sometimes i talk about my feelings

self care tips when you’re mentally ill

*brought to you by the wonderful @katherinee-wheel @oreocharm @superrr-nay and some lovely anons!*

  • remember it’s okay to not be okay
  • if you only have the spoons to wake up today and not to do much else, that’s okay. Tomorrow is another day.
  • eat or drink SOMETHING. It’s okay if it’s junk food or days old Chinese food or even a pack of oyster crackers and a cup of water. But please remember to put something into your body.
  • listen to music or watch videos in bed. It’s a low impact way to relax and unwind
  • put on my favorite classical or jazz record
  • daydream
  • play my fav video game (bioshock or spyro)
  • call my big sister or mom
  • say beep boop to myself quitely (I read it someplace, tried it, and it at least got me to smile a bit)
  • meditate and try to ‘feel’ everypart of my body
  • cuddle with my pooch
  • read my bible
  • read harry potter
  • read (Oh the places you will go)
  • sometimes bae will give me back messages and talk to me about randomly to get me out of my  mind
  • i usually love food, so i have a stash in my room in a drawer, so i might eat my fav snack
  • drink water or tea (depending on if i feel like making tea, bc i always have a water bottle in my room just in case i happen to choke on one of my snacks)
  • watch my fav youtubers (i like matthew santoro, markiplier, and threadbangers, just to name a few)
  • I’m a very rational and logical person, so in my mind, i know that ill be fine after a while but i just need to get through this one moment, so i make charts and graphs and i write down my thoughts as if i was having a conversation with another person, usually in two colors. On one side of the page will be my emotional side and on the other side will be my logical side, and by the time im done, i usually feel A LOT better; maybe not 100% but a lot better
  • also (last one i promise) i scream cry into my pillow, may sound weird… but it helps with any rage, anger, or frustration that you might have
  • a self care thing i like to do is send my datemate a long cute message because he gets so happy and it makes me feel a little bit better
  • Tips for self care : I listen to music. Go watch my dogs do whatever they’re doing. Watch a movie I like or TV series. Find new music. Go through Tumblr. Sleep
  • Self care tips: relocate. Even if it’s just from the bed to the couch. A change in scenery can help even a little bit 
  • Put on my favorite movie or read my favorite book I guess is an obvious one but it really helps 
  • My self care tips: - play a video game you’re good at / enjoy (important: give yourself the break and don’t feel guilty. feeling guilty won’t help) - listen to a podcast - take a nap - try to contact some friends and chat until you’re better 
  • Make a list of all the things you love about yourself

anonymous asked:

I've been reading your conversation about Jikook, and at the same time that I agree with you both about them still being on the "flirting phase", sometimes I also think that there's just so much sexual tension for them to not have crossed that line? I mean, so much? Sometimes they check each other out and it's just a lot. I think I'm more inclined to believe they're in a "friends with benefits" kinda thing, like, not fully admiting how much they love each other, but making out, yknow?

but here’s where I contradict myself. I have around 87347734 theories on jikook, but my most solid one is the one i’ve been talking about. one of my other ones, is one where jikook have acknowledged and told each other their feelings and have even made out a little or something, but just haven’t started dating because of the consequences that could result. I feel like jikook are hesitant to become a thing, even if they’ve confessed just because of what could happen to not only them but bts as a whole. it’s all just really complicated and we’ll never know the 100% truth. (tbh though, when you said checking each other out this gif came to mind.)

(gifcred to gayjikookadi)

This is who I am

I debated over whether or not I should make this post but after I saw this I felt very encouraged to share something with you.

Technically this doesn’t change anything. My blog is still the same blog, my posts are still the same. You guys knowing this doesn’t change who I am or who I was before I told you but I want to be my authentic self on here.

Sometimes I feel like I’m hiding behind a username and an icon that’s not my face. I will only talk about this once on my blog unless anybody has any questions whatsoever.

I hope your perspective on me doesn’t change. You guys have been incredibly nice to me and it would hurt me a lot if you would treat me worse after reading what I’m about to share.

I’m Fif. I’m Muslim. I wear a headscarf.

I’m not ashamed of who I am and I stand by what I do.

I’m not a terrorist. I’m not oppressed. This is who I am and who I want to be.

I’m nervous to post this but I love you guys and I want to be honest with you.

This is who I am.

scourge1850  asked:

Hi, sorry to bother you (AGAIN) but I just wanted to say your head cannons are really cool, (more art based on them is coming btw) I would be honoured to discuss hcs with you if you'd be willing to listen. But I'm sorry if I am over stepping boundaries.

aw, thank you! sometimes i feel like my headcanons are a bit too silly, but there are others that i’ve taken a real fondness over. but i’d love to talk headcanons! whatever you wanna talk about, i’m all ears! 💜

YO

Hey there! My name is Hayley, 16 years old, and I’m seeking someone with a great personality and a quirky sense of humor that matches mine. Since I am from the boring state of Kansas, I’m extremely interested in people from foreign lands and culture.

I love painting with acrylics and watercolors though I have no talent with it whatsoever. I’ve basically spent this entire year on Netflix watching everything from Sherlock to The Great British Baking Show. When I can find the time I also like to play ukulele, read, write and wallow around with my dumb dog.

Music truly is a lifesaver for me; I will listen to practically anything. Rn I’m really in love with I Was Me by Imagine Dragons.

I would really like to meet someone I can talk to about life with. Sometimes I can be up at 1 in the morning with either some extremely stupid thought or a groundbreaking idea that can change the entire world you feel? Or maybe I just want to share a stupid pun. Idk.

I will respect your culture, your beliefs, your sexuality, etc. Please respect me as well :)

Currently, I am learning to speak German, though it’s probably not very accurate. I’ve had two years of experience and if someone that is fluent with the language would like to communicate and help me out that would be fantastic! (Not required haha)

I’d prefer someone age 15-18. Hit me up on my tumblr if you’re interested! littlemissacup

Have a fantastic day!

anonymous asked:

What makes a therapist a good one? I'm studying to be a psychologist and sometimes I wonder how I'm going to do it.

I always loved that my therapist talked about herself, too. She never revealed too much, but she shared experiences and therefore made me feel less “weird” for feeling things I thought only I felt. A dialouge is always better than a monologue, I think. Responding, asking questions, and keeping the session alive by not just sitting there nodding is important. I also liked that my therapist always began and ended the session with a little bit of smalltalk to ease things and help me relax.

anonymous asked:

A close friend came over to my house at 1:30am to soothe me from my nightmares and he kissed the marks on my hands and wiped away my tears. We sat in his car talking about everything and nothing while singing from our weird soundtracks. He stayed until 5 am when I finally felt tired again. I felt more love and sparks than I ever have with my boyfriend. Am I an awful person?

No, of course not. Sometimes friends have a stronger affect than partners and that is absolutely fine — although if you happen to have feelings for your friend it would probably be better if you maybe talked to your boyfriend or took a break to eliminate the risk of hurting him.

5
Sexuality

So I got slightly tipsy the other night and just decided to say that I was Pansexual, and that’s a big deal to me because I am happy and comfortable with my sexuality. Of course, many people have been criticizing this saying I said it “just to get special snowflake tumblerina points” and “but you’re married?!?!?” 

Alright, let’s talk about this so I can clear some things up. One of the main reasons I’ve always been very cautious about my sexuality is because growing up my father made sure to make any kind of non-straight sexuality bad. He would call my gay friends the F word, ask me about once a month if I was a Lesbian like it was a dirty word, and constantly use slurs, etc. It was hard, I questioned my sexuality a lot. I also suffered verbal and sexual abuse from my mother, so that made things even more confusing for me as you can imagine. 

Growing up there were times I thought I was asexual, times I thought I was bi, times I just stopped caring completely because it was just too complicated for me to even think about. I watched the movie “Kinsey” in high school and realized that sexuality was a spectrum and left it at that until I had a lot of therapy much, much later in life.

Recently though (the past year I guess), I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching on finding a label for what I was. I guess because I felt like it was something I was ready to do, and being Pansexual fit what I was. I didn’t care about gender, I didn’t care about anything really, who I was attracted to was never defined by anything I could put reasoning or black and white labels on. And yes, I have been attracted to men and women but their gender had nothing to do with my level of attraction. 

And yes, I’m happily married and love my husband, but sexuality still exists after you’re married. 

Anyway, thanks for listening everyone. It’s hard for me to share these things because of how awful some of my past is, I genuinely don’t like talking about it but sometimes I feel the need to clarify my feelings and sharing them with you all is important. Especially if some of you have struggled through some of the same issues that I have. 

Stay strong, love you tweethearts! <3 

can y'all imagine magnus trying to give kravitz The Talk after taako tells him and merle they’re together as if krav isn’t The Grim Reaper and instead is just some schmuck off the street magnus could kick the beans off

like what’s he gonna do??? “if you hurt taako i’ll kill you???” he’s already dead???? so magnus just pulls him aside and he’s like “look, i could flex my shit and attempt to intimidate you all day, but the real of it is i know you care about him and i want to make sure it stays that way.” and krav is like “absolutely i think taako’s great and i’d never hurt him” and yadda yaada but as magnus is leaving he’s like “but don’t fuck it up or i /will/ literally kill you”

like i love him. he’s so genuine and kind and he literally would fistfight Death himself for his friend and we all know it

People romanticize places they can’t get to themselves. That’s why it’s fascinating when people go dark – when Van Gogh cuts off his ear. You romanticize those people, sometimes out of proportion. It’s the same with music. You want a piece of that darkness, to feel their pain but also to step back into your own [safer] life. I can’t say I had that. I had a really nice upbringing. I feel very lucky. I had a great family and always felt loved. There’s nothing worse than an inauthentic tortured person. ‘They took my allowance away, so I did heroin.’ It’s like – that’s not how it works. I don’t even remember what the question was.

BRO-THINGS #3: Comforting eachother

I dunno what happened. I felt like drawing some hurt/comfort Luro and ended up drawing two sad boys.

I kinda headcanon, that especially Lance is an emotional mess more often than not (guess he’s my long lost soulmate…) and needs someone to comfort him. Since Kuro tends to stay with Lance for sleepovers and stuff, he’s the one to take care of him.

But sometimes they both hurt. Sometimes they both feel like they’re not good enough. So they cuddle up in Lance’s room in a nest of soft pillows and blankets and cry together until they feel well enough to talk about what’s eating them up.

I especially like the idea that this was in fact a bro-thing between the two of them. They tried to comfort and be there for eachother, right from the very start, before they realized there was more than a simple bromance happening. I think that the genuine affection they held for eachother was like the base for everything that evolved later on. :3

About Ciel in chapter 125(aka the Kuro chapter that actually feels like a Kuro chapter again!!)

I mean

he’s taking

no shit

he’s being

sassy af

and I would tell my son to chill

BUT 

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I LOVE HIM!!!

I’ve never been able to tell people how I feel; I’ve always kept it inside. Most often it’s the intensely negative and destructive emotions that I bottle up… most often to the point where they begin to quietly destroy me from the inside out. Everyone seems obsessed with happiness and positivity. We live in a society where everyone has smiling photos and happy lives and I don’t know how to relate because I don’t feel like smiling… I don’t have a particularly happy life.
So I fake it. I pretend. I make my profile photo’s look like everyone else’s, I smile and talk about the weather like everyone else… but what I’m presenting isn’t real a lot of the time.
Sometimes I wonder – what if nobody’s really that happy? What if everyone else is looking at everyone else and pretending to be happy because it’s what they think is ‘normal’.
What if we’re all liars pretending to be something we’re not, when really, feeling sad or discontent IS normal and if one person just stood up and admitted it we’d all start to realize what a farce it really is….
But then I think… perhaps it is just me, and telling people would just bring them down. Perhaps it’s better to keep the negativity inside so it doesn’t hurt other people and make them sad. Because that’s the last thing in the world I’d ever want… to be the cause of someone else feeling what I feel every day…

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but do things really get better? I'm 16 right now and everything I know is sadness and exhaustion and anger and then I talk to my parents and they just complain about adult life... is it worth it to go on?

oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy. i know there are a lot of people who say, oh it gets better. and it does in some ways, but what it really gets is different. the people who are angry and mean and horrible often stay that way. the people who cut you off or who flip you off or who piss you off often are the same people at 16 as at 26. 

i think i hated people telling me “it gets better” because what could get better about being a mentally ill queer cuban girl in a world that wanted to eat me. i got spat out. my writing isn’t published because i’ve been rejected so many times i don’t even notice anymore. i was told a few times “make it less obviously homosexual”. what is going to get better about that, i said to myself. the memory of it will never be a nice one.

things got different slowly. like i didn’t realize until i was far on the other side of it. i wasn’t kidding in that last post when i said today i read my writing at 15 and it was painfully obvious how depressed i was. i didn’t have a diagnosis. like you, all i knew was that i was exhausted and angry and sad all the time and when i talked about it, i was told “everyone feels that way sometimes.” i felt that way all the time. in this story, i don’t suddenly wake up after turning 18 and have a magical life where it is all bunnies and flowers and loving. it took me 3 years of trying before i finally managed to quit self-harm completely. my eating disorder and i are still not on speaking terms, luckily. i’m slowly getting a handle on my ocd. i didn’t realize that the biggest thing that was changing was me.

yeah. being out of the house made it easier. away from where people knew me as a certain person. being someone new or being who i was or being in a room full of people who didn’t care how gay i was. being in control made it better. finding real and true friends made it better. being able to make my own plans and choose my own story and do more than just wait until i was old enough to be taken seriously - it got better.

but honestly it’s me. i learned how to shake hands with depression, he and i are such good old buddies i sometimes see him before he’s even coming. and i’ve gotten so good at getting out of his embrace, because practice makes perfect, same as anything. and i’ve learned things about myself i had no idea about at 16. i didn’t even realize i’m funny. i had never been skinny dipping. my only kiss had been sort of an accident. there was a lot i cared about then that i don’t care about now, because in my new world outside of that, the people i surround myself with don’t care either. i’ve worn a dinosaur onesie pajama set to eight parties now when 19 year old me wouldn’t be seen without her makeup. i wear glasses in public even though i’m nervous they make me look like a bug. i have tattoos and new piercings and a bank account (and no money) and i have love. and i don’t mean with a partner, although i’m blessed enough to say i have that as well - i mean. i just found it. i taught myself how to look for it. i figured - listen, i’m here still, so i might as well, like, try to enjoy it. and it wasn’t overnight. it still goes away sometimes. but i love so much and so easily now. i laugh more because of it. i let myself love dogs and movies and silly things. and this love sort of … makes things better. because it reflects off of everything into you. like a mirror.

at sixteen… at sixteen i was very suicidal. i didn’t know that it applied to me, because i thought i was just annoying and lazy. looking back now i always pull a face at how obvious it was, and how close i got to walking myself into a grave. it was more than a close call. death, like, waved. i actually believed i wouldn’t make it past 18. what was the point? what was the point of anything? i think if i’d told myself then, “it gets better”, i would have laughed. “maybe for you!” i would have said, “you have money and a life and you’re not like this.” but it did get better. in inches. stick around to see it. stick around to see everything wonderful that’s waiting in the wings for you. that knows your name. a fate of beautiful moments that are small and precious, like butterflies landing on fingers or snowflakes on tongues, or just sitting with a good book during the rainfall. hell, stick around to write the book, because (trust me), if you believe in your art and yourself - it can be done.

stick around most of all because what gets better is you fall in love with yourself. the world doesn’t become suddenly sickeningly sweet, even if the people around you become better and you’re given more opportunity. that’s wonderful too but… what happens is that over time, the stuff they told you stops sticking. you realize that just because your nose is crooked it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t stop you from being the best dang ping pong player in your family. you realize you have a family, even if they’re not blood. you realize you are your own family. and you learn to take care of yourself and yes, it gets ugly at times, but you manage. and inside of managing there’s all these wonderful successes like mac and cheese and getting the bills done and the smell of clean laundry and friends that make you laugh so hard you almost pee and an apartment with plants in every corner and a hairless cat in sweaters or a dog with a bowtie or both and watching movies and reading books and seeing art, all of which haven’t been created yet, and possibly you’re the one who makes them. and managing … managing doesn’t have to be big. sometimes it’s just making a small difference. and sometimes the person you make a difference to is yourself. and that’s amazing.

stick around because, trust me, somewhere in there, you meet your younger self in your dreams and you tell her - oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy.

7

🌟THE GOLDEN THREAD TAROT🌟

I’ve only just been able to tear myself away from these beautiful cards in order to make this post. They arrived this morning and ever since, I’ve just been handling them and taking endless photos. I swear, it’s impossible to take a bad picture of this deck! 

Some thoughts and first impressions bellow the cut! 

Keep reading

the reasons why i’ll never sleep in peace again
  • “The number-one thing was I wanted to be honest. I hadn’t done that before.”
  •  "Most of the stuff that hurts me about what’s going on at the moment is not politics, it’s fundamentals,“ Styles says. “Equal rights. For everyone, all races, sexes, everything.”
  • "Since I’ve been 10,” he reflects, “it’s kind of felt like – protect Mom at all costs. … My mom is very strong. She has the greatest heart. [Her house in Cheshire] is where I want to go when I want to spend some time." 
  • And promises are broken like a stitch is … I got splinters in my knuckles crawling ‘cross the floor/Couldn’t take you home to mother in a skirt that short/But I think that’s what I like about it … I see you gave him my old T-shirt, more of what was once mine … 
  • "Sometimes you want to tip the hat, and sometimes you just want to give them the whole cap …  and hope they know it’s just for them." 
  • “I don’t want to hear my favorite artists talk about all the amazing shit they get to do. I want to hear, ‘How did you feel when you were alone in that hotel room, because you chose to be alone?’”
  • “How am I going to be mysterious,” he asks, only half-joking, “when I’ve been this honest with you?" 

Here’s the thing.

I am a transgender man (see photo of my mug for context).

I love all trans people and I love non binary people. But lately some of my trans spaces (both on the web and irl) that are mainly non binary have started to feel a little hostile.

I want to make something perfectly clear before I continue - I love and respect non binary people, I think their genders are valid and I am in no way suggesting they are any less important that myself or any other binary trans person. I also need you to understand that this isn’t meant to be a post calling out non binary people at all, it is just me talking about my personal experiences in the hope that it can get people to be a little more considerate sometimes?

In university spaces, it seems that there is a growing population of non binary people that tends to dominate trans groups. Which is good in lots of ways, especially since it shows how this generation has become much more relaxed and aware that gender is a construct and fluidity is key. However, amongst people I know there is a lot of ‘ew gross men’, or 'ew gross trans men that are masculine’, while at the same time being predominantly DFAB populations.

Now trust me, I very much understand the dislike a lot of dfab trans people have of men. A lot of us are survivors and I think that does play a big part in how we feel about the gender overall. Not to mention it is not uncommon for men to be, for lack of a better word- wankers. However, I don’t think people consider trans men when we are talking about this.

Making a comment like 'ew men are so fucking gross’ to a room of trans people means that to a trans man you are saying one of two things - 1) you are gross, or 2) you aren’t gross because you’re not a Real Man, and you are excluded from this statement because you are and always will be, partly a woman. Even now I feel uncomfortable 'complaining’ about this. I have to remind myself that just as suggesting that a trans woman is somehow different to other women would be considered incredibly offensive, so is it for trans men.

I didn’t realise how much this stuff affected me until it did. Constantly being around people that talk about, how body hair on men is gross, masculinity is by default toxic, making jokes about my masculinity being toxic when I excitedly tell people that I’ve started going to the gym and its making me feel better about my body. No, it’s not funny. It’s MY dysphoria I’m trying to ease. I as a trans person want to feel supported and loved when I do things that have a chance of making me feel good about my body.

It hit me like a brick wall when I realised how much it had affected me. I was with my partner, and was trying to have sex, but I just broke down. I felt so incredibly disgusted with my body and myself. So much hair, so masculine. The noises I made, gross. The way I touched him, creepy. I couldn’t get out of my head the idea that later in life he would talk to people about how gross and unshaven I was, just like I had heard friends describe ex boyfriends so many times before.

I felt cheated because these were the changes I WANTED my body to make. But now they felt ruined. Spoiled.
It was after that realisation that I decided I had to get out. I stopped going to some of student socials and instead started attending a group for older trans people. It was so refreshing to meet other trans men for once (just because I rarely meet them at uni, and it was nice to talk to someone similar.) It was awesome to be around people who weren’t shitty about trans people being stealth (as I remember I once was.)

There are some important things to take away from all of this:

1) Telling trans boys and men that they are disgusting for wanting to be like men will only destroy self esteem and feed into the toxic environment that a lot of cis boys grow up in.

2) Non binary people are extremely valid and awesome, but also must accept they have a responsibility to cultivate a supportive and friendly atmosphere in spaces where they are dominant (I put this in here for university spaces especially)

3) Laughing at a trans man/woman for being excessively masc/fem presenting if you are a dfab nb person who mainly presents as fem or androgynous is facetious and not respecting that they may have to present that way to stay safe, (especially in the case of trans women that may be more 'obviously trans’) and that despite suffering prejudice in many ways, the one thing you are not realistically facing is street violence and such because you inevitably are not going to be clocked as trans. (which yes, does NOT make your transness invalid but we have to respect the different struggles people in our community face.)

4) Someone being stealth does not mean they are adhering to 'toxic gender roles’. It means they are either 1) trying to be safe or 2) surprise surprise they want to live their life as the gender they identify with. Trans people are not less legitimately trans because you think they are 'acting cis’.

5) Being a binary trans person does not give you privilege over nb people. Like seriously, trans women are literally the most likely to be murdered. Don’t be a dick. Erasure is a problem yes but it’s not the same. I read names out at the TDOR vigil and pretty much all of them were trans women of colour. Respect that. Help the community. This isn’t about scoring points over who has it the shittiest.

6) The idea that the only good kinda of trans men are 'soft sensitive kinda trans masc guys that don’t have surgeries and shave all their body hair’ is shitty and offensive (tho that kind of trans man is totally valid, that not what i mean). Its shitty because one you’re sexualising them either as more childlike or more feminine (both is rude, former is creepy), but its perpetuating the idea that trans men aren’t really men and the best ones are the ones that YOU think still kinda look suitably enough like women.