sometimes i wish you would leave me


FAVORITE MOMENTS OF TID (3/∞) Will reading to Tessa

“Sometimes I fear you might be too wise, Tessa.”
“Well,” she said. “One of us has to be.”
“Is there anything I can do?” he said. “I would rather not leave your side. Unless you wish me to.”
Tessa let her gaze fall to the bedside table, where the books she had been reading before the automaton attack on the Institute - it felt like a thousand years ago - lay stacked. “You could read to me,” she said. “If you do not mind.”
Will looked up at that and smiled. It was a raw, strange smile, but it was real, and it was Will. Tessa smiled back. “I do not mind,” he said. “Not at all.”

Muse || Peter Parker

Prompt - Y/N is an artist who tends to find inspiration in others, as in she draws other people, and she draws Peter the most. He sees one of her drawings of him and asks her about it. FLUFFY!

Warning - none. 

A/N: haven’t written anything in awhile and this might be a little short. Besides, I was getting bored. I am also in the midst of writing some smutty sin, so you can look forward to that. 

not my gif

Originally posted by gryffinclaw-in-wilde-times

She was a creative person, incredibly above average when it came to expressing her imagination. Her art was aesthetically pleasing to the eye, those who saw it wondered how a girl of such a young age could possibly make something so realistic. She had a talent for capturing the person’s essence in every drawing, or portrait to be more specific.

She drew everyone, whether they noticed it or not. 

But there was one person who she absolutely loved to draw.

That person was Peter Parker. 

The boy in the layered sweaters and graphic t-shirts. 

She adored that boy’s physique because to her drawing him came like second nature. In her drawings, his fluffy brown hair would be perfectly styled, his clothes exactly the way he had them; disheveled. 

But there had been one day when he had been late to school. He walked into their shared class, his hair tousled, his clothes in disarray. He had ran his hand through his wild morning hair in an attempt to tame it, and at that moment Y/N had already pulled out her sketchbook to draw his rugged appearance that captivated her so much. 

She watched him for the duration of the class period to get his features perfect. Nobody noticed her watching him, it was a normal sight to see her staring at someone. Everyone knew that she was an artist and that she drew anyone that captured her eye, some people took it as a compliment, others didn’t. 

She loved that drawing, she was proud of it. 

Everyday she drew someone new, and among those new drawings was always an even better drawing of Peter. 

In the beginning, when she first started drawing him she barely knew his name, she was just intrigued by his noticeable Star Wars t-shirt. But then as time went on, she became more infatuated with the young genius. 

She tried talking to him but the moment she caught a glimpse of those chocolate brown eyes, her face would become warm and her eyes were immediately back on her sketchbook. He was her muse. 

She found comfort in sketching his cheekbones, his jawline, his nose, his beautiful hair. It enraptured her. 

She was in her last class of the day, off to the side in the last row of desks. Peter sat directly to her left.

She had already finished her classwork so she pulled out her almost completed sketchbook and opened it to an empty page, her pencils were already laid out waiting for her to use them. 

She didn’t really mind if he noticed her drawing him, maybe he’d want to talk to her about it and then she’d actually be able to talk to him without being a shy idiot about it. 

She began with the outline of his face. She had done these steps so many times that she could probably do them in her sleep. 

She continued to sketch him, but she was so engrossed in her drawing that she didn’t notice Peter’s eyes flickering to her paper. He recognized the face as his own and his eyebrows furrowed together. 

She’s drawing me. She’s actually drawing me,’ he thought. 

A ghostly grin etches its way onto his face as he watches her, the pencil running over the paper, her index finger smudging the graphite for the appropriate shading, her bottom lip in between her teeth in concentration. 

He noticed that she didn’t even need to glance at him to complete her drawing. Unknown to him, but she had his face permanently etched into her brain. 

The bell rang signaling that it was finally time for the poor students to go home. Y/N packed up her stuff but carried her sketchbook in her arms. 

As the students began to excitedly file out of the room, Peter followed behind Y/N to try and talk to her. 

Y/N liked to take her time when she left school because she didn’t really like being in a crowded subway surrounded by tons of people, downside to living in New York. She walked slowly as she let her beat-up converse hit the newly polished school floors. 

Peter tapped her shoulder making her turn around. When she saw that familiar face looking down at her with a gentle grin, her heart fluttered. 

“Hey,” she said trying to make it seem like she wasn’t dying to run her fingers through his fluffy hair. 

“Uh hi, I’m-uh, I’m Peter,” he managed to say, she smiled at his nervousness. 

“Yeah, I know. You’re in most of my classes, you’re not invisible,” she clutches her sketchbook tightly in her arms. 

He’s talking to me. He’s actually talking to me,’ she thought.

He blushed cherry red, “I um, I noticed you drawing me during class and I-” she wanted to let him finish but she had to ask. 

“I didn’t make you uncomfortable, did I?” She asked, he shook his head vigorously.

“No! No, you didn’t make me uncomfortable. I just know that you draw everyone and I was curious as to why you were drawing me,” he explains.

“Because you’re beautiful,” she blurts out without processing the words as they left her mouth. 

Peter’s grin then turns into a full blown smile, cheeks blazing red. 

Y/N knew that she should feel embarrassed about what she had just said to the object of her artistic affection, but she wasn’t embarrassed. 

“You think I’m…beautiful?” He couldn’t stop smiling, his cheeks were hurting from how hard he was smiling but he couldn’t help it. 

A gorgeous and talented girl had just called him beautiful.

“Yeah. You’re my muse, my inspiration,” she wished she would just stop talking, but she had already started so there was no point in stopping.

“I know it’s a bit awkward but I-I draw you all the time, I find your features…fascinating,” she tells him, he chuckles. 

“Well maybe we could hang out sometime and you can draw me as much as you’d like,” he offers awkwardly sliding his hands into his pockets, she hides her absolute joy by looking down at her sneakers as her cheeks turn a bright red. 

“Um yeah, yeah I’d like that,” she accepts.


They leave the school together and he walks her home only for her to insist that he stay so she could take him up on his offer of making another portrait of him. He accepted, but this time it wasn’t a drawing…it was a painting. 

He flipped through the pages of her sketchbook as she prepared the materials that she needed for the painting. 

“Don’t you ever get tired of drawing me? I mean, I’m nothing special.”

She laughs, “Not at all, like I said…you’re my muse.”



A/N: I hope this was satisfying enough. I’ll probably be posting another fic this week because I’m having lots of inspiration. <3 

I often miss you and not in the way I used to. You were my first love, my first sight of what I wanted in my future and so much more. I fell so in love with you so extremely fast and I often wish that wasn’t the case. You were only in my life for a few years, but somehow your presence still lingers here. I wish that you would just go. Take all of your lies, your false promises and your excuses and just leave my life. I’m not good enough and I never was good enough for you. I know you aren’t the man I need in my life to make me a better woman. But sometimes I wish you would’ve stayed just a little longer so I could’ve figured that out on my own. Because sitting here, missing you, wondering why you chose her has made me a person I never wanted to be. In love with someone who never loved me, and unable to let anyone break down the walls I have built to keep the memories of you out. So please, if there ever comes a day you decide you miss me, please just stay the hell away from me. I was never good enough. I was too young, too naive, too in love. Whatever you want to say, just know I would’ve done anything for you and I wake up every day trying to kill off the memory of you.
Thank you for breaking me in a way I didn’t know was possible.
But more importantly, thank you for making me who I am today.
Without you walking out and completely breaking me, I wouldn’t stand as tall as I do.
Thank you. Now get out of my head.
12.16 coda

AAAAAND we’re back, lovelies! As usual, if you’d like to be added to my master taglist, shoot me a message and I’ll stick you onto the next one!

It feels wrong for some reason not telling Castiel that Claire shows up on their case in Wisconsin, but he’s been swallowing that bullshit about “giving people space” for months now and he’s trying to do right by her at least. Let her make her own choices. Besides, it’s kind of nice having her tag along. She’s a pretty cool kid.

He should have called the minute he figured out what Mick was up to. He knows he should have. But it all happens so fast with the bite and the cure and he’s too busy blaming everyone in that room for what’s happening to his - to Claire. His hand, his hand shoved that poisonous needle into Claire’s skin, he as good as killed her himself. “I need some air.” He yanks on the doorknob like he wants to rip Mick’s head off his body and and steps out into the cold night air.

For a minute all he can do is stand on the threshold, chest heaving. He’s frozen to the front step, a terrible ringing in his ears.

And then he hears another high-pitched, agonized scream. It scares him into moving.

Keep reading

Cracks || BTS Suga

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1340

Part 2 

You tried to understand that your boyfriend was busy being in an idol group and all. Tours, recordings, music broadcasts, and promotions were tiring. Therefore, you always tried to stay out of his way and cope with the loneliness. It was hard, but you didn’t want to be in his way. You saw your friends more than your own boyfriend. You envied them. Their boyfriends were always texting them or there for them. Yoongi, on the other hand, was always busy. Even when your grandmother passed away, he wasn’t there to comfort you. You never told him. It was hard for you, but you tried to always put on a strong front and smile in front of Yoongi. You didn’t want to be a burden to him.

You don’t know where it went wrong. He was so caring and affectionate toward you in the beginning. After 3 years of dating, however, he stopped texting you every morning, afternoon, and night. Soon, the texts disappeared and so did Yoongi. He stayed at the dorm all the time now. You haven’t seen him for months and he didn’t bother to text or call you.

“You need to be selfish for once noona.”

You were hanging out with Bangtan’s maknae line and Jimin was starting to worry about your relationship with his hyung. You brought lunch over for them knowing they would probably skip it, like always. They were too engrossed in practice to know that their bodies were starving.

“Yeah, Jimin is right. We’ve never seen Yoongi hyung act affectionate with you. You’re always texting us to check up on hyung. That’s not right.”

You thought Jimin and Taehyung were right, but you just couldn’t. You knew if this kept going, one of you will start to fall out of love. This relationship would become toxic.

“Why don’t you go and take the lunches to the hyungs. We’ll continue to practice after eating.”

“Okay Kookie. Remember to rest before going back to practice. You’ll get stomach cramps.”

They nodded and you left to find the other 4. You found them all in the recording studio talking and laughing. Hoseok was the first to jump up and hug you.

“(Y/N) noona!”

He hugged you and you laughed. You were always close to Hobi cause you and him were closest in age.

“Hey Hobi! Hey Namjoon, Seokjin oppa.”

They all hugged you, except for your own boyfriend. You were kind of disappointed, but you quickly got rid of the disappointment in your eyes and held out the lunches you had made for the boys.

“I know you guys would probably skip lunch like always, so I bought you guys something to eat. It may not be as good as Seokjin oppa’s, but it’s edible. The other 3 already tried it.”

“Ey, your food is delicious. But you know, if you need any help with anything, I’m here to help!”

“Thank you oppa.”

Everyone except Yoongi grabbed a lunch box from the bag. The other 3 quickly sensed the tension between the 2 of you and left the 2 of you to talk. You stood there awkwardly as Yoongi went back to work. After a few minutes of just standing, you grabbed a lunchbox and opened it. You set it down in front of Yoongi and turned his chair around.

“Please, take a break and eat.”

“I’m busy if you can’t sense that already.”

Your heart cracked. His harsh tone was enough to cause tears to form.

“I know, but you should at least eat a little. Just a bite?”

You were practically pleading at this point. He could be as cold as he wanted to you, but you wanted him to at least take care of himself. You pushed the lunchbox closer to him only to have it knocked out of your hands and onto his lyric notebook. Your eyes widened and you quickly grabbed his notebook from under the food. You knew how important it was to him. It was his life.


“I’m sor-”


“I said I was sorry. If you just complied.”

“Are you blaming me now? Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

Another crack in your heart.

That was your last straw. It hit some nerve that you never knew even existed. And neither did he.

“LEAVE YOU ALONE? I’VE LEFT YOU ALONE FOR MONTHS NOW! NOT A SINGLE TEXT OR CALL FOR 4 MONTHS AND YOU STILL WANT ME TO LEAVE YOU ALONE? Sometimes I wonder if we’re even in a relationship. You could at least send a text. I’m just asking for one simple, ‘hey’. Is that too much to ask for?”

He was taken aback from your sudden outburst. You were always a quiet person and you always kept calm even in the most frustrating situations.

“I was busy. What’s up with you? You never shout.”

Another crack.

“Maybe if you bothered to care, you would understand why all this is happening.”

“I don’t have time. I wish you would just understand me sometimes. I’m an idol. I can’t be there to comfort you through everything. If you waited a little more, I would’ve been home. Stop being so selfish.”

You were speechless. Everyone around you were right. You have been too nice to Yoongi. He has taken your love for him for granted. The tears you have been holding fell and now all your anger has become sadness.

“Maybe I don’t want to wait anymore. Maybe…maybe, I can’t wait anymore.”

With that, you left. You left him standing there still taken aback from not only your words, but also your tears. You left him to think about where this relationship went wrong. It took him a while to finally figure out that you didn’t just throw a tantrum and leave to cool off. You left him and your relationship with him.

“Hyung, how could you say that to noona?”

“Guys, I’m not in the mood.”

“How could you still say that?! You haven’t talken to her in 4 months. She has to check on her stupid boyfriend through us. She texted us to make sure you were eating, sleeping, and taking care of yourself. She’s texted all of us because she didn’t want to bother you. She’s been understanding. She has been waiting for you and here you are. Working.”

Namjoon scoffed. Jimin shoved 6 phones onto the desk Yoongi was working at. There were endless conversations with you. You telling them to make sure he was alright and healthy. There was even a group chat he wasn’t a part of. And then there was his phone. Empty. Not a single text since 4 months ago. As he finished reading, a sound from everyone’s phone.

(Y/N) : You won’t be hearing from me for a while. Good luck on your comeback. Please don’t tell Yoongi. I’m just a burden.

Hoseok quickly snatched his phone and texted back. After getting another text, he turned to Yoongi and held his phone out for him to see the conversation he just had with you.

Hobi: Where are you going? Please tell me you aren’t leaving.

(Y/N): Remember that offer I got at work to work on a fashion show in Paris. I decided to accept. I’m going to be gone for at least a year or maybe I’ll just stay there.

Yoongi froze. You were leaving. You were leaving him and never coming back. He looked up quickly when he heard another text come in.

(Y/N): Guys, I’m leaving in 2 weeks to Paris. Please don’t tell Yoongi. Tell him I met some other guy or you guys make up some excuse.

You still thought of him even though he didn’t even glance at you for 4 months. Yoongi started to cry. He just ruined a great relationship. He just ruined what could’ve been his wife and the mother to his children. He made the woman he loved the most leave.

anonymous asked:

Can you make a bullet point at bedtime? (Not sexual)

  • Brushing your teeth together
  • Making goofy faces at each other in the mirror
  • Having a little competition about who brushes the longest
  • Shawn chocking on the toothpaste and losing 
  • “Loser”
  • “Shut up”
  • Shawn stroking his nose against yours while grabbing for a towel
  • You humming Ed Sheeran while removing your make up
  • Shawn leaning against the doorframe, staring at you smiling widely
  • “What?”
  • “I just love you”
  • Shawn watching you undress yourself
  • Him handing you one of his white t-shirts
  • Shawn drying your newly washed hair
  • “All done” 
  • And then grabbing around your head, planting a big kiss on the top of your hair
  • Catching each other’s gaze in the mirror and smiling
  • Forehead kisses
  • Shawn wrapping his hand around yours
  • Pulling you with him to bed
  • Lying on Shawn’s chest listening to his heartbeat
  • Your fingers brushing against his naked chest
  • His nose tip stroking you lovingly
  • “I love when you fall asleep in my arms”
  • “It’s my safe place”
  • Tender kisses and caring touches
  • Shawn making sure the blanket covers you completely
  • “Are you warm enough?”
  • You cuddling even further into his chest
  • His fingers running through your hair
  • “Sometimes I wish we never had to leave this bed”
  • Wrapping your leg around his thigh
  • Shawn’s warm fingers gliding down your back
  • Talking about how your day went
  • And the plans for tomorrow
  • “I’d rather just stay here with you”
  • “You have a plane to catch tomorrow”
  • “Don’t remind me”
  • Using Shawn as your own personal pillow
  • Feeling the heat from his body warming you up slowly
  • Shawn spooning you
  • “Are you comfortable?” 
  • Then planting a soft kiss on your neck
  • “Do you know how much I love you?”
  • “How much?”
  • “This much” 
  • And then Shawn would hug you as tight as he could
  • “Air, Shawn, I need air”
  • Holding hands, your fingers wrapped around each other
  • Shawn’s finger tips stroking your earlobe 
  • Feeling his heavy breath against your skin
  • “Go to sleep, you’re tired Mendes”
  • “I haven’t have enough cuddles yet”
  • Shawn’s nose disappearing into your hair
  • You kissing his fingers wrapped around yours
  • Turning around in the bed to face him
  • Your eyes meeting each other
  • Tiny yet very loving smiles
  • Shawn’s thumb grabbing for your chin
  • Slowly closing the gap between your lips
  • Shawn giving you the sweetest little kiss
  • Pressing your forehead against his
  • “Goodnight princess”
  • “Goodnight, Shawn. I love you”
  • “I love you too babe, always” 

things are becoming blurry

but i remember a time when you used to tell me that you would never leave me
i don’t think i’ll ever believe that anymore
maybe that was just something i wanted to hear in the moment

i wonder if you remember 
are things becoming blurry for you as well?
i remember, but my eyes are feeling wetter

maybe i’m tired

i don’t understand

but sometimes i wish your words had held true
way back when you used to tell me that you’d never go
and sometimes i think about you
i miss you

even though thats not what i’m trying to do
i’m sorry
i shouldn’t have said anything

anonymous asked:

yoooo! I love all your guys's work sooo much!!! it makes me soo happy! Can i request u doing RFA + Saeran doin the Kabedon (lovingly trapping someone against a wall????) Tysm!!!!!!

aah thank you! people like you make us really happy too! <3 it’s been so long since i wrote anything else than smut whoops so forgive me if i’m a bit rusty (and bc this turned more suggestive that i planned)

((i added v as well bc he is my fave okay such a precious pastel babe but i couldn’t really think of a scenario for baehee, i’m so sorry))



  • Yooung came home to your shared appartment earlier than expected because his last class suddenly got cancelled
  • He didn’t mean to eavesdrop the conversation you appearantely were having with someone over the phone, he just heard you mention his name when he went to the kitchen to get a snack and got curious
  • “Nonono, Yoosung is great! He is as sweet and innocent as always! It’s almost so I sometimes wish he would be a bit rougher and not let me push him around, but he is the best boyfriend in the world so I don’t really have any rights to complain”
  • A bit disappointed that you felt this way he walked to the kitchen and started making dinner, smirking to himself when he heard you leave your room as soon as you smelled the food
  • “You’re home this early? You should’ve told me, I could have had dinner ready!”
  • He turned around and looked at you standing in the doorway for a moment before he walked over to you in long steps and trapped you against the wall, hand next to your face
  • “You wish I wouldn’t let me be pushed around, hm? Would you rather want me to be the one doing the pushing, sweetie? I don’t think you should ask for things you can’t handle”
  • Except from the faint blush tinting his cheek he was suprisingly cool, his deepened voice leaving you a stuttering puddle against the wall
  • “I-I…”
  • As he leaned closer you closed your eyes, expecting a kiss, but when it never came you opened them again to see him back by the stove
  • “Dinner is finshed!” he grinned cheekily and winked, leaving you pouty and needy for the next half hour before he decided to prove that he, despite your whining, could be rough


  • He had just landed a main role in a big musical, and as usual he wanted to practise with you to make it perfect
  • The play was pretty stereotypical with a girl from a rich family falling in love with a bad boy, with the two of them helping each other figure out who they wanted to be
  • Zen was wearing his old leather jacket to get properly into the role and it was doing things to you, to say it nicely
  • “Your father doesn’t need to know about us, princess. Do you really think I’ve never gotten away with things I shouldn’t be doing?”
  • The lustfull look he gave you was tempting you to throw away the script and throw yourself on him instead, but you took a deep breath and continued with the next line
  • “How can you make this sound so nice when you’re so bad for me? You know he will figure it out eventually, it’s better to stop this while we are ahead”
  • You turned away and pretended to leave, before you felt him gently push you against the wall, towering over you
  • “If you think I am going to let you walk out of my life this easy, you’re wrong. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, babe. What can I do to prove that?”
  • At this point you weren’t even sure if he was sticking to the script, you sure as hell weren’t when you decided to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer to kiss him
  • “Well, first of all, don’t you dare look at someone else that way. Second, you need to help me with something…” you mumbled into the kiss as you moved the hand next to your head down between your legs


  • We all know Jumin can be a tad bit possessive
  • So when the client he was trying to make a deal with flirted with you, he was silently fuming
  • He didn’t interfere as he didn’t want to show that side of him and ruin the deal, he trusted you enough to know that you wouldn’t leave him for a desperate guy like that
  • And lord knows he has accepted flirting to make deals go through
  • His problem however, was that you didn’t even seem to realize he was flirting - you were just being your charming, natural self and it drove him crazy
  • Jumin did feel a bit of pride when you convinced his client to make a really good deal, but as soon as the other man left the room and you stood up, ready to call it a day, you were trapped against the closest wall
  • “While I do appreciate you helping me with deals, it’s not in your place to flirt with other men. Why don’t you be a good kitten and wait for me in the car? I will tell Jaehee to reschedule the rest of the meetings today, it seems like I have more important matters to take care of”
  • He was teasingly close to you the entire time, making you able to feel his warm breath against your skin, but just far enough away for you to be unable to kiss him
  • You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding when he took a step back, shaking off any inappropriate thoughts the little encounter gave you before you followed his order


  • Seven had promised to actually go outside the house with you today, he needed a break and you desperately needed something else than chips to eat
  • As he didn’t dare letting you go to the grocery store alone he reluctantly agreed, “as soon as he finished this”, claiming that it would take no more than 10 minutes
  • Half an hour later you were still sitting on the couch waiting for him, deciding that enough is enough
  • “Are we leaving soon, or? I’m going alone unless you finish within the next twenty seconds!”
  • You were leaning against the doorframe, counting the seconds down out loud while you slowly turned to leave
  • As you finished your counting and took the step out of his room you heard his office chair roll back, and you grinned victoriously to yourself as your plan finally worked
  • “Babe, wait, why can’t we just stay home? I will order groceries online, no need to leave”
  • You didn’t even finish your outburst of protest before he had you trapped against the wall, giving you a seductive look
  • “Let me rephrase that. Babe, let’s stay home. I will make sure you have other things that chips to eat tonight, don’t you worry about that”
  • He winked and returned to his computer, pretending not to care about the state he left you in
  • shooketh and horny
  • “How can you convince me every single time… Fine. But you better be finished soon”
  • He just blew you a kiss and laughed


  • I have mentioned it before but this guy loves trapping you against things, hiding you from the world with his big frame to create a little world on your own
  • Which means you should have grown accustomed to it and always be prepared for it, but somehow he always gets you when you’re unprepared
  • LIke that time when you were just taking a nice walk in the park near your house when he suddenly wanted to have a photoshoot with you, which you initially refused as you weren’t even wearing nice clothes
  • He eventually convinced you to do just a few pictures for him, and he had you leaning against a three
  • “Could you somehow try to look more relaxed, angel? You’re so tense, I want to capture you when you look vulnerable”
  • You frowned, not sure how to fullfill his request, before he walked towards you and casually leaned against the tree trunk, blocking your line of sight
  • “My love, I know you’re able to look vulnerable, I see it whenever you’re pinned beneath me. You’re so pretty like that, you know? So pretty for me”
  • He leaned closer and your breath hitched, but he pulled away right before your lips met and returned to his previous position with the camera in his hands
  • “There we go, that’s the look I wanted. Sorry to play it dirty, love” he chuckled and snapped a few photos

Saeran (major spoilerinos if you haven’t played the v route!)

  • “MC, I’m back! I’m sorry I took so long, I saw these pretty flowers and they reminded me of you, so I thought you would enjoy them!”
  • With a suprised expression you accepted the flower bouqet from his gloved hands, laying it on the table in the room
  • “Thank you, they’re really pretty, but I’ve been meaning to ask you… When can I go home?”
  • His brows furrowed and you could see his hopeful expression turn sad and pouty as he looked down at the floor
  • “You’re free to walk around the building and in the garden, but you can’t leave. You need to test the game, remember? I can’t do it without your help!”
  • While you did feel bad for this sweet man who had taken care of you for these last days, you felt anxious about this whole situation
  • You saw the open door behind him and decided that he was too gentle to really do anything to stop you, so you walked towards it, wanting to escape
  • boi were you wrong
  • Before you even got out the door it was being pushed close, with you gently pushed against it and his face dangerously close to yours
  • “Why do you want to leave me so badly? I’m willing to give you everything you want… Am I not enough for you? Please, I will do better. I will give you all my attention, if it means you will stay with me”
  • The hand that wasn’t pinned next to your head gently caressed your cheek, forcing you to look into his eyes
  • “I-I won’t leave you”
  • He smiled relieved as those words left your mouth and took a step back
  • “I will tell the saviour that you will take the elixir then, and be happy with me forever”

are these kabedon or just dirty talk, scientists can’t tell

The Way You Are

Request: I was wondering if i could request a bucky x reader where the reader has a facination with buckys metal arm & is always playing with his metal fingers when they cuddle but buckys insecure about his arm so reader is really reassuring? If so ty in adv!

Summary: Reader is always staring at Bucky’s arm.. He thinks she’s afraid. She knows she’s fascinated. 

Bucky Barnes X Reader 

Word Count: 1362

A/N: I hope this is okay!! I’ve read a bunch like this, so I wanted to try and make it a little different!! Hopefully it’s not terrible xoxo (I know, I suck at summaries AND titles..)

Keep reading

Bellamy Blake Imagine: Deepest Wish

Requested by @jazminblake

Summary: There is once again a party in the camp and everyone is partying except Bellamy who’s keeping watch, but mostly watches reader, who is dancing, laughing and singing, which makes him smile. Later she decides to keep him a company but eventually falls asleep. Bellamy takes her to her tent and is about to leave but reader stops him, because she’s done feeling alone.

Word count: 2502

Song: She’s crazy, but she’s mine

Originally posted by bisexualbellamyblake

Bellamy sat leaned against the tree a little afar from the centre of the party. Just as always he was keeping an eye on the delinquents who were partying, but his eyes were specifically trained on Y/N. The girl that had stolen his heart.

He felt a smile grew on his own lips as he watched her dancing and singing around the fire with that fairy laugh of hers echoing trough the whole camp. Her hair was waving around her and her eyes were lit up as she was having fun with her friends.

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Pairing: Sam x Reader

Summary: Sam takes the reader into the woods for a romantic night, but what she tells him causes a shift in the mood.

Word Count: 1,294

Warnings: semi-public smut (they’re in the middle of the woods), Sam being sweet and adorable, fluff

A/N: My first [decent] aesthetic! Told from Sam’s POV. Inspired by this song.

Laying in the bed of my old truck, the wind whirled around us, cool air running over the skin left uncovered by the blanket I’d brought along. My lips connected with the soft skin of her neck, barely touching, the warmth from my lips and breath leaving a spot that was especially affected by the chill. She gasped in sharply, her hands came up to grip at my shoulders as I moved to hover over her.

Her head leaned back on the balled up t-shirt she was using as a pillow, and the speakers permitted faint bumps of bass drum beats to come through the windows. The bed liner rumbled under her back, but all I could focus on was the pounding in her chest, like her heart was physically trying to jump up at me.

The chilled breeze whipped around us, following my fingers through her hair. If I could commit one thing about this night to my memory for the rest of my life, it would be the way [Y/N] looked. The moon was so bright, shining down and illuminating her in ways the sun never could, casting shadows of the trees across her face and body. 

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anonymous asked:

Fic wars prompt! I recently read an interview w/ David Harbour where he was talking about how if Hopper and Joyce ever did get together they would have "nightmare fights" bc of Hopper being prideful/emotionally shut down and unavailable. Can you write one of their nightmare fights? I am a sucker for angst! Love your writing (:

Jim Hopper was taking deep, calming breaths as the minutes on the clock in the Byers’s living-ticked by. 1:15, 1:30, 1:45… when he and the boys had managed to convince Joyce to go out and have a good normal Ladies’ Night with Karen Wheeler, she promised faithfully that she wouldn’t be about any later than 12:30 – not that Hopper begrudged her any extra fun, it was just that she had been so adamant that that was when she would glide through the front door and relieve Hopper of his babysitting duties. He cast a nervous glance towards the pup tent in the middle of the living-room; thank goodness Will and El were fast asleep, and not sharing in his terrible, devouring anxiety.

He leapt from the couch to the receiver on the wall in two bounds before the phone had a chance to ring a second time.


Oh, h-hey Hopper. Was just call-calling to to make sure Joycie got home safe.

“What do you mean, Karen? I thought you were dropping her off tonight.”

Karen’s exasperated chuckle floated through the line, causing his stomach to roil unpleasantly. Something that happened, and Karen was too sloshed to be concerned about it.

Well, yeah, except she got really irritated when I kept trying to introduce her to some very nice men. She just kinda stormed off. I’m sorry it took me so long to check on her, but I didn’t want to be rude to the boys, you know?

“What do you mean by ‘so long’?”

Karen hiccuped softly on the other end, and he heard her produce a low, contemplative hum.

Hell, I guess she musta started walking from LaVerne’s around quarter after 12.

Rather than scream himself hoarse over the phone – railing against Karen over how messed up it was to let a so-called good friend walk three miles home on a cold, February night –  Hopper slammed the handset back onto the receiver and rushed to the coat rack near the front door.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he cursed, before throwing the door open and stepping out into the cold. On the plus side, Hawkins was experiencing a mild heat wave; it was a balmy 20 degrees Fahrenheit – but it was still dangerous to walk alone at night, especially in a town that seemed to hover over the gates to Hell. Hopper felt something small and solid collide with his chest as he rushed down the stairs, eyes fixed on his truck.

“Ow! Jesus, Hopper, what have you been eating – steel beams?”

It was the most beautiful thing Hopper had ever heard in his life. He audibly gasped as relief flooded through his tense body as he looked down to see Joyce Byers, flat on her ass at the bottom of her porch steps, glaring up at him with the slightest, adorable pout on her trembling lips.

“Oh my God,” Hopper uttered, bending low to place his hands under her armpits and hoist her to her feet. Joyce slid a bit when he set her down, and he moved to steady her. “Sorry, I know you asked me to make Will salt the walk for you.”

“It’s fine, I’ll do it in the morning.”

It dawned on Hopper, quite suddenly, that it was nearly two in the morning, and that he had just gotten off of the phone with Karen Wheeler, who had informed him that Joyce had stormed off in a tizzy and took it upon herself to walk quite a distance home without calling him first. The warmth in his blood over her welcomed reappearance went supernova as it transformed into a hot rage that staggered him. His hands fell from her sides and balled into fists near his.


“Where were you? Karen was supposed to drop you off at 12:30.”

Joyce exhaled and brought up a hand to cup Hopper’s cheek. He jerked away from her touch like it was made of fire.

“Karen was being ridiculous, and we all had a little too much to drink. I walked home.”

“In the middle of the night. In February. In this town, of all places.”

Joyce rolled her eyes. “It’s not Indianapolis.”

“I’d almost rather it was! Jesus fucking Christ, Joyce, we have no idea if what El did in November was 100 percent effective – what if something happened to you?” I wouldn’t survive it, he wanted to say. There would be nothing left. The idea fueled his rage, making him want to scream his regard in her face, throw it at her like knives. How dare she take his mind to that dark, hopeless place where he couldn’t find her? That place that poisoned his dreams, replacing Bob Newby’s broken, eviscerated body with hers every single night…

“Nothing did! I’m fine, Hop. Now, let me go to bed and sleep this off.” She tried to walk around him, but he blocked her path. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Because you were watching the kids, you idiot!”

Hopper shrugged. “The truck is big, I could’ve taken them with me. It would’ve taken one phone call, Joyce. One. Again; why didn’t you call me?”

Something horrible and telling flashed in Joyce’s intelligent brown eyes; it reached it’s black, hopeless claws into Hopper’s gut and twisted fiercely. She knew the risk, and she took it because…

“Joyce, no…”

Joyce gave a diffident shrug and lowered her eyes. “Everyone wants me to be normal now. Karen said I was being self-indulgent for not even considering talking to those horrible men–”

“That was no reason to storm off with a fucking deathwish!” Hopper knew it would’ve been prudent to approach this gently, as he always had since Bob’s death, but this was something new and terrible. It never occurred to him that thoughts like this crossed her mind, even in moments where he sat at her bedside and forced her to eat and function when her body and the lead in her heart wouldn’t let her. She had two boys to live for, she had him, even if he was moving towards that point in ice-berg increments. That she would even consider leaving them behind threw napalm on his already considerable rage.

“Tell me you don’t see what I see everytime you close your eyes!” Joyce shot back, pushing at his chest with black mittened hands. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that doesn’t crush you! Now pretend it was someone you loved! It’s so hard to breath sometimes, and I can’t help but wish it was–”

“Stop it!” Hopper thundered, his hands closing over her upper-arms to stem the tide of repeated shoves. “And how dare you come up to me and try to scream at me about loss! I lost everything when–”

“YOU LET HIM DIE!” Joyce screamed, pulling herself away from his grasp, with a flurry of slaps to his chest, one of which clipped him on the chin. Her breaths were coming out ugly and ragged and the tears came, along with the gasping sobs that wracked through her tiny, shivering frame.

Hopper, despite the pathetic, heart-wrenching sight before him, saw red at the accusation. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he growled, unconsciously closing the distance between them in an effort to appear intimidating. Joyce’s breath caught in her throat for a moment, her eyes softening, and the barest whisper of a flinch briefly paralyzing her stance; the appearance of fear was gone in an instant as her stubborn chin jutted out and her watery, but steady glare focused upwards towards Hopper. She was all defiance, despite the tears that still flowed.

“Again. Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?”

Joyce stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest, shrugging and shaking her head. “You could’ve–”

“COULD’VE WHAT, JOYCE? Kept uselessly shooting at that thing while the other ones came and did the same to you?” The idea was so abhorrent that it soured the contents of Hopper’s stomach, the image conjured enough dread to stagger him.

“I wouldn’t feel like this if you did,” she admitted quietly as her face crumpled once more.

“Well too goddamn bad,” he sneered, averting his face from the sight of her fresh onslaught of tears.

“I hate you,” she moaned against her hand.

“That’s fine, it’s better than you being dead. Be alive and hate me, but stop doing dumbass shit that’s only going to leave your boys motherless, and me…” he couldn’t finish.

Joyce sniffled and lowered her hand, her eyes wide with curiosity, her lips pressed into a thin line. “And you… ?”

“In every scenario I’ve dreamed up since that night, every possible way things could’ve gone, a different exit, a different choice, I always, always pick you. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t have done more to save Bob, you’ll never know how fucking sorry I am – but all I could see in that moment when those things broke through the door was you.”

There it was. He choked up near the end of his speech, his throat closing and his mouth growing dry from the effort of laying himself so terribly bear. There could be no mistaking his words, as ill-timed as they were – but the prospect of losing her, the long wait to hear something, anything about where she was on that cold night, had scared him half to death and stripped his pretense to the core.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” she whispered before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his waist. He heaved a hoarse sigh as her face nestled against his chest, and relented immediately, his arms closing around her thin, shivering body, giving her the warmth and comfort she desperately needed.

“I’m sorry I yelled,” he muttered against the top of her head, before he rained kisses upon it. He hoped she didn’t feel the tears against her scalp.

“I love you too, Hop.”

I remember… When I was first diagnosed. In fact before I was even diagnosed and I was sitting in my living room at 3 am with ice packs under my arms, my breathing was horrible and I felt freezing. It was the only thing to soothe the pain.

Every breath in felt like that moment you were under the water too long and your ribs were screaming to let your lungs have oxygen? Like that, every time I breathed in, and my breathing rate was quick, too quick. I remember every breath in I had to scream to deal with the pain, and I couldn’t stop no matter how much I was told to ‘cut it out’.
I remember my throat being so sore from having to try and bring in as much air as possible and the screams that just would not stop coming.

That was diabetes, before I had even become acquainted with it.

They all said it is manageable, which is very true, they told me I would be on injections for the rest of my life. They told me I would have to check my blood sugar up to ten times a day every day. They told me I can still do everything I used to, and can still have a future…

They did not tell me I would be up until god knows when crying because my bg wouldn’t come down or up.

They did not tell me I would become too weak to even string a sentence when my blood sugars fell low.

They did not tell me that every prick and needle would leave an ugly scar or bruise in its wake.

They did not tell me that I would be left in the state I was, in so much pain, if it went too high.

They did not tell me that insulin burns on the tip of a needle when it enters your skin, and it will be worse if you take the needle out to redo it.

They did not tell me that I would be left in the early hours of the morning wishing none of us had to deal with this or anything else.

Sometimes, I wish I could make it go away. I want it to go away for everyone. It makes me so angry towards myself when I feel down knowing that I need to just keep going. There is no giving up

anonymous asked:

Fic prompt: Sansa is drunk when Jon returns to winterfell. They discuss potential marriage alliances for each of them, Sansa with a little too much candor... Jon helps Sansa ready tor bed because she's too hammered.

Hi Anon! Thank you for the prompt and apologies for the delay. Real life is sometimes so annoying. Sooo… This sounds like a fun and what could probably be a delicious premise but the romantic in me told me other wise (also I blame the Spotify playlist I was listening to) so here’s the one I did instead. 

Summary: From S7 but pre- Dragonstone. I had in mind a scene which explained the LF chokeslam, Jon’s emotions/reason behind that one bit which seems to be puzzling everyone (except Jonsa shippers.. we know why ahem). Hidden feelings, canon verse and slightly incesty. Ending bit inspired by Outlander.

Mood music: Photograph by Ed Sheeran & I Could Fall in Love by Selena

Rated GF - general fluff. Safe to read :)

I hope you like it and I’m so sorry if it wasn’t what you wanted. I’ll do better next time, promise! So many prompts to fill, so little time… *sighs*

Anyways,  enjoy!

~ Mod Elle

I’ll Pray for You, Always

It was a knock that broke the dam. Three gentle raps on the door that caught him unawares, of the torrential flood of thoughts and feelings that had led him up to this point. A point, if crossed, there was no return.

It had already been hours after dusk and several casks of ale between him and Davos that Jon decided it was perhaps better discussed with a clearer mind. The sudden interruption was welcomed indeed. Another soft knock caused Jon to let out a small smile when he recognised who it was.

“It’s late. Best we discuss this again tomorrow, Ser Davos. Get some rest.”

Davos nodded and greeted Sansa as she entered the chambers. “Aye, it is. Till then, your Grace. My Lady.”

Sansa returned his greeting with a nod and turned her attention to Jon, albeit only briefly before her eyes caught sight of the large map laid on the study before her.

“Setting up fortresses and guard posts, facing the Wall. Hope to get around it soon,” Jon explained as he watched her examine the various sigils placed on different parts of the map. In time hopefully, before the dead come marching.

 “For the White Walkers?”

Jon sighed and his hands sought for his goblet. “Aye. Sentry posts. No harm in guarding the North from everything else.“

“Are you going to tell the Lords of your plans then?” Sansa asked as her thumbs ran along the map’s edges. It was an old parchment, a map from the library, one that resembled another that Maester Luwin once owned as he told stories of the First Men when they were little.

“Soon enough. Still up?” Jon looked up at Sansa as he set his cup down. That was the last of his ale and Jon realised tonight was going to be another of him keeping watch. Sleep was but a memory.

Sansa sighed wistfully. The nightmares still haunt her and kept her away from her own bed. No. Not hers. Mother and Father’s bed.

“I find it hard to sleep sometimes. Being back here… In mother and father’s room. It’s different, I suppose. Takes some getting used to.”

Jon nodded, he knew well what she meant. It was just the two of them now. And Winterfell Castle. The future of Winterfell and the North rested on both their weary shoulders. It was a burden, he could not deny; yet a gift of honour, to be the protector of the very home he knew and loved.

“Lord Manderly sent us a wagon of wine, this morning. From his own press, he said. I was wondering if the King in the North would like to try some,” Sansa held up a cask and smiled.

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Cameron Dallas: Cheating Prank *gone wrong*

Cameron was a troublemaker, he knew that a lot of the things he did could have a negative outtake but he risked it anyways. Today he was filming a prank that went out of style a while back so he knew you wouldn’t think he was pranking you, therefore, the best reaction. Cameron was supposed to go with you to get outfits for your charity event, he was your date for it. He sent you a text saying he wasn’t feeling well and that he would go pick up his outfit. Cameron knew that you would stop by with something for him to eat and medicine for him to get better. 

He invited Andrea over knowing that she’d agree, which she did knowing it was just a prank, he also invited Nash to be their lookout and witness for N/Y to know that nothing happened, now they waited. It only took three hours but N/Y send him a text saying that she was on her way, he didn’t unlock his phone that way it wouldn’t tell her that he read it. Cameron got into shorts and under his sheets. They had Andrea take off her shirt and bra, he gave her another sheet to wrap herself in before getting under the same cover as him. Nash walked in with a spray bottle of water spraying them to make them look sweaty, Cameron ripped open a condom wrapper throwing the condom in his drawer and the wrapper on top of his nightstand.

“Cameron!” You called from downstairs, Nash quietly took the bottle and went to the closet with his camera, Cameron messed up his and Andrea’s hair a bit before wrapping his arm around her acting as if they were sleeping. 

You set a bowl of soup on the counter along with the outfit he was supposed to get when they went out since he wasn’t feeling well she wanted him to get as much rest as he could. You headed up the stairs humming a song that had been playing on the radio recently. Standing at his door you lightly knocked, pushing the door open.

“Cam-” You stopped looking at the sight in front of you, him laying in bed with someone else, the condom, the clothes. You could see their faces glistening with sweat. “Unbelievable.” You mumble slamming the door being you, Cameron and Andrea waited a second before getting up, Nash walking out as well.

“I’ve never seen her look so angry,” Nash said with a smile as he opened the door, Cameron through on his shirt, both boys walking out so Andrea could change. By the time they closed the upstairs door, you had closed the door that leads into the apartment. “Shit,” Nash said grabbing his shoes before yanking open the front door, Cameron right behind him.

“N/Y!” Cameron Yelled after you making you walk faster, heading towards the elevator. By the time you got in you could see Cameron getting closer, Nash being him. You pushed the elevator button harder watching as Cameron started running towards the elevator, The doors started to close but he got there just in time to be able to get through.

“Give us a moment.” He said as Nash still had the camera going. The doors closed leaving you and Cameron, “It was just a prank, Nash was there recording everything.” Cameron said a smiling growing on his face “Come on, look at me.” He said moving closer to you, he tried to wrap his arms around you but you pushed him away.

“Sometimes you go too far…I would never prank you like that Cameron, I don’t care that it wa a prank, but the fact that you did it and didn’t even stop to think if I’d be okay or if I found it funny.” You spoke turning to the elevator door wishing it would move faster.

“I get that, I’m sorry but now that you get it’s a joke can you please come back upstairs so we can hang out like we were supposed to and we can tell the camera that you don’t hate me?” He asked as he tried to move towards you again.

“No Cameron! I don’t want to hang out with YOU today.” You spoke as the door opened. “I get a cheating prank but you had another girl in your bed, I understand that you and Andrea are friends but for her to actually be shirtless and you two to be close like that…I’m uncomfortable and I just want to go home.” You added walking out of the elevator, Cameron following behind you.

“Are you serious? N/Y…come on I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d be this upset.” He tried, following you outside. You felt like you were overreacting and maybe you were but you were entitled to your feeling and you were upset. “Please just come inside so we can talk?” He asked as you neared your car.

“I’ll see you later, we can talk then if that’s okay with you.” You told him getting in your car, Cameron took a deep breath nodding knowing that you’d come around and you two would be okay if he just gave you some space.

(Thank you guys, there will be a funny part two for this.)

tetrisandwanderingowls  asked:

WHAT IS HAPPENING?! (is tony confused/conflicted because he was forced to marry for politics and he doesn't want that for peter but it's his duty and it was tony's duty and even though he loves steve/bucky, he didn't get to choose not to fulfill his duty and it's all messed up in his head nOW?!)

the-flightoficarus said:I’m literally sending you this because I seriously love your writing and the regency AU is taking over my life I’m going to die of feels and suspense!

Anonymous said:You can’t leave that succession dribble there!! My heart!! ☆

The best part of this argument is literally no one understands why Tony is so dead-set against Peter marrying Matt.

“Is it that you don’t like him?” Peter asks.
Tony frowns, as if the thought had never occurred to him. “I like him just fine.”

“Is it that you think other countries would think less of us?” Steve asks.
Tony frowns, as if he’s surprised Steve would think that. “Nobody we know is that much of an asshole.”

“Is it that Matt has nothing by way of material possessions?” Bucky asks.
Tony frowns, as if he’s offended anyone would think him so shallow. “I want my child to be loved.”

“Is it that you’re worried about the children they’ll have?” Sarah asks.
Tony frowns, as if he’s so, so tired of this. “I will love any grandchild I have regardless of who their parent happens to be.”

“Is it that you want better for Peter?” Harley asks.
Tony frowns, and sighs, long and slow, and says, “Who am I to measure how good someone is or isn’t for someone else?”

Everyone keeps telling Tony it’s not about duty, why does he keep talking about duty, their duty is to their people and no one else. Tony remains stonily silent. So silent that he starts secluding himself to avoid everyone. So silent that he creeps into bed after Steve and Bucky are asleep and sneaks out before they wake. He stops going for morning rides with Bucky, stops showing up for sparring practice in the afternoon with Steve. They look for him, but they always somehow seem to just miss him. Bruce says Tony drank his tea and left ten minutes ago; Pepper says that Tony discussed some changes to a treaty with Odinsons with her but left immediately after; Jarvis says Tony came ‘round for a hug earlier and had seemed morose but hadn’t wanted to talk about it.

It’s Rhodey who looks at them, angry and sad all at once, and spits, “Duty to his people is the thing that kept him alive under Obadiah’s reign. Duty is the reason he married you.” And then he flings a stack of letters at them and wheels away, snapping, “He wrote a lot of those thinking I was dead.”

Rhodey, do you think if my people weren’t depending on me, would I be wrong to end my life leave?

Sometimes I feel so hopeless, Rhodey. I miss you and Pepper. I’m so tired. I just want it to end want to stop being alone. I wish you were here.

Why me? Why does it have to be me? I didn’t ask for this. I don’t want to let my people down, but why did it have to be me?

I wish I hadn’t been born. Not like this.

I’m going to be married, Rhodey. To the people we went to war against. They don’t like me. I know they don’t. I wish I’d killed myself before they arrived run away I don’t even know. They don’t want me. I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t want to marry me either.

I think I tricked them into loving me, Rhodey. Maybe they’re just pretending because it’s our duty to marry and they don’t want me to feel so useless needy burdensome lonely. That’s probably it. They’re just trying to be kind.

Do you think they could ever love me for real, Rhodey? Do you think I’m lovable after Obadiah’s abuse? Do you think I could be loved after everything I’ve been through?

What if they never love me back?

Steve and Bucky cry over this because Tony has never mentioned his doubts and fears from back then, would never even think to voice them–he’d say “it’s improper” or “I didn’t think it mattered” or “I didn’t realize this was something that people talked about.” He wanted to die and duty to a crown placed on his head too soon was the only thing that kept him going. And they’d brushed duty aside as if it didn’t matter. As if it wasn’t important. As if it didn’t matter that it kept Tony alive.

As if they didn’t care about Tony’s struggles.



“You shouldn’t be here now.” His voice still sounds small despite how deep it’s grown these last few years, despite the echo of the small prayer room. “We’re not to see each other.”

“Lucky thing is,” Chirrut says obstinately, flopping gracelessly down next to Baze, sprawled while the other kneels stiffly. Chirrut can tell by the odd resonance of his voice that his head is to the ground, penitent. Or sulking. “I can’t see anything, and as much as I’ve tried, you’re no exception.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Baze growls, sitting up to face the altar. He rubs a hand self-consciously over his newly shaved head. It feels wrong in a way he did not expect to still experience so strongly all these years after leaving his home. “If someone sees you in here with me, they’ll think the worst. Then we’ll really get it.”

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Advice from Bookstore Customers

There was a customer today who I tried to help and even though we couldn’t fully locate the book he wanted to buy (after an extensive search on both of our phones), he asked me what I studied and what I wanted to do with my life and what my dream was. 

I told him that my dream is to be an author and I confided that I’ve been hosting a serious case of writer’s block for nearly a year. I told him that this past year has felt like I’ve been lost because not writing for me is like breathing with one lung. 

He told me that dreams and passions sometimes go hand in hand with the pain of fighting to achieve what we wish would leave us fulfilled by the end of our lives. 

Basically, he told me that it’s okay to fail sometimes because the greatest thing a person can ever do is fail. It teaches us to get up and try again. It teaches us what not to do next time. It teaches us that our dreams and our passions and our fulfillment isn’t something that comes easy. You need to fight for your passion.

I contemplated giving up on writing during this past year. I almost decided to stop writing and find something else to be passionate about. 

“But what do you want to do?” People would ask me.

“I have no idea,” I would respond. 

Then I realized that this is a phase, not a permanence. This writer’s block is a visitor, not a full-time renter. My time will come again, I just can’t give up. 

A week ago I had another customer advice me when he saw my “write” tattoo (and after he and his wife had a lengthy chat with me about my writing experiences) that I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. Just try and write and the rest will come. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself. 

We’re our own harshest critics, but sometimes you have to tell even yourself to shut the fuck up and keep trying. 

Things I Wish I Knew My Freshman Year of Uni

Academic Tips

“You are responsible for your own learning.”

1. Always do your work when you get it and don’t wait until the last minute. Waiting until the last minute to get work done will sometimes allow you to still get things done by their due date but it leaves little room for studying and reviewing between then and in the end will hurt you on exams. 

2. Work alone. The best way to learn new material is to do it on your own and struggle through and figure it out ON YOUR OWN. I wish someone had told me this because I really struggled to catch up in classes this past semester because I would do my homework with friends instead of learning how to do things on my own and it hurt me a lot on exams. 

3. Find friends you can study with.You want to be able to be productive if you choose to do a study session. Studying with friends might be okay if you work well together but chances are you’ll get distracted. Find people you work well with to study because you tend to learn more that way. For me, that was people I met in class and at office hours.

4. Please oh, please use office hours This is such a big one that freshman don’t use until the last minute. These are your best bet for getting questions answered if you didn’t understand something in lecture, on your homework, etc. Plus, getting to know your prof is very important because they tend to be more helpful if they see you are working hard in their class and they give good letters of recommendation if you make a good impression on them. If you can’t make their office hours, email them or set up an appointment. It’s very important to have good communication. 

5. Sit in the front and ask questions Be the nerd of the lecture by sitting in the front and don’t be afraid to ask a question. However, if its a question that requires a lengthy answer, save it for office hours so you don’t the lecture behind schedule. 

6. BUY AND READ THE DARN TEXTBOOK So many people tell you not to buy the textbook if you don’t truly need it for assignments but that is so wrong. You will always need the textbook if it is in the syllabus. Period. Read the chapters BEFORE lecture and review it afterward if material still doesn’t make sense. You will learn so much more and remember so much more in a faster time period than if you don’t read it at all. The book is also extremely important for covering details that won’t be covered in lecture.

Social Life 

1. Meet new and DIFFERENT people instead of people like yourself. These people will show you so many cool new things that you’ll never experience otherwise. Meeting new and different people can be challenging and uncomfortable at first if you’re shy like me but it will make your college experience much more worth it. 

 2. Join clubs but not too many. Take part in activities and clubs that you enjoy but be careful not to overload yourself. Freshman year you should start off by just trying a few clubs here and there just to see what you like before committing to a lot of anything.

3. Don’t be afraid to say no to alcohol, drugs, and even hanging out. College students say “You do you” and they really mean it. You don’t have to feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do and no one will judge you for that. If you find “friends” who do judge you, make some new friends. Also, remember that school comes first so if you have a large project to do and your friends want to go out, its ok to say no. Your friends should understand that in college, you really need to get stuff done and that schedule can be different than theirs.

 4. Be okay with being alone but completely surrounded by people. You are almost guaranteed to different schedules than your friends so you’ll learn that you’ll often be eating or doing school work alone. This is perfectly normal! Learn to like it because it’s nice to do things on your own. You may feel lonely sometimes but you’re also always surrounded by people. It’s hard to find actual privacy in college especially when you live in the dorms and share a room with a roommate. It will be strange at first but you’ll find the right balance of being along and being with people over time. 

Roommates and Dorms 

1. “A clean room is a clean mind.” Keeping a clean room will help you to study because you’ll be able to easily find everything you need instead of digging through piles of clothes and other belongings. Dorm rooms are also very small so putting things in their rightful storage places is essential for keeping a tidy room.

2. Study outside of your room as much as you can. If you’re like me, you can distract yourself easily especially when you don’t want to do something (like study). By getting the majority of your work done in the library or somewhere else on campus other than your room, you have less options to distract yourself whereas in your room, you have all your stuff to pick up and lose hours of study time with. 

3. Be straightforward with your roommate. If your roommate is doing something that bothers you, tell them clearly right away (politely). Otherwise, they’ll never know and continue to do what is bothering you. In order to avoid arguments, tell them right away very nicely and they should stop. It might be their room too, but you need to make sure that you’re happy as well. 

I hope this was helpful. This is only SOME of the tips I could think of for right now but I have tons more tips and advice that I love to share. If you have any questions about these tips or want to know more, feel free to ask.