I love him.
I think we need to remember that he was, at times, a despicable asshole.
We need to remember the time he compared harry to James again, guilt-trapped him into trying to get him to meet with him (despite him being a WANTED MAN) and doesn’t try to at least realize why harry is being so unlike his father and trying to be cautious. Because, um, Sirius, you’re the closest thing to family that he has. And he doesn’t want to risk that even a little.
Remus was terrified of waking up and realizing that while in werewolf form he had attacked someone (attack being a cover-word for murder, okay?) and Sirius disregarded this entirely for a truly … evil prank on Snape. I mean …
This was just evil. Evil. It would be different if he had thought about it in a sort of passing thought, because we all have evil thoughts in passing and as long as we do not act on them they do not really mean much. But this … He betrayed Remus and almost killed Snape because he was nosy. How does that match up, Sirius? At all?
Treated Kreacher like absolute shit despite being the one to create of my favorite quotes from the series. “If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” Well, I’m taking a good look at you Sirius and I’m seeing a man who treats his house-elf like shit, even though YOU could have been the one to CHANGE him for the better. YOU could have treated him with kindness and brought him away from the Pure-blood supremacy of which he had been taught and recited. Sirius must have known Kreacher had an affinity for people who treated him well, and, if someone was kind enough to him, would have come around. But NOPE.
And this is a little irrelevant, but sometimes I fear Sirius didn’t really love Harry, but was loving the parts of James that were in him. Had never grown to love Harry, just held on to remnants of James left within him as his son. This is a very personal, irrational fear I have on Sirius’s character, and is probably not true, but I worry.
Sirius was also a man of incredible will and resilience, was deeply upset he couldn’t do more to help the Order, never showed a hint of cowardice in ANYTHING (that I can remember), was an incredibly powerful wizard, loved his godson and his friends, and was very likely to be suffering from some mental illnesses and tried. Tried as hard as he could.
See? I’m a grown up. I’m trying to come to terms with being an adult, because I don’t feel like one often and I don’t think I’ll ever truly cross over. But as an ADULT and a reasonable reader of the series, I can see both sides of a character I love and even those that I do not. I could be friends with fans who love or hate Sirius and I wouldn’t much of a problem. Can we just grow up and realize that complex characters give us more to talk about and we shouldn’t try to pigeonhole characters (whoever they might be; Snape, Sirius, Dumbledore, Harry, Hermione, Ginny, even Percy …) and hate and love them however we want without trying to turn them COMPLETELTY evil or COMPLETELY good? Because it doesn’t work and never will.
Over and out.