sorry for how bad it looks

Would You Be So Kind (Con x Reader)

Requested: Artsy!Con drawing his muse in the library bc you’re just so dayum beautiful to him

W/C: 1176

Warnings: Cursing, bad writing, Connor is so OOC im so sorry u gh

______________________________

“Jesus, how are you okay right now? We just…we just ran a fucking mile…” you panted, leaning against the gym wall. Connor raised an eyebrow, glancing behind him to confirm that you were, in fact, speaking to him.

“Well, I mean,” he shrugged, trying to scrape up an answer. He didn’t really know why he wasn’t a hyperventilating mess, truly. He was sweating, but he looked like a desert compared to how the rest of you were soaking. “I liked to run when I was younger, I guess. People always told me I should put these long things to use,” Connor looked down at his legs, and you could have sworn you saw him smile just a little. If it were anyone else, he probably wouldn’t have given the time of day. You were different, though. He’d catch you staring when he would draw, and you worked on partner work with him when everyone else was paired off, and you greeted him when he passed you in the hall. You made him feel like his presence was special, and his life felt less shitty when you were in it

“Oh, thank God,” Connor sighed with relief as the whistle shrieked to signal the end of class. He turned on his heel with a gentle wave, ponytail bouncing as he walked toward the boy’s locker room. Lord, he was pretty.

Even when he was drenched in sweat, you found him intriguing. He’d be walking laps in the gym, or whatever it took to look like he was participating in class, and it never failed to make you smile. He’d have doodles of cubes on his arm or paint-stained hands most days, and it acted as something you’d laugh about as you did sit-ups or stretched.

People talked about Connor Murphy sketching by himself under the bleachers as he smoked, or behind the school at ungodly hours. While you’d never seen him in the act, the rumors made your heart flutter. The passion he had for his art always had you in awe, and you’d always wished for the day that he showed such passion for you.

If only.

“Fuck,” Connor mumbled, stopping abruptly and spinning on his heel. He scanned the gym for you and half-jogged back, glad to see that you hadn’t moved. “Hey, uh, are you doing anything after school?” He was looking at his feet, gently kicking the gym floor with his worn out Nikes. “I’m, uh, trying not to completely flunk out of senior year, I guess, and I have a trig test tomorrow,” Connor lowered his voice, even though there wasn’t anyone around to hear his request. “If not, it’s whatever, you’re just one of the only people I know who isn’t a complete imbecile or asshole or-”

“I’m free after school. Meet me in the library?” You chuckle in disbelief. Connor Murphy was asking for help. Connor Murphy was asking you for help. He nodded slowly.

“Library. After school. Can do.” He repeated, backing off toward the locker room again. “Thanks.” he gave a thumbs up before scurrying off again.

Things were looking up, it seemed.

———

The library usually had a calming effect on you. The air conditioning, smell of books, and utter silence made for a usually serene environment. However, you could feel your heart practically jumping out of your chest as you waited for your (hella cute) acquaintance to arrive.

Fumbling with various papers, you looked up as the boy came through the door. He looked exhausted, and maybe a little stoned, but you could never really tell with Connor Murphy. He plopped across from you at your little table, barely looking up to acknowledge you as he began digging through loose papers in his bag.

“Right,” Connor exhaled, tossing a black notebook onto the table with a nod. “Hey there,” he waved his hand a bit, meeting your eyes.

“Hey there,” you shot finger guns, trying to move on to math to hide your awkward tendencies. “So, trig,” you pulled out a sheet of paper and sketched a circle. “This is the unit circle, and it basically shows different- Con, are you listening?” He looked up from his notebook, which he was now writing in.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Keep going,” he nodded.

“So you can split it into four quarters, and this here can stand for values in degrees, decimals, fractions and- Connor?” you stopped again, raising an eyebrow. You could tell he was sketching furiously, despite his protests.

“I’m listening, chill,” he insisted. It was obvious that trigonometry was the last thing on his mind as he made bold strokes across his lined paper. Rolling your eyes, you reached out to grab it.

“What could you possibly be drawing that can’t wait for later?”

He leans back, holding it to his chest. “It isn’t finished yet, he mumbled with a frown. "Just keep talking. I’ll, uh, try harder to pay attention,” Connor said with a solemn tone. Maybe it was his weary mood, or weed, or the environment, but you’d never seen him quite like this. He was calm, almost raw as he sat across from you. His body was now still as he listened, void of the usual leg shaking or idle tapping on the table. The only movement you’d see was when he would nod or shake his head, hair bouncing. It made you giggle, which made him smile.

- - - - – - –

“So, I can just plug in these formulas and I’ll be fine?” Connor asked in disbelief.

“Yup. Foolproof. Almost.” You shrug, but Connor was already back to drawing whatever it was. Were you boring him that much?

“Good to know.” He glanced up quickly before going back to his sketch. “Er, thanks again. math doesn’t suck ass all that much when it makes an ounce of sense.” he sighed, now inspecting his work.

“How does it look?” You smile. He was taken aback, like he didn’t expect you to ask.

“Beautiful. Stunning even.” Connor slid his notebook across the table. You took it in your hands, fingers brushing over the cheap lined paper. It was you, thoroughly explaining something Connor had probably already managed to forget.

“Wow..” you felt your face heat up as a grin spread across your face. “Connor, you’ve got serious talent,” you gape in awe, too stunned to be flattered. “Like, I knew you were good, but…wow,” you melted a little.

“Well, I had a gorgeous subject. It helps when what you’re drawing is nice to look at,” he chuckled with a shrug. “and you’re not so bad,” he admitted.

“Do you wanna do something soon?” you twiddled with your thumbs under the table as he took back his sketch.

“That doesn’t sound horrible. I’ll see you around, [name],” he stood, slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder with a grin.

He was head over heels for you, the one kind enough to fall for him. It just hadn’t totally hit him yet.

anonymous asked:

i get really anxious and depressed when listening to your songs and looking at your art nowadays because my ex-best friend (he turned out not caring about me in the end) loves your work and always draws fanart of your songs so i always get reminded of him. your songs are so good though so i feel bad i'm sorry ghost-mom please forgive me

IT’S OK it’s perfectly understandable! i know how that feels ahahah

anonymous asked:

so i see all this dom connor stuff but like when you two first started getting you always topped,,, like he would always finish before you and you just wouldn’t finish so eventually he realized this so he looked up ways to please you so one night after you two wink wonk he grabs you by the waist and starts eating you out and you’re squirming so he grabs you and growls into you and that’s how you two found out he’s vv dom- 👺 (this is so bad i’m so sorry)

👺this is very very GOOD
-🐙

anonymous asked:

I hope it doesn't sound rude and I hope you don't hear this fifty times a day but... have you ever considered going on therapy ? Maybe it could help you ? You sound kinda depressed and maybe you really need a doctor for your mental health... I am really sorry maybe I should not say this but I am just really worried about you and I hope you find someone or something that help you feeling better. ❤

Oh yeah i totally should.. My mental health is absolute bonkers but I legit dont know how to get help on my own. The swedish mental healthcare system is not only underpaid and outdated, but incredibly slow. Getting a diagnose is really difficult and tbh I’ve only had bad experiences, so I really need help to get it but I live by myself and have no friends so what do i do..? I sit here an hope it passes which I know it wont..

Im sorry anon im really thankful you look out for me but I can’t do everything by myself even if I would want to. I really need someone to help me. But i do appreciate you are concerned and want to help ❤

8

#ProudOfLouis ♥

♡  support just hold on.  ♡
stream: spotify, 8hrs playlist.
watch: music video, mv playlist.
buy: itunes (uk) (us), amazon (uk) (us), google play (uk) (us).
vote: how to.

8

 ★ HS YEARBOOK AWARDS

BNHA + Most likely to end up in jail | lbr it’s mineta but i’m not giffing that turd MONOMA NEITO
(Arrested for doing sth stupid, but would be released the next day. Alternatively—tax evasion.)
Asked by @shipeo

6

Happy Birthday @akaclairetemple!!! I love you and i’m sorry about the last cap

if you’re stressed about your grades/future: “you are young and you will take your damn time.”

A few days ago I had an emotional breakdown about my future (surprise lol.) It’s not as though this doesn’t happen daily, but it’s dawned on me that I couldn’t even discern my true desires from what my lack of self confidence was trying to feed me.

I allowed self-deprecation to get the best of me, and it turned an erroneous decision into one that seemed the most “right for my situation.” I had a plan. But I was not confident nor happy with that plan, so I fell apart. 

Parked in front of my dad’s house, I voiced the concern that–although I thought was a result of flakiness–actually stemmed from an acute source of insecurity. 

My dad then turned around and told me something that I’m positive will stay with me forever. 

“Don’t you dare feel like you have limited options based on your past mistakes. You are not limited and you will never BE limited. Don’t rule any opportunity out right now. You’re not running out of options, you just haven’t found all of them yet. You have so much power left.

I asked him what power a teen/young adult could have, and he looked at me with so much conviction and said, “Youth. You have youth, and youth itself holds so much power. You’re only 17. I wish I were 17. I wish I had that much more left in me, but I don’t. You are 17, you are young, and you will take your damn time.” 

I initially interpreted this as a projection of his own regret. But now, I interpret it as empowerment. I think about it whenever I feel completely overwhelmed by all that I have left to do. Why should I consider quitting now? I’m only 17. Many of you are also of high school, college, or graduate school age, and we have such a long way to go. We’re only so young, and compared to our parents–people who have so many decades of experience under their belt–we don’t know the half of what life has to offer us. And that’s ok, because we have so much left to experience. 

In college, I want to explore different courses. I want to find something that’s right for me, but in order to do so, I need breadth of experience rooted in thoughtful discussion and exposure to a range of things. Although I love art, I want to obtain a liberal arts education as well. And finally having said this, I realized that whatever I thought was “right” was only only a thinly veiled attempt to evade my insecurities.

Records don’t matter. Grades are trifling in the grand scheme of things. My future job is only a portion of what will comprise the best days of my life. Bad teachers, vague assignments, tough environments–I can trudge through the difficulties and I will prosper, because that’s what I can do as someone with youth on my side. This isn’t to say that someone who is older doesn’t have the same privilege. My dad wants to continue to program, and all the more power to him!

But that only exemplifies how much time we have as people who are so young. We have a leg up, and I’m certain that we need to utilize the extra time, stamina, opportunity, and youth that we have to make decisions based on our own situations–not on what other people expect of us, and certainly not according to what our stress and anxiety wants us to believe. 

(The last bit is incredibly difficult, I know. But it’s a process!) 

This isn’t to say that I’m not going to worry and stress. I will! Hell, I’m stressed right now just writing this. But I’m improving. 

Ironically, this studyblr doesn’t thrive in standardized education. This studyblr struggles not with content, but with structure. This studyblr is really nervous about the coming year. But even then, I still have so many choices that it’d be insulting of me to become my only limitation. Obstacles are not impenetrable–not when I have so much power on my side.