sorry for posting this

vixx-songs-but-not-really list

special stages

solo stages

not-exactly-stages stages

keo duets (bc theres been quite a few ㄱuㄱ)

songs from plan v’s karaoke session

woW!! original demos!

others

anonymous asked:

Do you think Anders really thought the only good thing about him was his looks? And that everything else no one could possibly like...?

Well, it wasn’t quite just his looks. I think his charm and humour and flirtiness were also things that he considered to be ‘likable’ about himself.

But then again, I firmly believe that ‘fun and flirty’ personality to mostly have been a front for his fear, anger, and need for affection, as well as to help bury all of his past trauma. Yes, a bit of it is definitely him, but he’s exaggerating the ‘fun’ part of him to cover up all the other parts, the parts he doesn’t think others would like because he doesn’t like them. So pretty much everything he thought people would like about him were surface attributes; his appearance, and this persona he’d crafted for the purpose of protecting himself both from others and his part. Because if people didn’t like him, bad things would happen to him, plus his general need for attention/affection didn’t help.

And he loses that part, a lot of it, when he merges with Justice, because Justice isn’t one for covering things up or deflecting the ones that hit deeper than they were intended to. Justice can’t lie, not to others or himself, and I think that bleeds into Anders as well. His humour’s still there, of course it is, but he can’t just avoid everything with a joke or a well timed flirt or anything of the like. He can’t cover it up anymore because Justice can’t, and Anders ends up being forced to be more honest about all of it. Both to himself and others.

So he loses that. The flirts and jokes remain a part of his personality, but he can’t use them as a shield anymore. Those emotions he tried so hard to repress, so hard to pretend weren’t there can’t be denied any longer. And this anger, this fear, this need are all things he believes will drive others away as they’re the things he doesn’t like about himself. Because why would anyone want to put up with all the ‘ugliness [he’s] going to bring into [their] life’ (line from Legacy)?

So with all of this now on display, those parts of himself he liked no longer at the forefront but just as a normal part of him, all he had left was his looks. Which he eventually stops paying attention to as well, because it’s not important and looks alone aren’t enough anyways. The time he would spend on his vanity isn’t worth it considering he could spend that time on more important things, such as helping people. So then he didn’t think he had anything left.

Because he doesn’t see the good in himself. He doesn’t see how kind and selfless he is, helping those who most need it for free. He doesn’t see his passion, considering it to be an obsession, always afraid that he’s wrong, that it isn’t justified and that he’s just out of his mind (because he definitely has been gaslighted before). He doesn’t see how funny and charming he still is, because he’s comparing it to before when that was all he allowed people to see of him.

All Anders has ever been liked for, his humour, his body, etc., were surface things, put into place for good reason. Now, in his mind, it’s all gone. So he honestly can’t understand why anyone would find him likable at all. Because the few things he did like about himself are gone, and the things he’d spent so long trying to hide are now more of him than he would like. 

He doesn’t believe anyone would want what he really is. No one wants someone who wakes in the night, screaming, because of nightmares and bad memories. No one wants someone who clings so desperately for any kind of affection, because he’s been deprived of it for so long. No one wants someone who’s working for a doomed cause, who believes in something the world does not and is dangerous simply for wanting change.

That’s what he believes he is, and nothing more. All that good? He doesn’t see it. He only sees the bad, the things he tried so hard to hide with his looks and charm. And those, yeah, he basically did consider to be his only redeeming qualities.

And I believe that, because once he loses those, he believes himself to be entirely irredeemable and undeserving of even the simplest kindnesses, since he believes there is nothing worth liking about himself anymore.

Guys, seriously though. Are we gonna just act like this update wasn’t heavily telling of how abusive and manipulative Vriska still is? Terezi isn’t acting weird for no reason. Vriska very openly manipulates the whole conversation like.

She basically proves in her first few lines of dialogue that she hasn’t changed a bit. She still thinks of alternate selves as “fake” and pretty much writes off davesprite as unimportant.

Then we have Karkat:

He sure as fuck doesn’t sound as happy as “vriskagram” has painted him. In fact, it seems like he doesn’t feel like anyone but Dave and the Mayor give a shit what he has to say anymore. He’s obviously not happy with Vriska being in charge but she’s basically bullied her way into being the leader. Not letting him even have a say in anything anymore. Like he’s literally scared to talk anymore so much so that DAVE has to bring up that Vriska is being shitty and maybe needs to listen to his feelings.

And then we have Terezi. Do you guys remember why Terezi wanted to change things? What was wrong with her life? Oh right, she was guilty for killing Vriska, and that self-loathing lead to an abusive relationship along with a self-destructive spiral.

What’s going on here? Oh look, VRISKA IS EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATING TEREZI. She keeps pulling that “Team Scourge” and “I’m the smartest!” Crap on terezi, who sees through her bullshit, but is also being persuaded by everyone elses compliance to just shut up and agree. She even seems scared to want Gamzee out of the trunk? (which, what the fuck vriska? you shoved him in there with CORPSES?)

Now, I’m sure you’ve heard about abusers getting a group of people they are cool with so you feel crazy for questioning their abuse, right?

and

The sprites are totally loyal to vriska for some unknown reason. They are worshipping her and being super friendly. But something else bugs me about the whole ordeal.

Why did vriska prototype them at all? If she knows so much about how the future is going to work, why is she not just letting them all be revived via jane? She knows what the truth behind all this is. She’s “making the 8ig 8ad”. She is creating lord english in order to get the “secret 8oss”. She made arquiussprite cause she knew he was important, and also, how is she learning all of this? Is it Doc Scratch or is it someone *closer*? Namely, the one who was supposed to make LE in the first place? The one that’s scared of her and IN A FUCKING FRIDGE RIGHT NOW.

Vriska’s behavior is ABUSIVE and AWFUL. Just like it always has been.

anonymous asked:

What's worst, Sasaki's long term or short term memory?

Haise: Oh geez… They’re both pretty bad.  Saiko leaves post-its around the house to remind me to do things since I’m so busy all the time.

Haise: There are some big blank patches in my memory.  I forgot who Kuro and Shiro were for a while…  And I still can’t recall our childhood very well.

Kuro: Ahh, don’t worry about that right now!  I think I heard Urie and Shirazu arguing…

Haise: Oh.  I’ll be right back!

Shiro: … 

Kuro: Shiro…?

Shiro: Sorry.  I remembered something unpleasant.

rain-upon-the-moon asked:

Deborah the judge

then the land had peace for forty years

i. the palm tree is still there, between ramah and bethel—more wind-bent than the year before, the edges of the palm fronds curling and sere with the lack of rain. (it is like stepping into a place she thought gone from her, that she should return from war to still find the smooth stone on which she sat, the same jagged markings carved into the great trunk.) 

yet here again does she take up her court, and to her they come with their disputes–petty peacetime squabbles over oxen and children, quarrels too small for the lord in heaven to take note. The silence of her lord is like the silence after thunder, and she is left waiting for the next peal to shake the earth.

in waiting, she counsels as best she might. at noontide she rests her head back against the thick trunk, and dreams of armies, dreams of a god who heard his children crying out and sent them a mother.

.

ii. yael comes in the cool of the morning, bloody tent-pin on a length of cord around her neck (extolled above all women, her hand to the hammer) and kneels before deborah, saying, I am yet willing, what would the lord god ask of me? what does he require of his servant?

it is already done, deborah answers.

but there is strength yet in my arms, yael protests, touching the tent-pin; the blood is blackened and old, flaking, it comes away on her fingertips. I am still willing. I am still here.

it is a gift, deborah answers, because it is kinder than saying, be not greedy, yael, you have been given more of the lord than Israel will know for generations–be grateful.

yael goes away, her heart heavy and the tent-pin cast at deborah’s feet.

.

iii. the idols slink back among the children of israel, inexorable as crawling things brought in by the tide—asherah with her cow’s hips, baal with lightning clutched in his fist, and hollow, hollow as the wind. deborah speaks against them to those who come to her for judgement, until none come. 

lapidoth is still there when she returns to their tent, his hands rough with work and eyes dark and clever. how is the lord our god? he asks always, and deborah thinks her ancestress sarai must have laughed as he laughs, in those days when the lord did not go wandering away from his prophets.

he is quiet, deborah says, his children turn away from him, and he seeks one who is not an old woman to judge and lead them to him.

perhaps it is a gift, lapidoth says, and deborah goes still at the words; you have served him faithfully, and so to you he has given freedom.

deborah crosses to where lapidoth sits, and kisses his touseled hair, breathes in the smell of the goats and the sweat of his labor, the fennel-smell that permeates the tent. I was not in bondage, she murmurs, her throat thick. I was a beloved child in my father’s tent, and then I was alone. 

oh, beloved, lapidoth says, taking her in his arms, that is a kind of freedom too.