You mentioned having some violent experiences escorting/sugaring and I'm really sorry to hear that. I was wondering if after your experience you noticed any tell-tale signs that the man was going to be violent or aggressive? Is there any behavior or specific verbatim they used before you met that you thought after the fact might have been a red flag? Any red flags in general that you can think of?
I love this question. Safety precautions are my specialty now.
There were absolutely signs that were virtually undetectable until experience taught me to look for them.
1)If he doesn’t pay you in the beginning of the session, he’s up to something. No money, no honey.
2) The FIRST thing I do when I get there, I ALWAYS ask to see the entire premise of the selected location. Open EVERY SINGLE door, whether closet or bathroom. Make sure there’s nobody there. Approach each door with mace/pepper spray. If he objects to you making sure the premise is private and secure, RUN. You’re in danger. There might be someone else hiding to gang up on you. RUN.
3)When you get to the location, casually mention you need to text your friend to let her know you’re okay. I say something along the lines of “Hey, do you mind if I get the donation? I need to let my friend know I’m okay or she’s gonna freak out if I don’t answer her. Sorry if I seem cautious, I’ve met less than ideal people before.” *insert shy smile here*
Watch how he reacts. If he gets defensive, it’s a red flag. If he’s concerned about his address being released say “Oh definitely not, she’s only going to log into my location app if I don’t check in with her to know I’m safe.”
If he continues acting strange, leave immediately. Any normal man would be understanding that a young female needs to be safe.
Note: If you’re not advertising as Independent SW, claim you have a driver who dropped you off. No guy is gonna mess with a pimp’s “property”.
4) If he chooses a shitty motel in a bad area, don’t go.
5) Get the specific ADDRESS early on so you can check.
6) Observe how he interacts with you, non-sexually. Try to ask questions about he feels about chivalry and values. It should be a gauge for you to see how considerate he’ll be later on.
7) For sugaring, stay away from short-tempered men. There’s a reason they’re not dating normally. If his anger is the reason, that means normal women don’t have a reason to stand the abuse. Stay away from that type of man.
8) Be wary of any man asking for personal info. Don’t be put in a position where you could be blackmailed.