sometimes she reminds me so much of me though

REQUEST 126 ~ Love story

Warnings: none 

This is a female reader, i apologise in advance if that makes it harder to enjoy, i will try and work on making them gender neutral. 

Anything in italic is a flashback

Dan’s pov:

Tuesday, the one night of the week i spend chatting about the events of the world and the ones in my life. It’s always enjoyable to do as i get to feel closer to my audience. 

“Oh my god, is it true you have a girlfriend? asks someone in the chat, sorry i didn’t catch your user. I’m guessing you saw the photo that someone took.”

Earlier in the week the photo had been causing a shit storm on social media. It was shared by almost every account linked to the phandom, each with a different reaction. 

“From that reaction i’ll say you have. Ok to answer your question, yes i do have a girlfriend. in fact it was the girl whose hand i was holding in the photo.” I smiled and leaned back in my chair. 

Y/n, i hadn’t introduced her officially to the audience. We were oping to keep our relationship away from the public eye but i guess people are just too intrusive sometimes. However i guess there is no better time to reveal this. 

“How long have you been together?” I read out, picking one of the few questions that was appropriate to answer. 

“Oh, umm, i think it’s been a few months now. 10 maybe?” The chat went insane once again, mostly over how i managed to keep a secret relationship for that long. 

It definitely wasn’t the easiest thing to do, what with London being a big tourist attraction and viewers almost everywhere, but y/n understood, she made sure that when we were out together p.d.a was at a minimum. Even though she never shows it, i can’t help but feel it makes her upset having to pretend that nothing is between us. 

I glance back in the chat to find more questions, “How did you meet?” i smiled fondly as i remembered that day. 

“Well, i actually met y/n through a friend of mine and Phil’s. At first i honestly didn’t think much of her seeing as i hardly spoke to her all evening, but after a while things just clicked.” I smiled down into my lap thinking about how nervous i got when it came to asking her out. 

She sat across from me, taking sips from her drink. The bright lights of the restaurant where we had gathered amongst friends illuminated her face. She was mesmerising. The first time i had seen her she didn’t capture my eyes as much as now, but that was probably due to my lack of observation. 

“We’re just going over to the bar, we’ll be back in a minute.” Someone announced and walked away whilst being followed by everyone else at the table. 

I looked back and saw y/n still sitting there. “You not going?” i asked. 

She shook her head, “Nah, means having to get up and walk, and i’m way too comfortable. Plus don’t want to leave you on your own, unless you want that then i’ll go.” She started to move but i stopped her. 

“No, no it’s ok, i feel the same, walking is just not my favourite activity.” She giggled and smiled at me. 

I couldn’t control my own smile. “So Dan, we haven’t spent much time together.” 

“We haven’t. We should though. You do seem very nice.” 

“As do you. Sometime soon, when other people aren’t here.” 

I nodded and looked to see the group returning. “It’s a date.” 

“Honestly after i said that i thought she would have corrected me but she didn’t. Even after we met up again she didn’t say anything about it not being a date. In fact she has told me that she did class it as one.”

The door downstairs closed, reminding me that y/n was coming to stay over this evening. 

“One more question guys before i go. Are you happy with y/n?” 

I looked away and towards my phone, which displayed a picture of the both of us in an embrace. 

“Yes, i am. She honestly is one of the most incredible people i have met, she’s kind, caring and very passionate about a lot of things. Y/n makes each day feel like it’s worth living just so i can see her and be in her presence. I know i sound cheesy but it is the truth. I hope that she stays in my life for a long time. Ok now i’m done, see you next week!” I closed of the live show and sat back in my chair. 

Upon reflection i should have kept the issue quiet until i had discussed it with y/n but i’m glad they know just how much she means to me. 

I stood and headed in her direction to find her, she was stood chatting with Phil about something i couldn’t quite catch on to but once she saw me her smile grew. I pulled her into a cuddle and thanked who ever controls fate that i met her.

anonymous asked:

How do you and Kristen handle distance when you really miss each other?

Step 1- I put on our playlist or a YouTube video & go to my closet.
Step 2- I put on kristen’s shirt, sweatshirt and sweatpants.
Step 3- I spray them all with her perfume.
Step 4- I take both my distance bracelet off and my promise ring & squeeze them tight.
Step 5- I take out our scrapbook, our poem books and a book she wrote for me and even though I read all of them 100 times and I know exactly word for word what’s written on every single page & I sit on my bed and smile.
Step 6- I remind myself how lucky I am to have somebody that makes saying goodbye so damn difficult.
Step 7- sometimes when that doesn’t help I need to call her and the minute I hear her voice, it reassures me. I look at her and say to myself aha yap that’s why missing her hurts so much, look at her, look how special this beautiful angel is.

Say You Won’t Let Go - Jughead Jones

Request: I just read your Happier imagine and I thought it was great! Can you do a Jughead imagine based on the song Say You Won’t Let Go by James Arthur thank you 

Thank you! I had fun brainstorming this one, i feel like it turned out kind of shit tho. I’m just not confident in myself at all recently, i’m sorry if it’s not what you were looking for :) Hope you enjoy it though <3


Words: 3,014

Warnings: Swear or two :3 ALSO NOT PROOFREAD, DON’T HATE ME.

Jughead watched from the sidelines, behind a wired fence as the constructions workers flooded the grounds. He had tried hard to save the Twilight Drive In but at the end of the day, it hadn’t paid off and he had pretty much lost everything. With his bag slung carelessly around his shoulder, he walked away from the feeling of comfort and safety, his home.

He found himself sitting in a lonesome booth at Pop’s, trying to pull through the lowest moment he had suffered in a long time. He was pretty much having a existential crisis. Where would he go? Could he tell anybody? Would Jellybean ever be able to come home?

“You look even more depressed than you usually do,” Veronica Lodge slid into the opposite side of the booth out of nowhere, sundae in hand. “Is it about the Drive In?”

A part of Jughead wanted to get up and leave, but he knew she would keep persisting and he was tired of closing himself off, so he decided to open up… slightly.

“It just… it meant a lot to me Ronnie. I’m trying to carry a lot of cooped up stress on my shoulders and this on top just hasn’t exactly helped,” He sighed, rubbing his face. Veronica slid her sundae across the table, over to him, knowing that if she were to cheer him up, food would be the place to start.

“You sound like you need a break, something refreshing, something new,” She tapped the table, her sharp nails creating a loud drum beat. Suddenly she squealed, clasping her hands together with delight, which caused Jughead to look at her warily.

“What do you have in mind?” He groaned, anticipating the worst as she shuffled around excitedly.

“Clubbing!” She proposed and the groaning intensified. “Hear me out, you can just sit at the side, with a drink and your phone doing whatever the hell you want to do. Fresh environment, fresh faces, who knows what could happen? It’s exciting, live a little!” Veronica was already texting Josie and co, spreading the word.

“I wouldn’t exactly call a club, surrounded by sweaty, tight bodies ‘fresh’, would you?” Jughead retorted, but Veronica wasn’t listening.

“Josie, Kevin, Joaquin, Reg- actually maybe not Reggie, you two aren’t exactly the best of friends,” This caused Jughead to scoff, as Veronica continued to scroll through her contacts list. There was no way in hell, Jughead Jones was going clubbing.

“So how the hell did you get Jughead Jones to go clubbing?” Kevin whispered to Veronica, as they stood in the queue outside Riverdale’s most infamous new club, “Flash”. Jughead stood in front of them, wearing a grey hoodie with some black jeans, his usual beanie still in place.

“Let’s just say, that boy is Scooby Doo. Pop’s burgers are his scooby snacks,” Veronica smirked smugly, ignoring the fact that Jughead looked more uncomfortable then he’d been when he first met Nana Blossom.

There was no way he was going to enjoy this evening.

Believe it or not, he found a way to enjoy his evening. Veronica and her entourage immediately headed for the dance floor, but Jughead had decided to go straight for the bar. He watched the TV in the corner, showcasing sports highlights from the day and general news, whilst absentmindedly ordering more and more drinks as the night went on. Jughead was one of those drinkers where he seemed more emotional, more open but at the same time more confident. He decided he would try and find his friends on the dance floor.

The club was dimly lit, and he was already stumbling down the stairs. He ended up tripping on the last step, flying forward until someone caught his arms, steadying him.

“Hey watch it, who do you th-” You paused.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the boy in front of you. He grinned at your laughter and you pulled him out of the middle of the crowd of grinding bodies, to the side, where the two of you sat down in an empty booth. Neither of you knew why, but you were just going with the flow for once.

“You have a really nice laugh,” Jughead smiled once your laughing fit had died down. You were glad the club was dark, as the blush on your face wasn’t as evident.

“Thanks, you too I guess,” You reached into your purse for a bottle of water, chugging half of it down before sliding it across the table to him and gesturing for him to drink. He nodded, as a silent way of saying thanks. “My name’s (Y/N),” You giggled again, sticking your hand out for him to shake. He did so, smiling brightly.

“Jughead,” He responded. You looked at him, puzzled.

“I may be drunk but did you just say Jughead?” You raised an eyebrow skeptically, and Jughead laughed once more, nodding his head erratically which caused you to burst into another fit of giggles. Your laughter sent butterflies swarming through his stomach, and it seemed so cliche but your smile seemed to light up the darkness of your surroundings. 

“Hey, Drughead,” You paused, waiting for his reaction to his new nickname and his laughter stopped as he gave you a playful glare. “Wanna dance?” You bit your lip, nodding your head towards the dance floor, as the speakers blasted out an upbeat song. 

“I can’t really dance,” Jughead scratched his neck awkwardly and you rolled your eyes, climbing out of the booth. His heart felt heavy all of the sudden with the thought of you leaving him, but suddenly, you grabbed his hands and pulled him along with you.

“Nonsense my amigo, just let loose and move around, it’s not rocket science. We’ll go for a round of drinks after, on me, I promise,” You pouted with the puppy dog eyes, which weren’t that effective considering Jughead couldn’t really see them, but he reluctantly gave in, shaking his head at you as you excitedly dragged him towards the centre of the club.

“Who’s idea was this?” You moaned, as another load of vomit blurted from your mouth and into the toilet. You were currently in one of the club’s empty bathroom cubicles, throwing up the contents of whatever you had drunk into a dirty toilet. Jughead, being a gentleman, had come with you and helped you hold your hair back as you continued to puke.

“Yours,” Jughead sighed, cringing at the odour that the sick-filled toilet was now giving off. 

“Oh yeah,” You chuckled before another round of sick came, causing Jughead to shield his eyes. This went on for another 10 minutes or so.

“Geez, I’m sorry Jughead, this probably wasn’t how you were planning to spend your evening,” You looked down at the floor, embarrassed and almost ashamed. You wiped your mouth with some baby wipes that you had stored in advance in your purse, feeling guilty and selfish.

Jughead shook his head with a laugh and smiled at you. “It’s been a lot more eventful and… interesting than I planned. But that’s not a bad thing.”

A rosy blush crept its way onto your cheeks, and you timidly smiled at the floor. When you looked back up, he was staring at you intensely, which caused your blush to deepen. You were about to ask him if anything was wrong, before he interrupted you.

“I’m homeless,” He suddenly confessed, still staring at you. There was a pause.

“Pardon?” You mumbled in return, not sure if you had heard him clearly.

“I’m homeless. I don’t want to live with my Dad because he has an alcohol addiction and drove my family away from home. That included my little sister, who was pretty much my partner in crime. We spent every day together, playing spies and detectives, reading comics, playing video games or doing whatever we could to pass the time. Sometimes we would just sit and talk in my room, with music playing in the background and she would parade around in my beanie, doing impressions of me. She was only 7, she’s 10 though now. We would hide in the trunk of our car so that we didn’t have to pay as much to get into the Drive In, and we would spend so much time just watching movies together. When they left, I went to live in the Drive In, it reminded me of her. But now they’re tearing it down to build God knows what. They’re taking away the last piece I have of my sister that’s here in Riverdale and now I have nowhere to go and I don’t know what to do an-” Jughead suddenly realised he was releasing the secrets that had been weighing him down for so long, to a total stranger… in a toilet cubicle.

He’d only known you for a few hours and he’d just given you the short version of his life story. How could he trust someone so foreign like this? Was it just the drink talking? Jughead wasn’t sure.

You sat there, mouth agape, trying to comprehend his rushed words. You opened your mouth several times to speak, but you couldn’t seem to form proper words. Jughead’s intense stare remained, as he awaited your reaction. You shuffled along the floor, closer to him before smiling up at him, reassuringly. 

“Your sister, she sounds like a lovely girl,” You watched as his eyes suddenly sparkled. A wave of sobriety hit him like a brick, as he stared at you in this moment. He felt an odd desire to spend every day with you, to talk to you, to get to know you, to understand you. To hold your hand and spontaneously kiss you. To promise he would always be there for you… to marry you. But that’s what love is… right? The feeling of wanting to be with someone forever. These days, love didn’t always last long. But that first feeling, that first, powerful touch. You wanted to spend the rest of your days at the side of that person.

But this wasn’t love… right? He’d only known you for a few hours. No, it couldn’t be love… yet. 

“She is,” He whispered, before reaching forward and pulling you closer to his chest, into a tight embrace. He’d never been like this with anyone before, let alone a practical stranger. You willingly fell into his arms. resting your head on his shoulder. Suddenly, you began laughing again, pulling back to stare at him.

“Hey, hey. Your life is shit, you should stay at mine considering you’re homeless and shit. Man that sucks,” You gave an exaggerated pout and Jughead rolled his eyes with a sad chuckle.

“I think that’s the drink talking (Y/N), I’ll walk you home okay?” He stood up, holding out his hands to pull you off of the floor. 

“But where will you go?” You crossed your arms, eyes laced with true concern.

“I’ve got some friends that won’t mind me couch surfing for the night,” He assured you but your eyebrow raise was clearly skeptical. “Trust me.”

He wouldn’t let you object, despite your stubborn nature, as he pulled you of the club. He held your hand, almost protectively, as he walked you home. Little did he realise that when you left the club, Veronica Lodge was busy trying to figure out the name of the ‘mysterious girl’ that Jughead had left with, so she could come up with a ship name.

You directed Jughead towards your house and as you walked up the drive, you planted a soft but lingering kiss on his cheek, before slipping something in his pocket. You quickly rushed to your front door, turning around to wave him goodbye before rushing inside.

Jughead stayed there for a while, embracing the ghost of your lips on his cheek. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he left, before pausing. He took out a crumpled napkin, that had been at the bar of the club. On the napkin, scribbled messily in black sharpie, was a phone number along with the message; Seeya around Drughead.

He looked up to the window of your bedroom, only to see you giddily smiling at him. He smirked up at you, before confidently strutting down the street.

It just seemed to keep going forward from there. Jughead had texted you the second he got home, and you weren’t going to make him wait for a reply. Who cares if you came off as eager, this was the first guy that you had met whilst you were out for the night who hadn’t come off as a complete douchebag.

Jughead however, was new to this. He didn’t know what he was doing and was afraid you only liked him because you were in the heat of the moment or drunk. So he was less frequent with the texts, attempting to play it cool. He didn’t exactly want to pour his soul out over text, on how he felt that you were beautiful and funny and made him feel confident and worth something. Slowly though, over time his dorky attitude let loose and it honestly made you love him more.

You too, had felt something that night at the club. You too, believed it was in the heat of the moment. But you didn’t want to let that moment go. You had spent the past 8 months building up your relationship with Jughead, and now you truly begun to feel the extent of what you felt that night. You spent hours on end in Pop’s. Talking about Jellybean, school, his Dad. He finally had someone to act as his own diary, someone who he could just tell everything about. It felt so nice to let the secrets, that had been acting as weights on his shoulders, go.

There was one day in Pop’s where you were talking about your own family. Describing your younger brother’s hobbies and annoying habits as if they were the most interesting things in the world. He loved the way that your hands would make big gestures, and your facial expressions would deliver a variety of emotions to go along with your story. This made sense, as you had told him before about how badly you wanted to be an actress. Sometimes, he would run lines with you or listen to you deliver a monologue. You loved doing something that you loved with him, and would even sometimes print a script off of the internet and lie it was for an audition, when you really just wanted to read and act with him.

Jughead’s attention was not focused currently on your story though. He was thinking about the two of you, your future. He wanted to ask you out, make it romantic, something special that the two of you would never forget. From there you would never stop loving each other, you’d have children, live together in a modern apartment. He would work as a novelist whilst you worked as an actress. He contemplated marriage, but he was scared of the idea. He had always wanted to avoid something like marriage. His parents were living proof that marriage wasn’t a happy ever after written in stone. But the two of you weren’t your parents. You were different.

He took in your features. You were so beautiful to him. Every part. Your flaws were no different to your redeeming qualities, in that they made Jughead just love you more. Even as you got older, you would age gracefully, never losing that beauty that you possessed. Those passionate eyes that sparkled whenever you told your stories or took on a character. Your eyes said a million words with just one blink. Your kids would have those eyes, your nose too. Jughead’s moles. They would all look beautiful, just like you did. Jughead would wake up before you, so he could make you breakfast in bed. You would be awake by this point though because the kids would be jumping on your bed, like they did in the movies, chanting your name. He would tell the kids to go get dressed for school, breakfast tray in hand, delivered fresh along with a sweet kiss on your head. It would all come back to that night.

Jughead never thought he’d say this but, thank god for the stubborn Veronica Lodge. Speaking of Veronica, she was the most hardcore shipper of your relationship ever, and was practically the paparazzi whenever you two were seen in public at school or at Pop’s. 

When you finally became a couple, it’s not like the two of you would never have arguments. You did of course. Who would you be if you didn’t have arguments? They were mostly over stupid, careless little things though or momentary disagreements. Sometimes he wouldn’t feel like he was good enough for you, sometimes it would be the other way round. Any arguments, big or small, would always end in a cuddle and movie session. When they passed though, your relationship came back, stronger and tougher than it had been before and that’s what mattered. You weren’t going to let something small escalate and hurt the two of you. Nothing was worth that.

You did get married one day. You defied standards and stayed together for as long as you could, sticking to your marriage vows, living your lives to the fullest as mature adults.

Or at least you would of. If only…

“Hey watch it, who do you thi-” You paused.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the boy in front of you. He stiffened. You looked so beautiful, somehow lighting up the dimly lit club with your smile. He awkwardly broke apart. Nope, this isn’t what he wanted. He was already mildly drunk and he hated it. It reminded him of his Dad. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He stepped back abruptly, bumping into another couple. He looked to the floor, shoving past you as he made his way out of the club, leaving you standing by the stairs, bewildered.

If only…

Whoops I decided to be a bitch ahahaha sorry not sorry, if you want to blame someone, blame @kingpendleton and @betty-coopers-number-one-stan with their surprise plot twisty angsty ending thingies, I had them in mind whilst making this. 

The ending was also an excuse as to why the middle part made no sense I guess, and how they were ‘in love’ so quick.


A slice of forever: pub talk


Serena glanced up from her notebook, in which she’d been scribbling ideas and crossing things out, to see Ric sitting himself next to her.
“Hi Ric,” she smiled.

“Busy?” He nodded at the notebook.

“Just wedding stuff,” she flipped it closed and tried to stow it in her bag, but he was too quick for her and grabbed it.

Keep reading

New Chapter Posted of “Trust” + Clip!

Chapter 8: Bound

Just what it sounds like. ;) Also fulfills #15 of the kiss meme, A kiss because I have literally been watching you all night and can’t take any more, requested by @ibonekoen. Thank you again, so very much, for your patience. I hope you like this!

More below the cut!

Keep reading

Haven’t really been feeling my self the past few days. Two days ago was my moms birthday. When I realized what the date was my depression hit my hard like a ton of bricks. She’s been gone for 7 years this November. It doesn’t feel like she’s been gone that long. Missing her reminded me of how much I miss my family as well. Even though we live so close to one another, I barely see them. I haven’t really seen my dad since I moved out on my own 4 years ago. I feel so very alone sometimes. Sometimes I feel as if I’m better off just disappearing. They’d never notice me gone.

This one might just be me

Leiftan: So, according to Ykhar, I remind you of a musician from your world.

Gardienne: O-oh, she told you that? Haha. Well, yes. He’s a famous musician, though he’s an actor, too. Actually, your style reminds me of one of his famous movie roles.

Leiftan: Movie?

Gardienne: Ah, nevermind. Your personalities are a bit opposite, anyway.

Leiftan: Ha, okay. That’s interesting, though. I’m definitely not much of a singer. I do sing in the shower sometimes…but, quite badly.

Gardienne: …That’s adorable.

Don’t give up on me (Joker X reader) Fanfic

By Cece and Jacey <3

Don’t Give Up On Me (Joker X Reader) fanfiction







Think that’s it…

anonymous asked:

“Puddin! Can i get one where joker is abusive to the reader mentally, emotionally & physically (he does that ofc). (Cut out a part so we won’t ruin the story for you guys! Still doing your request, btw!)

This is for you Nonnie!!!

Another day, another bruise. I stared at the window by the bed. Even though it was stinging my eyes I still stared. It didn’t hurt worse than what J would put me through. By now, however, it wasn’t so bad. He sort of trained me to the idea of pain. Suddenly, a tear slipped out of my eye. I quickly wiped it away because of J’s footsteps approaching our room.

   Honestly, it’s not really ‘our’ room. Considering that he doesn’t even love me enough to call it ‘our’ room anymore. That was ages ago. Even though I knew that he didn’t love anyone. As he would say “I am not someone who is loved. I am an idea. A state of mind”.And to which I would reply “But I love you”.Then he would just sigh and either walk away or slap me, depending on what else I said to him.

   “Y/N. Get up and stop moping around all day”, J scolded.

   I sat up and rested my back on the head board. I noticed that he had on his fancy tux, it was black and cream colored. He looked really sexy with his emerald green hair slicked back. He noticed me staring.

“Where are you going?”, I asked. He ignored me. I cleared my throat. He still didn’t acknowledge my presence. I sighed. One day I know I’m going to have to leave. I’m just looking for the right time to do it. Everything is set. My bag is packed, my passport is ready, but I’m not.

I stood up for the first time that morning and walked sluggishly to the bathroom. I tried to apply some makeup to make myself not look like someone that you would bang after 50 tequila shots. I decided to just apply foundation and some lipstick. I took a look in the mirror. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I put myself through this pain?

   I exited the bathroom and sluggishly walked over to the closet. J gave me a questioning look but I ignored him like he did to me. Guess you could say I gave him a taste of his own medicine. I pulled out my suitcase and swung it over the bed.

   “What are you doing, Y/N?”, he asked.

   I rolled my eyes. Why would he ask me that?

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m leaving”, I say dryly. He stepped dangerously close to me, grabbing my suitcase

“You, my dear Y/N, are not going anywhere”. I stepped back and grabbed my suitcase.

“Who the hell is gonna stop me?”. J struck me on my face, his rings cutting my skin and sent me to the floor. I clutched my face and cautiously stood up. It took all of the braveness in me to slap him back. He stumbled back in shock. His dangerous blue eyes stared at me furiously, and I stared back.

He suddenly kissed me and I kissed back. He bit my lip and I let out a moan. I pulled away in shock

“Don’t leave me”, he said with a hint of love.

I looked at him intensely. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to leave but at the same time I wanted to stay. I knew that he was trying to lure me back into the rabbit hole of madness. I wasn’t gonna let him.

“No! I’m tired of being used and abused! I just want to be free and have my own rights!”,I said

He looked furious. It almost made me want to change my mind. Tears started pouring down my face. I make one more look at him and walk the other direction. I grab my phone and my suitcase and pushed past him. When I was out the door I felt a hand on me it spun me around and I was face to face with J.

“What!”,I said while wiping the tears from my eyes.

“Just know that I will be watching your every move.” He said. He grabbed my chin and kissed my lips. I pulled away and wiped my lips. He smirks at me I saw the usual glint in his eyes were gone. That either meant that he was angry at me or upset. it kinda made me feel bad for a second.

I turned on my heel and walked towards the car that he got me. I stuck the key into the ignition and  pushed my foot onto the gas. Shooting a glance to my rearview mirror I saw J climb into his car. He was either following me or going to his club to get laid.


   1 year later….

I was putting on my makeup getting ready for my date. His name was Nick. Nick Mong. We were going out to the bar. I really like him even though he can be too soft in the bed if you know what I mean.

   His daughter, Isabella, is so sweet though! She really believes that Nick and I are perfect for each other. She has big ocean blue eyes. Reminds me of someone, who’s name shall remain unsaid.

As I was applying my lipstick I realized how much stuff I had going for me in the course of 1 year. I got a modelling job, a new boyfriend, and a big beautiful house. Sometimes I think about the shit I could have if I would’ve stayed with J, but that’s in the past.

His big blue eyes though… I need to stop! I have a boyfriend and a future. His sexy green hair… He definitely kisses way better and is beyond better in the bed. I might’ve moved on but sometimes I still have feelings for him. Can’t a girl fantasize?

   30 minutes later later I’m out of the door and headed to the bar. I’m wearing a slick sexy ruby red dress with a slit down the side. My hair is in a bun with hair spilling down from it. my heels are literally killing it with gold jewels all around it.

I pull up to the bar and soon I’m in the bar searching for Nick. People are dancing on the dance floor, getting drunk, kissing, and barfing. I push past a couple making out in disgust. Ugh! Get a room people!

I sit down in a chair and get on my phone. I decide take a quick picture and post it on instagram. 75 people liked it already. I comment to a few comments and when I look at the time it’s been 2 hours.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn around. I expected Nick but saw a man.

“What do you want.” I said in disgust.

“You wanna fuck” he says casually.

“EXCUSE ME! BOY, IF YOU DON’T GET AWAY I WILL BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!” I jump out of my chair and walk to a table. I sit down and start bawling my eyes out. Where is Nick and why is he late! Did he just stand me up.

I get up and walk back to the bar.

“Five shots of whatever ever you recommend.” I say

He turns away and comes back with five shots of a yellowish substance. I down them all and shudder. As it was going down my throat burned really bad. Wow, That was really strong. I felt a hand on my shoulder.I tensed up and said

“Get away I don’t want to have sex-

But I was staring right at Nick. He looked a little confused but he didn’t seem like he cared.

“Hey babe!” I said with a big smile on my face.

He kissed me for awhile then he pulled away.

“Hey babe I have something to tell you…” He said with a serious expression on his face

“Yeah”, a hint of worry flashed across my face at his tone and expression.

“I know we have had fun these last few days and I just want to say” he got down on his knee “will you marry me”

I looked stunned. I barely know him, he proposed in a bar, and he stood me up for awhile and a dude tried to have sex with me.

I was about to respond when I saw a flash of green hair in the corner of my eye. J! I ran towards him to talk to him. But he walked outside. I heard Nick telling me to wait. But I kept running. I was kind of surprised I could run in heels but that didn’t stop me. I felt a hand on my shoulder but I slapped it away.

   A hand grabbed me and I screamed. I turned and saw someone I didn’t recognize. I kicked,screamed and thrashed around until he put a hand over my mouth. I heard a gunshot and there was blood splashed all over me. I thought I was dead until I realized I was still standing.

I released a breath and looked to see the man on the ground. A hand patted me on my butt. I turned around and saw J. I hugged him and quickly ran to my car.

When I was in my car I was breathing hard and there was blood all over me. I had so many questions. Why did I run from J? Why did Nick propose? And what am I gonna do with myself?

I arrived home quicker than I expected. I showered and changed into black shorts and the t-shirt that J got me. I wondered why I still had his shirt. He wasn’t mine and he abused me and yet I had his shirt.

When I was finished changing I headed downstairs and into the kitchen. It had tons of counters, two stoves, a bar, and a big fridge. I grabbed out some left over food and sat down on a stool.

I was just about to take a bite when I heard a knock on the door. My package must’ve came. I opened the door and saw J. He looked really sexy today wearing no shirt and his Arkham sweat pants. I took a step back and he walked in and closed the door. There was barely any space between us.

“I see you’re wearing my shirt”, he said with a smirk as he grabbed my hips.

I felt my face burn up. Crap I still have feelings for him. I stared down at his chest. I looked at all of his tattoos. I looked up and saw him giving me a look I have never seen him give me. He cupped my face in his hands and said

“Did you not believe me when I said I would be watching you.”

He kissed me passionately and we backed up into the wall. He bit my lip and I moaned. His tongue explored my mouth as he grabbed my legs and pulled me up to his torso. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my hand explored his hair. His hand went up my shirt and into my bra. He squeezed one of my breast and I let out a moan.

He pulled away and looked at me in the same way he did before. I don’t know if I saw love or something else. We were about to get back to it when then the door slammed open and then Nick walked in.

“Well I guess that’s a no then” he said and he walked back out and close the door with him.

We looked at each other and walked into my room and closed the door.


I woke up and felt something around my waist. I looked down and it was two arms. I looked to the side and saw J. He was shirtless and was super sexy while he was sleeping. His grip on my was super tight so I just looked to the side to see what time it was on the clock. It was only 8:00am so I went back to sleep.

I awoke again soon to the door slamming open. Nick walked in again.

“Nick won’t you give up!” I exclaimed.

“I thought you were just drunk and didn’t mean it but apparently you were serious.” He said with anger in his eye.

“I don’t want you anymore! You’re just forcing me to marry you and I barely know you. We weren’t even in that much of a serious relationship! You can’t claim me if you don’t even know what your favorite color is!” He was starting to get on my nerves.

I noticed J was just watching us go back and forth. He wasn’t doing anything, but the second Nick even dared to say something to him, he most likely going to snap. I glanced over at the dresser and noticed J’s gun next to him. Nick followed my glance and said

“Well I guess you know who you’re with then. We are over.” He said furiously as he walked out. Without looking back he said “by the way your favorite color is pink!”

“Well actually it’s green get it straight dude!”

I heard the door slam and heard something fall through the mail slot. Must be the key. I looked over to J and saw him looking at me sexily with a smirk. My face burnt up.

“So you know who you want.” He said with his ocean blue eyes gleaming. Why was he being nice to me?

“You know you’re thinking out loud right. I’m being nice because I miss you. I didn’t realize it until then. I love…” he stops with that same look in his eye.

“Aww! You love me.” I say with happiness in my voice. He looks up and stares at me with a hint of anger in his eyes. He looked a little confused but then he kissed me. I wished to be with J forever. Maybe we could have little J babies one day!  

“You’re my bad guy.” I said as I winked

“Show me how bad you can be” he said and he winked back.


anonymous asked:

“Puddin! Can i get one where joker is abusive to the reader mentally, emotionally & physically (he does that ofc) and then the reader gets fed up and leaves him and he says “don’t give up on me.” But she still leaves. So he’s left alone for a whole year and the reader’s move on and has a new life and he tries to get her back? I know this is long sorry puddin! Loveee ya”

That was for you Nonnie!

anonymous asked:

1 I knew u were hurt when all this happened gio, but i never thought u would delete all those memories u shared with some of us. I guess i could relate cause when my gf and i broke up I burned the letters she gave me cause it was too much seeing them, reminded me of so much. I was that hurt, but now I've moved on. I guess even though we promise things to others sometimes that we would always be there no matter, we just really need to take care of ourselves first and thats what u did.


I wanna thank u for being there for us during those times when it was hard even for u. Its like with the girls, they have days they feel like shit but they gotta smile and do their job. They do it for the fans and they deserve happiness. I know u dont even want to see the word camren but it all started with that for me, it was fun while it lasted but i really became a fan of 5h. Not so much like u guys i guess but they’ve always occupied my mind since last year. I really hope they all succeed in the future when they break up for good. Wanting them to be friends when they break up might be too much to ask? No? I dont even know what to believe anymore, they’ve faked their smiles way too much for their careers and for us that idk if what we see now is real. But I’ll think it is, for my sanity anyway. So thank u gio for being a part of this fandom. You do whats best for u but please be really happy with what u do and not force yourself cause you’re hurt, but hey we do what we do to move on right? Goodluck to you on that job hunt yeah and i hope your uncle gets better. ❤️


thank you for your sweet message! i, in no way, deleted the posts for being hurt but because i’m not PROUD of the things i said, it doesn’t affect my life at the end of the day but it affected lauren’s life in some way. again, thank you!

#23 Favorite father/daughter moment (25 Days of Outlander)

Awww I cannot not choose Brianna and Jamie here. Jamie also has a great relatioship with Marsalie and Joan, and with his nieces, even with Rachel and Lizzie he can get a little paternal. And we have the visits to Faith… <3

But I have to highlight the moment when these two fiery Frasers really have that father daughter bond put to the test and of course they are the best. When they go hunting, when they have their talks, and other activities my heart grows 4 sizes because they remind me of me and my dad when I’m helping him at home and when we share our love for history.

This is the moment when Jemmy is born, Jamie fullfilled his promise to save (and try to bring back) Roger Mac, and I love how she calls Jamie daddy here, instead of Da. She is almost invoking both her fathers. Even though the only Frank I don’t dislike is the part of him who raised Brianna (sometimes people tend to dislike Brianna because she likes Frank so much…), I love that it was Jamie who was there for her in that moment. Who got to witness his family grow.

Drums of Autumn

Jamie glanced from her to me, frowning worriedly. He took a hesitant step toward the door.
“I expect I’d best go, then, if you—”
“Don’t leave me!”
“But it’s—I mean, you’ve your mother, and—”
“Don’t leave me!” she repeated. Agitated, she leaned over and grabbed his arm, shaking it for emphasis. “You can’t!”
“You said I wouldn’t die.” She was staring intently into his face. “If you stay, it will be all right. I won’t die.” She spoke with such intensity that I felt a sudden spasm of fear clutch my own innards, hard as the pain of labor.


She struggled to her feet, then, and leaned heavily on Jamie, her face muffled in his shoulder, repeating, “Da, don’t leave me, don’t.”
“I willna leave ye, a leannan. Dinna be afraid, I’ll stay wi’ ye.” He put an arm around her, looking helplessly over her head at me.
“Walk her,” I said to Jamie, seeing her restlessness. “Like a horse with colic,” I added, as he looked blank.
That made her laugh. With the ginger air of a man approaching an armed bomb, he put an arm around her waist and towed her slowly around the room. Given their respective sizes, it sounded a lot like someone leading a horse, too.
“All right?” I heard him ask anxiously, on one circuit.
“I’ll tell you when I’m not,” she assured him.


“Daddy!” Brianna reached out blindly, flailing as a contraction took her unaware. Jamie lunged forward and caught her hand, squeezing tight.
“I’m here, a bheanachd, I’m here.”
She breathed heavily, face bright red, then relaxed, and swallowed.
“How long?” she asked. She was facing me but not looking at me; she wasn’t looking at anything outside.
“I don’t know. Not an awfully long time, I don’t think.” The contractions were roughly five minutes apart, but I knew they could continue like that for a long time, or speed up abruptly; there was simply no telling.
There was a light breeze from the window, but she was sweating. I wiped her face and neck again, and rubbed her shoulders.
“You’re doing fine, lovey,” I murmured to her. “Just fine.” I glanced up at Jamie, and smiled. “So are you.”
He made a game try at returning the smile; he was sweating, too, but his face was white, not red.
“Talk to me, Da,” she said suddenly.


Jamie was behind her, also smiling, his cheeks wet with tears. He said something to her in husky Gaelic, and brushing the hair away from her neck, leaned forward and kissed her gently, just behind the ear.

Journal Entry #2: How I Got Lost at the Spaceport

When I was six, my parents and I took a Star Tours flight to Naboo (which happens to be the birthplace of Senator Amidala, my grandmother Darth Vader’s former wife). I don’t remember Naboo at all, although I think Mom still has some holograms from the trip. What I do remember, though, is how I got separated from my parents at the spaceport hangar.

We were running late because Mom and Dad had been arguing on the way to the spaceport. The result of their bickering was a wrong turn and a half-hour’s delay. By the time we got to the hangar, the flight was scheduled to take off in a matter of minutes, and Mom thought we weren’t going to make it. It looked like she was right.

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anonymous asked:

Temari reprimanding Shikadai for something he did wrong (up to you to decide what he did) and him asking Shikamaru why he would marry such a troublesome woman. (Mayyybe Shikamaru thinking back to what his dad told him before if you can include it)

I hope you enjoy this, anon! :)




It was a question that sent Shikamaru’s mind back several years into the past – a time he resembled the young boy sitting across from him (almost) perfectly.

Shikadai had skipped class at the academy for the third time this week, successfully earning his mother’s anger. Shikamaru hadn’t been around to hear the details, having been assisting Naruto – or Lord Seventh, as the rest of the village referred to him as; yet, considering their history, the head of the Nara clan found it odd to refer to his friend as anything other than his name, and honestly, Naruto wouldn’t have had it any other way – for the day, yet he had certainly obtained an earful upon walking through the threshold.

According to his oh so loving wife, it was somehow his fault for their son’s laziness. Granted, Shikamaru was known rather well for his laidback, carefree, go-with-the-flow, lazy attitude, but he was renowned within Konoha – and beyond – as a genius – something of which he spotted within Shikadai at a young age.

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Chapter 27

*Three Years Later*


“Baby! Can you get Silver some juice!” I screamed from my vanity as I finished up my makeup.

I was running late for this meeting, and I still had to take Silver over to Mama J’s. The past three years have been mysteriously quiet. Robin and Chris finalized their divorce about a month after he met Odell that day. At first he was sad about it, but with time he got better with it. Silver Kaoni Brown was born July 16th at 9:30pm weighing in at 7 pounds 8 ounces.

She’s 2 now going on 25 and driving me up a wall guys, but that’s my baby.

After Silver was born Chris and I got back together, and it’s been really good. Robin’s still with Odell and they seem happy. She and I have our differences from time to time because she feels like it’s the Robin show. I have no time for her shit though, my life is really good now and I’d like to keep it that way for the long hall.

“Rue where my- damn you look good as fuck baby” Chris said coming up to me kissing my neck from behind.

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I started watching Dan & Phil around 5 years ago, following the Jamaica trip (I was big into CTFxC), making me 15 years old. I’m 20 now (such addition, very maths), it’s been a while since I’ve sat down to watch a video, and after watching pinof7, there came the realisation that I still adore them as much now as I did back then; three cheers for invalid adulthood. Cut to the chase: Phil’s horrendous Scottish accent reminded me of my flatmate so I sent her the video. She’s never seen a phan video in her entire existence, and the next thing I know she’s bombarding me with messages; quoting the video even though I’d only intended for her to watch the one clip. She found it hilarious and couldn’t believe the similarities our friendships and personalities share. Sometimes I wonder if I’d have turned out differently had I not grown up watching them. Now I’ve been requested to send in my favourite videos and she’s already been on a little youtube binge. So long story short: Dan and Phil can even bring laughter to a stressed 21-year-old university student lacking in sleep, and are as loveable now as they were back in 2010.

Don’t ever change, guys.
- Aimee

I got myself to delete an old conversation between us today on Snapchat. It wasn’t much, just enough to make me upset.“ She murmurs quietly.
“That’s good.” Her friend replied.
“I still can’t bring myself to erase the messages that make me cry, though.”
“Why not?”
“Well,” she started. “They remind me of when I was happy. With him. I’m still holding onto the thought that maybe, possibly, someday he’ll make me happy like that again. I know it won’t happen, but is it so bad to dream?
—  Is it so bad to dream? // May rewrite this sometime soon

I’m very sad to say that my cat Ashley just passed away from kidney failure after spending 16 wonderful years with me and my family..She pretty much grew up with me and was my best friend so it’s extremely hard to see her go. I still can’t believe I won’t get to see her anymore. I would always post pictures of her for my fans and everyone loved her because of how cute and fluffy she was, I bet she was really happy to have so many admirers : )  She was the prettiest, sweetest cat I’ve ever known. After my sister passed when I was little, my mom knew I would need a friend to keep me company, and that’s when we found her in a pet store somewhere. She was so tiny and when I sat down by the kitten enclosure she instantly ran up to me and put her paws up on the bars like she was saying “hey!!!! pick me!!!” and her charm was too much to resist so we ended up taking her home that day. Because I was a dorky kid I named her Ashley since the grayish black markings in her fur reminded me of ashes. I gave her the middle name “Rose” cause I was obsessed with Titanic when I was 5. She grew up to be a very regal cat so the name suited her a lot, though she was a big brat when she was a kitten. Ashley saw me grow up and was always there, even if we annoyed each other sometimes. She was shy around most people but would open up to the lucky ones and loved getting attention from them. She had the cutest meow ever and would always follow me around the house and “talk” to me. One of her favorite spots in the house was in my windowsill next to my bed cause she loved to sit there and spy on all the birds outside, but she also liked to keep me company and curl up next to my feet to take a nap. Whenever I would record myself singing songs for Youtube she would look at me with her eyes really wide and start purring and rubbing her head on me- maybe she liked my singing a lot, or maybe it was super annoying to her and she was trying to get me to shut up by being sweet, but it was cute nonetheless. I’ll never forget how happy she made me and how she kept me company during the hardest times, she really was my best friend and was so beautiful and patient, even until the end. I’m glad that I was able to give her such a good life with so much love, and she’s given me and my family quadruple that love in return. I love you Ashley Rose, rest in peace and have fun in cat heaven, I miss you so much.

Cute Moments


We just got to LA and my first thought was to bring Y/N for a walk around since we been on a plane for soooo long and the day after landing we slept like all day, so today we all just decided to take a walk around. Eating out for lunch, a few shops here and there. But once the sun start setting we went to this little café that you can sit on the roof and eat. Like music played in the background. Then I just wanted to be a little silly and romantic with her, pulling her towards the small dance floor and slow danced with her causing her to giggle and hide her face in my chest.

Hearing the guys whistle and laugh at us, I stopped looking straight into her eyes. Her beautiful eyes that makes me get lost into them every time I look. I loved this girl, loved her more than anyone could imagine. She was my world, my everything and I would never let her slip away. She smiled up at me, causing me to smile back and then I forgot about the whole world around us and just leaned in to kiss her softly. After walking back to the hotel, the picture Michael took of us was everyone.

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It was a normal day, just out driving around with her, the love of my life. Its been a rough week, going to studio then coming home at 1am to see Y/N lying in bed sleeping, taking all the blankets and tried to take the whole bed to get back at me for coming home so late everyday. And if I had day offs, I end up on the couch, playing video games which causes her to get pissed off at me. Then today, I wanted to make it all up to her because it was the last day I’ll spend time with her before I head off to America with the boys.

All I did was drive around, stopping at a few places, being goofy around her to cheer her up. I’ll sing loudly in the car with the windows down, causing people to stare and laugh while she covered her face in embarrassment and laughter coming out of her mouth. I loved her so much, even though sometimes I don’t show it and I’m not around much I still love her to death, I try to remind her everyday but sometimes work gets in the way. But she told me she knows that I love her. As I continue to drive Maroon 5 comes on and I just had to sing loudly, causing her to cry in laughter the whole time, which makes me smile.


We were at the beach on a hot summer day with the rest of the guys, Y/N was sitting in a foldup chair, umbrella over her and phone in her hands with of course earbuds in her ears. She didn’t really like the beach and I knew that which is fun for me to mess with her. “Y/N.” I whined trying to bring her out of that chair. “I don’t wanna go, I’m fine here.” She said, putting on her sunglasses. I sighed, she never really wants to do anything. And that makes me drag her to do something because I want to spend time with her and she just wants to sit on that phone of hers.

I smirked, grabbing the phone and earphones, dropping them in her purse. “Lucas!” She practically shouted but I ignored her, throwing her over my shoulder and ran towards the water, feeling her punch my back while screaming to stop. I kept her in my arms, running in the water and her screaming turned into laughter as I spun her around, pecking her lips. “Was that so bad?” I raised a eyebrow. Seeing that later on Ashton posted a keek of me throwing Y/N in the water which went crazy and pictures of it was everywhere.

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I walked off the plane, looking around for Y/N quickly. I waited so long to see her and its rather hard having a American girlfriend that lives in LA while you live in Australia. I threw my bag over my shoulder, fixing my beanie and practically ran down to the baggage claim. I needed to see her, hug her tightly and never let go. Kiss her soft lips again, hold her small hand in mine and cuddle with her at night.

I ran down the hall and turned the corner to see her sitting down, waiting while scrolling through her phone. “Y/N” I breathed out, causing her to shoot her head up. She smiled, running after me and into my arms. I kissed her cheek, her lips, then her cheeks over and over making her laugh and bury my face into my shoulder. “I missed you so much." I mumbled into her hair, smiling.


Hoped you enjoy it, sorry if its bad ._.

Send in 5sos preference requests? xx

Crazy Old Woman

It was such a beautiful summer, and my last one before I finished high school, too. And my parents HAD to make me take care of this crazy old woman. They slapped down the ole do-something-productive-this-summer speech and next thing I know, I’m working community service hours at the elderly home.

For a teenager forced into community service, I didn’t mind too much, though. She looked a lot like my own grandma, who had died only a couple years back. She reminded me of my own grandma so much that sometimes, I even accidentally called her “grandma”. Then, she’d frown and whisper, “Don’t call me that.”

This old woman had very late stage Dementia and Alzheimer’s that were so severe that she didn’t even remember her own name. To top it off, she even had a mild case of paranoia, but as I see it, most elderly people are kind of paranoid, anyways. In order not to confuse and upset her by calling her something she didn’t remember, I was asked to address her by anything that was general, like ma'am or miss or even honey. The nurses doted on her, calling her sweetheart and darling and all kinds of nicknames. I was asked not to call her Mrs., because she didn’t remember her husband, and she’d start throwing a tantrum.

Despite this finicky problem of addressing her and her occasional quirks and tantrums, she was a sweet old lady. I helped bathe her soft and wrinkled body and brush her silver hair, but my favorite thing to do with her was reading to her. I sat down in the chair in front of her, reading and reading. She’d face me and I’d face her, and she’d love to listen to me read. Sometimes, I think she tried to move her mouth along with mine, trying to mimic my words, which was encouraging, considering she didn’t talk much. I did most the talking, which wasn’t very much at all, since we spent most of our time together in silence.

I didn’t notice anything strange until things had fallen into ritual for me. The first thing I noticed was the weather. It was sunny and blue every single day I visited this woman. Of course, summers are sunny and blue, and I wouldn’t have noticed anything all if it weren’t for my stupid cloud game. It was a silly childhood game my father taught me, to find shapes in the clouds. I still liked to play it sometimes while riding my bike, when the scenery and roads became monotonous. On my first day visiting the old woman, I found a funny face. And the next time I played the cloud game, I found the same funny face at about the time I arrived at the elderly home. Then I found it again. That same face, the witch with the crooked nose and uneven eyes. As I started getting more and more suspicious, I started looking for that face every day. On days I visited this old woman, I saw that same face in the clouds without fail. On days I didn’t visit her, I’d look for it, and even strive to see it, trying to convince myself I was shaping the cloud in my mind’s eye, but I’d never find that peculiar, twisted face. Soon, I was spooked enough to try to ignore it, but I felt like that face in the clouds was watching me, following me and bearing its ominous presence down on me.

I couldn’t shake the connection between the old woman and the face in the clouds. Eventually, I started to think that the face in the clouds was the old woman herself. I was starting to obsess over this cloud, and wanting to get some kind of reassurance, I decided to ask the woman about the cloud. We sat down in the chairs facing each other, and I planned to mention it like a silly story or a passing comment before reading to her. Right as I opened my mouth, she said, “You know, my father taught me this cloud game.”

I don’t know why that scared me so much. Probably because I’d been spooked by that cloud for weeks, but maybe even more so because of the intense way she stared at me, like she’d never done before. I screamed and ran out of the room, when some nurses grabbed me and asked me what was wrong. They told me to calm down and hugged me while I struggled and eventually, I sat on the floor, silently crying.

“Are you ok, sweetheart?” The nurse asked kindly.

“Yes. I’d like to go now, please.” I answered.

They helped me stand up and I shakily made my way home. After that incident, I started to notice other things. I saw her out of the corner of my eye at home. I’d gasp and turn around and see nobody there. I began to wonder if she died at some point in the home, and came back as a ghost to haunt me. Maybe it was me who was crazy and paranoid. I stopped going to the elderly home, but I still saw her everyday. She no longer seemed like a sweet old woman to me, only menacing and threatening.

The thing that finally pushed me over the edge was my makeup mirror. I planned to go out with my boyfriend to take my mind off of things. I raised my tiny hand held mirror to my face. I applied my deep red lipstick and moved the mirror close to my eye to do my eye makeup. The eye that stared back wasn’t my own, but rather the eye of the old woman. It was wrinkled and unblinking, staring right at me. I screamed and threw my mirror down on the ground, shattering it.

The door burst open, and I cried, “Mom!” and ran into her arms. Only it wasn’t my mother, it was a nurse. And I was at the elderly home.

“What’s happening? Please help.” I sobbed into the nurse’s arms. It was just me and her in my room.

“Sweetheart, are you able to talk to me right now?” the nurse cooed in her soft voice.

“Yes, I am. I know you think I’m crazy, but an old woman has been haunting me, I just saw her in my mirror. I see a face in the clouds. I’m going mad. She’s haunting me. Help.” I cried.

“I know what’s going on, and I’m going to help you. This is going to be very hard, but it’s ok. Everything’s ok.” The nurse freed me from her embrace and instead kneeled to the ground, holding my hands in each of hers.

“My name is Joy Hill. Your name is Mrs. Walker. You married Mr. Walker long ago. You live in this elderly home. You have late stage Dementia, Alzheimer’s, and Paranoia. Right now, you’re having a rare moment of clarity. I know this because you’re talking to me, and you usually don’t. You’re going to be ok, Mrs. Walker. Everybody in this home loves you. You are surrounded by people who want to see you well and take care of you.” The nurse spoke slowly but surely.

“No. I’m Susan Nelson. I’m in high school.” I cried, but in some corner of my decrepit mind, I could see my elderly husband’s face. I was reminded flashes of our long life together.

Joy looked into my face carefully and waited patiently while I wrapped my head around it. I looked around the room. There was my shattered hand mirror. There was the chair I sat in when I read to the old woman. I stood up shakily, and was suddenly acutely aware of the aches in my body. I sat down in the chair and saw the old woman sit down in the chair in front of me, entering through the frame of the mirror. I raised my hand, and so did she. Our fingers touched through the cold glass. I cried, and so did she. She looked so much like my grandma. My grandma only died 2 years ago to me.

“When did my grandma die?” I asked the nurse.

“I’m not sure.” Joy hesitated, a bit confused.

“She only died 2 years ago. I was in high school.” I demanded.

“Sometimes, you can relive a certain day in your past. It’s not so uncommon.” Joy approached me and put a reassuring hand on my arm.

I stared into the mirror at myself and tried to understand that decades had been ripped from my mind.

“My husband…” I trailed off, afraid to ask. Gentle, loving, funny, beautiful Frank, whom I loved so much. If I saw him, maybe the years could come back. Maybe I can beg forgiveness for forgetting him and for when I will forget him again.

The look in the Joy’s eyes told me enough to make me scream. I saw him days ago, but now I could never see him. I cried hysterically. Of all the horrible ways I’d been afraid of, of all the accidents, I didn’t know this was how I’d lose him. To my mind. Lose a lifetime with him, like I’d time travelled from the beginning of my adult life to the very end of it. It wasn’t fair. A great sadness bent my shoulders and anguished my chest.

My mother made me beef pie yesterday. Today she was gone.

My dad sat in the rocking chair with me yesterday. Today he was gone.

Every one of my friends and family was gone in an instant.

To lose everybody you knew and the life you had in a single moment. I never knew this was the thing I should be most scared of.