songwriter ink

Joke Is Always Me

I don’t know why
I always fall
I always fail
I always crawl
I never tell
I want to lie

The meaning is
Much to me
With sudden moves
Silent screams
Torn aside
Ripped at seams

We dance inside
Broken words
Flattened notes
Off of time
Miss the beat
Stepped on feet

She says she loves
She says she lives
She says no more
She says she gives
She says so much
She says of him

The joke is always me.
Never seem to be.
Always far behind.
No one to complete.
Laughing at my cries.
Living suddenly.
Knocking at the door…
Someone let me in?

You don’t know why
You always fall
You always fail
You always crawl
You never tell
You want to die

The answer is
Less to you
With sullen moves
Lonely dreams
Kept inside
Flip the scenes

The joke is always me.
Never seem to be.
Always far behind.
No one to complete.
Laughing at my cries.
Living suddenly.
Knocking at the door…
Someone let me in?

Another mourning in the night is all
Picking up, hoping you would call.
Dial tone reminds me once more.
No one’s on the other end of the phone.

I don’t know why
I always fall
I always fail
I always crawl
I never tell
I want goodbye

The joke is always me.
Never seem to be.
Always far behind.
No one to complete.
Laughing at my cries.
Ending suddenly.
No one’s at the door…
To let me in.

-H. Murcia 10:54PM 1/11/2017

01/11/17 - 2:25pm

It scares me to think what’d I’d do for you
It scares me to think that I’m permanently glued
My guards down, the corners of your mouth raised up
My hands tightly clasped while my body loosened up
I’m really attracted to you, words can’t explain
No matter how I write it off you make me feel some type of way

It’s special, yet my conscious is levelled
I’m nothing more than an added conversation to your daily situations
We only text, no phone calls
An obvious limitation
Maybe configurations
Is what’s needed in our communication
It’s frustrating fighting over this, I only lose my patience
Degrading is how you speak to me, what are you insinuating
Not bout this back and forth shit overrated in our generation
I’m hella faded and the thought of us together keeps replaying

Just admit what you won’t
And I’ll let you in
My feelings go deep for you
Positive or negative
I’m trying to mean something in your life again
You meant so much more to me than any guy did.
Or does, ever will
Not gonna deny that
If I move forward
To you it’ll always come back
I wanna move forward with you
Have our nights spent with laughs
I’m happy and you’re with me
What else could top that?

Crack the shutters open wide, I want to bathe you in the light of day.
And just watch you as the rays tangle up around your face and body.
I could sit for hours finding new ways to be awed each minute, cause the daylight seems to want you just as much as I want you.
—  Crack the Shutters~ Snow Patrol
Well, this is what I look like with all my walls up
This is what I look like when you hurt me too much. 
This is what I look like when you leave me all alone
Because the truth is I’m a girl surrounded by stone. 
So maybe it looks like I don’t give a fuck
But this is what I look like with all my walls up.
—  All My Walls Up
Life's Lemons (a song inspired by Passenger)

I’m trying so hard
But I’m still not getting far
It’s like I’m going ‘cross the country
When I haven’t got a car
I’m eating all the lemons
That life constantly throws
'Cause I don’t have time for lemonade
And that’s just how it goes

You see, I want to travel the world
But I’m staying in one place
Yeah, I’m standing at the starting line
Watching the world race
And I’d love to do it all
Oh, but don’t you recall
That I still haven’t even got a car

Maybe I’m getting nowhere
Because I don’t know where I’m going
So I’m walking back and forth
Hesitant and never knowing
If I’ll ever get somewhere
Or if I’ll spend my whole life pacing
Afraid of dipping my toes in water
'Cause who knows what fish I’m facing

But I swear I’m not fearful,
I’m just not exactly daring
And the more that I keep trying
The less that I start caring
If only I could drive away
Forget it all just for a day
But I still haven’t even got a car

Oh, oh, what can I do
When there’s no way to start new
Or freeze time and wait 'til it’s right
But this time a fish might just bite

Fake it 'til you make it, they say
So I’ll say I’m optimistic
Maybe I don’t need a car
I guess walking’s more simplistic
And the next time life throws lemons
Maybe I’ll have time to make a pie
But whatever I do, I will live
I won’t let life pass me by

There’s a universe inside your head,
Constellations of the things you left unsaid.
—  Lauren Aquilina

I need to cut you loose,
but I love you loving me.
The truth is lonely,
I’m kissing you; it’s cruelty.
I can’t
love you like that,
never again,
but I can’t tell you that,
can’t just be your friend.

I’m a storyteller.

I need to turn my back,
but I want you wanting me.
Sucking on your bottom lip,
I love your love; it’s vanity.
I can’t
love you like that
never again
but I can’t tell you that
this is the end.

I’m a storyteller.

I need to walk away,
but I hate you hating me.
You sleep on my chest,
I’m protecting you; it’s cruelty.
I can’t
love you like that,
can’t try again,
but I can’t tell you that
we’re at the end.

I’m a storyteller.

—  Badu Taught Us How to Love
{lyrics - as usual, feel free to use as long as you ask me. xo}