To all my followers or anyone reading

Life, the entire span of your life, is worth it, and you deserve to be happy and have a fantastic life. Life can be very difficult sometimes, sometimes despairingly so. Sometimes you can be in a situation that seems hopeless. Maybe you feel unwanted or unloved or worthless or like you don’t fit in anywhere. These feelings may seem all too real, but I will tell you the reality is that the negative thoughts you have or negative assumptions you make aren’t real. You are worth everything, and you deserve to be loved and wanted and welcome, and you will find that love and comfort in your life, I promise.

I remember back in high school where I tried desperately to make friends. I thought I had some, but I was never really able to connect personally with any of them. I felt so out of place, like I had to impress everyone - my teachers, my family, and my so-called friends. With time, despite my desperate efforts, all my friends left me.

Moreover, my dad taught me not to think for myself. I never so much as thought to speak my mind to him on the many occasions I thought he was being unreasonable. It wasn’t until I turned 18 that I first tried telling him that he was treating me unfairly, and he responded by taking me on a car ride - just the two of us - where he lectured me on how I was never to question him, never to think for myself. Our house was a dictatorship, and he was our absolute ruler.

From all of this, I was taught to hide who I really was, to fear what others thought of me, to keep to myself. It got so bad that in 2013, I truly felt that I couldn’t continue. I locked myself in my room, complete unmotivated to continue my studies or my life as a whole. I was so depressed - who knows what I would have done had I not checked myself in.

But I did - I checked myself in to the emergency room that February. I was given a new perspective on life, and over time, I learned to love who I truly am and to be comfortable showing it.

By doing this, I’ve made the first true friends I ever had in college, started dating the most amazing girl I’ve ever met, and started dreaming about the future. My darkest days are behind me, and I have grown to love life!

So, to all my followers, either on my personal blog or my public blog, know that I love all of you. All of you are so kind - you’ve truly helped me through some of my darkest times. All of you deserve to be happy and I promise you will be. If you are in a very rough time in your life, I promise you it will get better. If you are thinking of ending your life tonight and need a sign not to, this is your sign to keep going. Please, you are worth everything, and I promise that in time, you will see just how amazing you are and how amazing life can be.