sorry euo

warm winters are always a forewarning of something dangerous
after all, we had our first date on a warm winter evening
two days before Christmas and I felt like I was floating
you were older. you told me you didn’t want a serious relationship but the entire time you were staring at me like I was a galaxy full of stars.
we sat in your car drinking tea and I told you I didn’t get coffee because it makes me shake like a leaf in the wind
I remember thinking how your car was clean and comfortable
it felt like home but only temporarily
then I made my bed in your arms and on your lips.
you wanted temporary
I gave you temporary
I gave you every form of temporary I could and eventually I started giving you permanence but that wasn’t enough was it, since you left and ripped out my whole chest when you did.
you haven’t looked back.
—  12.26.2015