songs for the deaf

Stay Full

I’ve starved myself
To boredom
For all the things
That matter
Like enjoying
Life’s simple pleasures
Or tastes
Of my favorite

And stories
I used to savor
In books
And films
Once cherished
For the reasons
They keep me
When hope
Is fictional bliss

Each day
I find no meaning
In consuming
What should be
As gifts
Of God apparent
Whose voice
Is barely heard

As a faint
And tainted whisper
By the sounds
Of loud tinnitus
That rings
Like bells of deafness
Over songs
Which keep me

And blast
Despite its dangers
Of losing them
When betting
My only wager
Just to risk
Music itself

And suffer
Despite the consequence
Of indulging
My claims
To freedom
By escaping the grind
Of labor
To replace
All work with play

As it seems
So vaguely tangible
Or a tale
That’s too transparent
Like truths
I’ve made of fantasy  
By defying
What most

And paid this price
As losing
All sense of enjoyment
When it comes
To the brink
Of obsession
And choice
Is a daily

A fable
I’d somehow written
In my laziness
Where the moral
Is too much
Can never sustain
One soul

A plot
That keeps us
To the point
Our needs
Are ravenous  
And dulled
Or wholly expected
To chew
What dreams
Stay full.

- J. Pigno

Random DCMK Things: If Gosho Boys Were a Boy Band-Shinichi’s Profile


Photo grabbed from Pinterest.

  • Shinichi would be the maknae (youngest) because he has that baby vibe in him. Let’s all blame the Conan fiasco.
  • He would get the least lines. All of them autotuned, as I have mentioned in my previous blog, but he would be really good with the instruments. Ahem, canon reference, he can play the violin. 
  • He would also be the one writing their songs. Since he’s good with instruments, has perfect pitch despite being tone deaf and because he has a way with word (something he got from his novelist father, Daddy Yusaku hihihi).
  • He would probably be the first one in the group to debut in acting. LOL ‘coz he got his Momma Fujimine  Yukiko’s talents. 
  • He would be really adorable during interviews ‘coz he’s used to the attention (I mean duh, he has celebrity parents) and has great personality.
  • He would often be shipped with Kaito or Heiji.
  • He wouldn’t be very good at skinships and fan service, so Kaito usually takes over. 
  • Shinichi would honestly admit to the fans, in an interview that he prefers HeiShin over KaiShin because Kaito’s too flirty. Heiji’s too clingy though, but Heiji ftw! (Yes, I’m very HeiShin biased XD Sorry KaiShin peeps.)
  • Shinichi would be curious of fanfics written about him. He’d find the ‘dark side of course and he’d be traumatized for life. hahahha
  • He would have a lot of escapades in Hawaii and would be posting pics in instagram. (His fangirls would like this a lot.) This also kind of makes Shinichi the Kim K of Gosho Boys. LOL ‘coz he’s soooo privileged. 
  • Shinichi’s sort of a drama queen. He’s also sort of a primadonna but Kaito is wayyyy worse. XD
  • He would be the member that would always mess up on stage and Hakuba would not be amused. XD
  • He’d also have lots of accidents on stage. Heiji and Kaito to the rescue always. Hahahaha
  • He’d often get scolded by Leader Hakuba. They’d fight very often during practices. Kaito and Heiji would often take Shinichi’s side.
  • He would have lots of fights with Kaito too though, lol coz Kaito’s very touchy with the fan service and Shinichi’s not comfortable with it.
  • He’d have lots of fangirls but his main gal would always be Gosho Girls’ Mouri Ran. And he’s VERY faithful too her. (Yes, I’m a ShinRan trash too.)

Also take note that I’m using Kpop Boy Bands reference for this scenario. Hope you liked this one! Tell me which Gosho Boy would you like me to write a profile on next. :D <3

I am the one before the one.

It’s a role I’ve learned to accept.

I am the one who will overload your senses, I am far too much of everything, but you will try to encompass all that I am. I will be the one who teaches you exactly what you want from “the one.” With me you will see things as though the lights were turned too high on the dimmer so that you could only see me and the music too loud that you couldn’t quite hear anybody else. With the next girl you end up with she will shine just brightly enough that you will be able to see everything you couldn’t see with me and the volume of her music will not leave you deaf when the song ends.
I will help you grow by pushing you to the extent of your limit, I will call you out when you’re wrong, I will ask you to do a little better than last time, and I will love you with a love you didn’t even know could exist.
It will feel as though one hand I’ve given you to hold holds all the love in the world and the other holds the words my tongue lashes out with no filter. But with those hands you will learn both the love you deserve and how to finally not hold back how you truly feel. These hands will teach you to speak freely without fear of condemnation and condescending judgements. They will teach you to love and touch everything that you find beautiful as you pull your hands through her hair or frolic through a patch of flowers and pull the petals to your face to smell their fragrance.
You see after me, you’ll learn not only how to love yourself, but love her. She will tell you that she’s never experienced a love quite like yours and you’ll never tell the secret that you learned it from me.

You see, I am the one before the one.

But like that scar you got from scraping your knee on the climb up your favorite mountain, you won’t forget me.
When pieces of her emanate me, I will be present in the breath you hold in just a second too long at the memory of me, the sharp feeling on your tongue as you bite down as my name starts to slip through your mouth, the butterflies in your stomach as you remember the way my eyes lit up at your presence. Her smooth edges that represent who she is will often remind you of my jagged edges, the ones that cut you but you still loved to climb. And for all those moments you’re reminded of me, you’ll touch your knee and realize you hadn’t climbed your favorite mountain to your favorite view in a while. You’ll wonder if instead of the common smooth edged rock you’d found on the ground, the one you could buy for five dollars at your local farmers market, you could’ve had a fine cut diamond with jagged edges.
And as you look into her eyes and see your reflection you’ll wonder if the pressure of my love could’ve made you a diamond as well.

—  I am the one before the one