the fact that doyoung reached out to taeyong and held his hand to ground him when he was extremely nervous was beautiful but the fact that taeyong was supposed to go on stage to collect their award yet he took the time to hug doyoung for dear life, as if doyoung made him whole and gave him energy to deliver that speech just said a lot about their friendship. no scripts, no planned actions, just raw and pure instincts. actions will always be louder than words.

Wow!!! We hit 11k today! Thank you all so much! We’re all super appreciative. I honestly never even considered 10k. I told my roomies, who are now the two other mods, that I’d upload a video of me playing History Maker on guitar if I ever achieved 10k. That’s how impossible it seemed to me, back in October when we got our first thousand.

You guys are all so amazing. I still can’t believe some of you guys have made art related to this silly blog. You’re all just so lovely and talented. I love Yuri on Ice so much and I’m so happy to be able to share that love with all of you.

I’ll spare you my bad guitar playing, but if we get 15k, I’m considering a Yuri on Ice tattoo…

Lots of love and yummy katsudon!
Mod Star

another thing that makes me happy – last year i didn’t have any friends. for the whole year. I left my old one because it was bad for me to stay there and it was a whole year of transitioning. this year I found my group, and I’m so comfortable with them, I love them and they do little things that show that they genuinely care for me and ARE friends with me that some people take for granted but fucking blow me away. like buy me presents for my birthday. like how yesterday, I said I was going to the bathroom and they could go on without me and when I got out of the stall, all FIVE of them were crammed in there waiting for me. none of them wanted to go the bathroom they were there just because they didn’t want to go to lunch without me. I smiled so hard because of that. I nearly wanted to cry. I’m in a better place than I was last year , this just makes me so happy

Hiatus notice.

Hey guys.
Since I’ve started posting my art on Tumblr, I’ve received quite a bit of pretty nasty anon messages, ranging from calling me a failure to telling me to go die, and every colorful thing in between. During the last few weeks, the messages got a lot more cruel and a lot more frequent.
I don’t know if it’s just one very committed person, or a lot of people.
I won’t post the messages publicly because they make me feel like shit.

There was an artist here on tumblr a while back, who made art in a very, very similar style.
Their art (and Kastoway’s and BlasticHeart’s art) kept me awake at night, drawing and doodling and sketching and trying to improve, because I admire them so much.
I’ve acquired most of my art skills by trying to draw as amazingly as those three and spending endless hours reading up on tutorials and such.
Essentially, their art inspired me and made me want to put my drawings out there as well.
Therefore, receiving a constant stream of messages telling me that I was just emulating them and couldn’t draw anything of my own, was really crushing.
I can’t help but think that those anons really do have a point, but this style I’m drawing in, even though I’m trying to improve it constantly, became like a second nature to me. Over time, it simply became the way I draw.
It was never my intention to copy anyone and I’m tired of being called a copycat instead of scaredycat.

Well, in conclusion, I will take some time off tumblr to think about this and try to figure out where I want to go with my drawings.
Maybe I’ll be back, maybe I won’t. I honestly don’t know at this point.

I want to thank all of you who liked and reblogged my drawings, and asked questions, for being there and being amazing people.
And I am really, really sorry that I am so shit at dealing with hate.
I know I should be able to deal with stuff like that; it’s the internet, after all, but I’m still struggling with my own issues a lot, and the added pile of anon hate doesn’t really improve my depression.

I’m sorry guys, and I really hope, that there are still a few people who enjoyed my art.

Thank you.




  • Me: This gamingmass is great! I'm so preoccupied with it I can't remember what I was stressing about before!
  • Also me: That's what he wants you to think...
  • Me: Who? I'm just being all cheery and happy about these videos.
  • Also me: Do you really not remember? Want me to remind you?
  • Me: Sure :) I mean, what could really stress me out right now? All is fine and dandy in the d&p universe.
  • Also me: ....... it rhymes with 'minof doopers'
  • Me: .......
  • Me: ............ FUCK OMG THE PINOF BLOOPERS! HOW COULD I FORGET OMG I MUST START CHECKING TWITTER CONSTANTLY AND REARRANGE ANY EVENING PLANS I HAVE UNTIL IT IS UPLOADED AHHHHH THE ANTICIPATION THE STRESS! HOW COULD I FORGET! DAMN YOU DAN AND PHIL FOR DOING ALL THESE GAMING VIDEOS AND MAKING ME FORGET AHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRR MY LIFE IS STILL ON HOLD.