sometimes i really just can't help myself

anonymous asked:

Is it wrong to purposely be nonverbal sometimes? What I mean is I know that if I try really hard I COULD be verbal but it would be much easier and less stressful to just stop speaking in situations where I feel I have to force the words out. I know there's so many people who can't help being nonverbal so I feel bad that in most situations I can force myself to speak, I just didn't know if it was ok to let myself be nonverbal to help myself deal with the situations where I feel like I need to be

Hey anon-friend.

Is it wrong to purposely be nonverbal sometimes? Is it wrong to purposely be nonverbal sometimes? What I mean is I know that if I try really hard I COULD be verbal but it would be much easier and less stressful to just stop speaking in situations where I feel I have to force the words out.

Nah. It’s not wrong. Just like how it’s not wrong to sit when you could stand, or put down your bag when you could keep holding it. Like how it’s not wrong to use a wheelchair when you can technically walk.

To expand on that last example using my own experiences; there are some days when I might be able to walk a bit, but I would be able to go farther, do more, and be in less pain at the end of the day if I use my wheelchair.

So, if I know I’m going to be out for 4 hours, I could:

a) Force myself to walk for an hour before switching to my chair because I’m tired and in pain, which makes for the next 3 hours being kinda sucky, or

b) Intentionally use my chair from the beginning, even if my pain is manageable and I have energy. This option saves me future pain and potential injury, and also lets me use my energy for other things.

As an autistic person, it’s a very similar situation with speaking. It’s an energy suck and you should feel free to toss the expectation of spoken speech overboard if that’s what is best for you.

As for myself, I do choose not to speak at times, or I choose to use a combination of AAC and speech.

I know there’s so many people who can’t help being nonverbal so I feel bad that in most situations I can force myself to speak, I just didn’t know if it was ok to let myself be nonverbal to help myself deal with the situations where I feel like I need to be

It is okay to save your words. It is okay to choose AAC over speech. It is okay to dedicate that brain power and energy to things you consider more important and living life in general.

Forcing speech can lead to meltdowns and shutdowns. It also contributes to burnout, which sucks, so choosing not to speak can be a way to recover from or prevent those things. 

It’s okay not to force yourself, just like it’s okay when I choose to take my wheelchair on days when I might be able to force myself into walking a bit. You should do what you need to do.

I hope this was helpful.

I still remember the day when I told you I loved you, and you didn’t say it back. And I still ask myself why that was. So much of me wants to be grateful for the fact that you were kind enough not to tell me something that you didn’t mean–and I am. But I can’t not wonder what it was that made it so that you didn’t feel the same way. Sometimes I tell myself that I just reminded you too much of you, and it was harder to love me for that reason. Other times I tell myself it’s because of the way you liked my twin first, and so there was just no way that you’d slide into feelings for me so soon. What I really needed to know back then, those words that you wouldn’t tell me: What did I do wrong?
—  🖤

meradorm  asked:

It's easy for me to do dry technical exercises (like value studies, master copies, negative space drawings of still lifes, whatever) but I can't seem to do anything creative. I really just want to draw fanart and cute comics for my fandoms, but I can't bring myself to do it for some reason. Either I know it'll turn out to be mediocre, or it's too much effort to do something unstructured rather than a clear exercise, or I have some kind of psychological problem expressing myself. Advice for this?

Try getting a sketchbook where you just put your rough ideas and experiments. Having a sketchbook for this purpose kind of helps alleviate the feeling that everything needs to be polished and great. I do this, and it helps me. Let yourself really experiment. 

I also sometimes use plain copy paper, which is nice bc you don’t feel like you’re ruining a page in your fancy sketchbook or whatever. Or even try scratch paper. Whatever gets you to draw fearlessly, even if it’s a bit(or a lot) rough around the edges.

Another way you can achieve this is to use ink! Now you can’t erase. Try not to cross out too much, since learning and just starting is half the battle. 

You have to continue drawing horrible things before anything great will come out of it. Constantly analyze and redraw things you just did. Sometimes redoing an awful sketch better somewhere else on the page can help remove the feeling of this will be mediocre

It’s hard, but you need to sketch badly a lot to attain the skills. Your expectations will often exceed your skills, and this is hard, but try to turn it around and view it as a motivator, instead of something that holds you back. 

I hope this helps you!


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anonymous asked:

So I have a prompt where the team, they really love lance, but they can do one little thing and it'll make him feel like he's unwanted so he just keeps to himself. I know it's not like lance but I guess it's just me self projecting myself onto him. Sometimes it can get so bad that he won't talk for like days and it just leaves him staying up all night with a feeling of wanting to cry but can't and he knows it's dumb but he can't help it. He knows they care but he just can't see why they would.

Relatable

Lance loved his team, he enjoyed every moment he could with them. He would sit next to Pidge in complete silence as she worked on a new project. He would help Hunk cut up foreign food for meals while they shared jokes with each other. He would train with Keith, making sure he took breaks every hour or so, keeping him from passing out. He would talk with Shiro whenever he had a hard time sleeping or started to panic. He spent hours lounging on Alluras bed while they talked about beauty products and the Blue Lion. He also would listen to Coran ramble about bootcamp or his home planet, while he reluctantly cleaned the pods. 

Lance always knew that they team loved him. He knew Pidge saw him as an older brother. He knew Hunk saw him as his best friend. Keith saw him as a “rival” but more as a friend over anything else. Shiro saw him as the team sharpshooter and complimented him on his skills after every mission. Allura saw him as a younger brother and treated like one. Coran saw him as the son that he lost, letting Lance fill the hole that was left by him when he passed with Altea. 

Yet everyday wasn’t perfect, some days Lance didn’t feel like the team wanted him around. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe his brain was changing how his friends talked and making them seem worse than they were. Lance wasn’t sure but he didn’t like the feeling that came with it. 

He remembered the first time it happened like it was yesterday. Lance was lounging with Allura, face mask on and candles lit. They were both taking a much needed “spa day” and Lance was telling the princess stories about his family on Earth. 

“So Marco looks at Sofia straight face and says, ‘I don’t really like dark chocolate.’ So now Sofia is getting upset because she just spent $30 on dark chocolate just to discover that Marco doesn’t like it. It was really.” Lance paused and looked at Allura, she was staring at her potable control pad typing letters down. “Allura?” 

Allura blinked up from the pad, “what? Oh sorry Lance, I wasn’t listening. I’m trying to figure out something.If you give me a second you can retell the story.” She gave him a small smile and Lance smiled back. She returned her attention back towards her typing and Lance lied down on the bed. Allura never did stop typing and by the time she did Lance had already left the room mumbling a goodbye about an hour beforehand. 

Lance was sitting on his bed, staring at his hands. He felt off, like someone took a piece of him and moved it around. Stop overreacting, it was a boring story anyways. I’m sure she wasn’t that interested in hearing about my siblings. Lance groaned and leaned back on his bed. It’s okay, I’m sure it won’t happen again. 

However it did and Lance remembers every time it did. It wouldn’t happen all the time, his friends were always listening to one another and Lance was aware of this fact. Yet when it did happened Lance felt unwanted, he felt like he was annoying or a burden to everyone around him. He didn’t know if it was the stories he was telling or the topic of discussion but his throat would always close up whenever he realized that someone wasn’t listening to him.

He tried to not let it get to him but sometimes his emotions got the best of him and Lance would lock himself in his room, keeping to himself. On the days he was recovering from this childish thing as he called it, he wouldn’t tell the team what he was thinking or feeling. He kept to himself like they were strangers he just recently met. 

“Ugh this is so stupid.” Lance blinked his eyes and stared at his ceiling, he knew it was early in the morning but he couldn’t will himself to sleep. “Why am I being such a baby over this? So what if they don’t listen to me all the time, they’re busy people with roles to fulfill. I’m, well I’m just the 7th wheel. They don’t need to waste time on me.” Lance felt bile move up his throat and he swallowed it down. He knew that that was a lie. He was fully aware that his team loved him and would support him no matter what but for some reason he couldn’t see why they would. He was nothing special really, he was just someone that could shoot a gun and pilot the friendliest lion. 

Lance swallowed a sob and bit his lip, he hated feeling like this. He hated feeling unwanted when he knew that he was wanted. He couldn’t convince himself that he was wanted though. On nights like this none of that mattered. Why would it? After all he’s just a boy from Cuba.

Ehhh I wasn’t really sure what to do but I hope you like it!

I was low key self projecting here (haha)

Sorry it took so long!

Thank you!!! 

miss-ingno  asked:

"in this I am not an expert." fuck, I love this phrase. I'm gonna start using it asap. Just, the confidence that this implies in 'in this' is so- I really need that confidence boost and have been checking my language for self-deprecating stuff and this is so much better than me putting myself down with a "I'm not an expert" (or sounding like an insufferable dick by adding a 'but' lol). Because oF COURSE I can't be an expert in everything. I don't have to. Just, thank you Sam. This really helped.

LOL! Yeah like I’m good at plenty of shit, it’s okay if this isn’t shit I’m good at :D Sometimes I have to remind myself it’s okay to just be ignorant of something and not defend that thing like I know what I’m talking about. 

Keith: BE A TEAM WITH ME, DAMMIT! FORM VOL-NEVERMIND I’LL DO IT MYSELF!!!

Shiro: *looks at Keith*

Keith:

Shiro: *shoulder touch*

Shiro: We’re with you, Keith.

Keith: …Actually, it’s better if we take a breath and work this out together. I’m sorry, I love you guys.

anonymous asked:

i'm 16 and i'm really happy to be a lesbian sometimes (mostly online), but i feel like i can't say the word out loud, like it's a curse word. i want to be open about who i am, but i'm not comfortable with it, and i don't think that discomfort will just go away on its own. help? advice?

when i was trying to come out to myself I used to sit in front of the mirror and in a low voice go “I’m not straight”. I felt super guilty and uncomfortable but i would do it every now and then and it would get easier. In general practicing kindness with yourself and noticing your negative words to yourself helps you get better at being more comfortable, baby steps. Hope this helps 🌈

anonymous asked:

One weird thing I've noticed about my ADHD is that, despite the fact that it causes me so many problems and I hate it sometimes, I can't really separate it from other parts of myself that I do like? In a weird way it's kind of linked to my intelligence, resilience and a lot of unusual things I'm good at so I end up feeling like I have a weird brain that's both better and worse than normal. Whereas with anxiety and depression I just think of them as things I have to fight off that are in my way.

I think that makes sense, and is a healthy way to think of it if it helps you. (It’s how I think of it as well, but I don’t think it’s wrong for people to think of it as being separate either.)

-J

jemchew  asked:

Hi Amalthea, I just wanted to say that half the posts you make here I don't have any knowledge of except SLBP, but having said that I absolutely motherfracking ADORE how you incorporate screenshots into a lot of them. It never fails to either make me laugh or chortle deep into the night (because of our wretched time zones). Sometimes the accompanying commentary is so funny I really can't help myself from cackling sharply when I should be quiet. Keep on doing you, man. I love it. 😂💓💓

Whoa! Hey! 

Sorry, @jemchew! Must have left my harem cage door open. And the tsundere translator would be broken right now, because of course.

Listen, Mitsundere, I’m out of batteries for the translator, but we can make do without it. 

Let’s be nice to all of our corner-buddies, just like we talked about. They are amazing, lovely, people who take time out of their day to spend with us, so let’s treat them right.

Are you for real, with that!?

Originally posted by shadevault

Come on! You can do it. Just remember the last time…and then do the exact opposite.

Got it?

No, not “got it!” You were supposed to say something nice! Let’s try again.

Just pretend they’re manju. All of them. Picture every last one of our corner-buddies as manju. 

of all the derps to come tumbling out of my harem, it had to be this one

You’re starting to concern me! 

Won’t work? Damn. I really thought it would. Then…just imagine they’re all…Hideyoshi? 

Hideyoshi in his underwear! 

No, Hideyoshi naked! 

Is that how it works?

You can’t have two derps confusing each other! It’s like dividing by zero!

Never mind– just go with it!

Why was that the one thing that worked!?

Originally posted by nosleeptbh

anonymous asked:

Oh my god, I made a break from my phone for a few hours and come back to see that Phil actually liked a photo on twitter of him checking out Dan??? Like??? What???? [isphanreal...?] (Sorry for being such a demon >.< , I really can't help myself)

i just woke up and i’m fucking shook to my core! this is not like phil omg! sometimes dan will like something phan related and blow it off like “i didn’t read the caption” but phil has never!

cryindollhouse  asked:

Um, hey, mama. I'm sorry, if smth dosen't write right, i'm just /very/ bad at English... How can i get enough determination? I just... I like to draw, and i do it a lot, but sometimes i really hate what i drew. I just look at the picture and thinking: omg that's ugly, why do i even drawing? Even when other people saying that that's prety cool or good. I do understand that my drawings are not that bad but... I just can't help myself. What do i have to do? And sorry for bothering you.

Don’t apologize, friend. I’m always here for a little advice when needed! And boy do I have some for you lol.

First, I think it’s important to know that any artist worth their salt feels the same way you do from time to time. No matter how long they’ve been drawing, or how skilled they are at it, there are quiet moments of frustration after scribbling out an image they worked hours on. There are frustrated days of “why the hell won’t my hands work like I want”.

For every beautiful piece of art you see from your favorite artist, there are thousands more crumpled papers, hit “undo” buttons, and deleted layers.

That’s what encourages me to keep drawing, even when I feel like I’m not very good at it. ( 75% of the time lol) I look back on my old work, realized how much I’ve improved, and then remember art is a constantly changing and growing thing that only gets better the more you focus on it.

It’s okay to hate your art and feel bad sometimes, as long as you pick the pin back up the next day.

indiegenesis101  asked:

🌟?

For every 🌟 I receive, I’ll share one fun fact about the muse.

@indiegenesis101

“Luci is a wonderful brother but sometimes I wish I had my own room. Still, I understand why he can’t really sleep unless he knows I’m safe at his side…”

#roommates problems

anonymous asked:

Ok I can't help myself. What are your best most kinky (like the kinkiest of the kink) smut fics? Btw you guys are absolutely fantastic (also maybe some dom!cas as well but I don't really care as long as they're kinky XD)

Originally posted by engellmann

We keep getting asks like these way too often :’D

Why are  you guys doing this to us? I feel so vanilla with the smut fics that I actually like… So for the sake of this blog I always read the kinky, the weird and sometimes downright bizarre fics. You know, just incase we get another ask like this. HERE is the link to our WTF did I just read list. Feel free to scroll through it to find all the bizarre kinks we’ve come across.

Also HERE is a link to all of our tags If you scroll down the list you’ll see all the kinks we’ve covered so far!

Ps. To be fair we don’t usually rate fics in our WTF did I just read tag! – Admin A

For my part, I’m so sorry but I haven’t read anything that could get over the ones I have already recced in the previous WTF Did I just read posts. The way I end up into those is by an accident, and lately it have not happened. I will keep my eyes open when I browse my way through the amazing land of fanfics, though, because I’m sure there are many WTF fics waiting for me. – Admin J


Title: Lessons

Author: Miss_Lv

Rating: Explicit

Words: 8,926 – Finished

Admin A’s notes: Yeah well… Not to be a huge prude and judgemental, BUT WHY?! Why do fics like these have to exist? And why am I reading this? That is all…

Summary: Castiel’s teen son is dating bad boy Dean Winchester. Castiel comes home one night and finds his son passed out on the couch. When Castiel checks his son’s room, Dean is drunk and high as fuck. He thinks Castiel is his son and Castiel goes with it, taking sloppy seconds from a barely conscious Dean.

( Read here )


Title: Fat and Happy

Author: mnwood

Rating: Mature

Words: 61,829 – Finished

Admin A’s notes: So I came across this collection while doing research for a previous chubby kink ask. Now I did not read them all because there’s like 55 chapters of button popping, stuffing and fat fondling… I’m not judging you guys :’D What ever floats your boat and whatever…

Summary: asked for chubby!Dean and chubby!Cas prompts on tumblr, so these are a collection of stand-alone ficlets that I wrote in response.

( Read here )


Title: Kinky Bastards

Author: ClaraOswin

Rating: Explicit

Words: 16,556 – Finished

Admin A’s notes: Some of these oneshots aren’t that bad, but mostly I was highly disturbed and blushing. Also I had to skip a few fics from this collection because there were some things that just don’t ever need to exist anywhere! Pedophilia and Beastiality among other things just really don’t need to exist even in the fictional world. That is just my opinion and I’m sticking with it.
Summary: It’s a collection of kinky fics with loads and loads of sex and wincest.

( Read here )


Title: For the Relief of Unbearable Urges

Author: SloeDjinn

Rating: Explicit

Words: 21,478 – Finished

Admin A’s notes: Why? Why would you want that? This was… awkward. Seriously painfully awkward :’D

Summary: Written for a prompt over at the SPN kink meme.
“I want older Cas (around early 30s) tweaking underage Dean’s (older than 15) nipples and sucking on them til milk comes out. I want Dean getting off to Cas’s deep voice saying dirty things how Dean is such a slut and would do anything as long as he gets his tits sucked and played with. Cas getting off to slutty Dean is also welcomed.”

( Read here )


The Ask Box will be open again at May first 3pm in Finnish time (UTC+03:00 ). So get ready to post your asks.

Our SUBMIT BOX is always open if you want to send us messages, get your own fanfic reviewed or featured, or you can even do your own list for us to rec like THIS. All asks send to our submit box will be deleted!

anonymous asked:

things are so crazy right now. i need help. I NEED SOMEBODY TO HELP ME. oh gosh i can't do this anymore, today i was about to kill myself. FUCK. I can't. i just realized my friends don't give a fuck about me. they never did. it was only me trying to justify their careless actions in every way possible. i'm alone now. i really need to go away, to die. i'm going crazy, i spend my days in my bed, sometimes i scream and cry, i can't eat anymore i've lost 4 kg in a month. i need to die. i'm ALONE

You might be alone now, but you know, no one stays alone forever. I think it’s just not possible…

If you want to know my opinion though, I think it’s better to be alone than to have ‘friends’ who don’t care about you. Are you really willing to kill yourself because of people who didn’t even care?

The phrase that my mother told me once is just..so fitting in this situation so I will just write it down:

If you killed youself for someone who doesn’t care about you, then it’s pointless, because they don’t care. But what if you killed youself and they do care? Then you’ve made a horrible mistake.

Dude, I can’t really sugar coat anything today, so I will just say it the way I can now. You’ll be the one missing the most if you kill youself. DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO SO MUCH? Like, yeah. Everything sucks in your life right now. SO WHAT? IS IT REALLY FUCKING WORTH IT TO JUST THROW EVERYTHING YOU MIGHT POTENTIALLY HAVE IN YOUR FUTURE JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE ALONE NOW? ALL THESE PEOPLE YOU’LL MEET? THINGS YOU’LL DO? ARE YOU REALLY WANT TO KILL YOUSELF BECAUSE OF FEW PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T CARE?

ARE you even

I’m just

AGH

Your life is the most precious thing that you will Ever have. Throwing it away because it sucks NOW is stupid. IT WILL get better, man. IT WILL. For now, find something to distract yourself from your suffering. Do something. Do something you never did before, clean your room, I don’t know anything can help. Just don’t lie down in your bed ‘cherishing’ how damn bad you feel, it won’t help you.

You will meet people who will truly care about you, either in real life or in the internet. You will. So just…keep going dude. The worst thing you can do to you is to kill yourself.

ennead13x  asked:

Psst, just making sure. I don't think Mink raped Aoba for shits and giggles, just that it should be included int he common route on the chart. Unless that wasn't directed to me then nevermind.

Oh no sweetie it wasn’t directed at you, it was directed at the majority of Mink haters in general. Whose sole reason for hating him is that ‘he raped Aoba, so he must be the most vile scum of the earth and everyone who thinks differently must be perverted creeps who have no compassion for rape victims!’

When it’s seriously not like that at all.

Everyone in this fandom will clearly tell you what he did was wrong and won’t even bother telling you otherwise. What he did was despicable; we know it, Aoba knows it, hell even he knows it. It’s very well established by this point- WHAT HE DID WAS WRONG.

Yet people still think that because we like Mink we must be some kind of rape apologists, that we are blatantly glossing over the fact.

‘Mink raped Aoba, therefore he must be evil inside and out.’

People immediately think that and completely block out everything else, so when a person who doesn’t share the same idea comes along, they just can’t understand why they would like such an evil character other than to assume they’re either ignoring what he did or they’re okay with it.

No, we like Mink because of the person he was behind all of that. Inside that cruel outer exterior was a man who had nothing left to lose, who threw away every ounce of kindness he had left in him to seek vengeance upon the man who stole everything he had ever known. And yet Mink still fell in love with Aoba, who had somehow managed to slip through the walls of Mink’s resolve and tap into the small pieces of human decency he still had left.

And that probably frightened Mink a little, not only was Aoba some kind of ‘demon’ who could control people, he was also someone created by Toue, the person who single-handedly destroyed Mink’s life. He shouldn’t have felt anything but contempt for Aoba’s very existence; and yet he did regardlessly. Aoba became so precious to Mink that he’d do anything to make sure Aoba would be alive and well. He was willing to destroy what was left of his heart to ensure Aoba’s own wouldn’t suffer, he had expected to die without anyone regretting it.

So when he lived he had no idea what to do with himself, he couldn’t stay, that was for sure. He had hurt the one he loved so badly that he felt ashamed and so unworthy to even be in his presence that he left, fulling intending to atone for his crimes in solitude for however long he decided to punish himself.

THAT was the kind of person we liked and the kind of person Aoba could love and be with. Mink has a good heart and that’s what we saw in reconnect and the drama CDs, we saw a man trying to live with his mistakes and make sure to cherish the life he has now.

But, that’s enough of my impassioned screeching. All in all I wasn’t the least put off with your suggestion, in fact, I didn’t even know what you were talking about until I reread the post.

Sorry I kinda exploded here I never meant to rant, you have every right to smack me up side the face. This isn’t what you were worried about at all!

anonymous asked:

Even though I've heard all the statistics about doctors hating their jobs I still can't imagine myself doing another job. I really want to learn more about medicine but if I become a doctor I don't want to hate what I do. Is there a way for me to stay positive?

Everybody starts out their pursuit of a medical career full of idealism. We all say we just want to help people. We see tv doctors portrayed as (admittedly sometimes tragic) heroes and we want a piece of that. I was that way in high school. I shadowed doctors who talked to me about what I now realize is the reality of medicine and thought, “nah, it won’t be that way for me.”

The reality of it is that medicine–both taking care OF patients and caring FOR patients–is very emotionally taxing. Even without the nightmares that are insurance companies and pharmacy benefit managers, it’s still really frustrating sometimes to just have to deal with other human beings day in and day out. 

Not hating what you do has a lot more to do with you than with your job or your patients. Be wise when you pick your eventual specialty and job. Have your values and goals and priorities listed out so you know exactly what you need out of a job and out of life itself. Make sure that your job allows for the lifestyle that you want to have. 

I think staying positive and avoiding becoming cynical has to be a daily practice for doctors. It needs to be in your mind all the time. When you catch yourself making sweeping generalizations about patients of a certain type or when you fall into believing stereotypes, catch yourself and redirect your thoughts back to the individual before you. Remind yourself that that person is a human being who deserves the same quality of care that you would expect someone to give you in the same situation.

Look for the positive in your patients. Even if you don’t particularly like them, try to find something positive to say about them rather than focusing on their failures. It’s more about keeping your mind from dwelling in a pit all the time.

Keep returning to the reasons you decided to pursue a career in medicine. Don’t get swept up in the day-to-day. Remind yourself of your goals all the time and evaluate whether your current mood or attitude or situation is helping you achieve those goals. 

Finally, take care of yourself the way you take care of patients. If you treat your own body and mind like crap, it will spill over to your patient care eventually. If you give yourself rest and make time for fun and relaxation and leave room for your own health, then you will be in much better shape to care for others.

FitzSimmons + Indoors Rainy Day ( Also for @inevitablyfitzsimmons because I needed an excuse to do another and you didn’t specify indoors or outdoors ;))

“Fitz! That’s cheating!”

“Jems, I’m pretty certain it’s impossible to cheat at chess”

“Let’s just watch a movie already”

anonymous asked:

Lately, I've just been absolutely hating my art. My friends all say I'm a really good artist, but I just can't fully believe them. I never know what needs to be fixed, if anything, it always just looks bad to me, to the point where I sometimes scribble all over it halfway through, or throw it away when I finish. Any way to help convince myself that my art isn't as bad as I think?

Do these friends draw?

To some who don’t draw, anyone with any level of skill can seem like an art god. Others may see the flaws, but their minds immediately jump to “better than anything I could ever do!” and “who am I to criticize? I can’t even draw a stick figure.”

Which… is not a very helpful mindset. You don’t need to be a chef to know the steak is overdone and burnt to a crisp; you don’t need to be an artist to see that women don’t bend that way.

It’s also sometimes really hard to get honest feedback from friends and family, because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

This is not to say you’re a bad artist! But, you need the critique of those who can see where your weak points are, aren’t afraid to point them out to you, and help you to overcome them. [Conceptart] is about the best place for this, though they can be a little intimidating because a lot of professionals hang out there, and some people can come across mean.

periwinklepjm  asked:

How can I help myself de-stress? At the moment I have exams coming up and I can't help but get anxious the point where it is really consuming and I find myself messing up even the smallest of instances, even with material I already know and topics I have revised over countless times. I think I am just exhausting myself by worrying so much but I don't know how to make it cease. How can I make it stop and what makes me so anxious all the time, as others around me are not? Thank you x

Firstly, one thing I have noticed from students is that they can be good actors sometimes. They don’t want others to know they are nervous, anxious, or whatever. Especially in competitive scholastic environments. So just because it doesn’t seem like others aren’t anxious, it doesn’t mean they aren’t. 

Secondly, it’s okay to feel a little nervous. However, it becomes a problem when your anxiety interferes with your ability to function. The focus shouldn’t be on getting rid of your feelings but rather finding a harmony such that you can still perform to your best ability. With that will come confidence. 

Lastly, daily meditation is your friend. Don’t just meditate when times are tough and you are anxious. Meditating daily will help you find a peace and clarity that is independent of when times are good or bad. Anxiety and stress impair your ability to access working memory and impede higher orders of thought. By calming down and refocusing, you will give yourself a better state of mind with which to work. 

A few things to explore:

  1. Be true to the material and the subjects, not your desired outcomes. Everyone wants an A and doesn’t want a low grade. Yet fixation on the outcome of your exams will only create tension and fear inside of you. Instead, focus on taking a more in-depth interest in the material. Get to know it.
  2. Self care is a must. How your body feels is a major player in how confident you feel in your studies. Take time in the mornings and evenings to stretch. This can be very important when you are sitting and studying so often. In the evenings, find some relaxing activities you can do. Trade massages with a friend, take an epsom salt bath if you have a bath or even just soak your feet in a warm bucket of epsom salt water. Make sure you are eating enough and right, as stress can cause us to crave sugars due to the effect on our adrenal system. Again, meditation. A guided meditation may also help you to relax. 
  3. Don’t judge yourself based on outcomes but measure yourself on how thoroughly you prepared. A score is just a score. We are in the habit of using scores as a means to measure a person’s capability but it is by no means an actual reflection of that person. It is but a measure in time. I received a B- in organic chemistry my first semester and an A- the second semester. The grade isn’t a judicial sentence on who you are and what your limits can be. It is merely an indicator of your preparedness meeting the unknown of the exam. Relax into the unknown over which you have no control and keep yourself focused on what you can control: preparing. 
  4. This is battle. Don’t get hung up on feeling comfortable. Care for yourself and be prepared but don’t expect the entire process to feel good. Battle is not comfortable and we must be ready to improvise and adapt. Don’t take feelings of discomfort to be signs of your own weakness. Knowing the discomfort is temporary, meet it head on. 

In the end, a grade may be a grade but how you meet your anxiety and inner limits can be a great opportunity to transform yourself for when you go through this again in the future. 

Namaste my friend. Best of luck :)