sometimes i think of unfunny things

send me one?
  • honey: you seem nice!
  • puppy: I would like to talk to you.
  • candy: You’re sweet!
  • bunny: I like you’re blog!
  • sunflower: I want to reblog everything you post!
  • cookie: can we be friends?
  • bee: you're funny.
  • roses: you're beautiful.
  • paws: you're a cutie.
  • baby chick: you make me smile.
  • chocolate: I love seeing you on my dash.
  • kitten: we don't talk much
  • dolphin: you're too dramatic.
  • strawberry: marry me?
  • moonlight: I think about you sometimes.
  • sunlight: we're mutuals and I love u
  • cheesecake: I hate youuu
  • rainbow: I don't like you.
  • cherries: you're annoying
  • cloud: hewwo?
  • fireflies: delete your blog
  • turquoise: you make me cringe.
  • soft: you're Unfunny.
  • fawn: I look up to you.
  • magic: I love talking to you.
  • icecream: I love you
  • hearts: I'm in love with you.

Story time

So, I used to have this sound effects app a while back (but had to delete it for storage reasons). It had stuff like clapping (both from an audience and a golf clap), spooky noises, and rimshots (you know, *badum tissss*). I would use that fucking thing all the time. The golf claps were for sarcastic purposes, like when someone did something stupid or told an unfunny joke. It was gold.

But the rimshots were my all-time best piece of comedy. I would hit the button all day, every day. Someone told a good joke? Rimshot. Someone told a bad joke? Rimshot. Something funny happened? Rimshot. Someone was just telling a regular story? Rimshot. Regular human noises (burping, farting, etc.)? Rimshot.

Man, and you thought people wanted to kill me before. You’ve never seen angry mob unless you’ve seen the amount of people asking me to stop following them around with rimshot and golf claps.