soooo ill

8

get to know me meme: [2/5] favorite musical artists ↠  banks

“the first album was kind of like this diary that someone discovered, and i was kind of forced to read it in front of people. this album for me is more kind of like, a journal i left open and i’m like, ‘i dare you to read it.’”

4

So i had an idea to draw out Lammy’s parents 💖

Teh design for Lemons is belong to @hedgiemuffins

I might make more drawings of them later ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

“How did I get so lucky?” I whisper to him one night.

“See, I don’t believe it’s luck.” He starts tracing the freckles on my shoulder, I look at him with distracted eyes.

“You don’t?”

“Yeah,” he fixates his eyes on mine. “You know, there’s this story in Greek mythology. It states that humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and two heads. Zeus didn’t like their power and split them into two separate parts. This way, they would spend their entire lives searching for their other half.”

“This isn’t luck,” he says. “This is just exactly how it’s supposed to be.”

—  Excerpt of a story I’ll never write #36
Writing Ideas:
  • How EDAW undermines attempts to spread awareness;
    • Before / after photos: weight gain = cured, weight low = sick, therefore equating weight with severity of illness;
    • Soooo anorexia-centric;
    • “Sickest of the sick” / most extreme cases gain the most attention on social media but do not actually need more public awareness;
    • Competition and triggers result when explicit details, behaviors, and numbers are used in “recovery” stories: you don’t have to prove how sick you were in order to be an inspiration in recovery;
    • Feelings of invalidation via comparison by both the general public and eating disorder sufferers.

  • Making EDAW more effective in spreading actual awareness:
    • More focus on actual causes of eating disorders, ie. not social media or “diet culture”;
    • Little to no focus on weight or specific behaviors in the context of personal experiences, which are often irrelevant and an attempt at self-validation: are personal anecdotes of relapse even helpful?
    • Significant focus on OSFED and eating disorder sufferers who remain at “normal” weights or become overweight / obese;
    • Emphasis that recovery is ongoing after weight restoration: someone can look “healthy” but still be struggling immensely because physical recovery occurs before mental recovery;
    • Little to no focus on social media / diet culture as a cause of eating disorders and more focus on underlying issues;
    • Goal: Understanding the causes of eating disorders in combination with what recovery from an eating disorder really means, without numbers, explicit details, or shocking anecdotes.

  • Body positive in relation to eating disorder recovery:
    • Still places so much focus on body and weight
    • Perpetuates misconception that eating disorders are body image disorders that can be “cured” with body love
    • Possibly just treating a symptom of an eating disorder without encouraging further self-analysis: instead of refuting negative thoughts about weight or appearance, think about why those thoughts are presenting so strongly;
    • Too much emphasis on physical appearance / being beautiful: I didn’t develop anorexia because I didn’t feel beautiful, and feeling beautiful won’t “cure” my eating disorder;
    • Still very fatphobic: If your body positivity relies on convincing yourself that you’re not as fat as you think or that you’re “still skinny,” then your body positivity is still fatphobic.
  • What I’ve learned in recovery and in relapse after recovery.
    • The danger of claiming “remission” too early;
    • The importance of realizing relapses as learning experiences.

  • Maintaining an eating disorder identity in recovery via social media:
    • Body positive Instagrams with body checking;
    • Food photography / recipe blogs;
    • Always relating life experiences to recovery instead of focusing on those life experiences alone;
    • Running recovery advice blogs or similar;
    • Would you still love your stomach rolls, stretch marks, cellulite, etc. if those features weren’t receiving positive feedback for being “an inspiration” on social media?
    • Is your body acceptance reliant on external approval?

  • The danger of “before” / low-weight photos:
    • Almost always serves as self-validation of severity;
    • Can be motivated by the desire to “excuse” being at a healthy weight, as in, “I actually am uncomfortable with my healthy weight, so look at how thin I used to be!” or similar thought processes;
    • Obvious trigger to other eating disorder sufferers;
    • Serves literally no point though?
    • Again with equating weight gain with progress in recovery.

  • Fatphobia:
    • What is societal fatphobia?
    • What is internalized fatphobia?
    • What is fatphobia in the context of eating disorders?

  • Miscellaneous:
    • Thinking of calories as “happy points,” stretch marks as “tiger stripes,” etc. could be hindering the development of a “normal” perspective on food, weight, and body appearance?
    • Wanting to maintain a certain weight in recovery is inherently disordered, even if someone used to be overweight;

  • Harmful trends in the eating disorder recovery community:
    • So many..

anonymous asked:

Y- YOU are a blessing for humanity and I really really love your art!! I cannot forgive myself for not finding your blog earlier - a blog with the highest quality content!! I send you lots of hugs to express my gratitude for your stunning art! Have a superb amazing day filled with lots of love, angel!!! 💞💞💞

katya.exe has stopped working

All My Fanfics

I realized ive never posted them all in one place, and it makes it hard for some mobile users to keep track, soooo, ill link this to my description after i post~

Oneshots:

Finally Warm ~~ tumblr - Ao3
Holy Shit… ~~ tumblr - Ao3
Hot Cocoa and Espresso ~~ tumblr - Ao3
I’m Yours ~~ tumblr - Ao3
Pride ~~ tumblr - Ao3
Something Just Like This ~~ tumblr - Ao3

Multichaps:

Current

Displaced: Ao3 exclusive

From the Ruins, We shall Rise (Ruins/Dragon Au)~ collab with @thesearchingastronaut

Note: Full chapters are on Ao3, Tumblr hates chapters that border 10k words (i know from experience) and it is easier to post a link+excerpt. Thank you for reading <3

Ao3

Chapter Excerpts: [1] [2] [3] [4]

Various other pieces (where I answer asks and post pics of scenery for the au plus the art that Caro draws)

Normal ~~ Ao3

Part 1, Part 2/Prologue

Meet Me on the Battlefield (collab with @koshkavinni) ~~ Ao3

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Comic 1, Comic 2, Comic 3, Comic 4, Comic 5, Comic 6

The Rift ~~ collab with @aniscribbles

Ao3

Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4]

Art: [1] [2] [3]

Hiatus

Aftermath ~~ Ao3

Ch 1, Ch 2

Of Silk and Flame ~~ Ao3

Part 1

Powerless ~~ Ao3

Part 1

4

A bunch of stuff I don’t feel like coloring/finishing 

commission for @the-jcrow!!

thank u so much for always commissioning me i love drawing ur characters! i really liked this cutie here so i drew her~

anyways shoutout to @tsuru-yo for providing me with the diamond pattern <33

oooh important update !

i just left to go to a horse back riding camp ! i will not be active, but my queue will be running in the time i am gone. ill be away for 11ish days and will be back on july 30th! feel free to continue to send me messages and whatnot. stay safe today pals!