She was single for more than a couple of years after her long term relationship. Her friends all badgered her to get back out there and start dating. It was getting pretty irritating. She could usually tone out the badgering. When they saw that they were wasting their breath, they would cunningly set her up on dates without her knowing. They were all so sneaky. It happened so much that she gave in and just let them play matchmaker.
They were going to give up after her few failed first dates, but this is where Sonny came in. They introduced him to her at a housewarming party. He was a great guy, but he was always so busy with work so they never introduced him to her. They all told her to just forget the whole pressure of dating and just give him a chance, as friends. It didn’t sound like such a bad idea, so she did. This was the only way she could get them off her back. When the friends saw how well they got along, they scheduled more group social hangings. The plan was to slowly ease her into seeing him more often and being comfortable with him. Thankfully, their plan worked. After all, they were both very likable people. Soon enough, they became friends. Not close friends at first, but friendship always takes time.
Sonny, was Sonny. He was the guy that everyone liked because he was overly friendly and quick to help anyone in need. The man had a way with taming sour atmospheres and always had a joke in the back of his mind. He was what people would describe a physical embodiment of a ray of sunshine. Though, if you were to ask her if she found him attractive at first, she would deny it. Why? Because she would say that he was loud, trying too hard to please others, and talked too much with his hands. Eventually, those annoying little things, turned into charming little things. It took some time, but she warmed up to him.
*whispers* Sonny and Pete because I need fuel for my soul.
Who said “I love you” first: Sonny says it in the heat of the moment. They stealing some kisses while they’re both still hiding the relationship from Usnavi and he mumbles it against Pete’s lips as a farewell and neither really process he said it until he’s gotten home.
Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Sonny’s background is Pete posing in front of one of his art works. Pete is smiling and his eyes are lit up and Sonny never feels more loved than when he sees that pic and knows Pete is looking at him. Pete’s background is Sonny playing his DS on Pete’s couch with his feet up looking like he belongs at Pete’s house.
Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: Sonny stays the night a lot at Sonny’s place and he has to get home without Usnavi noticing so he leaves the place early and doesn’t want to wake Pete so he leaves little notes like ‘Catch you later!’ and ‘Meet me at the spot at 8?’
Who buys the other cheesy gifts: Pete doesn’t buy Sonny things but he leaves little cheesy messages for him in grafitti that no one can decipher but Sonny knows exactly what they mean. When Sonny sees a wall graffittied with a reference to the movie they watched last night he smiles like an idiot and Usnavi asks him what’s it about and Sonny just tells him it’s nothing.
Who initiated the first kiss: Sonny did. It was after dark and Pete was showing Sonny around his previously finished art works and Sonny is in awe of how good of an artist Pete is and Pete gets a little flustered. Which is incredibly cute so Sonny just surges forward and kisses Pete.
Who kisses the other awake in the morning: Pete will kiss Sonny awake if Sonny sleeps in. This is unfair because Sonny knows he has to leave if he wakes up late but how can he get out of bed with Pete kissing him.
Who starts tickle fights: Sonny does all the time. He does it when he wants something from Pete and Pete is determined to say no for some reason so Sonny tickles Pete. This does little convincing for Pete but it cheers Sonny up to see Pete doubled over laughing. Pete relaliates of course. But not then. He does it when Sonny is least expecting it. Like in the middle of watching the new episode of the Walking Dead, Pete will pounce and Sonny is thrashing in laughter and pleading because their missing the episode but Pete won’t let up till Sonny crows Pete the winner which Sonny will never do.
Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Sonny, the eager boy, is always trying to jump in the shower with Pete. Pete attempts to say no but really there is no saying no to Sonny when it comes to Pete.
Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Pete shows up at the bodega when Usnavi’s on break and Sonny is left in charge. Sonny can’t leave because he’s taking care of everything but Pete brought him a sandwich and they eat it in the back room while talking shit about anything and everything.
Who was nervous and shy on the first date: Sonny is nervous because Pete is older and so cool and Sonny can’t possible be good enough for him. But Pete just grabs his hand and takes him to a movie. The theater is empty and they spend most of the time talking. Complaining about the movie or getting to know each other better until Pete kisses Sonny. They alternate between making out in the dark theater and giggling until the movie is over and an usher shoes them away.
Who kills/takes out the spiders: Pete does it. Sonny takes one look at a spider and nearly flips out. The thought of the eight legs and the eyes and the hairy little crawly- he just hates it. Pete thinks it’s cute how venhemently he hates spiders.
Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: Sonny de la Vega. He’s a lightweight and finds this out at a barrio party in which everyone under twenty-one is given one shot and Sonny accepts it happily. Then he spends the rest of the night looking for Pete. Going up to people asking is they seen his Pete? ‘Super hot guy that I’m incredibly in love with? No? Alright, thanks anyway.’. He eventually makes his way to Pete who tries to drag him somewhere he can be drunk without regretting what he did in the morning. But his ears are red and he’s smiling while Sonny hangs off him babbling about how much he loves him.
Soooo, I saw on @sofuckingchuffed and @ohbelieveyoume‘s tumblrs that they wanted a fic about giving Sonny all the cuddles after his horrible experience with Sgt. Coles, and almost getting killed (since I love their work so much, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to do this). Poor baby. I couldn’t agree more that he deserves all the hugs after this, (also still can’t believe the writers never mentioned this again???) so this fic happened! I hope you all enjoy!
I couldn’t get Tumblr to credit the gif (because Tumblr’s dumb):
Could I request a crossover between In The Heights and Hamilton where there is some sort of mix up between Usnavi and Hamilton? The situation could be anything, but it would be funny to see how everyone would react to the dopplegangers
I FINALLY WROTE IT. I guess third time really is the charm. I’m now down to one request so if you guys have any please send them in.
Send me a prompt if you want me to write something for you! If you use a list just specify old list or new list.
Alexander was unsure of how he had gotten himself into this situation. His specialty was writing debt plans, not fixing slushie machines. Yet here he was, lying on the floor of a bodega he had never seen in his life, trying to figure out the inner workings of its slushie machine.
The boy who had pulled him off the street was standing next to him, dancing anxiously from foot to foot.
“Come on, Navi,” he urged. “If we don’t get it working soon the Piragua Guy’s gonna outsell us, and then I’m gonna owe him twenty bucks.” He slammed a hand down on top of the machine. “Twenty bucks, Usnavi!”
Alexander didn’t respond; he was too busy staring helplessly into the depths of the machine. And besides, the kid hadn’t listened to him twenty minutes ago when he said he wasn’t Usnavi, so why would he listen now?
The boy bent over to study his face. “That’s it? No reaction? No lecture on how I shouldn’t be betting the lotto money?”
“Look, kid,” Alexander grunted, but the boy cut him off as if he hadn’t even spoken.
“I never thought I’d see the day when Usnavi de la Vega became the irresponsible one. Looks like I’m gonna have to take over the bodega now. You leave me no choice. The reign of Sonny de la Vega begins today.”
“I’m not Usnavi!” Alexander yelled, sitting up and banging his head on the machine. “My name is Alexander Hamilton.”
The boy—Sonny—froze and studied Alexander. He slowly became aware of the subtle differences between this man and his cousin. Alexander was skinnier, had longer hair and deeper shadows under his eyes. He was also much better dressed than Usnavi, with skinny jeans and a grey sweater.
“Oh. M-my apologies,” Sonny chuckled nervously. “You look exactly like my cousin.”
Alexander waved him off. “No harm no foul. Although,” he pulled out his phone to check the time, “I was supposed to meet my friends on that corner twenty minutes ago. The fact that none of them have texted me, however, makes me think I should find better friends.”
Sonny held out a hand and helped Alexander to his feet. “I’m sure they’re worried about you. Now, would you like a free sodapop before you go as compensation for accidentally kidnapping you?”
Alexander’s friends were, in fact, not worried about him. Because twenty minutes earlier, an unsuspecting Usnavi de la Vega had wandered onto the very same corner on which Sonny had found Alexander, and he was descended upon by three very energetic people—two men and a woman.
“Alex, my man!” One of the men yelled. He draped his large, muscular arm over Usnavi’s shoulders. “What’s up?”
Usnavi opened his mouth to respond but before he could the other man spoke in a heavy French accent.
“Mon petit lion!” he screeched. “What are you wearing?”
The first man pulled back and studied Usnavi’s large red button down, baggy jeans, and newsboy cap.
“Oh, dude,” he said. “We gotta get you some new clothes before dinner.”
The woman said, “As much as he needs it, there’s no time, Herc. John and Eliza are waiting for us at the restaurant.”
The first man—Herc—sighed. “Fine. Let’s go.”
The Frenchman looped his arm through Usnavi’s and pulled him along, chattering in incomprehensible French. Usnavi tried many times to interject in either English or Spanish, but the man was relentless. Herc and the woman—Usnavi heard Herc calling her “Pegs"—trailed behind them, critiquing his outfit.
Usnavi was led to a restaurant that he was sure he couldn’t afford. He was ushered inside to a booth where he was forced to sit down next to a freckled guy with curly hair. Pegs sat down next to a woman with long black hair, Herc sat next to Pegs, and the Frenchman pulled up a chair to sit at the end of the table.
“Hey, Alex,” the new woman grinned as Usnavi sat down.
The freckled man lit up upon seeing him. “Hey baby!” He leaned over and pecked Usnavi on the cheek.
Usnavi yelped, “Dios mío!” and leaped out of his seat. “Listen, I’m not whoever you think I am. I’m Usnavi de la Vega, I own the bodega in the Heights, and I am most definitely not your boyfriend.”
The group stared at him in shock, and the freckled man looked especially horrified.
“Oh my god,” he whispered, touching his lips lightly. “Oh my god.” He dug frantically into his pocket and called out his phone. “I gotta go call Alex.”
He pushed past Usnavi and ran outside.
“Well, this is sufficiently awkward,” Herc said.
The Frenchman stood up. “Je m'appelle Lafayette. These are my friends, Hercules, Peggy, and Eliza. The other one was John. I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for this whole, how you say, debacle.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Usnavi sighed. He took his hat off and ran his hand through his short hair, then replaced his hat. “God, this is gonna be quite the story to tell Vanessa tonight,” he laughed.
John came back in, dragging with him a man who looked almost exactly like Usnavi.
“I found him,” John said, looking relieved beyond comparison.
“You must be my doppelgänger,” the man who Usnavi assumed was Alexander said. He stepped forward and shook Usnavi’s hand. “Alexander Hamilton. I met your cousin earlier. That’s a nice bodega you’ve got, but I should tell you that your slushie machine is broken and Sonny’s been making bets with the Piragua Guy.”
Usnavi’s face paled. “I gotta go. Y'all feel free to stop by the bodega anytime.”
He rushed out the door and Alexander collapsed into the seat Usnavi had previously occupied. John sat next to him, clinging to his arm protectively.
“You guys,” Alexander began, spreading his hands on the table and examining his friends’ faces, “I’ve had one hell of a day.”
Do you think they are having Carisi yell at Barba so much so that we'll KNOW we're not going to get Barisi ? Like , they've been teasing us with Barisi , but now we're definitely not getting it .
lol I don’t think either of those things is true.
(warning: keeping it real, and referring to canon, platonic Barisi)
Season 17 Barisi
I don’t think the writers ever actively teased us with canon romantic Barisi. They just saw the potential between two “opposites”, two very different characters with one major thing in common (the law), and they let that dynamic unfold. The initial banter, the jokes, the grudging respect, the eventual support and camaraderie. On paper, it made perfect sense, and Raul and Peter brought it to life beautifully.
About the [Barba/Carisi] relationship, Esparza admits, “I don’t think [Barba’s] a
very good mentor, but I loved the way the Carisi/Barba stuff played out.
I didn’t respect him at first and then little by little I began to
Esparza and Scanavino are both happy with the evolution of this
relationship, says Esparza. “They started really writing for us and I
remember we had a moment were we looked at each other we were like, ‘oh
they’re giving us some really good stuff!’
So, to me, Season 17′s Barisi goodness was just clever writing. Making good use of two of the show’s best characters, letting two wonderful actors have fun, and exploring the Barba/Carisi dynamic in a humorous but also poignant way which enriched the entire season.
Season 18 Barisi
As for this season’s yelling, I don’t think it has anything to do with Barisi either. It has to do with Sonny personally. He’s not just yelling at Barba. He’s been yelling at witnesses and perps, too. In a recent interview, Peter said he feels that Carisi has been going through something dark:
There’s been nothing said explicitly this season, but I feel like off screen he may be dealing with some heavy stuff.
So I think that’s what the yelling is about. I don’t know if Peter knows something we don’t, or if this is his way of rationalizing all the Angry Cop scenes he has to act out. Still, it seems that Sonny is working through some personal issues, and his relationship with Barba is an unintended casualty. As is his sense of humor. Then again, the writers haven’t really cultivated any of the interpersonal relationships in S18, or even the feeling of a “squad”, so this isn’t surprising.
Also, let’s not forget (even though the writers clearly have) that Barba set up a job interview for Sonny, with a Brooklyn ADA, as a favor (btw you know how Strauss was on the show last week? A Brooklyn ADA? But he was a defense attorney, suddenly? lol). We never did find out how that job interview went. Maybe Sonny didn’t get the job? And he’s mad, lol? And he’s taking it out on Barba, because Barba made him believe he could do it? But he can’t?
I’d like to think Sonny’s professional frustrations are getting the better of him, and he’s lashing out at Barba because Barba has the job Sonny wants. Problem is, Sonny needs to shit or get off the pot. You don’t get to backseat drive a criminal trial. Sonny is welcome to offer suggestions, but he’s in no position to make demands. Barba is the ADA, Sonny is the cop. Barba makes the trial-related decisions, and he doesn’t owe anyone an explanation. If Sonny is frustrated, he needs to blame himself for deciding to stay with the NYPD.
Maybe that’s exactly what he’s been doing, and that’s why he’s angry. I truly hope that’s the season-ending conflict/culmination of Sonny’s anger issues. Otherwise, it’s all pointless. Which could very well be the case, of course. The writers seem to think that yelling = tension, and when an episode is otherwise dull (so, like, every week), they add some anger. Unfortunately, Sonny seems to be the popular choice for those outbursts, which is strange, since his previous characterization was far more mellow.
Let Peter and Raul have fun acting together, please :D
In Bad Boys, Dean was originally written as 14, but after it was filmed they thought that Dylan looked older, so they changed it to 16. That's why Sam looks so young... he was written as 10, not 12.
I mean… maybe? But even if this choice was made to up Dean’s age to 16 here (which fits with the timeline), this still looks “young” for 10…
Which I think was very deliberate, because this was all Dean’s memory. He had a choice here. Sonny said he’d back Dean’s play, even stand up to John if Dean decided he wanted to stay.
If it hadn’t been for Sam, I’m pretty sure Dean would’ve wanted to stay. But this was what made Dean turn down Sonny’s offer. Not that Dean was all eager to get back to working with John. Not that he wanted to be on the road hunting monsters. But that he felt he needed to be there for Sam, who even at 12 had a sort of innocence that Dean never did, and that he wouldn’t have much longer if Dean wasn’t there to keep it in place.
Imagine Sonny snagging a case that turns out to be his current S.O.
Requested by Anon~
Olivia nearly had to drag Sonny out of your room. She understood scarily well why the other detective was so distraught for you. It must be killing him, working this job and still being unable to protect you from that.
She closed the door before turning to Carisi, who was already shaking his head. “I know what you’re gonna say, Lieu-”
“You’re too close to this.”
Sonny’s head bowed and he was silent for a moment before looking back up to his Lieutenant. “Ya can’t ask me to sit this one out.”
Olivia gave a light sigh, glancing sideways to your door. “Don’t you want to be there for Y/N? They’ll need you, right now.”
“I know. And trust me, I’m gonna to be there for ‘em.” Sonny argued. Liv noticed the way his hands were clenching and unclenching. “But I can’t just sit by on this one. I swear, I won’t go overboard.”
Somehow, Olivia didn’t believe him. But with how desperate Sonny looked right now, she had no choice but to nod her head. “Fine. But right now, get in there. Make them feel safe.”
requested by anonymous: I hope you’re having a FANTASTIC day! I seriously check your blog every day omg. Could I pls request a (jealous) Sonny x reader where they’re dating & she has to go undercover and gets all dolled up/sexy & in a tight dress and pumps and he’s all hot&bothered in surveillance??? And wicked jealous when she has to flirt w their suspect who gets handsy with her and the rest of the squad teases Sonny abt being jealous?? (bonus if u insert some jealous Sonny sexytime after in there) love you!!!!
i changed the prompt a little bit and honestly i’m shitting myself @ the title why am i like this also i lowkey feel like sonny is v ooc -e
word count: 2185
warnings: nsfw content, female reader, cursing, mentions of rape
Once i almost killed myself in my tub!!! i slid, knocked my head , break my back on the corner of the tub, black bruise like a watermelon size in my back... a huge mess!! when i recovered some minutes ago i couldn't move cause of the pain!! thanks god i succeed to catch my phone which is never far. Anyway request is inspired about this! Sonny x Reader have a crush but not declared, she almost killed herself in the tub, Sonny is not her first choice to come to rescue her cause it's so embarassing
Sweetie!! I hope you like this and I’m sorry it took so long to get it done. And I’m sure ya’ll can tell I love Disney :)
“Finally!” You say to your coworker as you clock out of your shift from the restaurant.
“I hear ya y/n! What a day huh?!” She says.
You head out waving bye to your friends. You can’t wait til you get home and relax. This day had you all over the place. From running hot plates out to hungry customers to having bacon and eggs thrown in your hair from rambunctious toddlers. Your shift ends pretty early as you are part of the morning crew. Taking your usual route home and listening to your iPod on the way , you find yourself still picking food out of your hair.
“Sonny, where are you taking me?” Sonny is walking so fast, yet a smile is tattooed on his face. He holds onto your elbow to make sure you’re not falling behind. You watch the youthfulness ooze out and cherish this moment for you know what he has to deal with at work.
“Just wait, will ya’? It’s a surprise!” You two have been speed walking, almost jogging, for fifteen minute. You think maybe he’s taking you to the park or something, but you guys already passed it.
“Sonny,” you giggle. “Slow down!” You’re almost running to catch up to him.
“But they’re waitin’!” You furrow your eyebrows at your Sonny. You’re getting really excited at what this surprise could be!
“Who?” Sonny didn’t answer for a few more minutes, just looking back at you once in awhile to grin and show off his dimples.
Finally, he stops. You look up at him, puzzled.
“Them.” You turn your head to be faced with a building; New York’s animal shelter! You look at Sonny wide eyed. Oh gosh!
“Sonny, I want them all! Can we have them all?” Sonny stares at you with sympathy and amusement. A mixture of emotion is fizzing in your stomach and you don’t even know how you’re still managing at this point.
“I’m sorry, but we gotta make a choice, baby.” You look around one more time, sad that you can’t bring them all home.
“Woofus it is. Wait no, let’s take Coconut. Wait, wait… you make the choice.” Sonny intently looks at you as if apologizing with his eyes. You stare back at him, pleading for him to make the choice already. Plus, you can’t look at the dogs anymore or you would get even more sad at the unlucky ones.
“I think Woofus.” You jump a tad in excitement and hug your boyfriend.
"There's been something I've been meaning to say..."
… set in the “Heavy in Your Arms” universe created by myself and @booyahkendell.
Rafael sighed, thoughts heavy even as the moon shone a serene blue through gauzy curtains and the pale chest next to him rose and fell in the even intervals of deep sleep. He marveled at the man - both envious and astounded that Sonny was so calm as to fall instantly to sleep after the night they’d had. A night of revelations and confessions, of memories too far gone now for him to feel much more of them than seeing the stricken looks on Sonny’s face as he lived them alongside him.
The human half of their bond didn’t seem to be worth much, in his estimation.
His half involved not only sustenance, not anymore. Now he knew what it meant to be fulfilled. Not just alive, not just pacified. Rafael Barba, a man approaching his second century of life, finally knew what it felt like to be satisfied. The thick curl of bliss unfurling in his bloodstream keeping him buzzed and sated, long after his lips left the thrumming beat of Sonny’s pulse and instead found the tantalizing pink lips that had tormented him for so long.
Sonny, on the other hand, got to relive the whole of Rafael’s life in an instant - a spectator and participant, intimately familiar with the man through the connection of their shared memory.
A terrible compensation for the task of keeping him alive for the foreseeable future.
Sonny is so messy. Like…I don’t think he was recruiting Curtis but would I put it pass him? No. Jason really liked Shawn and depended on him and after Jason “died” , Shawn was Sonny’s right hand man. Now, Jason was close to Curtis and might not wake up from a coma and Sonny is talking to Curtis about anything he needs and Curtis is nice and is like anything you need I can help. Just ughh. Monica was right today. People make their own choices but I feel Sonny is a good seducer…
This may not be what you meant when you said with Barba, so hopefully you like it. For some reason, it’s where my head went immediately.
“Barba was on fire today.”
You nodded in agreement as you stood there with Sonny and Amanda, discussing the verdict, but your attention was elsewhere. You were watching Barba further down the courthouse steps, talking to reporters.
You’d also been impressed with his skill in the courtroom, but lately you found yourself admiring much more than his legal ability.
It was more than a little distracting.
“That last witness for the defense, he completely tore him a new one. He was great,” Amanda said. “Right?”
Still staring and half listening you nodded again, mumbling a response.
“Yeah, he always looks great.”
Sonny nudged you with an elbow. “What was that?”
The nudge broke you out of your trance-like state.
“I said he was great.”
Amanda and Sonny exchanged looks.
“You did not. You said he always looks great. And judging by how long you’ve been staring over there, I have a feeling you’ve been thinkin’ that for a while.”
You turned your back completely to where Barba stood on the steps.
“I didn’t get much sleep last night, and my head was somewhere else. It was just a slip.”
Sonny pursed his lips. “Uh-huh.”
“Nothin’ to get embarassed about,” Amanda added. “I mean, he’s not my type, but I can see it. Nice butt, too.”
You did your very best not to respond. You could tell by her smirk she was baiting you, and as hard as you tried, you couldn’t help but smile.
“Okay, yes, I think he’s attractive. Big deal.”
“And you think he has a nice butt,” Sonny teased. “Say it.”
“Will you both shut up and never speak of this again if I do?”
They both shrugged and gave a half-hearted nod.
“Yes, I not only think ADA Barba is cute, but I think he has a cute butt.”
“Well, that’s flattering.”
Your eyes widened and your stomach dropped as you saw the huge grins on both Sonny and Amanda’s faces, Barba’s voice behind you. You mouthed some choice words to the two in front of you before turning around.
“Nice job in court today, Barba.”
He smirked, eyebrow raised. “Thanks. I’d like to think it was my great legal prowess, but it might just be these new pants.”
In this episode we see Sonny begin to adjust this methods and show a bit of insight and astuteness with the
witnesses/perps/victims. To quote @knittingharlot “he puts them at ease and then… BOOM!”
Mic drop. Exit stage left. They never see him coming. heh.
I love this final scene. Just like Rollins, Sonny didn’t approved of Evie’s choice. You can see it in his face. It wasn’t judgement though, it was sadness. Sadness for this young girl who couldn’t see anything better for her life. However he personally felt though, he recognized what Evie chooses to do with her body (within the law) is her choice, not theirs. He also acknowledged Rollins had very strong feelings about it, note the way he firmly but gently guides her out. He also calls her Amanda, not Rollins which I think was a really nice touch. Now maybe one day someone will do the same for him.
I also wonder if two years later, would Sonny have given up so easily? Thoughts?
Push away: Mike. I like Mike, but he’s not really my type (and had we seen more development of the character maybe I’d feel differently, but he’s a bit emotionally closed off)
Marry: Sonny. It’s a tough choice, but Sonny is A+ Dad and hubby material. This is a guy who cooks dinner when you’ve had a long week, gets up with the kids in the middle of the night…he’s the full package.
Kiss: Amaro. I mean, he is gorgeous and passionate and yeah…
Cuddle: Barba. I was on the fence for swapping Sonny with Barba - but I’m going with having him as that guy who’s your bestie, who gives the best hugs and cuddles.
years now, Richard’s birthday had been dull and sad. Not a day like any other,
no, but a day of brooding and regret, of melancholy and sadness.
birthdays had been lonely, too.
himself deeper and deeper into his work, it was rare that he noticed the lack
of private life. The lack of people. Of family and friends. Work covered up for
the fact that he had none. Of course, being asked, he denied that. Counted the
many colleagues he’d have drinks with after work and who sometimes invited him
for a barbeque or a dinner as friends and companions. But the truth was that he
was lonely. The truth was that he was withdrawn and shielded.
He knew how
to socialize. He went for drinks when he was invited. He attended the Christmas
parties of his department dutifully.
But all of
this felt superficial and hollow.
Behind the façade,
he was alone.
It was days
like Christmas and his birthday that made it painfully obvious.
he always got a cake at the station. Of course, his colleagues and subordinates
gathered each year and sang a song for him. Of course, he got the typical
practical, yet anonymous gifts.
clips. Mugs. Gift cards. Scarves. A bottle of fine wine. A silver frame he
couldn’t fill with any meaningful picture. All of it strangely sterile and
had never been days to look forward to. Especially not when it started to snow
early. This made everything even more depressing and lonely.
had drastically changed about a year ago, when Sonny had crashed into his life
without finesse or elegance. Back in a cold, wet alley.
spent last Christmas with him. He’d started kissing Richard and allowed Richard
to kiss him in return. Richard had offered that he could move in. And Sonny had
asked him to quit his job. And Sonny had done that, too.
fallen in love.
weren’t easy, by all means. His life had become awfully complicated and
wonderful and filled with joy.
in heaven and hell at the same time.
In heaven when
he woke up to the little cherub smiling and quietly snoring in their bed. In heaven
when he fell asleep curled up around the small warm body at night.
even hell when his flat appeared like a battlefield when he came home.
It was hell
when Sonny had one of his teenage tantrums and left to pick up anonymous guys
to fuck him. It was hell when Sonny told Richard how much he hated him.
It was also
hell when Richard couldn’t sleep all night because of the dangerous game they
a little paranoid, even. Scared of discovery and the fatal consequences. Scared
that their perfect little idyll might pop like a soap bubble. One all too
curious eye, one all too sensitive ear would be enough. And everything would be
Not only had
he – the Commissioner of the District’s Purity Force, dutiful and honourable - an
affair with a minor, he had a homosexual
affair with a minor. (It was an affair, wasn’t it? Not something like a
relationship. That would be ridiculous
to believe, right?)
sometimes, the sheer terror of picturing that bubble pop, of losing his job and
his home and his freedom and above all Sonny
robbed Richard of his sleep and peace of mind and serenity.
these episodes never lasted long. Thankfully, there was usually a half-naked
Sonny bouncing through the loft or pouncing on him from behind. A bright and
cheerful laughter coming from the bathroom. A reassuring touch. These things
kept the shadows at bay.
even matter that he didn’t know Sonny’s real last name or his birthday and that
Sonny denied an answer whenever Richard asked. It didn’t even matter that his
confessions of love remained unanswered.
feel as awkward and strange as it should whenever he got no reply.
had discovered that he didn’t need it.
Sonny. And Sonny didn’t love him.
alright. Not really, of course, because the human heart was greedy and
unreasonable, but Richard was happy that, at least, Sonny wanted him. Needed
him. Lived with him.
enough and Richard was modest.
really expected anything for his birthday. Not really. Anything Sonny would
have bought him as a gift would have been paid with money from Richard’s wallet
anyway. Maybe he’d hoped for a kind word and a kiss. Maybe he’d hoped for a handwritten
card. Because whenever Sonny managed to read or write something out it filled
Richard with pride. Their lessons were frustrating and difficult and often
ended with Sonny throwing a fit, but it was worth it. And Richard was
ridiculously proud of every tiny progress and success.
Richard woke up, a toe almost stuck in his nose and Sonny’s nose rubbing
against his knee – he had given up wondering how the boy ended up in such
positions sometimes – when he greeted his angel boy and kissed his ankle, when
he waited with a hint of anticipation for Sonny’s answer… nothing happened.
There was no happy birthday. Not even
a tease about how old he’d become.
There was nothing.
behaved like it was a day like any other, groaned and rolled over.
shouldn’t sting so horribly. This shouldn’t feel so disappointing and painful.
only an affair, after all. Richard was lucky that a little rentboy like Sonny
would move in with him and give up his job. He should feel happy and lucky for
all of these things. Expecting him to remember his birthday on top of all had
probably been too daring and overconfident.
it hurt. Still, his heart sunk into his stomach and formed a strange hard lump
always eat breakfast together. Sonny loved to sleep in. And Richard loved Sonny.
So, often enough, he just bent down to kiss his little angel boy and told him
to stay in bed a little longer, let the tired mumbles fill his heart with
warmth and love for the day before leaving the bed.
made breakfast for Sonny, too, placing it on a tray for whenever the boy would
didn’t even make breakfast for himself, even though Sonny got up with him.
Richard just felt the urge to leave. He didn’t want the hard lump become
something upset. He didn’t want to make a scene because Sonny behaved like any
other day. Because Sonny had forgotten.
So he just
pretended being late and having a coffee at work.
came around lunchtime, a subtle buzz in the pocket of his jacket announcing
another arriving text or picture. Both could mean a disaster. It could be
anything, from a silly message full of mistakes and typos to a devastating
picture of a naked stranger in a hotel room. From a complaint about not enough
leftover gummy bears to another one of the Wondrous Adventures of Sonny’s Dick.
These made Richard laugh. They made him laugh and hard, made him sweat and
scared again. These messages were like Russian Roulette.
buzz or beep pushed Richard into a state of mixed feelings, something between
terror and anticipation.
Sonny how dangerous this game of his was. He’d told him in how much trouble he
could get both of them. He’d told him that – even though he was appreciating
the gesture and the undeniable splendour and grandiosity of Sonny’s cock –
Richard would much rather see it in person than at work on a tiny screen. With
people walking behind him. People with curious eyes.
had never stopped.
had never dared delete these masterpieces.
He knew Sonny
was bored at home. And for two or three months now Richard was contemplating
the thought of getting him a pet. Someone to take care of. But it was a
difficult choice. Sonny would find fish boring. He’d find a cat disappointing
whenever it would reject or ignore him. And Richard was afraid of giving
something as fragile and small like a hamster or a rabbit into Sonny’s
thought a dog might be a good choice. A small one, since he didn’t own a garden
or a big house.
A Jack Russell
or Yorkshire Terrier, he’d thought. A Welsh Corgi or French Bulldog maybe, or a
Beagle. Definitely something small. Richard just hadn’t decided yet. But it was
obvious that Sonny needed a little companion. Someone who’d keep him company
and would distract him from his boredom while Richard was at work. Someone who’d
keep Sonny from going out and tending to old bad habits again, too.
obvious that the boy was bored.
A dog might
save his loft the horrible fate of total destruction due to pent up teenage
of Sonny’s message pushed away all thoughts about dogs and dicks in an instant,
though. Instead, it brought a huge smile on Richard’s face and for a moment he
found it strangely difficult to fight the tears as his heart beat in his
of Sonny’s message wasn’t a picture of his dick. Or of a naked stranger. Or an
addition to the groceries list.
It was the
picture of a decadent birthday cake. Next to it Sonny’s ragged little plush bunny
wearing a ridiculous birthday hat in screaming colours. Sonny was nowhere to be
found on the picture, but Richard could swear he’d worn a hat as well while
taking the photo.
came with the message: We didn’t forget.
text was typical for Sonny, but Richard felt a warm wave of pride whenever he
didn’t find any spelling mistake or typo in them. No matter how short. No
matter how silly. He was proud of Sonny.
message was so much better than dick pictures and anonymous gifts at work.
shaking fingers, feverish and grinning like an idiot, he typed: You’re amazing. I want to come home and give
you a hug. I just decided I will leave work early. I’m going to finish this one
thing and then come home. Should be there in an hour or two.
No “I love you” or “miss you” at work. Nothing that could give him away. Nothing too
obvious. Although Richard doubted that most of his texts were subtle. But at
least he tried.
He was done
after fifty minutes and sped home, ignoring all speed limits on the way.
it was helpful to be a cop.
was jumping and dancing now and he felt giddy as though he’d never had a