sometimes there are droughts

Dear people who are considering buying plants:

There is no such thing as a “no care” plant. They ALL require at least SOME effort on your part to make sure they don’t die.

Air plants do not survive on air. They survive on humidity. Your house is likely not humid enough for them. You’re gonna need to help a plant out sometimes.

“Drought tolerant” plants and “low water” plants are not “NO water” plants. Water them deeply and space the waterings out to encourage deep root growth. That’s right, you’re gonna need to help a plant out sometimes.

Any plant can develop disease or pest problems. Check ‘em out from time to time and make note of anything unusual. The fixes for plant problems are usually pretty inexpensive if you catch them early (or do your research on how to care for them in the first place, but yes, you’re gonna need to help a plant out sometimes.

Allowance use

Alright my dolls, you locked that SD and started getting that money, what y'all gonna do with it?

-don’t even think about spending the whole amount. I mean NO. No matter if you are sure that’s a steel deal you got yourself, remember your daddy can leave you any time. So -

-always take some of your allowance and stack it like it doesn’t exist, literally, DEAD, burnt. Have your own little rainy day trust fund, it can be your childhood piggy bank, I don’t care as long as those paper bills aren’t spent.
Why?
You are in a great position now yet how you gonna know what tomorrow can bring you? Maybe you will be in drought for weeks sometimes a month or more. Always be prepared.

-don’t get into that terminator spending mode as soon as those hands feel the paper. Do you really need them Chanel bags and Loubies? If you are really craving for it make your SD get em for you. But honestly, shoe/bag/clothes shopping will make you happy for a while, a car or a house/apartment shopping would make you a bit more permanently happy ? These are big goals I know however aren’t unreasonable and aren’t something so not possible to reach.

-first take care of your bills/rent/tuition/food supply, COVER your basic needs for the month, SAVE the rest. You would be amazed by the sum if you counted all of them bills spent on cute little things you bought yourself from sugaring.

-Keep the receipts and sum it up in the end of a month, if you aren’t going to keep track of your money who will? God? No.

-set up some bigger goals that you plan on reaching from sugaring. It’s maybe paying off that student loan, signing up for masters degree, saving up for your own place, investing in stocks or a small start up of your own. You name it. But I’m sure there must be something more valuable to you than the shopping sprees. Tend to be more friendly to your future.

-I saw a movie few months back, and there was this scene where a bodyguard of a rich guy asks these SBs hanging in the mansion how are they investing their money? What they all said-shoes and bags. And then he spilled the basic truth, What y'all gonna do with them shoes and bags in few years? Mr X will replace you all with them younger bitches and then what? You gonna live in ya shoes? Damn. Opened my eyes. You ain’t gonna be sugaring forever.

-if you HAVE a vanilla job, don’t even dream about leaving/quitting! NO. No matter what or how good your SD is. No matter what he promises to you no matter how much money he gives you. THAT is NOT your PERMANENT INCOME. Allowance is your little/big lottery ticket you are getting every month/week. Treat it like one. It CAN be a losing one just from next time.

-be a HOE but a smart HOE. Always mention to these SDs your actual goals for your future, he is more likely to spend and help ya out with that education/business venture for example than he’ll be interested in spending on some flashy superficial stuff. I’ve learned that hard way.

-think about the way you get your allowance (wire transfer, pay pal, cheque etc) this does vary on a country you live in but CASH will always be the good old almighty cash.

-if he gives you a card, don’t buy everything you see! Take cash from ATMs and stack it. If that card is really at your disposal use it SMART. Pay your groceries with it, bills if possible, replace a thing in your home, help out your family if you are able. But don’t go on a crazy mall tour. Your SD won’t really give a damn how you used it, moreover you can earn bonus points if he notices you are spending it smart.

-I’m not saying that you should not go shopping eventually but be smart about it. Keep inventory of your wardrobe, do supply/demand chart. Do your supply renewal every 3 or 6 months. PLANNING is the mother of SPENDING. If you take care of your wardrobe it will always look fresh and new. Respect it. Remember- your bomb pussy earned that!

-you have stuff in your closet you haven’t worn a year? Great. Sell it online. It will clear up your space and get you some extra $$$.

-another tip on saving- don’t necessarily go all the time to beauty salons (if it’s not something mandatory you can’t do yourself), take some time and do your own mani/pedi, if you can style your hair (there’s some new brushes that literally do the straightening for you while using it, if I find a link I’ll post it) learn to do your own makeup. Don’t buy all the most expensive beauty products all the time, there are cheaper ones which are also good. Take note: BRAND sells the product. So don’t be a victim of someone’s successful advertising. Just because it’s a Dior cream it’s why you need to own it?

-stack as many SDs as possible, short time ones, regular ones, it means MORE money for your wallet.

-don’t show off, don’t bring that negativity out from people. It’s still bad energy and why would you possibly want to make yourself a problem or an unpleasant situation? E.g. Outing you to your friends family coworkers etc, list has no end. You DO NOT have to impress anyone! You live in your OWN skin NOT in other peoples EYES!

-if you can’t keep track of your finances/spendings hire an accountant, it will help you big time!

-take advantage of the sales when you are getting your food/wardrobe or whatever

-don’t be lazy and go to the restaurants all the time! LEARN how to cook if you don’t already know. I’m aware how delicious that home delivery is but the price of a single order could maybe cover more meals if you went to the supermarket. It’s ok occasionally ordering food/going out to eat but think how much you can save up just by cooking yourself.

-be bills and environmental friendly, which means that you don’t need to have all of your lights in the home ON all the time, take your charger out when finished charging your phone/computer, don’t leave your desktop running all day/night or on sleep mode. Same applies to your tv. Take showers instead of filling up the tub. You will be amazed how much all of that can reduce your monthly expenses! Now sum that up for a year! Oh, yes.

-instead of paying for a crazy expensive gym, go out for a run, work out at home/in nature, don’t be lazy and look up YouTube tutorials for different workouts that don’t include gym.

-use public transport whenever you can instead of taxis/uber/your own car (if you own one), take a bicycle if you can, it will do magic to your body and your bank account.

-learn the difference between your NEEDS and DESIRES. Your desire can be your worst enemy if you can’t control it.

-don’t hoard food! Do your supply AD HOC (when necessary).

-make list of all monthly expenses you have, write PROs and CONs for each. Ask yourself do you really need it every month? Cut all unnecessary things off that list.

-get a vanilla job if you already don’t have one!

Combine some of these tips and do good for yourself, doesn’t necessarily mean you have to follow up to the point rather customize it to your own convenience!

Be a smart Hoe with your money.

Tbh I don’t get the whole hype about living in California. Like, Texas and Florida stay warmer than California year round; they’re A LOT cheaper to live in (especially Texas), they have gulf coast beaches, they don’t have an eternal drought (west Texas does have a drought sometimes, but it’s also not that populated out there), you can live in big cities like Houston, San Antonio, and Miami; or you can live in suburbs and rural areas, and there’re no earthquakes.

HP House Aesthetics
  • Gryffindor: paint splatters, bruises, beat up Converse, worn out t-shirts, fighting bullies, permanent sweat stains, scrapes, dirty pick-up trucks, lazy Saturday afternoons, wrestling with your dog, the smell of fresh cut grass, unintentional staring at pretty girls, the taste of blood in your mouth after a punch, the sharp taste of cinnamon, the smell of burning wood, holding the door open for someone, loud music, desperately wanting to be remembered, bright and colourful tattoos, boisterously stubborn, dirty jokes, jarring hugs that make your heart happy, chocolate chip cookies, rough neck kisses, grocery store raids at 2AM, loud and reverberating and body-shaking anger, "love is unpredictable, it's that fiery feeling in your soul when you realize that you've chosen to protect someone and fight for them above all else. love is freeing."
  • Slytherin: the smell of freshly trimmed trees, the crunch of fresh snow underfoot, running through the forest, truth or dare, thunderstorms, lingering kisses, protecting friends and family, sharp retorts, proving to people who have failed you that you don't need them, driving fast with the windows down, close-knit friend groups, action and drama movies, long walks on the beach at night, hugging someone tightly after not seeing them for months, peppermint & chocolate, fresh cologne, wanting to accomplish something meaningful, intense and passionate anger that brings a flood of tears, avoidance/dislike of change, knowing that failure is always an option but never ever choosing it, quietly stubborn, skipping classes to goof off and just take a break, constantly competitive, the way a brand new book smells, laughing so hard you can't breathe, "love is a choice and it can be hard to come by, but once the choice is made, there's no going back, you're in it for better or worse. love is a permanent cornerstone."
  • Hufflepuff: freshly baked muffins, warm sunlight on a cool afternoon, the ache deep in your muscles after working hard, hugging someone close whenever you see them, puns, pastel colors in a sketchbook, building sand castles till the waves knock them over, watching the sun set, kisses on the forehead, helping someone with their homework, a burning desire to make a difference in the world, calm and collected and righteous anger, running through fields, running up and hugging someone from behind, black and white movies, using your voice for the first time to say how you feel, defending your friends against the world, defiantly stubborn against a wrong doing, "love is a feeling, but it's not that warm fuzzy feeling; it's that turning in your chest that signifies a deeper emotional connection with someone than you've ever had before. love is understanding."
  • Ravenclaw: cool rain on a cloudy afternoon, witty jokes and puns, fruity lemonade, bike rides in the cool of the morning, sweet hugs when someone is upset/not feeling well, acting in a play, a kiss on the cheek, wanting to create something for the world, bright colors splashed on a canvas, laughing so hard you cry, painstakingly detailed book reports, chaotically organized bookshelves, excitement over the little things, the smell of old books, painfully silent anger that makes you want to yell, unfinished colourful crafts strewn about, constant daydreaming, unyielding stubbornness in every area of life, "love is like rain: when it rains it pours, and sometimes there's droughts. the clouds don't choose when they spill rain or not, they just do. love chooses you."
Aesthetics

Gryffindor
Paint splatters, bruises, beat up Converse, worn out t-shirts, fighting bullies, permanent sweat stains, scrapes, dirty pick-up trucks, lazy Saturday afternoons, wrestling with your dog, the smell of fresh cut grass, unintentional staring at pretty girls, the taste of blood in your mouth after a punch to face, the sharp taste of cinnamon, the smell of burning wood, holding the door open for someone, loud music, desperately wanting to be remembered, bright and colourful tattoos, boisterously stubborn, dirty jokes, jarring hugs that make your heart happy, chocolate chip cookies, rough neck kisses, grocery store raids at 2AM, loud and reverberating and body-shaking anger. 

Love is unpredictable, it’s that fiery feeling in your soul when you realize that you’ve chosen to protect someone and fight for them above all else.
Love is freeing.


Slytherin
The smell of freshly trimmed trees, the crunch of fresh snow underfoot, running through the forest, truth or dare, thunderstorms, lingering kisses, protecting friends and family, sharp retorts, proving to people who have failed you that you don’t need them, driving fast with the windows down, close-knit friend groups, action and drama movies, long walks on the beach at night, hugging someone tightly after not seeing them for months, peppermint & chocolate, fresh cologne, wanting to accomplish something meaningful, intense and passionate anger that brings a flood of tears, avoidance/dislike of change, knowing that failure is always an option but never ever choosing it, quietly stubborn, skipping classes to goof off and just take a break, constantly competitive, the way a brand new book smells, laughing so hard you can’t breathe.

Love is a choice and it can be hard to come by, but once the choice is made, there’s no going back, you’re in it for the better and for the worst.
Love is a promise.


Hufflepuff
Freshly baked muffins, warm sunlight on a cool afternoon, the ache deep in your muscles after working hard, hugging someone close whenever you see them, puns, pastel colors in a sketchbook, building sand castles till the waves knock them over, watching the sun set, kisses on the forehead, helping someone with their homework, a burning desire to make a difference in the world, calm and collected, righteous anger, running through fields, running up and hugging someone from behind, black and white movies, using your voice for the first time to say how you feel, defending your friends against the world, defiantly stubborn against a wrong doing.

Love is a feeling, but it’s not that warm fuzzy feeling; it’s that turning in your chest that signifies a deeper emotional connection with someone than you’ve ever had before.
Love is understanding.


Ravenclaw
Cool rain on a cloudy afternoon, witty jokes, fruity lemonade, bike rides in the cool of the morning, sweet hugs when someone is upset, acting in a play, a kiss on the cheek, wanting to create something for the world, bright colors splashed on a canvas, laughing so hard you cry, painstakingly detailed book reports, chaotically organized bookshelves, excitement over the little things, the smell of old books, painfully silent anger that makes you want to yell, unfinished colourful crafts strewn about, constant daydreaming, unyielding stubbornness in every area of life.

Love is like rain: when it rains it pours, and sometimes there’s droughts. The clouds don’t choose when they spill rain or not, they just do. 
Love chooses you.

Finally!

Freylin has arrived in the drought of female bisexual/ lesbian representation. TV sometimes favours male bisexual/gay characters but for once, this season females take precedence.

And I’m enjoying the execution of the romance arc. Let me bask in the bisexual/lesbian beauty of this interracial ship for many years to come.

sometimes life is kinda complicated. like, your boyfriend is solving the california drought (is it fixed yet? i think?) and he’s also the lord of the wild because pan died but you can’t go farther than a few miles from your tree. because the tree is you and you are the tree. the bush. really, you’re sort of a bush. and you’re also a complete crybaby. what’s a bush gotta do to keep her plant from getting set on fire during demigod drama, huh? what’s a bush gotta do to get cuddled by her god-satyr-lord-of-the-wild-boyfriend? please reblog if you’re interested in roleplaying with juniper the nymph from rick riordan’s percy jackson series, written by emi!

1. We are not two pieces. There is no other half or better half. We are full, shinning, feeling, thinking and breathing experiences. My limbs do not melt into your own structure. My heart I do not stitch into your palms. We are separate and yet we are together. Do not fool yourself into thinking that you cannot be whole without someone else. We are built from our own stars and will find our way to each other without needing to combust into one.

2. I love myself the most. This does not mean I do not love others or you with every heartbeat, it just means that I have learned in life loving yourself is one of the most exhilarating ways to feel. In a world we are painted and pushed into boxes on how to be. The day you are able to run your fingers over your own skin, zip up your own dress, play with your own heart, calm your own heart is such a calming thing. So I will love you but it does not mean I will degrade that original spark for myself to make you feel better. Your compliments I will take without hesitation. My kisses without conditions. I will not wilt to grow in your garden.


3. There will be no muffling of my intensity. I love the color yellow. I love rain storms because they do not hold back. I will not mold myself for you. I want you to love every eyelash, every fingerprint, every snort giggle, every part of me. I will do the same for you. We may not see eye to eye on everything but when those things happen we will find ourselves chest down to the ground having staring contests to figure out what it feels like to swap bodies. So you don’t have to love yellow or rain storms or neon club signs or pancakes for breakfast and that is okay. You do not need to muffle your colors or weather patterns. Love can be mismatched socks and pizza with different toppings on each side. Love can be different. 


4. When I tell you about the others please know they are just part of my story. I keep all my ex-lovers in the bottom of jacket pockets or in the cabinets with my mugs or in jars. I carry the lessons and the love because every one I have loved so differently and I like to remember what each experience felt like. They do not compare with you because it would be like trying to argue the similarities between polkadots and stripes. They were my loves but you are my love.


5. I get sad sometimes. I spent a year in a drought with myself and it means sometimes the lost time catches up with me. You don’t need to fix the sad because no one can. It just is. You can feel yours with me and we can learn what it feels like to be puddles on the tough days. 


6.  If I can request one things from you that would be to never feel like you need to hide away. I know what it feels like to have the ceiling collapse, the flooring give out, to have everything crumble through your fingers. I’ve woken up covered in sand and sucked on lemons. I know the bad and it’s not something you need to push back. Let me see your bad. It does not scare me. I will not try to fix it or poke at it. We can sit with our sad and our bad and everything just as it is until the day we find it’s just us drinking coffee in the morning. Sound good?

—  things to tell my future lover 

♔ || нeadcanon_   ѕleep & nιgнтмareѕ

_______________________________________ ɹǝʞɹǝsɹǝq

Vlad is not fond of sleep, but due to his vessel there are times where he must and not stick to just creeping in shadows to conserve energy.  Times are when options to get blood are few and far between or even banned, it affects him both mentally and psychically-- like his hands  ,  a slowly disheveling look, or the vacancy in his eyes, exhaustion on his brow. He’s prone to lapse when tired. Sometimes it’s best to just sleep. On long droughts, he can be caught resting in his chair, or if truly asleep passed out in it or over his desk.  As one can imagine, a coffin would suffice best, but only out of his right mind. He rarely sleeps peacefully,regardless.

He suffers from terrible nightmares that blur the line between his realities and delusions. Berserker acknowledges them as dreams but doubts his own judgement from time to time and even concerns over his master seeing those horrors, or worse– being harmed by them. This is why he makes the player the scapegoat plush so that it may jump and sacrifice itself for them should anything try to hurt them in their sleep. These nightmares can range from Dracula -esque and all the myths’ monsters to twisted and skewed memories, including his own impalement, to even fears and shames. With Legend of Dracula active he can’t escape it, nor the sleep paralysis that grips him upon awakening when lying on his back. Even without a coffin, he hates sleeping on the bed.  The presence and anxiety is only worsened with his state of mind. It does not help that he sleeps during the day and awakens from those dark, haunted places to a darkened room in the evening.  If disturbed he tends to lurch or lash out depending on the type of dream. It is best to leave him be if he’s on his back as it could be quiet dangerous.  But after he wakes, he is often to be at his most low emotionally– vulnerable, wearied,  defeated

A letter to.

For the stereotype America creates of Africans. United Kingdom. Europe.

I am African. I am not black. My ancestors were not enslaved. I do not ride a camel to school; nor do we trade women for cattle.

I play derbouka. I also play the tbel (tambourine). My rhythms catch you. They make you move like an African. Like a Berber. Like an Arab.

Rai. Chaibi. Kabyle.

I might see desert for days. I also see buildings. Sky scrapers. Sand alongside concrete. Heat married to cold. Snowy mountains whiter than any you’ll see on a ‘white Christmas day’ in the UK. This snow sticks. People ski. In the middle of the Sahara people ski.

We have cooling rivers. Chelif river. Mazafran river. Seybouse river. Sometimes there are droughts. Sometimes there aren’t. Our rivers have history. From Roman rule. Saint Augustine was the bishop of Hippo Regius. That’s present day Annaba, Algeria.

Algerian Arabic. Darija. Classical Arabic. French. Spanish. English. Kabyle. M'zab. Chaouia. Tamazight of Blida. There’s even Algerian sign language. Take your pick.

Yes, I am African.

I paint henna on my hands. A little circle on the palm. It welcomes in the new moon. I also dip my fingers in henna. My feet. Sometimes hair. Men do it too. Yes, we’re African.

Our skin colour ranges. Depending on the sun. Depending on your roots. Who cares.

Chorba. Rechta. Merguez. Chakhchouka. Berkoukes. D'am. You can call the last one cous-cous. We have over fiver names for it anyway.

Sometimes I’ll wear an abaya. Sometimes I’ll wear a jeba. Melhfa. Gandoura. Or just a t-shirt and jeans. Yes, still African.

Muslim. Christian. Jew.

Roman rule. Islamic rule. Ottoman rule. French rule. Independence. Well, independence is always questionable.

I am African. I am not black. My ancestors were not enslaved. I do not ride a camel to school; nor do we trade women for cattle. 

Naila Missous. 

Love [luhv]:

Noun:
1. A paradox of sheer happiness and sheer pain, woven intricately into the soul and impossible to separate;
2. A condition of the heart that ties it securely to the heart of another, rendering it dependent on the presence of the other. Not always mutual, sometimes irreversible;
3. A flower that blossoms in the chest, feeds off saltwater, fear, and the light that twinkles in the eyes of another. Withers easily in drought, yet can sometimes survive the harshest conditions. Rare, and beautiful. Sometimes poisonous.

Verb:
1. To be a witness to another’s life, in all its glorious and mundane parts;
2. To listen to another’s stories, rants, and rambles, and to find joy in this;
3. To give of oneself, wholly and without hesitation;
4. To choose always the least selfish path, to think not of oneself;
5. To place one’s heart on a silver platter and accept the consequences;
6. To let go, even when it means losing everything.

—  Define “love.” // J.S.
the signs emotions as natural disasters
  • aries: sandstorm // strong and fatal, but can be forgiving and short term
  • taurus: hail // hits fast and hard, over just as soon as it began
  • gemini: volcano // great one second, ad the next, its exploding and destroying everything
  • cancer: earthquake // sometimes its nothing, sometimes it'll make everything crumble down
  • leo: drought // dry, empty, yet vital
  • virgo: epidemic // silent, deadly, gets into people and destroys them from the inside out, all at the cost of itself
  • libra: thunderstorm // leads to other disasters happening, quick and forgiving
  • scorpio: tsunami // dark, beautifully destructive, unpredictable, powerful, intense, mercilessly destroys everything in its wake
  • sagittarius: fire // alluring, untamable, destroys everything in its path
  • capricorn: tornado // starts as nothing, unpredictable, but undetectably turns into a force strong enough to fuck up everything you know.
  • aquarius: windstorm // runs on a mind of its own, effects everything low-key, can cause a beautiful breeze or a hurricane
  • pisces: flood // can be too much of a good thing, yet easily tamed
The First Day

Kind of a post ep but not really? More of a “between eps”. In any even I’ve finally broken my drought, kind of. Maybe sometime during the break over Christmas I might be able to finish the other 10 stories I have on my phone and in my notebook. I kid you not. There are at least 10 post eps I have half written or have jotted down plots/ideas for. This is just the first one I’ve been able to finish. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

When he walked into the hospital room that night he could immediately tell she was hiding something. To the outsider she probably looked fairly nonchalant. She could have probably even fooled Callen and Sam with that poker face of hers but not him.

He let it be for the moment, greeted her with a kiss and sat by her hip on the bed. He told her about his day, how Callen and Sam had wound up playing another game of one-on-one basketball and that without her there to team up with and challenge the partners, things had gotten ugly.

Keep reading

I recently floated the idea of a series detailing what I know about games writing (as much or as little as that may be) and people seemed keen on it, so I’m using this week’s Patreon funded Extra Thing to “pilot” it.

By “pilot” I meant that I will almost certainly continue, but I really really want your feedback! I want this to be as useful to you as I can possibly make it, so if, for example, there’s something you’d like me to discuss, feel free to ask.

I figured it was best to approach this roughly chronologically, so the first thing that you need to be able to write something is to know what it is that you want to write about. People ask me about this relatively often and it’s something that I struggle to answer because I have the opposite problem – too much to say, and I have to figure out what’s actually worth saying. But the process is similar, in that I highly recommend trial and error.

This is definitely going to be a theme of this series! I advocate so hard for just trying things out and seeing what comes of them. Ideas are partly inspiration, but they are also just practice like everything else. I certainly found it more difficult a year ago than I do now. (Again, this is true of almost everything.) Regardless, here are some tips that I have found useful.

  • Play games (or read books or do whatever it is you want to write about). This sounds ridiculously obvious (and it is) but sometimes I get into a drought because I’ve been busy and I start thinking oh my god I will never have another good idea in my life and then I actually play a game and I suddenly have all the ideas in the world. Play your games. It’s a great excuse.
  • Play your games with a sense of awareness. I’ll come back to this in a later installment, but this is, again, a skill that’s learned, but you’ve also definitely been doing it already. You know why you like your favourite game or character, though putting it into words might be tricky.
  • To that end, I recommend having some quiet time to reflect on what you want to say. When I was stuck on a plane with nothing to do last week, I took about 20-30 minutes to write a list of potential article topics, ending up with 55. (Many of them are bad ideas, but some of them are good!) I needed that time to be able to lay out things that had been stewing in my unconscious brain for a while. Walks are good for this, if you’re into that sort of thing.
  • You can take inspiration during these quiet times (and always) from non-games things. During the aforementioned plane time, I was listening to music and a lot of the ideas came from my mind wandering from that and figuring out how I could apply these other things I was thinking about to games. In general a lot of good games writing comes from applying outside knowledge/ideas.
  • Read. Read games writing you like, and read everything else.
  • Talk about things with your friends and other likeminded people! This is also great for motivation.
  • If in doubt, just write something. Something simple, like about your favourite character. Oftentimes ideas beget ideas.

cute date idea:

 we lay in bed all night with hot chocolate and ice cream, watching all our favorite movies. the next morning, we decide to sleep in. the world can wait a little while. things aren’t so important out there when it’s so nice and cozy, just the two of us.

it’s a week later. my stubble has gotten past the scratchy phase and now it’s like soft velcro when i press against your neck. your parents have called a dozen times. you point out that they’ve always told you to make good decisions, and right now that means ignoring them.

we’ve been here a month now. my little quirks are starting to annoy you after near-constant exposure. it’s no longer as cute that i blink too much, or that i get overexcited about everything. but we’re used to it here. it’s comfortable. amazon prime has been our only connection with the outside world. it brings us food. we are slowly but surely working our way through Netflix’s entire catalog.

we mark our calendar. it’s the first anniversary of our date, hot chocolate and ice cream. to celebrate, i consider walking five minutes down to the store to pick up some chocolate cappuccino ice cream (your favorite). we decide it’s too much of a risk. it’s a big world out there, and you can lose yourself in a heartbeat. Seamless does the hard stuff for us. our parents have given up calling. our friends still text every once in a while. i miss them, maybe. we should have people over some night, we say.

years pass. all the things that annoyed you about me have become endearing again, and the same goes for me. they’re like that japanese thing, wabi-sabi. the sublimity of a thing is in the ways which it does not quite manage to be perfect. like the way i can’t sleep unless i’m not touching anything. or the way you chew your food just a little too loud. or the way i can’t stop singing even when it’s driving you crazy. or how you keep saying you want me to teach you guitar, but never start. and each of those little things is like the bumps on a tree’s rings. it mars the perfect circle, but it tells the story: here was a fire, this year was flush with rain, this year a drought. sometimes these little bumps are all we have to tell each other apart. our imperfections.

we’ve lived our lives in my bedroom. we’ve watched nations rise and fall, stars turn in the sky, seasons cycle from green to white dozens of times. we’ve sacrificed things, sure. friendships, family, careers (remember when we had aspirations?), all for the comfort of cool sheets on warm skin. all for a night of hot chocolate and cold desserts. and our favorite movies, which we’ve entirely memorized, by now. some nights we don’t even watch them, we just recite line by line, playing every part, kissing when the big kiss comes. there’s no triumphant swell of the violins, but we hear it in our heads all the same, every time.

it’s been a good life. a life loved but not lived. if we went back and did it all again, would we choose to do the same?

probably not.

but it makes for a good story.

anonymous asked:

i have an extremely hard time being liked, no one wants to spend much time around me or is interested in knowing me, although I constantly express interest in everyone else; I'm so tired of being alone, do you have any suggestions where I don't have to squeeze myself into a likable mold?

Stop trying to be liked, just talk to people without stressing whether or not they’ll become your friend. 

Spend your time doing things you like and being places you love to go, friends will come. And they will come when you least expect it. Sometimes you just have to go through that friend drought until they randomly pour in.

I’m sorry if this doesn’t help :/