmly, watching her face morph into one of pure rage.

“You are a fraud,” she hisses into his face. “I thought I was dating an Avenger! A real man! Someone with a future! Instead, I am doomed to stay at home and watch you mope. I can’t take it anymore!”

Bucky sighs heavily, her words stinging sharply in his chest. She was right. He wasn’t a man, he was a shell, a hermit, he barely left the house if not for a mission. “I’ll try harder, be better,” he mutters, the humiliation too much for him to bear.

She laughs scornfully, her blue eyes glinting with malice. “You are nothing! Nothing but a broken man. Good enough to fuck, not good enough to love.”

Her smile bright on her face, Bucky’s heart plummets into his stomach. Flashes of his life with Hydra swim in his head. She was right. Always right. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” he repeats over and over, his grip on her arms slacking.

“You are pathetic, James,” she says venomously as she rips her arms away from him and storms out of the house, leaving Bucky shaking in the middle of the living room floor.

Present.

Bucky ushers you to the couch in the common area. You’re acutely aware of him speaking, but it’s distant like you’re listening to him underwater. Your mind has gone into lockdown, scanning every memory you had for possible suspects. Every target, their families, every KGB and Hydra agent you knew, there were so many possibilities, so many people who could be holding a grudge. You were no angel, and your list of enemies was a long one, but mine? That was too possessive to be someone who hated you. A jilted lover maybe?

You snort softly, you could count the number of people you had a real relationship with, on one hand, so maybe a mark?

Agitated, you stand abruptly. Pacing the length of the common room floor, you clasp your hands behind your back.

“Doll?” Bucky asks calmly, inserting himself in your line of sight.

Your eyes connect with concerned blue ones, and you rein in your flaring panic. “I’m fine.”

Bucky quirks a brow. “Like hell you are!”

You make an impatient noise in the back of your throat, trying to sidestep him rather unsuccessfully.

“Tell me what’s happening,” Bucky demands.

You merely shake your head. “I need Steve,” you reply hastily, again trying to move around him.

Bucky’s arm wraps around your waist, halting your movement. “Stop. Breathe. Tell me what’s going on, I can help you.”

You weigh your options carefully. Even after your conversation with Bucky, you couldn’t find it in yourself to tell him what was happening. A part of you, a big part of you, still wanted to hold him at arm’s length, and you were smart enough to realize it was going to go away anytime soon. “I need Steve,” you reiterate.

Bucky sighs softly. “He isn’t here. Fury called him and Banner to assist with Natasha’s extraction. It’s just us and Tony. Sam’s gone home to Harlem. It’s the anniversary of his mother’s death,” Bucky replies, eyeing you with an emotion you can’t place. To your surprise he steps away from you, putting distance between you.

You puff out a breath, disappointment and relief mingling.

“I get it,” he says.

“Do you?” you reply immediately.

He nods. “I understand more than you think.”

You regard him for a moment, surprised at his restraint. Bucky was usually one to push if he thought someone was in danger, especially someone who was close to him. It was completely out of character for him to let it go.

“I’m here, y’know? If you need to talk. I know we ain’t on the best of terms, but I’ll protect you with my life,” he says seriously, and for some unfathomable reason, it hits you harder than you thought it would.

Your lower lip trembles, a weird sort of relief washing over you. You let out a sound caught somewhere in between a sob and a laugh and launch yourself into his arms, hugging him tightly. You’re grateful he didn’t push you away but was willing to give you the space he thought you needed.

Bucky goes stiff under your touch, then his arms tentatively wrap around you, returning your embrace with gentleness you had sorely missed.

“Thank you,” you mumble.

He grunts in reply, stroking your hair soothingly.

Your hands bunch into his shirt, crumpling the fabric. You’re clinging to him tightly, basking in every modicum of comfort he provides.

He pulls away from you slightly, swiping a thumb across your cheek. His eyes flicker between your lips and your eyes, naked emotion splayed across his face.

You’re suddenly incredibly aware of his proximity, of how close you are to him. How hard he is underneath your fingertips, the scent of his cologne in your nostrils. Your heartbeat grows erratic.

You step away from him quickly, clearing your throat, Your eyes downcast as he blows out a shaky breath. What the fuck are you doing (Y/N), your mind supplies helpfully, cursing yourself for the vulnerability you displayed in his presence.

“(Y/N) I-” he begins.

You interject quickly, “Thank you, Bucky, I’ll see you around.” With that you make a hasty retreat to your room, wondering what the fuck you were doing. Why did seeking comfort from him feel so incredibly right. The man had broken your heart into a million pieces. Shattered your faith in love. He’d destroyed your dreams.

Yes, you loved him.

He was inherently good, regardless of his actions. He saved people with little regard for his own life. He always had a kind word for a passerby. Even though life had not treated him kindly, he had worked hard to give himself a sense of normality, and he gave everything he had to his daughter.

Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck!

You loved Bucky Barnes. You always had, as a friend, but you were swiftly coming to realize you were still very much in love with him, and that startling realization sent you deep into the depths of panic. You didn’t want to be in love with him. You couldn’t be in love with him.

Shouldn’t it be impossible? He caused so much pain, so much damage. Yet when you looked at him, the tentative sparks of the love you had so deeply buried flared up into new life.

“Fuck!” you curse loudly.

It was too much. The note, Bucky, the phone calls. You couldn’t deal with it, didn’t want to deal with it. “God, (Y/N), get it together!” you chastise yourself. Groaning aloud, you run a hand through your hair. Tugging at the ends harshly, you try to calm your mind to no avail. Resigning yourself to the fact that you were going to have to face this, you march to your still half packed backpack. Rummaging around for a full five seconds before pulling out three bars of chocolate, you throw yourself on the bed and unwrap the first slab.

Chocolate solves everything. You could deal with this, would have to deal with this. If not the local grocery store would see a doubling in chocolate sales because Bucky was in your blood. He was mapped into your DNA, and you were finally realizing it was there he would stay, regardless if you wanted him to or not.

Tags: Are closed. My text post are beginning to break. xx

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in psychology class
we’re taught that borderline means destruction, means violence, means uncontrollable rage, means abuse
borderline means monster
but from what i have experienced
borderline means you’re more likely to be abused than abuser
more likely to be taken advantage of
because you don’t want to be abandoned
you need love, validation, approval
you’re frantic to please people so that you can feel okay with yourself
and every emotion cuts like a knife to the heart
when someone tells you you’re bad, or that you’ve messed up
your heart screams in pain
it burns, it squirms, it writhes in absolute agony
your mind begs “stop! please, god, make it stop, make this horror stop, if i have to endure another minute of this excruciating torture i would surely rather die!”
so you blurt out “i know. i’m sorry. i’m terrible. it’s my fault. i swear, i’ll be better.”
not only to stop your soul from being ripped apart by guilt, but because you truly believe that you have caused harm upon a person you love, and that you are a horrible, disgusting person
so that makes you vulnerable
because the pain of enduring the emotional anguish of feeling inadequate is more painful than the abuse that they inflict

Jumin Cheating Fan Fic~ Final Chapter.

Warning! This has some self harm/ suicide triggers!! do not read if that bothers you! - Admin Abby

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Also the song is If you don’t know by Five Seconds of Summer


Saeran felt anxiety feel his chest as you hadn’t been answering your phone. He had knew about what happened with a Jumin but had decided that giving you time was best. He had enough of guilt eating at him and immediately tracked your phone, finding that you were at your old apartment. He sped there, not caring about the dangers that could’ve happened. 

 Once he had gotten to your apartment he knocked several times but still got no response.

 "MC! Open the door! I know your in here!“ He yelled and got more anxious as time passed and you still hadn’t opened the door.

 He looked around and saw a small key in the plant you had beside your door. He quickly unlocked the door and raced to your room. The bathroom was blaring with music and the light was on. He banged on the door, calling out your name.

 "MC, open the fucking door!” He screamed, hoping you would hear him over the loud music.

 He kicked open the door and the horrific sight in front of him made him weak to his knees. His best friend, whom he had been in love with for the last four years, was lying on the floor bleeding to death.

 Rage had filled his gut. It was has all his fault. If it doesn’t for him, you would’ve still been here. Or maybe he was too slow? How’ve he let you get away so easily? How did you slip right through his fingers? He hadn’t gotten to your house in time. Your limp body was already on the floor, blood all over your clothes. You looked pale, lifeless. Hot tears poured out of his eyes as the memories of you flooded into his mind. Your beautiful smile and contagious laugh.

 The first time he had ever talked to you, he still regrets that day. The way he treated you now. He never knew that he would ever fall in love. He would crush anyone that hurt you. He held your light body in his arms as his tears dripped onto your pale face. He had called an ambulance and rocked your lifeless body in his arms. How had he let you slip right through his finger tips? He was used to people coming and going but with you it was different.

 I want you to want me to stay

 He wanted you to be with him. He couldn’t lose you. You were the person he was the most scared to lose. You had helped him though all his problems. You had believed him and had hope in him even when he did terrible things to you and treated you like you were worthless. You were all he wanted but you fell in love with another man before he had the chance to confess. 

 And I need you to need me to stay

 He needed you. All he needed was you to be okay. You still had a heart beat. He tried to stop the bleeding however he couldn’t control his tears and his sobs. The fear of losing you was becoming too real. He held you tight against his body and laid a kiss upon your forehead.

 "You idiot. I thought you were stronger than this. You saved me so I’ll the same for you. I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have let you go with that stupid rich kid. I’ll fix you like you fixed me. I’ll crush whoever tries to hurt you again.“ He choked as his sobs got in the way.

 The nurses had rushed in the house and picked up your limp body, placing it on the stretcher. 

 If you don’t know then just let me go

 Jumin didn’t know how to feel when he got the news of you attempting suicide. He felt his heart stop and his blood run cold. He wanted to rush to the hospital and see you immediately but he felt like such a coward. All his stupid mistakes could’ve led to your death. Just the thought of you being gone forever broke him. He didn’t deserve you. After everything he did, he knew you deserved better. Maybe he should just let you go. Let you be free. He had left you to deal with all the pain and suffering while he was with another woman.

 "Babe?” His mistress called out, placing a hand on his shoulder.

 He stood up and pushed her hand off his shoulder.

 "I have to go. When I come back I expect you to not be here. I don’t want to have this relationship with you where I do not reciprocate the same feelings. I am sorry.“ He stated before exiting the room.

 "Driver Kim, please drive me to the hospital. I need to be there immediately. I am in a rush, so please hurry.” He said and got into the back of his limousine.

 Time seemed to be going in slow motion while he was being driven to the hospital. Guilt was eating away at him. He would never forgive himself for hurting the person that was so precious to him. He wanted you. He loved you. He wouldn’t let you go if his life depended on it. He never knew how tight a grip he had on your heart. He had completely ripped your heart out and broke it into a million pieces. He hadn’t expected you to ever forgive him. He won’t ever forgive himself for hurting you to such an extent to where you thought that suicide was the only answer.

 As he arrived to the hospital, his heart raced. He rushed to your room after singing in.

 Saeran’s eyes darkened with anger as the saw him.

 "What the hell do you think you’re doing here?! You don’t deserve to see her! You fucking asshole! You’re a poor excuse for a man!“ Saeran yelled in his face as he grabbed his collar and pulled him down.

 "If she doesn’t survive I swear to god I’ll kill you.” He growled and swung his fist hard against his face, letting him go.

 Jumin winced at the pain and grabbed his cheek. “I know I do not deserve her, however I will try my best to make sure she survives. I will-“ 

 "Just shut up already. Your voice is irritating me.” Saeran growled.

 Go ahead rip my heart out, if you think that’s what loves all about

 Jumin straightened out his jacket and walked into the hospital room. His heart dropped as he saw your small frame on the bed hooked up to machines. He sat on the chair next to your bed.

 "MC, I am so sorry for everything that I’ve done. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I love you. I made terrible mistakes that I regret. I never meant to hurt you. I know I don’t deserve such a wonder person like you. I am sorry that I’ve caused you so much pain to the point of you finding the need to end your life. I know you are stronger than this. I need you to fight okay? I can’t lose you. I need you. The RFA needs you. Please just-“ he interrupted by sound of the heart monitor going flat.

 Tears started to fill his eyes realizing what that meant.

 "M-MC! No! Someone help!” He called out as he felt his blood run cold and his hands shake.

 Nurses and doctors rushed and lead out the door.

 He couldn’t breathe. He felt his whole world come crashing down. You were gone. There was no going back anymore. He could never fix his mistakes. His heart was beating fast and the world around him seemed to be blurred.

 There was no light at the end of the tunnel. Just a world of darkness that was swallowing him up. There was nothing left for him. Never in his life had he ever felt this much pain before. He never even had the chance to say good bye.

 The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.