sorry for any english mistakes btw

  • Zero : So this is Christmas.
  • Kaname : Good observation.
  • Zero : A time to forgive and forget.
  • Kaname : I guess it is.
  • Zero : Yuuki would love that.
  • Kaname : Most definitely.
  • Zero : ... I still hope you choke on blood.
  • Kaname : And I can't wait for you to shoot yourself with the Bloody Rose, like the idiot you are.
  • Yuuki, hidden and crying : One step closer, this is a Christmas miracle!

Hello everyone! I post this little thing I wrote today. I’m sorry if there is any mistake but please consider English is not my first language! I tried my best. There is no smut in this one (sorry haha) but I’m planning on writing some sequels so probably you can find smutty scenes in there. The story is set in Holmes Chapel, Christmas Time.  Hope you like it. 

Oh and btw, I got inspired while listening to Still Falling For You by Ellie Goulding. I think the song sets the atmosphere for this… beginning? 


At some point that day I could stop staring at him, that is what I thought every time our eyes met. I really liked how his glowing eyes squinted somewhat when he grinned so proud and satisfied. His left arm protectively enclosed a woman, who, I believed was his mum. His snob aura was certainly something which had to be explored. Many times I had been told how nice he was, what a wonderful personality he had.

My gaze landed on him. This time, his pouty lips tasted the yellowish content of the glass he was holding.  His veiny hand grabbed it gently, as if it was so fragile it could break any time. It was then when his eyes and mine met again. He caught me looking at him once more, as if he was some sort of work of art. He was, indeed. That patterned blue jacket made him look like one. He smiled so big, a kittenish smile which invited to something else. There were many secrets untold behind those cheeky grins. I craved some kind of interaction further than simple eye contact. I felt my cheeks burn at the same time my heartbeat sped up the moment I saw him talking to the waiter and looking at me. Some seconds later, the waiter approached me in a very discreet way.

“This drink is for you. He paid for it” the man slightly tilted his head as if he was indicating Harry, not wanting to be too obvious, and slid the glass across the counter. I looked at him once again, and mumbled Thank You just to get a wink as a reply.


“Did you like it?” a very deep voice startled me. I lost track of his presence the moment I started checking out the messages my sister had sent to my phone. Then I looked for him but could not find him anywhere. “Sorry if I scared you” I smiled, bashfully. My lips parted since my brain encouraged me to respond, to add anything, but I simply couldn’t. He was quick, though. “You a fan or something?” What the actual fuck. A fan? Well, I did not consider myself a fan. He smiled faintly, but still frisky and charismatic.

“Sorry. You scared me. I didn’t expect you to be this close, here, I mean, talking to me. Sorry. Umm. Thank you for the drink. By the way” Was that everything I could say? I felt and sounded like a complete idiot. “No, well, it’s not that I don’t like your music but-” he interrupted me.

“I get it. No worries. It’s actually fine” his beam didn’t go away and his magnetism began to draw me. Was this magic what everyone referred to? Was this feeling the feeling everyone talked about?

“Was just that you were looking at me as if you were asking for a picture. I have some sort of radar to detect those situations” Was he joking right? I smirked dreamily, not trying to look too uneasy. “Just joking” he confessed and continued “How are you doing? Some relaxing time alone before tonight’s dinner?” He addressed me as if we had already met somewhere and sometime before. That feeling. His eyes didn’t leave mine while he spoke. He was very outgoing, someone to instantly get on incredibly well. I examined his hair, short but still long enough to… oh shut up. My mind was running wild, every thought impregnated with those mildly pornographic scenarios.

“I’m good thanks. You?” His eyes were so piercing and intense. So green. I bet he knew the effect they had in other people, in other women. In me. The guy was charming and his presence filled the whole space.  

“I’m very good. Thank you. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out some day. I mean, you live near?”

What the hell? He was asking me out. So simple but so disturbing for my inner peace. The plot had just twisted dramatically, and, I hope, beautifully too.

“Yeah I do. I mean I do live here. A couple of blocks away, near the high school. Why should I hang out with you? We don’t know each other. Do we? I mean, I don’t know” In fact I did know him, but he did not know me at all. What kind of question that was? But I plainly didn’t know what else to say. I was playing the stupid part.

He looked down at his shoes quite amused with the awkward situation. Those boots. Smiled. Then look up at me again, his eyebrows raised.

“That’s why I’d love to hang out with you. I want to get to know you. The way you were looking at me was so intriguing” This last word was pronounced with a deeper tone.

“That’s fine. But when? Excuse me I’m being so weird and odd.” We both laugh at this at the same time.  

“You don’t have to worry a bit. That’s not a big problem, or is it? We can meet the day after Christmas, if you like. Like we can have lunch somewhere in Cheshire, or we can stay here if you prefer.”

“Sounds really good. I don’t actually mind, believe me. ”

“Umm so… I’ve got to go like in a couple of minutes or so. My family is leaving and I would love to stay here with you but you know, family meetings… Umm would you mind giving me your number? So I can call you and give you all the details of the place, time, and everything.”

My hands shook as I listened to his words slipping out of his mouth. He took the phone off his pocket and typed his password before handing the phone to me. In that moment our hands brushed and his skin burnt against mine. It was so electric.  “Can you please add your number to my contact list?” He softened his tone.  

“Y/N” I would be lying if I said I was not about to faint. Because I was.

“There we go” I saved all the information and gave the phone back to him. He glanced over the screen.

“I’ll see you in a couple of days. Nice to meet you, y/n.”

“Same here, Harry. Nice to meet you.”

“Next time you won’t be so nervous. Will you?”

“Probably not.”

We waved goodbye, our smiles so wide and positive. Curious about what might happen from that moment onwards. I was having a date with Harry Styles. And I didn’t know where it could go from there. Or maybe I did. 

Happy you’re here (2/?)

Summary: You didn’t actually know who you were, rescued from H.Y.D.R.A, you suffered Dissociative Amnesia. The Avangers helped you, now was time for you to help Bucky.  

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,725

Warnings: Cursing(a lot, like… A LOT), Fluff(?), claustrophobia mention, dead body mention, violence mention. 

A/N: Ok, I tried, I SWEAR. Well, I’m just bored so…. Yeah. BTW, there’s a Bucky P.O.V. Sorry about any mistakes, as I said on part 1, english is not my natural language (Also, let me know if you guys want me to try to make Y/N genderless, since the characters reffer you as “she/Her”) 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Originally posted by aestheticimagines

You did what?” Bruce almost screamed at Steve

“I introduced Y/N to Bucky. You’ve met him before, he wouldn’t hurt her!”

“Of course he wouldn’t. She would kick his ass.” Natasha said with a smirk while crossing her legs. Everyone was there, minus you and Bucky.

“See?” Steve knew she was right; it was hard to someone to beat you up. Impossible, actually. Your reflexes and speed were really good, even Pietro wouldn’t be able to harm you. Since you always knew where he was appearing, not even you understood how.

The abilities you acquired from your years in H.Y.D.R.A stayed, like the scars. To remind you that you’ve done things before, you just didn’t remember what.

“That’s not the point, Steve. The point is that anything can trigger her to remember what she had passed! Nat, do you remember how you found her? Wanda, do you remember what you saw?” Both woman nodded tensely

“She can’t see that… Never.

“So what do you want us to do? To keep her or the Soldier locked in their rooms? The Captain here didn’t do something wrong. I saw Buck in the corridor with Y/N. Again, that weird person gained one of us. For the first time, he wasn’t looking like a grumpy angst teen.” Bruce sighed while massaging the bridge of his nose; he had a soft spot for you. Maybe because at the start you would always go to him and Steve when you didn’t know how to use things or what to do, when you had cute silly questions, when you discovered something new or etc.

“I know, Tony. However, she already has trigger words. We discovered three in these past years. She had nightmares that kept her awake for months; the memories were trying to come back. All of them had to do with H.Y.D.R.A, but there aren’t only words. Anything that remind her of that can trigger the memories.” He stopped for a moment, seeing that he got everyone’s attention “And I’m not only worried with her. Bucky also may suffer because of this. We all know him, he couldn’t even look to ours faces last year. And if he find out he might help her remember? And If the trigger words aren’t just to make her remember her past, but also turned her into the weapon?”

“Is a big IF, doctor.” Clint said, remembering how Bucky’s mood changed as soon as he saw you “She’s good to people, maybe is one of her powers or just how she is. But just like us, he also needs her.”

“What you’re still doing here, Princess Merida?” Your laugh broke the tense silence, FRIDAY had warn you about the reunion you had to go, after showing all the tower to Buck, that was still on the door. As if he didn’t know if he was supposed to enter the room.

“Actually, Steve called all of us, Y/N” Natasha voice made you turn your head quickly to the woman getting up to catch you as you hugged her

“Peter!” You screamed, hearing Sam and Pietro laugh

“Peter?” Wanda asked while glancing at the men she was sitting next to, Vision, her boyfriend.

“I think Y/N made a pun about “Black Widow” using Mr. Parker as a reference.”

“You thought right, my dear evil Smurf.” Steve pulled Buck to enter the room, but he didn’t know what to do. First, because he was too amazed by how you were opened to everyone, how each people smiled when seeing you. Second, because he didn’t know why he was there since it looked like a friend’s reunion.

“Guys, I called you to warn that Bucky is staying with us.”

“Bubbles, let him sit, first. You’re making him uncomfortable.” People laughed while Steve rolled him eyes, letting go of Buck’s shoulders. He almost let a sigh of relief come out of when he heard you coming to rescue him.

“Thank you.” He whispered, sitting in the chair you indicated, right at your side. Pietro glanced at him with a not so friendly gaze, but he got distracted when you winked at him, smiling sweetly

“Any time, love” He didn’t know why he was smiling all goofy. Steve was happy to see you there, making him truly smile in less than a minute.

Bucky was still paying attention to you when Steve continued to talk, making both of you stare at the Captain.

“Well, you all know Buck- Yes, Y/N?”

“Where was I when he first came?” Steve blushed, remembering what he send you to do, so you didn’t get caught in the small war it had between all of them.

“Remember that mission in Brazil?”

“You mean the one you send me to, that I stayed almost three months chasing a non-existing thing? That one?” Everyone laughed at your bitter answer, you almost punched Steve when you returned.

“Yes, that one.” He sighed “Well, I didn’t call everyone just for informing of Buck, unfortunately. Natasha and I found a base that might been used by H.Y.D.R.A and that is possible being activated again, and we are going to need help with this. Y/N, you know I wouldn’t call you for something involving… it. But, we fear that they might have files of you.”

Bucky glanced surprised at you, he didn’t thought that where you had suffered was H.Y.D.R.A, just like him.

You smiled comfortably at Steve, nodding calm with your head.

“I know, Stevie.”

“You don’t need to go if you don’t want you, nether you or Bucky. We are just informing, since involve both of you…”

“I’ll go.” Bucky said, a weird protective feeling growing inside his chest towards you.

“Well, I never run from a good fight, anyways… When?”

“Tomorrow, we need to make sure they don’t have your files.” After all, you were their most important, dangerous weapon, years had passed, and still, you hadn’t discovered all of your powers.

“Okay… Buttercup, I’ll introduce you to Buckbeak, c’mon.” You got up, when seeing that there wasn’t more anything to discuss. Buck looked into everyone’s small smiles when he also got up and you grabbed his wrist, knowing that they were going to talk something more. You always knew. “Sam, you still own me a rematch.”

“You lost?!” Pietro gasped, making you laugh and stop at the door, seeing Sam look at his own shoes embarrassed

“He ran.” You left the room full of people laughing, just like you wanted.

“You were captured Hydra?” He asked while you jogged to catch the elevator, you waited him entry the machine to answer.

“Well, as far as I know. Steve said that Nat rescued me from one of their oldest base. But as I said, I don’t remember.”

“Did they… Mess with your brain?” You stopped for a second, thinking about that question. Did they?

Your head started to ache when flashes of weird and old machines appeared, you saw metal, bright lights, loud screams and pain.

Mostly, pain.

Bucky studied you for a moment, feeling bad when seeing your eyes shut quickly as if you were in pain, frowning your brows and heavily breathing.

“I-… I don’t… Maybe… I can’t remember, sorry.” You whispered, slowly opening your eyes, remembering that you had nightmares about that kind of stuff before.

“I’m the one supposed to apologize, Doll.” A smile covered your lips when hearing his worried voice

“I’m O.K, Buttercup. It happens sometimes. Bruce says that are just some memories trying to force their ways to my mind. Anything can trigger them, so… Yeah”

“Like… Trigger words?” You snapped your head at him, surprised with the precision of his words.

“Exactly. Until now, we found three. Two of them are in Portuguese, the other is in Russian. Nat found it when she was angry at Tony, so she kind of snapped and said “walls” in Russian.” You started to walk towards the living room, next to the kitchen. “FRIDAY, can you please put Harry Potter for us?”

“The AudioBooks or the movies, Mrs. Y/N?”

“The movies, I’ll show him the books later.” Buck settled where you indicated to him, when you were about to sit on his side, he took the spot, making you sit on his flesh arm side.

“Sorry. Huh… What happened?” He said, trying to keep you talking, since he liked your voice. It wasn’t calm, but it also wasn’t energetic.

“Well, apparently, I fainted. But the nightmares were the worst, at the time I just had gazes at what was that. When I slept, I dreamed about a tiny room. It was so small that I couldn’t even sit. I had to be on my feet for what looked to be days… I felt so god damn claustrophobic!” You laughed, trying to make fun of what you had passed. But the memories of that dream reminded you of the worst part, the one you didn’t tell him.

You weren’t alone there.

There was a dead, stinking, cold body pressed against yours. It made you want to throw up, but at that time, you hadn’t eat anything, so there was nothing to come out of you.

“Harry Potter? Uh, the cat is turning into a woman.” He tried to take you out of those sick thoughts, and he did it.

“Minerva McGonagall, she is badass as fuck! You’ll like her!” Bucky smiled at you when you punched – lightly – his shoulder before bringing your feet to the couch, starting to pay attention to the movie.

“So… Everyone seems to like you.” Bucky said, glancing at you when seeing you chuckle a little

“Not everyone. Vision don’t like me.” He arched a brow in confusion “I mean, is not like he hates me. Is more of a… Caution feeling? I don’t know, actually. But I think he is afraid that I snap or something like that, because of my past.”  

He controlled his curiosity, since you told him about the trigger words, he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable

Bucky P.O.V

In the third movie I understood the nickname, but that didn’t stop you to keep me there watching all the movies. You said that no one liked to watch the movies with you, because you would repeat the lines with the movie.

But I thought it was lovely, especially when you turn your gaze at me just to smile and say random things about the movie or the books. It was night before we could even tell, and you just yawned, getting up after we finish all the movies.

They were great.

“Now I’ll leave you alone, you need to get some rest for tomorrow’s mission.” You said, smiling and offering me your right hand, as if you knew exactly that I didn’t like my metal arm “Are you sure you want to go tomorrow? I mean, you just got here.”

“I want to go.” You nodded with your head and, as I did the whole day, I followed you. Walking on your heels to the room’s floor, you stood on the doorway of my room, waiting for me to enter it

“If you want or need anything, my room is the last one of the corridor, ok?” You gazed at me, stocking a piece of your hair behind your ear “Goodnight, Buck.”

“Goodnight, Doll.” You smiled gently at me and turned on your heels before jogging to the final of the corridor, entering a room that – as you said – was yours.

“You’re already charmed, tin can?” Sam laughed, making my smile fall. I felt him coming close, but I hoped that he just passed to his room and left me alone with my small good mood “Don’t worry, it’s normal. We would have a problem if you didn’t liked her.”

I just groaned in answer, making him chuckle and pass through my door to go to his room.

I just sitted on the bed, thinking how grateful I was that those people accepted me there after all I’ve done. But what stayed in my head, was Y/N laughter. The soft, sweet chuckle of yours.

No, Y/N.” Steve said in his Captain tone, making you frown your brows in pure frustration

“So, you make me wake up early to go to this mission, just so I could stay in the fucking Jet?”

“And you are not flying it. Just to be clear.” I heard Clint say from the pilot part, you huffed and crossed your arms in front of your breasts. God Damn that was cute, especially when you were looking down on a man twice your height.

“Captain, you betta give me a good excuse for me not to punch you in your fucking amazing nose right fucking now.” Natasha laughed while entering the Jet, I was already on my way to one sit far from the others, thinking that they might not be used to me on a mission and will want their space.

“It might trigger your memories?” He tried, but the only thing you did was huff in anger

Everything can trigger my fucking memories, Rogers! The stupid walls can trigger them, the stupid sky can trigger them. Hell, your butt can even trigger them, but you don’t see me stopping squeezing it, do you?!” Everyone on the jet laughed, Steve and me included. “The point, Steve, is that I can’t just run of everything and hide under my bed, scared to even look in the mirror. I did things, I’ve been through things, yes. But that is the old me, someone I don’t even remember and that by the scars, I didn’t want to be.” I looked at my hands, feeling those words enter my skin like blazing metal.

“Bruce will stay on the jet, why can’t you?”

“Because dad number two is a doctor and he can’t fight without turning green, big and grumpy, neither can he hold a gun.”

“Dad number two?” Steve’s brows frowned as you sighed

“I made a fucking life-changing speech, you just catch that?!”

“Who is ‘dad number one’?”

“Who do you think, papa?” I chuckled at your ironic, sassy, kind of sexy, side

“Steve, Y/N won’t stop complaining until you let her go. And she’ll be entering that place while arguing with you about entering there.” Sam went to your rescue, as if he had seen that before and knew where it was going to end “And you also know she’s right. She’s a grown ass woman, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Us finishing the mission before than expected?” He chuckled as you high-fived him

“And you are completely out of your mind if you think that I’ll let Wanda and Pietro enter there without me.” You whispered, but I was able to hear it, since both of you were closer to me than to the others.

“Fine! But when you get nightmares, don’t come to me!” He huffed, making you smile widely at him and jump into a bear hug.

“Thanks, dad!” Steve tried to contain the grin that was forming in his face, but ended giggling anyways.

“Don’t call me that, I’m too hot to be a dad.”

“If isn’t the captain feeling himself today, look at that!” Sam said loudly from his sit, making everyone laugh.

“I hope you don’t mind, not that I actually care, but I’ll use you as a pillow.” You said, sitting on my flesh side, aware of my problem.

“So is just the super soldier appear and you replace me, love?” The silvered hair boy said, suddenly sitting on her other side

“Oh, please, Pietro. You know you’re irreplaceable! But his biceps are bigger, like, fuck! Look at this, is bigger than my head!” You played, lifting my arm as I felt a smirk play in my lips

“Are you telling me you don’t think I’m hot, anymore?” He placed his hand on his chest, as if he was hurt “You cold woman!”

“Stop fighting over Y/N, Speedy. And you Barnes, you just got here and was able to finally make her flirt, congratulations.” Tony said, and as I looked into you face, I saw you sweetly blush, huffing and rolling your eyes.

“Oh, please, fuckboy. Nine out of eleven words that I speak I’m flirting”

“I thought it was cursing.” Sam said, earning giggles from you

“What do you think are the others three?”

So i was clicking trough the first episode of Yoi again (because i was looking for the ring on Victor’s left hand,which is btw really there AND THAT MEANS THAT HE’S EITHER DIVORCED OR WIDOWED PLS READ THE DESCRIPTION BY helly-watermelonsmellinfellon) and then i noticed a tiny detail which could have been a hint from the beginning

So after Hisashi talks to Yuuri about his future ,he just looks outside the window where…


Uh,more couples …

…couples and oh and look ! A couple with a poodle !

Yes,the poodle is clearly here because of Vicchan (the irony with the name lol) but what about the couples? Oh man,this boy is obviously also searching for Love,as if this show isn’t already about all kinds of it…

We also saw that Yuuri is interested in romantic love (Yuuri definetely had a crush on Yuko) but since Victor showed up every single emotion seems to be focused on him.And if there won’t show up any girl all of a sudden and becomes a new love interest then either :

1. Yuuri becomes like “Ah yeah,a lover is not that important to me anymore :)”
2. Victuuri

Or they just talk about it and he will find someone else in the future

But seriously tho?? Love is a big deal in Yuri on ice so they have to talk about at least…

P.s : Sorry when i’m just talking shit but i wanted to write this down

Okay, let’s talk about Zervis in the Present

  In the last days the FT fandom are talking a lot about one of my OTP’s, Zervis, thanks to the last chapter that tells their love history, that happened a century ago. (That I just always had be sure that existed, tbh, but this is a thing to another post).

 This is hella cool, tbh, so many fanarts and all, but a question has been raised for really many ppl.

 If they loved each other that much we saw in the last chapter, why we see this hatred eyes here:

How I said, they are one of my OTP’s. I love them. But lets not romanticize everything, like “Oh, they would support anything each other do, not matter what this is” or “They wouldn’t do nothing that could hurt each other”.

 It’s sad to be the one who say that, but: This is not how love works. This is not how a relationship works.

  Putting aside the love they feel for each other, their ideologies are in opposite sides right now.

 Zeref is in his final breakdown. After like three(actually, four, now?) hundreds of years of suffer and sorrow, of losing things and loved ones, he just can’t  stand in this world anymore. He is crazy, - and even out of his mind. He is not randomly making this to pass the time. This isn’t a choice for him. His  last ray of hope, of light, disappeared. Now, the only thing that guides him is his hatred for the world that rejected him.

 Mavis knows this very well. She CARES about his breakdown. But, beside the love and care she feels for him, let’s remember WHAT is he threatening. He is threarening Fairy Tail. He is threatening the world that her family, her friends lives, dream and make their future. To Mavis, Fairy Tail is the only truly home that she ever met. Even after death, she always protected the guild. Fairy Tail is her family. And now, he is the one threatening this.

They are not only each other loved ones. They are fucking badass mages, and have priorities.

What doesn’t mean they don’t love each other anymore, though.

How this chat started, after all? 


 All the mind connection thing. You just realise how sublime is their relationship? They didn’t were together for so many time. But, they just know each other better than anyone. They just feel each other mind and feelings. Some ppl have said that this is because they are so fucking powerful. I don’t think that. It’s more than it. 

 This is not about just magic and mages. I have seen real-life couples and friends communicating with looks, finishing each other sentences and knowing each other  actions before they do anything. It’s not only about time together. My actions still surprise my relatives that have lived with me my entire life.  No, it’s about bonds. Sometime, you have this “click” when you met someone.  That thing that immediately link you with that person, like you have know each other your  entire life, your entire lives.  Some people call it destiny, some people call it coincidence, I use to call a little kind of miracle.

 Zervis relationship just fits like this. They just know each other. They know what their feelings are about, what their thoughts are about and what their hearts are about. They just know.

If it’s not enough to you, we have this:


Okay, let’s talk about EACH one here.

First, we have Zeref’s phrase. 

 The thing is: He just knows she still loves him. He knows that she cares about him, and he is just… Sad about it. Because, besides his madness, he KNOWS he is mad. The interesting thing about the contradition’s curse, is that a part of his mind stills untouched. He knows Mavis, he loves her. And he knows that he is out of his mind. He realise that he can’t be the person she deserves now. He thinks he isn’t even a person now.

 He is telling her to move on. In his mind, he is a lost cause. He is telling her to give up of him, because he just have given up of himself already.

And then we see Mavis reaction.

She is so sad. She is sad because she knows that she can’t reach him anymore. She can’t be on his side to help him. She couldn’t be. And now, what she sees is the person that she loved most, buried in misery. He is telling her that there’s nothing she can do for him now. And, we could tell looking at her face, she knows he is right.

But, she still doesn’t give up of him. Nope, instead she promises to give him what he wants more: annihilation. It isn’t just a threat. It is a promise to rid him of his curse.

  People are questioning and doubting of Zervis because the chapter 340. For me, chapter 340 was when I just confirmed I was right in this ship.

It just didn’t make me even a little less sad though

I See You

Member: Kai

Genre: Angst, Fluff

A/N: Ayo! It’s been a while since the last scenario I wrote, but this idea popped into my mind and I couldn’t help but write it XD It got way more longer than I expected, but I’m kinda proud of this one. Enjoy! I’m sorry if you find some mistakes btw, since English isn’t my first language I may mistake some words :P


You always pretended to be a cold person.

Acting like a thug since you were just a kid. While other girls liked to play with their dolls, had their bedrooms all painted in pink and had a dream to become a princess, you preferred to ride bicycles, play with boys and get your clothes dirty because of your wild way to play.

You always hated wearing heels, skirts, dresses, or using any kind of makeup – you didn’t even know how to apply it. Because of that, girls thought you were weird and preferred to avoid you; practically all your friends were boys. It looks like they feel more comfortable to be around you than the other girls.

Because of your boyish way to be, people’s first impression was that you were lesbian.

But they were wrong.

Among your closest guy friends, there was one in special that made your heart bump fast every time he looked at you. The boy’s name was Kim Jongin.

You first knew him on the first year of High School. As most of the boys would normally do, he quickly felt comfortable to be around you and you turned friends. This way that boys would act around you didn’t bother you; you’d rather spend time with them talking about all the shit you want and laughing then to discuss stupid things like “I want to buy a new dress” or “Look at the new makeup I made” with girls.

It was hard not to fall in love with Jongin. He was hot, really hot, intelligent and kind. The whole female population of the school had some crush on him. But these girls weren’t as close to him as you were; they didn’t know him as you did. You knew every side of him; the dorky way of his to laugh when he’s having fun, his love for chicken, his gently smile, the way he’d smirk at the girls he’s flirting with, his passion for dance.

You fell for him. Deeply.

But you knew that it was a platonic love. For him (and for all the boys you hang out with), you were just “the cool girl”. They’d never look at you and see any kind of beauty or attraction, and it wasn’t different with Jongin. Why would they like a girl that dressed like a boy, spoke like a boy, always acting like a boy? Although you have never said that, you knew that they thought you were lesbian.

That’s why you never had the courage to confess to him. He would probably laugh at your face and think you were joking. You knew very well the kind of girl he liked – girly, or at least someone that would look like a girl.

The thought of you two together was just pathetic. So you kept all your feelings for yourself.

But nowadays, things were getting harder.

You were sitting with your friends on a restaurant eating some junk food as you would usually do on Fridays. Speaking about useless things, laughing hysterically at some stupid joke – that was the kind of conversation you’d have.

“We were planning to watch some horror movies today after practice.” Jongin said while you attached a delicious and not-so-healthy hamburger full of bacon and cheddar. “Do you want to come along?”

“Not today.” You said. “I have to study to the tests.”

ChanYeol raised an eyebrow. “Since when you care about studies?”

“I know it looks like I am lazy, but actually I want to get in a good college.” You said. “You guys should study, too!”

Baekhyun then laughed. “Okaaay, Miss Intelligent. I’ll just pretend you do really care about it.”

“Just shut up.” You said, rolling your eyes.

Sehun that was quiet all the time said: “You’re going to lose great movies. We were going to watch the Insidious trilogy. Since you’re the only girl I know that wouldn’t freak out and scream like stupid.”

“You should invite Tao instead.” You winked jokingly and they laughed.

All were going fine like that until Sulli stepped inside the restaurant.

You immediately felt the anger grow up inside your chest as you watched her walk towards a table with her other friends. Sulli was simply the prettiest girl in the school, the kind that every boy wanted to date.

The comments on your table started. You tried to just ignore, but then Jongin’s voice bumped inside your ears.

“Damn, she’s hot.” He said, staring at the girl.

You blinked, suddenly the hamburger you were eating didn’t feel so tasty. Even he liked her?

You looked at Sulli. Her flawless fair skin, her short and smooth black hair, her pink lips, her sweet smile.

She was everything you weren’t.

You put the hamburger back on the plate and stared blankly at the table while the boys talked about something you didn’t care. A weird and hurtful feeling slowly grew up inside you. It wasn’t a new how you felt unconfident about yourself, but you didn’t expect it would hurt like that.

Suddenly feeling a hurry to get out of the place, you said some stupid excuse to them and left. You realized how Jongin frowned at you, confused, but he didn’t ask you anything.

Arriving home, you locked yourself inside your bedroom that was a complete mess. You didn’t want to feel weak, but that was the only thing you felt while curling yourself under the bed’s sheets.


You stopped in the front of the dance studio.

Holding the books in front of your chest, you walked in and asked the receptionist where the room 25 was. She told you, and you walked towards a stair to the second floor.

Jongin forgot some books with you that day, and you judged it was important to give it back since he had to study for the tests. So, you decided to come to the dance studio he practiced in, among with Sehun and Lay, a friend that were a few years older than you.

You could hear the music playing through the hallways. Suddenly interested in a sweet melody of a piano, you stopped in front of one of the rooms and watched inside through the window.

A class of at least fifteen ballerinas was practicing inside the room. You observed their smooth movements, the way their bodies moved among the song.

Their flat stomachs, long legs, perfect posture and discipline of movements. They had full control of their selves.

They were everything you’d never be.

“Hey, ___ !” you heard a familiar voice call. Jongin walked towards you, wiping the sweat of his face with a towel. He had a smile on his face. “What are you doing here?”

You gulped, trying to act normal. “Nothing.” You suddenly remembered why you were here and handed him the books. “I mean, you forgot these things with me. I just came to give it back.”

Jongin’s smile grew wider as he took he books. You loved the way his eyes would close into two adorable thin crescents. “Thank you so much! I was searching for these books, but I couldn’t find it nowhere. You’re the best!”  

You offered him a small smile with no happiness. Jongin would always act like that, would threat you kind. But he acted like that with everyone.

Of course, he’d say different things for the girls he’s interested. He’d never say those sweet things for you.

“___, are you okay?” Jongin suddenly said, bringing you back to reality. He had an amused expression on his face.

“Uh? Y-yeah, I’m fine.” You murmured. He frowned.

“Don’t lie to me, ___. I know there is something wrong going on, since yesterday afternoon at the restaurant.” He approached you and lowered his tone voice. “What’s bothering you? You know you can trust me to talk about anything, right?”

You gulped and pressed your lips together. Please, stop being nice to me. You though to yourself. Do you know how much it hurts me?

You sighed and opened a fake smile. “I’m fine, Jongin. Now, go back to practice. I don’t want to bother you.”

You walked down the hallway, not letting Jongin say nothing more.


You stood up in front of the mirror.

The only clothes you wore were your panties and bra. You analyzed yourself as someone that analyzes a death frog.

Your stomach wasn’t flat. Your legs weren’t long. Your skin wasn’t smooth, and why your hair was so messy?

You had a feeling that everything about you was terribly wrong.

You suddenly felt stupid for walking inside that store. Almost as if you were doing something criminal, you took a light blue dress (something anyone would never imagine you wearing) and decided to try it, not before checking out if there was someone that would recognize you.

You sighed and wore the dress, adjusting it in your body awkwardly. The last time you wore a dress you were, like, ten years old? You stared at your reflection on the mirror, frowning.

You just didn’t fit in that dress. Not that it wasn’t your size or something, but that girly and cute piece of clothe just didn’t fit your image. Your face, your hair, your body… not even a inch of you was pretty or delicate like that. Delicate as someone that would be attractive to boys…

Attractive to Jongin.

You suddenly imagined Sulli inside that dress. She would fit perfectly, and would look flawless…

In a way you’d never be.

You suddenly felt disgusted. What the hell were you trying to do? You took the dress off, feeling ridiculous, feeling idiot. How dared you even try to fit on that? You wore your clothes back, wanting to go out of that stupid store as fast as you could.

When you were about to give the dress back to a saleswoman, you heard a high pitched voice call your name.

It was Kim Sun Hee, a girl from your school and her friends. Because of your close relationship with the most popular boys in the school, it looks like the girls decided to just hate you. When you were with the boys, Sun Hee had no courage to approach you, but things were different when you were alone.

“Excuse me, is that a dress what you’re holding?” she asked, a cruel tone in her voice.

“Nothing of your business.” You said in an icy voice tone.

“It’s really a dress!” Sun Hee said, ignoring your phrase. She laughed, and her friends followed her. “Looks like someone is trying to be a girl for once! The scene is so stupid that I can’t help but laugh. Do you really think you’re pretty enough to wear something like this?”

Normally, you’d fight back. You’d even beat her. But her words made the bad feeling grow up stronger inside you.

She’s right.

You ignored Sun Hee and gave the dress back to the first saleswoman you saw. You suddenly couldn’t help but run away from the store – run as fast as you could, run away from the stupid image of yourself on the mirror.

But you couldn’t run away from yourself.


Days passed by. Weeks, months.

Day by day, you hated yourself more and more.

The day before the incident at the store was one of the most humiliating. Sun Hee, this bitch, appeared on school using the same light blue dress you were holding. No one knew, but the way she looked at you was enough for you to see that she did that exclusively to hurt you.

And she did; because Sun Hee looked perfect wearing that dress, in a way you didn’t.

You tried to hide it, but at some time, people realized that something was wrong with you. The constant dark circles around your eyes, because you always cried before sleep. Your sudden loss of weight, because you suddenly didn’t want to eat anymore – and when you ate something, you would vomit all the food. The way you distanced yourself from the others. From Jongin.

Your mom asked what was wrong; your friends asked what was going on, Jongin asked what was happening to you. You just smiled and said that everything was okay.

But there is always something that would make you feel even worse.

Jongin had forgot a biology book with you again – it looks like he had some kind of memory loss or something. As usual, he was at the dance studio practicing after school. Despite the fact you were avoiding him to death, you thought he would be searching for it, so you went to give it back.

You walked to the second floor, trying not to look at the rooms full of perfect ballerinas that would make you feel down – although the studio was quite empty that evening, because of the bad weather. You reached the room 25, where you knew Jongin would be.

The moment you silently opened the door, your body froze.

Jongin was holding a water bottle, a smile on his face while he talked to…


She smiled back to him, looking as beautiful as ever. You saw a sparkle on her eyes while she looked at him. They were close from each other, and the way Jongin smiled at her…

They were both beautiful. The perfect couple. It felt like receiving a punch on the face.

You practically ran out of the room before they could realize your presence – but it was too late, because Jongin saw you. He frowned, confused, and ran after you down the hallway.

“___, wait!” He said, but you didn’t even look to him. What Jongin does takes you by surprise: he holds your wrist and makes you enter an empty room, closing the door shut.

He looked at you, an arm holding the handle of the door, not letting you go. He had his brows furrowed, an amused expression.

“What’s happening, ___?” he said.

You avoided his gaze. “Just let me go, Jongin.”

“No, I won’t let you go.” He said, and you realized that he was a bit upset. “I won’t let you go until you tell me what’s going on. ___, everyone realized that you’re not okay. You’re avoiding us, you look sick… you’re not the same anymore.”

You looked down to your feet. That’s it. He really thinks I look sick, that I’m so unattractive…

“I’m tired of seeing you act like this, ___! So, I’m not going to let you go until… hey, wait, you’re crying?!”

You quickly swiped the tears away from your face, but not quick enough. Jongin widened his eyes, completely confused.

You froze when felt his arms embracing you in a tight hug. He made you rest your face on his chest.

“Yah, did I say something wrong? I’m sorry!” he said, his voice pointing some shyness. He had never hugged you before. “It wasn’t my intention. But I am… I am preoccupied with you, ___. A lot. I don’t want you to be like this.”

You felt more tears quietly falling down your cheeks; had no strength to hug him back. Why were you feeling so sad?

“Those girls are still bothering you?” Jongin continued, tense because you stayed in silence. “If it is the problem, I can call the boys and we resolve this. We won’t let them bother you.” You keep quiet. He gulps, not knowing what to do. If you weren’t too engulfed in your own sadness, would realize how his heart was beating fast and how his cheeks were flushing red. “Are you feeling tired because you’re studying too much? I can help you studying if you…”

“I am the problem.” You suddenly said in an almost-whisper. Jongin frowned and leaned back to see your face, without letting you go. He felt a pang I his heart when saw that you kept on crying.

“W-What?” he stuttered.

You gulped; had no courage to look at his face, so you just stared at his chest blankly. “Look at me, Jongin. I am the problem. Everything about me is just… wrong.” You said.

Jongin’s eyes widened, starting to realize what you were trying to say. “What are you…”

“Stop acting as if you don’t know what I’m talking about!” you suddenly screamed, letting go of his arms. “You said yourself that I look sick… that’s because I am too ugly for you to see something good on me. Just look at me! I am a complete joke. Compared to these other girls… compared to Sulli, the girl you were so happy with some minutes ago, I am nothing!” The tears fell more and more, blurring your view. “So, please, stop acting so nicely to me, just stop trying to…”

What the hell are you talking about?!” Jongin interrupted you, incredulous. He put his hands on each side of his waist, staring at you. “ Ugly? Fat? How dare you say those things about yourself? How can you compare yourself to these girls of the school?”

He shook his head, still incredulous. His words didn’t help you a bit. He suddenly widened his eyes, falling onto realization. “That’s why you’re so skinny, ___? You are not eating… because you think you’re fat? You just stopped eating?”

You looked down at your feet. Your silence was enough for him.

Jongin gulped, suddenly feeling the sadness beat him. He was hurt seeing you hurt like that. How could he not see this? “___, look at me.” He asked softly.

You had no courage to do so. Jongin sighed, and your eyes widened when you felt his warm hands cup each side of your face, making you look at him.

His eyes were full with guilt, which you didn’t understand why. He gently swiped the tears away from your cheeks with his thumbs.

“Why are you doing this to yourself, ___?” he asked in a smooth voice, filled with preoccupation and sadness.

His gaze on you was so intense that you felt your cheeks flushing, and you couldn’t help but look away. “B-Because I am too fat and ugly… I’m not pretty or delicate. I am just… this.” You almost whispered.

Jongin closed his eyes for a few seconds and sighed, looking at you again. “That’s right, you’re not as delicate or girly as other girls. But that’s what makes you special. These girls of the school… they are all the same. There is nothing that makes them different, but you have this thing. I just don’t understand… I always thought you were proud for being different from them.”

He gulped, and you suddenly saw his cheeks flushing slightly as he continued. “Please, don’t say you’re fat, because you are not. You’re perfectly fine. That’s not good for your health to stop eating, ___! There is nothing wrong with your body; there is nothing wrong with you. You say you’re not pretty as you wanted to be, but I know you’re also wrong at it.”

You frowned; what was he trying to say? Jongin’s cheeks now had a deep shade of pink, while he bit his lower lip. “You always act so boyishly, but I see the adorable way you pout when you’re confused, or the cute little smile you open when you’re shy. I see the way you play with your hair when you’re thinking, the sound of your laugh it’s like music to my ears. I see you. I see that backwards this tomboy image, you are a delicate girl, prettiest than any other from that school. You don’t need to use dresses, makeup or heels to be beautiful, because you’re beautiful just the way you are. I see this beautiful girl more than anyone, and I love this girl more than anyone.”

Your eyes widened while he talked, your heart bumping so fast you thought it was going to stop. What did you just heard?

“W-What did you…?”

Jongin opened the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen, although his cheeks were still blushing and you knew he was more than embarrassed. “You heard what I said.” He leaned in, getting so close to you that you could feel his warm breath against your face. “But please, promise me you will take care of your health. Please, promise me you will love yourself, and I promise I will help you whenever you need.” He whispered.

You hesitated for a moment, but then slightly nodded once. “I… I promise, Jongin.”

And with that promise, Jongin pressed his lips against yours in the sweetest way possible.


The next Monday, the whole school went on shock when Jongin proudly walked through the hallways with his hand intertwined with yours.

You wanted to run away in embarrassment – not because of Jongin, but because every single person in that school would stare at you while you walked. When Sun Hee saw you and Jongin, you saw how angry she got. When you passed through Sulli, her eyes were filled with sadness.

Jongin explained to you that Sulli had confessed to him some days ago, but he refused her feelings. Sulli was kinda stubborn, so she went to the studio to talk to him. He acted nice to her, because Jongin’s not the type to be rude with people, and that was all.

Yes, he said she was hot, but Jongin is a boy, right? He had the right to think other girls were attractive.

It doesn’t matter now, anyway.

“Relax, ___.” Jongin said to you, seeing how tense you were.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered back to him, looking at your own feet. “Is just that I’m not used to get this much attention.”

Jongin laughed and cupped one of your cheeks. “They’ll get used to it soon; they will have to get used to it, because I’m not letting you go.”

He kissed you there, in the hallway, everyone looking at you. Jongin didn’t feel embarrassed because of you; he was letting it very clear that you were dating him.

“Waaah, I love happy endings!” you heard a familiar voice say.

Your face was all red when you realized that all your friends were standing there, looking at you two. Jongin chuckled and put his arm around your waist.

ChanYeol crossed his arms. “So, you finally got the girl! I was already getting upset at you.”

You frowned. “What do you mean?”

Baekhyun smiled. “Everyone already knew that Jongin liked you, girl.” But then he pointed at you like an angry ahjussi. “Yah, I heard you just stopped eating! You better not do it, did you hear? Or I will force the food down your throat!”

KyungSoo rolled his eyes. “Baekhyun, you’re so gross.” He then opened a cute smile at you. “We were preoccupied with you, ___. But you’ll take care of your health now, right? I can cook for you if you want.”

“I can take you to that bubble tea shop, so we can eat that delicious chocolate cookies.” Sehun said, then looked at Jongin. “I mean, if you don’t mind.”

“That’s it, we’ll going to make you really fat.” Baekhyun said. “You’ll be as fat as a whale. Don’t doubt us!”

You laughed, suddenly feeling stupid for distancing yourself from them. All these buys were just trying to make you feel better, just preoccupied with you.

“Thank you, guys. A lot.” you said, still smiling.

You couldn’t feel more thanked.

That weekend, Jongin made you confess to your parents all your problems. You finally realized how you were making them also preoccupied with you. They took you to the doctor, because your health was really fragile. Jongin stayed by your side as he promised when the doctor said that you had a big eating disorder.

And he stayed by your side, always telling you how beautiful you were, how he loved you, until you finally had courage enough to say you loved him too. You still had a big way forward until get free from your problems, but as much as Jongin were with you, supporting you, you finally started thinking that you couldn’t be as ugly as you thought.

But it wasn’t so important. Because you had Jongin, you needed nothing more.


Scenario done! It was going to be really depressive and sad, but it just turned into a fluffy thing I don’t even know why. Feedback is always acceptable! Please show me your opinions on this one!

Thanks for reading <3

✧ Lussuria´s Pink-Interviews (official) ✧

I somehow got the KHR/Varia-flu again…That´s why I wanted to translate the Pink-Interviews you could find at the end of the volumes. But somehow, I couldn´t find any of them scanlated/translated on the Internet, so here you go! Especially for those who aren´t able to buy the volumes :D (Btw, I translated from German to English. Sorry for any mistakes that may occur! And I don´t want to scan in any images due to copyright issues. Hope you understand.)

Disclaimer: I do NOT own KHR! All rights go to Akira Amano-sensei.

Lussuria´s Pink-Interviews

(appeared in KHR! Volume 22)

Interview 1: Superbi Squalo


Yaayy~~Welcome to Pink-Interview!! So..I want to, even though not regularly, interview my Varia-buddies in the Pink-Interviews. Are you fine with that, Boss, Squalo, Belphegor, Mammon, Levi and Gola? Oopsala, right now there´s just one of them available, sorry.


Lussuria: Oh hohohoho! Like I said, Pink-Interviews is here!! ♡ But why are we even starting with you, Squalo? Why not with me?! Geez, I´m really really upset now, honestly…!

Squalo: Voooiiiii!! Shut up, you piece of sh..!

Lussuria: Watch your mouth, buddy! You must not say that word. Wait a moment…today´s topic is…I see, „Squalo, the genius of the swords“.

Squalo: Voooiiiii!

Lussuria: Did you hear that? „Vooii“ is something he only says when he´s in a good mood. Am I right, hot-tempered guy with excessive blood pressure?

Squalo: What, my blood pressure is totally normal!!

Lussuria: Well, it´s hard to cast off such an image. You and the boss always scream „You scum!!“ and such. You just have to be hot-tempered!

Squalo: Just shut the fuck up and start with that fucking interview or else I slice you up into little pieces!!!

Lussuria: Okay, okay! So, at first, tell me something about this photo! [The photo shows Squalo as a kid, probably 7 years old in a fence costume. There are lying a couple of unconscious kids on the floor] Oh, weren´t you just an adorable, little fellow there? Did you learn fencing back then?

Squalo: Oh, I just beat the shit out of these guys at that time.

Lussuria: Lordy! Does that mean it was the beginning of your career as a villainous swordsman? Whereas I rarely came into fights, maybe at most when I wanted to bake the dolls of the other girls in the oven!

Squalo: Tche, you haven´t changed much since then, huh?

Lussuria: Come now, playing normally with dolls is so boring! Speaking of, what about this photo? You appear taller here. [In this photo, you can see Squalo in his teenie years, around 14 years old with short hair, posing on a railing (of a ship?) and carrying a backpack.]

Squalo: Hm, at this time I went abroad for the first time to challenge various swordsmen.

Lussuria: Eeehh, are you serious??! You were so young but still that dangerous already?! Unbelievable, I only won a bodybuilding competition back then!!

Squalo: Vooii!! You talk a lot about yourself considering this being my interview!!

Lussuria: Okay, so much for your past.

Squalo: Vvooiiii, are you listening?! Wait, is there another photo? One showing one of my great victories?

Lussuria: Uuh, let´s just end this now?

Squalo: Come on, show me!

Lussuria: Should I? Fine, if you insist…[The photo shows Xanxus beating Squalo up]

Squalo: VVOOOIIII, who the fuck took this photo?!

Lussuria: Not me! That was Belphegor!! Alright, that was it for today!!


That´s it! Following up, there are Pink-Interviews with Bel, Fran, Mammon, Xanxus and Levi. Hope you enjoyed as much as I did :D