sometimes i look at jared and then i cry

Save Me - Chapter 38

Slowly, tears started to roll down my cheeks again and just like before, I was perilous to stop them.

“Baby girl, no, no, don’t cry.” He said, as he once again tried to comfort me. “There’s absolutely nothing to embarrassed or ashamed of. This just sometimes happens.”

“I’m just sorry…” I said still not looking up.

Shifting me in his lap, he sat me up and with the side of his index finger, he lifted my chin forcing me to look him in the eyes. I still refused, I just couldn’t. So instead of facing him I closed my eyes as tears continued to run down my cheeks.

“Open your eyes, baby. Look at me.”

I responded the only way I could, I shook my head ‘no’.

“Vivie, open your eyes and look at me, right now.”

He was trying not to get angry with me, I could tell. And the last thing I wanted was to make him upset after what I just put him through. Giving me another moment to think, he moved his finger away from my chin. Instead, he lifted his hand to my cheek, wiping the tears away with his thumb then wove his finger into my hair cupping my cheek. Pulling my lips to his, he kissed me.

“I wanted you to look at me because I wanted you to see that I’m sincere but that’s okay. You can just listen then.” I stayed quiet. “What I think is that we experienced something together that was exciting and fulfilling and extremely intense sexually as well as emotionally. I think maybe this is the first time you’ve had the freedom to openly express your true submissive self and that’s a lot to process.”

He paused and I know he was hoping he was getting through to me…and he was. Everything he has said and done to this point proved that I could trust him. So, I did. Lifting my head up, I slowly opened my eyes. For the first time since my breakdown, our eyes met.

“I am honored you trusted me and shared yourself with me. You are amazing, baby girl. I’m so proud of you.” He said as he pulled my cradled body closer to his. Leaning into him, I wrapped my free arm around his neck and held him cheek to cheek. Inhaling his scent deeply calmed whatever nerves remained.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” I said, feeling like a weight had been lifted. I had never been so happy to be wrong in my entire life.

“No reason to thank me, baby. You gave yourself completely over to me and by doing that, it’s my responsibility to take care of you, to make sure you’re safe. This isn’t a game to me.”

“It’s not a game to me either.” I said as I continued to hold onto him.