Although Sega of America made you ditch your fangs and your human
girlfriend Madonna (no relation to the pop star), you still ran your way
into our hearts when Sonic the Hedgehog debuted on the Sega Genesis in 1991.
But 2D wasn’t meant to hold you forever, and so in 1998 you broke into the true 3D scene with Sonic Adventure on the Sega Dreamcast. It seemed so pretty at the time it didn’t even matter that Mario had made the switch two years earlier than you.
But the good times didn’t last, did they Sonic? You got a little confused there for a while. Sure, there was Sonic Adventure 2 in 2001, but then you lost your way. Shadow the Hedgehog got a spinoff where he shot a bunch of guns, and then you tried the whole “human girlfriend” thing again in Sonic ‘06. This didn’t work out so great, and Zolani Stewart
called it “absolutely the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in a
video game,” but you soldiered on. After that, you tried to be a knight and a werewolf. We get it. It seemed like a good move.