sometimes meaning at least 5 times a day

It's been almost two months...

With a subject heading like that the initial assumption is probably that it’s been two months in chastity, or two months since I came. Neither of these is true. It has simply been two months since my Wife and I started on our journey towards FLR.

I say journey towards it, even though you could argue that it really is a black and white scenario. You’re either in one, or you aren’t. That’s probably the first misconception that these two months have dispelled. Our roles seem to be constantly changing and evolving, and the evolution is very much an “x steps forward, y steps back” type. While my Wife is very much the one in charge, sometimes the responsibility becomes too much of a burden and it leads to stresses that force Her to retreat from Her power. I’m so proud of Her strength though, and also Her willingness to appear fallible. I think there would be a great temptation to hide that, but Her showing it really does increase Her power in my eyes. It’s strange that embracing our weaknesses usually makes us stronger. Well, perhaps not so much strange as obvious.

My initial hope had been to catalogue every step of the journey in as straight a way as possible. While I love reading erotically charged posts, I wanted to provide a dry commentary on the realities of embarking on a true FLR for those interested in following this path. The problem is, since my Wife took control of my orgasms I am in something of a permanent state of heightened sexuality. Funnily enough that has led to a struggle with my own judgments of myself. I have never been the ‘guy who only thinks about sex’, (probably because I’ve been masturbating at least 5 times a week since before I could even cum. Sometimes 5 times in a night) and I took pride in that. Now I find that every moment of every day has an ever present hint of sex. Part of me is overjoyed to be 'normal’, and the other part feels shamed at being 'just another man thinking with his dick’. It’s confronting and I find myself apologising for making everything about sex. It also means that 'dry’ attempts at journaling soon devolve into charged accounts of precum leaking onto the sheets while I go down on my Queen once again.

Instead, I’ll offer here some random thoughts from the last two months.
• The time She said I have to 'earn’ chastity, forcing me to acknowledge that it is my desire, and not something 'forced’ upon me.
• The moment when She said I could cum after a month of no release, and I felt conflicted - desperate for the orgasm, but sad that my heightened state of constant arousal would soon explode out of me, and I would go 'back to normal’ until I could build it back up again. I did cum in the end. The orgasm was possibly my most intense, but I carried a palpable feeling of loss for the next two days
• I’ve been surprised by the sexually charged joy of doing the laundry. Each time I hang Her clothes I feel a spark of excitement. I’m sure it will fade in time, but it’s still there after two months.
• Something else that I have noticed is that cum occasionally just 'spills’ out of me. It’s the oddest sensation and I’ve come to cherish it. It feels almost like I’m about to pee, but then a substantial 'load’ (maybe a half teaspoons worth) will just leak out. It’s different to precum, but thicker than urine. It’s odd and fascinating.

This is all a bit train of thought, I just wanted to fire off a quick post so I could actually get started doing it, rather than just planning it in my head. So far, here’s what I will say after two months:

If you are thinking about embarking on this journey don’t wait. Do it. It is not easy. As submissive as you think you are, you going to be challenged, and your probably going to find out just how submissive you aren’t. But stick with it. It will take work, but it is so worth it. And if you are like me and you thought your Wife/Girlfriend would never go for it, just take the plunge. Be honest and open.

BUT, don’t empty the whole toy chest on them. For me, it was as simple as saying that I wanted to learn to love Her better, and that I thought that tying my sexual release to Her, and only Her would help facilitate that. You don’t need to go into detail of your fantasies (unless She asks) because they’re just that; yours. You need to be willing to surrender them. If you really want it, then Her fantasies will become your fantasies. Even if they’re a little too tame for you to begin with. Trust me, once She starts in this path, She can get plenty dirty. And it is so worth it.

anonymous asked:

Sorry if this is a bit of a weird question, but I think I read somewhere on your blog (when you were answering questions about your profession) you meditate? Could I ask how you do that? Meditate, I mean? Thanks, hope you have a great day!

Yes, I do. I’ve been doing that randomly whenever I have felt a need for it since I was 19, but recently I decided to start meditate daily for at least 15 minutes.

Meditating is super easy! Basically it just means calming down and shutting the whirling mass of thoughts for at least 15 minutes. It gets easier the longer you do it, like any other hobby or activity, so there’s really no need to feel like a failure or similar if you can’t stay calm for 15 minutes at the beginning.

Here’s easy way to do it.

1) Sit or lay down in a quiet place, where you won’t be disturbed. Turn off all notifications from mobile devices ect. so your meditation won’t get disturbed by any extra noise (trust me; if you are startled from a deep meditation, it physically HURTS.)

2) You can be in a silence or concentrate on listening something; ambient sounds, ASRM music, zen music, special meditative and relaxation music ect. Youtube is full of awesome tracks you can listen to. Concentrate on really listening what you are hearing. 

3) Make yourself comfortable. I like to lay down as it relaxes the best. Remember to take calm, deep breaths at first. Deep breathing relaxes: for example one reason why smoking calms people down is that they take deep breaths in and breathe long breaths out while smoking. 

4) Enjoy yourself! Your body might get numb or tingling; that’s normal. You might have sudden emotional outbursts or feelings; that’s normal, too (means you are relaxing, letting go of resistance and it opens up emotional valves). 

5) Stop as soon as you start to feel exhausted or tired. Try some other time again. Meditation is supposed to be calm and relaxing. 

6) Meditate either at the beginning of the day or before going to bed. You can meditate as often during a day as you want to. 

7) Meditate 15 minutes daily at least for 2 weeks to see the effects in you the best. You can meditate more than that, if you want and if the meditation flows nicely. Sometimes I think 15 minutes has passed just to see it’s been 60 minutes! Time really flies when you get in the meditative zone.

Other things:

If you fall asleep during meditation, that’s completely fine!

It’s completely normal that some days you stay easily in meditation and some days it’s harder. Just like you have days when your hobbies or activities just flow and turn out nice, and then you have days when it just doesn’t work. 

If you mind wanders, don’t worry; correct it back to listening again. In meditation focusing is the work you do. 

If your imagination starts to put you into a nice place, like on a Caribbean sea shore or into your dream house’s bedroom, let it do so. You can imagine yourself freely to any relaxing place. When I meditate I often end up in my imagination to the place from the ambient sounds I’m listening (in a car during a rain, in pirate captain’s cozy cabin, into a garden, into a small creek with clear water ect.) - or to some other place like into my dream house’s living room! 


If you feel like you can’t do meditation alone, search for guided meditation audios from Youtube. Sometimes it’s A LOT easier to relax and let go when you have to concentrate on listening someone’s instructions.

Something I try to explain to people all the time about their medications is this. When you notice your pill count getting low, try to call your pharmacy at least 5 days early. Sometimes we have to manually order a Medication from the manufacturer and that might take a few days to get it in. Sometimes Medications are on back order which essentially means the Manufacturer isn’t currently making the drug for lord knows what reason. So we might have to call the doctor and see what else we can do. So yeah, for your own ease and convenience try to let your pharmacy know at least 5 days early.

‼️ IMPORTANT‼️
ok swifties it’s less than a weak for the album release which means it’s gonna leak sometime or the other.
Here are a few tips from my side:
(1) DON’T SPREAD IT
[Even if you find a leak don’t spread it]

(2)REPORT IT TO @taylorswift or @taylornation

Also we can’t stop it from leaking as it happens all the time but all we can do is report it.

last but not the least-
IT’S NOT GONNA AFFECT TAYLOR’S SALES!
[It would have affected her sales if it would be leaked a week or 2 before but now there’s only 5 days left still we have to do our best to report these people]

I don´t look sick?

Yes, because I do the following things:

1. Taking 40 pills per day

2. One Medication Inhalation per day

3. Twice a week swimming (or any other sports if I can handle it)

4. Cooking fresh and healthy every day

5. sleep at least 8 hours per day (no hour less!)

6. 8 doctors appointments per year (minimum)

7. Collect Informations about digestion, Vitamins, Nutrition, etc. (in my Free Time!)

8. rest the complete weekend

9. no partying, no alcohol, no cigareets (OMG WHAT A LOSS - Joke!)

10. not more than two apponitments/dates/meet ups per week

11. enough rest (means sometimes I wanna do something like shopping for example and I have to cancel it because I know it´s better for my body)

And now let me tell you what would happen if I wouldn´t do all of this. I would be death by now.

NEVER EVER AGAIN TELL ME THAT I DON`T LOOK SICK!

(and this is not even that much what I do! I DO know people who have to work out every day, have 3 medication inhalations per day, have to go to the hospital 3 time a year for 2 weeks etc.)

anonymous asked:

You often discuss how much life has been teaching you lately, what exactly have you learnt?

1. The human mind is powerful beyond measure. And although it can be a great asset, if used incorrectly, it can also lead to self-destruction. Be conscious of the thoughts you are cultivating within your mental space.

2. There is no shame in being left. It happens to the best of us.

3. Be present at all times. Put your phone down. Enjoy the people around you. Nothing is more real than the moment you are currently in.

4. Question everything. Seek explanations. Never think you know enough. 

5. Dig for gratitude within you, even on the worst of days. There is always something to be thankful for.

6. Experience can be so painful that sometimes it tricks us into thinking that we aren’t evolving as individuals. We are.

7. Just because the idea of someone is nice, perhaps even heavenly, does not always mean that they are like that in reality.

8. People will surprise you. People will disappoint you. More often times than not, it’s those whom we least expect it from.

9. Actions will always prove more than words.

10. Alcohol and feelings do not mix.

11. Being soft does not mean you are weak. 

12. It’s imperative to detach yourself from needing things to turn out a certain way. 

13. Never allow anyone to make you feel like you are “too much”. 

14. Be critical of yourself, but never harsh. Instead of tearing yourself down for your mistakes and regrets, use them to motivate you from preventing future ones.

15. The past is the past. Time cannot be rewinded, no matter how desperately you sometimes wish it could be.

16. There will be people who walk into your story and awaken your soul with no intention of staying. It will hurt like hell, and that is okay. 

17. Your time and energy are valuable. Choose what/who you invest them in wisely.

18. Everything that truly matters in this life is invisible to the eye.

19. Feeling lost is natural. Figure things out at your own pace and never, ever compare your progress to that of others’.

20. You cannot force people to want you. Anything and anyone worth keeping should/will come naturally. You should never have to feel as though you’re begging for another being’s attention/love. Those who value you will always demonstrate it.

21. Not everyone will share the same perspective as you. That doesn’t necessarily make them wrong, nor does it make you wrong. There simply isn’t one correct way of viewing the world.

22. It is what it is. Work with what you have been given. Do not resist it. 

23. Don’t allow your anger and bitterness to speak for you. Words cut deep and they are seldom forgotten. Even when you feel like exploding, use your strength to remain gentle. The consequences are almost never worth it.

24. Change is uncomfortable, but it is necessary. You will eventually adapt.

25. Always ask yourself whether the things that are currently stressing you will matter in the future. If the answer is yes, you know they are important. If the answer is no, do your best to let them go.

26. Your mental health comes first. Never feel guilty about needing time and space away from those around you. The people who genuinely care will not hold it against you. 

27. There is so much pleasure to be found in the small things.

28. Self-expression is therapeutic. Find healthy ways to partake in it.

29. Most of the answers to the questions you’re asking are already within you. 

30. The way others see you will never be as important as the way you see yourself.

31. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Trust your gut.

32. The sky looks best between 6 and 7 AM.

33. There is nothing wrong with enjoying that which is not considered mainstream. Be proud and passionate about your interests, they make you unique.

34. Listen more, talk less.  

35. Growth is circular, not linear. You will fall time and time again, that is inevitable, but you will definitely get better at getting back up.

3

Heyyyy, my family can’t afford to pay bills so uh ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ 

Rules:

  1. I want to be paid first~
  2. I am only willing to draw a maximum of two people at once! More than one character is going to be at least another $5 base.
  3. I will only accept payment through paypal.
  4. Let me know if you want process work.
  5. Tell me if there is a time limit–I’m usually a quick worker but I have off days, and sometimes a time limit kicks me into gear.
  6. I am willing to draw Fanart, OCs, and furries!
  7. I will NOT draw anything ns/fw.

Send me a message for more details!!

(If you can’t buy or are uninterested, please consider reblogging, it’ll mean the world to me)