sometimes i remember they only kissed once for real and i cry

a hundred random starters 

below are starters based on/inspired by various sources. change the genders as you see fit ;)

  • ❝ why do you keep lying to me? ❞
  • ❝ have you ever considered the idea that maybe, this world doesn’t revolve around you & your problems? ❞
  • ❝ love is love is love is love. ❞
  • ❝ marriage is an absurd arrangement. one is sold as a fifteen-year-old child and makes a vow one does not understand and then regrets for thirty years or more, and which one can never undo again. ❞
  • ❝ why are you crying this time? ❞
  • ❝ you will never escape. ❞
  • ❝ this isn’t what I wanted! ❞
  • ❝ everything has its consequences. ❞
  • ❝ this face bears the mission of heaven. ❞
  • ❝ no, you shall dismantle the house of lies, but build the temple of the divine. ❞
  • ❝ one copper coin for a bowl of noodles! ❞
  • ❝ that one has the heart of a lion. ❞
  • ❝ I needed to be summoned. ❞
  • ❝ there’s no reason for this hostility! I come in peace. ❞
  • ❝ they died screaming. ❞
  • ❝ why fight anymore? what’s the point of fighting against destiny? ❞
  • ❝ how long have you known? ❞
  • ❝ I can only speak for myself. ❞
  • ❝ the law can be changed. ❞
  • ❝ are you sure you’re not pregnant? ❞
  • ❝ your child is adorable! ❞
  • ❝ you gave him a riddle for his birthday? ❞
  • ❝ you have no fucking right to treat me this way. ❞
  • ❝ your ambition blinds you. ❞
  • ❝ he adores you. ❞
  • ❝ I feel like I should be shocked that you two had sex there, but I’m not anymore. ❞
  • ❝ she’s going to kill you. ❞
  • ❝ have you ever tried the cakes? they’re actually quite delicious. ❞
  • ❝ you’ll need to be punished. ❞
  • ❝ you should learn to lie better. ❞
  • ❝ sometimes I wonder if you’re real. ❞
  • ❝ I will take back what is mine & kill anyone who stands in my way. ❞
  • ❝ then kill me. ❞
  • ❝ there’s no such thing as love. there is only lust. ❞
  • ❝ you’re selfish. you never think about anyone but yourself. ❞
  • ❝ i’m sorry, but they’re gone. ❞
  • ❝ death is just another adventure. ❞
  • ❝ stop! ❞
  • ❝ let them watch. ❞
  • ❝ you have no shame, do you? ❞
  • ❝ I can’t believe we’re talking about this right now. ❞
  • ❝ I need advice. sex advice. ❞
  • ❝ alright, tell me the truth, is he good in bed? ❞
  • ❝ she is the best thing in my life. ❞
  • ❝ you love him? ❞
  • ❝ do you love me at all? ❞
  • ❝ do you believe in soul mates? ❞
  • ❝ please, you have to believe me. I didn’t kill anyone! ❞
  • ❝ history is written by the victorious. ❞
  • ❝ at least she has a heart! you have none. ❞
  • ❝ isn’t it more important that they told you? ❞
  • ❝ the king is displeased. ❞
  • ❝ long live your majesty! ❞
  • ❝ can you stop talking for just one moment & listen to me? ❞
  • ❝ no matter how hard I try, they just won’t stay dead. ❞
  • ❝ he’s a gold digger. he’ll screw anyone & marry them as long as they have money. ❞
  • ❝ o! how sweet love must be! ❞
  • ❝ do you really think that? ❞
  • ❝ quick, you need to hide before they see you! ❞
  • ❝ you taught me to never trust anyone. ❞
  • ❝ this is extreme, even for you. ❞
  • ❝ you guys were pretty loud last night. I guess it was good? ❞
  • ❝ that wasn’t an apology & you know it. ❞
  • ❝ are you a virgin? ❞
  • ❝ I’m married. ❞
  • ❝ best thing I ever did was marrying you. ❞
  • ❝ red roses won’t erase the fact that you broke my heart. ❞
  • ❝ stop taking all the ice cream! ❞
  • ❝ has anyone told you that you’re sort of a little bitch? ❞
  • ❝ it’s deep dish pizza. ❞
  • ❝ do you want to fight for your land back or not? ❞
  • ❝ I never realized how much of a coward you are. ❞
  • ❝ there’s nothing worse than someone who isn’t willing to try new things. ❞
  • ❝ haven’t you ever wanted to escape? to leave this place & explore the world? ❞
  • ❝ i think you’ve had enough to drink. ❞
  • ❝ your ancestors would be ashamed if they saw you. ❞
  • ❝ one of the dolls is missing! ❞
  • ❝ are we going to die here? ❞
  • ❝ well looks like we’ve found ourselves in a bit of a dilemma. ❞
  • ❝ I am no longer a child! ❞
  • ❝ the baby won’t stop crying! i don’t know what to do anymore! ❞
  • ❝ what if something happens to them? ❞
  • ❝ once upon a time, I gave a damn about what people thought about me. ❞
  • ❝ if he can get away with this, then so can i! ❞
  • ❝ the dark shall come & take everything you love from you. ❞
  • ❝ it’s the same story over & over again. you’d think people would know better by now. ❞
  • ❝ there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. ❞
  • ❝ you are what is wrong with this world. ❞
  • ❝ shattered dreams can drive anyone mad. ❞
  • ❝ I am a phoenix. burn me & I shall return, rising from the ashes. ❞
  • ❝ this is my home. ❞
  • ❝ home is where the heart is, where you feel safe & warm & loved. ❞
  • ❝ running away has never solved a damn thing! ❞
  • ❝ fuck me. ❞
  • ❝ oh the things I’d do to you if we were alone. ❞
  • ❝ stop, he’s not here, remember? he’s gone & he can’t hurt you anymore. ❞
  • ❝ your husband/wife – is he/she good to you? ❞
  • ❝ stop & think a moment, you have to stay & rest. there’s a child who needs you now, you can’t just run & be a fucking idiot. ❞
  • ❝ once, I drank a whole bottle by myself. ❞
  • ❝ what do I want? I want to kiss you a thousand times before undressing you & kissing every bit of your flesh a thousand more times. ❞
I’m tired of being sad and having no clue as to why I am this way, so I’ll write about the happy bits of me and why I smile. I dance when I’m alone, when the music gets just right and I’m sure that no one is watching, it’s okay to feel lonely, I used to not like the idea of it, but once you’re comfortable in your own skin even depression starts to feel like a breeze. I’m reading a book that says we are the beliefs and thoughts that we think and believe in. So if I say that I’m happy a thousand times, one of those will come back as true. So if I say I’ll find the love of my life some day, some day she’ll appear in front of me while I’m writing another poem. It’s good to have goals, the only goal I’ve ever had up until recently was to keep myself happy with someone else, that’s not a goal, but an illusion. You can’t live your life for someone else, it’s called your life for a reason. Happiness must happen when I say so, so I’m saying so. We bring into this world the kind of kindness that we’ve been dealt, so when I fake a smile, my mother is omnipresent. Although it’s not real, fake it until you make it, right? The book also says, spend more time doing things that make you lose track of time, so I decided to write again and more often than not, to not compare myself to others because once you start doing that, there’s no going back. I don’t write like someone else, I write like myself. I don’t think like anyone that I know, there’s just you and the beautifully twisted world, we’re all trying to find redemption inside of coral skies and trustworthy friends. I would break my own hand to contain my anger, it is contained. Happiness is what we make it, so if I say that it exists, then it will be so. Listening to your guidance, that makes me happy. You know who you are. Breathless to the words, you paint the sunrise with your pinky and promise that as long as I’m here today, tomorrow will not be filled with sorrow. I keep writing letters to the future person that I will be, I wonder if I’ll change. I probably will, we all do in one way or another. I’m the kind of person that snaps a picture of the sky while I’m driving, I’m reckless, but we’re still alive. Life’s too short and I need to be more careful, I’m certain that death has given up a few passes for me. Do you ever feel like you’re running out of time? Like there’s something trying to make a statement, a lost word that even google couldn’t even get its hands on. Do you ever feel like no one’s really listening? We’re all selfish in the end, but the ones that truly listen– they are the ones that I live for. I maintain online friendships better than I do with my siblings, I guess our thinking is just on different frequencies. On the topic of frequencies– the you that you would like to be is out there, you just need to listen. Hear the right words said by the right person and you’ll be in the right spot to be the you that you’d want to be in this life. Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough? Remember that thing I said about thoughts? Sometimes we just need to let go a little bit, embrace the art of it. To be left to the wind, the unknown will bring us to more adventures and you may not be loved by many, but there’s a chance that you will be– why not take it? I would like to break out of this, I want to smile more and to laugh a little louder, I just want to make myself proud of who I will be versus who I used to be. And you can’t turn back the hands of time, you cannot change your mistakes– they are permanent, but you are not. There is a fire inside of your chest and if you keep suffocating yourself with an indescribable pain then you’ll only suffer in a incomprehensible way. I just want to fill this world with more love and less pain, I see a butterfly and I’m easily distracted– how beauty will fly past you if you’re not even paying attention because you’re so damn sad all of the time. So I drop all signs of negativity and lean towards the positive, I am the only vibe that’ll alter my moods, so I must feel more wealthy than a million silver spoons even if I don’t have any, so I must create the art that likes to spill from my fingertips, we live such short lives– why not be the best version of yourself? Who will you be if tomorrow was your last day on this planet? Will you cry because it’s over? Or will you search the ends of the earth until you’ve found the fountain of youth? I’ve got a secret to share with you. You can be a 100 years old and still have the sweetest smile, you can be in your 20s and have a soul heavy enough to sink the titanic, life is strange, life is strange. We live our youth to buy pretty things, but live our oak days trying to make up more time– it waits for no one, the wrong turn will break you, a simple kiss will turn your thoughts into poetry and a life of self-hate is a road that needs constant validation– why not be your own way out? Be your own lover, be your own brand of music, be your own kind of poem, be your own story of kindness, and if you’re not perfect just look around– nobody is. I’m tired of dreaming, I want to build it instead. You can’t be who you want to be if you’re still having the same thoughts from last year– you can’t change or heal in the right way if you’re not willing to break a few pieces of your heart because the clutter inside of our minds often match the attitude that we give off. So like a quote, so like a poem, so like a bedtime story. If I repeat it enough times, I’ll be happy. I just want to be happy. I just want to let go of the bad feelings. I just want to love myself enough to see a brighter day. You can’t change the world if you can’t even change yourself, right? If I repeat it enough times, then it must be real. I will be happy. Sadness is a crucial emotion because without it, being delighted and euphoric wouldn’t be so dense, but that’s the beauty of the intensity to which we should love ourselves. I want to be so fucking glad to wake up today that it’ll just drown my depression into the white noise. I want to glow in the dark and live like the jellyfishes, give my poetry the immortality to always bring a smile onto the faces of those that love who I am even if I’m a bit flawed because at the end of the day– you’re the only one sleeping on your bed, you’re the only one who’s going to determine if you’ve got enough room to breathe, you’re the only one to have the last say if you’re art or not.
—  I wanted to write something happy for you–
yes, you. The person that’s reading this.
Ultimate Viktuuri FicRec

(☉‿☉✿) I know y’all have been craving some Viktuuri fics, even more so since it’s already ended and we have to wait for season 2. So what better way to pass time than to read some good ol’ fanfics. Here’s a list for you guys. ENJOY   (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧


From the moon by ButterBeerBitch

Victor Nikiforov, the living legend, winner of five consecutive World Championships and five straight Grand Prix Finals - was in Yuuri’s bed. Yuuri’s bumpy, squeaky bed, with the Pokémon stickers peeling off the frame and the unwashed sheets.
“Smells like you,” Victor mumbled, careful and coy.

Yuuri was on the verge of passing out.

-

Or that one time Victor finds out why Yuuri has never let him inside his bedroom because….well, we all know why…


Things we’re all too young to know by incode

Victor miscalculates a date.


Family Arrangements by xshiroi_aki

“It’s like watching a kid, his parents, and his grandparents.”

Her marriage status aside, it kind of made sense.

That was an arrangement she could work with.


In your area by Suzariah

“Hot Russian singles are in your area.”

Yuuri probably wishes he had adblock. Victor is amused.


Get me to the Church on time by InsomniacArrest

Stories of various characters on the day of Victor and Yuuri’s wedding.

Everyone on the big day as Victor and Yuuri prepare to get hitched.


Disaster by LFMH021

“I know that one way or another, Viktor will marry you anyway. I will be your best man right so–” Phichit stated.

Chris raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me? I’m pretty sure I am the best man in their wedding.”

Yurio frowned and crossed his arms. “I was the one who suffered when these two were still pining each other. I think I deserve to be with them at the altar at the very least.”

Yuuri and Viktor glanced at each other, torn.

Yuuri didn’t really expect that Viktor’s statement about their engagement and [if] marriage would bring disaster and chaos into their night right before the Grand Prix Final’s Short Program.


Habit by LFMH021

Yuuri has developed a habit. Before competitions, whenever he wants to concentrate and exercise at the same time, he faces the wall, braces his forearms on it and then wiggle his hips while trying to recite over and over again his routine.

With earphones in and eyes shut, he doesn’t see the way others stare at him. Viktor does, though, and try to bring their attentions away. Phichit and Chris are little shits, as usual.


Amateur or Expert? Watermellonsmellinfellon

“The instructor at the local ice rink was cute. Cute with his glasses on and downright sexy with them off. And Victor just really wanted to spend some alone time with him, but there seemed to be no free time in the other’s schedule. Which left Victor considering other methods.”

In which Victor pretends he isn’t a figure skating genius all so he could talk to Yuuri.


Next time he’ll ask by Kaylin and Kira (Saphie)

Yuuri gets experimental and tries out something new in bed – calling Viktor “daddy” – but because of Viktor’s insecurities about aging, things go unexpectedly (and absurdly) wrong. [Not a daddy!kink fic so much as a humorous subversion.]


Passive-Aggressive by JapaneseAnimeFreak16

Chris has seen many strange things in his life, but he’s never seen this.

“Victor…why are you eating cereal with a spatula?”


Love Like You by LFMH021

“Viktor, it’s your turn to throw the garbage, right?”

“Nope~ Can’t remember such an agreement~” Viktor sing-sang, tiptoeing back to their bedroom.

“Yuuri, did you eat my pint of ice cream while I was out?”

“H-Huh? No way!” Yuuri spluttered with a speck of chocolate on the corner of his lips.

With each other and Makkachin by their sides on their own cozy home with framed (stolen, random and wedding) photographs occupying most of the wall, Viktor and Yuuri couldn’t ask for more.

[Basically, just a domestic Viktuuri fluff wherein Episode 11 was resolved, both of them retired but they both applied as coaches [with Yuuri as skating tutor for kids], they got married and were now living happily in their own home with Makkachin in Spain. Alternating POVs.]


Liar Liar Pants on Fire by shingeki_no_llama

Yuuri’s (not-so-secret) secret gay crush on Victor is discovered after Victor storms into his room unannounced! How will his idol and newfound coach react?

Hint: he will be very touched *wink*


Of Onsen-Holly Water by Moe_Bear

So, here’s the deal: in order to achieve such perfection, one must obligatory have contracted with Satan himself. There is no other explanation. Yuri Plisetsky is damn sure about it.


All the Times Yuuri ran from Viktor, and the One Time He Didn’t by Reisil

Or, the five times Yuuri ran from Viktor, and the time that Viktor held on.
In which Yuuri finds that he is constantly running from Viktor, until Viktor decides he’s had enough.


Just Date Me Already by Ame (Ulan)

Victor has never wanted anything more in his life.

“Yuuri, go out with me.”

“Eeh?”


let him know by mutation

Victor returns to Hasetsu alone. When he arrives at the Katsuki household, someone is waiting for him.


remembrance by doubletan

Victor remembers the confusion, hurt and rejection when he finds the empty hotel room that had once been occupied by an individual bearing the name of Katsuki Yuri hours ago, and said individual was now en route to Japan. He remembers sinking to the carpeted floor in his pajamas before returning to his own room to curl up in his comforter. He remembers Yakov coming over to help him pack with pity evident in his eyes when the check out time had long past and Victor was nowhere to be found. And all Victor could do was lie immobile on the bed with tears he thought would never end. He remembered lecturing his own self mentally, that it was ridiculous to act this way for someone you had only met once, but yet, he could not deny the fact that last night was the first time Victor had felt honestly living, relieved from the burdens and expectations as a renowned and international ice skater. Being with Yuri had felt absolutely right.

or a fic of how a heartbroken Victor had fared since that banquet and how he finally won Yuri’s heart


Looking for A Clue by rosenlight

It takes one touch and Yuuri’s head goes haywire.


Take My Hand - Take My Whole Life Too by shingeki_no_llama

Victor Nikiforov thinks he knows just who has their thoughts scrawled so carelessly on the back of his hand. He can only pray he is right.

———
Soulmate AU where the thoughts of your soulmate inscribe themselves on your skin in a temporary ever-changing tattoo


Ask Me by MarginalMadness

Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way you want it to. Especially when you give someone else the power to break your heart.


stay by my side by paranoid_fridge

“Finally!” somebody shouts and Yuuri jumps. Russian Yuri stomps toward him, expression dark. “He’s on his third round of that.” Yuri jerks a thumb to the rink behind his back. “Make him stop before he hurts himself.”

Aka Yuuri says “let’s end this”, Viktor turns to melodramatic skating, they get to cry and kiss (in that order) and all is well in the end.


Masks off by emulikule

And so the story goes that a playboy comes to a town, makes it fall in love with him and then proceeds to get himself enticed by the most mysterious person there.

Wait… did it really go like that?


Stress Is Bad by MEIXIU

“I can’t handle this. Stress is bad for the baby.” Yuuri deadpans.
If everyone were drinking something, they would have spat out their drinks in surprise.


An Examination of Stamina by Viktor Nikiforov by Anonymous_Ostrich

“Viktor…” Yuuri’s voice was low and gravelly, his teeth grazing the bend of Viktor’s neck, “Is it really okay to keep going?” His cock stirred inside of Viktor, still rock hard, still eager. The feeling of Yuuri’s semen trickling slowly out of his stretched hole made Viktor shiver, and he grabbed Yuuri’s chin in his hand, yanking his face up so that their eyes could meet.

“I’ll say this once, Yuuri. Give me everything you’ve got. Don’t stop even if I beg for you to.”


Accidentally Seductive  by braveten

Yuuri Katsuki is a walking contradiction.

(And it’s driving Viktor mad.)


Out For A Walk by Cinnamean

Yuri goes out with Yakov to explore town and gets separated from his coach. Walking around town with no money for food, he runs into the two infamous lovebirds.


Darling, Please Don’t Ask Me by HisRedEmpress

Sometimes, letting things left unsaid can be harmful.

But sometimes, only sometimes, there’s just no words needed.


yuri is even more done with everyone than previously believed by thankyouforexisting

There are things Yuri isn’t proud of, regardless of how superior to everyone else he is. Few things, of course, but still there nonetheless, though he loathes exposing them. One of his regrets might be, for example, not reading the summary of Fifty Shades of Grey before his mom mentioned off-handedly, “We should watch it, Yura.” (He can never look at her in the same way again.)

Going out for Victor’s “ exciting stag night” (which is a terrible name for it, as it mostly consisted in him sitting down and watching skaters get progressively drunker as they tried to do jumps off ice on the corner of a busy street, while everyone stared) and allowing himself to be roped into a hopeless bet has just become his newest, most fresh regret.


Unwritten by kaizuka

Soulmates AU where whatever you write on your own skin appears on your soulmate, but when there is a language barrier, meeting becomes just a little more difficult than it should be.


A Safe Place To Fall by uchiuchi

“Can I…?”

Viktor’s voice breaks Yuuri out of his trance and he focuses on Viktor, waiting for the words to come out. But Viktor doesn’t say anything more, eyes flickering between Yuuri’s eyes and mouth, and then his finger stops moving and he pulls it back.

He looks like he has more he wants to say, but doesn’t.


I’m Right Next Door by i_like_my_eggs_benedict

“The first time he heard it, Yuri Plisetsky thought he was imagining it.”


On Our Love by LiaoftheDawn

Everything was so easy and real with Yuuri. Even with the lingering tension and the unspoken inevitability of separation, they somehow managed to fall back into something close to a routine, effortless conversation, easy jabs and quiet smiles and something he wanted to hold on to for the rest of his life. Home.

Or the one where Victor thinks he’s doing the right thing, manages to disappoint all the Yuris in his life, and still everything works out at the end.


victory cheer by SportsAnimeRuinedMyLife (KnightOfRage)

Victor kissed Yuuri. You better believe all of these people have something to say about it.

Or…Mari is exhausted, Minako is confused, Nishigori is supportive, Yakov is annoyed, Yuri is pissed, Phichit is the best friend anyone could ever have and Yuuri just wants to kiss Victor again.


Five Kisses by oh_imintrouble

It hadn’t seemed out of the ordinary at the time. Victor had always been free with his affection; throwing out compliments, light caresses, even the occasional peck to the cheek. After a little over a week of having him as his coach, Yuuri was sure he had gotten used to it. It was just a Westerner thing, no use getting riled up if Victor wasn’t going to be stopping it anytime soon.

Then it happened.

~~~

Victor likes kissing Yuuri and Yuuri is frustratingly dense


rumour has it by lunaetude

Viktor Nikiforov is a genius. He tops the level without having to study and he can perform most spells without his wand. He was the second-ever first-year Seeker in the school, and the first Slytherin one at that. He’s a Parselmouth and he’s tamed the other basilisk hidden in the school’s plumbing. He has washboard abs and really defined hipbones. He’s the only son in a long line of pureblood Slytherins and he’s half-Veela and he can speak Mermish and he was born as Voldemort’s secret daughter which is why he’s prettier than half of the girls in school and—

‘Where do you even get all these?’ Viktor asks, eyebrows drawn together in bemusement. ‘I’m not even a pureblood, I’m Muggleborn.’


Dance Along by feelslikefire

Five Times Victor Kissed Yuuri, and One Time Yuuri Kissed Victor


Hold Onto Me by novocaine_sea

“Let’s end this.” Yuuri said, but it was the last thing he meant.

That was the last thing he wanted to say.


True Eros by Nerd_Queen

Viktor can’t sleep. Thats when he hears it.

A groan


the history books are made for us by d10smessi 

Victor thinks, I’ll never love someone this way again.

or: Victor Nikiforov, on loving Katsuki Yuuri.


a kingdom, or this by perennials 

The problem is, Yuuri sees Viktor’s face light up at every performance except his own.

The problem is, Yuuri takes off his glasses when he skates.

The problem is, Yuuri doesn’t see.


Addicted (to the taste of you) by smudgesofink

It’s mortifying. Of course it’s mortifying.

But even with his hands restless by his sides and his stomach buzzing with butterflies and adrenaline and nerves, Yuuri finds that he oddly doesn’t mind the attention. Or rather, Yuuri can’t bring himself to care, for once. He’s exhausted to the bone from his performance, eyes slow and limbs heavy from running on little to no sleep for more than 24 hours now, not to mention kind of emotionally drained from his mental breakdown earlier.

If anything, Yuuri kind of wants Victor to kiss him again. Preferably right now.

At once.

Immediately.

(It’s turning into a problem.)


Five Times Viktor and Yuuri Were Jealous of Makkachin (and the one time they weren’t) by braveten

“Viktor will do whatever is necessary in order to never see Yuuri cry again. He’d walk miles across broken glass. He’d relinquish all of his gold medals to JJ Leroy. He’d let Phichit hack his Instagram account.”


Viktor and Yuuri are jealous of Makkachin on multiple occasions, but the adorable brown poodle might be the only way to get them to realize their love for one another.


constellations of me and you by theargonaut

He can’t look away from Viktor, even when he turns and catches him staring. Truth be told, he can never look away from Viktor. Not even in the beginning; surely, not in any dimension or attic of spacetime, could Katsuki Yuuri have ever looked away from Viktor Nikiforov. And when Viktor looks back at him, smiling, it’s all that matters to him.


Question and Answer by chellethewriter

Viktor is growing old, and his competitors seem to be growing younger and younger. Thus, with every passing year, Viktor finds fewer familiar faces at his Grand Prix banquets, and he wonders whether his attendance has become pointless. What he doesn’t realize, however, is that one unfamiliar, alcohol-reddened face can make the whole night more than worthwhile.


(A canon-compliant retelling of the banquet in which Viktor falls head-over-heels for a certain drunk, Japanese figure skater, and Yuri Plisetsky is both displeased and incredulous).


Pretty For Me by blushunder

A month and a half into becoming more than just skater and coach, Viktor is struck by a realization while Yuuri tries on his old costumes.


Nighttime Sparklers by brumalbreeze

“If anyone should feel lucky, shouldn’t it be me?” Yuuri murmured. “I mean, you’re the Viktor Nikiforov, after all. You could have anyone you want….”

Viktor let his breath fan evenly over Yuuri’s neck as he listened to his words. Though he couldn’t see it, he could imagine Yuuri’s knit brows and small frown. He tightened his grip around Yuuri’s waist and thought about what had happened earlier in the day. This was a different scenario, but Yuuri was feeling anxious and unsure again, and he needed comforting. Viktor didn’t want to mess up this time. He wanted to do things right.


i know my madness by astoryaboutwar

It’s hardly a secret that Victor Nikiforov is a massive player.

(In which Yuuri doesn’t blow the Grand Prix Finals the first time round, does blow Victor, and everything changes but ends up the same.)


– updated version below this  (✿◠‿◠)–


I want to stay close to you by Cloud111

Yuuri swallowed, letting his head turn back to the legend sprawled out on his bed. To the first person to reach out for him after he’d pushed them away. To the man that had taught him to love himself and taught him to want things because he could get them if only he tried.

“I want… you.”


Yuuri!!! On Pole by Noble_Nook

Viktor Nikiforov is an accomplished, world famous dancer-turned-choreographer who has struck out to rekindle a spark he seems to be missing after so many years on and off the stage, only to soon find it wrapped around a stripper pole in Japan.


Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya

‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries.

Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.


On My Love by RikoJasmine

For the second time, the Sochi Grand Prix Finals arrive, and with it a reborn Yuuri Katsuki. “Viktor,” Yuuri thinks over the pounding of his heart, the crowd going silent as the music begins. “I’ll show the world what you meant to me.”

Yuuri often thinks of his life as Before and After Viktor Nikiforov, the marking point being the day Viktor swept into his life and turned his world upside-down. After many years together, an accident leads to Yuuri suddenly waking up in the Before—back in Detroit, before the GPF, before he ever knew Viktor as anything other than his childhood idol.

As if it had all been just a dream.


I Wanted To Check by insatiablerealist

Yuuri is an artist, Viktor is a ballet teacher, and they find themselves sharing an apartment in Barcelona. The only problem is they speak two different languages, but despite that, they fall in love.

Love Actually AU based on the Colin Firth/language barrier storyline, you don’t need to know the movie to get the story. The setting etc is all changed but the plot is mostly the same.


you’re like heaven to touch by lazulisong

“Is this because I let you watch American movies as a child,” says Yakov flatly. “The ones where the popular boy gives his coat to the pretty girl?”

Victor puts up both eyebrows in a delicately mocking gesture that was unbearable when he was a fey creature of sixteen and makes Yakov yearn to clip him around the ears now, when he’s twenty-eight. “'Let’ me?” he says.


5 Lessons on Sexuality Victor Taught Yuuri (+1 Lesson Yuuri Taught Victor) by angel_kink

Whether Victor realized it or not, he taught Yuuri many valuable things about sexuality. But Yuuri had a lesson for Victor as well.


Move Close by SigmundFreud

Now fully awake Victor could feel his morning wood pressing against his lover’s ass. Damn. He wondered if Yuuri would be upset if he woke the student up for a short love making session before work and school.


the distance between our fingers by awkwardedgeworth

If Otabek were a bystander, he would see Victor Nikiforov being a ruthless coach, raising his voice at Yuri’s less than stellar free leg, It’s a normal occurrence, the older retired skater pointing out areas Yuri can work on.

But Otabek is not a bystander, and he sees the glint of a golden ring from Victor’s right hand, slipped around his ring finger like a reminder.

A reminder that Victor, estranged with nowhere else to go, was picked up by Yuri and Yakov to go back to Russia so he can have a semblance of a life back.

A life without Yuuri Katsuki.


I see the universe in your eyes by fangirlandiknowit

Before Yuuri realizes what’s happening, he’s been kissed by Viktor Nikiforov.

It’s a small kiss, but Viktor’s lips are soft and dry, brushing over his slow enough that he can feel the tingle of it for minutes afterwards.

It was a kiss, and-

If Yuuri wins, he can ask for another.

Maybe more than one, even.

(Maybe he’ll ask for as many kisses as there are stars in the universe.)



The Grass is Dead by ztellar

It had been two days since the house next door had been moved into, and today, Saturday, it seemed that whoever was going to live there had finally moved in themself. It was all anyone in the neighborhood would talk about, Morooka had even stopped by for a surprise visit so that he, Phichit, and Yuuri could watch their new neighbor from Yuuri’s kitchen window.


The only cue of someone even living in the house was the chitter of a sprinkler in both the front and back lawn.


“He’s got a pretty nice looking car, from here,” Morooka commented.


“Yeah but who has a nice car and moves into a shady house?” Phichit retorted, his question seemingly rhetorical. After a beat of silence he made a tch sound and cocked a hip, “Only pimps or rich kids running from their super sad and oppressive lives, that’s who.”


An Alternate Payment Scheme by exclamation

Yuri and Victor never did discuss what Victor’s coaching fees would be. When Yuri brings the subject up again, Victor has some interesting ideas.



Hell No by LoveActually_rps

Would you tell anyone when you accidentally learn that the person you adore the most and the person you hate the most are actually soulmates? Hell no! [– a novel by Yuri Plisetsky]


Buy 1, Get 50% Off by ayyyywhatsup

Yuuri is just a 21 yr old college student who is trying to win at life. When he gets into an argument with his roommate, Phichit, he rushes out of the apartment to make amends. The only shop he can afford is a dainty flower store in the busy city of Detroit.

Flower shop! AU


Then you should have put a ring on it by ObsidianAbyss

Recently, it’s become a trend for students to exchange rings with their significant others. Although Yuuri is very much single and uninterested, he wears a pretty ring that mostly goes unnoticed by his peers.
That is until Victor Nikiforov starts wearing an exact copy of Yuuri’s ring and flaunts it around.

Loosely based on Only the Ring Finger knows


He Did More Than Drink Till Dawn by TrashBambi (orewakei)

Viktor had spent so many nights fantasising about the Japanese man, remembering the way he’d ground against him as he begged Viktor to be his coach. 


Anything Could Happen by Creepikat

After two years Viktor and Yuuri finally get married. They rent a Hotel near Detroit, in a beautiful and snowy place. Everyone’s here. The future husbands are idiots. Phichit is a best man. Christophe too. And somehow he’s even more dashing than usual. This is gonna be a merry mess. 


To Savior by Kaishiru

“Today is all about you,” Yuuri breathed, fingers fanning out over the obvious bulge in his lover’s trousers.

In which Yuuri makes Viktor’s birthday a day he will never forget.


Mille-Feuille by hanakoto

“You-you were talking dirty, weren’t you?”

“Wow, Yuuri! How can you tell? I could be talking about eating chicken soup and you wouldn’t even know.”

Yuuri discovers that Victor is fluent in French.


Better Romance by EttaMills

Yuuri was no playboy, but he did, to people’s shock, have romantic experience before Viktor. However, it was no love story and bad memories tend to reopen old wounds.


Luckily, Viktor is more than h
appy to not only patch up those wounds, but rub a little salt in the person that caused them. 


Clap Back by EttaMills

A few months after the embarrassing Instagram incident, Yuuri had foolishly thought there would be no consequences.


However, certain hockey players learn that you can’t go after Ice Skating’s number one katsudon without dealing with the squad.


a certain playboy by fan_nerd

@v-nikiforov - The handsome playboy has returned to town. Please pay special attention to my Free Skate tomorrow. ♥♥♥

There’s no way that Victor, Yuuri’s childhood idol, could be calling Yuuri a handsome playboy, just because they’d met eyes at two skating events. Besides, a total stranger had given Yuuri the tickets. It would be totally absurd.

Yuuri frowns, turning his head on the pillow. Wouldn’t it?


Later Date by triste

“Here’s the thing, see,” Victor breezes. “Yuuri mysteriously misplaced his suppressants, so now he’ll be going into heat. It’s a terrible shame, I know, but I could never leave him to deal with this on his own. I’m his alpha, remember? And his coach. And his fiancé.”

“It’s the middle of the season!” Yakov roars. “Vitya, you can’t just–”

“See you in five days!” Victor says brightly.

Then the line goes dead.

Yakov hurls his phone at the window in impotent rage, and it actually makes a bigger dent than Yurio’s did.

“I wish people would stop doing that,” Georgi sighs.


Break the Cycle by SigmundFreud

Yuuri’s neck was bright red, matching the colors of his cheeks. His eyes were half-lidded with pupils blown wide. He could try to avoid Victor all he wanted, but standing this close to the man made Yuuri lose all rational thought. Victor was like a drug, the strongest drug Yuuri knew, and he could never reject those lips.

College AU where Yuuri is a grad student addicted to fucking his ex, and Victor is secretly suffering from heartbreak.


Russian for Dummies by cutthroatpixie

“Are you a beginner?”

Viktor was not a beginner. Viktor was the TA supposedly in charge of this study session. Viktor spoke Russian. Viktor was Russian.

“Sure!”


Strange Bedfellows by ikemegane

When Yuri’s childhood crush showed up at his door, naked, full of impossible promises, the young skater didn’t even know what to think. When Yuri somehow ends up with said childhood crush in his bed, however, his body does the thinking for him.


santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight by frolickingangels

Yuuri has a sweet, little surprise for the birthday boy.


Consequences of Jetlag by paintstroke

The morning after Yuuri arrives in St. Petersburg he decides that this might be his one chance to wake Viktor up however he wants…

Shameless fluffy smut, PWP.

Japan is 6 hours ahead of St. Petersburg.


We’ll Remember These Nights by Cornflower

“You look just like the poster in my room,” Yuuri slurred, barely holding himself up in Viktor’s arms, “but you have more clothes on.” He giggled. The words hit Viktor hard, and he didn’t know how much more his weak gay heart could handle. He barely even noticed Yakov leaving the room with his head cradled in his hands.

Or in other words, what really went down at the banquet last year, and what that meant for them now.


So that’s it for now! I’ll update this from time to time but here are some of the fics I found  ╰(◡‿◡✿╰)

Remember to give kudos to the authors!

UPDATED!! (January 02, 2017)

((I know that I didn’t really add a lot but I promise I still have some that I’m going to post, I just feel really lazy atm (▰˘◡˘▰) haha whoops. I thought about making the updated fics into a separate post, sort of like a part two but eh, I decided no to. If there are some repeats from the earlier fics I rec’d let me know so that I can edit it out and also, if you want to submit a fic, please do!   ◕‿◕ ))

neil talks to andrew about baltimore.

tw for burning, ptsd, panic attacks, torture

neil felt his arms tied behind his back. he wasn’t in the car, wasn’t in any room or any real place. it was just dark. black. he couldn’t see anything, but could feel the tight metal of the hand cuffs scrapping into his wrists. the world was a mindless shape, an empty space.

beside his ear, he heard lola. she whispered cruel nothings beside him, taunting him, torturing him with words. threatening the foxes. threatening his family. she told him what she was going to do to him. 

“i’m going to set your body on fire,” she told him, and he cringed, curling into himself. “i’m going to carve you into pieces.”

and he knew she was not lying because he could feel the fire on his arms, crawling up to his face, flames wrapping around him. he could see the ugly red and orange overlapping his skin. he was crying, begging, pleading as he felt his body boil and burn.

neil woke up in a cold sweat.

Keep reading

Yoosung meets a woman that has an uncanny resemblance to Rika at his college and becomes infatuated with her and begins neglecting MC

@rfascenariios hahahahaha, so I sometimes accidentally open blogs and then end up scrolling through and I found this, even though I have a mountain of other head canons to work on, but I just love this so much, so here you go.

  • It started with a picture that Yoosung posted on the messenger
  • “I found Rika! Or, at least a woman that looks just like her! She’s in one of my classes and her name is Yumi!”
  • He wasn’t wrong. She did look just like Rika.
  • Yoosung talks about her constantly, getting to know her at school
  • Now, he and MC have been dating for about a year and a half now, and she gets kind of worried about the fervor in which he is treating Yumi
  • Yoosung gets invited out to a mixer with his friends, so MC is invited along and Yumi is there
  • MC gets to talk to Yumi and she’s nice enough, but admits that she has her sights set on Yoosung
  • When MC tells Yumi that she and Yoosung are already dating, Yumi says, “Really? Because he treats me more like his girlfriend that he does you.”
  • After the mixer, MC asks Yoosung if he loves her, and he says yes, of course, but she’s still really nervous about the whole thing and not sure if she believes him
  • And his talk of Yumi continues to escalate, because she started asking questions about Rika and emulating her
  • Eventually, MC tries to express her hurt to Yoosung about the whole thing via messenger, but he doesn’t understand why she’s all bent out of shape
  • Zen and Seven get in on this as well, basically trying to explain what’s going on in MC’s head, but Yoosung refuses to listen
  • It’s not until Yoosung skips a date with MC to hang out with Yumi that things get ugly
  • She’s hurt, but she doesn’t let it affect her too much, hoping he still loves her
  • Zen even yells at Yoosung for doing that
  • The next day, MC shows up at his school to drop off his lunch, which she always brings for him on Tuesday’s, but Yumi sees her first, says that he’s busy studying and, without being a student, you can’t get into the library, so she’ll take the lunch to him
  • As soon as she has the lunch in her hands, she tells MC, “Yoosung and I went out on a date, by the way. You should probably stop bringing him food. He’s moved on.”
  • MC walks away in tears
  • She goes onto the messenger and says that she needs to break up with Yoosung, as much as it breaks her heart, because he doesn’t love her anymore
  • All he loves is a memory of Rika and the woman that looks just like her
  • He doesn’t see it until after his class with Yumi, and he ends up frozen for a few minutes just staring at the message… until Yumi reads it over his shoulder and offers her condolences
  • Yoosung, having been snapped out of it, says he needs to go find MC and talk to her, he doesn’t want to break up, he doesn’t understand why she would do this
  • However, she’s busy drinking with Zen and Jaehee, her phone is turned off, and Yoosung doesn’t know where she is
  • That night, MC stumbles back home, still super drunk, and realizes that she accidentally went to Yoosung’s apartment
  • Now MC is about to turn away when she checks the messenger and sees that he wants to talk about this, so she decides that now is as good as ever…
  • She gets her phone out to start recording because she knows she won’t remember in the morning
  • ….only to walk up the stairs to his apartment to find that Yoosung’s kissing Yumi
  • MC drops her purse out of shock, and when he hears the sound, he freaks, and tries to push Yumi away (what he was trying to do all along)
  • MC doesn’t hear him calling after her and just half stumbles, half runs away
  • She posts a picture on the messenger of Yoosung and Yumi kissing
  • “I thought he wanted to talk to convince me not to leave him. Guess I was wrong. I was wrong about everything.”
  • Zen tries to jump to his defense, saying that Yoosung looks uncomfortable, like he doesn’t want it, but MC just says, “I need to go drown my sorrows in ice cream and romance movies. I’ll check the messenger once a day from now on. Don’t worry about me.”
  • She does as promised, sits at home, crying, eating ice cream, and watching anything with a romance premise
  • Her coworkers worry about her when she’s at work because her eyes all puffy and red, but she just explains that she had a really bad break up
  • One coworker offers to beat him up for her once they hear the details, but she declines
  • She tries to get Jumin’s advice on killing her emotions so she can stop hurting
  • Yoosung finally manages to ambush her a few days after she saw him kissing Yumi at her apartment before she leaves to go to the grocery store
  • He explains that Yumi was there trying to help him (or so she claimed), then suddenly grabbed him and kissed him. She then tried to convince him that MC didn’t love him and only Yumi could
  • But Yoosung knows better, he feels like a jerk, and realizes that Yumi is nothing like the Rika he knew (which wasn’t necessarily the real Rika, but he doesn’t know that)
  • He begs MC to take him back
  • MC states that they’ll start with the dinner she’s about to make, and they can go from there
  • They go grocery shopping, then cook and eat together
  • He ends up kissing her goodbye at the end of the night
  • And twenty minutes after leaving, he comes back and, just-
  • This impulsive, loving yandere child just drops down on one knee with a ring in his hand
  • A few weeks later, Yumi has made no further progress with Yoosung and is getting frustrated, and when MC shows up on campus again to give Yoosung his lunch, Yumi goes to confront her…. then sees the ring on her finger
  • Before Yumi can approach to ask what’s going on, Yoosung is there, kissing MC, giddy as ever to see her
  • Yumi is forced to walk away and save herself the embarassment
simon imagine - always you

“After everything…I’d still choose you.”

The ceremony was beautiful. It was eccentric; bright and modern, everything you could expect from Josh and Freya. 

I didn’t get to congratulate the bride until the after party. She had seemed incredibly overwhelmed and busy, and I didn’t want to add to it. I wanted to keep my presence quiet. Once I’d spoke to her, I could go. 

When she saw me her jaw dropped. She engulfed me in a hug instantly, her eyes glossing over, tears threatening to ruin her expensive looking makeup.

“Y/n you came! I’m so glad you came!”

I reciprocated the hug. “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, Frey.”

When she eventually pulled away I held her at arms length, admiring her dress. It was a beautiful floor length ensemble, eggshell white and classy, accentuating her newfound curves perfectly. She’d gotten somewhat thicker in the years since I’d seen her. It suited her unbelievably; maybe that’s what being in love does to a person.

“Well I’m glad you came,” she spoke before I could compliment her, making me realise I’d previously been silent, and I couldn’t help but feel a little rude. “I have something to tell you.”

My heart rate sped a little as Josh joined her side. He pulled me in for a short but warming hug, one I got the feeling would be a lot longer if he hadn’t overheard Freya’s previous sentence. Knowing she was still talking he only mouthed a hello before snaking his arm protectively round her waist. Once again I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of the love in which they had both been blessed with. I really was a bitter soul.

“What is it?” I asked, mainly to silence my intrusive thoughts. The couple looked at each other.

“I’m pregnant!” 

This time it was my turn to well up, tears threatening to fall from my eyes as a range of emotions overwhelmed me. Mainly it was pride. Happiness, hopefulness. A little part of it was that stir of jealousy in the pit of my stomach. That’s what happens when you walk around with a broken heart - it poisons all your other organs too.

I pulled the couple in to hug them.

“Congratulations you guys. I love you both so much.” I gushed into both their ears, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “How far gone are you?”

“She’s only about three months,” Josh explained.

“You look good for it.”

“Doesn’t she just.”

The conversation seemed to die down quite quickly, and I was well aware that my time here was coming to an end. I contemplated leaving now. I’d said my congratulations; everything else was unnecessary. 

“Well, I should probably get going.” I began to excuse myself when Freya put a hand on my shoulder. She pleaded for me to wait, and so reluctantly, I did. Her eyes poured into mine.

“Have you seen him yet?”

It was as if the breath had been knocked out of my chest, and I tried to ignore Josh’s quiet scolding of Freya intended to be out of my earshot.

“You don’t have to talk about it, Y/n.” He attempted to reassure me, and I shook my head gratefully.

“No, it’s fine. I haven’t.”

I knew she meant Simon. I knew he would be here tonight - of course, he had more place here than I did. But I hoped I would be able to escape before there was any risk of bumping into him. I had no idea what I would say - or do - or if he’d be here alone. The thought of him with a date made my chest hurt, and I wanted nothing more than to leave.

“How long has it been?” Freya pressed further, her voice cautious. Next to her Josh looked incredibly uncomfortable. You and me both, I thought, feeling my throat start to tighten a little.

“It’s been five years.”

Both their eyes softened and I felt tears threaten my own once again. I looked to the floor. Five years sounded almost longer than it felt. It had been an incredibly lonely five years too. I lived on my own now, falling asleep each night next to nothing but silence. I was growing older - old enough to know my biological clock was running out, as my Mum put it. But I hadn’t even tried to get to know someone else. There was no point; if it wasn’t Simon, I didn’t want it. Not even so much because I missed him - although I did, painfully so - but just because I don’t have the strength to risk it again. It wasn’t that sad. I’d come to reason with the fact that I would never love again a long time ago.

“Are you going to talk to him?”

“Freya, I think we should sit down, the speech is about to start.” Josh suggested, trying to almost steer his pregnant wife away as he shot me sympathetic eyes. I gave him back a small smile.

“Wait, okay I’m sorry,” Freya blurted out and as she turned to me I found it increasingly hard to look her in the eye. “Please don’t run again Y/n.”

“Freya-”

“Please. Just please stay for the speeches.” Her cheeks reddened a little, her voice cracking against her will. “I’ve missed you a lot.”

I didn’t speak for fear of breaking apart in front of her, only nodding a small confirmation before someone came to take her away. I returned to my table as the sound of a glass being tapped sounded through the hall. 

The speeches were nice. They were somewhat repetitive - a little cliche, but nice nonetheless. Tobi’s had been my favourite so far, a confession of his own fondness towards the two, how he’d been rooting for the couple since before they were even rooting for themselves. Freya was positively glowing as several different people complimented and admired her. Eventually it looked as if it were all about to be over, and I silently counted my blessings as people began to talk amongst themselves. Perhaps if I excused myself subtly I could get out. I’d text Freya a goodbye, she’d forgive me. She’d understand why I’d run. It was all I knew how to do.

Just as I thought it was over, Josh stood. 

“Wait, sorry everyone, there’s one last speech. He’ll be here in a minute, please entertain yourselves or grab a free drink from the bar whilst you wait.”

I smiled at his professionalism even on his own wedding day. Josh never let the dad figure slip. I couldn’t get over the fact that he really would be a Dad now. I don’t know why I found it surprising - that’s what happy relationships progress too. Marriage and children and eternity. I guess a little part of me just felt jealous that neither of them would ever have to experience what it felt like to be alone.

“There he is!” A voice from the head table shouted, and everyone’s heads turned. There he was indeed.

Stood on the stage, his slender fingers wrapped around a microphone, his face supporting a large, awkward but sweet smile was Simon. I felt my heart fall from my chest. He had aged incredibly, his skin matured and clear, his hair an unnatural white that only he could pull off so well in a dark, classic suit. He looked taller, more muscular, more confident even. He looked more himself. I guess only one of us had healed after that winter night five years ago, and it hadn’t been me. I looked down at my ring finger. Sometimes it felt like the tanline was still there, a slightly paler band just above where my knuckle is, as if my entire hand is taunting me. Seeing Simon up on that stage felt somewhat like a mockery. We had come so close, and a tiny part of me couldn’t help but wish that it was me sitting where Freya was. I shook off this thought as Simon began to speak.

He introduced himself well, really presenting the skills that his job had taught him over the years, if that was indeed still his job. I couldn’t remember the last time I had opened up youtube, or any social media for the matter. Even this invitation had been something I’d received in the post. I’d really tried to remove myself entirely. To remove him. The room fell entirely silent as his real speech began, all the Simon-esque jokes and taunting over and done with.

“Look, in all realness,” he spoke in his deep and endearing voice, sending soundwaves right through my chest. “No one needs me to stand here and say the obvious. I don’t need to tell you how good you look together, or how incredible the ceremony was, because you know that already. Josh, you don’t need me to tell you how much you’re punching with Freya because, well, you must know it.”

The crowd laughed as Josh rolled his eyes, probably stopping himself from acting a little less professionally. Simon blew him a kiss before continuing.

“The only thing I wanna say is good luck. And I genuinely mean that.” Josh watched with genuine intrigue, however Freya’s eyes seemed to be elsewhere, as if she were searching through the crowd. “You two together have a love that is so comfortable and homely, whilst also being so firey and spontaneous, and it really does keep the world spinning. It’s the type of love a man only gets once in his lifetime.”

The crowd cooed slightly as Simon momentarily looked at the floor, and I wondered if they were as in love with him in this moment as I was. 

“A love where you’re so content and happy with eachother as you are really does only come around once, and you two have already got it and secured it. And I hope you secure it forever. Because God knows once you let go, it never comes back to you.”

He forced a smile. “Bitter sweet, as they call it.”

Freya was still searching with hunting eyes and I got the feeling I was the prey. As Simon raised his glass my vision blurred, and I knew I had to go. The guilt swept over me faster than my own feet off the ground but there was no way I could stay without choking up the only pieces of my heart I had left all over the maroon tablecloth.

I didn’t plan my exit route, only weaving my way through the tables somewhat frantically, trying to stick to the dark corners of the room. Once I found a back door I ran for it. It wasn’t practical. But I needed the time alone.

Once I was out of sight I pressed my back to the brickwall and let myself fall apart. The tears fell like cascades down my face, loud, messy sobs as I struggled to catch my breath. The knowledge that I would have to go back in in this state to be able to leave only made me cry harder as I questioned why I had even put myself through this mess in the first place. Maybe this is what I was destined for. A life of avoidance and hurt. Because it had been five years, and so far I had learned, the hurt never really seems to go away.

“Y/n?” 

It felt like my soul leaving my body once I heard him say my name. My eyes shot open, breathing speeding up once more as I realised he was close. Suddenly I heard him turn the corner. It was too late to run this time.

“Oh my God, Y/n.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping if I did so for long enough he would just disappear. He’d leave me behind again. But he didn’t. His tone was hard to read, and I could feel even without looking at him that he would be running his hands through his hair right now, jittering his legs out of nerves. He edged closer towards me and I screamed.

“Y/n, please. Please don’t push me away. I’m not here to hurt you.”

Oh but you do that without meaning to Simon, I thought, but I remained silent. There’s no way he couldn’t hurt me. His presence here was hurting me. His presence in my memory had been hurting me every day for the past five years. But nonetheless, I steadied my breathing, focusing on the pavement in front of me.

“It’s all in your breathing. Focus on that. Remember what your doctor used to say, the breathing exercises.” 

His voice was laced with concern, but was still quiet, as if he was afraid I would crack should he be too loud, like a glass window in a gospel choir. I only nodded. Soon enough my breathing slowed.

“Y/n please let me talk to you. Please don’t run away again.”

The words, although maybe not intended to be, came out as more of a question than a demand and I opened my eyes once again, allowing myself the small tester sight of him in my peripheral vision.

“Okay,” my broken voice sounded in a short whisper.

“I miss you, Y/n.”

“Don’t,” I warned, but he continued.

“No, listen to me Y/n, please. Please, for once, just let me in. Don’t leave me out in the dark again, I can’t take it.”

“So talk,” I almost urged, not wanting to hear him beg anymore, the guilt weighing me down until I was being curb stomped by my own conscience. 

“Maybe you should talk? It looks like you have some stuff on your mind. I get the feeling you don’t talk to anyone else so, maybe you should be the one talking.”

He sighed when I stayed quiet, but it wasn’t a sigh of defeat. I suddenly felt a warmth towards him for the way he didn’t lose hope in me. He saw my demons, looked them straight in the eye, but he didn’t run from them. I owed him that.

“There must be something, Y/n. Something you want to say, something you want to know. It’s been five years.”

It sounded even worse coming from his mouth. I still didn’t look at him, staring at my shoes.

“How many people have you been with since?” I whispered, afraid of the answer and unsure why I was even asking. He stepped a little closer, carefully.

“A big fat total of zero.”

The answer surprised me more than what I let on.

“I’m serious,” he confirmed. “There was a stage where Josh tried to set me up with people, taking me out on double dates with him and Freya, but it never went anywhere. Not even a kiss. The other guys always mock me for it.”

I felt him look down at his shoes. I resented Josh and Freya for trying, but I didn’t blame them. He deserved to be happy. Even if it wasn’t with me.

“You?” He asked hesitantly, and I almost laughed at the thought.

“None.”

“No one at all?” There was shock present in his voice. Did he really think I was capable of choosing anyone other than him? I shook my head to clarify.

“Y/n…Why?”

Finally I pluck up the courage to look at him. His aqua blue eyes poured into mine, melting me under their gaze and somehow I managed to voice what was on my mind.

“It’s only you, Simon.”

It almost looked as if the words knocked him, but he composed himself pretty fast. The way he watched me, it was as if he was afraid I’d disappear should he let me out of his eyesight for even a minute.

“Y/n why are we dragging this out? We belong together, you know it, I know it, everybody knows it. Why are we prolonging this pain?”

I shook my head, tears threatening to fall for what felt like the thousandth time tonight.

“We didn’t work before Simon, what makes you think we can now? I can’t go through that again.”

He edged closer again. “Because we know now what it’s like to be without eachother. Now that you’re here in front of me, I don’t ever want to let you go again. I’d never do anything to compromise us again, Y/n.”

“There are so many other people,” 

“And I choose you.” He cut me off with desperation. “Even after everything. I still choose you. No one else is even an option.”

Admittedly, I had given in. I was terrified. But I knew I didn’t want to be without him. Now that I’d learned what it was like to live with him, I didn’t want to learn to live without, because God knows after five years I still hadn’t accustomed to it. I knew it could be my biggest risk. But it could also be my only chance at healing.

“I choose you too,” I murmured. Simon moved closer once again, like he was unsure he had heard me right.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked cautiously. I nodded. Before I knew it, his hand was on the side of my face, holding me in place gently. His lips moved against mine so slowly and I drank in every second. This was what I had been waiting for. This was what I’d needed to fix me. 

“I love you, Y/n,” he spoke into the kiss, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. My hands moved through his hair.

“I love you. Always.” 

s u r  r e n d e r | jjk | 1

“If I could turn back the time and make things different from the way it is now, would you be still here with me? Would it change everything?”

✧pairing: fuckboy!jungkook x reader
✧genre: angst + touch of smut 
✧summary: the first time you had a conversation with jeon jungkook you were 15.  the first time you heard him calling you by your name you were 16.  the first time you realize you were in love with him you were 17. the first time you saw him crying you were 18 - because he wasn’t the golden boy, never been. indeed, he was in pain.
✧warnings: abusing relationship, alcohol, depression, violence, quick changes in behavior, cursing, blood, cheating, smoking, lots of angst (for the whole series) just dark themes
✧keep in mind: english is not my first language. I can, and I’ll make mistakes, but I’m trying my best! Feel free to correct me.
✧wordcount: 8.2k

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 -  Playlist:  highly recommended while reading.

I. The Analepsis;

You met Jeon Jungkook when you were 15.

He was the boy with the biggest amount of friends in high school. He was the boy who spent his entire lunch break on the basketball field. He was the boy who you would always glance at when he was near his locker, looking like an angel sent from above whilst doing nothing in particular. He was the boy that never went to detention because he was ‘the golden one’. He was the boy with a good voice, a boy that always sang to girls to get him out of trouble – sometimes even to teachers.

He was the boy with the loudest laugh, the prettiest one. He was the boy that made you silently laugh in your seat when he did something silly, forced you to laugh quietly because you never wanted him to see you like that.  He was the boy all of the girls wanted, though he ended up with no one other than his one night stands. He was the boy that never done relationships, and you always thought that that was because he thought nobody was good enough for him - but the worst part of it was that you thought that too.

But he was also the boy who you never saw him cry, until that night. The milestone of your life.

The first time you saw Jeon Jungkook cry, you were 18.

It made you realize that you never knew him in the first place. You had never imagined the brown haired boy crying like a five-year-old in your arms. Never in your life had you imagined that the boy with the deep brown eyes - the eyes you realized had to bear everything once you saw them before they burst into tears.

It happened the night high school ended.

You had to attend the ceremony, not that you wanted to, but your parents insisted. They said that it was too important for your future to miss and that if you didn’t attend you’d be sorry. Sorry by the time you grew up into that beautiful and strong woman with a stable job that missed her high school years. You laughed it off. The only thing you were going to miss about this filthy place was, sadly, him.

Him - of all the people.

Him - without him being aware of your feelings for all of these years.

Him - without you knowing the real Jeon Jungkook.

Keep reading

No Regrets

An Adrienette one-shot

“Girl, why are you in such a rush?” Alya asked, watching her best friend gather her things in a hurry.

“I forgot about something!” Marinette fretted, dropping her bag in the process. Which caused all the things she’d gathered to spill out.  “Shoot,” she muttered under her breath, “I’m such a klutz!”

“Whoa, girl, relax.  What could you have forgotten about that can cause this much panic?  I haven’t seen you this scatter-brained since high school!” Alya astonished, joining Marinette on the ground to help her clean up.

Marinette sighed, putting the final piece in her bag again and looked at Alya.  They were both knelt down on the floor and Marinette blew a piece of hair from her face.  “I—Well… I’m meeting Adrien.”

Alya gave her a deadpanned look.  “With whom you’re married to… what’s the big deal about meeting with your husband?” she asked.

“It’s not the meeting with him part, it’s just—ya know.  We’re looking for a house… and… I dunno,” Marinette dug through her bag for her keys, mumbling something about needing a brighter keychain.  

Alya looked at the table they had been sitting at to see her friend’s keys lying there.  She picked them up and jingled them in front of Marinette’s distracted face.  “Here,” she said, hearing Marinette utter out a “Thank you.”  Alya crossed her arms and stared curiously at her friend.  “What’s the big deal?  You’re looking for a house.  Something every married couple does… Haven’t you dreamed about this for like, your whole life, or something?” Alya asked.

Marinette shrugged and looked away from her friend, “Well, I mean, yeah.  But, like, it’s still a little soon, isn’t it?”

Alya furrowed her brows, “You’ve been married for 3 months.  So no, it’s not ‘too soon.’  Getting a house is good.  You’ve been crashing in his mouse-sized apartment, which, if I do recall, doesn’t allow for a roommate.”

Marinette bit her fingers, “Yeah, we’ve been ignoring the calls about that…”

“What’s the real issue here?” Alya asked, reaching out for Marinette’s shoulder, “Are you alright?”

Marinette slid from her grasp, looking worriedly at her phone.  “Y-you’re probably right!  I’m just crazy.  This is Adrien,” she said as she lifted her phone, “Gotta take it!”

Alya watched her friend go with a wild expression, “Oh…kay… see ya later, then?”

Marinette pushed the coffee shop door open with her shoulder, holding her phone in one hand and her drink in the other.  “Hey, hon,” she said, “Yeah, I’m on my way.  No, I didn’t forget, I’m just running a bit late.  Yeah, bad traffic.  Uh huh.  Okay.  Yup, see you in a few.  I love you too.  Bye.”  She hung up and stuffed her phone in her purse, grabbing her keys and hopping into her car.  

“Alya’s right,” she told herself, “This is good.”

-o-o-o-o-

“Okay, on to house number three!” Adrien said enthusiastically, buckling up his seat-belt.  “That last one was cool, though, huh?  What did you think, Mari?  You were pretty quiet in there…”  He looked over at his wife to see her staring numbly out the window.  “Marinette?”

She blinked and turned to him, looking dazed, “I’m sorry, I was zoned out.  What?” She asked.

Adrien frowned, “I asked if you were okay,” he said, reaching out to touch her forehead.  “Are you sick?  Do you have a fever?  Maybe we should go home…”

“Oh no, I’m not sick,” Marinette brushed him off.  “Tired is all.”

“You sure?” he asked.

“Positive,” she smiled at him.

“Alright.  So, what’d you think of the house?” he asked.

“It was okay,” she said.  “It’s expensive, though.”

Adrien shrugged, “Well, money’s not an issue, so don’t pay attention to the price tag, okay?  We’ll get whatever we need and whatever works.”

Marinette looked at her husband with a clumsy smile, “The money you got from your father is suppose to be for retirement, isn’t it?  That was your plan, right?”

Adrien looked at her with a gentle smile before looking back at the road, “Plans can change.”

Anxiety squeezed Marinette’s chest, “You should save it.”

“Mari, don’t worry.  Even if we went all in and bought the whole house now, I’d still have plenty left over.  Besides, I’m gonna put what we don’t spend in a retirement plan.”  He reached out to touch her knee gently, “Your worried, and it isn’t about the money…”

“I’m not worried, it’s just an expensive house—“

“Marinette, what’s wrong?” he came to a stop at a street light.  

“Nothing,” she said, crossing her arms stubbornly.

“Come on, Mari, what’s eating at you?” He pushed.

She nodded towards the windshield of the car, “The light’s green.”

He huffed, “I’m not going until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Adrien you can’t—there’s people behind us,” she turned around in her seat to see a frustrated wave from the car behind them followed by a honk.  “Adrien, seriously!  Go!”

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.  Normally I wouldn’t push because I don’t need to know sometimes, but this is clearly about us, and that I should know.  So what’s wrong?” He pushed the car into park to prove his point.

“Adrien, we don’t have time—“

“Are you having regrets?” he blurted out, his voice calm.  Marinette knew this voice, but she’d never personally experienced it.  It was his business voice.  The voice he used at professional parties, or conversations with co-workers.  It was his father’s voice.

“…Regrets?” She repeated numbly, looking him in the eye.  The angry honks and yells began to fade out.

He nodded, “Yeah, regrets.  About us,” his eyes and face stoic; he was like a wall.  But Marinette could see clearly behind it.  He was hurt.

“N-no!  No, of course not!  I could never regret this,” she gestured between them.  “It’s just…”

“What?”

“Will you?” she ask carefully.  Looking away from him.

“Will I what?” He asked, tilting his head.  His once calm voice became lathered in frustrated confusion.  A car swerved around them, giving them a pleasant curse and honk as he passed, followed by more cars.

“Will you regret this?” she asked.  He didn’t respond.  “Maybe not now, and maybe not next year or the year after that, but… maybe in ten years.  When I’m older, and less exciting.  Maybe you’ll look back at it all and realize that it was when you decided to marry me that things started to go wrong.  That, in ten years you’ll regret loving me and how you bought a fancy house and used up your money,” she hadn’t noticed until now, but she was crying.  She could tell because a tear had fallen onto her hand.  “After all, you said it yourself!  Plans change, and I don’t want you to regret this—“

She felt large hands envelop her own small ones.  She didn’t dare look up to see the man who was holding them though.  She couldn’t.  

“Hey,” he said gently, leaning over to kiss her wet cheek.  “I could never regret this,” he said, but she looked unconvinced, offering him a lazy shrug and a mumbled, “Maybe.”

“I love you,” he said, baffled.  She didn’t move.  He huffed, thinking of what to say.  “Now, if I remember correctly,” he began, “I had a crush on you first,” he said.

“You had a crush on Ladybug, not Marinette,” she pointed out.

“And you had a crush on a model, not Chat Noir,” he countered.  “I agree, things can change.  We changed, but it was for the better, right?”  

“But—“

“For better or worse,” he repeated their wedding vows.  “Now, I take that seriously.  Even if there comes a ‘worse,’ I’ll never regret it.  Because I love you.  We chose each other.”  He gently pulled her chin to look her in the eyes.  “The only thing I could ever regret would be not marrying you.  To not share a life with you.  To have kids and grow old with you.”

She blinked and smiled at him, “Kids?” she asked.

“Kids,” he nodded, glad she was smiling.  “I’m serious, Mari.  About you.  About this.”

She leaned in to kiss him.  Soft and sweet, short and simple.  “Thank you,” she mumbled.  

He kissed her nose and leaned back.  “But,” he said, putting their car back in drive and looking to see the light had turned red again.  “If Nino confesses his love to me, I may just run into the sunset with him,” he said, acting serious.

“Oh my gosh,” Marinette shoved him with a laugh, “You’re a dork.”

“But you love me,” he winked at her.

“Maybe…” she rolled her eyes playfully.

“And I love you.”

“Yeah,” she smiled.


Read the rest of my one shots here!

dating hoseok [realistically]

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

important disclaimer: this part of the dating series is just like the others, based on my opinion and my imagination of “realistic” only. I don’t know jung hoseok personally, so you’ll maybe see points written that you don’t agree with. If you’re not open to stuff like this, I would recommend you to not even start reading.

note: hoseok is literally everything I want in my life, so expect this to be shitty long with a lot of emotions put in.

jungkook | taehyung | yoongi | jimin


Keep reading

NIGHT SKY WITH EXIT WOUNDS SENTENCE STARTERS.

all text taken from the poetry book night sky with exit wounds by ocean vuong.

  • ‘  in the body, where everything has a price, i was a beggar.  ‘
  • ‘  he was singing, which is why i remember it. his voice — it filled me to the core like a skeleton.  ‘
  • ‘  even my name knelt down inside me, asking to be spared.  ‘
  • ‘  it is all i remember.  ‘
  • ‘  i was alive. i didn’t know there was a better reason.  ‘
  • ‘  i lost it all with my eyes wide open.  ‘
  • ‘  do you know who i am?  ‘
  • ‘  how easily a boy in a dress the red of shut eyes vanishes beneath the sound of his own galloping.  ‘
  • ‘  i’m dreaming of a curtain of snow falling from her shoulders.  ‘
  • ‘  snow scraping against the window. snow shredded with gunfire. red sky.  ‘
  • ‘  show me how ruin makes a home out of hip bones.  ‘
  • ‘  let every river envy our mouths. let every kiss hit the body like a season.  ‘
  • ‘  if you must know anything, know that the hardest task is to live only once.  ‘
  • ‘  if we make it to shore, i will name our son after this water. i will learn to love a monster.  ‘
  • ‘  he laughs despite knowing he has ruined every beautiful thing just to prove beauty cannot change him.  ‘
  • ‘  hey! you didn’t have to go this far. why did you go so far?  ‘
  • ‘  sometimes i feel like an ampersand.  ‘
  • ‘  everyone can forget us — as long as you remember.  ‘
  • ‘  i hold the gun & wonder if an entry wound in the night would make a hole as wide as morning.  ‘
  • ‘  there’s a lighthouse. some nights you are the lighthouse, some nights the sea.  ‘
  • ‘  what this means is that i don’t know desire other than the need to be shattered & rebuilt.  ‘
  • ‘  even tomorrow you will have today.  ‘
  • ‘  you’ll never forget yourself the way god forgets his hands.  ‘
  • ‘  the body is a blade that sharpens by cutting.  ‘
  • ‘  my mother said i could be anything i wanted — but i chose to live.  ‘
  • ‘  i am ready to be every animal you leave behind.  ‘
  • ‘  and this is how we loved: a fifth of vodka and an afternoon in the attic, your fingers though my hair — my hair a wildfire.  ‘
  • ‘  when our lips touched the day closed into a coffin.  ‘
  • ‘  the year is a distance we’ve traveled in circles.  ‘
  • ‘  we made it, baby. we’re riding in the back of the black limousine.  ‘
  • ‘  i love my country. i pretend nothing is wrong.  ‘
  • ‘  i’m holding your still-hot thoughts in, darling, my sweet, sweet ___.  ‘
  • ‘  you want to tell him it’s okay that the night is also a grave we climb out of.  ‘
  • ‘  you say thank you thank you thank you because you haven’t learned the purpose of forgive me.  ‘
  • ‘  you’re so quiet you’re almost tomorrow.  ‘
  • ‘  to love another man — is to leave no one behind to forgive me. i want to leave no one behind.  ‘
  • ‘  even though he’s gone, i still want to be clean.  ‘
  • ‘  if only the rain were gasoline, your tongue a lit match, & you can change without disappearing.  ‘
  • ‘  he dies each night you close your eyes & hear his slow exhale.  ‘
  • ‘  wait, i have something to say.  ‘
  • ‘  as if my finger, tracing your collarbone behind closed doors, was enough to erase myself.  ‘
  • ‘  to forget we built this house knowing it won’t last.  ‘
  • ‘  it’s funny. i always knew i’d be warmest beside by man.  ‘
  • ‘  don’t laugh. just tell me the story again.  ‘
  • ‘  speak — until your voice is nothing but the crackle of charred bones.  ‘
  • ‘  look how happy we are to be no one & still american.  ‘
  • ‘  i’ll tell you how we’re wrong enough to be forgiven/  ‘
  • ‘  say you’d kill for it.  ‘
  • ‘  don’t we touch each other just to prove we are still here?  ‘
  • ‘  silly me. i thought love was real and the body imaginary.  ‘
  • ‘  i said yes because you asked me to stay.  ‘
  • ‘  there is so much i want to tell you. how my greatest accolade was to walk across the brooklyn bridge & not think of flight.  ‘
  • ‘  you will always remember what you were doing when it hurts the most.  ‘
  • ‘  dearest father, forgive me for i have seen.  ‘
  • ‘  once, i fell in love during a slow-motion car crash.  ‘
  • ‘  i wrote a better hour onto the page & watched the fire take it back.  ‘
  • ‘  this means you are not alone.  ‘
  • ‘  don’t stay here. don’t cry anymore.  ‘
  • ‘  i promise to stop soon.  ‘
  • ‘  how come depression makes me feel more alive?  ‘
  • ‘  i shouldn’t have, but he had the hands of someone i used to know. someone i was used to.  ‘
  • ‘  i dreamed i walked barefoot all the way to your house in the snow. everything was the blue of smudged ink and you were still alive.  ‘
  • ‘  here. that’s all i wanted to be.  ‘
  • ‘  don’t worry. your father is only your father until one of you forgets.  ‘
  • ‘  the end of the road is so far ahead it is already behind us.  ‘
  • ‘  don’t be afraid, the gunfire is only the sound of people trying to live a little longer & failing.  ‘
  • ‘  remember, loneliness is still time spent with the world.  ‘
  • ‘  the difference between prayer & mercy is how you move the tongue.  ‘
  • ‘  so what if my feathers are burning. i never asked for flight.  ‘
Shaky steps and bad teaching - Bruce Wayne x Reader

8. “Come over here— oh crap no don’t fall— why does this always happen ?”

OH MY GOD YES THIS IS TOO CUTE !! , I really hope you’ll like it, (and for once, I’m not going to say it’s “meh”, even though I think it’s VERY “MEH”…Wait…oh damn…Ok, once again, I feel like I didn’t do justice to this awesome prompt…I’m sorry if you’re disappointed, really :/, I shouldn’t write when tired lalalalalala and I’m also sorry for being sorry and always so weirdly insecure, dudes, I have problems haha) oh, and my writing adore you :

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

_______________________________________________________________________

Sometimes, Bruce had to pinch himself to make sure everything was real. To make sure he wasn’t just having a really good dream.

He never thought, with the life he decided to lead, he would have all of this. After his parents’ death, it never even crossed his mind that he could be that happy ever again, that he could have a family again. And yet…

Yet you entered his life. Right at the moment Dick did too. At the right time in his life, when he was in the deepest darkest pit he ever been in…You got him out of it, with your smiles and your “I’m not taking any of your shit, stop complaining and be strong dude” persona…and you made him realized that all he was craving for was love, and a family. He begun to hope for a better future when you came in, when Dick became his son, and when he understood how much Alfred meant to him, when he finally saw him for what he really was : his second father.

Jason quickly followed your arrival, and he called him “son” too, naturally.

Tim joined you all a bit later, his favorite little nerd. Three children. He couldn’t believe it.

Then Damian, even if at the beginning it was difficult, the boy came around, and thanks to you changed drastically, making the same realization his father had years earlier : all he wanted was a family, and to be loved.

And finally, a little bit less than a year ago…Thomas was born. It was your idea to name him after Bruce’s father, and he almost cried when you suggested it to him…That kid was the one he least expected to be part of his life. Passed forty years old now, he just never imagined it could happen, and he kinda gave up a long time ago the idea of raising a child from birth. He never felt the need to either, he already had his boys, they were definitely sufficient. He loved them…Besides, you tried to have a child together, but you never got pregnant. “Sterile”, that’s what the doctors called you. And it was ok, you already had four wonderful boys…Until one day, a miracle happened. Thomas. A child that shouldn’t be born, and yet here he was in his arms right now.

Keep reading

Pack Mother - Derek Hale - Part 2

Characters: Jackson Whittemore, Isaac Lahey, Liam Dunbar, Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin, PackMom!Reader.

Part 1

Everyone had arrived but Derek, at this point you’d assumed he just wasn’t coming but you pushed that thought to the back of your head. You had the pack to think of.

“It’s not fair, you’re taking care of him 24/7!” Jackson whined at you.

You sit the knife on the cutting board and cross your arms. “Oh yeah? Tell that to the gunshot victim lying on my couch. He needs constant care, Jackson.” You lower your voice and walk towards him. “He’s not the same as us, kiddo. You need to remember that.” Jackson was complaining about Stiles getting all of your attention and it had struck a nerve. “If you want attention, do something nice. I don’t give you attention because you’re so hostile to everyone. You can’t just be nice to me and think that it’s okay.” You smile as you place a hand on his shoulder. “Try being nice, Jackson..okay?”

Jackson lets out a deep breath. “Yeah, okay.”

He leaves the room and you go back to cooking when you noticed Derek. “Hey.” He smiles.

“Hey, when did you get here?” You smile back.

“Long enough to hear you talking to Jackson. You’re great at this, by the way.”

You shrug, “It’s natural, I guess.”

“Can I talk to you about something?” He walks toward you.

“Yeah, should we go upstairs?” You look up at him. He nods and you lead him upstairs to your bedroom.

“So..Liam imprinted on me this morning. Normally, I would’ve been ecstatic that I’m on my way to becoming a pack father..but I know you’ve already filled the parental spot.”

“That’s impossible.” You cross your arms. “He came over before everyone else and we had a talk. I felt the connection from his imprint on me.”

“You don’t think…?” Derek starts.

“I’ve only heard of it happening once or twice.” You look up at him.

“It’s possible. I’m almost certain Isaac has imprinted too.” Derek watches you carefully.

It’s incredibly rare but sometimes members of the pack can imprint on two people. It usually happens with a husband and wife and not two people who just met, but it happens. When members imprint on two people, the people are drawn towards each other, it’s almost like raising kids together.

“Should we go get Liam and Isaac?” He asks. You nod before sticking your head out the door, you call for them and you hear them bounding up the stairs.

“What’s up?” Isaac asks as he walks in and sits on your bed.

“Did you imprint on Derek?” You ask bluntly.

The both of them look at each other. “It’s not on purpose.” Liam says quietly. He looks sad, like he’s hurt your feelings.

“Hey.” You walk over to him and he looks up at you. “It’s okay. We still have our connection. My feelings aren’t hurt, it’s fine.” You nod reassuringly. Liam wraps his arms around you tightly and you smile. You ruffle his hair and hug him back. “You’re my pup, Dunbar.”

He laughs. “It’s not weird though, right? I mean, I didn’t imprint on you with any intentions.” He says to Derek.

Derek shakes his head and comes to your side. “I get it.” He smiles. Liam exits the room and you can feel his happiness radiating.

“If I’m being honest here, you guys are a hot couple. I mean, we just helped you out.” Isaac smirks, his head propped up on your pillows.

“Isaac up. Now. Don’t act smug about it because you’re embarrassed that you had a connection with a guy.” You walk over and pull him up by his ear.

“Ow ow ow..okay.” He pulls away and rubs his ear. “Sorry. I’m not embarrassed I just don’t want Derek to feel weird about it. You know…because I’m a dude.”

“Oh come on, Isaac. Don’t play the no homo card. That’ll get you kicked out real quickly.” You warn.

“I don’t think it’s weird.” Derek approaches him. “I appreciate that you felt you could come to me. You know I’m always here.” He pats Isaac’s shoulder. You saw how he talked to Isaac and you felt bad. They should’ve imprinted on him in the first place, not you. He’s an amazing father figure.

“Thanks. It’s just nice to have someone to talk to.”

“Isaac are you still staying with Scott?” You look up at the tall boy.

“Yeah, why?” He looks at you.

“Move in with me. I know the whole parent thing is touchy, so just let me handle it okay? You’ll have someone for parent teacher conferences, to sign permission slips…we’ll work something out, yeah?” You smile and take his hand. He looks like he might cry.

“Y/N, I’d love that. You’re a better mother to me than my biological mom.” You hug tightly.

“If it’s not too forward…I could help take care of him.” Derek looks at you. “I could move in, we could get legal custody…” You and Isaac pull away.

“A two-for-one deal?”

You laugh. “Yeah, Isaac. A two-for-one deal. It looks like you just got a new set of parents.”

“I’m going to go talk to Scott.” He smiles and leaves the room.

“I hope you don’t think that was inappropriate…me offering myself up to live with you.” Derek says.

“No, I mean..if we’re going to be pack parents it’s probably better that we are together anyway..” You smile. “Legally adopting Isaac too? That would be amazing.”

“Hey, sorry to change the topic..but I didn’t kiss you last night and I was just really caught up in you..and I hope you didn’t think that was weird because I did want to kiss you.” Derek rambles.

From what Scott has said about him you always thought he’d be kind of grumpy, not insanely adorable and soft. “No, it’s fine.” You smile.

“So, it would be okay if I did this?” He presses his lips to yours, pulling you close to him.

You kiss him back, mumbling against him, “More than okay.”

You kiss gently, nothing was escalating quickly. You hear footsteps and you pull away from him, smiling when you see Lydia enter the room.

“Stiles is being aggressive.” She pouts.

“What else is new?” Derek mutters.

“No, like he said he just wants you. He’s not letting anyone else get near him.”

You glance over your shoulder at Derek before going downstairs to Stiles. “Everybody out. Go out back or upstairs, I don’t care just out of this room.” You watch as everyone scatters. You squat in front of Stiles. “What’s going on?” You press a hand to his forehead, he still has a fever.

“I don’t know..” His voice sounds raspy. “I feel weird. I’m hot and extremely angry.”

You smile, Derek coming into the room with water. He hands it to Stiles. The younger boy sits up, drinking the whole bottle in no time.

You and Derek exchange glances. “Stiles lay back down.” He does as you say and you lift his shirt up where the bullet hole was, only to your surprise, it was gone. No hole, just the thread you’d used to sew stitches.

“Derek can you grab me the scissors?” You ask and he nods, going to retrieve them.

“Stiles, have you been feeling better?” You watch him closely as he nods. Derek returns with the scissors and you cut the stitches out and examine the area. Absolutely no sign of a gunshot wound.

“Is it possible you got bit?” You ask him quietly.

“I mean..I guess it’s always possible. Look who I surround myself with.” He responds.

“The bullet could’ve been laced in something.” Derek pipes up.

“That’s true. You were shot by another pack…”

“Wait, does that mean I’m a werewolf?” Stiles sits up immediately.

“It could..” Derek says and you stand up, sighing as you run a hand through your hair.

“Scott!” You yell, knowing that wherever he’s gone he can still here you. He runs into the house quickly. “What’s up?”

“I think Stiles is turning.” You turn and look at him, sensing Stiles’ panic.

twenty three

Originally posted by 4cyphers

pairing: taehyung x reader

word count: 8k

genre: smut, angst, fluff(ish)

description: you were simply a distraction while he waited for the one he wanted


“A picture perfect smile, look like you see no-one but me.”

Keep reading

✰ * º ❛   friends sentence starters   ❜

‘  *reading obituaries* suddenly i wish i was reading my own name.  ’
‘  you don’t even have oven mitts on!  ’
‘  wow. i could so easily freak out right now.  ’
‘  do you think it’s easy for me to see you with somebody else?  ’
‘  hey, you remembered to put clothes on this morning.  ’
‘  no more falafel for you!  ’
‘  we were on a break!!  ’
‘  you’re such a tattletale.  ’
‘  i love you goddesses!  ’
‘  everyone i know is either getting married or getting pregnant or getting promoted and I’m getting coffee. And it’s not even for me!  ’
‘  it’s   ’
‘  this is all a moo point. yeah, it’s like a cow’s opinion, it doesn’t matter. it’s moo.  ’
‘  so, the ebola virus. that’s gotta suck, huh?  ’
‘  my gynecologist tried to kill me.  ’
‘  you can’t tell, but i’m trying to break the tension by mooning you guys.  ’
‘  boy, you are not a morning person.  ’
‘  yeah, well, i’m a slut.  ’
‘  how you doin’?  ’
‘  i am warm… for your form.  ’
‘  i’m really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.  ’
‘  are you saying that you don’t wanna get with this?  ’
‘  hey, you’re a pathetic loser, right?  ’
‘  sometimes i wish i was a lesbian… did i say that out loud?  ’
‘  if i were a guy and… did i just say, ‘if i were a guy’?  ’
‘  i guess things were just going to well for me!  ’
‘  i don’t have a plan. i don’t even have a ‘pla.’  ’
‘  he’s so pretty i want to cry!  ’
‘  prepare to feel very bad about yourself.  ’
‘  i’m sorry that’s who i am. i’m a positive person.  ’
‘  no, i’m a positive person. you are like santa clause on prozac at disneyland, getting laid.  ’
‘  i’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!  ’
‘  she was nice. i mean, she’s a little slutty, but who isn’t?  ’
‘  honey, this is not your fault. just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify them sleeping with someone else.  ’
‘  from now on, i am not getting out of this chair, ever. okay? from now on, this chair is the one.  ’
‘  i wish i could, but i don’t want to.  ’
‘  alright, i took the quiz and, it turns out, i do put career before men.  ’
‘  look at him, he’s so cute. i just wanna go over there, grab him, and kiss him!  ’
‘  i think, if it was a little colder in there, i could see your nipples through that sweater.  ’
‘  what’s wrong with me… oh, don’t open that door.  ’
‘  let me think, let me think… oh, i don’t care!  ’
‘  i have no idea what’s going on, but i’m excited!  ’
‘  i tend to keep talking until somebody stops me.  ’
‘  when i first meet somebody, it’s usually panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.  ’
‘  are we greeting each other this way now? because i like it.  ’
‘  it looks like you fell asleep with a hanger in your mouth.  ’
‘  you wanna play twister?  ’
‘  once, i got dumped during sex.  ’
‘  here we are, with our future before us, and i only want to spend it with you.  ’
‘  welcome to the real world. it sucks. you’re gonna love it!  ’
‘  hey, you cry every time somebody talks about the titanic.  ’
‘  if worst comes to worst, i’ll be your boyfriend.  ’
‘  who loses 57 coin tosses in a row? you know? heads, she wins. tails, i lose.  ’
‘  shut up! shut up! SHUT UP!  ’
‘  i’m so glad we’re having this rehearsal dinner, you know? it’s so rare that i get to practice my meals before eating them.  ’
‘  you always believed in me, even when i didn’t believe in myself.  ’
‘  you’re fake laughing too, right?  ’
‘  it’s sunday morning, i am not running on a sunday.  ’
‘  ugh, dammit. why did i open my mouth?  ’
‘  wow, we really are bitches.  ’
‘  so why don’t you be a grown up and come and watch some tv in the fort!  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m gonna do with my life.  ’
‘  i’m full, and yet i know if i stop eating this, i’ll regret it.  ’
‘  kill me. kill me now.  ’
‘  i want to sit in a comfortable chair, watch television, and go to sleep at a reasonable hour!  ’
‘  what must it be like to not be crippled by fear and self-loathing?  ’
‘  a stripper at a bachelor party, that is so cliché. why don’t you guys get a magician?!  ’
‘  i’m curvy and i like it!  ’
‘  i don’t share food!  ’
‘  if i have to, i’d pee on any one of you.  ’
‘  the fridge broke so i had to eat everything.  ’
‘  you can’t have s-e-x when you’re taking care of the b-a-b-i-e!  ’
‘  you’re over me? when were you… under me?  ’
‘  these are just feelings. they’ll go away.  ’
‘  i used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me.  ’
‘  i mean, sure, i have my bad days, but then i remember what a cute smile i have.  ’
‘  offering people gum is not cooking.  ’
‘  i bought him a $500 watch and he wrote me a rap song.  ’
‘  you know you should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people.   ’
‘  no, inside good. outside baaaaad.  ’
‘  they’re always saying ‘let’s go here, let’s go there.’ like we can afford to go here and there.  ’
‘  i hate my job. i hate it. oh, i want to quit, but then i think i should stick it out.  ’
‘  you think i have $1200? i’m home in the middle of the day and i got patio furniture in my living room.  ’
‘  neat! i’m gonna die alone!  ’
‘  okay, could you just stop talking for a second?  ’
‘  i’ve sort of had feelings for you.  ’
‘  today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, fifty feet of crap, then me.  ’
‘  why am i friends with these people?  ’
‘  i eat by myself in the alley because everyone hates me.  ’
‘  i’m a lone wolf. a loner. alone. all alone. forever.  ’
‘  my life is an embarrassment! i should just go live under somebody’s stairs.  ’
‘  if i died, the only way people would know that i was here would be the ass print on this chair!  ’
‘  i always thought if you and i got married, that would be the one that stuck.  ’
‘  hi, i make jokes when i’m uncomfortable.  ’
‘  i am not ‘blah’, i am a hoot!  ’
‘  i just realized i can sleep with my eyes open.  ’
‘  up until i was 25, i thought that the only response to ‘i love you’ was ‘oh, crap!’  ’
‘  if the homo sapiens, were in fact ‘homo’ sapiens, is that why they’re extinct?  ’
‘  do you think i need a new walk?  ’
‘  you don’t own a tv? what’s all your furniture pointed at?  ’
‘  just think of it like this: the third day. monday, one day. tuesday, two day. wednesday… when? huh? what day? thursday! the third day!  ’
‘  eye-contact? i hope you were using protection!  ’
‘  you were right, and from now on, yo make all my decisions for me.  ’
‘  you said your boss wants to buy your baby?  ’
‘  why god, why?!! we had a deal!! let the others grow old! not me!!  ’
‘  last night i was finishing off a pizza and she said, ‘a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!’ i don’t need that kind of talk in my house!  ’
‘  you’re druuuuunk. mom and dad are gonna be maaaad! …maybe i’m a little drunk.  ’
‘  let her know i like her? are you insane?  ’
‘  what’s it gonna take for you to forgive me?  ’
‘  isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?  ’
‘  you’re crying over a doritos commercial.  ’
‘  that fake british woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance.  ’
‘  i think it’d be better for my ego if we didn’t stand right next to each other.  ’
‘  seriously… good luck on marrying me.  ’
‘  there is no ‘us’, okay?  ’
‘  i fell for you and i get clobbered. you then fall for me and i again, somehow, get clobbered.  ’
‘  it’s just not worth it.  ’
‘  we are never gonna happen, okay? accept that.  ’
‘  you know what? you’re the one who ended it.  ’
‘  i ended it because i was mad at you. not because i stopped loving you.  ’
‘  imagine the worst things you think about yourself. now, how would you feel if the one person you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.  ’
‘  you were worth the wait.  ’
‘  that’s our baby.  ’
‘  you deserve to be with someone who appreciates and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing and adorable and sexy you are.  ’

Mission Bad Boy - 6

Plot: What if you could win 100,000 Won by giving someone a makeover? But here’s the catch – you have 6 months to turn a nerdy, anti-social male into the school’s biggest heartthrob.

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Angst, Highschool au!

Notes: Answers are given here. Read at your own risk. Shout at me after u done reading. 4.5k Words

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Originally posted by rappornster

You didn’t know what you were more afraid of – that people would be watching Namjoon get beat up, or that he would be laying on the ground with injuries apparent on his face. You didn’t need him to be getting hurt, especially because of people like Jongin and Sehun – at least, you assumed it was them. Jongin fell victim to a threat by none other than your friend. You weren’t even aware that he was capable of something like that.

“Are you for fucking real?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

can you do a fic or imagine where josh is late to someone's funeral (like a family member or something) and realizes he wants to bring flowers so on his way he steals some from the readers garden!!! fluff if you can :) love you tay xoxo

JOSH DUN IMAGINE

Warnings: death mention, poor sappy sad josh. 

Note: I’m so sorry that I take so long to update and write. I’ve been in a bad place lately, but I’m trying to pull out of it. You guys are the best, thanks for sticking with me through all this stuff and being so supportive!! honestly idek what this is, I wrote this half asleep all while eating an unhealthy amount of pasta, so please excuse the inevitable typos that you will find. But anyway here’s a kinda sad, kinda fluffy mess of a fic. 

Josh is late. In every sense of the word, he is so late. He’s even still in his work uniform, grey polo shirt scratching uncomfortably under his rain jacket. His hands are freezing and he doesn’t even have any flowers. Ashley is going to be so mad.

He’s power walking, well aware he probably looks like a mom tracking down six kids in a crowded mall (thinking of that makes his heart clench in his chest). There’s one more street to walk down–he refuses to drive there, it makes it feel too real. He stuffs shaking hands in his pockets and turns the corner.

Josh doesn’t have flowers. He’s visiting for the first time since it happened, he’s late, and he doesn’t have flowers.

He’s a block away when he sees them, the roses growing almost chaotically over a small light pink fence. He stops and looks down at them, then around. No one’s watching, so he crouches and picks a decent handful, murmuring a few sorries as the stems snap. He notes the house number and reminds himself to write a thank you note before standing up and continuing on his way.

Everyone’s already there when Josh arrives, eyes watery from the wind. Ashley gives him a look that would’ve been terrifying if not for the red around her eyes, and Josh mouths his apology while passing out hugs.

With a deep breath he crouches and places the six roses at the base of the polished stone. “Hi, mum.” Josh whispers, pressing a kiss into his hand and then to her name. “Sorry I’m late.”

I miss you. I stole these flowers for you, the old lady they belong to probably noticed already. My boss gave me a few extra sick days because she knows. I’m tired of everyone knowing. I love you.

It happens seven times in the course of two months, and Josh really doesn’t mean to make it a habit, but he can never seem to remember the flowers until he’s well on his way, and there are so many of them in the garden that he hardly feels bad. He never got around to writing the note.

He’s sitting in front of the grave with a bunch of daisies. “The girls miss you.” Josh says quietly, arranging the flowers nicely along the stone. The white is almost too bright to look at. “We all miss you, mum.” He whispers, feeling a tear run down his cheek. “Today at work a girl brought in her therapy dog. She was behind the counter with me and her dog—I can’t remember it’s name, but it spent the whole time licking my shoe. Reckon he knows, too? Anyway, it was nice. Maybe I should get a dog.”

Josh never means to cry but he always ends up doing it. It takes about twenty minutes for him to be able to breathe again, then he says goodbye and walks the three blocks to his car.

He usually visits once a week, sometimes one of his sisters comes with him. If it’s Abigail, they go get ice cream after. If it’s Ashley, which it usually is, they get coffee and don’t talk about it.

It’s running on month six when Josh sees her. He’s holding a beautiful bunch of chrysanthemums by his side, when he notices that there’s someone in the window holding the curtain aside. They make eye contact, and Josh feels very guilty. She doesn’t look angry, although there’s a noticeable furrow between her eyebrows. She’s wearing a cotton bathrobe and holding a mug of coffee. Josh could use some coffee.

He doesn’t know what to do, so he just smiles and holds up the flowers. Then turns on his heels and walks as quickly as he can.

“It’s not an old lady, mum, it’s a girl. She saw me today, caught me red handed.” Josh mumbles, laughing a bit to himself as he clears away some old flowers and places the new ones. “She didn’t do anything though, so I think I’m okay.” His voice cracks as he says it, and then, as usual, starts crying.

It takes two more times for the rightful owner of the flowers to confront Josh about his thievery.

Josh’s on his knees, picking some cute purple flowers when he hears her voice.

“Um, hello?” Josh nearly jumps out of his skin.

“Oh shit.” Josh says, looking up and feeling his heart sink. “Right. I’m sorry I just–your flowers are very nice.”

She smiles and crosses her hands over her chest. “Thank you.”

Josh’s still kneeling, hands shaking where they’re holding stems. She has long, dark hair and a sort of crooked smile on her face. Neither of them are saying anything. She’s wearing an old shirt with a hole near the hem. Josh’s hands are sweating.

“You know, if you’re going to steal my flowers to take to your girl, I think I’m going to have to come with you to make sure she’s beautiful enough to warrant theft.” She says, oddly calm and good natured.

Josh doesn’t know what to say. He just nods, trying to ease the panic rising in his chest.

“Add a few roses.” She orders, and Josh nods, picking a few and standing up, finally. “I’m Y/N, by the way.“ She says, extending a hand.

Josh smiles and shakes it. “Josh.” She smiles at him one more time and then they start to walk.

She pesters him with questions about his imaginary girlfriend, and Josh tries to answer them in the vaguest way possible, all the while trying to figure out how the hell he’s going to explain this when they get to the cemetery.

“Did she like the daisies you picked last time? I always thought those were more of a flower you give your mum, but I guess they’re nice.” she babbles, and Josh almost chokes.

“Yeah, um. Yeah.” he says, his heart racing in his chest. The small side entrance is only a few meters away, and she still has no idea. Josh doesn’t say anything as he walks through the gate, holding it open for her, who immediately stops talking as well.

The silence feels like a heavy blanket, and she just follows Josh as he makes the walk now committed to memory. Josh almost forgets she’s there, dropping to the probably permanently grass stained knees of his jeans and managing a smile. “Hi mum.” He places the flowers around the base of the stone, like he always does. Josh jolts when he feels a hand on his thigh, near his knee. He follows the arm up and meets her green eyes. Josh hadn’t noticed her kneel, too.

“Josh…” she whispers, obviously surprised. Josh doesn’t blame her.

“Don’t.” he says quietly, sniffling and looking away from him. “I brought someone with me. She’s the one I’ve been stealing all the flowers from.” Josh says, smiling a bit and he hears Y/N mumble a soft hello. “She hasn’t called the cops on me yet, which I guess is good.”

He takes a shaky breath before getting choked up. He puts his face in his hands and this was always just a part of his agenda, but the arm around his shoulders is new.

She starts talking.

“The first time I was sitting in my kitchen and I was like oh god do not pick the hibiscuses, they’ve got bees. But he didn’t, he chose some tulips instead.“ she laughs a little, and Josh almost starts crying again. “Between us, I hope he never stops.” she whispers, and Josh knows he wasn’t meant to hear it. There’s a lot he wasn’t meant to do.

Josh sniffles loudly and sits up to wipe his eyes. Her arm is still around his shoulders. “I’m sorry.” he says out of habit, as he’s been doing every time anyone’s seen him cry since October. She just shakes her head and uses a thumb to wipe a stray tear.

“Don’t apologize.” She says, and puts her hand back on her own lap. Josh wants to tell her to put it back. “I’ll um, give you some privacy.” She says, standing up and brushing her jeans off. “And, Josh, you’re welcome to my flowers anytime.” She says, giving him a bright smile before walking away.

Josh doesn’t watch her walk away. He turns back to the gravestone and sighs. “She’s kinda nice isn’t she mum?”

Josh can almost hear his mum yelling at him. Don’t be stupid, dear, go after her.

He kisses his hand and presses it agains the warming stone. “I love you.” He gets up, not bothering to dust off his knees and all but sprints back out to the sidewalk. Josh jogs down the road and turns the corner, smiling when he sees her walking peacefully down the street.

“Hey!” Josh yells, picking up to a run. She turns, and stops walking, looking surprised that Josh is running after her.  

“Let me, um, buy you lunch.” he says breathlessly.  “Figure I owe you one, since I’ve been stealing your flowers for months.“

She smiles and nods.  “Yeah, I guess that’a fair payback.”

They talk as they walk to her pick of café, and Josh feels lighter than he has in months.

They walk back to Y/N’s, and she makes Josh promise to close his eyes as she grabs the spare key. It’s painfully adorable.

“Wanna, um come in?” she asks, looking down at her feet as she says it. Josh’s cheeks go hot at that, being suddenly floored by how pretty she really is.

“I-” Josh starts, before checking his watch,. “Really need to be heading home.” He tries not to let the way her face falls hurt his feelings too bad. “I have work in like, an hour, so.” he explains, and she nods.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Maybe another time.” she says, eyes wide and hopeful.

Josh grins. "Definitely. I’ll call you–or you’ll see me in your garden, either one.” He throws in a wink and leans in to peck her cheek before turning and walking down the street to his car.  At the corner he turns and finds Y/N still standing in her doorway.

It was not a good day. Josh has been avoiding sleep because every time he closes his eyes at night,  he can’t stop picturing the time he showed his mum how he could climb the tree in the backyard. He fell on the second branch and skinned his shin and elbow. She patched him up and bought him ice cream, and then they watched movies until Josh fell asleep against her on the couch.

He sighs and presses the heels of his palms into his eyes. He’d stopped crying about an hour ago, now he’s just staring at his ceiling with his eyes burning. It’s four thirty. Sleep is definitely out of the picture, so Josh grabs his keys and does the only thing he can think of.

He picks seven roses on his way, hops the fence, and finds he can still cry, forehead pressed against cold stone.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there for, but when he opens his eyes, the sky is more grey than black. “Fuck.” He curses and rubs at his stinging eyes. “Sorry for swearing,” He whispers, laughing a bit. “I’ll be back soon, I love you.”

He stands.  It’s about to be five in the morning, and Josh really can’t see himself driving all the way back home. He doesn’t quite know what to do as he walks back, but then he sees the garden, and finds himself knocking on the door.

It takes a few, but Y/N does open the door, hair a mess, grey sweats hanging low on her hips. “Josh,” She says, surprised. “What are you doing here babe?” she asks softly.

“Couldn’t sleep. Needed some flowers.” he mumbles, blinking a few times to try and get rid of the blurriness creeping across his eyes. “Can I come in?”

“Yes, of course.” she says without missing a beat, and Josh sighs, relieved. He toes off his sneakers at the door and lets Y/N lead him through the house.  He can tell that Y/N wants to ask, but doesn’t.

In fact, she doesn’t say anything, and Josh finds that oddly comforting, she just sits next to Josh on the couch and keeps her hands curled in her lap.  

“I took some roses again this morning,” Josh admits.

“What color?” is all she responds with.

“The white.”

“That’s the best kind,” she assures him. You can keep helping yourself to those.” she says, leaning over and poking into Josh’s side. “Think of it as my gift to your mum, too.”

That makes Josh tear up a bit.

“I should go,” he says, not wanting to start crying in front of her for a second time.  

“Oh,” she says, sounding almost disappointed.  “Right— okay.”

Josh stands up, his chest feeling tight and his thoughts racing.  But in the midst of the chaos, he hears her voice.  Clear as day; the reason behind his messy, illogical mind. Don’t be stupid, dear, go after her.

Josh turns suddenly then, and takes a step closer to Y/N, so he can hold her hands in his own. “Can I take you to breakfast right now?”

She beams at him, dimples drilled into her cheeks as she nods in agreement. She hurriedly finds shoes and a jacket, stopping at the door to lock the door before following Josh out. They walk to his car hand in hand, and it all feels so right.

They get pancakes, and Josh kisses the whip cream off her lips. People give them looks as they laugh obnoxiously and fond over one another. Josh doesn’t care.

He wakes up the next morning in a bed that isn’t his own and to the smell of bacon. He smiles to himself. “Are you ever going to let me make you breakfast?” he asks, laughing a little when he sees Y/N standing in front of the stove.

“Maybe, if you ever wake up before me.” she says, looking over her shoulder and smiling at Josh.

They sit down to eat breakfast on Y/N‘s couch, blanket pulled over both of them, and it’s home.

She Knows (M)

Originally posted by jypnior

Summary: He says he’s never coming back, but he wants you to come along for the ride. An impromptu road trip with Jinyoung leads to desires surfacing, among other things. (High!Jinyoung x Reader)

Genre: Smut / Angst

Warnings:
Drug use

Word Count: 2,981

Written by: Admin Jaefairy

A/n: I don’t know where this came from., but I needed to finish it. Shoutout to the other fairies, @xiustories , and @disenchanteddreamers for reassuring me it wasn’t bad. OTL Please enjoy.

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X-Files fic: Philadelphia

Mulder and Scully drive to Philadelphia after her mother’s death. A missing scene for “Home Again.”

Rated R

With thanks, as ever, to @agoldenpalace

*

i walked the avenue ‘til my legs felt like stone

i heard the voice of friends vanished and gone

at night i could hear the blood in my veins

just as black and whispering as the rain

on the streets of Philadelphia

-Bruce Springsteen, “Streets of Philadelphia

*

“Mulder, let’s drive to Philadelphia,” she says, gripping at his shirt with the same hand that clutches the mystery her mother has left her. Her fingernails work for traction on the slippery material, and she throws her body up against him, half begging and half demanding. “I need to work.”

“No,” he says. “No, no, no.”

“Yes. Right now.”

“No, I get it, Scully, I do. But not right now.”

She remembers, for a moment, the night his mother died. The night he asked her to cut Teena open. No, she had said, no, no, no. But she couldn’t refuse him anything, not even that, when he was so full of raw need. She would have cut herself open to soothe him.

“Mulder, right now,” she says, picking up her briefcase, putting an end to the conversation. “I need to work right now.”

She walks out of the hospital. She doesn’t look back because she knows he will follow. He’d never refuse her anything either.

*

Keep reading

“what do you want?”
i want a life that’s worth living
without a need to turn around
just to say, well damn,
i could’ve treated you better
if i held you that night
would it have made a difference
probably, a life without regrets–
“don’t regret anything you do”
she tells me with a kiss goodbye
and it’s just another one of those nights
when you used to be 15 and you look back
the sun hits you right in the eye you’re 24
now you get it, i understand now
“what do you want?”
i want a lover that’ll tell me no
so that i can respect it
no means no means no means no
i want a lover that doesn’t force
hearts to beat where they shouldn’t
i want a lover that counts the stars
backwards by the thousands
every night just to say
“shit, i almost guessed it right this time”
kiss me slow, kiss me slow
let’s save this moment
like old nintendo video games
and we were too broke
to afford a memory card
so we played it every morning
just to beat it in one try
you grow up too quick
you used to be 7 and
now you’re 24 and
you’re still worrying
about if you said something wrong
or if it was offensive
or if you are liked
or if you are loved
“what do you want?”
i want to be like the greats
that came before,
as a matter of fact
i want to be greater
than the greats–
they’d want an honest fan
i want to be the best version
of myself by following
your inspiration
into the sea where i can see
into hearts where i’ll make art
into the soul where i shall sow
into emotions where oceans dry
into teardrops the shape of your eyes
“what do you want?”
i want poetry to be written for me
when i don’t ask, leave it everywhere
inside of my back pockets
when i grab my cigarettes
and find you there–
read every word,
save you into this moment
love me when, love me then
love me back, love me now
love me forever, love me always
keep us inside your ink
bleeding deep into your pores
regrets as tattoos, a love made for two
a love like this, unconditionally sweet
kiss us slowly, let me feel it until next week
leave the words that you can’t say in person
leave the words under your tongue
leave the words trapped in your throat
pandora’s box, my melody
hope finally finds an escape
hope finally makes it home
hope is finally seen,
fairy dust, stardust
moon dust, phoenix ash
dragon fire, wildfire–
we burn the same
“what do you want?”
i want an alarm for every flower
that’s dying right now
so that i at least have a reason
for why i can’t sleep
when i think about your soft lips
“what do you want?”
i want to know why we look
for each other when we’re away
i want to know why we look
for each other when we’re together
i want to know why we look
for reasons to blame each other
i want to know why we look
for reasons as to why we hate each other
i want to know so much about you
even though we are just strangers
dear lover, oh lover, my lover
we are no longer the same
and it’s this thing called love
that makes life feel insane
“what do you want?”
i want to teach my sons
that a woman’s body is hers
and hers alone, so respect it
i want to teach my daughters
that if a man ever lays a hand on you
tell them that daddy put me
through karate class
and this belt is only white
because i bleached it
just for this day,
i’m about to kick your butt
“what do you want?”
i want my mother to gain more weight
she’s losing much, we’re running out of time–
do you think angels give us signs?
what about god?
is this a sign?
or is it just time?
do we all end up sad and alone?
i hope not, she’ll always have us
“what do you want?”
slowly, with less poetry
more eye contact, less texting
more voice recognition
talk to me like i’m deaf
sign language
your screams
how come you never listen to me?
i hate you. i hate you.
love her like she’s blind,
show up everyday with flowers
even if she hates them,
she will love them.
even if she hates you,
she used to love you.
“what do you want?”
“go on many adventures without me, okay?”
sometimes i want that exact sentence
to not be your last words.
“what do you want?”
sometimes i wish i didn’t have to write so much,
the thing about being in love with you is–
for every sentence, i remember the passionate
fibers you put into each letter, if the word love
has four letters, you made it meaningful
each one had meaning
l stands for lasting,
we didn’t last
o stands for one,
one mistake can make you apologize for years
v stands for very,
very much in my mind
like sands that fall in an hourglass–
drop by drop, hold you until we’re faded
but like all stories, the book has a last page
a kiss is like that page, we just read it too much
loved into it too much, should’ve left
but we stayed, should’ve ended it
but we wanted to make it work–
the youth remembers e
e for ecstasy
e for euphoria
e for evenly empty
e for everything
e for etchings
e for eternity
we remember the ways
to count backwards
for every star
there’s a dark passage
that we can’t return to
and we won’t
“what do you want?”
i want to write it all out
i want to write it all down
i want my first thoughts to be
how can i be a better person?
by being a better person
“what do you want?”
i just want this to make sense to someone
am i making any sense?
jumbled earphone poetry,
no rhythm
no rhymes
no schemes
no iambic pentameter
no lyrics
no style
no structure
just everywhere
like the sound of a heart
removed from a chest
that has been poisoned
because being love sick
makes a broken person
feel like an indention
inside of a paragraph
like a doggy eared page
because love makes us feel
this chaos that’s light enough
to drown out the sun
because love makes us crazy
my dark room is its own brand
of an asylum
because love makes us better
even if soulmates split
and we’re two strangers
all over again
back to the start again
because love makes us contemplate the stars
and how the universe made us into this
because love makes us angry
while simultaneously
forcing us into constant laughter
such a stupid naive kid
who thought that he could contain love
love isn’t meant to be forever
it’s meant to be freedom
you do something wrong
learn how to do it right
and in truth, there’s never black and white
when it comes to love
no who wears the pants
it’s about compromise
and we always learn things
a little too late, when you can’t fix things
you can only dwell on it,
so i’ve been dwelling
“what do you want?”
i want happiness
i want to be poetry
like a link that ties
my past to a red kite
fly it real high,
maybe i’m high
electrocute my lies
into soft butterfly truths
turn the ocean into a huge glass of wine
baby, i’ll have two
one for my apologies
and another for not loving you right
so when i can’t sleep at night
and i find out new ways to treat you right
when i fall in love again
i’ll do it better,
i won’t make her cry
and if she does
i’ll hold her until the clouds get jealous
the only tears running down those eyes
should only ever be rain,
let’s kiss in the rain
to the person i haven’t met
and this is a little long
and this may hurt to read
but if you’re reading this
and i’m asleep
right next to you some day
and you realize that i
have a strange philosophy
on love, love to me?
every person that i’ve
felt full and empty for,
the people that i have fallen for,
i still love them,
all of them
every bit of who i am
shaped by who i should’ve been
every bit of after all this time?
always a thousand times
every single dozen of roses
bought from the very
first moment valentine’s day
was invented,
i will be enough to love you,
even if i get sad from time to time–
and one day, on that day,
when i wake up
and you’re reading this
and i’m less sad
and we might even be happy
if i do read this later
when i’m in my early 40s
with some kids who fall in
and out of love just to live a little
and they need advice
about love poems and sad songs
i’ll tell them to learn the art
of letting go, but also
to save precious moments–
savor them.
dear person i will love some day,
what do i want?
i want to love you,
in the right way.
“what do you want?”
yes. you. the person on this app.
reading this shit poetry.
you’ve made it this far.
don’t stop now.
“what do you want?”
whatever “it” is.
i believe in you.
i am proud of you.
you are great.
you are amazing.
you still have purity.
you are still flawed,
but that only makes you
unusually human.
i love you.
a teacher of mine said
that if a human doesn’t have
human connection at least
once per day,
insanity will sink in.
this is my contact.
i am the first astronaut
to ever land on your moon.
my feet is on your moon dust.
i will plant no flags,
i will sow an idea.
you are beautiful,
remember that.
—  “what do you want?”