sometimes i make things when im sad

Im gonna rant a bit about skinny girl ignorance.

It is quite obvious upon seeing me that im not skinny, i am a curvy girl and i love every part of me even if they sometimes make me sad when i encounter the fat shaming culture of society or when i think about my PCOS.
Im also beautiful and i unapologetically embrace that, my friends and family will tell me what beautiful facial features i have but not once have i received a compliment saying that I am, as a whole, beautiful. I ignore this because i know why they wont say im beautiful.
Though i want to be completely and utterly happy with myself and comfortable theres always little things that make me feel so god damn isolated from my skinny friends.
They take me with them to shop at stores where they only sell small clothing with maybe one or two large sized things that are still tight. Ill cry in the changing room because my friends will have a nice dress on thats comfortable for them while i have to lie and say “I didnt like the texture/color” because im humiliated that i cannot fit this stores idea of beauty
Tank tops are a no, small dresses are a no, cute swimsuits dont exist for me, i dont get to have those “cute!” little bralettes with no support , no tank tops, i cant just trade or borrow clothes with my friends, all of those things are sold with the intention of having skinny girls wear them.

If i go out to eat with anyone I have to hear that old annoying phrase

“i feel so fat!”

Well you may feel it, but i live it.
I dont get to just have one large meal and feel full then in the next hour go back to feeling skinny like you do. I get to feel terrible about myself for eating anything.
If my friends are trying to insult some other girl or talk badly about them theyll say how fat the girl is, they use fat as the ultimate insult because to them that means unlovable.

I know they arent insulting me directly, in fact the thought doesnt even process with them that what they said hurts me. But it, without fail, always does because it reminds me that i am not like them and i probably never will be.

If im not dressed femininely and nicely with nice makeup then im seen as a slob. The skinny girls messy bun and sweatpant combo is endearing and cutesy but what am i doing with my life if i even attempt such a thing?
So, skinny girls, id like you to notice that if you have a friend thats not so skinny, they arent going to want to swim with you, shop with you, eat with you or talk with you if you assume that everything thats good for you is also good for them. the fat girls are beautiful, they are cute, they are desirable and lovable just like you but sometimes you can be the one that makes them feel like they arent all that great.

(feel free to delete caption if u reblog! yknow for that Aesthetic Feel)

but aaa this is so bad…i had to just crop it from a screenshot!! its 5:18 AM!! idk how wiki works but i couldnt get this idea out of my head while i was watching jacks vlog???? hes oh so sweet and Kind and He Means So Much To Me???
so i made this!! i hope people at least like it haha

hey guys

im a person.
it can really hurt my feelings when you say really horrible things to me.
im not going to stop being me. im not going to change.
but sending mean messages to me isnt a solution to any of your problems.
im a person.
sometimes you ruin my day or put me in a bad mood or make me sad.
and it can make me act certain ways and get annoyed or irritated or have little patience or feel really down.
im a person.
and when i can see over 1000 hateful messages in my inbox it sucks sometimes.
ask yourself why you have to send me a hateful message anonymously. like seriously? deliberately trying to make a girl sad?
im a person. i have feelings too. even if it seems like im not real im fucking real

10

people probably think that im weird for obsessing over two guys with british accents and fringes who play video games and talk random things (sometimes. Most of the time they talk about interesting stuff and are very intelligent and give good advice. Like not to trust chairs because they will hurt you). People think that it is stupid and that I am wasting my time. but these two british guys with fringes who play video games and talk about random things (sometimes. Not all the time) make me happy when I feel sad and like the world is against me. I know that if I search up their names on YouTube, I will be laughing and smiling for the rest of the day and that is why I obsess over them. they put me in be best moods and I will never forget that.

P.s. I sometimes wrote in lower case when I was supposed to capitalize because it felt like if I wrote in lower case I sounded calmer. I do know how to capitalize though so don’t worry!

man it makes me really sad when people diss the hetalia fandom

i literally never see that many bad things happen here. yeah there are bad eggs like any fandom and weebs like any other anime fandom but

what’s the worst we do?? enjoy ourselves?? woah, so terrible!!! sometimes have shipping wars?? no other fandom does that!! fucking hetalians!

im overly defensive about this fandom i will defend it until i die

callout post

sooo, i see how everyone’s doing these “people i look up to/am friends with” posts and i decided to jump in and break your fun by doing a much needed callout post.

despite being a little inactive because im pretty busy, sometimes i sneak around my dash to see what’s happening lately, and there’s just this one person that has been bothering me a little.

the person in question is called mori and runs @asklonelymiku so here’s a list of things that are wrong with her

  • is disgustingly pretty irl
  • makes puns that make me laugh when im sad
  • writes “the things you said, and the things you spoke,” on the same paragraph
  • tells me she loves me and makes me cry
  • is ridiculously talented
  • wont leave me alone for a single day (and i wont leave her alone either) even though the timezone difference between us is 13 hours
  • has a daddy kink
  • is trying to steal MY daddies????

so basically this is a very horrid person as you can see, and i’ve been kind of stuck around with her for almost two years now and she’s just really dumb and really important to me and i kind of want to marry her but its okay because no homo etc.

we’re the kinds of friends that stay up until 5am just to talk to each other with this dumb timezone difference and we help each other out all the time and we let out all our salt on kik. we tell each other everything, so if any of us is secretly an internet predator, we’re fucked. like, “damn mori there’s this lady in the train and she has a pink bag” “oh my GOOOOD imagine kaito in that”, basically

so yeah this is definitely not an appreciation post, not at all,, i’m just saying that this person that i originally could barely roleplay gay sex with kind of became my best friend over the time and now i feel her around me and she feels me around her as if we were close in real life

AND im a shitty friend because i never finished her birthday gift omg im sorry mori please hold me,,, but, i try my best!!!!!! idk im really tired omg falls down

please

kiss mori for me

sweetsadcupcake  asked:

So....Ven, what are you doing when you're sad and feel lonley?

Well, when im feeling sad, lonely

it helps me when I put my feelings on paper, I draw about how i feel and it makes me feel a little better sometimes if I dont feel like drawing I’ll

it’s always good to let out your feelings and not bottle things up, so its okay to cry and seek comfort from others even if it is just a stuffed animal! This one;s name is Freddy and ive had him ever since elementary school. Listening to my favorite music always helps me too!! but most of all! If im ever feeling sad or lonely I know i can always rely on

all of my friends  (✿◠‿◠)

your friends will always be there for you to cheer you up when your down <33 and maybe if YOU are feeling sad and lonely and your friends are busy or something well then….. you have me!!!!! I’ll always be there to support and cheer you up!!!  ´ ▽ ` )ノ

@mitzythewatchdog @asklordconquerer @ask-waluigi-the-watchdog @aubreythewatchdog @askmikethewatchdog thank you all for being my friends!!!! <33

anonymous asked:

sometimes when i'm sad i come to your blog so all the suho content and your tags can cheer me up again 💕🙈

thank u so much thats an amazing wonderful thing to hear im glad i can make u smile w me blog!!! 😚😚😚😚💘💘💘💘