soriety

random AUs
  • I always thought i ended up with the right girl but after last night …
  • I didn’t know this was a gay bar and all these really nice women keep buying me drinks
  • everyday you wear skirts to school and you sit across from me and I can’t tell whether you’re just casual in posture or you want me to see your underwear
  • you said this looks like your boyfriends jacket and i got it from a stranger I hooked up with last night; o h n o
  • Our girlfriends are in a soriety house and we are in a frat house lets try and think of what kind of sex they’re having over there
  • The first five dates you were heels but now we’re at my house and you took off your shoes and shrunk five inches
  • I ordered to much pizza and i don’t want my shit roommate to have it so do you want the rest?
  • I broke my foot so I need to use the schools elevator and you don’t want to take the stairs, want to hold my bag?
  • As much as I say I hate being called “Babe” I love it and you’re so cute
  • I asked my best guy friend if i could send him a picture of my boobs because they look really good today but now he’s being weird about it
  • I’m getting really dehydrated and forget my wallet at home for you have 2 dollars to spare?
  • “I’d suck dick for these shoes” … “Well I bought you the shoes”
  • sometimes you come to school with a thing of honey and straight up pour it into a spoon and eat it in the middle of class why
  • You treat me like shit but also you’re my only dealer so I have to treat you nicely
  • “… Will you be my trip sitter?”
  • You’re the reason I want to become a teacher 
  • Do you hate me and find me annoying or do you have really bad anxiety? Why won’t you hang out with me?
  • My parents think I like you but honestly I hate girlfriend so much but I can’t talk about that with you
  • I don’t wanna sound like a queer or nothin
  • I don’t really know you but I’m going out of town for a week and I need someone to babysit my rodents because all of my friends dropped out 
  • You take your tea plain but I take mine with milk and sugar and I feel bad for asking you for some because this is your house
  • You owe me big time for making me ride alone in the car with your dad while he listens (and agrees to) NPR