Dark Souls’ Kings And Lords

Gwyn: I will raise this son as a daughter and in general take a whole diarrhea on him regardless of his merits and accomplishments because he was born aligned to a different aspect than me. I will also disown my other son and erase any records of his identity and history. I embarked on genocide of dragons for possibly very shady reasons, and was fully on board with a dangerous project to recreate that which cannot be replicated, resulting in a catastrophic failure that mutated a wise and peaceful civilization into murderous beast. You are supposed to feel bad about having to kill me, as the sad piano that plays while we duke it out suggests.

King of Oolacile: Dude, what if we totally dabbled in the forbidden arts with our golden sorceries (read: utility spells) as our only back-up and tortured this ancient conglomeration of twisted existences that we revived just to satisfy our sick curiosity? That’d be RAD, I hope nothing about this bites us in the ass down the lane, am I right.

The Four Kings: Man, it was really a challenge, but we finally got this whole New Londo jimjam going strong and steady! *phone rings* GUYS, THIS SNAKE THAT ANTAGONIZES EVERYTHING WE STAND FOR PROMISES TO TEACH US THE 120% ILLEGAL ART OF LIFEDRAIN, LET’S ROLL, I MEAN, WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

King Vendrick: *playing the harmonica off-note in his shitty crypt* I married this really hot chick but she turned out to be, like, a literal aspect of darkness hell-bent on the obliteration of civilization, so, hey, whatevs, man, you gotta compromise in marriage, right? *takes a swig of a black label Johnnie Walker* she then was like “honey, you gotta murderize that entire civilization of peaceful giants”, so we did! It was GREAT, we lost over half of our population, I redefined the concept of “war crime”, it was mad cool, man, well, except for the part where I realized what I had done, engaged full pussy mode, and locked myself in a crypt, where I took to wandering naked and afraid while my bodyguard protects me, despite the fact that I am insanely strong and immortal and wise. WHATCHA GONNA DO *LIFTS ARMS IN MOCK SURRENDER* *LAUGH TRACK PLAYS*

Duke Tseldora: SPIDERS

The Sunken King: Whew! That took a LOT of time, but we finally did it! We built a whole city around this slumbering dragon, our object of worship! This is, in no way, a dangerous idea at all. You know what is also not dangerous? Why, those famed Dragonslayers coming over by yonder, the Drakeblood Knights, led by Sir Yorgh, famed Dragonslayer! Let’s see what they want!

Old Iron King: LOOK AT ALL THIS METAL, HOMIE. LOOK AT MY COOL ASS SAMURAI MAN TEACHING MY KNIGHTS TO BE SAMURAI, HOMIE. LOOK AT THIS BITCHIN’ FUCKIN’ FORMER DRANGLEIC KNIGHT, RAIME, WHO CAME TO SERVE ME, HOMIE. YEAH BABY, WE GOT IT ALL IN THE IRON KINGDOM, WE GOT THESE CROSS-CULTURAL SAMURAI KNIGHTS PIMPING UP THE PLACE WITH PLATE ARMOR AND IAI, MAN, AND WE– H-hold on, Alonne, baby? Where you going, man? Baby, no, I can change, I swear, please come back, baby, NO, BABY, ALONNE *SHANKS ALONNE* aw fiddlesticks well I guess my kingdom goes to fuck now ‘cause I will throw the biggest, meanest tantrum in the history of big diaper pissbabies LET’S GO

Ivory King: Hello! I love you! Yes, you! Whoever is reading this, I love you! I really do! And while I love you a lot, there’s someone I love even more, and that’s my beautiful wife, Alsanna! God, I love my wife, she’s so beautiful and kind and smart, I just want her to be happy forever. I know, she’s a literal aspect of darkness who came with evil intentions and zealous desire to raze my lands, but, I know that anyone, anyone, is capable of redemption, and my love has confirmed that. I love my wife, and I love my kingdom Eleum Loyce, my capable knights, my beautiful tigers, my kingdom of snow and peace! Wanna know a secret? I built my kingdom right on top of the Old Chaos to contain it, to keep it in check, so it wouldn’t rampage across the world. Ah, I’m really sad to have to cut this short, but my soul, well, it wavers. After so many years of fighting it, my very fabric is yielding to the overwhelming chaos. As an ultimate act of sacrifice, I will give myself to the Flame, contain the whole essence of the Old Chaos within my body, and keep it wrested to the ground, so it can never harm anyone evermore. I am glad to have met you, but I must go now. Please live a wonderful life! Shout out to my beautiful wife!


Oceiros, the Consumed King: *spams your Facebook feed with photos of his invisible baby*

Nameless King: Funny story, but I am actually not a king. Anyways, check out these delayed attacks and these FPS drops.

Prince Lothric: What If Stay Home Instead

Never Too Late (18010 words) by jackstylinson

Harry’s confused for a moment before it hits him: the little boy is signing. Harry squats down to get to the boy’s level again and mirrors the same action.

“Dad?” He inquires. Harry learned basic sign language after having met a fan who was deaf. He made it his mission to learn signing so that he’d be able to communicate with other fellow hearing impaired fans.

The little boy smiles brightly, his tears now long gone. He goes on to extend both hands, palms up as if he’s asking where? Followed by the previous sign which means Dad. Harry smiles to himself at the amazing little guy standing in front of him.

He stands up taking the boy’s hand, “Let’s go find your dad,” he tells him making the motion with his hand.

 Just having come out of the closet and recovering from vocal surgery, famous recording artist Harry Styles needs to get away from LA to work on new music needing to prove to his label that his career isn’t over. Little does he know that his life is about to change forever when he runs into an old friend at the city he’s decided to escape to.

Kuro Characters as Memes
  • <p> <b>Sebastian:</b> nyan cat<p/><b>Ciel:</b> how to talk to short people<p/><b>Real Ciel:</b> dark kermit<p/><b>Wolfram:</b> all your base are belong to us<p/><b>Sieglinde:</b> if you know what I mean<p/><b>Alois:</b> gangnam style<p/><b>Claude:</b> thank you for (not you) ...<p/><b>Nina:</b> the dress<p/><b>Lizzy:</b> she protec but she also attac<p/><b>Ronald:</b> damn daniel<p/><b>Grell:</b> you're doing amazing sweetie<p/><b>Othello:</b> me, an intellectual<p/><b>William:</b> *making my way downtown, walking fast* *walking faster*<p/><b>Vincent:</b> don't talk to me or my son ever again<p/><b>Diedrich:</b> *record scratch* *freeze frame*<p/><b>Viscount Druitt:</b> ya like jazz?<p/><b>Bard:</b> kill it with fire<p/><b>Finny:</b> precious cinnamon roll too good for this world too pure<p/><b>Mey Rin:</b> Yeah, it broke apart. Don't worry about that. It does that all the time<p/><b>Abberline:</b> this is the future liberals want<p/><b>The S4:</b> the evolution of dance<p/><b>Soma:</b> I want to love and support you<p/><b>Agni:</b> guess I'll die<p/></p>

“Butterfly” UFO over Ohio-Kentucky Border

There was a video that surfaced recently of this UFO flying near New Boston, Ohio. A father and son recorded an “eerily silent” UFO flying southwest into Kentucky. When zoomed in the details of the craft are quite striking. The UFO moved silently through the sky in the video and the father and son went home. On their way back home they spotted two military helicopters heading in the same direction about 5 minutes down the road. Does this craft look man-made or more like an alien spacecraft? Those who’ve seen this video are split in their decision? What do you think?

I couldn’t find a good quality raw video of this, but SecureTeam10 did a fantastic breakdown of the footage. I didn’t want to post his content on my blog but you can watch his video here.

What do you think? Stay curious!

Like Father, Like Son | Suga

Originally posted by sugastoungetechonawlogy

Description: You let Yoongi take your son to the recording studio to spend time together but when they stay there past his bed time you decide to see what’s take them so long.

Word Count : 822


I look at the clock for the fifth time and there is still no sigh of my boys. Yoongi was supposed to be home before 9 and it is now 10:30. I love when Yoongi spends time with our son, Yejoon, but when he takes him to the studio I almost hesitate to let him go. Yoongi never knows when to call it a night especially when he`s working on new music. Knowing how Yejoon is so curious about every little thing including all the shiny buttons that the recording studio has, he won`t object to stopping.

Yoongi was never one to think about having kids but I wasn’t too worried considering since he ended up marrying me, something I never expected from him. Just like becoming a mom, it came naturally for Yoongi to get into the dad role.

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Flatwoods monster

In West Virginia folklore, the Flatwoods Monster, also known as the Braxton County Monster or the Phantom of Flatwoods, is an entity reported to have been sighted in the town of Flatwoods in Braxton County, West Virginia, United States, on September 12, 1952. Stories of the creature are an example of a purported close encounter of the third kind.

Flatwoods Monster

Sub grouping: unidentified extraterrestrial

Other name(s):
Braxton County Monster
Phantom of Flatwoods

Country: United States

Region: Flatwoods, West Virginia


Location of Flatwoods, West Virginia

Various descriptions of the entity exist. Most describe it as being at least 7 feet (2.1 m) tall, with a black body and a dark, glowing face. Witnesses described the creature’s head as elongated, shaped like a sideways diamond, and as having non-human eyes; a large, circular cowling appeared behind the head. The creature’s body was described as “inhumanly-shaped” and clad in a dark, pleated skirt-like exoskeleton, later described as a shadow.

Some accounts record that the creature appeared to have “no visible arms” due to its incredible speed, while others reported long, stringy arms, protruding from the front of its body, with long, claw-like fingers.The creature is referred to as the “Lizard Monster” on the March 10, 2010, episode of MonsterQuest. Some witnesses reported seeing a large, pulsating red ball of light that hovered above or rested on the ground. Ufologists believe that it may have been a powered craft that the entity had piloted.


A newspaper clipping of the story of the Flatwoods Monster

At 7:15 p.m. on September 12, 1952, two brothers, Edward and Fred May, and their friend Tommy Hyer (ages 13, 12, and 10 respectively) witnessed a bright object cross the sky, coming to rest on land belonging to local farmer G. Bailey Fisher. Upon witnessing the object, the boys went to the home of the May brothers’ mother, Kathleen May, where they told the story of having seen a UFO crash land in the hills. From there, Mrs. May, accompanied by the three boys, local children Neil Nunley and Ronnie Shaver , and 17-year-old West Virginia National Guardsman Eugene Lemon, traveled to the Fisher farm in an effort to locate whatever it was that the boys had seen.

Lemon’s dog ran ahead out of sight and suddenly began barking, and moments later ran back to the group with its tail between its legs. After traveling about 0.25 miles (402 m) the group reached the top of a hill, where they reportedly saw a large pulsating “ball of fire” about 50 feet (15 m) to their right. They also detected a pungent mist that made their eyes and noses burn. Lemon then noticed two small lights over to the left of the object, underneath a nearby oaktree and directed his flashlight towards them, revealing the creature, which May reported as bounding towards them. Other sources[which?]describe it as emitting a shrill hissing noise before gliding towards them, changing direction and then heading off towards the red light. At this point the group fled in panic.

Upon returning home, Mrs. May contacted local Sheriff Robert Carr and Mr. A. Lee Stewert, co-owner of the Braxton Democrat, a local newspaper. Stewert conducted a number of interviews and returned to the site with Lemon later that night, where he reported that “there was a sickening, burnt, metallic odor still prevailing”. Sheriff Carr and his deputy Burnell Long searched the area separately, but reported finding no trace of the encounter other than the smell. Early the next morning, Stewert visited the site of the encounter for a second time and discovered two elongated tracks in the mud, as well as traces of a thick black liquid. He immediately reported them as being possible signs of a saucerlanding, based on the premise that the area had not been subjected to vehicle traffic for at least a year. It was later revealed that the tracks were likely to have been those of a 1942 Chevrolet pickup truck driven by local Max Lockard, who had gone to the site to look for the creature some hours prior to Stewert’s discovery.

After the event, Mr. William and Donna Smith, investigators associated with Civilian Saucer Investigation, LA, obtained a number of accounts from witnesses who claimed to have experienced a similar or related phenomena. These accounts included the story of a mother and her 21-year-old-daughter, who claimed to have encountered a creature with the same appearance and odor a week prior to the September 12 incident. The encounter reportedly affected the daughter so badly that she was confined to Clarksburg Hospital for three weeks. They also gathered a statement from the mother of Eugene Lemon, in which she said that, at the approximate time of the crash, her house had been violently shaken and her radio had cut out for 45 minutes, and a report from the director of the local Board of Education in which he claimed to have seen a flying saucer taking off at 6:30 a.m. on September 13 (the morning after the creature was sighted).


After encountering the creature, several members of the September 12 group reported suffering from similar symptoms, which persisted for some time and which they attributed to having been exposed to the mist emitted by the creature. The symptoms included irritation of the nose and swelling of the throat. Lemon suffered from vomiting and convulsions throughout the night, and had difficulties with his throat for several weeks afterward. A doctor who treated several of the witnesses is reported to have described their symptoms as being similar to victims of mustard gas, though such symptoms are also commonly found in sufferers of hysteria, which can be brought on by exposure to a traumatic or shocking event.

Conventional explanations

After examining the case 48 years after the event, Joe Nickell of the paranormal investigation group Committee for Skeptical Inquiry (CSI), then known as CSICOP, concluded in 2000 that the bright light in the sky reported by the witnesses on September 12 was most likely a meteor, that the pulsating red light was likely an aircraft navigation/hazard beacon, and that the creature described by witnesses closely resembled an owl. Nickell claimed that the latter two of which were distorted by the heightened state of anxiety felt by the witnesses after having observed the former. Nickell’s conclusions are shared by a number of other investigators, including those of the Air Force. Skeptics have also proposed misidentified owl sightings as explanations for the Mothman and the Kelly-Hopkinsville encounter .

The night of the September 12 sighting, a meteor had been observed across three states—Maryland, Pennsylvania and West Virginia—and had been mistakenly reported as a flaming aircraft crashing into the side of a hill at Elk River, approximately 11 miles (18 km) southwest of the location of the Flatwoods sighting.[citation needed] Three flashing red aircraft beacons were also visible from the area of the sightings,[citation needed] possibly accounting for the pulsating red light seen by the witnesses and for the red tint on the face of the creature.

A barn owl, seen with “claw-like hands” and a face shaped “like the Ace of Spades”

Nickell concluded that the shape, movement, and sounds reported by witnesses were also consistent with the silhouette, flight pattern, and call of a startled barn owl perched on a tree limb, leading researchers to conclude that foliage beneath the owl may have created the illusion of the lower portions of the creature (described as being a pleated green skirt). Researchers also concluded that the witnesses’ inability to agree on whether the creature had arms, combined with Kathleen May’s report of it having “small, claw-like hands” which “extended in front of it”, also matched the description of a barn owl with its talons gripping a tree branch.

Alternative explanations included those put forward by the local media: that the September 12 group had witnessed the impact of a meteor which resulted in a man-shaped cloud of vapor, and those of Kathleen May and her sons (recorded some time after the incident); that they had seen some kind of covert government aircraft.

References in popular culture

Flatwoods held an annual festival to celebrate the “Green Monster”. The three-day festival included a weekend of live music, the Green Monster museum and trips to the site of the original sighting. The last year the festival took place was in 2006.

The final boss at the end of the videogame Amagon

A creature resembling the description of the Flatwoods monster appears as the final boss of the 1988 NES videogame Amagon and as the stage 02 boss of the videogame Space Harrier II. Other videogame aliens with a similar appearance are “Gimme” in the Wii U game The Wonderful 101, the aliens referred to as “Them” in The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask, the Space World boss in Tumblepop, the Hayokonton in Wild Arms, enemies in the Las Vegas level of Ninja Baseball Batman. The player is capable of conjuring a version of the monster in the Scribblenauts game series.

The Flatwoods Monster appears in the “Mystery” apartment look in Tomodachi Life. The monster is shown in chapter 218 of the anime Shinryaku! Ika Musume, where one character uses its picture to scare another.

The Flatwoods Monster is the subject of Argyle Goolsby and the Roving Midnight’s song “The Being”.

The monster inspired the Braxton County CVB to create a series of oversized chairs in the likeness of the monster placed in Braxton County. The Braxton County Monster Chair project started in 2014.


Perfect Moments - Elias Lindholm

inspiration/soundtrack: requiem on water by imperial mammoth

requested: yes | no

word count: 1601

warnings: none

a/n: feel free 2 fight me about the soundtrack this came from. i also wrote this more than a month ago and it’s been clogging up my drafts so here we go 

Originally posted by faulker

alexander nicklas lindholm cried. a lot. you weren’t sure if he cried more than an average baby, or just as much. but he cried a lot, his tiny eyes squinched shut and his little fists waving in the air. it damn near broke your heart.

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BTS | Like Father, Like Child Masterlist

[EXO Version]


It’s dinnertime and your husband, Jin, volunteers to cook. It’s another family night at the Kim household.

Rap Monster 

You go out shopping with your family when Namjoon and your son get sucked into the world of Kakao Friends store.


You let Yoongi take your son to the recording studio to spend time together but when they stay there past his bed time you decide to see what’s take them so long.


Family time at Lotte World with the Hope family which makes you feel like you’re a single parent there with two kids, your daughter and your childlike husband, Hoseok.


You and your husband, Jimin, spend the day with your daughter at her ballet recital. When an issue comes up with your daughter, Jimin is quick to fix it.


It’s time to get ready for bed. Your husband Taehyung is finally home and volunteers to get your son washed up. You see that there’s no doubt that Taehyung is the father of your child.


It’s a test of strength dealing with your two sons. It’s a good thing your husband Jungkook has it under control.


Warnings: none!


;Children. I always wanted one. Ever since I was young. So did Justin. And when I fell pregnant we were over the moon. Once I gave birth to our beautiful baby boy, I was instantly in love and I knew Justin felt the same. He loved our baby with everything he had. I never regretted having him one bit.

;But moments like these is when I wish I could just shove him back where he came from. Even if I do love him he can be a big pain in the ass, but yet again he’s my pain in the ass.

“C'mon, please Jason.” I pleaded to the five month old. “Just go to sleep.”

He continued to whale about, squirming around, giggling and crying all at the same time. I sighed, looking down at the phone in my hand. “Jason,” I whined. “It’s way past your bed time. Actually, it’s way past my bed time.”

Jason only leaned forward and clapped his hands, giggling as if it where funny he was making his mother both exhausted and frustrated. I rubbed my hands over my face, making sure to put extra pressure over my tired eyes and sighed. “You know what, I’m just gonna leave you in your crib. You can sleep on your own.”

I picked the five month old off Justin and I’s shared, king bed and moved him over to his crib in the corner of the room of which Justin insisted on putting in here. I wanted Jason to have his own room but Justin convinced me to put it in here until he was one.

I placed Jason in his large crib and secured the cage to make sure he wouldn’t roll out. Jason only looked up at me with dreadful eyes and began whimpering. I chose to ignore the boy since I knew what he was trying to do.

He may be young but he’s smart. He knows just how to push my buttons and get my attention.

With hesitance, I ran out of the room and quickly shut the door, instantly regretting my actions. I leaned up against the door and listened out for any noises.

It was silent at first, giving me hope that maybe he had decided it was time for rest. All being heard was slight tossing and turning until Jason’s fidgeting turned into whimpering, then cries for attention.

I groaned on the spot and quickly entered the room again to see the boy standing, holding the sides of the crib for balance while yelling out cries.

I quickly pulled him out of the crib, muttering quiet profanities under my breath and moved him to lay down back on my bed. “Why won’t you sleep?” I whined.

I lay Jason down on his stomach and switched the side table lamp on. I then moved to sit directly in front of him with my legs crossed on the bed.

He stopped his tears and looked up at me with his mouth cascading open and wide eyes staring up at my form. It made me realise just how much I really loved him and how I could not stay mad at my beautiful baby boy, even if he has currently deprived me of 5 hours of sleep.

I sighed, lying back on the bed besides my baby, and he quickly used that as an invitation to scoot over to me and climb on my stomach. He lay over my body, kicking around happily and I then just decided that if he wasn’t going to let me sleep, I could at least try to get a little bit of rest.

I closed my eyes, making sure to keep my hand on Jason, just Incase he scooted off somewhere where he could hurt himself and slowed down my breathing but Jason seemed to not have been happy at my current actions and made quickly to spin around and slap my face with his little hands.

I groaned, finally feeling like I had had enough. I quickly shot up, grabbing ahold of Jason’s body and lay him in his crib. He instantly began to cry, sitting up, refusing to sleep.

I once again was about to give in to his cries and cradle him in my arms until I got a glance at the time on my side table ‘3:18am’, realising that enough was enough and I needed to sleep.

“Go to bed Jason. No more!” I yelled in a babyish but demanding tone.

His cries only became louder at my reaction and he made quick to begin kicking about. Minutes had passed of me just lying in bed, listening to his screams and once again, I got up and placed him on my sheets.

“Oh baby boy.” I sighed “What do you want? Are you hungry?” I asked him. He continued to cry. “Do you want your pacifier?” Still cried. “Blankie?” No use.

"What is it?” I whined. That’s when my ringtone began to go off, and I quickly looked across the bed at my phone to see Justin’s ID plastering the screen. I slowly made my way to answer it, placing the phone on speaker while trying to calm Jason down.

"Hey babe. Your awake? I didn’t think you would be.” He stated, but he soon must have heard Jason’s cries since he asked “is that Jason?”

"Yeah. He won’t let me sleep.” I whined. “I don’t know what he wants.”

“Aww. Is Jason being fussy?” Justin cooed. “I’ll be home soon baby, just try and put him down.”

"I will-” I suddenly stopped mid sentence once I realised that Jason’s cries had come to a stop. I spun around to see Jason laying on the sheets silently.

"He stopped.” I said in shock.

"Good. Try and put him to sleep then.”

Jason began to smile and kick around, but stopped once Justin stopped talking. I furrowed my eyebrows at my sons actions and said, “Justin, say something.”

"What? Why?” Justin asked

Jason giggled.

"Say something again!” I smiled.

“Umm….I love you?”

;Jason began smiling and kicking his legs happily. I smirked slightly. “How far are you?”

“I’m turning Into the driveway now.”

“Good. Hurry into the room.”

I hung up the phone and watched as Jason’s attitude turned from a happy one back to a fussy one. Soon enough Justin had made his way into the room, a massive smile on his face once seeing his son laying on the bed. Jason now shared the smile at the sight of his father.

Justin ran forward and grabbed ahold of Jason, holding him the air while attacking his face with kisses. “Aww my Baby boy!” He smiled.

Jason giggled, waving and kicking his hands and feet around until Justin placed him back into the bed, leaning into to give me a kiss.

"Hey baby. How are you.” Justin asked.

I sighed. “Tired.”

Justin smirked and turned to Jason. “Are you keeping mommy up for attention? Don’t worry son, me too.”

I Chuckled lightly “I just don’t understand. He won’t sleep.”

We both turned around to see Jason smiling in the bed again, looking up at Justin, who had poked out his phone and started recording his son. Suddenly Jason began to roll, getting closer to the edge, I quickly jumped forward grabbing ahold of him before anything could happen but he was so close to the edge, and I guess the shock had caused him to cry.

Justin quickly ran forward, taking ahold of Jason in his arms. He quickly quieted down as Justin rocked him back and forth, in a matter of minutes the room was completely silent.

I furrowed my eyebrows and leaned forward to see Jason sound asleep in Justin’s arms. My mouth fell agape, A look of shock on my face as Justin slightly chuckled. “Wha- how?! What did you just do that I haven’t done in the last 5 hours?!”

Justin smiled with a shrug “Guess us guys just stick together.”

"No. Guess he’s just a daddies boy.”

"He just loves me.” Justin stated proudly.

"No, he’s just a suck up to you. And your a suck up to me, meaning you both can kiss my ass.“ I smiled.

;Justin gasped "did you just tell your five month old son to kiss your ass?” He chuckled.

“It’s not that big a deal, I mean, he practically came out of it.”

"No he didn’t, he came out of your vagina.” Justin laughed. I shrugged.

“same difference.”


National Treasure 2 AU

Killian Jones is a historian who is known for finding the most difficult of history’s secrets and bending more than one country’s laws to bring them to light. After accidentally unearthing a lost journal from his ancestor, the British explorer Captain James Cook, he learns the treasure he’s been searching for since he was a little boy is right at his finger tips. But then his nemesis and fellow historian Arthur Pendgraon appears and puts Killian’s life long pursuit to a grinding halt with one accusation. With the help of his best friend, David Nolan, and older brother, Liam Jones, he will have to clear his ancestor’s name while racing against the clock to ensure the world’s greatest archeological find doesn’t fall into the hands of a corrupted historian. What Killian doesn’t know is that in diving into Captain Cook’s past, a part of his own will walk back into the present in the form of his ex-girlfriend and the woman he’s still in love with, Emma Swan. Because history is never really forgotten… is it?

A little birthday present to the House to my Wilson, @ive-always-been-a-pirate! I will write this story for you one day but in the mean time, have a little snippet I made for the special occasion of your birth. :) (small scene under the cut)

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empty nest | alfie solomons

the kids are all grown up and the solomons house is empty…for about two whole seconds

“It’s quiet. This house hasn’t been quiet since the day we bought it” Alfie noted as the two of you sat side by side at the bottom of the stairs.

It was quiet. Too quiet, in fact. Daisy was with Miriam at their house. Reggie was settling in to his new flat - assuring you both that it was a sound property investment that attracted him, rather than the proximity to the club he’d just bought. And now Hiram had packed up and headed off for a six month tour of some forest somewhere, unpronounceable names optimistically already labelled on his specimen jars.

“We did alright, didn’t we?” You asked, turning your head where it rested in your palm. Your elbow dug into your knees as you leaned onto it, tired eyes slowly blinking and retreating.

“I think so, yeah. I think we did…alright, you know? I mean, yeah, there was a little bit of-“he flicked his wrist from where it also lay over his own bent knees “trouble here and there, but that’s raising kids, ain’t it?”

“Our daughter did murder someone, I mean is that…that’s bad, isn’t it?”

“She defended herself” he replied, tone showing he didn’t think it was pertinent to your otherwise stellar parenting record.

“Our sons killed people as well” you added, slightly more to a whisper.

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bts as dads: jhs

dad!bts au: kim seokjin | min yoongi | jung hoseok | kim namjoon | park jimin | kim taehyung | jeon jungkook

  • four kids: eldest son, older daughter, younger son, baby daughter
  • eldest son: jung haneul, 5 years old; older daughter: haewon, 4 years old; younger son: jung jihoon 2 years old; baby girl: jung hana, 1 month old
  • yes i fully believe hobi would pull a kardashian and make sure all of his kids’ names start with the same letter bonus if they all start with H
  • sibling dynamics up first
  • hobi’s oldest son is hobi. he is. you now have two hobi’s on your hand congratulations you might as well have named him hoseok jr because that’s what he is
  • he’s is always looking out for his younger siblings
  • the two middle children are like best friends; they all love each other but those two are especially close
  • but everyone’s favorite is baby girl jung obviously
  • i mean have you ever seen hoseok’s baby pictures?? the cutest
  • hobi is the fun dad and also the really supportive dad
  • is willing to take his kids anywhere and do anything with them if it’ll ensure their happiness
  • like if his little girl asks him to paint with her, even if he’s not a good artist the second she asks him, he’s already set up seven easels and all the watercolor paints in the world and pulled two smocks out of his back pocket
  • “dad can we go get ice cream please”
  • “haewon it’s the middle of winter and the ice cream shop is a 20 minute drive away”
  • “but dad pleeaaaaaaase!!”
  • “……ok get in the car but don’t tell ur mom”
  • you’d find out anyway but you shouldn’t be surprised hobi could never say no to his kids
  • i can see him taking them to the dance studio with him just to goof off or keep him company
  • they always cheer for him during dance practices with the boys
  • “gooooo daddy!!” “daddy’s the best dancer, sorry uncle kookie”
  • sometimes he teaches them old bts dances
  • he loves doing that
  • he’s so patient with them and he loves the father/child bonding time
  • and what better way to do that than doing something he loves with people he loves!!
  • he jokes that they could form their own dance squad (bts whomst?)
  • the kids are really invested in it
  • and they look up to him so much they’re so impressed
  • when they’re tired out after a session tho they just kind of come up to him and lift their hands up for upsies
  • and he can’t say no to any of them so basically it becomes a human totem pole of hoseok and his sleeping children
  • hoseok and his kids are the kind of family that roll up always looking really street chic and cool
  • they’re never matching outfits (there’s too many of them and something tells me the oldest would never agree to that)
  • and where on earth would you get matching outfits for a full grown man, a five year old, a four year old, a two year old, and a toddler??
  • that’s right no where
  • but everyone is still always well dressed and ready to pose
  • he never shuts up about his kids he loves his kids so fucking much
  • they’re all he talks about
  • “jimmie look at this video of hana eating applesauce isn’t she so cute?”
  • “hobi you showed me this yesterday”
  • “oh….. she’s still cute jiminie”
  • like yoongi, he probably takes his kids to the recording studio when he can
  • maybe not the babies, but definitely his two oldest
  • he loves seeing them dance around and play with the beats even though they have no idea what they’re doing  bc they’re so fucking cute
  • the oldest two favor uncle yoongi probably because they see him the most in the recording studio
  • and we all know how much yoongi cares for hobi just imagine how sweet he’d be for his kids
  • uncle joon and uncle jin babysit the littles tho
  • just imagine hobi playing a demo beat and letting his oldest son in the recording booth and he’s just like “haneul go!!”
  • and his little baby boy is in there spitting pure fire about his favorite cartoons and shit it’s so cute
  • tbh he’d probably sample his kids’ voices on a few tracks like background vocals here and there
  • you know how jay z released blue ivy’s freestyle recently……… that’s a hobi move expect that
  • hoseok is really big on family time especially bc you guys are such a big fam
  • probably stuff like fam lunches on saturdays and dinners and stuff
  • also because he loves his kids and they’re so cute with each other and you and just in general
  • wow hobi loves his kids
  • and tbh they’ll probably end up being daddy’s kids
  • if you thought you were getting at least one mama’s boy or mama’s girl then think again
  • because hoseok’s life revolves around his kids, but his kids’ lives also revolve around him
  • the kind of dad to want to document everything
  • “hobi why have you been walking around with a recording camera for the past week??”
  • “because jihoon is gonna say his first words soon i can feel it and i HAVE to get it on video”
  • lowkey does it because they’re cute, highkey does it so he can have tons of footage to look at when he’s missing them on tour
  • overall he’s just really supportive of his kids and invested in their happiness 24/7 and will do absolutely anything on this earth to make sure they’re always happy and smiling