soooo funny!

anonymous asked:

I need more chapterssss of the Beautiful Dragon Story™ It's soooo funny xD I need more naked dragon butts ;^) and more of your great writing of course ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thanks! Here it goes~ 💕

(sorry, no butts but yes some sexual innuendo. Be warned. This story is overall between T+ and M

[part 1] [story tag]


{ NAKED DRAGONS IN MY KITCHEN? - IT’S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK! } - part 4


“So, why me?” Roderich asked that evening.

Antonio looked up from his magazine, cocooned in Roderich’s spare bathroom robe and hair still wet from the hose shower that Roderich subjected him to after dinner because he refused to let a naked guy only covered in blood and camel grease inside his father’s house.

“Why you what?”

“Why are you so adamant I become your apprentice?” What could you even teach me is what he didn’t say out loud. Not because he didn’t think dragon life and magic wasn’t interesting in its own way, but because, well… Antonio didn’t seem to be the, um, the academic type. To put it nicely.

Antonio seemed to think about it for a second. “You are the perfect princess.”

“What!?”

“You are pretty, rich and unhappy. Young anguish over an absent father, dead mother, without many friends and burdened with boring hobbies” He waved his hand dismissively “just waiting for a dragon to come around and fill your life with adventure. The textbook princess.”

Roderich gaped for like two minutes and then, using a nearby encyclopedia as a projectile, threw it right at Antonio’s head.

“Aww!” The dragon complained, rubbing the hurt area with a pout on his lips. “What did I say?!”

“You even have to ask!?” Roddy took one long gulp of air, standing up from his chair and pointing at the dragon. “Don’t you even dare to mention my mother again-“

“Ow, okay, okay. Sore point I get it-“

“Second: my hobbies are not boring! I love them. And to finish off – I’m not a princess!”

“I mean. You kinda are-“

“No!” Roderich strode up to him, jabbing his finger into the dragon’s chest. “If anything, I’m a prince!”

He stopped then, realizing what he just said, hoping to god his cheeks weren’t burning from embarrassment. “I’m not a prince.” He retracted in a lower tone.

Antonio was grinning from ear to ear, the little shit.

“Okay. So you’ll be my prince dear. Is that okay?”

“No, it is not.” Roderich sighed, sitting on the sofa, next to his companion. He was still flustered and feeling a bit defeated, so he didn’t even overreact too much when Antonio wrapped his arms around his middle, chanting “my prince, my prince” like a little girl that has just been promised ice-cream.

“Let go of me.” He ordered, half-heartedly trying to wriggle away, but Antonio was way stronger and his grip firm, even if gentle.

“Nah, you like it.” He laughed, pulling Roderich closer and dropping them down to a half-laying position. “You like me.”

“What the hell would make you think so?”

“Your face is all red and your heart is beating very fast. Besides, I can smell your pheromones.” To demonstrate his point he buried his nose behind Roddy’s ear, sniffing at it, pulling him even closer until Roddy’s backside was tight against his front.

Roderich squeaked, headbutting Antonio as well as he could until the dragon let him go, and then fled to the other end of the room.

“See? I was right!” Antonio laughed, pointing at Roderich’s crotch, whom immediately clasped his hands over the bulge in his sweatpants.

“I’m twenty! This would react even to a sandwich if I was hungry enough! It means nothing!”

“It means I’m as delicious as a sandwich~”

Roderich gave up. He just… gave up, flopping back down into his chair and rubbing with his thumb and forefinger the bridge of his nose, after taking off his glasses.

“You should stop frowning so much.” Antonio said quietly. “Or by the time you are 300 you’ll have wrinkles.”

“Humans don’t live to 300” Roderich mumbled.

“They do if they’ve got a bond with a dragon, and way more. Dragon blood, if consumed regularly, slows down the aging process to barely none. There are some humans in my clan that are older than most of the dragon members of it.”

“By consuming dragon blood?” Now, that was interesting.

Antonio shrugged. “I mean, that’s the traditional, most dramatic method. But actually, any body fluid works fine, so most humans prefer to swallow, you know, more interesting things.”

He wriggled his eyebrows, grinning like a lascivious fox. Roderich’s blush returned.

“I thought your kind took apprentices, not concubines.”

Antonio shrugged. “It goes hand in hand.”

His lack of brainmass must have been rubbing on Roderich, because it took him approximately twenty seconds to fully process what Antonio just said.

“AND YOU DIDN’T THINK TO MENTION THAT BEFORE YOU STARTED PESTERING ME TO BECOME YOUR APPRENTICE?!”  

“Oh, so you’ve been considering to-“

Roderich hurled another encyclopedia at him.


Friendly reminder that I only update this mess if I got an ask in my askbox about it. Let’s see for how long I can keep calling my favorite character stupid in every chapter xDD

Jikook fic recs masterpost

Hi everyone! So, as any jikook shipper, you all know that there is a variety of great fics, old and new, about our fave ship. I, personally, tend to like reading more about the new ones (not because the 2014 ones aren’t good anymore, but like, u know what i mean, dynamics of the ship changed).

So as someone who spends……. alot….. of their free time reading and writing fics, and as someone who’s been in the fandom for a couple months now, i tought it would be a good idea to write down here some of my faves for you, old shipper who thinks they’ve read them all, or new shipper who doesn’t know where to start :) 

I’ll try to recommend complete ones for the most part, and recent ones, but you know…… some of ‘em are classics. Here are my personnal all-time favorites.

Let’s start ! (in no particular order)

* - awesome

** - extra-awesome

*** - life-changing

1. Constraint, by Harlot. ** One shot, 40k, complete. “Jungkook is young and he is more acquainted with confusion and poor-decision-making than he’d like to admit. Despite being only 19 years old, he sometimes argues that he’s been through and seen some shit. He is never sure where he’s going to end up and he’s not entirely sure what kind of future is waiting for him. He is often not sure of a lot but he is certain—absolutely certain—that he’s not gay.
Alternatively, a story in which Jungkook meets Park Jimin and doesn’t like him whatsoever. There’s just something about him… there’s just so much about him. Jungkook really can’t stand him. In fact, he can’t stand him so much he can’t quite seem to get him off of his mind.
” ((So this one is quite lengthy, i know, but totally worth it ! Jungkook is a real douche in the beginning, but his reactions are so believable and relatable that you forgive him instantly. Great caracterization. Smutty parts in the end.))

2. Loverboy, by gangbang. *** One shot, 9k, complete. “this much jimin’s figured out: sometimes, somehow, his words make people fall in love with him.” ((Okay so this one is my personnal favorite, if I had to chose from all the jikooks fics, and probably all fics of all ships of all times, this would probably win the 1rst place. There’s something about it. Magical realism. Ansgt. Incredible storyline and characterization. A+++))

3. More golden than a golden snitch, by arborescent. ** Series of 3 One shots. 4k for this one, complete. “Everyone knows that the first year Slytherin seeker Jeon Jungkook’s biggest fan is not from his own house but a third year Hufflepuff named Park Jimin.” ((Okay so another old one… but a true classic. This one is a series so be sure to read the 3 of them, aren’t long, but truly amazing. HP au, with a lot of misunderstandings, a tsundere jk, and a fluffy muggleborn jimin. Don’t have to have loved HP to read this.))

4. And back again, by novilunar. * One shot, 3k, complete. “Jimin wishes he could stay away from Jungkook.” ((Ok so this is also an old one BUT i had to link it cause i read it 4 times by now and it is  THE fic that started me into Jikook. Basically, Jimin doesn’t do one night stands, and thats all jk does. Jimin falls. Happy ending. Great writing. Good smutty parts. Love it.))

5. The Bet, by jonghyunslisterine. ** 11 chapters, 46k, complete. “Where Jeon Jungkook makes a bet that he can get the notoriously single Park Jimin to sleep with him by the end of the semester. Needless to say, things don’t go exactly as planned.” ((Okay, another old one, classic, that you probably already read. If not, then  d o   i t. Quite lengthy, but a safe bet. Great great great character development. Jimin is such a complex but lovely being and jk is such a douche but then gets it and it all goes well in the end. The jeonlous is gold. University setting, and jk’s concerns about school are so well written and so relatable. Great one overall.))

6. Flowertalk, by soranosuzu. * One shot, 3k, complete. “Jimin works in a flower shop and Jungkook is a delivery boy who drives a pastel pink van.” ((Tooth rotting fluff. Short and sweet, perfect for when you’re feeling for it.))

7. You’re ripped at every edge (but you’re a masterpiece), bykafeuka. * 3 chapters, 34k, complete.  “Jimin swore there was nothing worst than having Jeon Jungkook as a sergeant.(Or,In which Jimin was forced to enlist in military and he was under the sexgod Sergeant Jeon’s monitoring division and god, Sergeant Jeon really needs to stop being a douchebag)” ((Ok so this one is maybe not an ultimate fave, but it’s only b/c of the end. Overall, it’s great, tho’. Military AU. Sexual tension. JK is sexually frustrated and frustrating. JM is a rich boy. Both characters are douches. Loved the idea.))

8. One upon a time share, by namakemono. * 5 chapters, 32k, complete. “Jungkook is in desperate need of a vacation, but spending two weeks in Namjoon and Hoseok’s timeshare in Okinawa with his recently separated ex of three years was probably (definitely) not what he had in mind.” ((I don’t know why i like the ex trope so much??? anyone with me??? there isn’t enough of those. JK and JM broke up, but their friends are still friends. And want them back together. Oops. Love it.))

7. White T-shirt and Brown Timberlands, by Rose_gold715. ** One shot, 11k, complete. “Jimin is filing for divorce after eight years with Jungkook. He needs to let go, and yet, he wants to hold on a little longer.” ((Aaaaand another ex trope, but not really. Established relationship that doesn’t go well for a while, but happy ending. Original idea. Kinda angsty, and heartbreaking. Loved it.))

8. You’re a hard soul to save with an ocean in the way (but i’ll get around it), by namakemono (great author ok bye). ** One shot, 20k, complete. “Jimin has the whole ocean at his fingertips, but for some reason he can’t help but look up to where the humans are, and wonder what it’s like to be part of their world.(or: the Little Mermaid AU that no one asked for)” ((Ok so now move on to something a lil’ fluffier. I DID NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED A LITTLE MERMAID AU. But i did. Jimin w/ red hair. Rich boy JK that has to take care of him. Funny and cute. A little jowel of a fic.))

9. You Don’t Bring Me Flour, by superbroc. * One shot, 3k, complete. “In order to graduate, Park Jimin must convince cute grocery cashier Jeon Jungkook that this sack of flour is his beloved child.” ((Soooo funny. Happy and fluffy. Great when you’re in the mood for something lighter.))

10. Let’s play for keeps, bykaythebest. * One shot, 4k, complete. “Jimin plays games for the entertainment of the Internet. Poorly. In fact, his entire schtick seems to be entirely based on how terrible he is. JimJams tries. He rarely succeeds.” ((Youtuber AU. Funny. A lot of Pining. What’s there more to ask.))

11. A touch of sin, by pettey. *** 10 chapters, 102k, complete. “After his transfer to a quiet seaside town, Jeongguk was prepared to face a year of uneventful CID work, but found himself dealing with a series of strange murders instead.” ((ULTIMATE FAVE OF THE MOMENT. Last fic I actually read, yesterday, in the middle of the night. Terrible idea, ‘cause it’s so spooky. I’m not a fan of gore, so i was scared when i read the hashtags, but really there isn’t that much, and it’s so well written that you barely notice it. The story is so well written and plot-driven. It could litteraly be a book. The universe is so intriguing. Ghosts. Witchcraft. JK is a cop, JM is a witch, sorta. Weird murders happen, JM is suspected. Sexual tension. So soooo much sexual tension. Characters are amazingly written. Slowbuilt. The end is bittersweet, if you don’t like much of happy endings, you’ll love it, if you only like happy endings (like me), you’ll love it too. Also there’s smut. And amazing song recommandations.))

12. Nu ABO: A Memoir by Park Jimin, by decompositionbooks. ** 6 chapters, 34k, complete. “The world didn’t think it was necessary to give him a guide when it shoved all of these omega hormones at him, so here it is, Park Jimin’s handbook on dealing with heats, unrequited love, and Jeon Jungkook.” ((You kids are so lucky to be able to read this fic in one go. I had to wait for every chapter. E v e r y   o n e. I know not all are fans of ABO dynamics, but try this one, please. It’s so good. Jimin is hilarious. Jungkook is emotionally constipated. Sexual tension. Jealousy. Great writing. A+))

13. Leave Your Mark, by snarcsics. *** 3/10 chapters, 49k, not completed. “The first time Jimin meets a gaunt, small beta boy named Jungkook in the examination room of Namjoon’s lab, he can’t seem to take his eyes off him. The second time he sees Jungkook it’s because he refuses to eat without him. The third time they meet, Jungkook is more teeth and claws than Jimin can handle.” ((OK SO I KNOW THIS FIC IS NOT COMPLETED. BUT LISTEN it’s worth it. Ohhh so worth it. Plus the author tends to finish all of her fics. Superd kind, replies to all comments. This fic is the beginning of a masterpiece. Not like any ABO. The plot is so great. The characterization is A+++. So much tension. So intriguing. JM is an omega. JK is a beta that will become an alpha artificially cause they are extinct. It doesn’t go so well. Please read it. Trust me on this one. You won’t regret it.))


So this is all of my ultimate favorite fics! I still have plenty I would like to recommend, but I figured too long posts annoy everyone. Tell me if you liked this list and if you would like me to do some others :) I was thinking about doing thematics ones, like fluffy, smutty, angsty… Tell me if that would be something you’d like! 

If you have any fics to recommend me, please please please do so!

This fandom is great. This ship is great. Don’t forget to comment on the stories you read to encourage these fabulous authors!

Thank you for reading!