song of the devil

some of my favorite silly plotlines from Scottish ballads
  • Small village thinks illicit whiskey stills are its biggest problem until raiders show up and trash their everything. Death, destruction, etc. Raiders find whiskey still, get lit, pass out. Villagers murder them. Peace restored. Whiskey is king.
  • Shepherd lad spots fair maid skinny-dipping. Fair maid pleads for her virtue and/or clothing. Shepherd lad is complete gentleman, escorts her home with clothing and virtue intact. Fair maid demands to know what she has to do to get laid around here.
  • Plucky heroine’s boyfriend goes to sea, fails to return. Plucky heroine dresses in drag and goes to find him. Plucky heroine discovers boyfriend happily married to someone else. Plucky heroine shoots his head right off.
  • Do Not Stop By The Local Weaver’s House, You Will Get So Pregnant, Like, Super Pregnant, I’m Not Kidding, This Has Been A Public Service Announcement.
  • Wealthy farmwife habitually searches her maidservants’ dorm for SIGNS OF MEN out of concern for their virtue. Maids less concerned for their virtue are having None Of It. Maids hide scarecrow in dorm, farm mistakes scarecrow for prowler, farmwife decapitates scarecrow. Farmwife believes herself a murderer. Maids now permitted to do as they please, virtue-wise. 
  • Idiot son sent to market to sell cow. Scheming lass seduces idiot son out of cow, pants, and even shoes.
  • Dad returns from business trip to find daughter Super Pregnant, demands to meet the man responsible. Dad takes one look at man responsible and tells daughter “okay, you’re off the hook, I would have banged him too.”
  • Handsome stranger bribes fair maid to leave town with him. Fair maid rejects various bribes until handsome stranger flat-out offers her money, which she accepts. Handsome stranger turns out to be, to no one’s great surprise, the actual devil. Fair maid regrets her life choices.
  • Gallant knight goes forth to slay dragon. Dragon eats knight, but has indigestion.

ETA: If anyone has been reblogging this and wants to know what the songs are, here is the list! Or if you’re too lazy to click things, The Devil Uisge Beatha + Shepherd Lad + Billy Taylor + Tae The Weaver’s Gin Ye Go + The Straw Man + Cow Song + Willie Winsbury + The Devil’s Courtship + Sir Eglamore

Southern Gothic music is my aesthetic

You know what I’m talking about. 

Those dark songs that aren’t quite blues, aren’t quite gospel, aren’t quite folk, aren’t quite rock, aren’t quite a funeral dirge, they’re just something else

The ones that have a lived-in feel and a thudding rhythm like a funeral dirge

You know, the ones that are like

  • Someone’s drowning. There’s probably a river.
  • The Devil.
  • I and/or my significant other are criminals and outlaws who have done terrible things but we still deep down secretly believe in the Lord and know that one day we’ll pay the price for our sins (see also: The Devil)
  • Murder
  • Blood, so much blood everywhere
  • And also bones
  • Dirt
  • Jesus is real but I’m real far gone from him now
  • Something about a grave
  • Did I mention the Devil?
  • Aries: Like fierce dragon wings.
  • Taurus: Wings made of twigs and leaves, they are functional, natural, aesthetic.
  • Gemini: Colorful butterfly wings like their varied personality or airy fairy wings.
  • Cancer: Silver and white feathered-wings that glitter in the moonlight.
  • Leo: Wings of gold.
  • Virgo: White, brown, and grey feathered-wings like a song bird or maybe even insect-type wings for efficiency.
  • Libra: Angel and devil wings. Maybe they switch with their mood. Or whimsical fairy wings.
  • Scorpio: Dark scaled wings much like a dragon or flaming wings of a Phoenix. Or maybe wings made from ink!
  • Sagittarius: Blue or purple flaming wings or wings made out of metal so they can soar and reach great heights.
  • Capricorn: Bat wings or raven-feathered wings, this is serious business.
  • Aquarius: Dragonfly wings, wings made from peacock feathers, or rainbow wings made from an alien material.
  • Pisces: Have you ever seen wings made out of water? Wings made from glitter and white feathers. Wings made from magic paper.