hey let’s do something i’ll regret. some complete evil shitbags on tumblr tried to convince me to show my face, as per many anon requests, and i just hit 7000 followers, so what better way to lose 2000 of them by showing my horrible fucking face. pls don’t unfollow. (i chose the least terrible best picture of me so that you might not hate me as much)

anonymous asked:

You're literally the cutest. (When you can) can you do like a before/after BTS reaction where Yoongi falls for a really friendly, bubbly girl, almost like Tae, and is his polar opposite (before?), but then the guys wake her up from a nap or interrupt her writing a song and the she-devil is released, earning a proud "that's m'girl" nod from yoongi?(after). Thanks!

Omg noo I’m a smol potatoe c: I hope I got your ask right !

Before : 

Jin : on his guards because this smells fishy

Originally posted by jinkooks

Hoseok : observing her from afar with Yoongi “you chose well hyung” secretly relived she’s not like yoongi 

Originally posted by 1k4

Namjoon : “hyung, you know she’s Tae, Tae is her… you get mad at Taetae all the time, what are you thingking” worried because this is not like suga

Originally posted by allkpopgifs

Jimin : “Hyung I’m so proud of you ! I was thingking you’d get together with some kind of dragon” is happy his hyung got a cute girl

Originally posted by gawdjimin

Taehyung : whispering to her “since you’re my sister I gotta warn you… as soon as Kumanon gets in the picture you won’t mean anything anymore”

Originally posted by beatriceindre

Jungkook : “Oh my god ! a girl ! she’s comming towards me, she’s smiling… get realy to fight Kook !” 

Originally posted by holdmettightbts

After : 

Jin : “I knew it !”

Originally posted by overdosedarmy

Hoseok : “kyaaaa” gets scared and screaming jumps in Tae’s arms

Originally posted by orchid-bud

Namjoon : thinking : I knew it… let’s try to coax her “hi, I’m Namjoon, throw something at me again and you’ll regret it” sarcastic smile

Originally posted by btsleepy

Jimin and Tae “I think it’s safe to go back in” “be careful Tae ! You don’t wanna anger the beast !” careful 95s

Originally posted by barbots

Jungkook : feeling attacked and is not really impressed “hey, don’t get mad at me I didn’t wake you up”

Originally posted by jungeuks

Bonus :

Yoongi : “Lol, they thought…”

Originally posted by sughyun

Perfect Distraction

Pairing: danisnotonfire x reader

Genre: Smut

Warnings: idk like swearing and friendship issues? 

Word Count: 3110

Prompt: Please write one where like at the start of your too much pressure fic the reader is stressed and angry and dan tries to seduce her and it works i dont mind if theres much smut but can you make the seduction part sexy and slow building and stuff if that makes sense thank you!! _________________________

Four times. Four times this month your so called ‘best friend’ had let you down at the last minute because of a boy. A dickhead of a boy too. The first two times she had text to cancel on your dinner plans it had been a few hours before you’d agreed to meet, so you’d let it go. Though you weren’t happy. The third time, she text you to cancel as you were about to leave your apartment. Giving the poor excuse of not really feeling well enough to eat anything, and then posting an instagram of her cosied up to this guy with a pizza and ice cream. This time. This time really took the biscuit. You were actually at the restaurant when she called.

“Hello? Where are you?!” You whisper harshly, not wanting to disturb anyone else but wanting to her to know you were irritated at the fact she was 25 minutes late.

“Hi Y/N, look I’m really sorry but Kieron’s suprised me with a takeaway tonight, he’s just got here with the food a few minutes ago I had no idea he was coming over I promise I’m so sor-”

“So you aren’t coming?” You say bluntly, not needing the answer. “Are you kidding me?! You realise I’m already here don’t you?”

“Oh shit Y/N look I’ll make this up to you we can g-”

You pull your phone away from your ear and stab at the red bar with your thumb. Typical. Standing from the table, you hold down the hem of your dress and walk towards the door, trying to remember where the hell you saw the taxi’s parked. This was one time too many. You could feel people in the restaurant staring at you, as if you’d been stood up. Humiliated and angry, you shove open the door and pace towards the little black cabs.

_________

Stabbing the key into your apartment door, you swing it open and throw your bag into the hall, making sure the door closes with a noticeably loud 'bang’.

“Y/N?”

Your boyfriend Dan appears at the end of the hall, wearing his loose pajama bottoms and black jumper. His hair was fluffy and his face was adorably confused and a little in awe of your appearance. You’d dressed up tonight as you’d chosen to meet her in a fairly fancy restaurant. Turned out to be a wasted effort on her… maybe not him. Dan hadn’t seen you get ready or leave as he was at a meeting for Radio 1, and as far as he knew, you weren’t going to be back until late anyway.

“She cancelled again didn’t she.” You say, shoving your palm out in front of you in a gesture of annoyance as you kick away your heels.

“Oh..again?” He says, taking bare-footed slow steps towards you but not meeting your eyes. Instead they were travelling down your body.

“Yes, again, I’ve told you about all this Dan.” You say, pulling out your messy bun and letting your hair fall around your shoulders. “She’s met this fuckboy who I know is sleeping around with other girls but she’s totally in love with him and she won’t listen to a word I say about it. Every time we’ve tried to meet up she’s cancelled last minute for him, and THIS time I was actually sat at the fucking table!”

“Yeah?” He continues to make slow steps, his lips parted in a small smile.

“Yes! What are you smiling at?!” You ask, placing your hands on your hips.

“You look really hot.” He shrugs confidently, sliding both hands into his pajama pockets. You let your arms fall to your sides again, stare at his face and sigh. He never put his hands in his pockets and weirdly it made him look really attractive in that moment.

“So do you. Stop complimenting me whilst I’m mad. It’s not fair. I need you to let me complain about this situation okay?”

“I haven’t seen that dress before.” He replies, his eyes wandering down your body again as he takes another slow step towards you. He had the glimmer in his eyes you knew all too well.

“It’s new. Stop changing the subject.”

“I think you’re a better one.” His voice had dropped lower, like it always did when he was being flirty. He was now only a couple of feet away from you and he smelled beautiful. You take a breath and glance at his chest, before running your fingers through the top part of your hair, flicking it to the side.

“Are you listening to me? Did you miss the part where I said I was sat alone waiting for her?” You try not to smile at your boyfriend who you could see had bitten his bottom lip slightly.  "I want you to be mad at her with me. Stop looking at me like that.“ "I am mad at her, of course I am, I’m just more in love with you right now.” He says softly, reducing the gap between you to about an inch and gazing down at you with his dark brown eyes. He expands his chest ever so slightly and his soft lips move closer to yours. You see his arm move as he takes his hand out of his pocket and you feel his fingers graze the top of your hip.

“I’m not sure what you’re after Daniel” You lie, slowly pressing your body into his, “But I’m going to go and order a pizza, and they best have garlic bread too or else I’m going to be really mad.”

“You’re sexy when you’re mad too.” He mumbles, his eyes fixed on yours.

“Am I?” You ask, leaning your head up and touching the very edge of your lips to his, “Well, right now I just want food.” You lie again. Dan was rarely this flirty, and it was already making you feel all gooey but you knew you could drag this out. You lean back from him and you see his jaw clench and his temple move, a sure sign he was frustrated. You loved the jaw thing, and you doubted he knew that sometimes you wind him up just to see it. What could you say, frustrated Dan was hot Dan.

You brush past him and walk into the kitchen, knowing he would be watching you.

You flick you hair over to one shoulder and pull open the kitchen drawer stuffed full of takeaway menu’s and random papers you find lying around the house, normally the ones Dan has conveniently dropped or ignored, and search for anything with a pizza on it.

“Do you want anything? We could get two if there’s a deal.” You suggest, pulling out a handful and fanning them out in front of you. You hear him pad down the hall towards the doorway and you close the drawer and turn around to lean against the sideboard, still shuffling through the papers.

“Yeah, I could eat.” He replies.

You lift your head to see him leaning against the door frame, his hands back in his pockets and his hair fluffed up as if he’d just ran his fingers through it. He gazes at you as you with his dark eyes and his mouth curls at the edge as you unknowingly stare back. He was giving you little tiny butterflies and all he was doing was looking at you.

“Daniel.” You say.

“What?” He replies, his smile growing.

“Stop it.” You say sternly, biting the inside of your cheek to stop you from smiling back. He knew exactly what he was doing to you, and he knew it was working. You were still angry about the failed evening and you weren’t quite ready to let it go.

“I’m just standing here!” He laughs, grinning at you and shrugging his broad shoulders slightly in protest.

“I’m ringing Dominos. You want garlic bread too?” You grab his phone that’s lying next to the toaster and type in the number. You lift it up to your ear, listening to the rings and wait for the answer on the other end.

“I really like that dress.” He says, completely ignoring you again. He takes his hand out of his pocket and raises his thumb to his lips, gently biting down on the very top, staring at you. He walks further into the room and leans against the sideboard opposite you, so you turn away from him and face the cupboards, trying so desperately to concentrate on the phone call.

“Hi, yes, hello.” You blurt out when someone finally answers. “Can I place an order for delivery? Yeah its Y/N Y/L/N, the address should be there… Brilliant yeah that’s the one. Okay can I have a large pepperoni pizza with a crap ton of extra cheese please… yeah honestly just throw it on there don’t hold back.”

You hear Dan laugh quietly from behind you.

“And a large Texas barbecue pizza. Both with portions of garlic bread… Yeah that’s it. We’ll pay on delivery… Alright, thank you, bye.” You hit the red button and slide Dan’s phone back on to the side, finally turning round to face him. He was still watching you, his arms crossed against his head and his head tilted slightly.

“She said delivery would be about twenty five minutes”

“Okay.”

You let out a sigh and rub your temple, closing your eyes for a few seconds. “I’m going to have to ring her Dan. I don’t care if she’s with that twat, in fact I’m going to tell her exactly what I think of this whole thing.” You reach for his phone again when suddenly he closes the gap between you, his hand taking your wrist.

“Or maybe you ring her tomorrow, and we spend the next twenty five minutes doing something less depressing?” He suggests, moving in close to your face, gently kissing your forehead. You sign again, this time it had a slightly different meaning.

“Like what?”, you ask, placing his phone down and grasping onto the bottom of his jumper. He moves his hands to your back and you feel him smile against your skin.

“I’ll show you.” He whispers. You breathe him in, trying to forget the stress of the evening, and you feel his hands wind round your waist. He tilts his head and parts his lips, brushing them against yours, and you exhale as he moves one hand to pull a strand of hair from your face. You can’t hold back any more, he’d been teasing you from the second you got home. To be fair, you’d been teasing him back. You force your lips against his, and your hands grip his hips, pushing his jumper up slightly with your fingers. He kisses you back strongly and you feel your stomach twist, not just because you were hungry.

Suddenly, his hands tighten on your waist and he effortlessly lifts you up onto the sideboard, standing between your thighs. You take your hands and wind them into his messy hair, pulling his head forwards as you lean back slightly, deepening your kiss. It had been a long time since you and Dan had been like this with each other, busy schedules and all that. You were going to enjoy these next twenty five minutes for all they were worth.

You take your hand from his hair and hold on to his wrist, which was still on your waist. Wanting him to hold you tighter. Instead, he slows his kisses, and you feel his fingers move to touch the end of your knee. He breathes heavy against your mouth, and his fingers glide round the side of your knee. Your heart is beating heavily in your chest, with excitement. Only 10 minutes ago it was beating heavily with anger. Dan could do amazing things to you.

He continues to give you gentle kisses, and you feel his fingers graze up your leg, towards the top of your thigh. You roll your body into his, and he moves his lips from your mouth to your jawline, and then to your neck. Managing to find the tender spot instantly. His fingers push under the material of your dress and your body tingles in anticipation. His fingertips now so close to your crotch. You encourage him by wrapping your calf round the back of his thigh, pulling his own crotch closer to you. He was however still kissing your neck, and time was ticking.

“Dan,” you mumble against his hair. He pulls his head away and looks at you questioningly with his wide eyes, his lips still close to yours.

“Get a move on.” You open your mouth and bite hold of his bottom lip. Dan grins wickedly back at you, his eyes firey and his cheeks red. His hair unbelievably even more wild than before.

“As you wish.”

He grasps hold of your waist once more and holds on to you tightly, his lips crushing yours as he carries you through the kitchen door towards the lounge. You giggle at him as he almost walks you into the door frame, both of you not really concentrating on direction. You feel the sofa against the back of your legs and he lowers you down. You wiggle upwards and your hands grab at his jumper, desperate to remove it. Dan takes the material in his hands and pulls it over his head, lowering his bare chest back down towards you and resting on his elbows, either side of your head. Your hands run up his ribs and grip at his shoulder blades, his skin warm to touch. You run your hands back down his body as he continues to kiss you, his tongue against yours and small sighs escaping both your lips. You grab at his pajama bottoms and shove them with all the strength you can muster at that angle but they barely budge, so you push at his chest and sit up, with him kneeling over you. You feel his fingers pull at the zip on your dress and a cool breeze hits your back, contrasting with your heated skin. You yank down his pajama bottoms and twist your legs round to position yourself on your knees, so your face is right against his. He runs his hands over your shoulders, pulling your dress down and leaning his head back slightly to look at your increasingly revealed skin.

“You’re being gentle with this one.” You giggle, holding the back of his neck and placing your other hand on his rising and falling chest.

“I told you, I really like it.” He grins back, pulling it down your body. You let your arms fall and he pulls the sleeves down, the dress bunching round your bent knees.

You once again hold his neck and you move your mouth against his. That’s when you feel his fingers against your crotch. Small strokes at first that make your hips wiggle and you cant help but let out a small moan into his mouth. You feel him smile again and his fingers twist your underwear tightly, pulling them down over your hips to join your dress. He lowers you back down, hovering over you but never breaking contact between your chests.

You suddenly feel him grind himself into you, and your stomach knots and your back arches in pleasure. This is what it has been building up to. His bare hot skin against yours, soft and sensitive. You feel his hard length against you, as he runs his fingers up your ribs and under your back, where he unclasps your bra in a matter of seconds (he’d gotten good at this recently) and chucks it onto the floor. You take this time to wriggle your dress further down your body and over your ankles, kicking it away. You use your foot to push at Dan’s pajama bottoms too and breathe heavily against his mouth as you enjoy the few seconds of being fully naked with him, relishing every inch of his body against yours. You open your mouth and push your crotch up against his, creating the friction you were craving.

“Don’t go out with her again. Stay with me.” He whispers. You respond with a kiss.

“Okay.”

He slowly pushes himself into you. A warm wave of pleasure rolls through your body and he tucks his head into your neck, letting out the sexiest groan you’ve ever heard. You roll your hips up to meet his rhythm and feel the heat build slowly and surely deep within your stomach. You wrap your legs around his bum and grip tightly onto his hair. Your moans grow louder with each minute that passes, as do his, until his rhythm changes to faster, deeper thrusts and the waves are now so powerful you almost forget to breathe. Your head tilts backwards and Dan’s teeth sink gently into the soft spot of your neck. His back and chest growing damp with sweat.

You both climax together, when you squeeze his hips with your thighs and bite down on his lip, as he thrusts into you one last time. You feel your thighs quiver and you wriggle beneath him, as he grips your hip with his hand and tries to control his own spasms. You let out a loud few sighs and softly kiss his neck as he breathes against your shoulder. You felt exhausted, but so happy, and had almost forgotten about the pizza when suddenly..

*DING DONG*

“Ah shit.” You hear Dan mumble against you. “They’re early.”

“Yeah,” you grin to yourself. “There’s no way that was 25 minutes.” Dan lifts his head up and opens his mouth wide in mock offense.

“In my defense, you did rush me.”

“Go get the pizza.” You giggle, kissing him passionately on the lips one last time, before planting a single gentle one on his nose.

He smiles down at you before lifting himself away and reaching for his pajama bottoms, shoving them on backwards and stumbling towards the door. You laugh after him, and sit up yourself, finding your knickers in the pile of clothes and sliding his jumper over your head. You feel your stomach grumble in hunger and realise how differently tonight would have gone if your 'best friend’ had actually showed up. In many ways you were still mad at her, but in many more you were glad of the way things had turned out. You were also glad you hadn’t spent the entire evening being grumpy about it. Mind you, that was all down to Dan. He was the most perfect distraction.

______________________________

Hope you like this one! Didn’t want to make Dan too dominant because I feel like that’s a whole seperate fic ;) Let me know what you think/any advice. Thanks for reading! x