I knew you so well. I knew how your lips would curl into a smile, how your eyes light up every time your favorite song comes on, or even the way your heart beats. I knew every little bits and pieces of you. But now I know you much more. Because now I know the way you make a heart break.
Before you could answer his text, your phone lighted up and flashed that Min Suga was calling you. He was always the impatient kind; the type to call instead of waiting for a text reply.
“Hi…” he barely breathed into the receiver, but there was no doubt that the voice on the other line was Min Yoongi. “…so, are you free?”
“I can be in your studio in 20 minutes, but again, why me?” Somehow, talking to him like this made your legs want to stand up and walk around your small dorm room.
“Why not you? You were the one who heard it first and said that it lacked desperation and sadness…” He paused and you could almost imagine him pursing his lips in thought. “I think I know those feelings now. I made the song the way you described it, a song that would break your heart and still, you’d listen.”
“If you know that it already gives off that feeling, why do I need to listen?” you didn’t mean to sound so frustrated, but the pent up feelings just needed to burst out.
“Because I wrote it while thinking about you.” As if he regretted admitting it, he immediately followed with, “…and you said it yourself, you’d listen… even if it breaks your heart.”
You remained silent, chewing on your lip as you looked at the photo of you, Yoongi and Jimin sitting on your cluttered desk. Jimin was in the middle, clad in his dance recital attire, while he had an arm over each of you with Yoongi clearly looking like he had been pulled into the photo while you were looking at the grinning younger boy.
Your heart felt like it had been shot, hearing such a word being whispered by Yoongi’s low register, “It’s the only excuse I have left to see you.”
Finally, you nodded, even when he couldn’t see you and answered, “Okay, I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”
You found the road towards Yoongi’s shared studio much easier than you thought and even your steps were much lighter than you thought they would be. With your scarf (or Jimin’s?) scarf tucked securely around your neck, you pressed the buzzer.
Yoongi opened the door, with his hair disheveled and back to his original black, greeted your with a controlled your smile. “Y/N, long time no see.”
Trying to smile, you stepped inside the studio and unraveled your scarf. “Y-Yeah, it feels like ages have passed since I’ve been here. Not much has changed, huh?”
“Except you and I…” he muttered and caught your startled gaze. “A-Anyway, take a seat.”
He led you to the chair that he usually occupied, the high-backed computer chair was once a familiar sight to you when you spent your days listening to Yoongi’s music with Jimin either playing games beside you or napping on your lap. As you took the seat, you were reminded of simpler times… those short, sweet, golden days when you weren’t in love with Yoongi and Jimin was just your bestfriend.
Yoongi handed you the headphones quietly and you closed your eyes just as the song began. Slowly, your heart constricted in your chest as you the song progressed. Compared to what you listened to months ago, this song felt completely different, as if it was a different song entirely and each word spoke to you on a deeper level.
Just when the last beat dropped, a tear fell off the corner of your eye.
Removing the headphones from your ears, you slowly raised your eyes to meet his. “Wow… what can I say, Yoongi? It’s beautiful.”
“Wh-Who sang the demo? His voice is beautiful…” you commented, breaking eye contact and the long silence that followed, wiping your tears away with your sleeve.
“A freshman named Jeon Jungkook. He owed me a few things, so I made him sing.” Yoongi answered from the seat in front of you.
“And you wrote everything?”
“Every note, every word.” he exhaled, looking past your eyes and straight to your soul. “I meant all of it too, Y/N. Even when you’re in front of me like this, I miss you. You’ve been avoiding me and I don’t know how else I can reach you.”
Yoongi gingerly took one of your hands in his. “I’m not good with words… but that’s nothing new, so I wrote a song instead. I hope it reached you, Y/N.”
You contemplated for long while and Yoongi knew that you needed the silence more than he did. Thinking back to that day when you stood in the hallway on the phone with Namjoon, unintentionally remembering the whole conversation and the way the late afternoon light created colors in his hair, and how that moment felt like the answer to the question looming over your head, but now, you weren’t so sure.
“봄날. That should be the title.” you squeezed Yoongi’s hand and added, “It reached me well, Yoongi.”
Yoongi brushed his thumb over your knuckles, “So what happens now?”
“I don’t know.” You sighed, answering his question by another, “Someone once told me that you can choose who you can fall in love with. Do you believe that?”
“No.” he paused. “Well, actually… I don’t know.”
“Why? Why not?” you pressed, trying to meet his eyes which were looking at your hands.
“I’ve never loved anyone but you.” his gaze was sincere and warm in contrast to his cold touch. “Y/N, you’re my best friend and it took me a while to realize, but I know it now. I made you wait for such a long time, but we’re here now and you don’t have to do anything, I will come for you this time.”
Dachi’s words suddenly manifested itself in your head.
‘He just doesn’t know how to love anyone including himself.’
You inhaled with closed eyes, his words brought back the answer that you lost, “Jimin… He… He once said that we all do unfair and selfish things for love. Do you also believe that?”
Summary: It’s the number one rule: you should never fall in love with your best friend or worse, Min Yoongi. With love in the equation, it becomes much difficult to find the right answer. Is it really true that you can’t choose who you fall in love with?
a/n: If there’s 2 things that you need to know about this chapter, it’s that I didn’t intend for it to end like this and this was a DEAD GIVEAWAY about the ending. :) hit me with your best theories! I suggest listening to spring day while reading this!!! (I know I did.)
MUSIC ASKS these are actually pretty fucking hard but why not.
1:A song you like with a color in the title
2:A song you like with a number in the title
3:A song that reminds you of summertime
4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about
5:A song that needs to be played LOUD
6:A song that makes you want to dance
7:A song to drive to
8:A song about drugs or alcohol
9:A song that makes you happy
10:A song that makes you sad
11:A song that you never get tired of
12:A song from your preteen years
13:One of your favorite 80’s songs
14:A song that you would love played at your wedding
15:A song that is a cover by another artist
16:One of your favorite classical songs
17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke
18:A song from the year that you were born
19:A song that makes you think about life
20:A song that has many meanings to you
21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title
22:A song that moves you forward
23:A song that you think everybody should listen to
24:A song by a band you wish were still together
25:A song by an artist no longer living
26:A song that makes you want to fall in love
27:A song that breaks your heart
28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love
29:A song that you remember from your childhood
30:A song that reminds you of yourself
What if I said I would break your heart?
What if I said I have problems that made me, mean?
What if I knew I would just rip your mind apart
Would you let me out?
Maybe you can stop before you start
Maybe you can see that I just may be too crazy to love
If I told you solitude fits me like a glove
Would you let me out?