songs about your ex

From the Dining Table

This was heavily inspired by this song. don’t listen to it unless you want to think about your ex and possibly cry. I definitely didn’t cry lol.

I don’t know why I can only write post-break up!Finn but it is what it is. but it’s still very different from anything I’ve ever wrote. let me know what you think.

Finn Balor x OC

Maybe one day you’ll call and tell me you’re sorry, too. 

Originally posted by thearchitectwwe

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The Phantom Thieves As Little Music Things:

Akira/Joker: Clapping. Saxophone beat drops. Vocals only songs. Beats that fade in. Smooth vocals in a love song. High/low harmonies. Acapella. Instrumentals that emphasize the words. Strong baselines that never falter. The sound of the singer taking little breaths in every couple seconds. Peaceful songs with just acoustics, clicking sounds, and harmonies. “Hey, hey!” Flirty songs. Frank sinatra vibes.

Ryuji/Skull: Beats that you want to tap your foot to. The “1,2,3,4..” counts at the beginning of a song. Starting a song with just drumming. Insane guitar riffs that leave you in awe. The click of two drumsticks colliding.  Stomping. Lyrics about rebellion. Lyrics about heartbreak.

Ann/Panther: Strong female lead. Little whispers. Empowering lyrics. A beat that makes you want to sway your hips and throw your head back. Songs that you’d listen to in the car with your friends on a summer day. Songs that sound almost tropical to a degree. (See: This song.) Flirty lyrics. Lyrics about getting over your ex.

Yusuke/Fox: Piano melodies. Males singing in falsetto. Acoustics. A beat that kicks in halfway through the song. The climax of a piece of music that makes you get goosebumps. Piano melodies mixed with dubstep. Songs that sound like movie themes. Male voices accompanied by an orchestra. Snapping. Violins.

Makoto/Queen: Hard beat drops. Beats that you can time fighting to. Taking deep breaths in before singing for long periods of time. Lyrics about being hopelessly in love - especially when you don’t want to. Using clock sounds in the instrumental.

Futaba/Oracle: A dancing beat. Upbeat tunes. Happy songs that are really sad. That little moment of anticipation before the beat drops. Echos of the lead singer’s voice in the background. Remixes of video game music that use sound effects from the game. Electronic sounds. Dubstep effects that warp the sound but still sound good.

Haru/Noir: Playing the fiddle. Warm vibes. Slow songs with dark meanings. The buildup to an extremely high note - and the note after. Harmonicas. Instrumentals that emphasize the words. Songs that sound like movie themes. Gentle love songs. Cute songs. (Like this song.) Old sounding songs.

Goro/Crow: Insane laughs. Screaming in songs. Voice that come from the chest. Lyrics that hit you like a train. Voices that break. Dark tones that everyone somehow likes. Baselines that sound like heartbeats. Lyrics that you can’t quite listen to because the beat and overall baseline is so overwhelming.

anonymous asked:

you're angry at your label. for the first time you make a public tweet bashing them. you want to fire back at them and hit them where it hurts. you are also louis tomlinson. do you leak a snippet of a song with lyrics about a) wishing you were back with your ex while hanging out with your current girlfriend, b) missing your girlfriend while alone in amsterdam on a secret trip, or c) missing your boyfriend while being publicly being spotted in a gay street even though you're closeted?


Hi guys! This is the sequel to Ice! Shawn and Jo are still separated in this, stay strong! Hope you like it!

Read the first part of break up make up here: Ice

The Miami sun was shining bright as Jo adjusted her bikini top, stretching on her sunbed. She rolled onto her belly, squinting her eyes, scrolling through Spotify until she could blast “Shout out to my ex” through her headphones.

Spending the summer at her dad’s place with her family was just what she needed although there has been no escape. He was everywhere. On the TV. On the radio. Everywhere.

Jo’s dad stepped outside, sitting next to his daughter on a free sunbed.

“Hola, mi hija linda!”

“Hey dad,” Jo replied, squinting at him.

“So, how are you?” he asked, his Spanish accent making Jo smile a little.

“Good, so far…”

“I am glad you broke up with that gringo boy… he was not good for you,” Carlos Perez stated matter-of-factly, adjusting his hat that would have looked ridiculous on any other person but on Carlos it looked just right and very cool.

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anonymous asked:

Hi. I just checked the audio vid you posted on your channel about Brendon's unreleased song exes on TV and I was wondering if you were able to hear the lyrics properly cuz I think this song is great I just couldn't decipher what I was hearing xo

ha i dont know, ive tried understanding the lyrics but i havent had much luck. I’ve thought about trying to clean up the audio but i just havent gotten around to attempting. Maybe someone will ask him some day


Delight | Conor Maynard | imagine
Word count: 924
A/N: It’s so short that I’m thinking to maybe try to post something more today, but I won’t guarantee it. Hope you’ll like this one, I thought it’s really sweet. Enjoy!
You can find more Buttercream Squad content here | Requests are open

In Greek mythology Euterpe was one of the Muses, the daughters of Mnemosyne, fathered by Zeus. Called the “Giver of delight”, when later poets assigned roles to each of the Muses, she was the muse of music. [-]

Conor was sit in front of the piano, his hands dancing on the keys. You smiled with the view, leaned in the door frame and watching your boyfriend.

It was Monday morning and although it was spring already, the sky was grey, the perfect lazy day. You got up, Conor wasn’t in bed anymore. You listened to the melody and knew he was playing piano downstairs, so you decided to go and make some tea before meet him.

“Good morning.” You said, sitting next to Conor.

“Hey babe.” he smiled to you, passing an arm around your waist and leaning his head in the curve of your neck.

Your hands touched the keys, you started playing.

“Four in the morning, staring at the ceiling, on my own like I was last weekend, you left and I guess you had your reasons, guess you had your reasons. yeah.”

Conor was going to leave again to Los Angeles the next day, he was staying there for a few months and, even if he would constantly visit you and his family, you two missed each other so much.

“I said things and I didn’t really mean them, kept going till I saw your heart bleeding, ruining the only thing I ever believed in, ever believed in, yeah”

Conor decided to join you and sang the next part. “And even though you’re gone, I’m gonna pretend there’s nothing wrong, I’m fucking every girl that comes along, anything is better than to face up to reality, oh”

You smiled to him and sang the chorus together “This is my version of heartbreak, this is how I get over you. I don’t wanna feel, I don’t wanna feel.” you never sang the “feel” part because you would ruin the song and Conor giggled a little when you didn’t say anything in this bit. You two continued.  “This is my version of heartbreak and it’s all I know how to do, I don’t wanna feel like there’s anymore. This is my version of a heartbreak.”

And you waited in silence to the next verse, but it never came because Conor decided he couldn’t wait to the song to end, starting a conversation as you had both of your hands playing his song.

“I don’t get it.” Conor said while he stopped playing.

“What, honey?” you asked, still pressing the keys, not giving up of finishing the music.

“Why you like this song so much.”

You gave him a sweet smile. “It’s a good song.”

“I know it is, I wrote it. You know, I only write smashing songs.” He joked and you laughed. “But seriously, it’s about my ex and it’s your favorite song from my stuff.”

You looked the emptiness in front of you, thinking in his question, “There’s a sadness in it I can relate to. You aren’t only singing, you’re putting your feels out there.” your hands were playing still, but it was in the automatic mode. “It’s so… pure. You don’t need a bursting beat or more than two instruments, it’s all about your voice, it’s all about the lyrics.” You sighed. “You don’t seem to give a fuck if you aren’t saying the right things, you’re just… feeling.” You looked at Conor again with a playful smile and winked at him. “Also, it’s one of the easiest songs to play and I don’t feel a complete failure when I try to play it.”

Conor was completely lost in what you were saying. Your E/C eyes staring nothing in particular, but still so bright; your messy hair falling over your shoulders and being a natural curtain; your skin looking so soft in the pale light of the day; your voice being so deep as if it was connected to your heart and not to your lungs; and your sweet smile, the soft sweet smile, that didn’t need any effort to show up and make his day better. And when you looked at him and winked, he thought you were the most charming person he would ever met.

“You’re bloody gorgeous, you know?” He asked.

You giggled. “Only because I am talking about your song, huh? That’s a way of getting things from you, Maynard.”

“I’m serious, Y/N.” he hugged you and you decided to give up, you weren’t finishing to sing the stupid music.

“I know you’re, honey.” You hugged him back. “Thank you.” You told before giving him a smack. “Also, sorry to wreck your beautiful song with my horrible voice.”

Conor loved you, but it was inevitable to say you weren’t meant to be a singer. “Any time, babe.” You smiled and he kissed your head.

He let you go and started playing the piano.

“What is it? I never heard this melody before.” You asked, you loved when he was working in knew stuff. “Is it a spoiler to the next album? Is it what you were working on in Los Angeles before come home? Oh my God, can I record it and sell to whom pays better in media?”

Conor laughed with your last question and then smiled, looking to you. “I don’t know if it’s going to be in my next album, I wasn’t working on it until now.” He told, his look turned to the piano. “And you can record it and sell it, if you want to,” He stared you again “but it would be a waist. Don’t you want to keep a secret and enjoy the moment a little before getting everyone to know this is your song?”

Shakira: Interview from Camp Nou

I: What do you considering when making a song?

S: I have to feel it, connect with it…My songs are my vehicle to express myself, they’re like therapy to me. I’ve realized that writing is how I really start to heal when i’m feeling down.

I: You have all these songs that are hits now and collaborations with many artists that are dying to work with you… do you ever look back and think about your 13 year old self in Barranquilla with a guitar in hand looking for an opportunity?

S: I do! I started very young, I was actually 10 when I started performing and knew right away that I wanted to be a singer. And that facilitated certain things for me because it gave me a goal in life to reach, but at the same time, it also made things a bit more difficult in my childhood because surely I missed out on certain things because I was very serious about my career from very early on.

I: You have a very successful career with a family to take care of… how do you manage to do it all?

S: Well by 12 I’m like a used napkin, useless and worn out! But the good thing about being a mother is that it helps organize many aspects of your life. My kids keep me going and are the ones that structure my days. I’m not the same person I was when I was around 26 where I lived for myself only and was the center of my own universe. Now my kids are my absolute priority and I run based on their needs and wants. When I’m in the studio I have to prioritize my time and only have about 4 hours a day to be inside the studio before I have to cater to my kids. But I think it’s a gift that us women have, being able to do many things at once. Men could never, they could only do 1 thing at a time (laughs).

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When Taylor Mac played Suzanne Vega’s Blood Makes Noise in the 24 Decades show, I had very unpleasant flashbacks to my terrible abusive ex, specifically because this song relates to a deep dark secret of hers that ended up being my deep dark secret too by association. It’s not really something I can talk about openly because it’d lead to a lot of trouble, but the weight of the secret was draining me for years. 

I’d since talked to a couple of people (a therapist and another ex of hers) about this secret and they’ve been supportive of me, but it was still wearing me down. I was petrified that this secret will come out somehow because my ex will fuck up and then I’ll be liable for supposedly enabling her or implicitly supporting her by not kicking her to the curb the moment I knew about this secret.

Then Taylor Mac happens, and this song happens. And I remember this secret. And I try to bear it through the performance, and it is a very good performance, but the secret made itself noticeable again. I really really wanted to tell someone, someone I trusted, someone I loved, but I didn’t know who or how.

Today I debriefed about Taylor Mac with one of my best friends, who managed to catch the last chapter - the chapter this song featured in. I’d told him about another song in that chapter that this ex nearly ruined for me (nothing to do with This Secret, just her being a passive-aggressive asshole), and then I mentioned this song…and then I debated telling him what the deal was.

I had spent ages rehearsing this conversation in my mind, even before I knew who Taylor Mac was, let alone before I got caught up in that orbit. I feared that my connection to this secret would leave me tainted, that this friend would drop me like I should have dropped her years ago. On the one hand, I felt like it was something he should probably know about me, if nothing else then to have a clear conscience. On the other hand, it’s not exactly a secret about me. But I still felt liable.

And now the window of opportunity for this conversation had arrived. A rather different circumstance than I had expected, but an opportunity. Or maybe the beginning of my doom.

I took a breath. I braced myself. I held on to his arms.

I told him about the song, and its connection to This Dark Secret, and The Dark Secret itself.

To my surprise, he didn’t excommunicate me. He didn’t blame me. He didn’t tar me with the same brush I tarred myself with. He, like the therapist and the fellow ex, reiterated that this secret was her problem, not mine. I wasn’t responsible for her behaviour. If she fucked up that was all on her. I don’t have to keep carrying this secret for her just because she would want to deflect all responsibility onto me, like it was actually me that was problematic and she was Just Fine.

(This isn’t the secret, but it’s a pattern: she did this with drinking. I confronted her about her alcoholism by sharing my vulnerabilities and concerns about personally developing an alcohol problem due to family history. We promised to take care of each other and went sober for some time in solidarity. Then when she started drinking again and I did the check-ins that she asked me to do, she started accusing me of projecting “my” alcoholism onto her. This wasn’t the only time she used my vulnerabilities against me; this was why I felt like her secret was now also my responsibility, because I’m sure she’d use my vulnerabilities in this scenario against me too.)

This dear, lovely, true friend reaffirmed, over and over, that there was nothing wrong with me. That I wasn’t her keeper. That I didn’t have to bear this burden. It’s her secret, and thus her problem.

I shook, and tried to sob, though couldn’t really cry. He fed me tea and buttered olive bread. At that moment I knew what true love looked like: not my ex, who used it as a weapon to keep me trapped in Secret Hell even years after I had anything to do with her, but my friend, who took my secret so calmly and took care of me.

I left for a rehearsal, then on the way home tried to track down this song. I couldn’t find recordings of the Taylor Mac version - a relatively pared-down version with just Taylor on vocals and Viva on guitar, haunting and powerful. I had forgotten how cacophonous the original was. It was still good, though very different than the version I heard on Friday night that brought back deep pain that just got released today.

I got home and started looking for remixes and covers. Other versions as pared down as the Taylor Mac version. There are very few versions of this song, not even a mashup. Most have the same level of background business. There is a live version that is a little more pared down - that’s the closest I can get to the Taylor Mac version.

That I could listen to this song over and over and over, willingly even, was proof that I had been set free from that secret’s prison. And all thanks to a friend with a sympathetic non-judgemental ear.

anonymous asked:

Obviously Harry was joking when he said that From the Dining Table was about discussion during a meal. Just like how he was joking when he told the Sunday Times the playing with myself line was actually him playing with his thoughts. Sarcasm, people, sarcasm.

Ohhh did he actually give this wry answers about things and Larries are taking it literally?

They think he’s literally saying the song is about a dining room conversation? Wanking about your ex alone in a hotel room is a dining room convo Larries are having? The song is ONE specific narrative of him getting over an ex girlfriend and dating other people who look like her and getting jealous about her with guys (a consistent theme throughout his album it seems) and that’s literally the entire song. This isn’t some Billy Joel Piano Man song about people at a bar, it’s one single narrative going here.

I can’t believe they’re really all telling themselves it’s a song about people having conversations over dinner just ‘cause they can’t understand a joke and are desperate to make the evil “het” songs about women about anything else.

anonymous asked:

Let's be clear: Harry is not a feminist. If you're against racism, it won't occur to you to write a song using racist stereotypes and cliches in your music. If you're against islamophobia, it won't occur to you to write a song using islamophobic stereotypes and cliches in your music. You won't make islamophobic jokes about your Muslim ex. Harry listened to songs like Kiwi and Only Angel on repeat. He said he chose songs carefully. He made the joke about Kendall. About Sarah. He's not a feminist.



Every CEGF song ever
I’m a Good Person

“I’m a good person all over the place.
I cum my good right into your face.
Everybody says I’m one good ass chick
And if you don’t think so you can lick
My balls. Which, again, are filled with good.”

anonymous asked:

Is that song about your ex? Did you end on bad terms then? Sorry if that's too personal!

Yeah, I don’t have hard feelings towards her at all though. I don’t think she’s a bad person. Music is just an outlet for me to channel negative/my most raw emotions. The last time we talked was on the phone while I was in a hospital bed and I was super fucked up on drugs, and that’s hard for me to feel okay about. Not exactly a good resolve.

‘Studio’ Sesh

okay so i got two similar requests so im just gonna blend it together okay? okay

here are the requests:

Can you do one where you agree to do a duet with Niall and Justin gets all jealous because you won’t do one with him and you say something like “maybe I didn’t want to sing some stupid love song with you when you probably wrote it for someone else”


OK an imagine where you famous af and in the recording studio with him?? yes? no? 💓 ily btw

btw probs first & last time ill right about 1d on this account so yaa




Originally posted by thegrammys

“I told her that I loved her, was not sure if she heard..” Niall sung beautifully into the mic, and I smiled at him.

“The roof was pretty windy so I didn’t say a word” I sing next, both of us looking at each other and smiling.

“All I know at the end of the day is you want what you want and you say what you say and you follow your heart when you know itll break some tiiiimes.” We sing, before I burst out laughing .

“Okay lets take 5” Niall says and chuckles along .

“ Im sorry, the end always gets to me” I giggle, as we both take our headphones off and walk into the studio room, and I stop short when I see Justin sitting on one of the couches . Shit.

“Oh, hey Justin” I say, walking over to him and pressing a quick kiss to his lips, one he doesn’t return.

“Hey.. you guys sound good out there” Justin says, but I could hear the hurt in his voice and I feel bad immediately .

“Thanks mate, Y/N is very talented over here, now I see why everybody is trying to sign her” Niall compliments and I smile at him .

“Yeah, shes something. Hey Niall can you give us a second to talk?” Justin says, and Niall nods before walking out .

I sit down, already knowing how this conversation was gonna go down, so I mentally prepared myself.

“Soo, you and Niall huh?” Justin says, and I nod.

“He asked me to duet with him.” I defend.

“I recall asking you too, but you rejected me, multiple times.” Justin retorts, his jaw clenching .

“Its not the same Justin” I sigh.

“Whats not the same? You can sing with him but not me? Your boyfriend?” Justin snaps, and I groan.

“I just cant okay?” I say, standing up.

“Why not? You know how important that song is to me and now im singing it with Ariana because you didn’t want to! But here you are singing with Niall.”

“I didn’t want to sing your song!” I say, feeling myself get caught up.

Why Y/N, I wrote this song. Its really special to me. Why wouldn’t you want to-“

“Because why would I want to sing a love song with you when you probably wrote it for someone else!” I shout, before stopping short.

Justins face blanks, and I bite my lip, shaking my head.

“Y/N, w-what are you-“ Justin starts but I cut him off.

“I read the lyrics Justin, that song is clearly not about me” I say, voice thick with unshed tears.

Justin doesn’t reply, only confirming by words, and honestly it hurt.

“Why on earth would you think id sing that song with you? Our very first song, and you want it to be about your ex? How mad is that?” I say, shaking my head.

“Its not about anybody! Its just about facing hardships and overcoming” He defends, and I laugh through my tears.

“Over coming what? Her dumping you? You dumping her? That endless, unhealthy cycle you guys had for years on end?” I spit, before walking out, only to be faced with Niall.

“Raincheck?” I sniffle, wiping my eyes, and he nods sympathetically, and I storm past him, ignoring Justins crys behind me .

Before I leave the building I stop, turning around.

“Paparazzi is waiting for me out there and I really don’t want this on the headlines so please, just stop” I plead, putting my glasses on to hide my distraught face.

Justin fights a battle in his head before cursing .

“This conversation isn’t over” He promises, before turning and walking away.



Literally you guys got over 100 notes withing an hour . ILYSM HERES PART 2

SJWs who hate Taylor Swift: Men are TRASH

*Taylor Swift writes songs about fuckboys and inconsiderate guys who treated her poorly*

Same SJWs:  WOW look at this racist YT girl playing the victim and writing songs about her exes and attacking them publicly. Grow up sis. Your white victimhood act is getting stale. Also we support Kanye even though he wrote a creepy song, violated your sexuality by making a realistic naked wax figure of your body without your consent, and referred to you using a misogynistic slur, and we’ll use misogynistic tropes to criticize your music. Oh and you’re a shit feminist btw

ASOIAF Great House Words, from Best to Worst

I will not back down from this.

1. “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” (House Martell of Dorne)

Strong, elegant, and dynamic, the Martell words work in a variety of contexts. Need something to cheer at a sporting event? Stuck on ideas for a tattoo? Want to belt out a disco song about how your no-good ex tried to bring you down but failed embarrassingly? The Martells have you covered. These words also feature a number of sexy literary devices, such as assonance, alliteration, and parallelism.

2. “Ours Is the Fury” (House Baratheon of the Stormlands and Crownlands)

While they don’t possess the stirring rhythm of #1, the Baratheon words nevertheless have a King James Bible-style cadence that lends them a certain gravitas. They’re concise without sacrificing poetry and threatening without resorting to crassness. (I’m looking at you, House Bolton.) The Baratheons have yet to produce a monarch who’s the total package, but their words are a class act.

3. “Winter Is Coming” (House Stark of the North)

These words are terrific during the summer. Even when the barley is high and everybody south of Riverrun is prancing about in the nude, you’re not going to forget to salt a decade’s worth of meat for the coming winter. You’re a Stark, damn it, and you’re (theoretically) prepared for the worst. Your motto may be a little obvious in the fall and unnecessarily depressing in the spring, but it still works. You know when it’ll get old, though? When you’ve got a forty-foot snowdrift outside your castle and the Others are breathing down your neck. All you can say then is, “Hey, remember when I told you winter was coming? I was right!” Nobody likes a know-it-all.

4. “Fire and Blood” (House Targaryen of…it’s complicated)

It’s appropriate and cool-sounding, but I suspect that very little brainstorming was involved in the creation of this motto. I bet somebody asked Aegon the Conqueror to come up with some words at the very last minute. “Um,” he said, right before glancing at his dragon. Then he remembered that he could kill people other ways, like stabbing. BOOM. PROBLEM SOLVED. MORE TIME FOR BROTHER/SISTER INCEST. Like, you people have pet dragons and violet eyes. You could’ve come up with something more creative.

5. “Family, Duty, Honor” (House Tully of the Riverlands)

These are perfectly serviceable house words. They’re true, they’re to the point, and they’ve got a decent flow to them. On the other hand, they’re the equivalent of buying a picture frame and not replacing the sample photograph inside of it. You can imagine a Blackwood or whoever walking a Tully through the process of selecting house words in the days of yore. “So, one thing you can do is choose something that’s important to you,” Blackwood says, having kept a straight face while Tully picked a trout for his sigil. “Family, duty, honor…” BOOM! More time for… living by a river and being chill, I guess. Then again, maybe the words are a sick burn to the many houses that delight in kinslaying, turncloaking, and violating guest right.

6. “We Do Not Sow” (House Greyjoy of the Iron Islands)

What DO you do, House Greyjoy? You don’t like nice things, you don’t appreciate education, and you don’t have the decency to get a cake when your only son comes back safely from a decade-long stint as a hostage. I’m sick of your negativity and appalled by your lack of subterfuge re: piracy. I do appreciate your brevity and honesty, though. “We’re Going to Steal You Stuff Because Our Soil Sucks Ass” admittedly would have been a little wordy.

7. “Hear Me Roar” (House Lannister of the Westerlands)

The world is not a Helen Reddy song, Lannisters! It’s not even a Katy Perry song! Are you still an embryo with a long, long way to go? Did you stand for nothing, so you fell for everything? I expect this cribbing shit from the Greyjoys, but not from you. I’m not even sure “Hear Me Roar” is supposed to be a threat; it could just be about self-expression or peaceful protest or a simple love of making lion noises. No wonder you’re always going on about paying your debts instead; that actually sounds like you might do something.

8. “Growing Strong” (House Tyrell of the Reach)

This is a great motto…if you’re a company that sells boxed raisins or canned pineapple. It could also be an okay title for a 1967 mid-tempo R&B duet about a man and a woman who inspire positive change in each other with their love. For the scheming family that rules over one of the richest regions in the realm, though, it’s weak. But maybe that’s just what you want people to think, you sneaky cusses. “Because Fuck the Hightowers, That’s Why” probably would’ve been overly combative, too.

9. “As High as Honor” (House Arryn of the Vale)

What a mess. First, it leaves you wide open for incoherent weed jokes. Second, who goes around talking about how “high” honor is? Nobody in Westeros and nobody in the real world, that’s who. There’s an association between the word “high” and morality (i.e., “high-minded” or “high ideals”), but the connotations are vaguely negative and it’s still too big a leap from morals in general to honor specifically. Third, these words barely even manage to imply that you’re honorable. You just…live in the mountains…which are high…and high things are honorable. In conclusion, Ray Charles is God.

Notes on Some Other House Words

“Our Blades Are Sharp” (House Bolton of the North): Slightly less tacky than Ramsay Bolton’s taste in clothing. Slightly less gross than Roose Bolton’s TMI session with Theon on the way to Barrowton. Apparently a flayed man has no class, either.

“[Unknown]” (House Frey of the Riverlands): Ooh, I have a few suggestions! “We’ll Burn That Bridge When We Come to It.” “Come for the Nauseous Food, Stay Because You Got Murdered.” “Don’t Blame Us, Robb Stark Was a Werewolf.” “From an Ancient Man’s Scrotum.” Just kidding, some of you are cool.

“Beware Our Sting” (House Beesbury of the Reach): Wow, a house motto that contains fun animal-based wordplay and manages to be vaguely threatening! Take note, Lannisters.

“Though All Men Do Despise Us” (House Codd of the Iron Islands): Are good public relations considered effeminate in the Iron Islands’ toxic-even-for-Westeros standards of masculinity? Why am I asking, of course they are.

“Tread Lightly Here” (House Footly of the Reach): Okay, that’s just plain delightful.

“A Taste of Glory” (House Fossoway of Cider Hall of the Reach): This sounds like an advertisement for a fancy vineyard that hosts wine tastings. Not particularly intimidating, but definitely less limp than the Tyrells’ words.

“The Choice Is Yours” (House Lonmouth of the Stormlands): Wait, what choice is mine? I’m looking at your banner, and it’s all skulls and kisses. What the hell are you proposing? Jesus.

“Above the Rest” (House Mallister of the Riverlands): Okay, you know what? Rude.

“Brave and Beautiful” (House Piper of the Riverlands): Best said of oneself while tossing one’s hair. Not a bad way to sell shampoo.