sometimes i think i made all the bad choices

Being Best Friends With Bellamy Blake And Dating John Murphy Would Include:

• Keeping it secret and making sure Bellamy doesn’t know

• “Murphy, if Bellamy finds out, you know he isn’t gonna be happy” “What makes you say that? The fact that he had me hung for ‘the people’? Or the fact that he banished me, and threatened to kill me when I came back after being tortured?” “Shut up, Murphy” “Love you too”

• Always giving each other looks when you thought no one was looking

• Trying to go on watch with Murphy as much as possible, which Bellamy always thought was suspicious

• “Why’re you voluntarily going on watch with him? I don’t want you hanging around with a criminal like him”

• “Bellamy, we’re all criminals here”

• “Yeah, but he’s the murderer-” “You had him hung for something he didn’t do, and threatened to kill him when he came back after being tortured. Cut the guy some slack, he isn’t a bad guy, Bell

• Murphy insisting you don’t defend him around Bellamy

• “He isn’t wrong, besides, he’ll only get more suspicious if you act like you like me” “yeah, but I do like you”

• Bellamy finding out about the relationship when he caught you and Murphy kissing each other while on watch

• “Get the hell away from her, Murphy!”

• Him punching Murphy before you could stop him

• “Bellamy, fuck off! I love you, you’re my best friend, and being my best friend means listening to me and supporting me” “It also means protecting you from people that will hurt you, like Murphy

• Convincing Bellamy that Murphy wouldn’t hurt you

• “Bell, listen to me, okay? I’ve talked to Murphy since day one, and trust me when I say he isn’t who you think he is, okay? He isn’t a bad person, he just makes bad decisions sometimes, and that doesn’t define him, because you’ve made bad choices too. All of us have”

• Bellamy overworking Murphy so you’d see him less during the day

• “Well, the king making me work seems better than him banishing or beating the shit out of me again. Besides, I get to spend nights with you, now that you’ve convinced him to let us share a tent” “I wouldn’t say I convinced him”

• Murphy always trying to show off your relationship around Bellamy once he found out about it

• “Murphy, I know what you’re doing” “What, can’t your loving boyfriend kiss you?”

• Trying to get Bellamy and Murphy to get along

• “I love you both, why don’t you guys stop fighting?” “Sorry, princess, I don’t think the king will give up”

• Bellamy and Murphy somewhat getting along after Murphy risked his life to save yours

• “I can deal with you, but you do anything wrong and you’ll regret it” “I don’t doubt that for a second, your highness. I wouldn’t dare”

• You teasing them sometimes

• “God, you guys fight so much sometimes I think you’re in a secret relationship together” “Shut up, (Y/N)

Originally posted by sweetlyoriginalthing

Doctor Who — Series 8  {Sentence Starters}

  • “I am not a control freak!“
  • “Please, you have to lie down.”
  • “Look at it… does it scare you?“
  • “That sounds pretty heroic to me.”
  • “I still don’t get why you’re in charge.”
  • “Shut up! I am so sick of listening to you!“
  • “I’m serious. I’m trying to save this planet.“
  • “Come on, you know that I speak Dinosaur.”
  • “Yeah, my carer. She cares so I don’t have to.“
  • “If you can’t save them all, save what you can.“
  • “Don’t be so pessimistic. It’ll affect team morale.“
  • “And don’t look in that mirror. It’s absolutely furious.“
  • “I’m an amnesiac robbing a bank, why would I be OK?”
  • “I’m still having a little trouble believing yours, I’m afraid.“
  • “I didn’t try too hard to survive… but, somehow, here I am.“
  • “Can you just hurry up, please? Or I’ll hit you with my shoe.“
  • “Robbin’ a bank. Robbin’ a whole bank. Beat that for a date.“
  • “What sense would that make? That would be a terrible idea.“
  • “And do people ever punch you in the face when you do that?“
  • “You looked inside me, and you saw hatred. That’s not victory.”
  • “I tried to talk. I want you to remember that. I tried to reach out.“
  • “I can complain about things, I can really complain about things.“
  • “Well, you’re very similar heights. Maybe you should wear labels.“
  • “I’m right here. Standing in front of you. Please, just… just see me.”
  • “You can’t see me, can you? You look at me and you can’t see me.“
  • “Would you like to think that about me? Would that make it easier?“
  • “I’ve lived for over two thousand years, and not all of them were good.“
  • “I’ve made many mistakes, and it’s about time I did something about that.“
  • “So you’ve got a whole room for not being awake in? But what’s the point?“
  • “Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?“
  • “Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones, but you still have to choose.“
  • “It’s a smile but you’re sad. It’s like two emotions at once. It’s like you’re malfunctioning.“
  • “Look at the eyebrows. These are attack eyebrows. You can take bottle tops off with these!”
  • “You asked me if you were a good man. And the answer is, I don’t know. But I think you try to be. And I think that’s probably the point.“
Mario is Destruction Incarnate

Ok. Hear me out. I’m not mad. I promise you.

No.

No friends, I am terribly sane.

I mentioned on Twitter how weirdly uncomfortable it made me feel when Mario ‘captures’ an enemy in Super Mario Odyssey. You’ll take control of a bad guy to solve a puzzle or to navigate a level, then discard them. Sometime, you’ll capture an enemy, then use their purloined husk to obliterate their comrades.

A friend of mine drew the analogy that it’d be like taking over noted alt-righter Richard Spencer and using him to punch all the Nazis but I don’t think that’s true. For one, I’m not sure that a lot of the armies of Bowser are there by choice, they don’t share the same goals. They strike me as drafted auxiliaries, like in the Roman army, hordes of goombas fighting because they are made to. Which isn’t to say the don’t want to fight Mario, or want to expand the borders of Bowsers domain, but they have had the choice to fight or not made for them. Koopa Troopers and goombas are clearly distinct peoples; Bowser does not strike me as the kind of individual interested in forming confederations.

So, what we have here is Mario running around temporarily enslaving conscripted cartoon… things and forcing their bodies to fight for him, fight against their comrades, their people. Were Mario’s goals the overthrow of Bowser’s regime and the return of peace to the Mushroom kingdom, this would be bad enough. But Mario is not motivated by such noble goals as liberty, freedom and peace. Mario has one goal, has always had one goal. Mario must rescue the Princess.

He tears through the armies of Bowser, not because they must be opposed but because they are in his way. Mario has been wronged, something he believes is his has been taken from him and he must have it back. Fortunate for the people of the Mushroom kingdom that their oppressor has taken the princess, but what if she had not been captured by Bowser? Would he be content with her by his side as Bowser rules the land with an iron fist? What if she did not reciprocate Mario’s advances? Would it be armies of Toads and Yoshis Mario is stomping on, incinerating, capturing with sentient headwear? Bursting through the doors of the throne room in Kuribo’s Shoe, announcing himself, ‘It’s-a me, Mario’? Perhaps, because Mario is not a liberator, he is a being of pure ego, of unchecked desire. To anything that stands in his way, Mario is the destroyer.

Mario is DOOMguy.

Consider ‘Dogma’, the opening monologue on the DOOM OST:

“In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, (Super Mario Bros. 1985) one stood.
He chose the path of perpetual torment (Your Princess is in another castle, each Mario game has same goal of rescuing princess, Mario galaxy suggests cycle of rescuing/kidnapping has gone on forever).
In his ravenous hatred he found no peace, and with boiling blood (fire flower perhaps?) he scoured the umbral plains (Koopa Kingdom), seeking vengeance against the dark lords (Bowser) who had wronged him.
And those that tasted the bite of his sword
(‘sword’ here is synonymous for weapon, could be instead ‘ground pound’) named him…
The Doom Slayer
(Mario).”

DOOMguy was wronged by the lords of hell, and fights not to destroy them because they are literal evil, but because they have affronted him. Similarly, Mario fights Bowser not because Bowser is a tyrant, but because Bowser has taken something Mario believes should be his. If Mario were serious about overthrowing Bowser, he would organise a resistance, recognise that yes, the princess is important but is ultimately a figurehead and the liberation of the people is the goal. But no. He instead rips, and tears.

So, if Mario is the destroyer, who is his counterpoint? Who is the character motivated by noble, selfless goals rather then selfish base desire? For DOOMguy, his counterpart is Wolfenstein’s BJ Blasckowicz, a man who kills nazis with a view to liberate the world, because fascism must be opposed. BJ destroys because his enemies are the enemies of everyone, though he might take pleasure in it. His intended outcome is a result for all mankind, not just himself. Indeed, he is willing to die, to destroy himself, if it means achieving this aim. If one were to extrapolate this idea from the first person shooter into the 2d/3d platformer, the idea of a someone fighting not just for themselves, but to save others, to bring down an oppressive tyrant, to free the enslaved… the answer is clear.

If Mario is the destroyer, then his counterpoint, the liberator, is none other than his nineties rival, Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic, whose acts of violence necessarily free the oppressed, who upon completing each zone frees yet more of these same oppressed, who fights Eggman (né Robotnik) because the man is evil and his plans must be stopped. Sonic, for whom his romantic interest is an ally, a comrade, never a prize to be won. Sonic may be an arrogant, obnoxious asshole but his goals are liberation and revolution. Mario, charming and loveable, is destruction and slaughter and carnal desire.

So what I’m saying is if someone could make a mod for DOOM where you’re Mario that’d be killer. Or, better yet, hack Mario Odyssey and put DOOMguy in there. Wanna fuck up New Donk City with the BFG innit.

(big thanks to @not-so-femme​ and @lellowsphere​ for indulging me with the start of this over on Facebook)

After Midnight

This was inspired by this awesome imagine: X so creds to the original author :)

Summary: The reader left Peter a year ago, and still wonders if she made the right decision. Peter has to put his two-sense in, naturally. (kinda sorta dark-ish Pan??? maybe???) 


“Knock knock,” My mother poked her head through the door. “Time for bed, love.”

         “But Mom, I’m almost done with this chapter, and-”

         “Y/N, it’s after midnight!” She laughed lightly, which turned into a yawn. “You can finish your book tomorrow. Off to bed with you, come on. Do I need to tuck you in?”

         “No,” I told her, biting my lip to suppress my smile. She just shook her head and crossed the room, securing me under the covers and placing a tender kiss on my forehead. She set my book on top of my bookshelf and turned off the lamp. The only source of light in my small bedroom was the tiny nightlight in the corner and the full moon softly glowing through the window.

         My mother whispered, “Goodnight, love,” as she closed the door, and I was alone.

         I used to love being alone. I used to cherish the precious few minutes of silence that would allow me to be alone with my thoughts. But that was before…

         No. I squeezed my eyes shut and rolled onto my side, facing the wall. I wasn’t going to think about that. I had made the right decision. It was over a year ago. There was nothing I could do about it now.

         Still, there were parts of me that wondered… heinous curiosity that questioned what it would’ve been like if I hadn’t…

         Stop. Don’t do this to yourself. He told you that you only had one chance, and you made your choice.

         I don’t think I made a bad decision at all, actually. I loved my mother. I loved our brownstone in London. I loved my school and my books and birthday parties and future.

         But sometimes I found myself wondering if the things I loved were worth giving that up. Giving him up.

         But of course! I scowled at my train of thought. Mom was definitely worth it. She would lose her mind without me. And having a secure roof over my head was definitely worth it as well.

         As I laid there, struggling to fall asleep, I could still hear his voice in my head. Sometimes we have to do things for ourselves, without thinking about others. He had said when he was trying to convince me to stay. You belong here. You don’t have to go back.

         My heart felt heavy. I had wanted so badly to tell him that yes, I would stay with him, I would go anywhere with him. But I couldn’t do that to my mother. I couldn’t just abandon my life here for some… some boy…

         But he wasn’t just some boy.

         “Thinking of me?”

         I jumped, sheets tangling around me as I faced the boy that had plagued my mind since I had left him a year ago.

         He looked exactly the same- well of course he did; he would never change, never grow old, never experience a full life. He would forever be a teenager.

         His hair was slightly longer than I remember it, curling at the ends. His eyes were jade, but they may have just appeared dark because of the low lighting. He was still tall, with awkward broad shoulders and long fingers that he would never grow into. He was still the same.

         “Peter…”

         Peter Pan raised an eyebrow. “So you do remember me, then?” He shifted his weight. “I’m glad. I would’ve thought you’d have forgotten me by now- you’re happy enough without me, right? Got your mother to-”

         “Stop.” I ordered. My breathing had become labored pants; my palms were slick and the neck of my nightgown sticky. I closed my eyes tightly.

         “What was that?” I could hear him step closer, feet creaking across the hardwood.

         I bit down on my lower lip sharply. “You’re not real.”

         This made him laugh- a cold, humorless laugh that made my stomach churn. “What makes you say that?”

         “You’re not here.” I said, more for myself than him. “You’re not real. When I open my eyes, you’ll be gone.”

         Silence. Cautiously, I peeked.

         Peter was still standing there with his arms crossed and his tongue pressed against his cheek. “Maybe you should reconsider that statement.” He said coolly. “Because I am quite real, but not very forgiving- although I’m sure you already know that.”

         I just stared at him. How was any of this possible? Why had he come? I have to be dreaming; I have to be asleep…

         “I like your room.” Peter surveyed it with disinterest. “It’s very… what’s the word… mature.”

         He padded over to my desk and traced the edge of a photograph. “This your mother?” He asked, looking over his shoulder at me. “You look like her.”

         When that didn’t get a response out of me, he let out a breathy chuckle. “Are we playing the quiet game?” Peter inquired with a mischievous smirk. “I wish you would’ve told me. You know I love a good game.” He slowly came toward me. “Unfortunately, now’s not the time for games. You see, Y/N…”

         I quickly scooted away as he placed one knee on the edge of the bed, and then the other, crawling up to me until my back was pressed against the wall and his face was inches from mine, eyes half-lidded and crazed.

         “You made the wrong choice. I’ve come to make it right. I’ve come to bring you back to Neverland.”

         “No-” I tried to get out, but he chuckled and placed a finger against my lips.

         “No need to thank me.” He cooed, leaning closer so that his nose brushed mine. “I know what you need. I know what’s best for you. I know that you’ve regretted your decision since the words first passed your lips.”

         Peter’s finger ran over them for emphasis. He watched closely, exhaling softly and shakily as he did so.

         “We’re going, you and I,” he continued, voice dropping to a whisper. “Right now. I’m taking you away from here once and for all.”

         I pushed his hand off but still held it in mine so not to anger him. “Peter…”

         He was up in an instant, agitated and standing at the foot of my bed. “You’re not happy here, Y/N.” He ranted. “I can make you happy. I can do that. You tried with your mother, and she obviously isn’t doing something right.”

         “You’re wrong!” I spat. “You don’t know anything!”

         Peter quirked an eyebrow. “I don’t know anything? Really? Is that what you really think? Come on, surely you’re smarter than that.”

         “You’re wrong about this.” I tried again. “I am happy here.”

         His nostrils flared. “Y/N, you know better than to lie to me.”

         “And I’m not!” I insisted. “I happen to like my life here, Peter! I don’t need to do something selfish and outlandish to feel good.”

         As soon as I said the words, I wanted to take them back. I knew I had crossed a line, a very sensitive, very dangerous line. It was obvious from the flame that had ignited in Peter’s eyes that I was in deep trouble.

         “Selfish and outlandish?” He repeated slowly, almost emotionlessly. It was terrifying how still his composure was. I wished that he would scream and punch a wall. Anything but this scary, staring figure.

         Another soft chuckle. “Okay,” He nodded, licking over his lips. “I’ll show you selfish and outlandish.” Then he lunged.

I might never know if I made the right decision. About loving you, about some of the things I said, about breaking up. I know that there are days where I think I’m sure I made the right choice, and there are days where I would give anything just to hold your hand. I still have all of our messages. Sometimes on the really bad nights I’ll read them and try to imagine your voice through the pixels. Some nights I can’t hear your voice anymore. Some nights it feels like you’re right beside me. I can’t tell which is worse. It’s been two months now. Two months since you’ve kissed me, held me, told me you loved me. Told me anything. I loved you, but we were a bomb just waiting to go off. Every argument was another second on the countdown. I guess it was time we blew up.
—  2.28.16

Sometimes it feels like beautiful
is the party of the year, and I wasn’t invited
(but I went anyway).
And inside, the baseline pulses
with my heartbeat and there are all these
perfect mouths: open and laughing
in the strobing darkness.
A boy who is all sharp jaw and white teeth
settles in behind me, hands on my hips,
close enough to kiss–
he leans in, licks his lips, says:

Sorry. I thought you were somebody else.

The joke
is that I am always trying to be
someone else.
It’s a magic trick, and
I haven’t gotten the hang of it, yet.
But it is a chore to love this body.
And on the days I do love it,
I usually don’t like the person inside of it.
I used to joke that all my sex appeal
instantly disappears the minute I open
my mouth.
I don’t say that anymore,
because that’s a shitty thing to say about yourself.

But the point still stands
that I feel helplessly awkward
being the person that I am.
Sometimes, I think my heart is actually
that sweet, pale pink you find
in babies’ bedrooms:
an organ made, not of blood, but
of the compressed powder from
a makeup compact. Softly blushing.
Given to crumble.

Sometimes I think that I’m only loud
so you won’t see how bad I’m shaking.
All this bravado to make up for the fact
that I am inherently fragile.
All these panic attacks dressed up as poetry,
just cries for help, desperately begging you
to love me.

You have no idea how many years I have been
second choice.
Imagine, being nobody’s first priority:
the one who’s left but never the one who leaves.
Trust me when I say, I know what it means
to keep swallowing pride
just to give your heart something
to eat.
Because when you don’t feel worthy,
you’ll take anything.

In the aftermath,
I stitch my body up with
one night stands and stolen kisses.
I write myself into my own story
as the villain, because I feel like
a poor excuse for a hero.
I keep collecting compliments in a jar
on the bedside table, hoping that maybe
if the jar gets full
I might finally be able to believe them.
It is hard to believe the people telling you
you are beautiful
when there is so much evidence to the contrary:
when there is so much unrequited love,
an entire childhood full of bullying,
when the ones who kiss you are
never the ones who stay.

So today
I am rebuilding what it means
to feel beautiful.
Today, beautiful is
knees covered in sidewalk chalk.
Today, beautiful is
hands riddled with paper cuts.
It’s bitten nails and bedhead.
Beautiful
is a warm cup of coffee and
someone to share it with.
Today, beautiful is something tangible:
something that I can get
and I can give
and I want all of you
to have it.

—  REBUILDING BEAUTIFUL by Ashe Vernon

anonymous asked:

Do you ever think about bad design choices you’ve made in the past for your OCs? Or is that just me?

Sure, I think everybody does to some degree. But all you can really do is learn and move on. Sometimes they are serious (i.e. me re-evaluating Ed’s ethnicity and making him more explicitly Metis because it made historical sense instead of basing him on the white-bread subrural community i was living in at the time) and sometimes they are silly (i.e. my inability to design good clothes or differentiate between ocs enough, which i sort of half work on and half embrace in order to joke about it).

At the end of the day, they are your own ocs and it’s your responsibility and your right to do what you like, right? So if you find yourself having to change or re-evaluate something, just go for it and give people a heads up if you want. If you are stuck on something that you know is Bad but you are unsure how to fix it, there are loads of tutorials on how to improve character designs and people like me who are willing to chat about it out there. :) 

(srsly like I have my own ocs and I use other people’s all the time but if people are seeking improvement for an oc, even if its a personification I have covered for myself, I’m happy to talk about it, I just won’t bring it up myself because I know not everyone is comfortable talking about stuff - esp because ocs are near and dear to our hearts - and I’m generally busy musing on my own lame ideas in my own lil universe anyway haha just grab my attention on it and I’ll listen)

but really the most rewarding part is having ocs for like several years and looking back and seeing how far you and the oc have come, it’s so much fun ;u; don’t give up because of one or two design choices, either fix them or adapt them and keep moving along, or leave them to stew on the back burner while you work on something else!

Edit: oh and I wanted to mention on a more technical note: if you mean bad design choices i.e. too complicated or difficult, sometimes those just iron themselves out with practice. The more you draw them, the easier it will get one way or the other, whether you change it to make it easier on yourself, or things get simplified, or decisions get made to make characters more obviously different when drawing quickly and far away, etc.

     “I think about my mom all the time because I’m at a point in my life when I need her. Sometimes I have no one to turn to, so I keep everything inside. My mom made a lot of bad choices when she was young, so she couldn’t take care of me. I saw all my friends being raised by their parents, while I was raised by my grandparents. Now, I have to work harder at a younger age because my grandparents are not going to be around as long as other people’s parents. I need to get to the point where I want to go faster because I won’t have anyone else to depend on after my grandparents are gone. It’s all on me—make it or not.”

     Ocean Beach Park, CT

anonymous asked:

I just don't believe that Dean would have left Sam at that age (this is barely after 3.8 in the timeline) for days at a time, or have him take a bus by himself. That is completely ridiculous considering how protective Dean was over Sam at that age.

Hi anon! This seems odd to me because I don’t understand why it would be Dean’s decision? He was 13 years old. That kind of arrangement would be down to John and I don’t imagine Dean would have had much say one way or the other. In fact, he says as much to Sam in the episode, over the phone, when Sam wants to come with them: ‘I asked Dad and he said no. What else do you want me to do?!’

I think maybe the suggestion that these would have been Dean’s choices to make links up to the other difficulty I have with what you are saying. I don’t dispute that Dean was protective of Sam when they were younger (as he still is at times, which can be both good and bad). But he was a child, just like Sam, and the evidence we see in the show suggests that his protectiveness wasn’t the all-encompassing parental care which I have sometimes seen it made out to be. We know from episode 5x06 that Sam 'used to’ make his own dinner when he was small (and I had assumed even before last night that this would have been in situations like 11x08, when Dean and John were away pursuing a case).. We know that Dean would drop Sam at Plucky Pennywhistle’s restaurants when it was inconvenient to have a little brother trailing along behind him. We see in Bad Boys that Dean lost the food money 'in a card game’, which at least suggests that he went out at night without taking Sam with him. I’m not saying Dean is at fault for “neglecting” Sam (or 'not being there for him’, as Dean says in 11x08) - again, he was a child and couldn’t or shouldn’t have been expected to provide an adult standard of care, or necessarily to understand what was appropriate. It seems to have been quite usual for Dean and Sam to have been left alone at motels as children, so this probably would have seemed like a normal situation and not something to make a fuss about. After all, back at the motel is at least usually a safer option than out on the hunt, right? (1x18 notwithstanding I guess.) 

Anyway, all of that means that what happened in 11x08 didn’t feel to me at all unexpected, let alone ‘completely ridiculous’. Eric Kripke seems to agree (he tweeted Jenny Klein and said that the episode was ‘true to the boys’), which meshes with my own sense that this episode built on the picture of Sam and Dean’s childhood that was built up during the earlier seasons of the show.

anonymous asked:

Dean is totally wrecked over Cas and i will cry about that in a bit, but i think Gunner and this ep was good for Dean. He was having such a hard time accepting that Cas made a choice, but Gunner's whole thing helped him. I thought the denial was gonna end so badly, like epic heartbreak/meltdown realization, and i'm sure he's still heartbroken, but he sucked it up and healthily realized that sometimes even the people you idolize make bad choices. We all do. Just gotta keep going.

I like this, anon. But poor Dean…once again he was a witness…but I think he’s resolving not to be anymore.

As some of you already heard, rhythm guitarist Kazuki-san of our Royz senpais is leaving the band. 

A sudden announcement, Ochamu-san had no idea at first.
Then i read all comments of members. It made me incredibly sad.
After how Codomo Dragon and Royz became close.
I just thought, we’ll spend even more time and laugh all together.
But who’d imagine that Kazuki-san… i bet members have never thought something like that would ever happened.
It’s very sad, but you can’t show that sad face of yours forever.
All members have to move forward. 
We, Codomo Dragon feel with them from bottom of our hearts.
It just belongs to the band activities, sometimes it’s really hard and painful. These bad obstacles can surprise you anytime. 
But i think there is no choice, you have to clench your teeth and work hard to the max.
I’d love to say more, but i can’t find the right words right now. 
~ Chamu
2014-05-08 00:30:46

On the episode

I enjoyed the ep. More than I think a lot of others did.

Maybe it’s the multi-shipper in me, but I rarely get grossed out or angry when my OTP (for lack of an more fitting term) breaks up and sees other people. Almost every time it happens we get some of my favorite moments between the couple I’m rooting for.

I get not wanting to see it. I get it being painful but we got so many other interesting scenes that I feel like, on the balance, we came out on top.

Which isn’t to say that the direction they chose to go with the storyline on the whole makes the most sense to me or that they’re the best writers or that they’re handling other storylines all that well either. These are some of the clunkiest writers on the planet. There are a lot of missteps. But I don’t think I can say that they’re doing any worse, or better than they ever have.

I enjoyed the stuff with Diggle and Rene a lot. I really need them to give Evie something to fucking do. Curtis being the only one to laugh at Felicity’s “you have failed this city” joke amused me greatly, but I wouldn’t mind seeing Paul again.

Lance and Thea were really fucking bad at selling Oliver’s death. Lance was a little better at it, but Thea was just chillin’ at his side like her brother hadn’t just been shot in front of her. Who knows, though. Maybe the constituents will buy it just because they figure she’s see enough fucked up things and she must just be in shock.

On Promotion and the EPs/Actors/Writer’s

As for what Marc Guggenheim said? Eh. Fuck him. He’s been a whiny, defensive ass that expects to be praised when he does things that are the bare minimum of decency and creativity and he’s been lashing out at fans since forever. He did it when people called them out for how the Shado/Slade storyline was handled, he did it when they killed Sara and people pointed out that having her hit a dumpster and then put her in the freezer was…wow. He’s been doing it to KC fans and Black Canary fans. He’s an asshole who thinks he’s a genius when he’s a mediocre storyteller who stumbled into some characters who are close to amazing and a handful of actors who do amazing work together and occasionally make the middling stories sparkle.

The difference? He’s now doing it with Olicity shippers. Some of whom do take way more credit than they should. Or at least, take way more credit than can be proven is deserved.

I made my peace with this show’s quality a long time ago. I still enjoyed the ep for what I think it was. An ending so there can be a new trajectory. More places to grow.

On the Fandom

I saw that a few people are pulling out of the fandom after the combination of the episode (or more likely the past few episodes) and what Marc said. I’ve seen others say they’re taking a break. I think we all get nervous and a little bit of a sick feeling when people we dig stop loving the show we enjoy. That’s normal.

What I will say, is that the current cadre of fic writers for this show are not the same ones from S1 and S2. There are maybe a handful of carryovers that are still around from then. Many of the writers who are popular and prolific right now didn’t even start watching the show or getting in the fandom until S3/S4.

This is the nature of fandom. It comes and goes in waves. Yes, there is always a last wave, but I honestly don’t think we’re there yet. I think that this show probably has two more years to go and we’ll likely see another wave of fic writers and shippers (and maybe new ships!) come in and do their thing.

My point is, don’t feel like because your favorite writer/writers are taking a break or leaving, that the fandom is going to go boom. It might. It might. And it will change for sure. But history tells  me that we just wiped out but we’ll probably paddle out to catch another wave.

I think I’m fucking that metaphor up. But ya know what I mean, yeah?

You do what makes you happy. You make your fandom bubble as big or as small as you need to. You enjoy or don’t enjoy the show. You watch because you love or you hate watch because you’re pissed off as fuck. Just maybe also be kind to each other, yeah? As much as we can.

Note:

I think it should be said every once in a while, that we’re dealing with distinct critiques here. 

There is commentary on characters and plot points…events that happen in canon. Things that end up on our screens. 

There is commentary about writing choices. 

There is commentary about meta, mostly from the writers and EPs, but also from the fandom side.  Mostly what they do and say in interviews and on SM. 

These are all different things. I can hate what a character chooses to do, and applaud the writer for having them make that choice. Conversely, I can be able to see a why a character makes a choice they’ve made and why a story goes where it goes and even be okay with it or dig it, and hate that this is the choice the writer made and think it’s a bad one. 

I try to be pretty careful when I talk about shows, that I’m specific in what I’m criticizing (I’m less careful about what I’m praising, if I’m honest.) I think sometimes as fans we fall into pitfalls of talking about all of it all at once in a jumbled mess and getting upset when we think someone is criticizing a character’s decision, when we’re criticizing a writer’s decision and vice versa. So many conversations get derailed when we aren’t even talking about the same thing. 

There are so many conversations happening around this ep and all the eps this season. It wouldn’t be a horrible idea to stop and really try and figure out what part of the puzzle folks are talking about. 

My respect for the EPs and what they say in interviews and SM affect me, because I’m human, but I’ve gotten okay at tuning them out because they aren’t canon. And they’re super flawed people that say a lot of things that piss me off even while writing some of my favorite characters ever. *hands*

/note

99% of my time as a Maker is spent stressing out over small mistakes, thinking I’ll get a bad review or angry email every time I open my inbox, feeling like I’m not even that good at what I do, questioning my life choices.

But that 1% where I actually fully realize that people really do like my work, thousands (thousands?!?!) of people have bought things I made, they wear it, sometimes it’s even their favorite piece of jewelry. Some have even worn them on their wedding day. Almost all of my reviews are positive and sweetly written. Friends and relatives have spotted people wearing my work out in the world. I exist out there, outside of my basement studio, and I am liked. Those times where I can actually see that makes this crazy ride worth it.