sometimes people talk about this city like it's just a concept

pairing— kim seokjin x reader x park jimin 
genre/warnings— devil! Seokjin, devil! Jimin, smut, threesome, dirty talk, dom themes
words— 8,275

An unorthodox end to the office’s Christmas party…

the devil’s dickthe devil’s return

author’s note: Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! This is my last fic of the year…a little bit of festive cheer, followed by some devil induced sin, amirite?? I’m now on a much-needed break for the holidays, where I hope to eat my body weight in stuffing and read every fic under the sun! Thank you everyone for a great year!! I’m forever grateful. Here’s to hoping 2018 will be just as good! Love you!!

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GRRM questions/answers

Today I met GRRM and he held a 2-hour long session of question-answers. We were asked to write our questions on a piece of paper that were put in a box, and GRRM and his translators randomly chose them. There were silly questions and questions that he was asked many times before, but some were good questions and I took note of everything interesting he said.

- He was asked about the influence of American history on ASOIAF and GRRM said there was none. He was influenced by European medieval history, notably the Scottish history which was very violent, and not the American one.

- My question about Daenerys was chosen as the third question (I was lucky!) but he refused to answer it lol … I asked “How old was Daenerys when she left the house with the red door, and was it located close to the palace of the Sealord of Braavos?” (thanks Butterfly for suggesting it to me) I don’t know why he refused to answer about her age, but about the house with the red door he said there will be more revelations about it in future books.

- He was asked about his future projects (after ASOIAF) twice, and said that he concentrates on ASOIAF for now, and that after the main novels he has from 6 to 8 Dunk and Egg stories to write.

- He was asked where is Rickon and what will happen to him (a reader who forgot a part of ADWD it seems). GRRM said Rickon will appear in TWOW (why he answered this question but not the one about Daenerys’ age eludes me).

- There was a good question about the genders of dragons, but the whole audience laughed (“How to tell a male dragon from a female dragon?” I guess the one who asked this was more of a reader and the rest of the audience were more casual about their ASOIAF knowledge) so the question was a bit dismissed by GRRM as a joke. He said that it is not easy to understand the sex of dragons, sometimes even the dragons don’t understand it, and that if it lays eggs, the dragon is assumed female.

- GRRM said that he will not be reading any new chapter from TWOW. He has read enough of them already, and that if he keeps doing it, half of his book will be read before it is published. So I guess we won’t have new material from TWOW until it is released.

- What inspired him to create Ramsay Snow? GRRM said, and I quote, that he needed something “to bite Theon in the ass”. Ramsay was created for Theon’s storyline, and he is first presented as a prisoner and a servant and then rises to a high position while Theon becomes his prisoner and servant. Then there was a question about House Bolton in general (that they are a very interesting and mysterious House), and whether we will know more about their history. GRRM answered that he does not plan to write a book about them but probably in Fire And Blood there will be something.

- “It is rumored that there are 4 descendants of Dunk in ASOIAF. Can you say something about it?” George: “Possible, possible”.

- An interesting question was “Why are there so many sons who are unloved by their fathers, like Sam, Jon, Tyrion and Theon?” I watched George’s reaction carefully (I was sitting close to him) and he did not take issue with the assumption that Jon Snow is part of the “unloved sons” (obviously the dynamic talked about is Jon/Eddard, not Rhaegar). He nodded at the question and said that he does not have the full quote with him, but the great Russian writer Tolstoy once said that happy families are boring  - this was followed by a big round of applause cause every Russian knows this quote very well (the quote by Tolstoy is: All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.)

- He was asked about the real world equivalent of the Others, and he answered that the closest to it would be climate change. He talked quite a bit about it and said humanity needs to unite to face this threat and that it is urgent.

- “Will we know more about the origins of the Others?” Yes.

- “Are there industries in ASOIAF?” No.

- A good one was about Sansa - if she had told the truth at Darry, would Lady be still alive? GRRM said it is possible - Robert was not a thinker but an impetuous man, ruled by his emotions, so it could be that he would have directed his anger towards Joffrey instead of the direwolves. But it is not certain, because Robert wanted to keep peace in his marriage and might have decided to make Cersei happy on the matter of the direwolves anyway.

- “Does GRRM believe in absolute evil?” No, there is no absolute evil. Even the worst people in history had good qualities that unfortunately they did not use often, and there is “always possibility for redemption”.

- The person who wrote this question shouted “What about absolute evil as a concept, like death and oblivion?” which was a bit philosophical and GRRM talked about religions for a while, saying that they all promise eternal life but only after death. He then again stated that he does not believe in absolute evil, and said he explores the notion of “death is relief” with Arya’s storyline among the Faceless Men in Braavos.

- He always writes the book from the point of view of his characters, he becomes that character and sees things around him as the character would.

- He was asked to comment about the differences between the book and show characters, particularly Daenerys. GRRM ignored all the other characters and talked only about Daenerys - he said that the show one is older because there are laws in USA that prevent minors from having sex scenes so the decision was made to age Daenerys. Otherwise, book Daenerys and show Daenerys “are very similar” and “Emilia Clarke did a fantastic job”. (I guess he can’t really say negative things about the show, can he?)

- “Will Jorah ever get out of the friendzone?” (side-eyeing the person who asked this). GRRM: “I would not bet on it.”

- So here I will need your help to find out who GRRM was talking about - he was asked why did he kill Ned Stark, and he said that he already answered many times why he often kills off his main characters. Then he quoted an author named “Faulkner” (I do not know him, so I googled and found this name, but it could be “Folkner” or any similar spelling) who once said that “to be a hero sometimes you need to die.” Hmmmm

- He was asked about Hodor/Hold the door and if this was planned from the very beginning, and GRRM said indeed, he is great at planing and foreshadowing stuff, and that the mystery of Hodor’ name was with him since book 1. Unfortunately the show got ahead of him and reached this plot before he could, but he hopes he will get to it soon.

That’s pretty much it for the ASOIAF stuff. Some nice things not related to ASOIAF that he said:

- He loves cats (big round of applause).

- He respects integrity, honesty and being true to their principles the most in people.

- He was asked about time-travel and said it was fascinating - he talked for a while about the butterfly effect and of the novel A Sound of Thunder, and how stepping on a butterfly in the past resulted in dramatic changes in the present of the main protagonist, who returns and sees crazy far-right extremists in his country. He then threw shade at Trump and said “someone must have stepped on a butterfly” (round of applause) (GRRM posted about this on his FB just now).

- He loves caviar and “Saint-Petersburg is an amazing city”, he wishes he could see more of it.

- What would be an ideal crew to Mars? Another shade at Trump I guess, cause GRRM answered “it depends on whether the crew plans to come back”. lol (big round of applause).

- Lord of Light by Roger Zelazny is one of his favorite books.

Ok so that’s pretty much it :)

Research:Large to Small Scale, Avoiding Homogenizing East Asian Cultures, & Paralleling Regions Appropriately

I’m currently working on a project set in a secondary world, but with nations that roughly correspond to major cultures in our world. 

By that I mean I’m trying to create amalgamations of cultural groups. For example, one country corresponds to Germanic cultures, one to Celtic, one to Mediterranean. There are, so far, also countries that correspond to Eastern Asia - a mixture of Japanese, Chinese and Korean, mainly - South America, “Arab countries” and so on. My first question, in that regard, would be whether or not this concept - creating a “vibe” that reads Eastern Asian, for example, but is not one specific culture - is offensive and if it is, what I can do to solve it. 

The project I’m working on makes use of so called FaceClaims, which means that, for example, actors are used to represent fictional characters. If I based the country on China alone, then I could only use Chinese FCs and would thus greatly limit the representation. A solution I thought of was to have each country be inofficially split up in itself, so the “East Asian” country would have a “Chinese” region, a “Korean” region and so on.
Secondly, I have a desert region that I thought would be nice for an “African” (I am very much aware that there is no such thing as an “African culture”, so bear with me) cultural group. For this “country”, I thought of a loose union between different nations of people. There, I’m stuck - should I choose one region in Africa, let’s say West Africa, and base each nation on one specific peoples there? Or should I create my own “African-inspired” cultures? Or should I choose cultures from all around Africa and base a nation on each?

My third question goes along a similar line: The “cultures” I have chosen for the countries are by far not all there are in the world. There is no country for Native Americans, for example, none for South-Eastern Asians (unless I integrate them with my “India”), no Central Asian, etc. I know it is impossible to include all cultures there are in the world, but how do I choose which ones to represent in a concept like mine? I don’t want to exclude them, but I simply cannot create as many countries as there are cultural groups.

One possible solution I thought of specifically refers to Jewish people, since I feel it is important to represent them more in fantasy writing. My current idea was to have their story go similar to that of our world: Exile, long travels, and a split into groups, one of which would be the Ashkenazim, living somewhere near the Germanic country, and the other would be the Sephardim, which I imagined to live in between the “Arab” and “African” country, in a semi-autonomous city-state. But is it offensive to adapt what happened to the Jewish people in a secondary world or should I make it so that they have a more positive past and life, no exile like there was in our world? As far as I know, the exile is an important part of Jewish identity and cultural understanding, but I thought I’d ask anyway.

I’m going to preface this that some of this wording might sound very harsh, but I recognize you are genuinely asking out of a place of respect but you just aren’t sure what the best way to respect the world’s diversity is. The problem is it’s still not quite respectful enough, and shows sometimes glaring ignorance of nuances in the region.

I would also like to remind people that just because your exact question hasn’t been answered to the full scope you’re looking at, doesn’t mean you can’t get an answer as a whole. For example, we’ve discussed the concept of how and when to mix different cultures in the East Asian tag. Shira will cover your questions regarding Jewish representation below. 

However, I’m going to specifically tackle this from a research and worldbuilding perspective, primarily talking about a history of forced homogenization and how to avoid recreating colonialism/imperialism.

Notes on Language and False Equivalences

For starters, basically all of these groups are too broad. By a long shot. Either they flatten sometimes dozens to thousands of cultures (“Native American country” is in the thousands, “West Africa” is in the hundreds, “China, Japan, Korea” is in the dozens, if not hundreds, same deal with India). This language use makes people pretty uncomfortable, because it implies that the basis is stereotypes. It implies you haven’t done research, or, at least, haven’t done enough. When discussing nuance, it’s best to imply you understand there is nuance— like you did with Africa and Jewish culture, but neglected to do everywhere else.

You also go very broad with all non-European cultures, but narrow down a general homogeneous part for your European analogues, by picking Germanic and Celtic.

This double standard is something that is exactly what we try to draw attention to at WWC: to our ears, it sounds like “I’m taking Germanic peoples for Europe, but I’m going to mix three East Asian countries because those two regions have the equivalent amount of sameness that I can pass it off.”

While that sounds specific to just you, it’s not. We’ve received this type of question dozens of times in the past and it’s a general cultural attitude we’ve faced lots and lots and lots of times. Western society makes you think the equivalence is equal, because they’ve flattened all non-European countries with the single broadest brush, but it’s not.

I would also caution you on relying on media images for face claims, because media images only represent the idealized version of beauty. We’ve written multiple description guides that point out how much variety exists within all ethnic groups and how people seeing us as all the same is a microaggression.

You are right that you can’t tackle all of the world’s diversity into your worldbuilding, because, well, there is so much. The core of your question is basically how to narrow it down, which is what I’m going to tackle.

My suggestion is twofold: 

  1. Research big, top level things, over a few centuries— namely, keep track of empires that have tried to take over places and look at what groups Western society lumps together when it spreads multiple regions.
  2. Build small with a focus on a very specific place and group— namely, pick the smallest possible region you can and see what you have to build from there.

Researching Big

Researching big helps you catch what not to flatten, or at least, where flattening might be reinforcing situations that a government perpetuated. I’m going to focus on East Asia since that’s the bulk of your question, and it’s also where I’ve spent some time worldbuilding. The principles apply to all groups you’re trying to research.

East Asia— namely Japan, Korea, and China, although that is an oversimplification itself— is composed of two empires: China and Japan. This makes homogenization extremely risky because you’re touching two nerves of countries trying to take over in very recent history.

China has taken over a very large swath of land over centuries, and still has independence fights to this day from their recent history. As a result, they have both a roughly overreaching culture because the empire is so old, and a very fractured culture with over 50 recognized ethnic groups. When you think of “Chinese” you usually think of the dominant Han Chinese, but because of its old empire roots you can get a giant variety. In modern day, some provinces have kept their individual culture, while others have been part of China for so long there is a general “sameness” to them that can capture the flare you want.

Japan’s imperialism is similarly recent, only ending in 1947, and it left wounds across the Pacific (including Korea, China, Taiwan, the Philippines, and Malaysia). Many of their actions are classified as war crimes. They’ve also erased their own Indigenous population by insisting only one ethnicity lived in the country. Both of these factors make mixing Japan into an “East Asian” mix tricky. Japan’s culture, while heavily impacted by China and Korea, is pretty distinct because of its island status.

Big research also lets you see the neighbouring areas at a time borders might not have been the same. For example, in the 1600s, China was much smaller because the Manchu External Expansion hadn’t happened yet. As a result, places we now think of as “Chinese” actually weren’t, and you’ll have to account for these differences in your worldbuilding. You can determine this by looking up historical maps/empires, which might require book research (libraries are wonderful).

This does not mean you can ignore recent history, however. Because the story is set in modern day, people will be viewing it through a modern lens. You need to research both the modern and the historical context in order to understand how to go about crafting a respectful world.

So that’s stuff you would’ve discovered by big research. By tracking empire movements, you can see where old wounds are and what historical contexts exist within whatever region you’re pulling from. If you take North America, you can see how each individual tribe is cast aside in favour of settler stories; in Africa, you can see how multiple empires wanted to plunder the land and didn’t care who it was; in the Middle East, you can see both the recent military involvement, the historical Ottomans, and the historical Persians.

Build Small

You can also see what empires influenced their regions for long enough to create a similar-ish culture throughout multiple regions, which can help you extract the essence you’re looking for. I would add a very large caution to only do this for historical empires where those who suffered under the regime are not fighting in present day/ have living memory of it (such as incorporating too much of England, France, or Spain in the Americas, along with the two examples above).

Now you can build small. If you wanted to give a sense of, say, coastal China with a heavy amount of trade, you can pick a major port city in China and figure out the pluralism in relation to that city. What parts identify it as Chinese (architecture, governance, food, general religious practices— folklore changes by region, but the general gist of practices can remain similar enough to get a vibe), and what parts are borrowed from a distinct enough culture they’re noticeably different?

By going from a city level, you can imply pluralism by throwing in asides of differences “out there” that shows you’ve thought about it, without cramming your world full of cultures you can’t fit in the plot. You can then also narrow down what to include based on map proximity: if there’s an easy sea or land path to an Egyptian analogue, you’re probably going to at least hint at it. This is a known historical trade, btw. Egyptian blue and Han purple are made of similar substances, pointing to an ancient cultural link.

You can research this by simply googling the country and looking under its history in Wikipedia. If you look up “China”, you can see “Imperial Unification” as one of its history points. “Japan” similarly gets you the Meiji period. Turkey shows the Ottoman empire. You can also look up “empires in [region]” that will give you a similar overview. This even works for places you don’t think have historical empires, such as North America (the pre-colonization section notes several).

This also is a starting place for what the borders would’ve been during any given time period, and gives you places to potentially factor in military involvement and recent strife. This is where modern research comes in handy, because you can get an idea of what that strife looked like.

Hope this gives you an idea how to go about worldbuilding a diverse population, and how to avoid paralleling recent wounds. 

~ Mod Lesya

Regarding Your Jewish Characters

I think it’s valid to reflect our real history in fantasy although if you dwell too much on the suffering aspects and not the “richly varied cultural traditions” aspects you’ll probably lose some of us because suffering-porn written from the outside gets old fast (if you’re Jewish yourself you 200% have the right to write this, of course.) Human Jewish characters living in pockets in fake-northern-Europe and fake-Mediterranea and fake-North-Africa (or even Fake China and Fake India; we’re there, too) is actually injecting some well-needed historical accuracy back into a genre that’s been badly whitewashed, gentilewashed, etc by imagining a Europe where nobody but white gentiles existed until they conveniently popped into existence during whatever era the writer thinks is appropriate.

In other words, if your fake Germany has a Jewish neighborhood in its largest city, that’s a way of making pseudo-European fantasy more realistic and less -washy, and is overall a good move, despite the fact that the destruction of the temple is the reason we were in Germany in the first place. (I mean… it’s not like you’re planning on sitting there writing about Tisha b'Av itself, right? You don’t have to say “And the reason there are Jews here is because a bazillion years ago, we wound up getting scattered” just to have Jews.)

By the way, having myself written secondary-world fantasy where entire countries, plural, get to be majority-Jewish, and 100% free of on-screen antisemitism, I think both ways are valid.

–Shira

Got the Be More Chill book by Ned Vizzini from the library after listening to the musical

  • Jenna is the Coolest girl in class (caps from the book), and her pool of gossip is pretty much limited to her friend Elizabeth and said friend’s “sluttiness”.
  • I want to like the detail of Jeremy’s “Humiliation Sheets,” spreadsheets where he tallies day-to-day embarrassments like being laughed at or ignored, but every time they’re brought up it’s… super weird?
  • So far what we know about Jake is, “The big story was that Jake Dillinger had sex with his model from Czechoslovakia who was dating his dad, which I believe.  Jake can do anything.”  He’s brought up a few more times, and Jeremy makes sure to mention this model each time.  (Is this supposed to be impressive???  I’m just super creeped out by every aspect of this)
  • There’s a kid named Mark Jackson talking to a kid named Jackson Marks
  • Jeremy: “I just look at [Christine] and think about her a lot because she’s beautiful, you know?  I mean she’s intelligent and sweet and everything else that a girl is supposed to be to offset her beauty, but even if she were idiotic and mean, she’d still be beautiful and I’d still be contorted.”  Uhhhh…
  • Speaking of Christine, I was afraid she’d have 0 personality.  I was wrong.  She has 1 personality, and that personality is, “Girls make no sense, bro.”  Everything Jeremy says to her, she finds fault with and berates him for.  Now, I’m all for girls being allowed to get frustrated, but Christine’s written as a absolute jerk for the sake of making a point about “girls not being easy to reduce into a series of instructions to follow”.
  • We meet Michael in the cafeteria.  “Michael smiles and lets chewed fish-cheese roll through the gap in his teeth.  It plats onto the tray in front of him.”  I’m charmed.

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anonymous asked:

So like, well obviously, its gotta be Derek Nurse for the meme thing ??

MY BABE. 

  • Nursey thinks like a writer. Which is to say: his inner monologue is rambling, overcrowded, occasionally very poetic, but mostly just a giant mess. His mind is too full, and he gets lost in it. It’s not his fault. This tends to lead to longer paragraphs of thought, of close attention to the things around him, especially things (and people) he can wax poetic about.
  • Nursey’s an introvert. YOU CAN FIGHT ME ON THIS ONE. Nursey doesn’t actually talk all that much in canon–he has some close friendships, but he tends to be quiet when the whole team is together, with the exception of kegsters (when he’s…well. “Nursey Patrol” is there for a reason). I write him as being more talkative with one or two people, a chatterbox if he’s with Dex and/or Chowder because they’re his People, but more reserved and on the sidelines in a group. Which leads to:
  • Nursey is hyper-conscious of his presentation and behavior. I want to be careful with explaining this one, but it comes down to: Nursey’s a 6′2″ biracial man who grew up in the most diverse city in the world and then went to a boarding school where he had to conform to a Certain Type of Behavior (even though, from what I hear now, Andover’s gotten more diverse, though it’s still a psychologically rough place), he plays in a White as Fuck Sport, and he’s navigating academia. He is aware–at all times–of how he looks to the people around him, about how his behavior might read. I write Nursey’s anxiety as going beyond his awareness of his presentation of race and queerness, but I think that awareness is a critical thing.
  • Nursey gets angry - but is usually responsive, not reactive. Most of the times we’ve seen Nursey angry enough to yell, he’s actually making decent arguments. When he and Dex were initially fighting and Nursey called Dex privileged, he’s not wrong. When they’re fighting over Dibs and Nursey not only points out that he deserves them as well, but that Dex isn’t the only person who needs to afford room and board, he’s not wrong. He’s not making the best arguments or behaving perfectly maturely–we all saw those ear grabs, Derek–but he’s not calling names, he’s not being mean. And I think that’s an important distinction when writing the antagonistic side of Dex and Nursey’s relationship–when we see Nursey instigate, it seems to be things that are annoying (i.e. the classic sibling “stop hitting yourself!”) but not cruel. It really doesn’t seem like Nursey starts those real fights, and I wonder (ahem, fandom) how it came to be a trop that he does.
  • Nursey is funny!! Like, honestly I think he’s one of the funniest characters in the comic? His one-liners–especially in the tweets–shows a mix of deadpan humor, chirping, and what I’d argue is some self-deprecation (I’m sorry, there’s no way he wasn’t self-aware when he said “we can totally handle ourselves!” and then immediately fell down the stairs in that one tweet). I write his humor as generally dorky and sometimes self-directed, but I let him needle at other people–especially Dex and Chowder, where we see him poke most often in canon. LET NURSEY BE FUNNY Y’ALL.

Anyway I could probably write a million of these, but honestly they start veering in to headcanons as opposed to, like, “these are things that I legit believe are essential to his character based on what we’ve seen from canon.” But also, DEREK NURSE IS MY SON AND HE IS ALSO ME AND I LOVE HIM.

Pick a character I’ve written and I will explain the top ~three to five ideas/concepts/etc I keep in mind while writing that character that I believe are essential to accurately depicting them.

nodus tollens | i.

chapter 1 : the wedding planner

Im Jaebum x OFC

Word Count: 3.2k

Genre: Angst

Summary: Where Jaebum meets the woman who will plan his wedding.

Author’s Note: Oh look, I’m not dead!!! But seriously, I’ve been absent for what I feel like has been way too long. I’ve been here, but not posting new stuff which sucks. BUT, anyway, the first chapter of a new series, a series I am hell-bent on finishing. I hope you enjoy this, and thanks for reading!

Jaebum’s photos by Match Point

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Rito/Revali Rant

I’m gonna rant about Revali and the treatment of him and the Rito in Breath of the Wild because I love this asshole and I hate how little information we got about him from the game because I noticed many things that piss me off-
There will not be any spoilers of the main plot below, just general things I’ve noticed throughout the game. 
Please note: This isn’t supposed to be an official thing, just something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while because it just makes me sad. I’m not trying to start any sort of argument or anything, just releasing some thoughts here. 
Also, I have yet to actually get to the Goron part of the game-! So this isn’t an entirely fair “Critique”, but it’s something I’ve noticed so far and blah blah blah here we go-

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3

Uuuuh supernatural/mythical creatures AU?? I was going to do fullbodys of everyone but I finished Phoenix’s and got tired…

Lots and I mean a LOT of extra details in the undercut

  • so uuuuh theres a lot of details about this universe i created sorry about that
  • human DO exist in this universe they’re just not as numerous (but are still kinda considered the “standard” for society, its a little racist)
  • creatures and humans didnt always exist together and some creatures maintain colonies and like to be isolated but mostly cities are diverse 
  • its not a really a social system, but with a city with “naturally dangerous creatures” theres “special security” (most citizens wouldnt attack people obviously but you know…”just in case”)
  • some citizens have to wear special collars/bracelets (depending on what “class” you are)
  • class h2 - half-human; either look partly human or human most of the time
  • class hL - human-like/”previously human”; looks human all of the time or used to be human
  • sub-classes categorize and help dictate wether a collar/bracelet is needed
  • feenie is a harpy, rare for a city given harpies need a LOT of space
  • class h2, sub-class pwc (predatory winged creatue, draconaids are here too)
  • “predatory” creatures like him wear state mandated collars in public, containing their info and can be used to deliver a paralyzing shock by police if need be (theres a fine if they’re in public without them)
  • maybe its…barbaric but idk i was going a little original concept zootopia on this
  • “for the protection of society against those who go ‘feral’“
  • anyways,,,phoenix cant use his wings like arms BUT there are some products manufactured specifically for creatures like him (like low desks and high chairs)
  • his feet are his hands
  • like real birds
  • about flying, technically hes only allowed to fly from rooftop to rooftop (thats considered “creature airspace”) or in big parks, if he tries to fly in between building its a “distraction” and it could cause accidents 
  • he usually prefers the subway/bus
  • edgeworth…im undecided on still
  • hes either gonna be a vampire or yuki-onna (”snow maiden”) but idk tell me what you guys think
  • either way hes class hL as “previously human”, and in this case wears a bracelet similar to phoenix’s collar
  • (if hes a vampire he buys blood to drink, its like a blood bank thing, i dont know im working on it)
  • either way, his office is always cold as hell
  • klavier is a siren, and his lower half is a fish tail (think beta fish) so hes in a wheelchair out of water
  • class h2, sub-class A (aquatic), special category “voice” (type: siren)
  • (other “voice” types are like succubus/incubus, its creatures with voice that can compel people against their will to do things with their voice)
  • klavier wears a “voice” collar, the front piece presses on his vocal chords in a way that makes normal talking easy, but switching to his “siren voice” is impossible
  • (does make singing hard but he wears it even while singing to prove hes not just a good singer because hes a siren but because hes actually good)
  • technically klavier COULD have legs, its a thing sirens can do, but its constantly physical agony, like walking on glass, so he doesnt do it
  • (kristoph does though, because hes “fancy” and its an underlying racism thing about looking more human makes you “better”)
  • when apollo first saw klavier he didnt know he was a siren and thought he was just a human in a wheelchair but found out later when he visited his office and its on the bottom floor and a big pool
  • blackquill’s a werewolf, why i didnt make him something bird related was i just,,,kept imagining him as a big fluffy werewolf
  • he doesnt HAVE to look like that all the time but he wants to…its an intimidation thing
  • class h2, sub-class pLm (predatory land mammal), he wears a collar like phoenix’s
  • he can shift between more wolf-like and human-like but on full moon night he has no choice and is a big wolf
  • he still has his mind though (doesnt lose control) but he gets antsy and calls athena to go on long midnight runs with him
  • edgeworth hates that he gets fur all over the office and hes at phoenix’s a lot, especially whenever phoenix is helping apollo get rid of fleas (those tiny wing claws do have a purpose)
  • apollo is a satyr, because uh goats scream
  • class h2, sub-class hLm (herbivorous land mammal), doesnt need a collar
  • is a vegetarian, doesnt eat any meat (he also chews through metal or paper sometimes, drinking a soda and then eating the can)
  • his eyes go sideways slit when hes REALLY nervous or scared
  • was scared of phoenix first time he met him, says hes not anymore but sometimes he gets jumpy around phoenix
  • blackquill doesnt help
  • his bottom half is a goat, but he wears pants similar to phoenixs
  • horns are like facial hair to satyrs, some satyrs can grow massive horns (also beards) others just…cant 
  • apollo cant grow his horns out further than that nor any real stubble, but he says he doesnt mind because of the neck problems anyways (he does mind)
  • athena is a “zombie”…technically? shes a living corpse
  • class hL, sub-class “artificial human”, meaning technically shes not a “real human” (at least not anymore)
  • shes not made of different human parts, more like she died and was reanimated
  • the stitching is because, as a corpse, her body parts can tear 
  • “apollo grab my arm, i think i left it in the other room-” “where?” “no wait nevermind i feel someone-” “*terrified bleating*” “oh sorry is this your leg-” “LET GO”
  • “dont lose your head there athena” “very funny boss”
  • according to blackquill and apollo, she smells bad
  • “like death” “i mean yeah im dead”
  • she doesnt need to sleep to shes always up, though she still likes to nap sometimes

I can come up with more stuff later, I still have some ideas, but ill see if anyone’s interested first (if you are please let me know i want to know if people like my ideas or not im weak and need validation)

2

[Please read the attacks before reading the origin.]


  • The X - Origin


Saturday morning. November 2, 2013…. Dimitri didn’t understand why his father insisted so much on moving out of town suddenly… Since his mother’s death 2 years ago, his father started to get weird, as if he was paranoid, which wasn’t normal for him. Dimitri worried because before his mother’s death she also started with some paranoid mania and he thought it was some neurological disease or something, he always sought logical conclusions. The point was that he didn’t want to move… not that he has friends, but there were a few classmates who got on well at his school, who got him out of trouble, he was not a troublemaker, but he got into trouble because he was talking when he shouldn’t. He wasn’t at all wrong, when something isn’t right, someone has to talk, and in the case HE always spoke. Apparently in high school this thought was completely disposable. Whatever someone said was against the “rules” imposed by such bullies, they would end up being judged and sometimes end up inside a trash can. Dimitri has always been the notorious “nerd” of the class, not the quiet one who stay isolated doing all their homeworks properly and is almost invisible, but the one who is usually hated, who gives the answers whenever the teacher asks, who warns that their has homework when teacher forgets… He was a tremendous pain in the ass. But he wasn’t always like that, after his mother died, he began to work hard on his studies and the things that interested him, he thought it would make him forget.. In fact it distracted him, but when he was lying in his bed, his heart always hurt… It hurt because of his mother… it hurt that she died without seeing the great man that boy could be… It hurt that he had put himself in big trouble because of hacking what he shouldn’t while she was still alive… He tried to spend all his time in studies, baseball, robotics and technologies, so he wouldn’t think of any of it.. Outside of class he was the king of computing, there was no code he couldn’t access. Hack? He was an expert. Once he found a notebook in a dump and took it home, fixed it completely and when it started working, he went back to the dump and hacked NASA and the FBI just for fun. He didn’t do anything about his true “potential”, just wanted to test. Something hard for just one person, but when you devote all your time to things like that, it gets easier. Then he wiped his fingerprints, broke the notebook again and threw it into the dump, leaving without a clue, after all he didn’t want to get into trouble again.

Now… stopping to think, he thought that maybe that’s why his father decided to move at the end of the year, after all, even though his father loved him too much, he wouldn’t let his 17-year-old son go unpunished by a mess with NASA and FBI. Or maybe he owed something or got into trouble. His dad wasn’t a financially favored man and sometimes cheated on games. Maybe that was one of the reasons that made him even more paranoid.

The whole trip the man didn’t stop, he was always looking worried and looking back, just relaxed and returned to being the normal “father” when he realized that there was nothing following him… It was very hard.

Monday morning. November 4, 2013. There wasn’t much to do at school in a November, classes would continue until the end of the month - until December 20 for those who were recovering - but Dimitri was curious to venture into a new school.. Actually, he was kind of desperate to go back to new studies, it had been two days since he’d put his face in a book.

He dressed himself up as he did every day in his old town and went down to breakfast. In these two days he was in the car traveling, Dimitri built a small robot, from which he pulled out of his bag and placed it on the table. The robot brought him a grape and the boy smiled. It worked well for a robot made in such a short time.

The boy fed and waited for his dad to come down to take him to school… He looked at the clock, his dad was never late like this.. nor him. First day of school at the end of the year for a NEW school and he would be late.

He was getting impatient.

His dad finally came down… But he was in his pajamas.

“Dimitri… You’ll have to miss class today…” - His father said, running his hand across his forehead, he was sweating. But the weather was cold throughout the city, and his dad hadn’t turned on the heaters.

“ What? But I need to go, I need to see what it’s like before I start a new year at a new school, taking away the fact that I need to reinstate my studies.” - Dimitri said a bit nervous, he didn’t used to be nervous like this, but for everything has its first time.

“ It’s November, you don’t have to go, you’ll hardly have a class.” - His father replied, still looking like a sweaty ham.

“ Come on, Nick. You’re the one who keep always nagging me to go to school and now you’re asking me to don’t go?” - Said the boy getting up from the table and approaching the stairs in which his dad was standing. - “I NEED to go to school.”

“Listen, that’s not gonna affect your grades, I didn’t even registered you, because the enrollments will only be open in early January. Now relax and go watch some TV or play video game, I don’t know. I will not take you to school today. - His dad said, going up to his bedroom…


Dimitri was angry, not wanting to believe it. He grabbed his backpack, his cellphone, and left the house. He would go to school on foot.

Arriving at school, there really wasn’t much movement, but the important thing wasn’t other people but himself. He talked to the headmistress who allowed him to attend classes without the registration because it was the end of the year and the classes wouldn’t last as long.

As anticipated, there were several students who didn’t look like scholars, were in recovery, of course. But a trio caught his eye… As he passed the halls, this trio of bullies were nagging a boy who looked like a chicken so small and skinny. And there was Dimitri and his big mouth trying to stop it. After all, Dimitri didn’t like things like that.

” Hey, why don’t you just let him alone? He didn’t do anything to you…“ - Dimitri said approaching the bullies… They were big…

"Oh wow, what’s the matter, firehead? Are you wanting to stay in the place of the toothpick here? If you don’t want to, get out of here.” - said the bigger of them, who also seemed to be the leader, approaching of Dimitri and giving him such a strong push that knocked him down on the floor, causing him to fall on his backpack and break the little robot he had made during his travel…

“… You should review your concepts.. ” - said Dimitri getting up and taking his backpack.

“And you should talk less, little bird.” - The biggest boy was about to approach again when the headmistress came to save the day.

“You two should be in your classrooms.” - That said, all five of them left for their proper classrooms.

As every Monday is a big shit, the biggest bully fell into Dimitri’s classroom. He would try to ignore it as much as possible. Sitting at one of the middle tables near the window, Dimitri took his stuff from his backpack and was ready for his first class at the new school.

Time passed, there was little time for class to end. In that school nothing was different, he always answered correctly what the teacher asked, without giving chances of others to answer - even because the others in the case didn’t know anything - but this time he always get a ball of paper in his head.. of that boy. In his mind were passing things not pleasant and even frightening about what to do with that marginal. For a moment when the teacher was correcting some school tasks and the students had nothing to do, Dimitri leaned his head against the wall and looked out the window. He had a little fright, not exactly a fright, maybe a surprise at what he was seeing… On the other side of the street, next to a light pole, was a tall slender guy in a suit.. His arms were long, very long .. He was thin, very thin… It was practically the height of the light pole. He looked at the face of the man, but there was no face… He was stuck to that figure for a few seconds - or at least seemed seconds in his mind -, a very strange noise of static invaded his ears, until the teacher called him attention. When he finally blinked, looking at the teacher, there was no one else in the classroom.

“Classes are over, dear. You can go.” - Said the gentle teacher with a smile.

“Oh… Yeah… Thank you.”

He was puzzled, could barely make sentences in his mind.

He left the classroom like a rocket. He ran into the street, looking toward the post light where he had seen that man… But there was nothing. He was surprised… He tried to take into account that he hadn’t slept well, maybe he had just dozed off in the classroom… It was bad too, but not as much as it was real.

Returned home. He barely opened the door, his father already opened it quickly and pulled him into the house, hugging and closing the door quickly, locking all the locks. Nicholas hugged him so tightly he could barely breathe. He tried to get rid of his father’s arms as he spoke desperately.

“Oh my God, are you okay? I told you not to go to class, it’s dangerous, oh God.. Thank God you’re okay, ah….” - His father was extremely desperate.

“Calm down! Dad, let me go!” - He finally managed to pull away, looking confused at his father. - “ Did something happen?”

“… It’s nothing… Go to your room, I’ll take your dinner. Just stay there.” - Said the father moving away from his son and going towards the kitchen of low head.

Dimitri didn’t understand anything else. What he didn’t know was that his father had a nightmare that day. That slim man wrapped his son in long tentacles and carried him away into the darkness. If his father knew what he had seen that day, he would never let him leave the house again.

Dimitri went up to his bedroom and closed the door. For a Monday, it was awful as hell. He took the broken robot from his bag. There was a way to fix it, but he was upset that it had been brutally broken like that… That’s it. A new school and he wouldn’t like nothing that boy….


Night falls. His notebook was open in his bed, letting a song play. He was a guy who got carried away by songs, and he was angry all day, so the music he heard was some rock, not so heavy, but with strong emotions. As he listened to the music, he tried to study at his desk, but he had nothing to study, he had no new material, everything he had to learn had already learned, so he tried to draw…. He thought of the man he saw earlier. He sketched him in his exercise book…. But he thought it was silly.

“Tch… You are too old for imaginary friends, Dim.” - He said to himself, tearing the sheet and throwing it in the trash can.

He laid his head on the desk, his pen still in his hand. He began to scribble randomly, he was bored. When he raised his head, he looked at the excercise book… He had scribbled a strange symbol there… A circle with an X inside… He recognized the symbol, one of the times he entered his parents’ room when his mother was still alive, he found a paper with the same symbol in his mother’s drawer.

Dimitri was scared, because he wasn’t thinking about that symbol, he had forgotten that symbol two years ago, only saw it once… He just continued scribbling. His head was aching and he didn’t want to think. All the scribbles he made after that were similar symbols, or trees, and a strange doll.

It was cold… The ginger looked at the open window and got up, it was time to close it, it was getting really cold. When he was in front of the window, about to close it… He saw again the faceless man on the other side of the street. He had to force his sight because of the dim light of the street… It was surely the same man… but this time it was different… It seemed to have some tentacled coming out of his back. But he wasn’t sure because the light wouldn’t allow him to see. Again he began to hear a static noise and this time he began to cough… He didn’t stay staring, just closed the window and walked away from it, his coughing didn’t stop, on the contrary, it got worse. He could hear the desperate steps of his father climbing the stairs and opening the door. His father first went to the window and looked, there was nothing… So he went to the boy.

“ Dim?? Are you alright? What happened?” - He asked desperately, but Dimitri could only cough, felt a horrible taste of iron in his mouth, but it wasn’t blood.

Dimitri didn’t reply, but he nooded. His father helped him up and then looked at the desk and the notebook with the symbol… He shook his head.

“No… no… Listen, Dimmy, you’re sleeping with me tonight, okay?” - Said the man already pulling his son with him out of the room.

Dimitri was confused, but as soon as he left the room, he somehow got better… He slept with his father that night. But he couldn’t sleep properly…

Since then he hasn’t seen the faceless man, but the symbol was chasing him… He always did it without realizing it, or saw it somewhere …

Over time, he tried to forget that, although his health had begun to decline.

Monday morning. Day 06 January 2014. First day of school, now enrolled. He can only go to class after hiding all the symbols he did and prove himself well to his father who looked like a madman taking care of him.

Sometimes when his dad heard him cough, he forced his son to sleep with him again. Dimitri didn’t know who was worse, either himself or his father, which also got worse, but psychologically. He forced Dimitri to take medicine…

That day, he was being positive. He wanted the day to be good, until he got to school and ran into the bully and his cronies. He remembered that not everything could be perfect… The day at school was spent as it always was in his old school, answering the questions and this time getting those paper balls in his head. This time there were more people, so sometimes he wasn’t the only one to answer and get a paper ball… but he didn’t think that was funny.. He just got more and more hate from that guy. So much so that as time passed, he began to lose interest in answering, just kept quietly scribbling his exercise book… those symbols.

He always looked out the window, but nothing …

His life thereafter became an endless bullying, in which the headmistress didn’t do nothing to stop the bully, because he was her son. Dimitri didn’t return the violence because before his mother died he promised that he would never get involved in a fight again, although he knew how to fight, after all, for a baseball player he knew how to hit, he also trained in his house. He only served as a punching bag for the promise he made for his mother. He was fast, he might as well hit those three if he wanted to… But he didn’t… And it was hard to escape from 3 guys. But Dimitri always answered, always had something to say for the bully’s actions. They became rivals, but obviously the only one who was being beaten was Dimitri. He always returned home with a purple eye or something. He always had to hide or say that he fell because his father was at an absurd level of paranoia. Of course a teenager like Dimitri would tell his parents what was going on so that it would stop, but Dimitri worried about his father… he didn’t want him to end up like his mother. Dimitri’s bonds with his father were as strong as his mother’s, there was no favorite. When his mother died, part of Dim also died, but he still had his father, who loved him a lot and he always returned the same love.

The time was passing. 18 years on June 13, 2014. Friday.

With his dad practically stuck at home of his own free will, he would have to buy things for his birthday alone. He would buy some drinks, not for himself - he hated alcohol - but for his father, who admired a good vodka and hadn’t drank for a long time.

He was leaving the store with some bottles of vodka, deserted street…. When he saw the trio of bullies on the street, leaning against the wall on the side of an alley. Oh no. Not on his birthday. He would ignore and pretend that he didn’t exist… But…. A girl passed by, she was about to walk across the street and divert the idiots there.. That’s good, he was relieved in some way… But his relief left when he saw that one of them was approaching… One of the henchmen of his mortal rival grabbed the poor girl from behind, she began to scream. Dimitri looked inside the shop that had just left, thinking of getting help, but that street was a dangerous street and as soon as the screams began, the store put out its lights… Dimitri gets angry… He wouldn’t leave the poor Girl there in the hands of those dirty ones. Then he came up, already screaming madly, with authority - as if he had.

“ HEY! Let her go… ” - He said a little hesitantly… Even more hesitant when he saw that the trio were completely drunk…

“ Look who decided to come and save the day. The firehead woodpecker… HAHA ” - The big guy laughed and motioned for his friend to let go the girl go. So she ran away.

“You can be big idiots at school without punishment for being the headmistress’s son, but you can’t be a rapist here without paying for the consequences.” - Dimitri said putting his hands in his pocket.

“ Oh yes? I can do whatever I want. Consequences, huh??” - The drunken man, full of testosterone, said as he staggered, approaching Dimitri. - “What are you going to do? Hit me?”

“No. But the police will know what to do with you, "mommy’s boy.” - Dimitri replied by pulling his cellphone out of his pocket and walking away from the bullies while calling the police.

His biggest mistake was to turn his back on them… One of the henchmen grabbed him by the arm, pulling him hard, which made the bag with the bottles of vodka fall and break them… The three took him in. From the alley, where the biggest bully - and his biggest enemy- grabbed Dimitri by the throat and lifted him, leaning against the wall.

“Show him who’s the boss, Igor.” - The henchmen were laughing.

Igor took Dimitri’s cellphone and threw it on the floor, stepping on it and crushing it. He turned his gaze to Dimitri and tightened his neck.

“You should talk less, little bird. Silence suits you.”

Having said that, Igor threw Dimitri down. Dimitri hit a trash can that fell, opening its lid. Igor took a hose from there and wrapped it around Dimitri’s neck, holding him from behind as his henchmen hit the redhead who could not defend himself and was suffocating. Igor did not let Dimitri suffocate, he wanted to make him suffer before. He told his cronies to leave so he could finish it himself.

“You think you’re so clever, do not you?” But you can not get out of a situation like that. It looks like a trapped rat.

And so Igor started kicking Dimitri several times. He asked one of his friends to hold Dimitri lying on his back and with his arms up.. Dimitri couldn’t even move, so he couldn’t fight so much… The anger he felt was no match for pain.

Igor stomped and crushed his throat… He could hear the disgusting noise it made, especially when the warm blood rose to his mouth and slowly gushed. Igor destroyed his throat… As he did so, he paused for a moment and looked at the poor ginger choking on the floor.

“Do you know why the police will not do anything if they find out? Because the chief of police, the deputy, is my father. And he loves me like the innocent little boy, so he will not do anything against me.”

Igor was about to break Dimitri’s neck when a deafening static sound started to stun them… They covered their ears but nothing worked… The only one who could stand was Dimitri, lying on the floor, his throat destroyed and almost drowning in his own blood. Everyone there at that moment saw at the bottom of the alley, the faceless man…. They ran, they ran like ants… Dimitri wasn’t afraid, he was angry… he was hurt…

He was looking up because he couldn’t move, coughing and coughing, swallowing and spitting blood, couldn’t breathe… He saw the man approaching and the faceless face facing him from above… Then it disappeared. After disappearing, Dimitri managed to move… It hurt, but he could… somehow that man gave him some strength. He crawled went the hose and intubated himself so he could breathe… The hose wasn’t so long, so there would be no danger of the blood coming out there going back to his lung. He lay there with the hose helping him to breathe…. He was thinking about how many minutes he had to live …

Luckily, the girl who had run away had called the police on the way, so the police quickly arrived. They didn’t have time to call and wait for an ambulance so they took Dimitri directly to the hospital.

They called Nicholas, Dimitri’s father, and told him his situation. Even with problems with leaving home, Nicholas hurried to the hospital, desperate to see his son. In Dimmy’s room, Nicholas saw his son lying on the bed, his throat bandaged. He asked the doctor what had happened and if his son would be all right.

“Well, sir. Your son’s throat was completely broken, except for the spine bones, luckily. Is also a luck that he’s alive, but only survived because no main vein was ruptured. Whoever did this would certainly wanted to see your son suffer.” - The doctor said as he looked at his papers.

“ And… and he’ll be okay?”

“Listen, with the surgery we luckily can reconstruct his throat, it will take time to heal but when it heals, it will be a new good throat… The surgery was very time consuming and complicated to get to that point, then it will cost more. But on the bright side, he will be able to eat and breathe normally when everything is properly healed. Until then, you’ll have to have a breathing tube and a feeding tube. The only problem is that we can’t reconstruct the vocal chords, so your son will not be able to speak anymore.

"Oh.. thank God he’s alive… You said that the surgery will cost more… How much?”

“$ 50,000.”

“What… But that’s a lot!”

“Yes, for perfect surgery.”

“Perfect? My son will not be able to speak ever again!!”

“Sir, we can lower it for only $ 30,000.”

“ …”

That money was much more than they had.. Nicholas managed to negotiate, he would pay $10,000 every month for three months.


After being discharged, Dimitri went home with the hospital’s necessary things so he could breathe and feed until he was fully healed.

His father had to work, so he left his fear of leaving home, after all he had to pay for his son’s surgery.

The weeks passed, his father was already exhausted…. He couldn’t have time for himself, he cried every night… Dimitri couldn’t move much… He could only stay lie in his bed.

Once late at night, he woke up and looked at the corner of his room… That faceless man was there. He had to bow his head a little too much because he was too high for the house. Dimitri wasn’t surprised anymore… Just kept looking… The noise in his head formed low voices, voices that told him horrible things, voices that influenced him… Again the taste of iron… again it wasn’t blood…. and again the cough came back.. He couldn’t cough a lot, he tried to cough as little as possible, it was excruciating…. The slim man disappeared.

Dimitri couldn’t remember exactly what had happened when he woke up, nor did he remember going to sleep… He also couldn’t remember his notebook being in his bed. He could move his arms. He brought the notebook more closer to him and one thing came into his mind…

He started accessing some codes. In a few minutes, he was inside Igor’s computer and his henchmen’s. From the cellphone, too. He activated the cameras so he could observe everything… He would see every step of Igor and his friends from there. He would watch them… When he heard where they were going, he could hack the access of security cameras and watched everywhere the boys went. He watched at their routines… That was the way he had been for all the days he got stuck in that room.

When he could walk, he wouldn’t leave his room, just wander around it, ripping the wallpaper with scissors he had, scribbling papers and sticking to the walls. Everything he did wasn’t fully conscious, he just felt he had to do it, What he should do… he just did it. Every day he made a new symbol… One day, fumbling in his wardrobe, he found a can of red spray. He looked at all the symbols on his walls, wardrobe and curtains… His expression stayed a little desperate, for he didn’t know what else to do… He was going crazy… With the Spray can, he spat several large red X’s over the symbols as if he wanted to cover them.

Monday. January 5, 2015. Dimitri was already healed and had quickly learned sign language. He was ready to go back to school… but he wouldn’t do it. Although there was no more bruising, there was a horrible scar in his throat. He made a point of hiding it with high collars.

Dark circles could be seen from afar, he barely slept. All he had done in his room was to watch and chase. He wanted his revenge. Especially after he discovered that the police did nothing because the police chief really was Igor’s father.

Dimitri didn’t want to go to school anymore. He went every day to the woods, his father didn’t know. In fact, even Dim didn’t know, when he realized it, he was in the woods and so he came home when he realized that it wasn’t where he should be.

He was in his bedroom, thinking, or at least trying, his mind was a sea of confusion and noise, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know who he was, after all he would never think of such a cruel revenge if he were “himself”. Dimitri knelt on the floor and took from under the bed a box with two red-capped daggers that belonged to his mother when she was younger, she was a collector. They were beautiful daggers of embellishment, but extremely sharp…

Dimitri was no longer thinking for himself. He stared at those daggers for a long time… Longer than he should have. He didn’t even know why exactly he had catched them, he even didn’t remember them at all.

He was lost.

Voices that seemed to be around him would yell at him, whisper to him, ask him to give up…. and, to someone with such a grudge, giving up everything -even for a revenge- seemed like a good idea. Dimitri didn’t want to live like that, like an idiot nerd who couldn’t even speak… He gave up his own life.


During all this time, his father didn’t enter his son’s room, since he was busy working as a slave. After finally paying all his debt, this Monday morning Nicholas decided to see how he’s son was, after all only saw Dimitri when he left the room really few times. Nicholas went into utter despair as he opened that door… The pixadated walls scrawled with that symbol beneath the large red X’s. Nicholas knew it was too late, but he didn’t want to believe it.

He noticed something… Dimitri wasn’t in his room… And the daggers box was empty, except for a paper with scrawled trees… Nicholas already knew where Dimitri might be.

He drove like crazy into the woods, where he saw a young man with a dark gray hood about to enter the trees. Could be? He shouted for his son.

“ DIMITRI!!”

The boy didn’t turn… But Nicholas was sure it was him…. Nicholas ran to the boy and pulled him back, couldn’t let him enter the woods because he felt that this time Dimitri wouldn’t back home… As soon as he pulled it, the boy turned. It was Dimitri! He wore a black bandana covering part of his face, with a red X where his mouth would be. Before Nicholas could say anything to bring his son back, a sharp pain struck his chest… He looked slowly down… The dagger of his wife, tucked into his chest… He looked at the Dimitri’s eyes… no longer had old brightness. They no longer had the brightness of a normal person… Before falling, Nicholas pulled the bandana so he could see his son’s face once more, he wanted to see if Dimitri had done it by force, wanted to see if he had any kind of resentment. But there was nothing there but a neutral expression, as if he didn’t feel anything, like he didn’t care about anything…

“He… he chased me all my life… he took your mother from me… and now he took you from me… I… I’m sorry…” - Nicholas said as he cried. He wasn’t crying because he was going to die, he wasn’t crying because it hurt… He was crying because what hurt him most was to know that his son who he loved so much had actually gone before him. Because the one in front of him was no longer his son.

After Nicholas died, Dimitri took the dagger from his chest and took his bandana back. For a few seconds he stared at the body of his dead father there. In the middle of that neutral expression, without feeling and lifeless, a tear in left eye slowly descended to fall on his father’s chest… Maybe that tear was the last drop of humanity… or the last drop of Dimitri’s soul… after all, when you kill someone, you are considered a heartless person. But… when you kill someone you love so much, you don’t have a soul anymore…

That night he disappeared in the forest, and since then it hasn’t been heard to speak of him…

Or that’s what everyone thought…


Friday night. November 13, 2015.

Cops gathered around a house. The woman who left there was the headmistress of the main school. She screamed and cried to her husband who was the police chief, and all the police tried to calm her down. Detectives enter a bedroom of the house to examine it. There was a notebook of the corner near the wall with a lot of smoke coming out, the window was open. They looked around, a dead body tied to the bed. It was Igor. His throat was open, not a normal cut, but it was very torn, as if it had been torn by hands and everything in there had been crushed. Also, his mouth had been sewn.

“… How sick, the guy sewed his mouth after killing him, did he was afraid the victim tell someone? Haha. Joking apart. It’s very strange.”

“… No, sir… Apparently the victim not only died from blood loss but from suffocation, as we can see the blood flowing desperately through his nose and eyes. Apparently who did it sewed the mouth first and then destroyed the throat after… ” - Said the detective running his fingers through the badly made seam, parts of the mouth were torn. Probably had to be pierced again, it seems the victim had moved a lot, which leads to think that this was the reason for having been tied.

“Detective …” - The cop at his side called.

“ Hm? ” - The detective stared at him.

The cop pointed at the wall above the bed, where - with blood - it had drawn a huge X… Like the X that had been drawn in the alleys where Igor’s friends were found, dead in the same way.

Assassin!Seungcheol

Originally posted by imbangnzelo

  • part of the birthday request for seungcheol, thanks to the anon who asked for an assassin seungcheol
  • prefers hand to hand combat because it’s ‘funner’
  • he’s the type to leave a gigantic mess that the others have to clean up
  • seungcheol grew up in the business, he’s lived his whole life living in expensive homes paid by money that blood was spilt over
  • he grew up learning every type of martial arts, when his father placed a hand gun in his palm, seungcheol tossed it aside with boredom on his expression as he stated he loved fighting instead
  • when he was younger, seungcheol didn’t understand the business at all, why kill people that are just living like us?
  • but his father sat him down, a hand coldly pressed upon his shoulder ‘people are bad. people are selfish. our business helps people. we get rid of all those mean people in the world.’
  • and as much as seungcheol tried to wrap his head around that idea, he couldn’t grasp why humans would kill other humans
  • one day the concept clicked in his head
  • he was twelve years old when his father took him on a small trip, the excitement in his veins was flushed out when his eyes were fixated on his father’s hands repeatedly smashing the man’s head against the coffee table that cracked instantly with blood dripping to the ground
  • on the ride back home, seungcheol remained still as his father began small talk so casually but seungcheol, he was shaken, eyes dead as they stared at the rain pouring
  • and he found the reason behind killing people, it was not others that were selfish but his father who was. selfish and greedy for money is what his father was
  • selfish and greedy is what seungcheol turned out to be
  • he works for this big company, on the outside it looks like a friendly extravagant five star hotel
  • but deep on the inside, it’s a front for a giant assassin organization. each floor holds about a dozen assassins, each receiving deals and offers by a knock of a door
  • he likes the chase, he likes to play games with his victims for a long time, he captures them with his charming smile and ruins them with his sly smirk
  • takes any jobs, doesn’t matter the pay he’ll do anything
  • he has a team, well not really a team, its just twelve other individuals who help him sometimes and he helps them
  • on his floor, he lives next to twelve other assassins, some are partners and some are lone wolves
  • they’re the closest thing he could say was family, it was common for him to be tended by Joshua whenever he got wounded, or sometimes Mingyu brings over food
  • they’re guys that make his whole life feel a tiny bit normal
  • and then seungcheol meets you
  • he was so drawn to you, maybe because your laugh echoed loudly in his ear, or that in between the crowded room of people dressed in the darkest of colors, your bright yellow made you the center of everything
  • seungcheol seemed to forget the mission, he forgot to search for his next kill because you, yourself had stolen his whole attention
  • it wasn’t long that seungcheol had stolen yours, with a drink in his hand, a charming smile, seungcheol strode up to you, offering the beverage in his hand in exchange for your lovely name
  • and you couldn’t helped be charmed by this mysterious new face
  • before you knew it, seungcheol had taken you to dinner, which led to coffee and only escalated to more outings together, and suddenly seungcheol’s forgotten everything his whole life was created on: to be selfish
  • Because now, seungcheol wanted to give you everything
  • ‘are you going to let a girl ruin your life’
  • the words shot at him repeatedly, the whole building had caught wind of seungcheol and his affiliation with you, and now he was being shamed for wanting to quit, wanting to end every ties with everyone, wanting to live a normal life with your hand interlocked with his
  • and with his father’s hand pressed on his shoulder, seungcheol’s mind began to whirl as he heard the words ‘end it, or we will’
  • seungcheol clenched his fist as he sat nervously under the large umbrella showcased outside of the coffeeshop, his eyes shot at the building across the street, a sniper was placed upon the building, it’s eyesight closely focused on seungcheol
  • he watched you approach with a smile on your face, and seungcheol stood up, wrapping his arms tightly around you, when you pulled back, he held your face between his hands
  • ‘run away with me’
  • your smile faltered, ‘what are you talking about seungcheol’
  • ‘it’s hard to explain right now, we have limited time. but i love you, so much to be doing this right now. so run away with me’
  • you’re seeing the sincerity in his eyes, the way they were welling up as they held what looked like fear, and you couldn’t help but nod, ‘w-where are we going’
  • seungcheol smiles, ‘anywhere you want’
  • seungcheol glances up at the sniper, from the piece in his ear, he hears Jihoon ‘they’re coming. I’ll hold them off, the boys have everything packed, they’re waiting at the airport. You two need to leave now’
  • and hand in hand, seungcheol escapes the city with you, to start a new, to create a new meaning of life

a-radioactive-platypus  asked:

Hi there! I hope you don't mind, but I have a question (hopefully it's not a stupid one) about your last post (the pride day one). Namely, I was wondering if you had some common examples of homophobia within the church and ways that we can begin to combat that and become more accepting in a way that is consistent with church teachings. I hope that this is ok. Thank you and God bless!

Hi! Thank you so much for asking.

For some background, I grew up with Traditional Catholics. I usually only went to Masses in Latin and was taught the details and doctrines of our Faith since I was about six years old. So, my experience with Church-based homophobia may be different than others. Some may not experience it all, some have maybe experienced it to a more intense degree.

Here are some common examples of homophobia I see in the Church. They go in a basic order of bad to not so bad, but the numbers aren’t super exact or rigid. 

1. Talking about LGBT people as if they are a theory/concept or that they are outsiders.

This is common especially when it comes to priests or teachers of the Faith. Like, LGBT people are always assumed to not be part of the Parish, classroom, or in the community in any way. They are “heathens” people who are “slaves to the modern world,” but they aren’t in any way, shape, or form near us or are us. 

To be honest, that’s incredibly harmful. Like, I’ve only heard “nasty” and “unfortunate” rumors of sermons (probably by a visiting Jesuit or something) that preached about “”””gay people being….[dare I say susan] welcome””””” 

I’ve actually NEVER experienced any of those horrid “novus ordo” rumor sermons, but if one of my lovely FSSP priests wants to give one, I would be both shocked and I’d make sure that they get put up for beatification once they go to heaven. But, for now, all I hear is either instruction or condemnation. I rarely hear affirming of our humanities or any acknowledgment that some of us are sitting right there in the pews listening and internalizing every word that the priest is saying.

2. Insulting, shaming, and condemning gay people and gay religious

Nobody dare say this doesn’t happen because IT FUCKING DOES. I’ve heard (Catholic) people say gay people are going to hell, I’ve heard (Catholic) people use gay people as merely the butt of their jokes, I’ve heard (Catholic) people call gay priests and religious “a disease that eats the Church.” And honestly THAT HAS GOT TO FUCKING STOP. This isn’t the 60′s. It’s not longer acceptable to be a dick to gay people, for a good reason. Because it’s not decent.

And if you’re going to be a dick to the gay lay (lmao rhyme) people than you better not, for the love of God (literally), talk shit about gay priests or religious. I will fight you even if it kills me. I don’t care if you *personally* think they’re nasty or some other homophobic sentiment. Lesbian nuns are the brides of Christ and gay priests stand in the person Christ. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous to the homophobes, but gay religious are actually very common because guess what? That’s a vocation they can do and many times are called to.

3. No desire to welcome them in the Church

Ugh. This one gets me. Because it’s like a casual conversation topic.

“Susan, did you hear about St. Holy’s in Large City, State? Yeah, they’re accepting gay people now. :(:(:(”

“Oh Karen, that’s really sad :(”

(im not kidding, this was a legit conversation i heard).

First of all, ask yourselves, why do you not want gay people to come to Church with you? What are you so afraid of? Gay people are just people who like the same-sex. Why does that make you want to exclude them from Jesus Christ in the Tabernacle?

4. False Assumptions

I wish I didn’t see this as often as I did.

It’s like every straight priest and lay person automatically knows the beliefs, level of devotion, desires, and thoughts of ALL gay people throughout ALL time in ALL places. Stop. Only God knows that. You don’t. STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS.

Not every gay person is an amoral, flamboyant, sex-crazed, godless heathen (some are, but that doesn’t even matter?? you should love them anyway?). Most gay people are just…people? Like? We all have their own quirks and some fit into stereo-types and some don’t? Like, we aren’t all cookie cutter people…

We have dreams, passions, beliefs, morals, and voices. Why don’t you listen to us and try to be friends with us, instead of actively making yourselves enemies to “avoid scandal” or some equally heinous excuse not to love us.

5. Comparing gay people to the murder of innocent children

Nobody talks about this problem which is why I brought it up. Do you ever read those articles/entire books commenting about how post-modern society is full of paganism and fuckery and Fatima’s coming back to get us? Well, some of that’s true, but here’s what always pisses me off about them: gay people and abortion are always put in that same post-modern immorality circle, in the same degree of horribleness, and they are even sometimes linked.

Okay, I understand that logic, but that is literally the most biggest pile of paganism and fuckery that I’ve seen. NO. Having gay sex is NOT the same as killing an unborn child in the womb. How far is your head up your ass for you to have to realize that, while both wrong, one is clearly far worse?

(on a side note: ppl, especially ppl who hate the Vatican II, like blaming it for all of this “gay acceptance.” but that’s garbage b/c if the Vatican II never happened we wouldn’t even give too much shit about gay marriage because we’d be focusing more on gregorian chants and growing in our communities [a.k.a. the emperor didn’t give a shit, he was off somewhere doing poetry])

6. Near-constant instructing, condemning, and patronizing

Gay people can understand theology. Most gay Catholics are acutely aware of the Church’s teaching on gay people because, hey, it affects them. And if they choose not to follow that teaching then they know damn well what they are doing in the sense that no “apologetics” will get them to change their mind. I know apologetics didn’t change mine.

So, in short, most of us are really tired of hearing again and again and again what the Church teaches about gay people. We’ve heard it, we know it, and some of use will choose to follow it. Unless someone legit does not understand the teaching, there’s no need to explain it. You’re not being “more loving” or loving in “the real way” if you tell a gay person that God doesn’t affirm gay relationships. You just look like you have a nasty religious superiority complex. Even if you don’t, that’s what it appears to look like.

7. Enforcing the closet

Honestly, this one’s not going away anytime soon, but we need to be free from the closet. I HATE that I can’t come out to anyone in my religious community because I fear alienation, I fear shame, I fear ridicule, I fear for my physical and mental well-being. And I’m FOLLOWING Church teachings. I naively thought that if I only followed Church teaching again, I wouldn’t feel like an outsider at my Church.

But I do, I really do. And this closet is one we enforce. We encourage gay people to shut up about themselves. We remind them that they are not welcome in Catholicism, we remind them that they are only here to be tokens for our theological debates, we remind them that they are part of our horrible world, we label our gay priests and religious as traitors, we find gay people to be inherently unfortunate, and the list goes on and on.

I want to feel like I am safe enough to be lesbian at my Church, in my family, and in my overall community. But that can’t happen unless the Church militant changes their opinions and assumptions on gay people.

8. Not properly educating your self on Church teaching

Unfortunately, I HAVE SEEN THIS. People don’t understand the difference between homosexuality and homosexual acts.

-Homosexuality is an passive state. It’s beyond our control. It is not sinful.

-Homosexual acts are actions. They are within our control. They are sinful.

Treat your gay brothers and lesbian sisters with compassion and sensitivity.

Those are the Church teachings on Gay People. Know them.

9. Not being able to distinguish between having disorder and being disordered

This one speaks for itself. The person is not disordered. Stop treating them as if they aren’t your equal because you perceive they are disordered rather than they have a disorder. 

10. The mindset that Gay People cannot achieve holiness through being gay

Celibacy is a sacrifice and sometimes a suffering (many times a suffering). But when we unite those sufferings with Jesus on the Cross, we draw such a multitude of graces for us and for others. And yes those sufferings are because we are gay.

Being gay can be a means of holiness. Being gay can bring you to heaven.

11. The Mindset that Gay People are inherently unfortunate

speaks for itself.

12. SSA Terminology (and terminology use in general)

This one’s lower on the list because not everyone thinks it’s homophobic and I can see why but I have a few personal problems with it. 

a. it isolates people identifying with the LGBT+ labels from the Catholic community

b. it isolates LGBT+ Catholics from a common history of oppression and existence they share with the LGBT community

c. it strips the meaning of monosexual labels like Lesbian and Gay which have been used to describe an exclusive attraction to the same-sex. Simply saying “ssa” implied that they are open to heterosexual relationships. And they’re not; lesbians especially have had lots of trauma and issues relating to their exclusive attraction to women and having no attraction to men..

d. it sounds objective. it sounds like a disease. many gay people do not like being called “homosexual” because it objectifies and medicalizes them*. I feel the same way with SSA

*please stop calling us “homosexuals.” gay person/gay people, lgbt/lgbt people are preferable. (homosexual person is okay, but “gay” or “lgbt” is preferable). the problem with “homosexual” is that so many times that word has been used to objectify and dehumanize us. this is the label related to the theory of gay as a mental illness and it’s been used to do horrible things to us. we prefer not to have it be used for us.**

**of course i CANNOT speak for all LGBT people when it comes to labels. this is just what i’ve notices from the majority, please ask if you are unsure.

13. Boycotting gay things, even subtle gay things

Once again, minor pet peeve of mine. But, do ya’ll remember the Beauty and the Beast thing? Where a minor villain was *subtly implied* to be gay more as a joke than a serious thing? Yeah, and everyone acted like it was a hell-sent pagan movie from the depths of Hollywood despair? 

Yeah, that was really fucking rude. Everyone was really fucking rude. The director was really fucking rude to that in the first place tbh.

I think this is a broader Christian thing, but Catholics are Christians as the old saying goes.

14. Misunderstanding the concept of Gay Pride

More minor complaints. First of all, you can totally think gay pride is perverted garbage, there’s a lot of trash in gay pride because half the people in the Pride parades don’t understand what they actually were/meant for.

But to be fair, too many people think that gay pride (self-acceptance) = pride as in the sin. Nope. Unless you want to call National Pride (patriotism) a sin, gay pride isn’t the sin you’re thinking of.

Theoretically, you could call gay pride a form of heresy because you’re showing support for something the Church condemns. But to me, gay pride has always been about self-acceptance, acceptance in society, and gaining our rights as equal citizens.

Alone - Part 11

Warnings; violence, torture

Words; 1,731

A/N; Hey loves! I hope you all love this chapter as much as I do! Italics are flashback. Also, because this is based after Civil War and Strucker is dead, HYDRA is sectioned off into a shit ton of bases and each base has a leader and they all work together if that makes sense. Feedback is always appreciated & my ask box is always open ♡


Your mind was a mess of pain and Bucky. It was dark in the room you were kept in and you had no concept of time. Every so often, way too often, they would take you from the cold dark cement room and bring you into what looked like a high tech lab. You walked through the Lab, being dragged by large men. The scientists working would stop their work to watch you, you never understood what they found so interesting. They would take you into a room inside the Lab, it had reinforced glass walls. It was like a large glass cage for everyone to gawk at you while they tortured you. But you let them, you let them do whatever they wanted, inject you with whatever they wanted and shock you reputedly until you couldn’t remember your name. You let them do it because when you arrived they gave you an ultimatum. It was you or Bucky, and you would never let them get their hands on him again.

You could tell that they were trying to make the process faster, you could hear hushed voices talking about doubling the serum. They strapped you into a chair and put a large contraption around your head. You wouldn’t admit it but you were terrified. You knew what happened to Bucky and you knew that they were trying to do it with you. You were afraid of forgetting your friends, you were afraid you would forget him.

The doctor spoke to you. “Think about your precious Bucky.” The doctor grinned before sliding a needle into the crook of your arm.

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Where Good Girls Go To Die (chapter 1)

pairing: fahc x reader 

word count:  1,987

series: Where Good Girls Go To Die 

summary:  You’re not quite sure what compelled you to move to the infamous city of Los Santos, a ruthless playground for drug dealers, washed-up celebrities, and criminals alike. It was very different from your small hometown in the middle of nowhere, where nothing ever happened and you couldn’t even leave your house without running into someone you knew, but perhaps that was part of the attraction. But, after running into your ex-best friend, Jeremy Dooley, you began to think Los Santos wasn’t so bad as it seemed. Well, until the bank you worked at got robbed and you managed to get kidnapped all in the same week, leading you to become stuck in a penthouse with six very deadly males.

chapter one / chapter two

Chapter One: Lil’ Cups of Coffee

The sun rose above the skyline, painting it various shades of pink and orange. Beams of light shone directly through the blinds and onto your face, causing you to throw the blankets over yourself.

“Fuck off.” You mumbled, trying to block out the luminescence from the other end of the room.

When you had first entered your new apartment the night previous, you immediately could tell the city’s nightlife four floors below would be hard to adapt to. Whizzing cars and alarms lasted past nightfall, making you toss and turn in your bed. It didn’t help that you were ninety percent sure gunshots had gone off  only a few streets down from yours at around three in the morning.

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anonymous asked:

!!!! Can you talk about Fire by Kristen Cashore? You've called it perfection before and i really want to know all the things you loved about it~

oh my god i sat up straight when i read this i’m so happy. anyway this is a lot of incoherent gushing but you asked for it

  • fire herself: so fire’s the main character of the book, and probably my favourite female character in the world. fire’s a human-monster, she’s incredibly beautiful, and her beauty is this huge burden to her. and she spends most her time trying to make herself less and has a really hard time coming to terms with her power and the good she can do with it. also, fire has been dealt a difficult hand of cards in her life and yet, she’s so kind and good and she wants to be better than she is, always. she’s just so loving and caring and when the people around her hurt, she hurts. she just has so much love to give and in a world that hates her or wants to use her, she could have turned out so differently and yet she still prioritises love. 
  • the other characters: i love pretty much every single character in this story! there’s such a great cast of secondary characters, all fleshed out w/ their own motives and beliefs and ideals. i love the character development, like nash’s character arc is so good, oh my god. he stays away from fire until he learns how to control himself because he wants to be better than this, because his brother asks him too, because he himself eventually comes to love fire in a healthy way. it just makes my heart swell. fire and brigan are also one of the few straight couples i ship to the death, they just compliment each other so well. clara! garan! hanna! mila! everyone is wonderful!
  • the worldbuilding: i really really love the dells, i love the geography described within it, and how the colourful the land was. i love king’s city, and how it’s situated on the waterfall’s edge. i love the concept of monsters, esp the human monsters, whenever cansrel was described i was always !!! also, don’t forget that the dells is primarily made up of people of colour, and that the most beautiful person in existence is a dark skinned women of colour.
  • the writing and the pace: my friend sophie @beyoncepatronus pointed out to me after she read it that the pace was really slow and odd, there wasn’t enough drive to the story and it felt like a series of events or a biography rather than a story. after she said this, i realised that this was something i really loved about it. i get quite daunted by fantasy novels and this one felt like it took its time. and no, the plot wasn’t flawless, but it didn’t have to be. also, the writing itself i find so wonderful, there are some beautiful turns of phrase, most of which come from how fire sees the world in relation to how fire sees herself.
  • to follow up on that, there is a quote from fire which had a lot of impact on me from the moment i read it. and i think about it when i think about how hard it is to be alive, and how much i love my friends, and how they make that easier sometimes. and it’s “She had thought she’d already reached her capacity for pain and had no room inside her for more. But she remembered having told Archer once that you could not measure love on a scale of degrees, and now she understood it was the same with pain. Pain might escalate upward and, just when you thought you’d reached your limit, begin to spread sideways, and spill out, and touch other people, and mix with their pain. And grow larger, but somehow less oppressive. She had thought herself trapped in a place outside the ordinary feeling lives of people; she had not noticed how many other people were trapped in that place with her.”
Smaller Than Himself

Spiritassassin Week 2017, Prompt 1: First Impressions

Baze Malbus is little more than one giant bruise when he is brought to the temple. A giant bruise and a mess of tangled, dirty hair. He has five broken ribs, a black eye, a split lip, and a twisted ankle that he limps on, hissing pain with every step but refusing to lie down, refusing to take it easy. He doesn’t want to be coddled, he insists. He is not an invalid, not a child. He is just hurt. It is evident in the way he says it, quick, slapdash with no modicum of shame at all, that not only has he been hurt before, but that he is used to it, so used to it that he doesn’t understand why the masters make tutting noises, why the healers frown and turn their heads when they find the seemingly never-ending collection of scars across his broad body. He just scowls at them, obviously annoyed by how much they care, unused to the that feeling, and repeats that he is not a child.

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A Review of Tom Holland’s Complete Filmography

According to imdb

I had a lot of free time, so I decided to watch every movie Tom has acted in, according to his imdb page. I review each film, some with separate spoiler-free reviews.

spoilers under the cut

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recognize you anywhere

“Whatever other universes there are, whatever versions of me are running around, whatever they’re out there doing, I’m sure they’re going to find you. One way or another.”

She rests her chin on his shoulder, gazing up at him. “How do you know?”

“Because, it’s like I said.” He tilts his head to look at her, biting his lip before breaking into another effortless smile. “I’d recognize you anywhere.”


also known as, the rucas soulmate series, where they find each other in any and every version of reality. ( read on ao3 )

Chapter: prologue & 1


✾ new york, present day ✾

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

The question escapes Riley’s lips before she can really think it over. It hangs in the air, filling the silence of her bedroom.

Lucas makes a face as he contemplates the answer, shrugging. “I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

“You know me,” she says sheepishly, dropping her gaze down to her notebook rather than looking him in the eyes. She doesn’t know why she’s embarrassed, but something about the question seems so silly she wishes she could take it back. His lack of a decisive response doesn’t help matters. “Sometimes I just say things. Ramble, and stuff.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. She glances up long enough to catch his fond smile.

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Let’s talk about F1eetfoot.

(Spoilers for book 2.)

First of all, I can’t even figure out what this dog looks like, besides having long golden fur and long legs. She’s supposed to be part greyhound, but who the heck knows what the other part was? Just apparently something with flowing golden fur. F1eetfoot doesn’t have to look like a long-haired greyhound. But the only part of her appearance I can remember being referenced constantly is her gooooorgeous, just-like-Sardines’ locks.

Secondly, I find her one-dimensional perfectness irritating.

When this puppy was first introduced, she was seriously antisocial and aggressive, apparently not even wanting to associate with her own mother and siblings. D0rian said he got attacked trying to put a bow around her neck. (Then why did you try, dumbass?) It’s clear that this puppy is vicious to anyone but Sardines, for no apparent reason.

Now, aside from the fact that Sardines demanded that the prince not put down an aggressive puppy that will turn into a dangerous adult dog (Why is this brutal assassin making a Charlotte’s Web reference, again?), and then didn’t want the responsibility for its care foisted onto her…she demanded that the dog be trained by some *handwaves* random person, when the dog hates everyone but her. I fail to see how this is to be accomplished.

And then there is no more mention of any training, and F1eetfoot suddenly becomes The Perfect Dog™, friendly with everyone all the time and cuddly and cute, and loyal unto death and all sunshine and rainbows–just basically a stuffed animal, to be cuddled and bring joy to everyone but not actually have a personality. She’s not interesting, and the only importance she ever has to the plot is being dragged through the portal in book two, which was so cliché and blatantly emotionally manipulative that I just rolled my eyes.

I am really sick of animal sidekicks having no other purpose than to be deliriously happy and stare at their owners adoringly and try to defend them to the death from allll the scaaawy things.

Let me tell you about my heart horse, Jingles.

He was a pain in the butt.

He was a funny-looking mutt with a pathetically short tail, and lots of people didn’t like him because of his “stubbornness.” He was really very biddable and tolerant, but also confident and independent, so if you didn’t be consistent and follow through, he’d just ignore you.

He and I, however, got on famously. But that doesn’t mean it was all sunshine and roses and he had no personality when he was with me. He wasn’t actually very demonstrative. He didn’t show affection by nuzzling or nickering or whatever stereotypical horse things. He was a lot more subtle. We clicked personality-wise, and that meant we could generally read each other very well, but that doesn’t mean it was always that way. Sometimes he didn’t understand, or just had other opinions, and we got frustrated with each other.

He also would nip, hard, in play. And used to not pick up his feet. And had very little concept of personal space or leading manners.

Even so, there was one day where he saved me from falling off twice in the same lesson. When I sent him forward again, he walked on eggshells until he was sure I would stay on.

But he wouldn’t have defended me from a cougar or something. He would have run away.

Real animals have off days. Real animals have personalities. Real animals require lots of time and effort to work out of behavioral problems, and the personality traits underlying those behavioral problems may never go away.

So it pisses me off. It really pisses me off when I see normal, non-magical animal companions being portrayed this way. This is the only exposure to animals that some kids have! I was one of those kids, and when I finally got riding lessons I thought all the horses hated me because they didn’t do that falling-at-your-feet-in-adoration crap.

But, sure, do some animals do this? YES. Especially dogs. But those individuals also have a personality besides that. As of book 2, I haven’t even seen F1eetfoot have likes and dislikes, aside from stereotypical boring doggy favorites like being petted, sleeping on the bed, and playing fetch. I can’t even remember her running around being silly, or doing anything wrong ever.

Wow, many personality. I’m such impressed.

Sardines acquiring F1eetfoot in book 1 is the equivalent of the “angsty teenage city girl goes to estranged relative’s ranch and meets a wild misunderstood stallion whom she instantly tames to prove to everyone how awesome they are” story that I loathe, but with a dog.

I can’t even say, “and an assassin,” because Sardines is the worst assassin ever.

Lastly, let’s talk about that portal scene.

F1eetfoot gets dragged through because she was too injured to run away from the ridderak.

Then, afterwards, when all are being tended, we get this brilliant line:

It was only a long scratch, but it was deep.

It was only a long scratch, but it was deep.

It was only a long scratch, but it was deep.

IT WAS ONLY A LONG SCRATCH, BUT IT WAS DEEP.

For the love of N3hemia, do not do this.

1) Do not contradict yourself. Do not say, “Pff it’s just a scratch,” and then say, “IT’S DEEP ZOMG.”

Dictionary.com defines “scratch” as, “a slight injury, mar, or mark, usually thin and shallow, caused by scratching.” Please do not state that a bad wound is a scratch. There are lots of other words for that, such as, “cut,” “gash,” “slash,” or “laceration.” Use them!

Simple rewrite: “It was a bad gash, but she would recover well.”

2) Don’t portray a crippling injury as being minor unless you actually mean to portray the character as being whiny and pathetic, and/or having no sense of self-preservation—and be especially wary when you’re talking about an animal.

Animals have excellent survival instincts, and dogs are known for being especially good at getting around on three legs! There is no way in hell a bad gash would stop F1eetfoot from running away from that ridderak! She is not a helpless, cuddly stuffed animal. She is a living, breathing dog. She would have to have something as drastic as a serious blow to the head or a broken back or hamstrung legs to be unable to run away.

#StopWritingAnimalsAsMajikalTeddyBears2k17

This snark is dedicated to Jingles.