sorry for posting but idc

GODDAMNIT THAT WAS PERFECT AND I AM SO MANY EMOTIONS AT THE SAME TIME IDK WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT BUT LIKE 

FIRST OF ALL, CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW KILLIAN JONES JUST LOOKS MILDLY IRRITATED AT POTENTIALLY BEING BURNED AT THE STAKE?

AND EMMA SWAN BURSTS IN, IN TRUE EMMA SWAN FASHION. WITH ONE THIRD OF A PLAN AND A TON OF FUCKING LET’S DOOOOO THIS!

AND KILLIAN IS LIKE OMG IS THIS A FUCKING DREAM EMMA EMMA EMMA EMMA

HE FOLLOWS HER THROUGH A PORTAL JUST LIKE HE DID WHEN THEY FIRST GOT TOGETHER. ALWAYS FOLLOWING HER HOME.

THIS WAS AMAZING BECAUSE HE’S LITERALLY RIGHT ON TOP OF HER AND HE MUST BE HEAVY BUT EMMA’S JUST LIKE YESSSSSS MY PIRTAE IS BACK IN MY ARMS

AND THEY JUST HAVE EYES FOR EACH OTHER. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? REGINA AND HENRY HELP THEM UP BUT THESE TWO ASSHOLES

CAN ONLY LOOK AND TALK TO EACH OTHER AND CANNOT STOP FUCKING TOUCHING. THIS WHOLE SCENE, THEY’RE CONSTANTLY TOUCHING AND IT HURTS ME. LOOK AT THIS TENDERNESS LIKE THE FUCKKK

AND HER GIVING HIM HIS HOOK BACK BECAUSE SHE KNOWS HOW THAT MUST BE BOTHERING HIM AND YOU CAN TOTALLY TELL HOW INTIMATE OF A MOMENT THIS IS BECAUSE REGINA IS LOOKING AWAY THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE THIS IS SO COUPLE-Y AND INTIMATE AND THE FUCKING FUCK

AND STILL THEY ONLY LOOK AT ONE ANOTHER AND EMMA’S PUTTING HIS HOOK ON FOR HIM AND I JUST DIE BECAUSE HOW MANY TIMES HAS SHE DONE THIS ALREADY? EARLY IN THE MORNING, PUTTING IT ON FOR HIM BEFORE KISSING HIM GOODBYE OR TAKING IT OFF AT NIGHT WHEN THEY GET HOME AND HIS ARM IS DRAPED AROUND HER ON THE SOFA AND SHE JUST PULLS IT OFF AND I AM JUST IMAGINING A MILLION MOMENTS AND IT IS KILLING MEEE

THE APOLOGIES WERE FUCKING PERFECTION. 

AND THE FACT THAT THEY BOTH APOLOGISED FOR THEIR MISTAKES AND THEIR OWN FEARS IN THE FIGHT THEY HAD AND THE BOTH OF THEM UNDERSTANDING ONE ANOTHER’S FEARS TOO LIKE HOW PERFECT

AND THEN THIS. FUCKING THIS. I KNEW IT WAS COMING. I WAS NOT READY AT ALL. LIKE AND HE EVEN SAID BEFORE I GET THROWN INTO ANOTHER PORTAL AND LIKE REGINA AND HENRY LEAVE BECAUSE IT’S AN INTIMATE MOMENT AND THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT WHY ARE THEY SO PERFECT

AND THE RIGHT WAY THIS TIME HE SAYS. FUCK ME DEAD OK?

AND THIS SPEECH. CARVE IT INTO MY FUCKING SOUL BECAUSE IT CANNOT GET BETTER THAN THIS. HE’S ASSURING HER, PROMISING HER THAT SHE CAN BE CERTAIN OF THE ONE THING SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID OF HER WHOLE LIFE. THAT HE WILL NEVER ABANDON HER. THAT HE WILL BE BY HER SIDE, ALWAYS. SHE CAN BE CERTAIN OF THIS FACT.

THE SKY IS BLUE AND THE GRASS IS GREEN AND KILLIAN JONES WILL ALWAYS BE ON EMMA SWAN’S SIDE.

THIS LOOK KILLS ME. HE IS SO IN LOVE WITH HER AND I AM SO FUCKING HURT.

*THROWS THINGS* FUCK THIS. FUCKING FUCK THE SMILING AND THE CRYING AND THE PURENESS OF THIS MOMENT.

WILL YOU MARRY ME, HE ASKS. AS THOUGH SHE COULD EVER SAY ANYTHING BUT YES. LOOK AT HIS STUPID HAIR AND HIS STUPID EYES FULL OF HOPE AND HIS LIPS IN A HALF SMILE. LOOOOOK

AND THEN SHE FUCKING–SHE FUCKING KNEELS TOO. 

OF COURSE SHE SAID YES BUT FUCKING LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY ARE I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I HAVE BEEN BLESSED ONCE MORE TO SEE THIS HAPPEN IN THE WORLD.

THE PURE, WONDERFUL BEAUTY OF KILLIAN JONES AND EMMA SWAN IN LOVE.

THE FUCK IS THISSSSSS. THE SMILING AND THE FACE TOUCHING AND THE SMILING AND THE FOREHEAD LEANING AND THE SMILING UGHH

SHE’S MUSSED UP HIS HAIR AND SHE WON’T STOP TOUCHING HIMMMM 

THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT HIM WHEN HE’S NOT LOOKING? THAT SLAYS ME MORE THAN ANYTHING EVER. SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH. LOOK AT THOSE EYES.

LOOK AT THEMMM *THROWS MORE THINGS*

AND FUCKING SNOW WHITE AND PRINCE CHARMING WENT INTO A SLEEPING CURSE

TO SAVE HIM AND HE’S LIKE FUCKING FUCK BECAUSE WHO WOULD EVER AND HE’S GOT SO MANY PEOPLE WHO LOVE HIM NOW AND HE’S JUST OVERWHELMED

BUT THEY NEVER LET GO OF EACH OTHER’S HANDS KILL ME DEAD

I AM NOT A HUMAN ANYMORE.

MY BODY IS A PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR.

HELP, I NEED A HUG.

-A POEM BY A DECEASED FANGIRL

3

Feng Jiu x Dong Hua [8/?]: 三生三世十里桃花 Eternal Love ep.11

“帝君是我的救命恩人,我怎么敢骗你呢?”

10

we put these jellybeans on a scale when i was trying to think of all the things i like about you. and i was trying to decide what i needed to do. it means you riley. i choose you. and i really want you to choose me. i do. i always did. i have something for you too. you do? we have this one little life, and for a lot of it, we just blow around in the wind. but if we’re lucky and we believe that life knows what’s best of us, sometimes we land on the right person to talk to. i’m glad i fell into your lap. so am i. 

long personal post sorry lol

Something I think is really interesting is the parallels between cishet inclusionists and religious homophobes. Part of the reason I think I was so much more eager to identify as aroace rather than lesbian (besides the internalized homophobia) was that I was raised in the church. I was a go-to-church-every-Sunday child, I went to religious private school for my entire childhood and part of my adolescence, and I was a Bible Girl.

And deep down I always knew something I felt a little differently than all my straight peers, but I was a Good Christian Girl and Good Christian Girls Aren’t Gay.

And it was right about the time that i started grappling with my faith that I consciously began to question my heterosexuality. Changing your faith is hard, and for me, abandoning my faith meant losing a huge part of my identity. I couldn’t cope with the identity loss, with the fact that I had to re-evaluate everything I had ever believed (because I was the Bible Girl who took my pastor’s word and never questioned anything), and I had an identity crisis.

MOGAI tumblr was so appealing to me because it took so many of the same sentiments the church had instilled in me, gave them Progressive Names, and called them revolutionary. It was an easy way for me to shed my old identity, pretend to be progressive, but not have to actually re-evaluate any of the harmful things I’d been taught and had internalized.

The church taught me a lot of things about sexuality that I’m still unlearning today. 1) having sexual thoughts/feelings about someone else is wrong, that’s reserved for marriage (which is between one man and one woman). 2) Having lots of sexual feelings is wrong and you need to repent. 3) Having feelings for people of the same gender is either a choice you made to get attention or a result of sin. Perhaps being gay isn’t a sin, but doing gay things is and gay people exist because Eve ate the fruit and allowed sin into the world. Homosexuality is a result of sin. 4) Wanting to move fast in a relationship is wrong. Don’t kiss on the first date, don’t let men touch you (even if you want to be touched), any form of sexual expression is inciting assault and is sinful.

And it was easy for me to take MOGAIs principles and just slightly alter things. 1) having sexual thoughts/feelings about someone makes you Allosexual, and they have Privilege over The Aces. 2) There is a normal amount of sexual feelings to have + don’t have sexual feelings (from the church) = being ace is good, being Allo is bad. 3) Being gay isn’t bad, but it’s okay to be grossed out by gay people kissing and holding hands because of romance-repulsion and sex-repulsion. It’s okay if this doesn’t bother you with straight people, but only with gay people. 4) Aces are Pure and Good, and people touching you sexually and wanting to be touched sexually makes you Not Ace which is Not Good

Because so many of MOGAIs principles fit in with what I had been taught in the church. I didn’t need to reevaluate anything, all I had to do was slap a mogai label on myself because I wasn’t “really gay” like the Gay Sinners, and suddenly I wouldnt be going to hell anymore.

I know this post is jumbled and I don’t expect anyone to read this, but I’ve been thinking a lot about my personal issues and how to resolve them and figuring out where they came from is how I’m starting. So, MOGAI tumblr, from the bottom of my heart, thanks for being my knockoff homophobic pastor without the negative correlation and fucking me up even more.

anonymous asked:

Thanks for the deffense for Aang, blaming a 12 years old for the genocide of all his people or his unwilligness to murder was a unpleasing thing to read.

Right? These arguments are brought up almost every time someone wants to bash Aang or take him down a peg (they’re the sort of stuff that get echoed throughout the fandom). I think the idea that he is held on some pedestal is actually false though - he’s pretty controversial.

Of course, in terms of how they view his age or his responsibility w/ the AN Genocide, the fandom is kind of reflective of how ATLA itself deals with the issue. The fact that Aang is a child soldier is important in the show, it’s actually one of the most important facet of his character - he was even visually designed in a way that emphasized his kiddish qualities (really big eyes and head: Aang’s proportions were inspired by a 6 year old boy, so half the age he’s supposed to be).

But it matters most in that everyone around him tends to disregard it. The monks in charge of his education decided to terminate his childhood approximately four years before most other Avatars’ ended (with arguably good reasons), and his friends decided that, as the Avatar, he could no longer have fun with them (”But I’m still the same. Nothing’s changed.”). When he gets out of the iceberg, people blame him for the war as a matter of fact (”You turned your back on the world” or“Have you forgotten that you vanished, allowing the Fire Nation to wreck havoc on the world?” - they don’t care for an explanation, they aren’t trying to be fair), and even when they don’t blame him they still expect him to make things right (to defeat an empire and end a 100 years war like that’s a monumental task and he had approximately 0 training in Avatar stuff and 0 experience in war stuff and he just lost everything - his entire support system is gone: his culture, his home, everyone he ever knew and loved except for Appa). But yeah, to the rest of the world, his age doesn’t matter.

(“I can’t do it. I can’t do it.” “What happened?” “I must have taken down a dozen Fire Navy ships out there but there’s just too many of them. I can’t fight them all!” “But you have to. You’re the Avatar.” “I’m just one kid…”)

He’s just one kid, but truth is, the world is now so fucked up that nobody can properly get that. It’s been a hundred years since Aang’s time (since peace). The old people today grew up during the war (apart from a few exceptions, it’s all they’ve ever known): they, as a generation, probably had to grow up fast too, so I guess there was some idea of childhood innocence lost along the way, from them to their children to their grandchildren (etc.). Aang is a child forced to become a soldier surrounded by other adult kids and adolescent combatants: the difference between them and him is that they were born in this violent environment. Sokka, Suki, Jet, Zuko, Azula, etc. were all trained or trained themselves for war and responsibilities from when they were little. Kids fought this war, kids lost and kids won this war. This is how low the world has fallen. Nobody is no longer willing to be surprised at how terrible this is.

More than that: as the Avatar, Aang is kinda dehumanized by the people around him. General Fong thinks it’s okay to experiment on him, physically assault him or emotionally torture him if it means he can turn him into an efficient weapon in his war (he watches him cry and beg for mercy, watches the kid turn into a monster and all he can think is “it worked!” - that’s a good thing, that’s what was supposed to happen). People all over the world send him to fight their battles without remorse, without question (Water Tribe, Earth Kingdom, White Lotus). A whole city wants him to die a horrific death for a crime he committed in another life. He’s twelve, and he’s asked to let go of fear, guilt, shame, grief, to let go of all his personal attachments for the sake of the world (and he does - even if for just a moment).

Zuko couldn’t bring himself to end Zhao even after all he did to him, he couldn’t watch him be swallowed by the Ocean Spirit without extending a hand, trying to save him. But he watched a kid he knew die, shot with lighting, and showed no emotions (a kid he fought beside, who saved his life twice, who wanted to be his friend - a kid he helped to kill): for him this was only the fall of his nation’s greatest threat. He came to understand the atrocities done by the Fire Nation, to others and to himself, and he confronted Fire Lord Ozai: “My father who challenged me, a thirteen year old boy, to an Agni Kai! How can you possibly justify a duel with a child?” and “It was cruel, and it was wrong!” - but he still had no qualms about sending another kid, even younger than he was back then, to the very thing he thought was so cruel and so wrong. He had no qualms making fun of his unwillingness to kill.

(Why didn’t Zuko do it? He knew the atrocities his father was about to commit, and he had the opportunity - a golden opportunity that would never present itself again. Destiny, really? Is your idea of what “destiny” should be worth risking the world for? I still think the truth was that he couldn’t bring himself to kill someone who meant so much to him for so long.)

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  • Leo: Greed+Sloth
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  • Libra: Lust+Gluttony
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