Remember how I leave tumblr to take care of my mental health?
Okay, so I stayed here for a few days, have some discussions about the America thing on my dash, and that night I had a break down,
Messages like this arrive:
How can you say stuff like that to a person who leaves Tumblr because she had suicidal ideas again?
Im 99% sure it was different people this time. As you can see, they mentioned the Thomas Sanders’ fandom, which honestly concerns me because I highly doubt TS is okay with messages like this:
My favorite is this:
I’m honestly thinking on deleting my blog because it’s hard, honestly, I blocked anons almost SIX or SEVEN times since I created this blog, do you honestly think its fair?
I know TS fandom wasn’t like that, and Im concerned because I dont give a fuck about anons, but there are people more sensitive than i am that will clearly be more affected by this:
DO NOT SEND HATE MESSAGES
HATE IS NEVER OKAY
Y honestamente, Tumblr used to make me happy, but right it annoys me, because daily I receive messages saying how ugly, how stupid, and how i should kill myself. I won’t obviusly, but cmon, do not say this.
hasn’t read a book for fun in years because aside from lack of motivation, the swimming letters and jumbled words makes it hard for her to enjoy it
suffers from short-term memory loss — she’ll walk into a room and forget why she went there, or she’ll go into a book to fact-check something and can’t recall why she’s even flipping through the pages a minute later. sometimes she can’t remember whether she ate breakfast or not.
constantly misplaces her things, which is a result of her being disorganized — like shoving an assignment into the wrong binder when she’s in a hurry or can’t be bothered, or taking her phone into the kitchen and somehow finding it in the food pantry 20 minutes later
can’t keep her room clean for more than a few days before it’s a mess again, cluttered with textbooks and sketchpads and clothing littering the floor and shoved into the corners
never fails to procrastinate on her assignments, no matter how small. you could give her a whole year and she would still wait till the last minute
has trouble staying focused and often loses her train of thought — she could be giving a meticulously thought out explanation on something she’s passionate about and just completely go blank
will stare at the pages of her stupid textbook with tears of frustration in her eyes, silently begging herself to just focus because this reading was supposed to have been done weeks ago, but no matter how hard she tries the text on the page won’t stop jumping around
goes days and days without brushing/washing her hair and wears the same clothes for a whole week
becomes anxious and irritable at small things like a ticking clock or the beeping sound the smoke detector makes when its battery needs to be changed
gets sudden bursts of inspiration to start a completely new project at the most inappropriate times, like during an important lecture or at 1 am when she should be writing an essay that’s due the next morning.
because of this she ends up with a lot of incomplete works-in-progress and half-assed assignments
absolutely despises school and gets anxiety thinking about going back to class come sunday night
pretends to embrace the fact that people think she is “scary” and “intimidating” but after years of hearing it becomes very insecure — she wishes she were the first person to come to peoples’ minds when they think of someone nice and friendly.
is constantly insecure and ashamed of herself because she’s supposed to be debunking that stupid ‘dumb blonde’ stereotype but wonders if she’s only encouraging it when she looks back at her slip-ups/flubs during conversations and small mistakes on tests and terrible first impressions she’s made and every single impulsive decision she made that went wrong and— what kind of Athena kid is she?