sorry everybody :(

me: [enjoys my garbage]

some pretentious fuck: excuse me, but that thing you are enjoying has no real intellectual substance and I don’t like it and you are stupid for liking it

me: [enjoys my garbage MORE AGGRESSIVELY]

anonymous asked:

long haired yurio.

there he is!

A Little Too Drunk Starters:
  • “Oh, HELL no! Not in MY bed!”
  • "We watched some horror movie.. I think it’s called, ‘the Teletubbies..’?”
  • “Pants are just an illusion.”
  • “Shut the fuck up a pikachu onesie does so suit me.”
  • “Hey, man, I hate to tell you this, but I think your dog’s cheating on you..”
  • “Hey, the cat crashed your car.”
  • “I thought today was your birthday, so I rented a bouncy house, but then I remembered it isn’t, so now we have a bouncy house.”
  • “It’s not a mattress, it’s my kingdom and you are encroaching on it.”
  • “[NAME]’s a VIP at that one strip club….. What’s it called again… 'Golden Corral’?”
  • “I’m bleeding?!”
  • “I have to tell you a secret…”
  • “You think it’s important that I lost my shirt?! You think it’s important?! I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S IMPORTANT!!! CALLIOU CAN’T FUCKIN’ TIE HIS SHOES!!!”
  • “I need at least seven sweet and sour sauces or I’m fucked.”
  • “I was pretending to be a ninja and the blade of the knife just flew right off and broke the window.”
  • “Look, man, I didn’t mean to pee on you.”
  • “Thanks for letting me room with you… By the way, vodka makes me gassy.”  
  • “You want to go to Taco Bell?”
  • “I lost [NAME]. Have you seen them?”
  • “Wow, you look so much better when I’m drunk. You should try it more often.”
  • “I CAN’T SLEEP WITHOUT A LULLABY!!”
  • “Hello, 911? Are you still awake?”
  • “Jesus told me to do it.”
  • “I’m really sorry I’m so creepy everybody…”
  • "This is awful. I am inventing electricity, and you look like an asshole.”
  • “How many nutrients do you think there are in dog biscuits? I already ate, like five.”
  • “HOLY SHIT HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET SO TALL? WHAT THE FUCK?”
  • “Hamsters have feelings, too..”
  • “Who convinced me to come here?”
  • “The dog looked so lonely.. So I took it home.”
  • “I’LL PROTECT YOU! I’M BATMAN!”
  • “Look at all this snow. Imagine if it was sand, but still cold. No wait, warm snow. Man, that’d be cool..”
  • “You’re not very hot, but maybe after another beer or two..”

Owari no Seraph Relationship Chart translated

The black boxes are everyone’s names and the white ovals by vampires give their progenitor rank. (Crowley’s does say 13th because it’s his official rank, even though we know that’s not his actual power level.)
All of the paragraphs are just little summaries about some characters, there’s nothing new.

Dear Evan Hansen HCs

- When they were younger, before they started fighting and their relationship turned sour, Connor used to be shorter than Zoe and she used to give him piggyback rides everywhere (their parents hated it, they were scared that they would fall or she would drop him)

- Jared still uses XD faces while texting, nobody knows if he does it ironically (he doesn’t know either)

- Evan gets really stressed out about messing something up when he writes by longhand, which is why he prefers typing over anything else. There’s more control, and less room for mistakes

- Jared is the kid who can derail a lesson by asking a series of questions about something vaguely related and getting the teacher too caught up to notice they’re wasting the class (sometimes he’s actually interested in what they’re talking about, he just has a lot of questions and Talks a Lot™)

- Evan thinks that puns are the funniest things in the world, especially terrible ones (Jared secretly agrees, but he’s the type who’d do finger guns after telling one)

- Connor is too indecisive and can’t decide what haircut he wants so he’s just been letting it grow out for the past few years

- Zoe’s favorite color is actually yellow, but she thought indigo would have looked cooler (it did)

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