Carmilla has changed my life, but not in a way you might think. I am not a part of the LGBT+ community and I wasn’t Carmilla’s target audience, but this series has changed me nonetheless.
I remember when I was younger and I brought up Glee to a family member and how it taught acceptance of gay characters. Little did I know that they were fully against the LGBT community. They taught me that it was wrong, ‘unnatural’ and a whole array of other awful things. Being that young and naive, I blindly accepted it. I believed it for far too long and for that I am so sorry.
I started watching Carmilla just before the Christmas Special was released back in 2014 and it led me to this whole community here on tumblr that I never knew existed. Creampuffs and the LGBT community, you have taught me better. You are all human beings, just like everyone else, and such beautiful human beings at that. I can’t even believe how stupid I was for not realising this sooner.
This is why representation is important. If it weren’t for Carmilla, I don’t think I would have liked the person I would have become. I wouldn’t have realised the reality of lies I had been fed and I would have carried this awful mentality that queerness was wrong. There are people out there who still haven’t been taught. I was lucky that I never acted on what my family member had told me, otherwise I would have so much to regret but there are people who act on their beliefs and they don’t do it nicely. I can’t bear to think about it.
So thank you, Carmilla Series and the Creampuffs for showing me better, I know that I’m a little late considering the show finished over a month ago but I had been thinking about writing this for a while now, I’m so nervous to post it.
I feel that I have become a better person and that to me is one of the most valuable things in life and I will forever be indebted to you because of it.
Special thanks to @honestlynatalie - I watched your youtube videos and you have taught me a lot through them. This drawing is dedicated to you, I didn’t know how else to thank you.
As for the drawing, who even decided to style Elise’s hair like that? and hands? ugh no.
Also, just to repay what you all have done for me, I am willing to draw portraits of people if anyone would be interested, just send me a message. :)
Is this the way things have always been? The question is always nestled in the back of your mind, smile carefully in place as you nod along with someone’s conversation. You don’t know who they are - their face feels familiar, but the list of remembered names in your mind is very small. You stare at their cracked lips, trying to commit their words to memory. You wonder if they had ever used chapstick, and just as that thought bubbled to the surface, time slipped sideways. You awake from your dream to find seconds have passed, countless words lost in the haze of existing and you look up at the person speaking. “I’m sorry,” you say, with that careful smile painted delicately across your face, “Could you repeat that?” They do, but the words slide like quicksilver in and out of your ears, darting just long enough to hear, but not long enough to understand. You blink, trying to remember, but that moment is gone as if it had never happened. They are already talking about something else, addressing you by name, but their own name remains lost. Conversations flow like a river around you, snatches of meaning caught here and there, but holding onto conversations is like trying to dam a stream with a bucket. You learn to scoop down as quickly as you can, snatching just enough context to divine meaning.
Is this the way things have always been? The light bulb needs to be changed. There are two bulbs, one broken, one not. The room is dim, but not so dim that it is untreadable. You see the light bulb, and it registers as something that Needs To Be Done. You look down to the warm mug in your hands, and consider that to change the bulb, you need to have your hands free. And the thought is gone, the significance of room dimness lost as your thoughts fizz like static to wrap around the mug’s heat. You find the mug the next day, left on the corner of your desk, drained of coffee. The room’s dimness is remembered, but you should take care of that mug first, right? It could mold. By the time you place the mug in the sink, your thoughts are already occupied by dish soaps and lipid breakdowns, and the bulb lies forgotten, nestled dead against the ceiling.
One morning, neither bulb turns on, and you navigate the kitchen by the light of your cell phone before work. That night, you use your cell phone again, because you’ve forgotten where the bulbs are, and need to get gas to get to the store. The next night and the night after that, you ate early enough in the day that light bulbs weren’t needed, so the deadness never registered as a problem. At the end of the week, your hunger draws you to the kitchen late in the evening, but it’s too late in the day to go to the store - they won’t be open. When the problem of the bulb is not in front of you - is not making an active nuisance of itself, it’s like it doesn’t even exist. Nothing in this world exists, when it’s not in front of you.
Is this the way things have always been? “You’re so good at traveling!” your coworker said, “Aren’t you homesick?” Belatedly, you realize that you’ve been away from home for a week and a half. Each day seems like an individual lifetime. They flow back-to-back never quite related, for all their similarities. Like picking up a new novel every morning, each set of problems is unique to that situation. Like picking up a new novel every morning, the previous book’s worries shed like water. They’re not here anymore, so they don’t matter. “Do your parents know you’re in California?” No, you think to yourself, I haven’t talked to them in months. It’s not any malice or dislike that stops you from calling, and that’s what frightens you, a little. You’d be happy talking to them, but you just…. Forgot. Like all things, when they aren’t in front of you: They just don’t seem to exist.
Is this the way things have always been?
“You know I was only joking!” I didn’t, you think to yourself, forcing a titter of agreeable laughter. Every word, unless emphasized deeply with emotive gestures and tonal changes, seems genuine. Flat-faced delivery of falsehoods always rings true to your ears. It takes effort to remember to parse out people’s wording - their delivery - and compare it against their previously stated opinions and choices. It takes effort to remember to analyze again and again and again and again, until every conversation is a minefield of potential missteps, drawing close a handful of responses that could be interpreted a hundred different ways. At least with those, you can play along. “How come you’re being so quiet?” It’s exhausting to dance the dance of smalltalk, when your feet just seem unable to develop that muscle memory. So every conversation becomes mechanical, automatic, words filtering through keyword searches and tonal registers to find the ‘correct’ response that is both situationally appropriate, not emotionally hurtful, and hopefully accurate enough not to elicit guilt. Like all automations, It doesn’t always work. Like all machines, it doesn’t feel real. The people of the world seem like a thousand NPCs, all demanding answers from an endless multiple-choice list of dialogue options. Humans become something like obsticals, and conversations like challenges, fights waged with memorized expressions and rote responses. You become accustomed to spitting back wisdom from books and television shows written by actual people, in the hopes that their words can make your forced empathy seem real. None of it feels real.
Is this the way things have always been? “Do you have a crush on anyone?” Should I? Sexual and Romantic relationships burn brightly, all-consuming while they last. Obsessive is a word fit for the hungry hoarding of dragons, and the vicious consuming of ghosts. It is an accurate adjective for your heart. While things are here they are all that exist. While things are elsewhere they may as well have never existed at all. It applies to tasks, To objects, To people, To relationships. To your own emotions.
Existence itself remains a fleeting experience of not-quite-real spaces. Each moment feeling the most important thing you’ve ever done, yet once that moment passed it leaves only the briefest of marks on your heart or memory. Often the memory slides away completely, leaving nothing but the memories of others, and whatever few pictures were taken. Your self exists eternally on the outskirts of other peoples lives, recollection of what you’re like always reminded by pictures and stories told by friends. That perfect, careful smile painted delicately across your face slips to neutrality when alone. You simply consume the world, experience it, and let it go again. An eternal catch-and-release, where there is no fish more important than the one caught in your gaze NOW.
Is this the way things have always been?
And will always be.
Your mind is a Liminal Space, and the world around you can only briefly visit.
Request: Bucky x reader You’re Bucky’s own personal medicine and the only one that can calm him down. And HYDRA used you to keep him in line. And she is small and fragile but when Bucky is taken to the Stark Tower he wants her so the team has to go get her from the HYDRA base. And she doesn’t talk much and gets scared and only trusts Bucky and he is protective over her.
A/N: HEY! I’m sorry it’s been so long since I posted anything but here is a Bucky imagine for ya! I wonder if you even remembered that this log existed, haha. It’s not my best work… But I tried. Hopefully you’ll like it! Yikes… Before anyone asks, I’m not going to do a second part for this one. I just have so much going on I don’t have time to get more requests
Pairing: Bucky x reader
Warning(s): idk man, the reader is very scared and sensitive idk
“My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.” -Joan Rivers
Okay, so most of you won’t care about this, but I feel like the above quote really describes Dory before she met Marlin. I mean, think about it: she can’t remember anything, she lost her family, and she’s just sort of aimlessly wandering throughout the ocean.
This quote reminded me of Swiss Cheese, obviously. So, I was curious as to how Swiss cheese was made—and what exactly causes those holes in the cheese.
I discovered that there is a certain bacterial culture specific to Swiss cheese that causes air pockets to bubble up and form, causing the holes in the cheese.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT BACTERIA IS CALLED?!?
I know. Who knew there was this connection between Dory and Swiss cheese?
The Joan Rivers quote equates the holes in the Swiss cheese as to what is missing in her life. But, P. Shermani is what causes these holes, and P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney is one of the only things Dory can remember.
Maybe what is missing is what you need to remember, to hold on to.
Mm… yea. Maybe one of Sans’ Froggit friends was sifting through the dump for no particular reason and suddenly came across an old, discarded Kermit plush deep in the garbage. It remembered Sans really likes frogs and this weird toy thingy looked like one, so it decided to show it to him and bam! he loved it. Sans immediately got to work on it, suturing up any rips it had and washing it up until it was spotless and looking brand new. Then he decided he wanted to know more about it, but because he didn’t know the name of the character, he googled it by description and quickly found out he went by the name of Kermit the Frog. This newfound knowledge unfortunately led him to discover Kermit memes and, well, it went downhill from there-
Thank you for all the holiday cheer tumblr family, I appreciate the love as does ETD who finds your continous pleas for him to join tumblr highly amusing, especially the one ask which referrred to him as cryptid father. That made us both laugh.
But he’s still not joining tumblr :p
To everyone going through the motions of dealing with family right now: you’re good, you got this and you’re gonna be okay. Just keep breathing and remember there are people out there who love you and care. Thank you for being you, you make the world brighter by your existence. And the stars know we could all use a little more light in this world of ours.
Take care of yourselves, stay safe. I’m sorry I’m not around as much as I’d like to be right now, but I am thinking of you, and I’m so thankful for each and every one of you.
Happy holidays, with all our love- tumblr mom and cryptid father xxx
I agree with the previous anon, I remember thinking there couldn't be any more handsome men after seeing soo ho and dji wi but then the motherfucker yeo wool appeared and I couldn't believe there existed such beauty and that I was blessed to be able to witness it and I just had to pause the episode because damn
i feel like if the hwarangs are a boy group, yeo wool will be everyone’s bias wrecker. i mean look at this mother fucker without the long hair and he still slays.
yeo wool? more like yeo-wanna-fuck? hell yes!
and he can turn sexy to straight up cutie patootie.
I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through I never meant to hurt all of you so much and I don’t blame any one of you for disowning me I just can’t be an burden to you and my friends any longer. You all deserve better off without me. I’m so sorry for this.
I’ve just snapped, I can’t take this meaningless existence anymore. I’ve been an constant disappointment and that trend would only continued. Just remember the good times we had together.
Most people has a negative thought about Ciel twin theory. Why?
That’s a really good question. (Sorry this is kinda long, I had a lot of fun and got carried away.)
Personally I’ve loved the twin theory since before I really
interacted with the fandom or even knew it existed as a theory. I still
remember the first time I picked up on the hints while re-reading the Campania
arc for like the fifteenth time and messaging my sister in an excited frenzy.
So I’m really sorry but this 100% going to be a biased response.
ANYWAY I think the main arguments against it are:
I mean… okay? I know a lot of soap operas have sudden secret twin twists but I
feel like this one is a lot more complex than that? (although that depends on
which 2CT ~school of thought~ you subscribe to) I think a lot of people kind of
feel that Yana has pulled another one of those and think it’s a lazy twist. Which
brings me to my next point.
I could argue about this point all day because it comes up all the time
especially in regards to anachronisms and the latest arc. BUT that’s not why
we’re here. I think people feel that because it’s kind of cliché it automatically
constitutes as lazy storytelling. Personally I think that anyone who puts
almost nine years of their life and twenty published volumes (here I’m counting
from after Yana had confirmation it would be a long running series) into slowly
building up a plot point can’t be accused of lazy story telling but HEY that’s
my personal opinion.
boy here we go this one is my favourite. I think this mainly applies to the
branch of the theory where Ciel has adopted his twin’s identity (which I think
is the main one anyway) but the main questions I see about the 2CT being
a) Why can’t his surviving family
tell them apart?
b) If they’re identical twins why
is only one of them ‘sickly?’
I admit they’re good points. However, both the extended
family being unable to tell them apart and only one of them having asthma is
entirely plausible. Why do I think that? Twenty-two
years of being an identical twin with asthma and an extended family who never
bothered to learn to tell me apart from my older and healthier sister that’s
why. There’s probably other points that I can’t remember, if anyone wants to add anything feel free.
Some of these are really interesting and worth a look. Obviously if you believe
in one theory you probably wont believe in others so that’s why I included this.
One that comes to mind was the Chosen Ciel theory (or something along those
lines, someone help me out) that theorises that Ciel had potential to change
the world so the reapers didn’t collect his soul when he was sacrificed in the
cult. Another I’ve seen going around is that Ciel has multiple personality disorder,
which also contains a lot of textual evidence as support. I’m sure there’s more
but I can’t really think of any right now.
My secret is.. I can't stand any of my classmates... They stare at me all the time, they looked at me like I was some sort of demon when I came in with a new hair cut and coloured hair... Sorry... I just feel like crap about it...
fuck them. You’re fucking fabulous. you wont remember half of them when you leave. be you. be incredible.
Mira: The past month, I have been almost non existant here. (Or has it been longer? I can’t remember the exact days)- and this has been caused by a number of factors on this blog as well as many of my other blogs. A big factor being motivation and constant inability to focus because of the changes at my job.
Other giant factors is my health hasn’t been too good. Before any of you get worried, it’s nothing serious, but it can get serious if I don’t take proper steps to tend myself. It is also a very PRIVATE issue, so I wont discuss what’s wrong with me here, but I am more than willing to discuss it in IMs, Skype or Discord if you are interested. The smallest of all these factors is that my Soul was eaten by The New Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild .
- I guess the point that I’m trying to make here is that I’ve had a lot of time to just think and realize that I’m not 100% happy with my blogs, how I run them, how they get handled or anything. I don’t plan on deleting or leaving the fandom (sorry to those who was hoping that’s what sorta post this was-) But I am considering a BIG CHANGE that may or may not make you never wish to follow me again, or not even care- who knows. I sure don’t. I hope it’s the latter rather than the former.
Just know that this change may or may not happen for the sake of my own sanity and motivation to be here. I want to rp. I want to have fun and enjoy ships and non ships and love on these characters who have been with me in my heart for so many years despite what’s going on in the manga. This post may end up meaning nothing, or it may end up meaning everything to me keeping all my blogs and not quitting RP-
So, I suppose, the true point of this is to state that I’ll be gone for a bit longer. My health is starting to get a bit better thanks to finally being able to see my Doctor Again- and I’ve realized through my foggy-haze of a mind, finally, what I want to do .It’ll probably just be a week as I get all my little ducks in a row and make my decision.
I may still be active on two of my blogs during that time, just to pass the time and see you guys- but, see you when I see you and thanks for understanding!