somewhere we can be happy

we are all carrying the bodies of our younger selves, arms full of her crying, of her begging us to take back that night and shove it into a better place. of the memories of her leaving where we screamed our throat raw. the child we were is sobbing and we are always carrying her uphill. things are getting cold. our feet are slipping in the frost and we’re so tired. so so tired. and she’s hungry. she is constantly whispering about the small things that hurt us. 

i just want to get her somewhere warm. where she can learn we are happy, where her whispers can be shouts but i don’t slide backwards. blizzards show up from nowhere and she and i freeze in the nothing. i forget to keep walking. i want to be somewhere flat, where i can see storms coming.

but i am always always climbing.

2

So much time on the other side, waiting for you to wake up

6

Happy Birthday to Helen McCrory (born August 17, 1968) 

Home

Lucy, Natsu, and Happy had just left all the guild members that had returned after receiving Lucy’s letter. So many had come home. Lucy cried in Mira’s arms, happy to have her home back.

They had all agreed to come back the next day to start rebuilding the guild hall, and discuss the master position. No one brought up master Makarov.

Now they were making their way.. somewhere.

“Hey Lucy! We can stay at your place right?” Happy flew next to Lucy and asked.

“Well, no. I haven’t lived here in a long time, I don’t have my apartment anymore,” Lucy looked down at her feet. She didn’t like to think of what became of her apartment, so many good memories were there.

“Oh yeah, you were living in Crocus when we found you,” Happy mumbled out sadly. Natsu was ahead of them, staying quiet.

“Yeah,” Lucy turned her head to look at the river, she had spent almost every day walking right on the edge, the fisherman telling her that one day she was going to fall in. She wondered if they remembered her.

Before Lucy could mention staying at an Inn, Natsu spun around and stared right at her.

“Then that just means you have to come stay with us!” He put his hands on his hips and grinned widely at her.

“Aye!” Happy cheered up quickly.

“At your place? But it’s been empty for over a year, it’s probably filthy.”

“If the three of us work together we can have it clean in no time,” Natsu knew that one good roar, without fire, would have all the dust out in seconds.

“I don’t know, are you sure?” Lucy stood right in front of Natsu, asking shyly.

“Sure! We’ve stayed at your place too many times to count anyway, you need to stay with us some too!”

“Aye!” Happy landed onto Lucy’s shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile.

Lucy finally smiled, “Then let’s go!”

“Alright!” Natsu fist bumped the air and twisted back around to lead them back to his home.

“Oh yeah, Lucy! I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Happy started to fly in front of Lucy so he could see her face, “What exactly did you do after we left? You said Master disbanded the guild the day after we left. Did you stay for a while?”

Natsu bowed his head, he knew that he needed to have a talk to Lucy about his departure, privately. He didn’t know why, but he knew he had to apologize. He left a letter for her, and only her, but apparently that wasn’t enough. And every time she brings it up he’s felt guiltier and guiltier.

“Oh, um,” Lucy avoided eye contact with the exceed, “I stayed for a little while, everyone else took off fairly quickly, but I stayed for about a month or two, and that’s when Jason found me and offered me a modeling job.”

“OH! We saw those!”

Lucy had to let that sink in before glaring at the blue cat, “You what?”

“Aye! We rain into Gildarts few months after we left! And we went separate ways his bag and Natsu’s got mixed up! His bag was full of dirty magazines, and you were in one of them!”

Lucy dropped her suitcase, “Gildarts had them?!”

“Aye! But don’t worry Lucy!” Happy patted the girls head, “Natsu took that one from Gildarts before we left! He still has it too!”

A choking sound came from the dragon slayer, “HAPPY!”

Happy started to dig in Natsu’s bag, “Here it is!” and before Natsu could grab it, the feline showed it to Lucy, “See! It’s even turned to the page you’re on!”

Lucy twitched for a few seconds, comprehending just what that meant. She glared at the man behind the offensive magazine, who was sputtering.

“GIVE IT HERE!” before she took it though, Natsu had taken it and held it to his chest.

“No way!”

“Natsu! ”

“It’s mine!”

“So what?! I don’t want you to have it!”

“Better me than Gildarts!”

“Yeah well.. GIVE IT TO ME!”

“Don’t be mad Lucy,” the cat interrupted their fight, “Natsu looks at it all the time! I’ve woken up sometimes and he’ll be staring at it, sometimes even touching-”

“SHUT UP HAPPY!” Natsu growled at his companion.

“Natsu, give me the magazine!” Lucy reached for it, making Natsu back up.

“No!”

“Why do you want to keep it?!”

“Cause it’s mine!” He couldn’t tell her that he kept it so he could always see her.

The blush on Lucy’s face was going to be permanent after this, “Natsu!”

Natsu backed up and eventually turned around to run, but Lucy grabbed his shoulder. They were arguing more, nose to nose this time, when a certain feline said his famous line, that hadn’t been heard in a very long time.

“They’re totally in looovvvveee.”

The both turned red and shouted, “SHUT UP HAPPY!”

Happy didn’t say anything, unaffected by their shouting. They turned back to the other, both seeing their faces beat red, and just stared. Lucy stared because it was rare to see Natsu embarrassed with a blush on his face, it was cute. Natsu stared because Lucy always looked prettiest when she blushed.

While he was distracted, Lucy took a chance at getting the magazine from Natsu, but he was too quick for her. He jerked it away from her hand, and then he took off running.

“NATSU!”

“It’s mine!”

Happy watched them go with a mischievous grin on his little face, “They’re in love, they’re totally in denial.”

Natsu ran, laughing the whole way at Lucy’s insults. He made it to his house before she could catch up to him, but before he could shut the door in her face she rammed into him, sending both of them tumbling onto the dusty floor.

Lucy landed onto of Natsu’s hard chest. Her face was in the crook of his neck, she got a good look at the scar there and wondered just where he got it. Natsu put his hands on Lucy’s waist and gently pushed a bit. She wasn’t heavy at all, he just liked to tease her about it.

Lucy held herself up on her elbows, looking down at Natsu’s flushed face. She felt her cheeks heat up, and it wasn’t due to his body heat.

“Lucy,” Natsu reached one hand up to rub her cheeks, which were still stained with dry tears. He wanted to do something to ease her pain, anything at all. He hated that there were times he could see mistrust in her eyes. He put it there, it was his fault. He had to do something to make sure that she would always be by his side. He needed her to know that he wasn’t going to leave ever again.

“Ooh la la,” came a sing song voice from the door.

Lucy jumped and rolled off of Natsu to see Happy giggling in the doorway.

Natsu huffed, leave it to Happy to ruin what could be a touching moment. He sat up and watched as Lucy yanked on Happy’s face for always making fun of her. He had a feeling that Lucy was waiting for him to say something. He didn’t know where to begin, or what to say. He didn’t know what she wanted to hear.

“Lucccyyyy, owwwiieee,” Happy cried as Lucy continued to stretch out his face.

“Then quit making assumptions about people!”

Natsu grinned, deciding he should help out his little buddy. He could worry about that stuff later, he had more important things to worry about than the past. Like making happy memories with the people who meant the most to him, and they were right here. His home was right here.

He pulled Happy out of Lucy’s grip and held him under his arm. He brought his other arm around Lucy’s shoulder and brought her in closer, and on an act of pure nerve, he kissed Lucy’s forehead.

“C'mon, we gotta house to clean!” He walked away before she could question him.

Lucy blushed deeply as she watched him. He and Happy began to look over what was left of their home, pointing out things they needed to do first.

Lucy brought her hands to her chest, she was warm inside. When they first reunited, she wanted Natsu to apologize for leaving and not saying goodbye. But in a way, he did. He wouldn’t be Natsu if he made a long speech about leaving. He had a happy-go-lucky personality. He had his reasons, and she could wait to hear them. But she didn’t need an apology anymore. He brought back her home. He brought back Fairy Tail.

Lucy giggled when Happy started coughing due to all the dust. Fairy Tail is the place she has come to call home. But if it wasn’t for Natsu and Happy, she wouldn’t have had it in the first place. So in a way, they are her home. And she has them back.

4

So taking into account Duff’s personal vs. professional lives separation talk…
This is Sharon being happy for Andy and for them. But this is also the Captain thinking The electronics room is not the place for this, Lieutenant?