sometimes they eat with their hands

  • Rose: Sometimes all hope is lost and you have to succumb to the urge to eat plain white bread, untouched, with your bare hands.
  • Kanaya: Rose Please Calm Down Dinner Will Be Ready In Thirty
  • Minutes

anonymous asked:

Sometimes when i'm home alone i like to shove handfuls of raw mayonnaise into my mouth and lather it all over my naked body while i continue eating. I imagine you are lathering my naked body in it and feeding me the mayonnaise while i do it to myself. I once filled my bathtub with mayonnaise and almost died it it. I wish i had and i'm going to try again soon. Thank you for contributing to my mayo fantasies.

thanks for checking out my blog

Squish

Title: Squish

Fandom: Sander Sides

Pairing(s): Logicality

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 2564

Warning(s): Weight Mention

Tag List: @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch

Finally finished @lamp-calm-sanders fic, so sorry it took so long (I say knowing full well this is sadly the shortest amount of time it has ever taken me to write a fic, I am so sorry) (also spent like and hour trying to fix this because tumblr hates the copy paste option)  

~~~

Logan hadn’t always felt bad about his body. Logan hadn’t always looked at his chub with disdain or fantasized what it would be like to be skinny, he hadn’t always wondered what it would be like to not be fat. God, he hated that word, he hated it’s definition, the connotations it brought when he said it, he even hated the ugly way it seemed to roll off his tongue. But he hated that he hated his body even more. He knew he wasn’t unhealthy (He encouraged Thomas to eat healthily often and Logan was not much of a hypocrite) it was just how his body metabolized food and he understood that. He knew the other three loved him and his body but he still couldn’t stop the negativity he felt when he thought about it.

Like he said though, he hadn’t always hated his size, for most of his life the thoughts never dared cross his mind. He wasn’t really sure when they had started, when Thomas was younger he hadn’t minded his size, if anything he liked his body. And he knew the other sides had no problem. Roman didn’t really care, he could playfully quip with Logan no matter how skinny or fat he was. Virgil liked to act like it didn’t bother him but he secretly loved the comfort that came with Logan’s hugs that wouldn’t have felt the same if Logan were any skinnier (he had always taken pride in being the only one besides Patton who could calm the anxious trait down.) And Patton, of course, loved Logan’s size, when they were younger Patton would always gush about how adorable Logan was, calling Logan his favorite “squish.”

Squish (adj)- a way of describing someone who is smol (see card 37), loveable, and sometimes even physically squishy.

Logan pretended he thought it was annoying but he secretly loved the endearing nickname. A warm fuzzy feeling would erupt in his chest whenever Patton said it, his heart would swell and his cheeks would turn bright red (when he was older and could understand emotions better he defined this feeling as happiness.)

Happiness (n)- the state of feeling happy (showing or feeling pleasure/contentment)

But that all changed during Thomas’s teenage years. It had started off small, Thomas would watch a movie with his friends, the coined “fat kid” was always the butt of the jokes. Logan had brushed it off at the time, high school children were often harsh for the sake of it, there was nothing wrong with him, the cruelties of high school were to blame. Then Thomas’s chubbier friends would get picked on at school, Logan once again would brush it off as useless teenage bullying but now there was an inkling of doubt (what if they were right? What if he was the wrong one here, what if they were right) Then social media began to take off and everywhere Logan would people just like him endlessly picked on for no other reason than how big they were. They were accused of being lazy, fat, disgusting, unhygienic, unmotivated, wrong, bad, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

After careful data analysis and consideration Logan finally concluded that being fat was bad. If so many people hated it (hated him) then statistically it must be true. Fat was wrong, he was wrong.

If Logan was younger he would have talked to Patton or Virgil about it. He would have crawled in their beds and cried his feelings away until he felt better. He could’ve sobbed into Patton’s chest and laid his insecurities out as they cuddled in his bed. He could have leaned on Virgil’s shoulder as they watched rain trickle down the their windows, just enjoying the quiet content of it all. 

But it was too late for that, they had grown distant as Thomas had gotten older. Virgil was much more controlling during high school, he knew all the horrible things kids in school could do and he just wanted to protect Thomas from it all. But the other sides never thought that was the right way approach to high school and soon it became a constant war of Virgil vs. everyone else. So it hadn’t really surprised Logan when the other’s bickering had grown so tiresome for the anxious side that he had decided he was done with it all and retired to his room. Patton had been upset at first but Virgil could still do his job and he came out eat when he needed to so eventually Patton relented. By the time Thomas started making vines Logan had only seen Virgil a handful of times.

And Logan, too, had become more distant, Patton and Roman were too emotional most of the time (this was when he missed his left brain bro… the name was Virgil’s suggestion) and he did not have the time or energy to deal with them. He and Roman started disagreeing more often, Roman’s outlandish ideas sometimes overpowering any logical thought. Patton, of course, tried to bond with him every once in awhile but each time Logan would brush it off, so yeah, Logan was not in any position to ask any of them for help.

So he dealt on his own, and he was good at it. He learned to bottle his emotions up into this tiny spot in his chest and never touch them again. Using that method he could cope with all his issues without any negative connotations for Thomas. He was fine.

Until he wasn’t.

~~~

“This one’s for you Patton!” Thomas exclaimed, phone in hand. It was a late Tuesday night and they had yet again been subjected to Sides Q&A. “What’s your favorite cartoon?”

“Ooh! It’s so hard to choose,” Patton gushed. “But if I have to choose I’d saaaaaay, Steven Universe but Legend of Korra is always a close second.” Patton said with a grin. It’d been a bad day for Logan, nothing particular had happened it was just one of those really bad days where the mirrors seemed to distort his image until he felt like he was looking at an ugly monster. It was one of those day where he didn’t want anyone to see him, it made him feel open and vulnerable and he couldn’t deal with that right now.  It was just one of those days where he just wanted to lay in his bed and hide under the covers until the sun went away. But life was never exactly kind to Logan when exactly kind when he wanted it to be.

“Virgil, in your opinion, who gives the best hugs?” Thomas queried, breaking Logan from his train of thought.

“I don’t really have many options considering Patton’s the only one who hugs me but I guess I’d say Patton,” Virgil said, bitterness from his years of exclusion leaking through. Pain pierced through Logan’s heart, he used to be Virgil’s favorite hugger.

Longing (n)- a yearning desire for what once was or what could be

“I will make an effort in the future to engage in more comforting physical contact.” Logan managed to squeeze out of his chest, stoic as ever, determined to hide the swell of emotions threatening to break the surface.

“As will I!” Roman declared. “I shall become the best hugger you have ever seen Virgil dear.” Virgil rolled his eyes but everyone could see the light blush that dusted his cheeks.

“Ah! Here’s another one for Logan,” Thomas interrupted. “What’s your favorite vocabulary card?” The interests of the other three perked up. It seemed like Logan had hundreds of cards and they’d only seen a handful.

”There are many that I’ve grown fond of but at this time my favorite is Extra.” Logan replied, flipping the card out from his back pocket.

Extra (adj)- Someone who is over the top, flamboyant or dramatic when it is not necessary

“It was not only one of the easier ones to learn but it is also an adequate insult for Roman.” He said with a mischievous smirk. Roman feigned an affronted gasp.

“I’ll let you know,” He cried, hand over his heart “I take that as a compliment.” He said dramatically and sniffled.

“See, case in point. You are extra.” Logan said, pointing at him, earning a chuckle from Virgil and another gasp from Roman. Thomas chuckled but pulled up another ask.

“This one’s for all of you,” He said. “Who do you all think is the hottest?” Immediately, they all jumped in, putting in their thoughts.

“Noooo, I can’t choose we’re all beautiful.” Patton said in distress eyes bouncing to all of them wildly.

“Oh it’s me of course,” Roman said gallantly, striking a pose.

“Why are you forcing us to choose who is what society expects to be ‘hot?’”Virgil asked, shaking his head. 

“I hate to say it, but I do agree with Roman,” Logan spoke up and everyone paused to stare at him, even Thomas, Logan rarely agreed with Roman, much less on frivolous things such as this. “While you all are beautiful in your own way, Roman is the only one who fits the societal version of a hot version and actively tries to maintain this image.” No one spoke for a moment, the air tense and uncomfortable. Everyone was staring at Logan like he’d just grown two more heads, he looked away, not used to so much attention on him at once. Finally, Patton broke the silence.

“You mean, we are all beautiful, you forgot yourself.” He whispered and Logan tensed, Patton was the type of person who just sort of knew when someone wasn’t feeling like themselves and Logan didn’t want Patton to know right now.

Intuition (n)- the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning

“Yes, yes, of course, merely a slip of the tongue,” Logan lied, his fingers tapping on his wrist to the beat of his nervous heart rate. “However, this question was shallow and I’d prefer not to take part in ones like these again, therefore I shall be going. Goodbye everyone.” He sunk out as quick as he could, he could hear the others saying their goodbyes and following behind him as he willed all his strength into not sprinting into his room and collapsing into his bed.

“Hey, Logan,” Virgil mumbled from behind, managing to catch him in the commons. “Umm.. sleep well.” He said, smiling softly, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. It may not have seemed like much but Logan knew it was so much more, when he was ready he would go to Virgil and finally talk about what was bothering him but he wasn’t ready yet and Virgil understood that.

With that comforting thought, he finally made it into his room and collapsed on the bed, the metaphorical damn breaking as his chest seemed to cleave in two, silent tears leaking out as he curled in on himself, bringing his knees to his chest. But he surprisingly didn’t feel particularly bad, there wasn’t any of the usual uncomfortable ball of sadness weighing on his chest, instead there was nothing. But he didn’t feel good either. It wasn’t like the weight had been lifted, it seemed more like a pleasant numbing. If he was being honest, he didn’t really feel anything at all.

He could deal with that, not feeling was fine, Logan was perfectly okay with not feeling. It probably wasn’t healthy but it was something different from the aches that usually plagued him everyday and Logan could use every break he could get. Patton, on the other hand, was not fine with that and chose a very poor time to barge into Logan’s room.

“Hey, kiddo, I noticed you were feeling down earlier and wanted to know if-” Patton paused, noticing the strange emptiness of the room. “Logan?” Logan didn’t move, laying still in his void of nothingness, he wanted Patton to go away and take all his feelings with him, Logan did not need them right now, he couldn’t breathe when they were there and needed them to leave.

“Oh honey,” Patton cooed and hurried over to the bed to sit next to Logan, his hand resting soothingly on Logan’s knee. “Is this about the Q&A question earlier?” Logan hesitantly nodded numbly, staring right past Patton. It was useless lying to Patton, he’d pester Logan until he confessed if he didn’t.

“I-I was not feeling my best.” He managed to mumble, the salty sensation of his tears shocking him closer to reality.

“Why?” Patton asked softly.

“It.. reminded me that I-I do not have a.. d-desirable body type.” He said slowly and Patton frowned.

“Is it because you’re chubbier than us?” Patton asked and Logan nodded again, more tears flowing as a silent sob wracked through him. Patton frowned and turned to face the crying boy. “You know that your size has nothing to do with your beauty right?” Logan paused.

“B-But it does,” Logan said earnestly. “I have looked over so much data, and the data shows that fat people are ugly. So I must be ugly… It’s only logical thinking.” He trailed off at the end, looking away from Patton and focusing on a tiny speck of dust in his covers.

“Can you sit up kiddo? I want to prove you wrong.” Patton said after a moment, an unidentifiable look in his eyes. Logan frowned but relented, sitting cross legged across from Patton, who smiled and poked his arm.

“See these arms? You may only see flab, but I see that these arms are the same arms that give the best hugs in the mindscape, even Virgil will agree with me on this one.” Patton lightly squeezed his arm and Logan rolled his eyes.

“And this tum?” Patton lightly pinched a bit of fat around his stomach. “This is the cutest tum I have ever seen. Even if you don’t think so.” He gave Logan a quick tickle as Logan giggled slightly and squirmed away.

“And you said your body isn’t hot? Well we must be talking about different people because Logan baby those hips do not lie.” Patton whistled, gaining a small chuckle from Logan. “You are perfect just the way you are Logan, your size is beautiful and just the right size for you. Your size is a part of who you are, you wouldn’t be my favorite squish without it.” The childhood nickname sent Logan over the edge as he launched himself into Patton’s arms, sobbing as Patton cupped Logan’s head against his shoulder. He let years of anguish and self loathing overflow as he clung to Patton like a frightened child. Patton calmingly shushed him and whispers words of kindness into his ears as they fell back against Logan’s bed, content in each other’s arms.

Logan knew he’d always have bad days. He knew there would be times where he couldn’t stand to look in a mirror. There would be days he’d want to hide away and never let anyone in but he knew Patton and the other sides would always be there for him and in that moment, for Logan, that was enough.

Also, Logan lied, extra was not his favorite vocabulary word.

Squish (adj)- a way of describing someone who is smol (see card 37), loveable, and sometimes even physically squishy. (i.e Logan)

how Colton Parayko is like in bed

Originally posted by intermissionpenguins

what Colton Parayko is like in bed:

- Colton is such a good guy

- i’m 1000% sure he’s treat you right

- he always has his hands on you

- would never not reciprocate 

- he’ll eat you out before he even thinks about asking for a blowjob

- and he enjoys it too

- he’d love to he your breathless little moans and the way you grab his hair

- once you tried some cute little lace lingerie and he spent half an hour just complementing you

- he’s not kinky at all and everything is a little vanilla but he’s good at what he does

- how is he so good at everything

- sometimes he wears his glasses in bed and wow

- he says something cheesy like “i want to properly look at you” or something like that

- i said wow before and i’ll say it again: wow

- he has these really passionate groans that make you feel weak

- afterwards he holds you and tells you how amazing it was

- he does this everytime

- will totally make you breakfast in the morning


his dick:

- big dude = big dick


the experience:

10/10

anonymous asked:

Can I get a nsfw hc of Aizawa receiving a bj + him eating out his s/o? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Oh my, yes, yes you can sweetie! I hope you enjoy this because I sure enjoyed writing it!!!

- Eclipse  🍟🍟🍟



🕶️ God damn, receiving a blow job from you is heaven to this stressed man!

🕶️ The effect you have on him just by sucking on his dick is shocking! Though his moans are quiet and there aren’t many of them, you can tell that they mean he’s enjoying himself immensely.

🕶️ He’ll tangle a hand into your hair, pulling your head down and burying himself into your welcoming mouth. He knows that sometimes you get annoyed by that but there are days when that’s exactly what he needs, it doesn’t last for long though, once he gets it out of his system, he’ll let you take charge of the blow job again.

🕶️ Make sure you use your tongue on his dick, it’ll drive him absolutely mad and send him over the edge faster, though he won’t ever admit it!

🕶️ After you’ve made him orgasm with your mouth, Shouta will decide that it’s time for revenge.

🕶️ You’ll find yourself on your back before you can blink with his head between your legs, his hot breath blowing over your most sensitive places, making you gasp in surprise.

🕶️ Sometimes it was hard to remember that your lazy boyfriend could move so quickly.

🕶️ He sets to work instantly, his teeth grazing against your clit while his fingers tease your already dripping entrance, a deep chuckle escaping him.

🕶️ “You enjoyed sucking my dick that much did you (Name)?”

🕶️ Before you can answer, his tongue makes its way to your entrance, licking slowly but firmly, making you buck your hips in surprise, knowing you were in more trouble than you had initially expected.

🕶️ His tongue works magic on you, dragging moan after moan from your lips, your chest heaving with effort as Shouta flooded your body with pleasure, it was almost too much for you.

🕶️ Shouta can sometimes be a cruel man.

🕶️ On this occasion, you aren’t allowed to orgasm.

🕶️ Each time, before you can reach the orgasm you so desperately crave, he pulls his mouth away, nipping and kissing along your thighs to allow you time to come down from your near-high of pleasure before he would undoubtedly go back to making you moan his name.

🕶️ When Shouta feels that he’s had his fill of fun, and you, he allows you to orgasm, watching in silent amusement as you scream out his name and tug on the bed sheets roughly, your toes curling from the amount of pleasure that was coursing through your veins.

26 Years: Part 5

I’m not sitting at my desk anymore. Instead I’m inside of Roy’s pillow fort and I’m eating snacks that were from the great hall. Karrista would probably say ‘I have given up adulating today and I am now reliving my childhood*. Roy was reading a book to himself and I was looking up at the blanket my mother gave, the pendant my father sent is twirling in my hand.

“Um. Justiciar Underchild?” Said a voice from the otherside of the fort.

“Password!” Roy shouted. “No one comes in with out the password, and it’s in forsaken!”

Reaching over I ruffled the boys hair and climbed out of the fort. “Forgive the kid, he’s having a good time.

The courier was looking at me like I had two heads. Brushing myself off I raise myself up to my normal professional posture. But I think any professionalism was gone with the large fort that had the sign ‘Fort Mal-Roy, identity check before entering, except for the Duchess. The Duchess can come in for snacks.’

“Ummm.” The Courier held out a neatly wrapped package. “This was just delivered from the mail from Dalaran.”

For a moment had to think who would send me something from Dalaran, but I knew. My Aunt Hellorin and Uncle Ebonhoof. Picking up the package I found a letter. “Thanks mate.”

As if that was more than enough dismissal, the courier fled the room. Instead of feeling insulted I opened the letter up.

Malura,
I hope you are doing well and that you will see your Uncle and myself again soon. I know times have been hard on you. We read The Royal Courier and are worried about your safety. If you need anything, know you always have a home with us.
I have made you something that might be useable for you in Silverpine, The winters get rather cool there if I remember. I hope this serves you well.
With Regards
Magistrate Hellorin of Thunderbluff

Reaching into the package I pull out a long black jacket and smile. Hellorin might have wished me to be able to wear fancy dresses like her, but she learned that wasn’t me. It was never going to be me.

Turning to the fort I paused. I might have wanted a low key birthday… but the letters, the gifts… Being with at least one person who I consider a friend. This was probably making to be the best birthday I’ve had in a while.

new-king-of-boomtown  asked:

Aaay you know the ship imma do mang: Jesse and Lukas

Who is the restless sleeper? They both are. It’s a little better when they’re with each other, but even then everything they’ve gone through sometimes catches up with them and makes it very hard to get a good night’s sleep, or even any sleep at all.

Who eats cereal for dinner? Lukas and Jesse both have a bad habit of getting too wrapped up in what they’re doing and forgetting things, like forgetting to eat, so sometimes their dinner ends up being whatever’s around and easy to make, so very often cereal.

Who wears odd socks? If you don’t think that Jesse has a collection of crazy, colorful, and themed socks then you’re dead wrong, she does and she’s stupidly proud of them. 

Who reads more? Lukas hands down. Not that Jesse doesn’t ever read, but he’s always been an avid reader and just because he spends more time writing the books now, it doesn’t mean he stops reading when he gets the chance.

Who prefers a bath over a shower? Jesse. She gets very stressed out being Beacontown’s mayor hero in residence and leader, so it’s one of those rare moments she can be alone and just relax.

Who can knit? Jesse can…sort of. She knows how to knit, she just can’t do it well. That doesn’t mean that everyone doesn’t get a bunch of poorly (but lovingly) knit gifts from time to time.

Who has the weirder laugh? Lukas, particularly when he’s not trying to control it. Surprisingly, his laugh can get a little out of control sometimes.

Who gets more jealous? Lukas. Both Jesse and Lukas are pretty popular, but Jesse’s a bit more so, being generally out in public more and of course this comes with attention of all kinds, and Jesse is much better at handling someone showing romantic interest in her partner than Lukas is.

Who sleeps with a teddy bear? Neither of them. The closest either of them would get would be Jesse with Reuben (if/when he was alive) and Dewey who shamelessly crashes in bed with both of them, though both are a far cry from a stuffed animal.

Who still uses internet explorer? Modern!Jesse would probably be a bit less adept at technology than Lukas, so it would probably be her, at least until someone gently tells her to try using something else.

Who is the most sentimental? Both of them, but in different ways. Lukas is sentimental in a ‘writing sappy love letters’ sort of way and Jesse’s sentimental in a ‘keeping all the sappy love letters in a box for safe keeping’ sort of way.

Who can play an instrument? Lukas plays the guitar and while it’s not technically an instrument they both sing (though Lukas is maybe a little better at it).

Who has the worst sense of direction? Jesse isn’t always the best with directions. She’ a great leader in most regards, but when it comes to navigating it’s best left to others.

Who cooks breakfast? Both, it really depends on which of them is awake first and whether or not they’re willing to get out of bed on lazy days and do it. On rare occasions they do it together.

Who is the early riser? Jesse more often than not because she’s trying to keep on top of her work. Lukas, in contrast, usually stays up later when he gets carried away with writing so he’s usually up later.

if you experience depression, reblog with your opinion on:

  • plain tortilla chips eaten with nothing on them
  • eating cereal by the handful, straight out of the box
  • cold, 4-day old leftovers
  • peanut butter straight out of the jar
  • eating two slices of bread

- Draco scrubs the skin on his arm viciously every time he showers. The skin is always red and marked by scratches. He tries so hard to get the mark off of him. He wants to feel clean again.
- George can’t look in the mirror anymore. Not without remembering Fred. He smashes all mirrors in their home. He cuts his hair, he dyes it.
- Neville sees Nagini in his dreams. But in his dreams it reaches Ron and Hermione before he does.
- Harry has multiple wands all around his house hidden in places that only he knows. Beneath his pillow, beneath his bed, under the couch. Just in case.
- Hermione’s boggart is no longer failure.
- Draco and Blaise are afraid of fire.
- Someone accidentally calls George “Fred” once. No one knows who starts crying first.
- Headmistress Miverna Mcgonagall is fierce, powerful and kind. All first years are intimidated and amazed, she seems untouchable. However some nights she roams the school hallways and remembers every student she lost, every life that got taken away too soon, every soul that left them too early.
- Harry suddenly can’t stay in very small rooms. He feels trapped, his throat starts convulsing and his eyes sting.
- Hagrid still feels the weight of what he thought was Harry’s corpse in his hands. It haunts him.
- Hermione, Ron and Harry had gotten so used to spending months having one small meal per day that sometimes they forget they’re supposed to eat.
- Harry rolls in his sleep once and hits his forehead against the night stand on accident, when he wakes up with pain on his forehead his heart sinks and his whole body freezes. It isn’t until he sees the bruise that he’s able to calm down. Because Voldemort isn’t back.
- Ron dreams that he’s back in their tent, traveling and hiding, he’s changing the radio stations and he hears Ginny’s names as one of the victims.
- Molly always has “where’s Fred?” on the tip of her tongue, at all times.
- Harry spends the year post-war discovering who he is, what he loves, other than the Boy-who-lived and the Savior-of-the-Wizarding-World. Because there are things he never had time to think about, never had time to experiment, never had time to experience. Sometimes he wonders if coming back had been the right choice, because it hurt so bad on some days that he couldn’t take it.
- When Teddy is sad or scared and he’s crying, Harry tells him stories and shows him pictures of his parents, it’s then and only then that he calms down and his hair goes back to normal.
- Harry pulls back to himself when the date of his death nears every year, his friends do everything in their power to bring him out of it.
- Draco and Harry have talks about the war some nights, both saw what Voldemort was capable of, Harry in his dreams, Draco in his home. Both understand.
- Luna is quirkier and weirder than ever before. She always does everything in her power to lighten up the mood in the room when the silence is bitter and mournful. It’s like she can’t stop shifting and smiling and nervously twitching and saying random facts about things no one has heard of before. Everyone knows it’s her way of coping, of staying positive. So no one minds. It’s comforting.
- Harry gets the sudden desire to travel all over the world. Sometimes Ron and Hermione come with him, others he goes alone, once Neville joins him. Draco does too.
- Draco starts writing, he writes thousands of words on some nights and none on others. He’s good at it, too.
- Harry always, without fail, looks for Sirius’ constellation. He visits his grave too, tells him how things are going in his life, how he’s coping, how he isn’t.
- Hermione getting a tattoo of blooming pastel flowers on top of her “mudblood” scar, because she’s alive, many her friends are alive and she wants to remember that.

And maybe not all is well, maybe they have scars time cannot erase, but they’re together, their hearts are still beating, so it’ll be okay. They’re going to be okay.

control your own consumption of content

Sarah is allergic to strawberries. As soon as she puts them in her mouth, her face swells up and she gets hives. As far as she knows it’s not life-threatening, but she knows any food allergy has the potential to be dangerous and life-threatening and is so is careful. 

Sally is also allergic to strawberries, and has the same symptoms. 

Sarah informs her friends she is allergic to strawberries so they can stop using them in shared food and preparing shared food with the same utensils. Some of them even stop eating strawberries too (or, at least, stop eating them around her), so she is more comfortable. Sarah researches places she can eat out that will take care with her allergy, and chooses restaurants who agree they can accommodate her, or who do not use strawberries in any of their cooking. She also carries her Epi-pen, just in case cross-contamination takes place. 

Sally, on the other hand, goes into restaurants specifically advertising only strawberry desserts, orders a dessert, and makes a huge fuss when she gets sick. She takes to social media, the local newspapers, everywhere, to tell people how terrible this restaurant is for not specifically accommodating her personal allergy. She goes back frequently to insult and harass specific staff. Some staff have even quit because of her. Sally says it is her personal right to have her allergy accommodated in every single place she feels like eating! She posts pictures of herself all swollen and ill everywhere (and sometimes, from in hospital!) and blames the restaurant and the staff for her discomfort. 

Be like Sarah, not like Sally. 

Control your own consumption of content, don’t enter tags you don’t like, and don’t harass creators that make things you don’t like because you’ve decided you have to have the entire internet cater to your personal likes and comforts. 

anonymous asked:

How do you fall back in love with life?

  1. clean your room.  clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesn’t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders.  clean the dishes.  sweep.  take out the trash.  peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them.  take a long shower.  scrub behind your knees.  brush your teeth.  (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can.  the end result is worth it.)
  2. pull out your notebook.  it doesn’t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you don’t usually write in, or that you haven’t touched in a while.  fuck moleskins.  the yellow legal pad will work fine.  sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list.  count clouds.  describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise.  sketch the cracks in the walls.  note the shape light makes when it enters a space.  talk about what the air tastes like, smells like.  what sounds are there?  even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything.  remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail.  remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness.  your world is fathomless.  it has potential.
  3. drink cold water and try to eat something that isn’t processed.  it does not need to be fancy.  buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions.  eat it outside.  if you’re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs.  take your fucking meds.  remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body.  your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesn’t change its inherent worth and splendor.  take care of it.
  4. read a novel.  underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen.  read a novel like it’s poetry.  read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious.  watch a movie you haven’t seen before.  if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one.  take your time.  let yourself bask.  if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down – marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.
  5. your chosen family is important.  remember, they picked you as much as you picked them.  the love has no obligation.  it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion.  you are not a burden.  if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people.  when they need you, listen and be gracious.  always be gracious.  the universe sometimes remembers things like that.
  6. listen to new music.  link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that.  listen to something that you don’t usually listen to.  we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music.  we are falling in love again.  the soundtrack needs to be specific to that.  
  7. allow yourself to indulge in romantics.  press flowers in old books.  play movies with subtitles and mouth the words.  dance in your room.  wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldn’t wear it in public.  write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them.  write poetry, even awful poetry.  revel in its awfulness.  eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market.  
Beginner Witch Tips

WARNING: I am a sarcastic butthole and it shows through out this hot mess of a post. This is some random craft junk I have learned in my days of practicing witchcraft

Witch craft is not magic.

I don’t care what you have heard. Witchcraft is not magic. It can not turn your eyes different colors. It can not make you into a animal. You will not be able to control the weather or summon wind with your fingers. Ghosts will not do as you say. This is not Harry Potter. Case closed

Intent over tools

Do you think it’s gonna matter if you use a butter knife as an athame? Or you have to sub a white candle for another color because you don’t have the funds to buy that color? Or you had to leave out an ingredient because you don’t have it or you’re allergic? No, it’s not. Witchcraft (to me) is about mind over matter. If you are making an effort for your God/god/goddess/deity/elf/fae/etc it isn’t gonna matter what or how you got there, but the intent you had getting there

Cursing and hexing is up to you and your beliefs

Totally up to you if you believe that this is okay or not. However, if you don’t like this, do not go and tell someone else it’s wrong. If they ask you how you feel you can tell them it’s not your thing. If you do like this, do not go and tell someone else it’s fine and try to get them to accept it. If they ask you about it, you can tell them that you are into it

You do not have to have an alter

It’s up to you and your practice. And if you can where you are etc. If you want one and can not have one, draw one or, my favorite, Set up a pinterest board for your god/goddess/fae/elf/deity etc. and save things that you thing relate to them.

It’s not about fancy stuff

This goes back to intent over tools, as long as you are comfortable with what you are doing and using, do it and use it. I use salsa and yogurt containers, coffee filters taped together, M&M tubes, and envelopes to keep crap in. I use a 99¢ Wal-Mart bandanna to do spells on that I got from Girl Scout camp and it has rainbow peace signs all over it. Do I care? Nope. Does anyone else care or will they judge you? Nope. we are all in the same boat here.

Hand making things is way too underrated  

I LOVE hand making things. Whether you are good or bad at it, it is a good way to save money, and personalize it just for you. Example: I made tarot cards out of printer paper that I cut out and wrote the card name, and definition of what it means (to me) and I love them. Pencil wand? Yas queen. DIY cauldron out of play-dough? Frick me u p daddy.

DONT EAT/SMOKE/DRINK SOMETHING YOU HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT

You’d think I would have to include this bUT
Some things are okay to consume. Sometimes if taking a certain medicine you can’t consume that. Sometimes you are allergic to one thing, and in turn you will be allergic to that thing too. Sometimes you are pregnant and it’S HIGHLY DANGEROUS TO CONSUME THINGS WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IT DOES

Never ignore professional medical advice and help in favor of witchcraft methods.

Case c l o s e d

Spirit workers

Not nice spirits can attach to people who have depression and anxiety more so than people who don’t

There are good and bad spirits. if one makes you feel comfomy, do not feel bad for asking it to leave/getting rid of it

Don’t ask your tarot cards every time you have a question

This happens a lot. Especially when you get a new deck and it’s so new and shiny and you can’t w a i t to get your grubby little hands on it and do crap >:D but you don’t want to get into the habbit of “ohgoshgollybatman I have to go to the store, okay let’s see if I’ll get hit by a car… oh and do I really need the applejuice..”  or “do I REALLY need this plant..” bc the answer to that is always yes duh

Divination is not for predicting the future

Now stay with me, it is for guiding you in the future. It can not tell you what day you are going to die, who you are going to marry, etc 

The future is not written in stone

Let’s sayyyyy you do a simple past, present, and future reading with tarot, and you get a bad reading for the future, it doesn’t matter. That is how it is going right now, now you can see what you need to change etc 

You dont need a fancy journal for a grimore or book of shawdows

Heckadoodle I use a binder and notebook paper so I can move stuff around. I just write with a pencil and pen, and color with dollar store crayons or collered pencils. 
Now, you may be thinking, “Oh but, it’s a nice binder right?” Lemme stop you right there. It is falling apart, needs to be ducktaped, has a picture of my doggo inside and I’ve used it for school for abouutt.. 7 years?
Summin’ it up: It don’t gotta be fancy

If you forget to blow out candles set a timer on your phone

I do this all the freaking time and I’ll leave a candle out, and then here comes mother. Closet underage witches know the struggle. Trying to explain why you have a burning candle left in your room. Or if you are adult and have to adult after a spell or whatever and leave the house and come back to the candle just sittin’ there. Burning away. (my mom did this once and it caught her table on fire)
Timer. Yep.

You don’t have to know a certain language 

This is more focused to me bc i am nerd but okie dokie
I know Latin from school, therefore I mix it into my spells (like some on @witchy-recipes-and-things) and provide a translation. I don’t want anyone to think you have to have a certain language for your craft.

How to Ouija

Tbh this is too long already so if you want another post on it tell me and I’ll make one and link it

Sigils can be drawn everywhere

In your phone case, in your wallet, in a shoe, under fingernail polish, under seats, wherever whatever-I can also elaborate more on this

TAROT IS PRONOUNCED “TARO”

CONSENT IS KEY

When doing love spells, consent from the other person is a must. 

You can be a christian, athiest, pagan, whatever, and still do witchcraft

It is about the craft, not religion 

Witchcraft is not a religion, Wicca is

And you do not have to be Wiccan to partake in Witchcraft

Sage doesn’t have to be in cone shape to burn it

I put rubbed sage meant for cooking on a metal plate and torch the sucker Shane Dawson style but with one of the long lighters, then run around my house in my underware screaming “MAY THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU BITCH” in Latin

When cleansing 

OPEN.THE.WINDOWS.WHEN.DEALING.WITH.SMOKE
Trust your witch mother who is allergic to everything and is an asthmatic, open the windows and doors.
Also, as the smoke leaves you room through the windows or whatever, the spirits/bad vibes/etc leave with it

You don’t have to believe everything you read

Witchcraft is how YOU feel about things. No matter how other people feel about things

You can have your own corresponces for things

Like I think cinnamon is hot, deals with the sun, direction south, used for healing love etc., but it can be totally different for you

Divination doers do not have to be witches and witches do not have to be divination doers

S T U D Y

Can not stress this enough. This is the best thing to do even if you can not practice your craft where you are atm. knowledge is power.

So here is a list I’ve complied :D (yes I’ve made all of these, I was too bored to ask people’s permission to add things, sue me) (All of the spells are all religion inclusive)

Learn you star sign with detail
Edible Flower List
Witch Tools
Tarot Meanings Cheat Sheet

Good First Spell-Calming Tea Spell
DIY Charcoal Pencil
Get Shit Done Bottle
Spell to Sleep
Sea in a Bottle
Protection and Calm Bottle
Find a Item You Lot

Referring to “When cleansing”, Line two, words 3-4, I am now your witch mother and if you ever have any questions feel free to ask! This list was requested from a witchling and if you have any requests feel free to ask :3

general study tips

this is just a quick list of study habits that work for me, as a straight a’s student

1. even if it’s not in your teacher’s presentation written on a slide, if you hear your teacher mention a fact, WRITE IT DOWN. you might need it later for a test.

2. when you’re rewriting your notes/compiling a study guide, pretend you’re making it for someone else. include everything, even if you think you know it. (unless you’re low on time, in which case, just write what you don’t know)

3. when you’re trying to learn a new concept, pretend you’re teaching it to someone else. this is a form of active learning, and the act of breaking the concept down into steps that you can teach will improve your understanding of the concept. (for the longest time, i actually didn’t even know this was an actual study technique, because i’ve always done it subconsciously!)

4. don’t over color your notes!! if you really need a key for all the colors, then you’re using way too many. try to stick with 2-3 pens/pencils. for me, i write most of my notes in black ink or pencil and i write the important concepts i might need to find quickly later (such as vocabulary) in red or blue pen.

5. have your water bottle next to you (so you remember to stay hydrated; this makes focusing easier as well), as well as any other things you might need during a study session so you don’t have to keep getting up to get stuff (which is pretty distracting for me as i’m easily sidetracked).

6. make it a habit to write lists of everything you need to do by the end of the weekend (or the end of that day, depending on how much work you have). this’ll help you familiarize yourself with your tasks so you have a clear plan of what needs to get done.

7. (not really necessary, just something i like to do!) learn to eat with your non-dominant hand so you can eat and take notes and turn pages w/out ripping them instead of scrolling through social media. keep in mind that sometimes, meal times are for taking your mind off school so unless you’re really pressed for time, it’s not a huge deal if you spend this time w/passive reading, texting friends, etc.

8. when you’re assigned a research project, COME UP WITH A THESIS FIRST so you know what to research. try to get all your research done within the first two days or so, to have more time to plan out how you’re going to structure it. then get your draft done (something is better than nothing) so you can revise at your own pace instead of rushing at the last minute.

9. prioritize your homework!! as someone who spends hours fencing and even misses school for fencing tournaments, is part of symphonic band, and on the robotics team (build season is suuuuuper busy), i can’t express how important this is!! if you have math first period, get that done first, whereas if you have math last period, you can do it at lunch and spend your time working on something that’s due in the morning. don’t do this all the time, but if you need to, know which teachers are more strict with due dates so if you really do need an extension, you’ll be asking the least strict teacher and will have much better chances of getting said extension.

10. if you study at home like me, change into new clothes (comfy clothes, but not pajamas) before cracking open your textbooks. it’ll help make you feel more refreshed and ready to start your homework, but not confined to uncomfortable uniforms from school. tie up your hair, if it’s long. try to study at a table/desk rather than in bed (for sleeping not studying) or on the floor (bad for your posture).

11. check out this post for productive things you can do when you aren’t studying, but still want to be productive!

hope these helped some of you!!

xoxo, sal

Shit the Foxes said on talk shows
  • Neil: So Kevin comes in at like 1 in the morning, brand new tattoo on his face, and he's drunk as hell but he's making this surprisingly coherent speech about being the deadliest piece of the board, and I'm just sitting there not saying a word because I don't know a thing about chess.
  • Dan: There's a video on my computer containing cuts from every single time Andrew sent a ball flying into someone's head set to the Donky Kong theme song. It's two and a half hours.
  • Allison: Neil has this thing where bad things happening to him are like a matter of fact. Once, he and I met up for lunch, and when the bill came he asked if he could pay me back later because he got mugged on the way over. As it turns out, what I mistook for Neil being a picky eater was actually Neil trying to eat without upsetting a shallow stab wound.
  • Renee: I don't drink alcohol because you can't account for what you'll do when you're drunk. Though sometimes that turns out fun. About a year ago we found out that Matt knows how to sing Sweden's national anthem backwards by heart, and that was hilarious. But on the other hand I've had Allison and Nicky competing on who can break a glass with their voice at three in the morning, so.
  • Matt: Kevin is definitely seems like everything in his life is about Exy, but get to know him and you realize that he has plenty of interests, it's just that he has no concept of doing things in moderation. So it's less a stick up his butt and more like, I don't know, a pool noodle or something.
  • Aaron: Neil doesn't have a concept of money, a fact which on any given day swings between hilarious and flat out tragic. He refused to pay $15.90 for new pants but said he'd pay for my med school if I stopped making fun of his new haircut. To be clear, both of these things happened in the same conversation.
  • Nicky: I love God, I do. He's always in my heart. But I guess God has abandonment issues because every time I see a commercial for a McFlurry I can just feel him testing me.
  • Andrew: The thing about the Foxes is that the stress level on any given day can fluctuate so wildly you get whiplash. One day you're getting yelled at for not blocking a shot, the next you're getting yelled at for "obstruction of justice" or whatever it is the Feds call it when you remind them that they can't come in without a search warrant. Why Wymack does this willingly is beyond me.
  • Kevin: On the one hand, the Foxes are much less organized, not to mention a smaller team. Every game, we're at an almost immediate disadvantage. On the other hand, Ravens are contractually forbidden from Irish coffee. So overall the decision isn't hard.

 Here are a few language headcanons, because I know you kids love them:

Viktor’s English doesn’t really get proficient until he’s in his late teens, probably after the Turin Olympics. He’s spoken French flawlessly since he was small, but English doesn’t come to him as quickly for a variety of reasons, so there are plenty of remnants of his pre-fluency days–interviews where his accent is thick and his articles are nonexistent. Viktor is embarrassed by them; Yuuri covets them.

Yuuri, on the other hand, has been more or less fluent in English since a young age, through the combined efforts of Minako and maybe his father. His time in America only improved his fluency. He speaks in a midwestern lilt, tends to speak with sibilant S’s, and drops double consonants. People have called his accent ‘feminine’–which is hilarious to Yuuri, because he grew up speaking Japanese in an incredibly gruff accent.

(An accent, by the way, that Viktor picks up)

There are many people, however, who don’t realize that Yuuri speaks such good English. He has a long history of letting others–his coaches, Viktor, Phichit–speak for him, and many people assume that this is because he doesn’t speak English well. Of course, the truth is that Yuuri just doesn’t want to talk to the press. 

Yuuri is perfectly happy to let them think he’s not fluent–and even encourages this misconception by bowing-and-nodding his way through crowds of reporters.

Sometimes, when he’s caught by a reporter and has to say something, he deliberately says something to Viktor in Japanese, who then translates it into something more palatable than what he actually said.

“Tell her my legs feel like they’re going to fall off and I want to go the fuck home, Viktor.”

“Yuuri’s very tired right now! We’ll answer questions at the presser tomorrow, thank you!”

(This has gotten them in trouble a few times. Yuuri’s Japanese is difficult to understand for even a native speaker, unless that speaker also comes from Kyushu, but Yuuri receives a very cross Skype call from his mother after a press interview during which the microphone picked up Yuuri telling Viktor to tell a reporter that his toupee looked like a bird had made its nest on top of his head. Toshiya was in the background of this Skype call, trying to look stern and failing because he kept having to look off into the distance and push down his laughter. Mari wasn’t even trying–Yuuri could hear her laughter from the kitchen.)

Yuuri’s Viktor Nikiforov Obsessed Ass took a Russian minor in college. He’s conversational in Russian by the time Viktor drops into his life, and his fluency only increases from there. 

It gets to the point where Yuuri and Viktor flip semi-randomly between Japanese and Russian. This is 50% because they don’t even notice themselves doing it anymore, and 50% because neither of them likes their marriage being surrounded by microphones and cameras 24/7.

Of course, there are large teams of dedicated fan translators who have made it their solemn duty to figure out what it is that Yuuri and Viktor are muttering about in the kiss-and-cry, because sometimes it’s boring stuff (Technical things, groceries, Makkachin’s next vet appointment) but sometimes it’s things like “I’m going to eat a whole cheesecake when this competition is done and you can’t stop me” / ”I’ll watch you.” 

“Who on earth has this much time on their hands?” Yuuri mutters to himself, when someone sends him a link to an archive of translations, and Viktor just makes a vague noise and keeps scrolling.

Commissioner Gordon always carries candy and breakfast bars; his coat pockets are deep, sometimes Cass can score 2 chocolate chip breakfast bars if she gives Gordon a hug. The second Robin liked lifesavers, and oddly enough that seems to be Red Hood’s kryptonite too; the third Robin, now Red Robin, prefers chocolate so Gordon hands over a Reese’s cup in thanks for intel on who robbed that bank on Monday. Red Robin eats it while mapping out his theory for Gordon to understand, mumbling around the peanut butter chocolatey goodness. The first Robin, now going by Nightwing, is rare to see these days but Gordon still carries gummy worms in case he shows up; Spoiler swings by, hyper as always, and Gordon has already dug out a pack of Skittles and three breakfast bars. The newest Robin, little devil that he is, can be placated with a a pack of Runts that he begrudgingly shares with whatever sibling he’s on good terms with that night; Batman doesnt accept anything.

There was a time where Gordon, young and unawares, didn’t carry candy and breakfast bars; not until one night a boy was brought into the precinct, in shock and alone and grieving, clutching a bloody suit jacket way too big to be his, and Gordon poured four dollars into the vending machine for a pack of poptarts and 3 different types of candy. Anything to offer comfort and make the boy feel less alone…

Batman may not accept anything, but whenever Gordon sees Bruce he’s always tempted to ask if he still likes jawbreakers.

Exploring in Colorado

(With reference to this post here)

Required supplies:

  • Water
  • more than that.
  • I’m not kidding people die of dehydration more than anything else I’m talking 2 liters minimum.
  • snacks
  • first-aid and survival kit including after-bite, splint supplies and emergency signalling devices, and a thermal blanket.  I am absolutely not kidding people get lost a mile from the road and die of exposure.
  • Map, your phone won’t work more than a mile from city limits.
  • change of socks.
  • something iron.
  • an offering or three.  you might not need any, you might need all of them.

Etiquette:

  • Always close any gate you open. Even if the fence around it is gone.  Both from a spiritual perspective and becuase there’s a nonzero chance the farm isn’t abandoned and the livestock is lurking in the scrub.
  • Cattle will stare at you.  As long as they’re on the other side of the fence or river or ditch it’s fine.  If there’s no barrier you need to leave.  Range cattle fight coyotes and cougar and the worst of winter and don’t give a single fuck about you.
  • That’s not lore Range Cattle will fucking kill you.
  • Never approach any horse, but especially the ones without humans.  They’re either fae or feral and the odds of them eating your hands are about the same.
  • Drink your water.
  • There are Others in Colorado, but the relationship is not nearly so adversarial out here.  They’re like your neighbors but only sometimes corporeal.  Mind your manners and obey any posted signage and you’ll be fine.
  • posted signage includes trees fallen across paths or washed-out sections of trail (trail closed), bits of dead animal on stumps or fence posts (occupied, fuck off) and the smell of urine (Mountain lion or bear turn right the fuck around)
  • Don’t eat anything you find there unless you brought a permit for it with you.  Anyone who says you can forage on public land is a liar and going to get their ass poisoned or cursed.
  • If you did bring a permit, leave an offering anyway.  The Law of Man is not the same as The Law of Mountains and you need to pay taxes in both.
  • Salute magpies, and any bird larger than them.
  • Everyone going uphill yields going to everyone going downhill, regardless of whether or not they’re human or real.
  • If you’re over 7000 feet and you seem to have picked up another member to your party, it’s just the mountain wondering what’s happening.  It’s like bird watching for them.  Be polite, pick up your trash and call the mountain whatever name it gives you.
  • Drink your fucking water.
  • If you feel like you’re being followed, especially at dusk, you absolutely turn around and tell whatever’s behind you you know they’re there.  This is becuase it’s almost certainly coyotes and they need to be told to fuck off.  If you can see what’s following you, face it and walk calmly backwards towards civilization until it goes away or you’re back in your car.  If you can’t see what it is, tell it you’re headed home now, then you can turn back around and proceed calmly back from whence you came.
  • Do not, under any circumstances, run.
  • things that run are meant to be chased and everything up here is faster than you are.
  • also you’ll fall off a fucking cliff.
  • If you get back to the car or edge of the wild space and still feel like you’re being followed, check your shoes, pockets and any baggage for extras and leave them.  If you’re STILL being followed, they’re being rude and you’re allowed to chuck a rock at them.
  • I’m not kidding about the water.
  • Don’t go into any “abandoned” buildings because 1. there’s a nonzero chance the building isn’t actually abandoned and then you have to explain to the rancher what the fuck you’re doing on their land 2. if it is abandoned it’s probably structurally unstable 3. the only things inside are rattlesnakes and tetanus.
  • Exception to above: if you hear thunder, you’re close enough to be struck. you can step inside then, but do not touch anything, especially the building it’self.
  • You are encouraged to walk out to abandoned tractors and plowshares and touch them.  Don’t move them but stop to say hi and have some water.
  • If you find human remains, don’t panic.  If they’re out there, they wanted to be found.  Write down (you won’t be able to remember later, trust me) where you found them and inform the park service/police as soon as possible.
  • Drink your water.

(Tip Jar)

I wish I knew the right words to say when it came down to writing about someone who makes you feel like flowers are growing inside of your chest. I wish I knew how to explain the way you make me feel when it’s two in the morning and we’re both laughing over something that probably wasn’t even that funny but to other people, our laughs make it seem like it was the world. I wish I knew how to tell people just how really beautiful you are, because when you are there, whether you’re laying down or pacing back and fourth, talking about the things that excite you the most, or just about anything in general that makes you happy, your eyes hold a certain kind of light beneath them that makes me want to never look away. Or when you laugh, my god, when you laugh, I never want it to stop because you do this thing where you tilt your head back and cover your mouth at the last moment after you already been so loud, shaking your head and every single time, I’d think, I wouldn’t mind hearing you laugh for the rest of my life. And when you yell, which is very rare, is scary because you can be there, veins standing at attention and I’d still think you’re the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on, even if I’m driving you insane. Don’t worry though, you drive me insane too. And I wish I knew how to explain the way my hands shake when I think about losing you, or the way my chest tightens to the thought of you being with someone else who isn’t me, because it messes with my mind sometimes and I get fustrated, because only I want to know your favorite book to the way you hate wearing that poka dot shirt, or how you eat when you’re nervous and can’t seem to stop making a mess. But you always been a messy eater so I don’t mind. I fell in love with you and although you are not perfect because you do have your moments, I promise I will love you again and again and again because I am not perfect either but if I am here, holding my heart out to you, and you are there, doing the same, I swear we both can be non-perfect messes together. And I’m trying not to be too cheesy here, because you always did say I buttered you up too much so for now I’ll leave it off with an I love you and an I’ll love you forever until my very last breath and an I am so lucky you decided to choose me.
—  A.M// to jake, maybe loving you isn’t so bad after all.

23. Each house acted differently at meal times:

Hufflepuff:

  • Before anybody eats they all pass around the food
  • Everybody has a full plate before anybody starts
  • Most likely to try and feed animals under the table
  • Most memorable incident of this was when the teachers found three generations of rabbits hiding under the table (the Niffler was a close second)

Ravenclaw:

  • There are some kids reading while they eat but there’s just as many talking with each other
  • Once a week they make a point of having a meal from a different part of the world (ex Chinese food one week, lobster the next, bison the week after)
  • Ravenclaws pop in and out of the kitchen all week making suggestions to the house elves (who enjoy the challenge and always come up with a feast)
  • A few items have even been added to the regular menu this way (there was almost a riot over the beignets from the other houses trying to snatch them)

Gryffindor:

  • By far the loudest house in the hall, with everybody shouting over one another and grabbing food
  • Whenever anybody has a birthday in their house they make sure to sing “Happy Birthday” for them (at the top of their lungs, of course)
  • Birthday kid has to walk down the centre of the table (and try to avoid getting tripped)
  • Everybody learns that not all Gryffindors are good at singing, but not for lack of effort

Slytherin:

  • Polite table manners, but heaven help you if you take food off somebody’s plate, they see that as a grave insult
  • Slytherin spends all year preparing for one day to change their routine and confuse everybody (they keep changing it every year, to keep people on their toes)
  • Sometimes they all speak a different language for the meal, sometimes they communicate with hand signals without words, sometimes they all levitate everything and eat their meal while slowly floating in the air
  • One year this got so out of hand that an over enthusiastic student set the Great Hall on fire (to this day nobody knows which one it was as Slytherins never snitch on a fellow snake, so the entire house got detention)

submitted by @theshadowedqueen82