Jessalyn, you are perfect. <3

REVIEW: It’s Worth Taking a Trip to Somewhere Slow

by Andrew Johnson

As a critic, I often find myself dismayed at how many movies don’t seem to grasp the fundamentals of storytelling: characters, story and theme. They’ll flit from scene to scene with little connective tissue, relying on spectacle or wit to hide their conceptual emptiness, soulless enterprises that reduce people to archetypes and life to a series of obstacles to overcome.

Somewhere Slow, which opens in select markets today, is not one of those films. Helmed by writer/director Jeremy O’Keefe, the movie was a hit on the festival circuit—it won Best Narrative Film at the Brooklyn Film Festival last summer—and for good reason. It’s a great example of how intimate, character-driven storytelling can be more compelling than narrative gimmicky and impressive set pieces.

Grade: B

Click here to read the rest of Andrew’s positive review of this small festival darling.

fetronic  asked:

Why must our favorite Russian be left in the dirt!?! I DEMAND THAT HE GET A SPEED BUFF!

What?  Speed buff?  That’s just crazy talk.  He’s already got one in a way.

Here, just wear these, have only your fists to defend yourself from the gun-toting enemies, do less damage, have a slower weapon swapping speed, and be marked for death as you go gallivanting across the battlefield.  It’s the perfect solution!

And if you’re running with boxing gloves in the middle of a gun fight?  Good fun and have luck.